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1
00:00:01,860 --> 00:00:04,799
This programme contains some
strong language
2
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:07,714
Where is the address? Rest assured,
I am working on it.
3
00:00:07,715 --> 00:00:09,474
You became a man today. Respect.
4
00:00:11,075 --> 00:00:12,599
It's Appraisal, bruv!
5
00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:16,534
He's just been sitting in his
room being weird with a cat.
6
00:00:16,535 --> 00:00:18,219
Wipe your own arse!
7
00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:20,914
Hi, Jackie. Summer's been making
some cakes, Sarah.
8
00:00:20,915 --> 00:00:22,399
They're two quid.
9
00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:25,239
I'm ringing because I
think we may have your cat.
10
00:00:25,540 --> 00:00:30,294
I wondered if you would look after
Charlie Littlepockets for me.
11
00:00:30,295 --> 00:00:34,920
It's not just A gun,
Leanne. I think it's THE gun.
12
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:42,074
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13
00:00:51,180 --> 00:00:54,134
Adolf Eichmann, one of
the most appalling
14
00:00:54,135 --> 00:00:55,819
members of the Nazi regime,
15
00:00:55,820 --> 00:00:59,554
lived comfortably enough in
South America until 1960,
16
00:00:59,555 --> 00:01:03,520
when he was captured, and quite
rightly, by the Israelis.
17
00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:07,739
Now, nobody's saying
it's OK to be a Nazi -
18
00:01:07,740 --> 00:01:10,694
quite the opposite -
but from a wit-pro point of view,
19
00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:13,579
you have to be impressed
by the way that Eichmann,
20
00:01:13,580 --> 00:01:16,739
and those like him, managed to live
undercover for so long.
21
00:01:16,740 --> 00:01:20,920
So, in today's session, we're going
to hold our noses and ask...
22
00:01:59,260 --> 00:02:03,374
I'm Detective Wilton, Mrs Pugh.
This is my colleague, PC Ferns.
23
00:02:03,375 --> 00:02:05,440
We spoke earlier about the cat.
24
00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:15,640
So, what makes you
think it's THE gun?
25
00:02:17,540 --> 00:02:21,734
Think about it. It makes sense.
Patrick knows the killer.
26
00:02:21,735 --> 00:02:24,854
Maybe it's his cousin,
an old friend, whatever...
27
00:02:24,855 --> 00:02:28,379
But Patrick doesn't
live in Bristol
28
00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:30,779
and, as far as we know,
is a student nurse
29
00:02:30,780 --> 00:02:33,934
with no direct involvement
in criminal activity.
30
00:02:33,935 --> 00:02:37,054
So, you're saying they
asked him to hide it?
31
00:02:37,055 --> 00:02:38,219
I bet that's it.
32
00:02:38,220 --> 00:02:41,574
Well, he is loyal.
I mean, look how he phoned me back.
33
00:02:41,575 --> 00:02:44,139
But then, he panics.
34
00:02:44,140 --> 00:02:46,294
Maybe the police have
been sniffing around?
35
00:02:46,295 --> 00:02:48,411
Who does he trust to
look after it?
36
00:02:48,412 --> 00:02:50,459
Someone the police don't know about.
37
00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:53,454
Someone he's had an intimate,
though - crucially - fleeting...
38
00:02:53,455 --> 00:02:56,214
But no less spiritually
significant... encounter with.
39
00:02:56,215 --> 00:02:57,880
BOTH: Mystique!
40
00:02:59,820 --> 00:03:03,374
So, what do we do? Well, we've got to take
this sucker to the nearest police station.
41
00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:07,134
Tell the police everything.
They'll sort this out.
42
00:03:07,135 --> 00:03:08,560
Phew.
43
00:03:16,580 --> 00:03:19,019
Vonne, darling?
44
00:03:19,020 --> 00:03:24,019
I just wanted to say I'm off now.
I'm... going.
45
00:03:24,020 --> 00:03:27,694
Number 32's cat.
It's been all over the bloody lawn.
46
00:03:27,695 --> 00:03:30,414
So, I just wanted to say goodbye.
47
00:03:30,415 --> 00:03:31,819
Goodbye, darling.
48
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:34,019
I thought you said you'd
put something down for it.
49
00:03:34,020 --> 00:03:37,534
Well, it's not bloody worked!
It's attracted it, if anything.
50
00:03:37,535 --> 00:03:40,240
It's like a feline
cesspit out there.
51
00:03:40,980 --> 00:03:43,520
Take care of yourself, darling. I...
52
00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:46,280
I love you...
53
00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:49,339
...very much.
54
00:03:49,340 --> 00:03:53,200
It's worse than dogs.
At least a dog's ashamed of it.
55
00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:09,354
Gareth! What?!
56
00:04:09,355 --> 00:04:11,160
Get down here now!
57
00:04:15,180 --> 00:04:16,299
Sorry, I just...
58
00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:20,534
I don't understand why a lost cat
would be a police matter.
59
00:04:20,535 --> 00:04:21,979
Why?
60
00:04:21,980 --> 00:04:24,854
Never mind why,
just get your arse down here!
61
00:04:24,855 --> 00:04:28,271
The cat belonged
to Mrs Gladys Hobbs,
62
00:04:28,272 --> 00:04:31,180
who, very sadly, was murdered. Shot.
63
00:04:31,181 --> 00:04:34,019
That's why this is a police matter.
64
00:04:34,020 --> 00:04:36,334
We'd like to ask Gareth
one or two questions,
65
00:04:36,335 --> 00:04:38,880
about where he found it,
that sort of thing.
66
00:04:41,380 --> 00:04:44,259
Police here, Gaz.
Want to talk to you.
67
00:04:44,260 --> 00:04:47,214
I'm DC Wilton, Gareth. I just...
FERNS CLEARS HIS THROAT
68
00:04:47,215 --> 00:04:49,139
This is my colleague, PC Ferns.
69
00:04:49,140 --> 00:04:51,374
Mum tells me you've
gone and got yourself a cat.
70
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,294
I just wondered how that came about.
71
00:04:53,295 --> 00:04:54,871
Found it.
72
00:04:54,872 --> 00:04:56,379
Round here?
73
00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:58,179
So, far away from its home?
74
00:04:58,180 --> 00:05:00,814
It's not that far away.
It's only, like, three streets.
75
00:05:00,815 --> 00:05:03,840
And how would you know
where its home is, Gareth?
76
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:08,254
I'd like to bring Gareth down
to the station,
77
00:05:08,255 --> 00:05:09,971
if you don't mind, Mrs Pugh?
78
00:05:09,972 --> 00:05:11,920
To make a formal statement.
79
00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:17,214
Right, stick the gun in your bag.
80
00:05:17,215 --> 00:05:19,360
Get your coat on. Let's go.
81
00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:22,454
You know, recovering the
murder weapon would be a
82
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:23,814
massive part of the case.
83
00:05:23,815 --> 00:05:25,139
Like Cluedo.
84
00:05:25,140 --> 00:05:27,354
In fact, it might even
be case closed.
85
00:05:27,355 --> 00:05:29,261
This whole nightmare could be over.
86
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,395
We could be home this time tomorrow.
87
00:05:31,396 --> 00:05:33,494
Do you think?
Oh, my God! My new flat!
88
00:05:33,495 --> 00:05:36,219
I could be in there by next week.
89
00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:38,774
In fact, I should really start
thinking about furniture.
90
00:05:38,775 --> 00:05:40,259
Question for you -
91
00:05:40,260 --> 00:05:44,680
futons - thrifty chic or shit?
92
00:05:45,980 --> 00:05:47,139
What are you doing?
93
00:05:47,140 --> 00:05:50,419
Er, just putting a wash on. Colours.
What?
94
00:05:50,420 --> 00:05:53,094
So, it does while we're out,
cos we're going to be packing.
95
00:05:53,095 --> 00:05:55,560
Well, come on, then.
I know, I'm just...
96
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,280
Right, let's do this.
97
00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:13,454
Friend of mine said you should
do it professionally. Do what?
98
00:06:13,455 --> 00:06:16,979
Open a sorbet shop. Kiosk.
99
00:06:16,980 --> 00:06:19,094
But then it becomes like a job,
doesn't it?
100
00:06:19,095 --> 00:06:20,920
Takes all the joy out of it.
101
00:06:25,020 --> 00:06:29,480
No, making sorbet should
never be a drudge.
102
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,440
Doesn't have to be. It's so easy.
103
00:06:51,580 --> 00:06:53,819
Finally! 20 minutes late.
104
00:06:53,820 --> 00:06:56,894
Hello there, gents.
Where's this address?
105
00:06:56,895 --> 00:07:00,019
I have in my hand a piece of paper,
106
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:03,294
and I think you'll be rather pleased
with its contents.
107
00:07:03,295 --> 00:07:06,534
Yes, it was difficult to get hold
of, but I have my ways.
108
00:07:06,535 --> 00:07:10,494
And, after all,
when have I ever let you down?
109
00:07:10,495 --> 00:07:13,400
I believe that's what you require.
110
00:07:17,660 --> 00:07:18,859
Without condoning it,
111
00:07:18,860 --> 00:07:21,194
I understand you've got
to do what you've got to do.
112
00:07:21,195 --> 00:07:23,459
However, I'd make a late plea
for the executions
113
00:07:23,460 --> 00:07:26,774
to be as swift and painless as
possible. Now, if you'll excuse me,
114
00:07:26,775 --> 00:07:29,174
I've got a whole heap of paperwork
back at the station
115
00:07:29,175 --> 00:07:30,654
that ain't going to do itself.
116
00:07:30,655 --> 00:07:32,539
Sit down.
117
00:07:32,540 --> 00:07:34,360
You ain't going anywhere.
118
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:39,054
Say again? You're not going anywhere
until I get the call that it's done.
119
00:07:39,055 --> 00:07:42,739
I'm meant to be at work.
I'm already late.
120
00:07:42,740 --> 00:07:45,534
I've given you the address.
What's the problem?
121
00:07:45,535 --> 00:07:47,299
The problem is, Sergeant,
122
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,659
I've got to check that it's legit.
123
00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:52,734
Make sure you're not
slipping us a fake,
124
00:07:52,735 --> 00:07:55,000
and doing a runner to a hot country.
125
00:07:57,340 --> 00:07:59,054
Ah, you know what?
126
00:07:59,055 --> 00:08:00,699
Can I just...?
127
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:05,400
In that spirit, let me just
double-check for you.
128
00:08:06,980 --> 00:08:09,214
Don't want to waste your time,
129
00:08:09,215 --> 00:08:11,094
going all over the place,
130
00:08:11,095 --> 00:08:13,899
if I've erred.
131
00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:16,894
Ah, would you look at that?
132
00:08:16,895 --> 00:08:18,699
My bad, as they say.
133
00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:22,614
Honestly,
I'm such a bloody... sausage.
134
00:08:22,615 --> 00:08:25,059
Early-onset Alzheimer's, I swear.
135
00:08:25,060 --> 00:08:27,179
No, nothing to joke about.
Terrible condition.
136
00:08:27,180 --> 00:08:29,694
A group of us actually did a
triathlon earlier in the year
137
00:08:29,695 --> 00:08:32,520
to try and raise...
Give us the fucking address.
138
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,120
Yeah.
139
00:08:49,140 --> 00:08:51,520
ENGINE STARTS
140
00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:03,219
Ah, hi.
141
00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:06,294
Not sure what the protocol is
for this sort of thing,
142
00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:09,280
but, um, we need to hand
in a murder weapon.
143
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:12,739
Right, OK.
144
00:09:12,740 --> 00:09:15,099
We're not murderers, just FYI.
145
00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:17,334
Oh, no. God, no. We're not
murderers, far from it.
146
00:09:17,335 --> 00:09:18,779
I'm a weekday vegetarian.
147
00:09:18,780 --> 00:09:20,779
But, we do have strong
cause to believe that
148
00:09:20,780 --> 00:09:24,200
what's in this bag was used to
commit a gangland execution.
149
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:32,974
And which is the offending item?
The troll thingy or the... tampon?
150
00:09:32,975 --> 00:09:35,974
Sorry, sorry. It was in here.
151
00:09:35,975 --> 00:09:39,379
Aaaah, I'm such a silly.
152
00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:41,179
I just remembered I took it out.
153
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,339
Rhons, I was going to wrap it
in a sandwich bag,
154
00:09:43,340 --> 00:09:46,694
but then we didn't have any.
So, then I thought, "Clingfilm?"
155
00:09:46,695 --> 00:09:49,419
But seems a bit weird.
156
00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:52,360
It's a bit kinky, clingfilm,
isn't it?
157
00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:56,334
We'll be back. With a murder weapon.
158
00:09:56,335 --> 00:09:57,779
Within the hour.
159
00:09:57,780 --> 00:09:59,854
Or it could be tomorrow.
It's getting on a bit.
160
00:09:59,855 --> 00:10:03,240
Maybe Monday, if you're not open.
OK, bye.
161
00:10:05,460 --> 00:10:06,779
You did that on purpose.
162
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:09,454
I didn't. I told you I wanted to put
it in a sandwich bag.
163
00:10:09,455 --> 00:10:11,579
I thought it might be helpful
if we labelled it.
164
00:10:11,580 --> 00:10:14,614
Patrick, that's it, isn't it?
You're trying to protect Patrick.
165
00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,814
No. So, you're admitting
you did do it?
166
00:10:16,815 --> 00:10:18,671
Yes. OK, so, I'm sorry.
167
00:10:18,672 --> 00:10:20,760
But it's not about that.
168
00:10:23,620 --> 00:10:24,960
I just...
169
00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:27,240
I just panicked because...
170
00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:31,374
...all of a sudden, it's like this
was going to end.
171
00:10:31,375 --> 00:10:33,011
Yeah. So?
172
00:10:33,012 --> 00:10:34,880
I mean...
173
00:10:36,340 --> 00:10:37,740
...us living together.
174
00:10:39,380 --> 00:10:41,579
Oh. And I just thought, you know,
175
00:10:41,580 --> 00:10:44,294
would it hurt if we handed it in
tomorrow?
176
00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:46,374
Like, one last night together.
177
00:10:46,375 --> 00:10:47,659
Get a takeaway.
178
00:10:47,660 --> 00:10:50,134
It's judges' houses on X Factor.
179
00:10:50,135 --> 00:10:51,800
Mystique and Sarah Penn.
180
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:54,960
Leanne and Rhona.
181
00:10:56,700 --> 00:11:00,040
OK. I guess one more night
doesn't hurt.
182
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:04,614
And it would be less embarrassing to
deal with a different officer
183
00:11:04,615 --> 00:11:05,920
when we go back.
184
00:11:07,420 --> 00:11:09,680
Can we wear pyjamas? Yes.
185
00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:12,819
Duvet? No.
186
00:11:12,820 --> 00:11:14,894
SHE WHINES LIKE A PUPPY
187
00:11:14,895 --> 00:11:17,200
Oh, go on, then. Yes!
188
00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:23,960
I don't need the toilet.
189
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:29,659
What? I'm saying, I don't need
the toilet...
190
00:11:29,660 --> 00:11:32,294
Why are you telling me you don't
need the toilet?
191
00:11:32,295 --> 00:11:33,795
No, I'm just thinking...
192
00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:37,320
...I don't need the toilet NOW...
193
00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:42,040
...but, if I do...
194
00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:45,600
...what should I...?
195
00:11:48,260 --> 00:11:49,600
Piss on a tree.
196
00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:52,779
Yeah...
197
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:56,000
but, what if it's...
198
00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:58,720
...the other one?
199
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:51,574
Right, if you're ready, then?
200
00:12:51,575 --> 00:12:53,331
Can I have a coffee?
201
00:12:53,332 --> 00:12:55,019
No. I want a coffee.
202
00:12:55,020 --> 00:12:57,054
We can get you a...
He don't drink coffee.
203
00:12:57,055 --> 00:12:58,934
You don't know everything about me.
204
00:12:58,935 --> 00:13:00,939
Yeah, so I'm finding out.
205
00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:02,694
Don't make it, he'll only leave it.
206
00:13:02,695 --> 00:13:04,779
We've got a Capri-Sun.
207
00:13:04,780 --> 00:13:07,414
Oh, yeah, he'll have one of those,
yeah.
208
00:13:07,415 --> 00:13:08,720
Blackcurrant.
209
00:13:12,060 --> 00:13:15,254
Right, Gareth. If you'd like to tell
me, in your own words,
210
00:13:15,255 --> 00:13:17,600
how you came to have this cat.
211
00:13:20,340 --> 00:13:23,760
So, I heard there was this murder...
212
00:13:24,860 --> 00:13:27,680
...and I went to have a look.
213
00:13:29,020 --> 00:13:31,480
You know, in the house.
214
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:35,400
See if I could see the body.
215
00:13:36,980 --> 00:13:38,530
And there was this cat...
216
00:13:39,780 --> 00:13:43,080
...and it looked hungry
and I thought, "Well...
217
00:13:46,220 --> 00:13:49,480
".. she's not going to want it
if she's dead, is she?"
218
00:13:52,740 --> 00:13:54,880
Right. So, are we done, then?
219
00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:58,640
There you are.
220
00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:03,200
There's a Texaco garage about
half a mile from here.
221
00:14:06,060 --> 00:14:11,080
I humbly submit we go over there
and buy a puzzle book.
222
00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:15,794
RADIO: '67969 from 53549.
223
00:14:15,795 --> 00:14:19,120
'67969 from 53549. Over. '
224
00:14:20,540 --> 00:14:23,040
I should really probably
answer that.
225
00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:25,400
Stay where you are.
226
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:33,174
I mean, yeah, I think Simon's house
would be more luxurious
227
00:14:33,175 --> 00:14:36,534
but I think Cheryl's house would be
a home, you know?
228
00:14:36,535 --> 00:14:37,971
STOMACH GROWLS
229
00:14:37,972 --> 00:14:39,640
What's up?
230
00:14:40,860 --> 00:14:43,320
I don't feel so good.
231
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:47,174
Washes all the time.
Tongue's never off his bollocks.
232
00:14:47,175 --> 00:14:48,480
Get out.
233
00:14:49,780 --> 00:14:51,440
SHE COUGHS
234
00:14:52,580 --> 00:14:55,400
Think it might have been
something I ate.
235
00:14:56,340 --> 00:14:58,259
In we go, please.
236
00:14:58,260 --> 00:15:00,134
Please. Leanne, can you hurry up?
237
00:15:00,135 --> 00:15:01,939
Time's fast becoming my enemy.
238
00:15:01,940 --> 00:15:05,779
I'm trying. I need facilities
and I need them now.
239
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:09,574
Is it number twos? Yes, OK?
Now, can you please just...? Huh!
240
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:10,899
Uh-oh.
241
00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:13,614
Oh, my God. Ooh, do you want to go
outside in the storm drain?
242
00:15:13,615 --> 00:15:16,054
I can stand in front of you and tell
people not to look.
243
00:15:16,055 --> 00:15:18,000
No! God.
244
00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:21,754
CRASHING
245
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:24,440
SHE PANTS
246
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:27,960
(Or we could do that...)
247
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:32,520
Let's go. Gareth?
248
00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:39,354
If you decided there was anything
more you'd like to tell us,
249
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:43,094
maybe something you didn't mention
because, I don't know,
250
00:15:43,095 --> 00:15:44,880
you're afraid of someone...
251
00:15:46,140 --> 00:15:49,294
...even if you've done something bad,
if you tell us about these people,
252
00:15:49,295 --> 00:15:53,040
we can look after you. Make sure you
and your mum are all right.
253
00:15:55,460 --> 00:15:57,960
Just something for you
to think about.
254
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:06,160
Come on, then.
255
00:16:11,580 --> 00:16:14,454
RADIO: '67969 from 53549.
256
00:16:14,455 --> 00:16:17,259
'67969 from 53549. Over. '
257
00:16:17,260 --> 00:16:19,254
I can tell them I'm busy,
but if I don't answer,
258
00:16:19,255 --> 00:16:21,600
they'll send a car out.
It's procedure.
259
00:16:23,140 --> 00:16:24,880
They track the cars by GPS.
260
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:34,080
Watch your mouth. No dicking about.
261
00:16:48,580 --> 00:16:53,014
53549, this is 67969.
262
00:16:53,015 --> 00:16:54,659
'53549, over. '
263
00:16:54,660 --> 00:16:56,299
Sorry about that, Chris.
264
00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:59,294
I was just dropping the kids
off at the pool.
265
00:16:59,295 --> 00:17:01,294
HE CHUCKLES
266
00:17:01,295 --> 00:17:03,120
Argh!
267
00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:07,200
Ooh, fuck!
268
00:17:08,540 --> 00:17:10,494
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
269
00:17:10,495 --> 00:17:12,471
Argh!
270
00:17:12,472 --> 00:17:14,680
HE PANTS
271
00:17:32,740 --> 00:17:34,294
GUNSHOT
272
00:17:34,295 --> 00:17:36,080
COCKS GUN
273
00:17:37,580 --> 00:17:39,320
CRASHING
274
00:17:42,300 --> 00:17:45,560
'Dropping the kids off, Sarge.
Very good.
275
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:51,054
'I've got a brown dog scratching
at the back door,
276
00:17:51,055 --> 00:17:52,374
'if you know what I mean. '
277
00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,720
ENGINE REVS
278
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,414
Uh...
RUMBLING
279
00:17:58,415 --> 00:18:00,179
HE PANTS
280
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:03,760
'.. Planting a steaming bouquet
of brown roses... '
281
00:18:04,860 --> 00:18:06,299
RUMBLING
282
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:10,080
'I'm stocking the pond
with brown trout?
283
00:18:13,980 --> 00:18:16,739
RUMBLING
284
00:18:16,740 --> 00:18:22,094
'You could say, "I was building a
log cabin, if you catch my drift. "
285
00:18:22,095 --> 00:18:25,894
'Introducing the toilet
to the bald man with the cigar. '
286
00:18:25,895 --> 00:18:29,080
HE PANTS
287
00:18:42,820 --> 00:18:44,499
All done?
288
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:46,194
Bloody Jackie. This is her fault.
289
00:18:46,195 --> 00:18:47,819
I told you, didn't I? You do not
290
00:18:47,820 --> 00:18:49,974
muck around with
amateur baked goods.
291
00:18:49,975 --> 00:18:52,899
Ohh, I wish I had the shits, too.
292
00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:55,574
Then we could be shit buddies
and go in together.
293
00:18:55,575 --> 00:18:57,619
Now, erm,
294
00:18:57,620 --> 00:19:00,620
I need to tell you something.
Please don't shout at me.
295
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:04,174
It's about where the gun is.
296
00:19:04,175 --> 00:19:05,520
Where is it?
297
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:12,294
Sorry. I hope it hasn't washed off
the fingerprints or anything.
298
00:19:12,295 --> 00:19:14,520
It is on eco, so, fingers crossed.
299
00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:18,099
I'm not going to lie to you, Leanne,
300
00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:21,880
it's not ideal to give vital
evidence a 90-minute bath...
301
00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:24,994
...but the important thing is that
we've got it.
302
00:19:24,995 --> 00:19:27,134
Oh, we have to wait until
the end of the cycle.
303
00:19:27,135 --> 00:19:29,531
There's another 15 minutes on it.
304
00:19:29,532 --> 00:19:32,160
STOMACH GRUMBLES
Oh. Uh-oh, more?
305
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:36,174
Oh, my God! I've just realised
that's why they call it the runs.
306
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:39,254
No, it's because it's runny!
307
00:19:39,255 --> 00:19:40,560
Hm.
308
00:19:48,860 --> 00:19:51,120
HE KNOCKS
309
00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:56,299
All right?
310
00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:58,680
You coming out? Ah...
311
00:19:59,540 --> 00:20:02,534
...can't, mate.
I'm up to my eyeballs on GTA.
312
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,939
Come on, mate. Get out the house.
313
00:20:04,940 --> 00:20:07,934
You need some air, you're looking
pale as fuck, mate.
314
00:20:07,935 --> 00:20:09,240
Serious.
315
00:20:16,180 --> 00:20:19,694
Well, that sounds like a plausible
story to me, Wilton.
316
00:20:19,695 --> 00:20:22,195
I just feel there's
more he's not telling us.
317
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:25,534
I'd like to put surveillance on him
for a few days.
318
00:20:25,535 --> 00:20:28,059
Yeah, sure. Fill your boots.
319
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,974
Just remember to stick
an IOU in petty cash,
320
00:20:30,975 --> 00:20:32,939
£10,000 for overtime.
321
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:35,459
Colin, just listen.
No, you listen, Wilton.
322
00:20:35,460 --> 00:20:39,334
I just had the Chief Inspector close
to tears because we're struggling
323
00:20:39,335 --> 00:20:42,734
to come up with the budget for
the police-dog road-show.
324
00:20:42,735 --> 00:20:45,379
Now, in what universe
am I going to magic money
325
00:20:45,380 --> 00:20:49,240
out of my arse to put eyes on some
kid because you've had a feeling?
326
00:21:09,660 --> 00:21:11,040
Rhons?
327
00:21:13,180 --> 00:21:16,274
Is now a bad time to discuss
takeaways?
328
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:19,041
Yes. Well, they will get busy
if we...
329
00:21:19,042 --> 00:21:22,040
PHONE RINGS
Oh, hold that thought.
330
00:21:23,620 --> 00:21:25,139
Hello?
331
00:21:25,140 --> 00:21:28,579
HEAVY BREATHING
Hello? 'Yes, er, hello. '
332
00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:32,974
This is a message for Misses
Leanne Stubbs and Rhona Fairburn.
333
00:21:32,975 --> 00:21:34,819
Oh, have we won something?
334
00:21:34,820 --> 00:21:37,000
I need you to listen carefully.
335
00:21:38,580 --> 00:21:41,539
Your location has been compromised.
336
00:21:41,540 --> 00:21:43,934
'You must leave the premises
immediately. '
337
00:21:43,935 --> 00:21:45,139
Sorry, who is this?
338
00:21:45,140 --> 00:21:47,414
There is a mole in the police.
339
00:21:47,415 --> 00:21:49,619
Your location has been disclosed
340
00:21:49,620 --> 00:21:52,534
'to your pursuants and you must
leave immediately.
341
00:21:52,535 --> 00:21:54,254
'Repeat, leave immediately.
342
00:21:54,255 --> 00:21:55,800
'I'm... '
343
00:21:56,620 --> 00:21:58,520
I'm sorry.
344
00:22:04,820 --> 00:22:07,280
Ooh, Toblerone!
345
00:22:09,540 --> 00:22:10,960
Got to be done.
346
00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:14,320
Shi-i-it!
347
00:22:17,140 --> 00:22:20,294
What am I supposed to be
looking for? Take your passport!
348
00:22:20,295 --> 00:22:23,360
Where's your passport! I can't find
my passport!
349
00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:26,960
Oh, shi-i-it!
350
00:22:28,420 --> 00:22:31,440
Just get a move...!
Found it, found it, found it!
351
00:22:34,060 --> 00:22:36,214
What are you doing?
Can't leave without the gun,
352
00:22:36,215 --> 00:22:37,299
that's our ticket home.
353
00:22:37,300 --> 00:22:40,134
There's five minutes left, Rhons,
we're going to have to leave it.
354
00:22:40,135 --> 00:22:43,040
We need it, Leanne!
Oh, fuck off.
355
00:22:44,700 --> 00:22:46,579
Rhons, go to the loo.
356
00:22:46,580 --> 00:22:48,760
Don't worry, I will get the gun.
357
00:22:51,060 --> 00:22:54,720
Right, I'm going to take you down.
358
00:23:01,420 --> 00:23:03,040
Oh, shit.
359
00:23:06,500 --> 00:23:09,000
Yeah, that's it. Nice.
360
00:23:11,060 --> 00:23:12,600
Ow!
361
00:23:16,260 --> 00:23:19,179
Ugh! You twat!
362
00:23:19,180 --> 00:23:20,579
How's it going, Leanne?
363
00:23:20,580 --> 00:23:25,480
All right. I'll say this, Hotpoint
know how to build a washing machine.
364
00:23:28,500 --> 00:23:31,000
Argh! Shit!
365
00:23:33,020 --> 00:23:35,774
Come on, have it, you bitch!
366
00:23:35,775 --> 00:23:37,531
Ahh-ah!
367
00:23:37,532 --> 00:23:39,520
Oww...!
368
00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:01,840
So, mate...
369
00:24:02,740 --> 00:24:04,240
...what's been going on?
370
00:24:05,700 --> 00:24:07,040
Just been chilling.
371
00:24:08,380 --> 00:24:13,374
So, there's nothing I need to know
about? You know,
372
00:24:13,375 --> 00:24:16,694
like, from a business point of view?
373
00:24:16,695 --> 00:24:18,000
Nah.
374
00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:20,640
Like what?
375
00:24:21,420 --> 00:24:24,120
Like, I don't know...
376
00:24:25,060 --> 00:24:28,400
...has anyone been round to speak
to you about anything?
377
00:24:29,660 --> 00:24:32,320
Nah. I'm dull as fuck, mate.
378
00:24:37,780 --> 00:24:39,579
I couldn't do it.
379
00:24:39,580 --> 00:24:41,320
WASHING MACHINE BEEPS
Oh!
380
00:24:46,420 --> 00:24:47,840
All right, come on.
381
00:24:55,860 --> 00:24:58,094
Rhona, what
are we going to do? Shh!
382
00:24:58,095 --> 00:25:00,059
STAIRS CREAK
383
00:25:00,060 --> 00:25:02,840
(Go back!)
LEANNE SQUEALS
384
00:25:16,060 --> 00:25:18,179
It's weird, mate, cos, er,
385
00:25:18,180 --> 00:25:22,160
I thought I saw the 5-0 outside
your house earlier.
386
00:25:24,180 --> 00:25:27,000
Oh, yeah, that.
387
00:25:28,900 --> 00:25:33,680
Yeah, they were giving my mum shit
again about not having a TV license.
388
00:25:35,020 --> 00:25:37,619
What, plain-clothes?
389
00:25:37,620 --> 00:25:41,299
SHE STIFLES HER BREATHING
390
00:25:41,300 --> 00:25:42,974
DOOR HANDLE RATTLES
LEANNE GASPS
391
00:25:42,975 --> 00:25:44,280
Shh!
392
00:25:45,460 --> 00:25:48,800
DOOR OPENS
FLOORBOARDS CREAK
393
00:26:00,700 --> 00:26:04,360
Yeah, mate. They take that shit
well seriously.
394
00:26:11,860 --> 00:26:13,379
THUMPING AT THE DOOR
395
00:26:13,380 --> 00:26:15,680
HANDLE CONTINUES TO RATTLE
396
00:26:25,860 --> 00:26:27,579
GUNSHOT
397
00:26:27,580 --> 00:26:29,480
GUNSHOT, THEY WHIMPER
398
00:26:30,980 --> 00:26:32,920
SLUMPING >
399
00:27:01,420 --> 00:27:03,920
(Oh, God...)
400
00:27:11,180 --> 00:27:13,960
Oh, bums.
400
00:27:14,305 --> 00:28:14,357
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