All language subtitles for After Hours 1985 Criterion 1080p BluRay HEVC x265 BONE

[typing]

- Uh, okay.
- Punch.

- Punch it in.
- Okay. Right.

Okay. Let's --
First of all, refresh the screen here.

All right, and go on a format roller.

There.

All right. Now file?

- Right.
- Right.

- And it's in memory?
- Right.

And...

- Mark this down in the prefix file codes.
- Right, right, right, right.

Prefix code. Right, right, right.

- [typing]
- Okay.

Good. Yeah, you got it.
Another week, you'll have it down.

- It's temporary anyway.
- Mmm?

I said, it's temporary anyway.

I do not intend to be stuck doing this
for the rest of my life.

Don't tell Mr. Devlin I said that, please.

Okay.

'Cause what I really wanna do is,
I'd really like to get into publishing.

You know, there just aren't
any openings right now.

But what I would love to do is just
create a magazine, my own magazine, um,

which would be, like,
a forum for writers and intellectuals

who can't get into print anywhere else,
who could, you know --

I -- I'm not into, like, editing
or trying to reach a particular audience.

Getting it out there,
they would get some momentum going,

you know, and do, you know,
do something with...

- with, you know...
- Excuse me one second.

[low, indistinct voices on TV]

[clicking, channels changing]

I love that book.

[chuckles] I love that book.

[chuckles] Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I think Miller's really great.

"This is not a book.
This is a prolonged insult.

A gob of spit in the face of art.

A kick in the pants to truth,
beauty, God... "[laughs]

Something like that.

[laughs] That's very good.

Well, that's all I remember.

I've read this before. I mean, I don't...
I'm just rereading it.

I don't reread books that often but, uh...

I don't know. This one's my favorite.

I like it better than Capricorn
or Plexus or...

- Sexus.
- [chuckles]

You know, he used to kiss himself
after he ate a good meal.

It's mostly, uh...

Let me ask you. Does that cashier
seem a little weird to you?

He keeps making these strange movements.

- [both laugh]
- God!

I think he's just waiting
to be discovered.

Mmm.

Do you want another coffee?

No. I'm gonna head over
to my friend's house.

- Which way you headed?
- Downtown. SoHo.

Oh, nice. Nice. A loft?

Yeah. She's a sculptress.

Lately, she's been making these
plaster of paris bagels and cream cheese.

Really?

She's trying to sell them as paperweights.
You wanna buy one?

Paperweight?

Yeah, I would. How much are they?

I don't know.

If you think you might be interested,
her number's 243-3460.

- 243-3460. Okay.
- Mm-hmm.

Her name is Kiki Bridges.

Kiki Bridges. Okay.

- Nice talking to you.
- Yeah. Great talking to you.

Excuse me. Um, can I borrow your pen?

Thank you.

[line ringing]

- [Kiki] Yeah?
- Yes. Uh, is Kiki Bridges there, please?

- This is her.
- Hi.

You don't know me. I'm calling because
I'm interested in your paperweights.

Yeah?

- You're the sculptress, right?
- Mm-hmm.

Um, well, a girl I met tonight
in a coffee shop

- told me that she was staying with you --
- Oh, you mean Marcy.

Marcy. I-I don't know.
She didn't tell me her name.

Hold on. I'll get her.

She told me about these paperweights
and the work that you do.

[Marcy] Hello?

- Hello? Marcy?
- Yeah.

Hi, this is Paul Hackett.
We met earlier tonight.

Hi. Sure, I remember.

- How are you?
- All right. I'm all right.

I just got in and I opened up my book
and saw your number and... [chuckles]

Good.

I'm glad you called. [chuckles]

So...

So do you work near that coffee shop
or live in the neighborhood or...

No, I was just over
at a good friend of mine's.

Actually, we had a terrible argument.

That's too bad.

Yeah, it is.

Well, I'm sure whatever it was,
I'm sure you'll straighten it out.

You think so? I mean,
do you think I should try to make up?

Well, I don't know. I mean, you know,
there's some -- Maybe you're better off.

You know, I don't know what
the circumstances were, but sometimes...

You know, I don't -- It's not even --
It's not my business. I don't...

- Maybe you should come over, Paul.
- What?

Maybe you should come on over.

Sure. Sure. Now?

Yeah. Why not?

[chuckles]

Um, where -- where to?

- I'm at 28 Howard Street.
- Mm-hmm.

It's on the corner of Crosby.

It's in SoHo.
The name on the buzzer is Franklin.

Not Bridges?

Bridges is crossed out.

Just press the buzzer.

Okay. About 45 minutes?

- Yeah, great. I'll see you later.
- All right.

- Paul?
- Yes.

Um, I'm really glad you called.

Me too. Me too.

Okay. I'll see you later.

- Bye.
- Bye.

["En La Cueva" playing]

- I only got a 20. Can you break it?
- [driver] Yeah, sure. No problem.

Uh, no hurry.

[tires squealing]

[horn honking]

["En La Cueva" continues playing]

Oh!

Oh, shit!

Excuse me, I just...

Damn! Oh, my God!

Excuse me. Um...

My, uh, money flew out the window.

["En La Cueva" continues playing]

[song ends]

[cabdriver] Okay, that'll be 6.50.

[Paul] Listen, um, my money
just flew out the window.

I put it in this cradle

and you went so fast around that corner
that I don't have any, um...

What I'm saying is, I don't have
any money. I'm really sorry. I --

Look, let me show you something.

Look, that was -- I had $20.

- And now, I don't have any more.
- [scoffs]

I'm really sorry.

[tires squeal]

Franklin. Franklin.

Franklin.

Franklin. Franklin.

Franklin.

[buzzing]

- Are you Paul?
- Yeah.

Here, catch.

[thunder rumbling]

[piano playing]

- Hi.
- Hi.

[piano continues playing]

- Your keys.
- You can just put them on the table.

[Paul] I like that.

- Do you?
- Yeah. Very much.

It reminds me of that
Edvard Munch painting.

What is it? The, uh, The Shriek.

The Scream.

The Scream. Right.

[quietly] God.

Yeah.

Sort of like a three-dimensional version
of that painting.

Is Marcy here?

[clears throat] She had to go out
to the all-night drugstore.

Is she all right?

It's under control.

This place is huge.

Do you, uh -- Do you share it with anyone?

Hey, would you like to work on this
for a while?

- I could use a break.
- What?

It's not hard.

[chuckles] What are you talking about?

This is yours.
How would I know what you want?

- Look, it's real easy.
- [phone ringing]

Just take some of this stuff
and slap it on like this.

[ringing continues]

[Kiki] All right, I'm coming.

- Yeah?
- [piano playing stops]

Well, of course he's here.
You invited him.

[piano resumes playing]

That's your problem, Marcy.
I'm not gonna tell him.

I'm not telling him.

I can't talk any louder.

All right, hurry up.

- How's it going?
- It's great.

I'm just giving him a shoulder.

Look what you did to your shirt.

Oh, good.

- Give it to me. I'll throw it in the wash.
- No, that's all right.

It'll only take 20 minutes.

That's -- That's okay.

Come on. You wanna look nice
for your big date, don't you?

All right.

- Twenty minutes, huh?
- Mm-hmm.

Okay.

- Put this on while you're waiting.
- Thanks.

[piano resumes playing]

You do that all day
and your own shoulders get pretty sore.

Want a massage?

- Read my mind. Would you?
- Sure.

I'm not too good at this.

Just know a few basic moves.

Just make it hurt
and you're on the right track.

That's all I know.

Okay.

[piano stops playing]

- You have a great body.
- Yes.

- [piano resumes playing]
- Not a lot of scars.

That's true.

Never occurred to me.

I mean, some women I know
are covered with them head to toe.

Not me.

- Scars?
- Mm-hmm.

Horrible, ugly scars.

I'm just telling you now.

Um, I don't know.

I know when I was a kid,
I had to have my tonsils taken out.

And after the operation,

they didn't have enough room
in pediatrics,

so they had to put me in the burn ward.

But before they wheeled me in,

this nurse gave me
this blindfold to put on,

and she told me never to take it off.

If I did,

they'd have to do the operation
all over again. [chuckles]

L-I didn't understand what my tonsils
had to do with my eyes either, but...

Anyway...

that night --

at least I think it was night --

I had reached up to untie the blindfold...

and I saw...

[Kiki snoring]

[piano continues playing]

[door closes]

[footsteps approaching]

- [snoring continues]
- [door lock turning]

Hello again.

- Sorry about this. I was detained.
- Hey, don't worry about it.

- So how are you?
- Good. Good.

Well, I made it. [sighs]

You wouldn't -- I'm here.

Uh...

Why don't we go into my room
and get away from all this mess?

Sure.

Your roommate was just dipping all day

and then put me to work.

I feel like a real SoHo artist.

What did you do to her?

I -- I didn't do anything to her.
She was asleep.

I mean, she just -- She was tired.

- What do you mean, what did I do to her?
- Easy, easy. It was an innocent question.

[sighs] Look, I'm...
I'm gonna take a quick shower.

I'll be right back, okay?

Sure. Yeah. I mean, I think a shower
would probably do you good.

You had a tough day.

[chuckles] I knew there was
something special about you.

I hope you don't have to get up early
tomorrow or anything.

[Paul] No. No, I don't.

Because I think you're somebody
I can really talk to.

And tonight I feel like... [sighs]

I feel like I'm gonna let loose
or something.

I feel like...

I feel like something incredible
is really gonna happen here.

[laughs]

I feel so excited and I don't know why.

I feel it. [laughs]

I'm glad you came. [laughs]

- Me too.
- [laughs]

if you want to smoke a joint,
there's a couple in there. Feel free.

Uh... no. Maybe later.

[door opens, closes]

[phone ringing]

[water running]

[ringing continues]

- Hello?
- ls Marcy there?

Uh, she can't come to the phone right now.
May I take a message?

- Could you just tell her Greg called?
- Sure.

Is she back?

Uh-huh.

[bathroom door opens, closes]

[footsteps approaching]

- That felt good.
- Yeah.

- Oh. You want me to close the window?
- No, it's all right. I got it.

Boy! Whoever used to live here
must have been a bodybuilder.

Jesus!

Oh, yeah. Who's Franklin?
The buzzer, when I came over here.

Hey, I thought I told you
to stay on the bed.

Right.

I'm gonna ask you to wait here
just one more minute. I promise.

All right.

You're the best.

[Marcy and Kiki whispering, giggling]

- [Marcy] What, Paul?
- What?

What did you say?

I didn't say anything.

You didn't just say something just now?

No, I... I didn't say anything.

I could have sworn I thought
I heard you say something in here.

Well... I didn't.

I don't think I'll be able
to sleep at all tonight.

What's that smell? Is that linseed?

- It's skin moisturizer. I have dry skin.
- Really?

Feels pretty soft to me.

Please. [grunts]

- What's the matter?
- Nothing.

I think you're very nice, I do.
Could we just talk a little while?

Of course. [chuckles]

Sure.

- Greg called.
- Oh!

How did that little faggot find out
I was staying here tonight?

Probably wants to whine to me
about his latest boyfriend.

[chuckles]

Friends like that
are hard to deal with sometimes.

Well, that's what friends are for.

I know that, but I meant...

I just can't deal with it tonight.

Does he want me to call him back?

He didn't say.

Well... [clicks tongue]

Since you answered the phone...

he probably figured I was...

[door closes]

I'm scared.

Why don't you just tell me what's wrong?

[sighs]

I was raped once.

As a matter of fact,
it happened right here in this room.

I lived here once.

He came in through there,
off the fire escape.

[sighs] He held a knife to my throat
and said

if I made any noise,
he'd cut my tongue out.

He tied me to the bed.

He took his time. Six hours.

My God.

Was he, um...

Did they get this guy?

No.

Actually, it was a boyfriend of mine.

To tell you the truth,
I slept through most of it.

So there you are.

[phone ringing]

[ringing continues]

[ringing stops]

You wanna get some coffee?
I feel like getting out of here.

Absolutely.

Is there a place open this late?

Sure. It's not even 2:00 yet.

[door closes]

- Ready?
- [Paul] Mm-hmm.

Can I ask you something?
I've wanted to ask you this all night.

- Who's Franklin?
- Franklin?

Franklin is my husband.

Really?

Is that, um, his loft, then?

He owns it, yes.

Uh-huh. Okay.

Let's see.

- Well, do you live with him?
- No. He's in Turkey.

Oh.

I stayed with my husband for three days.
I was very young when I got married.

My husband was a movie freak.

Actually, he was particularly obsessed
with one movie:

The Wizard of Oz.

He talked about it constantly.

I thought it was cute at first.

On our wedding night, I was a virgin.

When we made love --
You've seen the film, haven't you?

The Wizard of Oz? Yeah, I've seen it.

Well, when we made love, whenever he...

you know, when he came,

he would just... scream out,
"Surrender Dorothy!"

That's all.
Just, "Surrender Dorothy!" [laughs]

Wow.

I know. Instead of moaning or saying,
"Oh, God" or something normal like that.

[chuckles]
I mean, it was pretty creepy. [laughs]

And I told him I thought so,
but he just -- he just couldn't stop.

He just -- He just couldn't stop.
He just... couldn't stop.

[laughs] He...

He said he didn't even realize
it was happening. [laughs]

He just couldn't stop.

So I just broke the whole thing off.

Wow. I'm sorry. I...

I guess I'm really putting you
through the mill tonight, huh?

It's okay. I'm used to it.

You know, I still love him very much.

In fact, we write each other every day.

Naturally, I don't like to talk about it.

- Could we have the check?
- It's on the house.

- Really?
- Sure, what the hell.

Different rules apply when it gets
this late. You know what I mean?

It's like, uh, after-hours.

[chuckles]

- Thanks, Peter.
- Sure, Marcy.

Have a good evening.

[Marcy] Allons-nous.

[piano playing]

[Marcy sobbing]

- Oh, no.
- It's okay. It's okay.

- Do you want me to go?
- [cries loudly]

[thunder rumbling]

[Marcy and Kiki whispering]

[Marcy] The pill makes me sick.

[Kiki] Everything makes you sick, Marcy.
Everything makes you sick.

[Marcy] The guys gave it to me.

Oh, my...

God! Oh!

[gasps] Oh!

[Paul gasps, clears throat]

[Paul clears throat]

Well, here we are.

- So how about that joint?
- Yeah.

- [chuckles] Good idea.
- Great.

[door closes]

What type of pot is this?

- It's Colombian.
- [scoffs]

- That's a lie.
- What?

This isn't Colombian.
I don't even think it's pot.

That's what the guy
who sold it to me said it was.

Well, the guy who sold it to you
is a liar.

So are you. That's shit.

[chuckles] Don't get upset.
I just won't buy it from him anymore.

That's horseshit.

Are you all right?

Where are those plaster of paris
paperweights, anyway?

I mean, that's what I came down here for
in the first place.

Well, that's not entirely true.
I came to see you.

But where are the paperweights?
That's what I wanna see now.

- What's the matter?
- I said, I wanna see a plaster of paris

bagel and cream cheese paperweight.
Now, cough it up.

- Right now?
- Yes, right now.

- They're in Kiki's bedroom.
- Then get 'em.

'Cause as we sit here chatting,

there are important papers
flying rampant around my apartment

'cause I don't have anything
to hold them down with.

Fine.

[door opens, closes]

[Marcy sobbing]

[Marcy] I don't know, Kiki.

[Kiki] Come on, Marcy. It's all right.

- Okay. I'm sorry about it.
- [sobbing continues]

[Marcy screams]

- It's really coming down, huh?
- Oh! Boy, you bet.

- Here you go.
- The fare is $1.50.

What?

Fare went up to $1.50 as of midnight.

You're kidding.

Well...

- I've got 97 cents.
- No.

- It's raining like mad out there.
- No.

Would you just give me a break?
I really just wanna go home.

I'm sorry. I can't do that.
I could lose my job.

Well, who would -- who would know, exactly?

I could go to a party, get drunk,
talk to someone. Who knows?

Would you just give me a goddamn token?

No, goddamn it! I cannot give you a token.
Those tokens are a dollar and a half.

I can't sell them for 97 cents.
We'd lose money that way.

All right, there's the train!
There's the train!

Come on, give me a token! Come on!

No! Will you --

[muffled] All right, all right. Forget it.
Never mind. Thank you.

- Can I help you?
- Yeah.

I wanted to take the express,
and that was a local.

- I mean, the other way around.
- Hey.

- I'm talking to you.
- I know. I'm sorry.

I've never done that in my life.
I don't know what came over me.

It's the fares. They went up,
and I have 97 cents.

I won't even take the train.
I won't even take it. I'm sorry.

- [train passing]
- It's nothing. That's my train.

That's the one I wanted. Thanks a lot.

[officer] Must be a full moon out there.

["You're Mine" playing on jukebox]

♪ You're mine ♪

♪ Yes, you are ♪

♪ You're mine ♪

♪ And I need you so ♪

♪ You're mine ♪

♪ Never will I let you go ♪

♪ Oh, darling ♪

♪ I'm so glad you're mine ♪

♪ I thank the Lord for you ♪

♪ And I'm sure you'll thank him too ♪

- Can I get you something?
- [song continues playing]

I have 97 cents.

Hmm. That's not very much, is it?

No. No, it's not.

[sighs] Do I have to order something?
I mean, can I just sit here for a minute?

- Oh, yes. Sure.
- Thanks.

You can.

♪ You're mine ♪

♪ And you'll always be ♪

♪ You're mine ♪

♪ Can't you see ♪

♪ The Lord ♪

♪ Made you ♪

♪ For me ♪

♪ Oh, darling ♪

♪ I'm so glad you're mine ♪

[song ends]

[sighs]

[pants unzip]

[urinating]

[urinating stops]

♪ You're mine ♪

- [clicks tongue]
- [pants zip]

♪ And we belong together ♪

♪ Yes, we belong together ♪

♪ For all eternity ♪

♪ Eternity ♪

♪ You're mine ♪

- ♪ Your lips belong to me ♪
- What'll it be?

[song continues playing]

I don't want anything.
I just wanna sit here.

Is that okay?

- Sure.
- Thanks.

But I'll tell you one thing.

If you're looking to make friends,
don't get your hopes up.

- Looks like a pretty slow night.
- [chuckles]

Yeah.

Well... it is late.

Not for this place.

- Things are usually hopping around now.
- That's all right, really.

I really just wanted
to get in out of the rain.

I just hope it lets up soon.

I really just wanna go home.

Aren't the subways running?

Mm-hmm.

But I happen to be broke
at the moment, see.

Oh, Christ. I'll give you the money.

- Poor guy. Jesus.
- Really?

Buddy, I can't tell you how much
that would mean to me.

[knocking]

Oh, Christ. Not another one.

What? Another what?

Guy lives in the same building as me.
He's been here three times already tonight

to tell me about three separate burglaries
in this neighborhood, all tonight.

- Shit.
- What?

What?

Oh! No, I was just trying to remember

if I turned my burglar alarm on
at home tonight.

Sometimes I forget.

Oh, well, anyway.

[register dinging]

Oh! That's all right. It's all right.

Oh! That's all right, that's all right.
Forget it, forget it. It doesn't matter.

No, I'd just like to open the register.
I mean, what if I got a rush now?

Yeah, I see your point. Um...

What about -- What about a key?
Do you have a key for that?

Yeah, but I keep it up in my apartment.

Damn. That's too bad.

[sighs]

Listen, I can't go anywhere right now,
but how'd you like to do me a favor?

- For subway fare?
- If you don't mind.

- You got it.
- I'm at 158 Spring Street, top floor.

Wait a minute. Whoa, what am I doing?

Right, right.

You don't know me, I don't know you.

I might rip you off, right?
Is that what you're thinking?

[Paul sighs]

I'm not gonna rip you off. I'm not.

If you know
what I've been through tonight,

you'd know that the last thing I wanna do
is steal from somebody.

I really just wanna get home.

Look, here.

Here are my keys.
This is my deposit, okay?

If I don't come back, these are yours.
Everything I own is yours.

I just wanna get home.

Keep them.

Okay, all right. Good.

Uh, here.

The keys for the register
are over the light switch, on a hook.

The alarm is underneath the light switch.

Make sure you see
a beeping red light, okay?

- Beeping red light. 158 Spring.
- Top floor.

I'm gonna be right back.

[thunder rumbling]

[sirens wailing in distance]

[beeping]

Oh, no.

Oh, God.

Oh, Jesus! God.

- [neighbor 1 ] Look, a postcard from Phil.
- [neighbor 2] I don't wanna read it.

I'm jealous.
He even sounded tan on the phone.

[neighbor 1 ] Well, I wonder
if this is our local friendly burglar.

[neighbor 2] Did you get what you wanted

or did we get back too soon
and spoil your fun?

- Who are you? You don't live here.
- I'm a friend of Tom's.

Tom who? There are three Toms
living in this building.

Look, guys, I'm not a burglar.
So get your hands off me.

- He asked you which Tom.
- I don't know Tom's last name.

He's on the top floor.
How many Toms are on the top floor?

How'd you get in here?

He gave me the keys. Look. Look, see this?

He gave me the keys and I let myself in.

Sorry, there's been about eight break-ins
in this neighborhood just this last week.

- Okay, I'm sorry.
- No offense.

All right. I didn't know that.

[person] Hey, we gonna hit RadioShack
tonight, man?

[person 2] Nah, let's wait till next week.
That's when the new models come in.

Hey! Where'd you get that?

[tires squealing]

[buzzing]

Ki -- Kiki! God, what happened?

Just throw down the keys.
Just throw it. Be careful.

That's right. Give it a good throw.
There you go.

Oh! Hold on, Kiki.

Bastards!

What have they done?

What are these guys, sailors?
Look at this work.

It's so elaborate.
Must've taken them hours.

- How'd they get in?
- How did who get in?

- The burglars.
- The burglars? What burglars?

The ones who took your sculpture
and your TV set.

[laughs]

- Neil and Pepe?
- Who?

It was Neil and Pepe.
They're friends of mine.

I just sold them my television
for 300 bucks.

How did you get a hold of my sculpture?

[door opens]

[footsteps approaching]

- This the guy?
- [Kiki] Yeah.

I'm Horst.

I'm Paul. Hi.

That was rude of you before, Paul.

You really ought to be
ashamed of yourself.

I am.

I don't know what could have come over me.

Lack of discipline.

Possibly.

Well, it's not too late to finish
what you started.

Marcy, it's Paul.

[knocking]

Hi.

Um...

Listen, I owe you an apology.

Uh, there's just no excuse for leaving
the way I did. And I'm sorry.

You know, I just figured...

it's not working out between us,
and, uh, hell, I'll never see you again.

You know, there's just no excuse.

I think I just got a little spooked,
you know?

With that story about your husband
and your boyfriend.

I mean, that was really weird.

What was that all about? [chuckles]

And, uh, I gathered there's something...

wrong, or you have
some burns or something,

and, uh, I -- I just couldn't handle that.

I'm sorry. I -- I don't know
what happened to me.

[sighs] I don't know. Maybe the timing's
just off or something, but, um...

I think I just better go.

Okay?

Marcy?

Marcy.

Mar --

Oh, Jesus! Marcy.

Oh, God! Breathe. Breathe.

Kiki! Kiki!

Come on!

Oh, Jesus!

[doorknob rattling]

[grunting]

[grunts] Ow!

Kiki! Kiki!

Kiki! Horst!

[Kiki] Paul and Marcy, Horst and I
went to Club Berlin for drinks.

Join us if you feel up to it.
Corner West Broadway and Grand.

See ya! Kiki.

[Paul] Shit.

Operator, give me the police.

Yes, I wanna report a death.

Oh, God.

Oh, no.

[door closes]

[thunder rumbling]

Psst! Hey, it's me.

- I did it. I quit my job.
- What do you want me to do about it?

Well, let's go have a drink.
Let's celebrate. Pier Three is open.

Look, lady, I don't know
what your problem is,

but I've gotta get over to that bar,
get my keys, so I can get home.

[Paul] Oh, look at this.

Huh.

[Paul] Now what?

This is incredible.

Where the hell is he?

You know, I live across the street.
Would you like a TV dinner?

Oh, wait a minute! Neil, Pepe!

Wait a minute! I didn't know!

Hey, speed up. It's that dude again, man.
Get out of here.

I didn't know.

I didn't know.

I didn't know.

Oh, God.

My place?

["Last Train To Clarksville" playing]

You like The Monkees?

[chuckles]

What's your name?

- ♪ Take the last train to Clarksville ♪
- Julie.

♪ And I'll meet you at the station ♪

♪ You can be here by 4:30 ♪

♪ 'Cause I've made your reservation ♪

♪ Don't be slow ♪

I'm Paul.

Rough night, huh, Paul?

You look depressed.

I came downtown tonight...

Oh, God.

I didn't even know...
I didn't even know this girl.

[laughs nervously]

Oh, my...

[song continues playing]

[sobbing] Oh, God.

♪ And I don't know
if I'm ever coming home ♪

I didn't even know her.

- Oh!
- Hang on.

- [record scratches]
- [music stops]

- ["Chelsea Morning" playing]
- Is that better?

"Chelsea Morning."

Go on. What is it? Talk to me.

I'm -- I'm -- I'm fine, really.

I just -- I'm gonna be out of your way
in just a sec. I really, uh...

[sighs] I'm just waiting for them
to open up downstairs.

I'll just get my keys and go home.

Boy, oh, boy. Oh, boy.

[thunder rumbling]

Just let it go, honey.
Tell me your problems.

I don't think so.

Paul, lighten up. What is this?

This doom and gloom and...

Be loosey-goosey. Come on.

- What are you talking about?
- Come on, tell me your problems.

[Paul] Where the hell is he?

- What the hell time is it?
- It's very late.

[thunder rumbling]

Jesus.

So, um, you really hate that job, huh?

Yeah. I hate both my jobs, you know?

Oh, yeah? What else do you do?

Well, I work in the Xerox shop downstairs.

- Downstairs?
- Yeah.

We're right on top of it.

I've got the keys.
You want to go down and see it?

Um, no, no. Thanks. I've had about
enough excitement for one night.

It's a lousy job, but...

I can get free copies whenever I want to.

Gee whiz.

Hey, what is that? "Gee whiz"?

I mean, are you humoring me?

I don't have to take that kind of shit.
I mean, what is it with people today?

You can't say anything without
getting some kind of a smart answer.

You just have to be so goddamn careful
about everything you say.

You think I don't notice?
I know what's going on.

I overhear the customers at the Xerox shop
when they're making fun of me.

I didn't mean anything by that.

I mean, it was -- it was raining outside,
and I invited you to come into my home.

I didn't have to do that, now, did I?

Now, first of all, you're not stupid.

Look, I have trouble figuring out
the tax on checks. So what?

I mean, 8% is a bitch!

So I make a few mistakes!
So I make a few mistakes!

So, sue me! Call your lawyers!

Okay, come on.
Come on, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

You want to sit down?
Come on, come on. Sit down.

- Okay.
- I'm sorry.

- Come here.
- [sniffles, sobs]

Oh, I'm sorry I was rude before.
I really am.

- Okay, no more crying. Please.
- Okay.

What a night.

- Hey, Paul?
- Hmm?

Do you like my hairdo?

Yes. Yes, I do.

Then why don't you touch it?

- I don't want to mess it up.
- You won't.

- I -- You want me to?
- Yeah.

Okay.

- Oh, I hear him. I hear him.
- Ow! Oh!

That's him. I hear him. I hear him.
I hear him. No, no, it's okay.

Oh, thank God, he's there! He's there!
I can go home.

- Ow! Oh!
- Excuse me. I'm -- What's the matter?

Oh. [chuckles]

Well, nothing, I-I just...

[thunder rumbling]

You know, I really got the feeling
that you kind of liked me, you know?

You're not gonna leave now, not after
I brought you in out of the rain, are you?

All right. All right. I'm going to...

Here's what I'll do. I'll...

I'm gonna go to the bar,
give your boss back his keys.

Then I'm gonna get my keys,
and then I'll be back. Okay?

- It should take all of two minutes.
- Yeah, sure.

Julie, two minutes. Okay?

["Over the Mountain and Across the Sea"
playing on jukebox]

♪ Cross over the river
Beyond every cloud ♪

- Well, well, what happened to you?
- [song continues playing]

Long, difficult story.

Honestly, when you didn't show up for
so long, I figured you did rob me blind.

I had to close up here to check it out.

A neighbor had to let me
into my own building.

He told me he did see you leave,
but he wasn't too sure about you either.

But here you are.

I tell you, you had me worried.

How about a drink?
Sure look like you could use one.

[Paul chuckles]

You don't happen to have any powerful
aphrodisiacs back there, do you?

She won't put out, huh?

No, it's not for her. It's for me.

I seem to have gotten myself
involved with, um...

one of your cocktail waitresses.

Miss Beehive, 1965.

[chuckles] Yes.

Don't even ask me how.

So take off.
What's she gonna do, kill herself?

[phone rings]

Terminal.

Mm-hmm.

What's up, Bridge?

♪... And starry night ♪

♪ Oh, what a mystery
That's sealed so tight ♪

♪ Over the mountain, a girl waits ♪

- [Paul] You know...
- ♪ For me ♪

You know, you're right. Just give me
my keys. I'm gonna go home.

♪ Darling, here I am, over the mountain ♪

♪ But all the mountains in the world
Couldn't block your love from my heart ♪

What's the matter?

[Tom] Uh...

my...

my girlfriend...

just killed herself a little while ago.

- Took some sleeping pills.
- Oh, Jesus Christ.

- Oh, no.
- How awful!

She, uh...

[sighs] We had an argument.

I told her she had to get out
of the apartment, and I...

It's my fault.

God!

Marcy!

Marcy! Marcy!

Marcy! Marcy! Marcy! Marcy! Marcy! Marcy!

Marcy!

["One Summer Night" playing on jukebox]

♪ One summer night, I kissed your lips ♪

I...

Oh, God...

I don't know what to say. I just --

- I don't know what to say.
- What can you say?

After all, it wasn't your fault.

I'm going to, uh -- I'm gonna be
right back, okay? Try to stay calm.

♪ Kiss me ♪

♪ Oh, so tenderly ♪

[buzzing]

- Oh!
- Are you all right?

Why, yes.

[thunder rumbling]

You said two minutes, though.

I know. I know. [chuckles]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Did you miss me?

Like I've never missed anyone
in my whole life,

is how much I missed you.

- Really?
- I can't believe how much I missed you.

I just...

- I really did miss you, I must --
- That's very sweet.

I'm gonna give you a present.

Don't do that.
That's really not necessary at all.

I mean, I've only known you,
what, an hour?

No, no, no. You said that you were
gonna come back, and you did.

And these days, that is something
to be commended... and rewarded.

- Do you know what this is?
- No.

[mouse trap snaps]

[squeaking]

This is a plaster of paris
bagel and cream cheese paperweight.

I bought it from a local artist.
Kiki Bridges. Did you ever hear of her?

- Julie.
- Hmm?

[sighs] I promised I would come back,
and I did.

Now I really do have to go.

I gotta sleep.
You understand that, don't you?

And I promise I'm gonna see you again.

I will.

Okay?

You all right?

Why do you keep asking me that, huh?

What's with you?
Are you nuts or something?

Let's exchange phone numbers.
Wanna do that?

- Phone numbers?
- Yeah, come on.

It's a great idea. Okay?
Here, I'll just write it on this.

Okay. What's your number?

My number is 54433. Very easy to remember.

- 54433.
- It's a sequence. Mm-hmm.

That's not enough numbers, but okay.

- Well, uh --
- 54433.

- [chuckling] Okay.
- No, KL5-4433.

I'm sorry. Okay. Okay. Sorry, sorry.

- Oh, God!
- Wait!

Get that away from me! Jesus!

[Julie] Oh, really?

Oh!

Well, you're gonna be sorry for this,
because I am going to get you!

Oh, you're kidding me. Not again!

Jesus.

What is this? [sighs]

Oh, God.

Hey, let's knock off for the night, okay?
My back's killing me.

Oh, come on, man.
Let's look for my statue, man.

It's gotta be around here someplace.

That makes me sick. That statue was
the first thing in my life I ever bought.

See what happens when you pay for stuff?
Somebody rips it off.

Shit.

Come on, it's gotta be
around here someplace, man.

Let's cruise up Mercer Street.

Tom?

Tom, it's Paul.

[neighbor 1 ] I was afraid to go in because
you don't wanna confront those people.

Some of them are drugged up

and you don't know whether
they've got a knife or what.

[neighbor 2]
That's two in this building tonight.

[neighbor 1 ] I wasn't out an hour.

I come in, the cameras are gone,
the lenses are gone, the whole thing.

- Did you call your insurance agent?
- I don't have insurance.

Besides which, who cares?
I mean, the films are gone.

- I know, I know.
- It's that guy again.

Hey!

[neighbor 2] Where is he?
Don't let him get away.

- You know where he went?
- I don't know. Let's go this way.

[neighbor 2] Maybe that's him.
Wait a minute! Hey!

[neighbor 3] Get him to stop.

[chattering, shouting]

[cashier] Come on, get your
grubby face out of here. Get out!

- Hey, fella, where you going?
- Restroom?

You didn't just come in here
to use the bathroom, did you?

'Cause that bathroom's for customers only.

I'm gonna order something, really.
I-I just wanna use your bathroom, okay?

[cashier] Hey, didn't you hear me?

Come on, you goddamn mutt,
get out of here and stay out of here.

[sighs]

[groans]

Um, menu's on the table.
Make yourself comfortable.

- I set it up for you.
- Oh.

Thank you.

Oh!

[Kiki] Paul and Marcy, Horst and I
went to Club Berlin for drinks.

I'm just gonna go put a quarter
in the meter of my car. And, uh...

Let's see. I'll have a burger,
medium rare, coffee.

May I enter?

I can't let you in at the moment.

Will it be possible to be admitted
at a more convenient time for the club?

It is possible, but not at the moment.

[Paul] God.

If you're so drawn to it,
you can try and force your way in.

Got any money?

Yes, I have money.
Is that what you want? Money?

Why didn't you just ask that
in the first place, man?

Here. It's not much,
but it's all I've got.

I'll take your money

'cause I don't want you to feel
you left anything untried.

You keep the quarter.

You still have to wait a few minutes.

Hey, man.

Why doesn't he have to wait a few minutes?

Tonight is mohawk night.
If you had a mohawk, you could go in.

[laughs]

Oh, come on. We're both adults.

Why don't -- Why don't you just let me in?

- Do you really wanna go inside?
- Yes.

It's very important. I've got people
in there. They're expecting me.

Why don't you just let me in?

You're sure?

Yes, I'm sure.

["Pay to Cum" playing]

[bouncer] Coming through, coming through.

All right, now, to your left
and straight ahead.

- [Paul] What?
- Right through there,

- and straight up ahead.
- Right.

- Mohawk this guy.
- With pleasure.

Wait. I'm not getting a haircut!

- [bouncer] Hey, don't let him out of here!
- Kiki!

- Kiki! Kiki! Horst!
- [bouncer] Bring him back!

Kiki! Horst!

- Kiki! Horst!
- Mohawk the man!

Marcy's dead! Neil and Pepe are crooks!

I'm broke! Help!

No! No! Don't! No!

Don't! No!

No! Help!

- [shouting]
- [punk rock continues playing]

Oh, God, what have they done to me?

I'll kill those barbarians!
I'll kill them!

Bald! God! Get me a gun!

[knocking]

Hello? Hello?

[neighbors chattering outside]

Taxi. Taxi. Come here.

- Oh! God, I'm so sorry.
- Oh! God -- It's all right.

Oh! Oh, this is great.
Look, I got the money back.

Look at that. isn't that great?
Now you can take me uptown.

Great. I'll be right back.

- See how you like it!
- No, don't! No!

Oh, no! No!

Oh! Oh, no!

No, no, no.

I don't believe it. Did you see that?

- Huh?
- Ohh! Look at your arm. It's bleeding.

[Paul] Oh, great.

I feel terrible.

Look, why don't you come with me
and I'll get you a bandage.

- No, thank you. It's not that serious.
- No, I insist.

No...

- Do you have a telephone?
- Yeah.

I'm sorry. I'm... I'm... I just...

You wouldn't believe
what I've been through tonight.

You just wouldn't believe it.

Oh, I'm, uh... I'm an ice cream vendor.
Mister Softee.

What? I...

You misunderstood me.
I didn't ask what you did for a living.

I said, "You wouldn't believe
what I've been through tonight."

It's not boring.

And I have my own Mister Softee truck.
It's not... It's not boring.

Ah.

Also, you need a Class Four
New York State chauffeur's license.

- Guess who has one. Got it on my own.
- Mm-hmm.

Manhattan, please. Could I have
the number of a Peter Patzak?

- Uh, that's P-A-T-Z-A-K.
- [operator] Thank you.

- Need a pencil?
- No.

On Mulberry Street.

[operator] That's 878138.

- Thank you.
- Have a goodnight.

5819...

- 6...
- Don't.

...2.

[both laughing]

That was funny. That was funny.

[dialing]

- [operator] How may I help you?
- Patzak, please. P-A-T-Z-A-K.

On Mulberry Street in Manhattan.

Thank you.

5862...

- Don't.
-...9380.

[laughing]

- Now I have forgotten the number.
- [laughs]

What is wrong with you? Are you all right?

I have had a terrible, terrible night.
Do you understand?

I'm just trying to entertain you.

I don't want any entertainment!

And I'm sorry I did that. I'm sorry.

I just -- I -- I'm under...

Oh, God!

I -- I'm unable to get home tonight.
You know? I can't get home.

And I'm trying desperately...

to find a place where I can stay tonight.
Just sleep. All I want to do is sleep.

There is a place on Spring Street.
I could stay there, but I don't want to.

- Yeah, why not?
- Why not what?

Why aren't you there?
There's a place on Spring Street. Go.

Because the bartender who lives there,
his girlfriend killed herself tonight.

- And I think it's because of me.
- I see. That's out, then.

That's right, that's out. That is out.

That is not a possibility.

So if you'd just let me
make this phone call,

you'd be doing me such a favor,
you really would.

- Please.
- That can wait.

I hurt your arm and now
I want to dress your arm, please.

All right.

- How'd that get there?
- What?

I was dipping papier-mâché earlier.

What is this?

"A man was torn limb from limb

- by an irate mob last night..."
- Limb from limb?

"... In the fashionable SoHo area
of Manhattan.

Police are having difficulty identifying
the man because no form of ID

- was found on his shredded clothing."
- Shredded?

"And his entire face was pummeled
completely beyond recognition --"

- Okay. Forget that.
- Whoa!

I can't handle things like that right now.

What does a guy have to do
to get his face pummeled?

All right, I can't -- Ow! Jesus!

- Why does that hurt so much?
- Because it's infected.

- Let me get it off for you.
- Ow! Just stop touching it!

- I want to get it off for you!
- Stop touching it!

- I know. I'll burn it off.
- No. You're not gonna burn it off.

I just need matches.
I'm gonna go ask a neighbor.

- No, lady, no!
- My name is Gail!

- Lady, no!
- [door slams]

[siren wailing in distance]

No matches. No matches.
That's enough, now.

Where are you going?

I'm going home. I'm walking home now.

- How far is home?
- East 91st Street.

East 91st? Are you kidding?

Listen, I like you and I don't know why --

Why don't I give you a ride home
in my Mister Softee truck?

How's that sound?

- Where's the truck?
- Right around the corner.

Well, come on.

Come on.

- What's the matter?
- Shut up.

- What?
- Shut up.

What's wrong?

- You're dead, pal.
- I'm what?

- [whistle blows]
- Gail.

Gail, what are you doing? What's wrong?

What? Gail? Gail, what is it?

- Are you still gonna give me a lift home?
- [engine starts]

What are you looking at me like that for?

[mob chattering]

[mob member] That's him! Over there,
with the whistle. That's him! Get him!

Oh, shit!

Help! Help, help! Call the police!

Mrs. Nozik, I went to school
with your son!

Mrs. Skouras! Mom!
I mean, Mom! Mom, it's me! I can't --

Oh, goddamn it!

[ice cream truck jingle playing]

[mob shouting]

[person 1 ] You're so stupid!
Oh, come on! Cut it out!

- [person 2 screams]
- [person 1 ] Oh! Oh! No!

[person 1 screams]

I'll probably get blamed for that.

What do you want from me?
What have I done?

I'm just a word processor,
for Christ's sake!

Excuse me. Hi.

I wonder, would you...

No, it's okay.

Would you help me?
Would you please help me?

What do you want me to do?

Where do you live? Can you take me --
Can you take me home?

Because there's certain things
that I, you know, I-I-I will not do.

I'm telling you in advance.

[Paul] Oh.

Oh. [chuckles]

Uh... [sighs]

L-I-I really have to tell you something
before we start.

Uh, I have never done this
with a man before.

And I -- I'm a little bit nervous.
[chuckles]

Listen, can I...

Can I use your telephone?

Sure, it's, um...

[Paul] I see it. That's great.

- Operator.
- Get me the police, please. Right away.

Just a minute.

[line ringing]

[officer] Twelfth Precinct, Fitzgerald.

Yes, officer. Thank God. Okay.

My name is Paul Hackett. I'm in SoHo.
I don't know the exact location.

I'm being persecuted by a vigilante mob.

- I'm sure you're aware of their actions.
- Yeah, right.

Now, I have every reason in the world
to believe

that my life
is in serious, serious danger.

Now, evidently,
there's a series o-of robberies

that are -- that are being conducted
I-I-in this neighborhood.

- Get some sleep, buddy.
- [phone hangs up]

- And -- Hello? Hello?
- [dial tone]

Hello? Oh!

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow!

I don't believe you...

Oh, my...

[Paul sighs]

I'm sorry. I...

I wonder...

Do you think I could just crash out
on your couch here for a couple hours?

I am just beat.

- Why don't you just go home?
- Pal...

I've been asking myself that one
all night long.

So? So, what happened? Why can't you?

All right.

I met this girl tonight, okay,
in a coffee shop.

She gave me her phone number.
So when I got home, I gave her a call.

She said to come on over.

Now, in the cab on the way down here,
all my money flew out the window.

Then I got to know this girl

and I didn't really
get along with her that well.

It didn't really work out, so I left.

I tried to take a subway tonight,
but the fare went up.

- Did you know that? That the fare went up?
- Yes.

You knew that? I didn't know that.
I didn't know anything about that.

So I haven't got enough money to get home,
until I meet this bartender,

a really nice guy who wanted
to lend me the money.

I mean, he really wanted
to give me the money but...

I mean, they'd actually purchased
this piece of work here.

I didn't know that.
I didn't know anything about that.

Now, she's also pissed off at me,
and for this, I don't blame her at all,

for the way I treated her friend,
and it was inexcusable.

So I marched right in there to apologize,
but she'd already killed herself.

I was too late. So I remember then...

And he was just about to give me the money
when all of a sudden, his phone rang.

His girlfriend killed herself tonight.

Huh? Is that a coincidence? No.

Because the same girl
who I came downtown to see was dead too.

That's because they're the same person!
They're both dead!

I couldn't believe that!

Now, he didn't know that I knew that
I came down to, you know, his girlfriend,

'cause he would have --
he would have taken my face,

and he would have --
he would have just smashed it!

Luckily, there was this girl who was there

who witnessed the whole thing,
who let me use her phone.

Really nice about it too.
Let me use the phone. That was it.

Just use it. Pick it up and put it down.
Pick it up and put it down.

She's the one in the Mister Softee
ice cream truck who's trying to kill me!

They're all trying to kill me!

I mean, I just wanted to leave, you know,
my apartment, maybe meet a nice girl.

And now I've gotta die for it, you know?

[bicycle squeaking]

Oh! That's the girl. That is Julie.

That's her. That's the girl. Look.

Julie! Julie! Julie, it's me!

What are you doing? Come here.

Oh, God. That's the one.
That's the one. Unbelievable.

Oh.

Oh.

No.

Ohh...

[ice cream truck jingle playing]

- [mob member 1 ] That's him!
- [mob member 2] Hey!

[panting]

What's the matter with you?

You gotta help me. You've gotta help me.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Get a hold of yourself, okay?

Robbie, can you get a glass of water
for him?

You gotta tell them.
Tell them. It's not my fault.

I didn't do it. I didn't do it.

You gotta make things
a little clearer to me, pal, okay?

I just got back from the morgue.
I'm not thinking too straight either.

Listen to me. There's an angry mob
out there and they want to kill me

because they think I'm robbing apartments.

I had the keys to your apartment,
I didn't rob you, did I?

I could've robbed you blind,
but I didn't because I'm not a thief.

I'm not a thief. Right?

I'm not a thief.

All right. All right, stay here.

Wait! Where are you going?
Where are you going?

- To get your keys.
- Okay.

Thank you. Thank you.

Go ahead. Go ahead. I'll be right here.

- Just relax.
- I will, I will. Sorry.

I can't -- [pants]

[door opens]

Thanks.

[door closes]

[Paul] Oh, God.

[ice cream truck jingle plays]

[mob chattering]

[no audible dialogue]

- [Gail] He's in here!
- [mob member] Come on, guys!

[panting]

What can I do for you?

- Why so empty?
- Invitation only.

Oh.

Then where is everybody?

Beats me. Must have stayed home.

Who's she?

Oh, that's June. She's always here.

Usually nobody notices her.

If you're interested, you better hurry.
I'm closing up in a few minutes.

[water running]

["Is That All There ls?" playing]

♪ I remember when I was a little girl ♪

♪ Our house caught on fire ♪

♪ I'll never forget the look
On my father's face ♪

♪ As he gathered me up in his arms ♪

♪ And raced through the burning building
Onto the pavement ♪

♪ And I stood there
Shivering in my pajamas ♪

♪ And watched the whole world
Go up in flames ♪

♪ And when it was all over
I said to myself ♪

♪ "Is that all there is to a fire?" ♪

♪ Is that all there is? ♪

♪ Is that all there is? ♪

♪ If that's all there is, my friends ♪

♪ Then let's keep dancing... ♪

Excuse me, miss. I...

I couldn't help noticing you
and I... I wondered...

would you, uh...

care to, uh...

join me for a drink?

Just...

[sighs] Just talking?

I'm having a really...

really bad night and, um...

[sighs] I can't seem to find anyone
who just...

who just will sit with me for just...

Without yelling at me
or something, you know?

[song continues playing]

[sighs] I obviously wouldn't approach you
in this state...

were I not so unusually...

intrigued.

Well...

there.

♪ If that's all there is, my friends ♪

♪ Then let's keep dancing ♪

Bared my soul to you.

♪ Let's break out the booze ♪

♪ And have ♪

- May I?
- ♪ A ball ♪

♪ if that's all ♪

♪ There is ♪

♪ And then I fell in love ♪

♪ With the most wonderful boy
In the world ♪

♪ We'd take long walks
Down by the river ♪

- ♪ Or just spend hours ♪
- [knocking]

♪ Gazing into each other's eyes ♪

♪ We were so very much in love ♪

- [knocking continues]
- ♪ And then one day, he went away ♪

♪ And I thought I'd die, but I didn't ♪

[mob shouting outside]

♪ And when I didn't, I said to myself ♪

- Why are you doing this?
- What?

♪ Is that all there is to love? ♪

- [song continues playing]
- You flirt with me.

You share your cigarette with me.

You dance with me.

You're nice to me.

[shouting outside continues]

Why are you doing this?

I want...

to live.

Okay, sorry, folks. Closing up.

- I just...
- [bartender] Time to go home.

...want...

to live.

Live.

♪ Is that all there is? ♪

♪ Is that all there is? ♪

Come downstairs with me, Paul.

♪ If that's all there is, my friends ♪

Come on.

♪ Then let's keep dancing ♪

♪ Let's break out the booze ♪

♪ And have a ball ♪

♪ if that's all ♪

♪ There is ♪

♪ I know what you must be
Saying to yourselves ♪

♪ "if that's the way she feels about it ♪

♪ Why doesn't she just end it all?" ♪

♪ Oh, no, not me ♪

♪ I'm not ready
For that final disappointment ♪

♪ 'Cause I know just as well
As I'm standing here talking to you ♪

♪ That when that final moment comes
And I'm breathing my last breath ♪

♪ I'll be saying to myself, is th -- ♪

- [loud banging]
- Oh, Jesus!

- Oh, they got in!
- What is it?

Look, lady, I have to tell you something.
I'm in big trouble.

Those people up there,
they want to kill me!

- Is there another way out of here?
- No!

- Is there another way out of here?
- No!

- Aha! What is this?
- No, don't go in there!

- Oh, what's this?
- No, don't touch that!

No, don't touch that vat!

- Oh, God.
- [Paul groaning]

- Come with me, Paul.
- What?

Come with me. Come on.

Yeah, I know. You're closed,
and you want to go home.

I tell you, it's only gonna take a minute.

I'm telling you no one's in here.

Can you believe this?
You cannot reason with this man.

- [all shouting]
- Okay, relax! Hold on!

Don't move. I don't want to stick you
with this stuff. Okay.

I just gotta put this piece here.

- [Gail] Hold up! No! Hold up!
- [shouting stops]

Do you at all sense the pressure here?

Not to worry.

This is very good for the pores.

[Gail] Come on! It's a total search!

All right. Good.

No, no, no!

All right. Now, pick this up.

- [bartender] Hey.
- Where does this lead to?

No. It's a private apartment.

- Fine. Knock on the door.
- No, wait, wait.

I'll knock.

June? June?

Yeah, what is it?

Sorry to bother you,
but there's some people up here

wanna look around your place.

Something about a robbery.

Well, I'm working!
Can't you see I'm working?

- I know. I'm sorry. They don't --
- [Gail] Tough titty.

[bartender] Wait!

- Excuse me.
- Sorry.

Excuse me. Have you seen this guy?

Doesn't look so hard.

- Is there another way out of here?
- No. That's it.

[Gail] All right, we're moving out!

Come on.

We're sorry we disturbed you, lady,
but we were sure that...

Okay, let's boot it!

Wasting time here.

[door slams]

- It's okay. They're gone.
- Oh, great. Great.

Okay, will you let me
out of this thing now?

No, you're safe like this.
They could still come back.

Look, lady, you've been great.
Really terrific.

But can you let me out of here?

Listen, you know,
I'm involved in this too now.

I gotta keep working on you.
They could still come back.

Lady, let me out of this thing. Now!

- Do you hear me? Let me out --
- Shh! Shh!

Okay, that's it.

I just wanna go upstairs
and check and see if they're still there.

Be right back.

[clanging]

[metal scraping]

[Pepe whispers] Come on.

[laughs] Didn't I tell you, man?

Check it out!

Check it out, huh?

Oh, man, this is junk!

What are you talking about, junk, man?
This is antiques, man. This is old.

It's plastic.

Hey, let's call it a night, man.
We got enough stuff already.

Cabrón!

[laughs] It's my sculpture!

[Pepe] Hey, man, be careful with it, huh?
Okay. All right.

[Neil] Hey, man, is it worth
taking this thing?

What, are you crazy, man? This is art.

Well, art sure is ugly, man.

Hey, that's how much you know, man.
You know?

The uglier the art, the more it's worth.

- [Neil] This must be worth a fortune, man.
- That's right.

- It's by that famous guy, Segal.
- Yeah?

Yeah, you seen him.
He's on the Carson show, man.

- Plays the banjo all the time.
- No, I never watch Carson.

Yeah, well, that's how much
you know about art.

Ah, let's get home.

I don't know, man.
I'd take a stereo any day.

Yeah, what do you know, man?
A stereo's a stereo. Art is forever.

[beeps]