All language subtitles for Only Murders in the Building - 03x01 - The Show Must....ETHEL.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,312 CHARLES: Welcome to our killer reveal party, 2 00:00:03,313 --> 00:00:05,593 where we will reveal Bunny's killer. 3 00:00:05,594 --> 00:00:07,714 We've been on to you since this afternoon. 4 00:00:07,715 --> 00:00:09,550 I just wanted Cinda to notice me. 5 00:00:10,145 --> 00:00:13,596 CHARLES: With that, another mystery solved. Wow. 6 00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,343 - Two murders back-to-back. - Yep. 7 00:00:15,344 --> 00:00:16,765 You're actually renovating. 8 00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:20,228 - MABEL: Well, it is about time. - CHARLES: Hey, Joy. 9 00:00:20,416 --> 00:00:22,626 Are you asking me out on a date? 10 00:00:22,743 --> 00:00:23,994 Yes. 11 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:25,921 OLIVER: Broadway? 12 00:00:25,922 --> 00:00:28,110 I think I-I would be perfect for that. 13 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:29,655 And who's the star? 14 00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:31,492 [KNOCKING] Ben? 15 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,617 Everyone gets opening night jitters! 16 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:35,085 ♪ 17 00:00:35,086 --> 00:00:37,328 - I'm good! - Fasten your seat belts. 18 00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:39,248 [APPLAUSE] 19 00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:43,001 What turned me into a creature of the night? 20 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,562 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 21 00:00:44,563 --> 00:00:45,920 [THUD] 22 00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:47,798 - [AUDIENCE GASPING] - OLIVER: Somebody! Anybody! 23 00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,174 CHARLES: He's not moving! 24 00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,170 WOMAN: Ben! Call 911! 25 00:00:51,171 --> 00:00:53,679 You've gotta be fucking kidding me. 26 00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,806 ♪ 27 00:00:56,739 --> 00:00:59,742 [ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING] 28 00:00:59,743 --> 00:01:02,746 [AUDIENCE CHATTER] 29 00:01:03,548 --> 00:01:05,216 [CURTAINS CLICK, RATTLE] 30 00:01:05,309 --> 00:01:07,812 CHARLES: All the world's a stage 31 00:01:08,993 --> 00:01:11,249 - _ - and all the blah, blah, blah. 32 00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:13,250 We all know how that one goes. 33 00:01:13,489 --> 00:01:15,491 But if you are a theatrical type, 34 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,203 there's a good chance you became smitten 35 00:01:17,204 --> 00:01:18,956 at a very young age. 36 00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:24,876 ♪ The sweetest sounds I'll ever hear ♪ 37 00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:28,839 ♪ Are still inside my head ♪ 38 00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,340 CHARLES: Seeing the wonders of a life 39 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:33,427 you might be part of one day, 40 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,554 full of stories and experiences 41 00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:38,845 you can only dream about from the eighth row, 42 00:01:39,138 --> 00:01:41,783 behind two beehives in row seven. 43 00:01:41,784 --> 00:01:47,289 ♪ The most entrancing sight of all ♪ 44 00:01:47,290 --> 00:01:52,712 ♪ Is yet for me to see ♪ 45 00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:55,632 ♪ And the dearest love ♪ 46 00:01:55,633 --> 00:01:58,877 ♪ In all the world ♪ 47 00:01:58,878 --> 00:02:04,009 ♪ Is waiting somewhere for me ♪ 48 00:02:04,010 --> 00:02:06,392 ♪ Is waiting ♪ 49 00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:08,533 ♪ Somewhere ♪ 50 00:02:08,534 --> 00:02:13,157 ♪ Somewhere for me ♪ 51 00:02:13,158 --> 00:02:17,120 [ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES] 52 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,892 CHARLES: Once smitten though, 53 00:02:21,893 --> 00:02:23,895 then comes the work. 54 00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:26,646 Of classes and training... 55 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,065 ♪ 56 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,252 Of speech and technique... 57 00:02:31,299 --> 00:02:33,110 honing your craft, 58 00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:35,905 as you pound the pavement in New York City, 59 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:39,034 auditioning for anything and everything, 60 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:41,834 all in pursuit of that moment in the spotlight 61 00:02:41,842 --> 00:02:44,970 where you hope someone might see you, 62 00:02:44,971 --> 00:02:48,918 really see you, and say those magic words. 63 00:02:49,020 --> 00:02:51,230 "Where have you been?" 64 00:02:52,550 --> 00:02:56,054 But what if those magic words never come? 65 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:58,595 And it's only rejection, 66 00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:01,390 over and over again, 67 00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:03,241 year after year, 68 00:03:03,242 --> 00:03:05,953 and near miss after near miss, 69 00:03:05,954 --> 00:03:09,082 until you realize that near miss 70 00:03:09,083 --> 00:03:11,225 has become your life. 71 00:03:12,298 --> 00:03:16,218 How do you keep at it with any hope? 72 00:03:16,289 --> 00:03:18,458 ♪ 73 00:03:20,195 --> 00:03:22,159 CASTING DIRECTOR: Thank you, very nice. 74 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,204 So, someone's shown up 75 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,475 who's not on our list, maybe a walk-in. 76 00:03:27,785 --> 00:03:30,522 I do know her. She's capable, 77 00:03:30,523 --> 00:03:34,397 a little vanilla, but we've got about 10 minutes until lunch... 78 00:03:34,398 --> 00:03:35,941 Yeah, sure. [SNIFFS] 79 00:03:36,048 --> 00:03:37,800 Ready, Durkin, you still there? 80 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,970 - LORETTA DURKIN: Yes! - [SCRIPT RUSTLING] 81 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,139 Yes! Hi! 82 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,600 Oh, hi. I-I'm so sorry, I thought... 83 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,603 My agent assured me that I was on the list... 84 00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:48,603 CASTING DIRECTOR: It's fine. 85 00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:50,788 Do you have the pages for the role of the nanny? 86 00:03:51,051 --> 00:03:54,275 Y... Uh, yes. Is it just the one scene? 87 00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:56,486 That's right. Whenever you're ready. 88 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,487 [SIGHS] 89 00:03:57,488 --> 00:03:59,490 [SCRIPT QUIETLY CRINKLING] 90 00:03:59,895 --> 00:04:01,730 [HUFFS] Enough! 91 00:04:01,731 --> 00:04:04,631 Enough of your questions, Detective. 92 00:04:05,419 --> 00:04:08,631 I'm happy to tell you who I am and what it is I do 93 00:04:08,632 --> 00:04:11,802 without your insistent... probing. 94 00:04:14,877 --> 00:04:17,588 I am a caretaker of children, 95 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,866 to whom I'm given charge. 96 00:04:19,867 --> 00:04:24,038 Am I a substitute for the child's true mother? 97 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,265 [INHALES] 98 00:04:26,203 --> 00:04:29,913 Some would prefer I say no, but I believe... 99 00:04:30,264 --> 00:04:33,850 I am. I must be... 100 00:04:34,561 --> 00:04:37,631 their mother when it's only me with them. 101 00:04:37,996 --> 00:04:39,623 Because 102 00:04:39,624 --> 00:04:42,538 a child needs to feel, at all times, 103 00:04:42,539 --> 00:04:43,790 safe. 104 00:04:43,791 --> 00:04:47,420 They need to feel protected with the kind of ferocity 105 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,923 only a mother can summon. 106 00:04:49,924 --> 00:04:50,925 [INHALES] 107 00:04:53,163 --> 00:04:56,631 It's no matter if they were born of my own... 108 00:04:56,632 --> 00:04:58,134 flesh. 109 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:00,801 [INHALES] 110 00:05:02,611 --> 00:05:04,821 Would I kill 111 00:05:04,827 --> 00:05:07,830 to protect a child in my charge? 112 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:12,395 That is the question you have for me, I assume, Detective? 113 00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:15,399 ♪ 114 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,916 To that, I would say 115 00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:20,962 without so much as blinking, 116 00:05:20,963 --> 00:05:24,022 I would kill without compunction... 117 00:05:26,227 --> 00:05:29,731 for the sake and safety of any child in my care. 118 00:05:34,294 --> 00:05:35,546 So, 119 00:05:36,701 --> 00:05:38,829 now, you have your answer. 120 00:05:41,521 --> 00:05:43,231 Where have you been? 121 00:05:44,536 --> 00:05:46,914 ♪ 122 00:05:46,915 --> 00:05:48,272 Um... 123 00:05:48,497 --> 00:05:51,291 CHARLES: But when you finally do land your dream, 124 00:05:51,292 --> 00:05:54,288 your moment in that spotlight... 125 00:05:54,289 --> 00:05:56,541 I said, where have you been? 126 00:05:58,399 --> 00:05:59,651 Oh. 127 00:05:59,698 --> 00:06:02,826 How far would you go to hang onto it? 128 00:06:02,827 --> 00:06:05,037 Oh! [GASPS] 129 00:06:05,044 --> 00:06:06,779 Oh, thank you! 130 00:06:06,780 --> 00:06:10,325 Oh, thank you! [LAUGHING] Oh, gosh! 131 00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:13,326 [LIVELY THEME SONG PLAYING] 132 00:06:45,630 --> 00:06:50,630 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 133 00:06:56,541 --> 00:07:00,060 _ 134 00:07:01,927 --> 00:07:02,963 Help me... 135 00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,132 - [THUD] - [AUDIENCE GASPING] 136 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,219 OLIVER: Somebody! Anybody! 137 00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,262 He's not moving! 138 00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,232 WOMAN: Ben! Call 911. 139 00:07:11,233 --> 00:07:13,224 - MAN: I don't feel a pulse. - [SIRENS WAILING] 140 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:18,438 MAN: I'm trying to wrap my head around it myself. 141 00:07:18,516 --> 00:07:19,892 No, don't you under... 142 00:07:19,893 --> 00:07:22,104 No, they already pronounced him! 143 00:07:22,105 --> 00:07:24,115 They pronounced him! 144 00:07:24,532 --> 00:07:28,036 Was there any foam around his mouth? Foaming would indicate poisoning. 145 00:07:28,037 --> 00:07:31,367 I only saw blood. Mabel! What are you doing? 146 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:34,079 Could be natural causes or one of those, uh, rupture things. 147 00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:35,873 Charles, please! It's opening night, 148 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:39,376 and a big star in the prime of his life drops dead on stage? 149 00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,753 OLIVER: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He's dead. 150 00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,099 He's dead. Ben's dead. My leading man is dead! 151 00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:46,644 - Hey, it's not your fault, Oliver. - No, that's right it's not my... 152 00:07:46,645 --> 00:07:48,355 What? Of course, it's not my fault! 153 00:07:48,356 --> 00:07:49,690 Okay, Howard, 154 00:07:49,691 --> 00:07:52,569 you go and tell everyone that it's all gonna be fine. 155 00:07:52,570 --> 00:07:54,656 Tell them, uh, that we'll gather back at my place 156 00:07:54,657 --> 00:07:56,909 for the opening night party I planned, 157 00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,662 where we'll just sort all of this out. 158 00:07:58,663 --> 00:08:00,665 I really don't think people are in a party mood right now... 159 00:08:00,666 --> 00:08:03,435 Just do it, Howard! Do it! 160 00:08:03,436 --> 00:08:05,855 - Hey, Oliver. - You okay, buddy? 161 00:08:06,032 --> 00:08:08,716 Oh, my God. Is this really happening? 162 00:08:08,835 --> 00:08:10,336 How did I get here? 163 00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:13,452 ♪ 164 00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,462 - [DOOR KNOCKING] - [DOOR OPENING] 165 00:08:15,463 --> 00:08:16,990 _ 166 00:08:16,990 --> 00:08:19,624 - Is this really happening? - Happy First Read-Through Day! 167 00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,543 Am I really going back to Broadway? 168 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,462 I hope so. Why else would I be here? 169 00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:24,838 To support, to give notes, 170 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,052 to translate what the young people say for Charles. 171 00:08:27,053 --> 00:08:29,098 And because who gets to see you anymore? 172 00:08:29,099 --> 00:08:30,467 True! It's nice to see you. 173 00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:33,355 Well, you know, we're all just so busy-busy, 174 00:08:33,356 --> 00:08:36,182 and, you know, who are we without a homicide? 175 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,352 Oliver, I know you're nervous. 176 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:40,604 I know your last Broadway show was a disaster. 177 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,356 Everyone knows it. The world knows it. 178 00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:44,316 - Fast forward, fast forward. - But you, sir, 179 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,858 are a talented young man. 180 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,246 You have a gift for leadership. 181 00:08:47,247 --> 00:08:49,212 And when you asked me to join this production, I... 182 00:08:49,213 --> 00:08:50,571 Hold, please. 183 00:08:50,579 --> 00:08:51,622 [SLOSHING] 184 00:08:52,682 --> 00:08:55,618 - I asked you?! - Yes, you asked me! 185 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,454 - You know what? Forget it. - Oh, no, no, no. 186 00:08:57,454 --> 00:09:00,541 Please wax poetic about how I begged you to be in my play, 187 00:09:00,542 --> 00:09:01,973 even though you haven't been on stage 188 00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:03,590 since men had to play all the women. 189 00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:04,977 You don't need to explain. 190 00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,878 In Shakespeare times, men had to play the women. 191 00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:08,464 - Ah. - Women weren't allowed. 192 00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,843 - It's a, a age joke. - It's also a career joke. 193 00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:12,886 And I loved it, but can we talk about me now 194 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,346 and how I cannot believe 195 00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:17,266 I'm going to be in the same room as Ben Glenroy? 196 00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:19,768 Hair up or hair down? Do you think he likes ears? 197 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,895 Mabel, actors are just people. 198 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,856 Remember how nervous you were to meet me at first? 199 00:09:23,856 --> 00:09:26,567 - I don't maybe remember that? - Yeah, but now look at us. 200 00:09:27,090 --> 00:09:29,509 Hey, when we get there, how do you wanna handle the entrances? 201 00:09:29,510 --> 00:09:32,071 Maybe you introduce me and then I come in? 202 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,465 This is a table read, Charles. It's not The Donna Reed Show. 203 00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:36,952 - Donna Reed was... - It's not worth it. 204 00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:39,246 Okay, now, please do not start this journey 205 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:40,956 by alienating all of your colleagues 206 00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:43,301 with some desperate attempt at peacocking. 207 00:09:43,302 --> 00:09:44,855 No peacocking! 208 00:09:45,340 --> 00:09:47,795 Oliver Putnam in da house! 209 00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:51,508 [APPLAUSE, CHEERING] 210 00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,260 I have a question. 211 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,762 Who wants to go to Broadway? 212 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:58,807 - [EXCITED SQUEAL] - [CHEERING] 213 00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:01,101 - [WHISTLING] - [SCATTERED GASPS] 214 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,936 We thank you for your attention. 215 00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:04,495 Brief anecdote. 216 00:10:04,496 --> 00:10:07,608 I remember when I auditioned for Mr. Oliver Putnam 217 00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,735 - for this very play. - It's true. 218 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:11,403 Do you remember what you said to me, Oliver? 219 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:13,739 I sure do. I said, 220 00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:16,200 "How about you be my assistant, instead?" 221 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,951 - [GIGGLES] That's right. - Yes. 222 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:18,952 Word for word. 223 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,204 The floor is yours. 224 00:10:20,204 --> 00:10:22,164 - Thank you, Howard. - [SCATTERED APPLAUSE] 225 00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,290 Ah... [NERVOUS LAUGH] 226 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:26,251 So our leading man is running a skitch late, 227 00:10:26,258 --> 00:10:28,302 but let's go ahead and get started. 228 00:10:28,659 --> 00:10:32,183 I welcome you all... to the world... 229 00:10:32,184 --> 00:10:33,716 of Death Rattle! 230 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:34,801 [GASPS, APPLAUSE] 231 00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:37,605 - Oh, my God! - OLIVER: Yeah. 232 00:10:37,606 --> 00:10:39,808 A story of death 233 00:10:40,163 --> 00:10:42,124 that happens in a lighthouse 234 00:10:42,125 --> 00:10:44,585 in foggy upper Nova Scotia, 235 00:10:44,586 --> 00:10:47,464 where the only person in the room, when the deaths occurred, 236 00:10:48,302 --> 00:10:49,887 is an infant child. 237 00:10:50,476 --> 00:10:53,646 Now, some may call this chestnut of a play 238 00:10:53,647 --> 00:10:55,440 a little dusty, 239 00:10:55,441 --> 00:10:57,610 uh, but of course, I've been called that myself 240 00:10:57,611 --> 00:10:59,947 - a few times, frankly. - [LAUGHS] 241 00:10:59,948 --> 00:11:01,783 [BLOWS, COUGHS] 242 00:11:01,784 --> 00:11:03,035 [LAUGHTER] 243 00:11:03,036 --> 00:11:05,330 When our amazing producer, Donna Demeo, 244 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,542 - first called me about... - With Clifford. 245 00:11:07,543 --> 00:11:09,670 [NERVOUS LAUGH] My son, Cliff, 246 00:11:09,671 --> 00:11:13,383 who is making his first solo producing effort here. 247 00:11:13,384 --> 00:11:14,927 [SIGHS] But with me. 248 00:11:14,928 --> 00:11:16,930 Thanks, Mom. Thank you, thanks. 249 00:11:16,931 --> 00:11:20,017 I am so super excited because, like your characters 250 00:11:20,018 --> 00:11:22,938 who are trapped in a hurricane in a deadly lighthouse, 251 00:11:22,939 --> 00:11:25,916 we're gonna take Broadway by storm! 252 00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:29,229 [GASPS, SURPRISED CHATTER] 253 00:11:29,540 --> 00:11:31,414 How about that? 254 00:11:31,415 --> 00:11:33,818 I'm so proud of my boy. 255 00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:36,196 So, so, so, so, so... 256 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,406 [MOANS] 257 00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:38,782 proud. [GIGGLES] 258 00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:41,236 He's gay, so I can kiss him like that. 259 00:11:41,237 --> 00:11:43,031 [AWKWARD CHUCKLE, SNIFF] 260 00:11:43,930 --> 00:11:46,501 Alrighty, then. So, I think that... 261 00:11:46,502 --> 00:11:48,499 [GLASS CLINKING] 262 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,751 What? 263 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:51,253 Oh, I just like doing this. 264 00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:52,254 [LAUGHTER] 265 00:11:52,254 --> 00:11:54,298 No, no, if I may. Uh, 266 00:11:54,298 --> 00:11:57,092 we're in a very small room here, and I'd like to address 267 00:11:57,092 --> 00:11:59,768 the show business elephant inside it, 268 00:11:59,769 --> 00:12:03,481 and that show business elephant is me. 269 00:12:03,526 --> 00:12:05,153 - Oh, dear lord. - CHARLES: Yes, 270 00:12:05,154 --> 00:12:06,613 I played Aristotle Brazzos 271 00:12:06,614 --> 00:12:09,462 in 224 episodes of dramatic television. 272 00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:10,855 - Aristotle? - I can't. 273 00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:13,775 As well as a reboot, uh, which is currently on hiatus 274 00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:17,029 because the producer is up on harassment charges. 275 00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:19,907 I also starred in three made-for-TV movies, 276 00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,618 uh, and also a series of TV ads 277 00:12:22,618 --> 00:12:24,161 for the Dukakis campaign. 278 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,913 All this is to say 279 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,627 I'm just like you. 280 00:12:27,882 --> 00:12:29,721 I'm nobody special. 281 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,584 I mean, I'm not any more special 282 00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,299 because, in a way, we're all... 283 00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,822 I think it was Gandhi who said, "Isn't everyone, though, just..." 284 00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:38,361 Thank you so much, Charles. How inspiring. 285 00:12:38,362 --> 00:12:40,114 - That was wonderful. - Did I stick the landing? 286 00:12:40,115 --> 00:12:43,236 The plane is literally scattered across the runway. 287 00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:46,098 Alright then! As we await Ben, 288 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,877 why don't we now take a look 289 00:12:47,878 --> 00:12:50,770 at the model for our set? 290 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,065 ♪ 291 00:12:53,065 --> 00:12:55,943 - [GASPS, EXCITED CHATTER] - [CLAPPING] 292 00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:57,549 MABEL: Okay, secret? 293 00:12:57,786 --> 00:13:00,252 I think theater is kinda lame. 294 00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:02,620 People all dressed up in costumes 295 00:13:02,621 --> 00:13:05,040 no real person would ever wear, 296 00:13:05,041 --> 00:13:07,127 acting like nobody's sitting out there 297 00:13:07,128 --> 00:13:10,502 watching them say things no real person would ever say. 298 00:13:11,872 --> 00:13:15,275 But at least this piece of theater is a murder mystery. 299 00:13:15,276 --> 00:13:17,213 That, I can get my head around. 300 00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:20,885 And every murder mystery needs a victim. 301 00:13:20,886 --> 00:13:23,055 - It really is... - Okay! 302 00:13:23,056 --> 00:13:24,558 Okay! [SOFT GASPS] 303 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:26,598 Who farted? 304 00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:28,971 [LAUGHTER] 305 00:13:28,972 --> 00:13:31,837 - Ben Glenroy, ladies and gentlemen! - No, stop, stop, stop, stop! 306 00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:34,194 [APPLAUSE, EXCITED CHATTER] 307 00:13:34,195 --> 00:13:38,157 Thank you. Oh, by the way, this is my manager, Dickie. 308 00:13:38,158 --> 00:13:40,650 He's not just my manager, he's also my brother. 309 00:13:40,829 --> 00:13:42,748 But please don't say nepotism 310 00:13:42,749 --> 00:13:44,824 because he gets very insecure about his abilities. 311 00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:45,826 [LAUGHS] Hi. 312 00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:47,578 BEN: He's also the reason we're late. 313 00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:49,705 Dickie had us a, a block over. 314 00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:51,385 No way! You guys! 315 00:13:51,386 --> 00:13:53,624 - This is my cast? - Yes! 316 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:56,962 - Yes, and we are so thrilled! - Hi. I'm Ben. 317 00:13:56,962 --> 00:13:59,197 I'm also trained as an intimacy coordinator. 318 00:13:59,198 --> 00:14:00,407 Hi, I'm Kimber, 319 00:14:00,408 --> 00:14:02,967 and I didn't realize we had any love scenes. 320 00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:04,928 What? We're in the middle of one right now. 321 00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:06,972 - Oh. [LAUGHS] - Timber for Kimber. 322 00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:09,183 - [KIMBER GIGGLING] - And you... 323 00:14:09,183 --> 00:14:12,936 are way too fuckin' handsome. Somebody fire him, now! 324 00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:14,521 - [LAUGHTER] - I'm Ty. 325 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,274 Oh! If y'all would just please quick sign these NDAs, 326 00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:19,985 and the last page telling us you're okay with us filming. 327 00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:21,278 I-I'm sorry, filming? 328 00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:23,447 Yeah. Two, uh, shows for the price of one. 329 00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:27,034 My Broadway debut, and a documentary about my Broadway debut. 330 00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:30,787 This is my documentarian, Tobert. You heard that right. 331 00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:32,247 It's Robert with a T. 332 00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,082 Hey, Broadway, I am just an observer. 333 00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:36,210 This is literally the last time you're gonna hear my voice. 334 00:14:36,337 --> 00:14:38,002 Hello, Ben. I'm Charles-Haden Savage. 335 00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:39,755 - Fuck me! - Oh wow... 336 00:14:39,755 --> 00:14:42,549 Oh, the energy coming from this corner! 337 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,801 Am I right? Do we all feel this? 338 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,220 Ben, this is our Nanny. 339 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:47,736 - Loretta. - Yeah. 340 00:14:47,737 --> 00:14:49,597 Oliver tells me you're one to look out for. 341 00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:52,226 Oh, well, Oliver flatters. 342 00:14:52,226 --> 00:14:53,727 Just don't upstage me. 343 00:14:54,645 --> 00:14:57,080 [LAUGHS] I'm kidding. I'm kidding. 344 00:14:57,081 --> 00:14:59,857 - No, I'm honored to work with you. - LORETTA: Oh my. 345 00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:02,152 Well, my friends are just beside themselves 346 00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,112 that I'm gonna get to work with The CoBro. 347 00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:07,324 Oh God, no, please. Just... Just CoBro. 348 00:15:07,522 --> 00:15:09,065 - Sorry? - BEN: Yeah, no, 349 00:15:09,066 --> 00:15:11,410 the "the" makes me sound like an asshole. 350 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,025 - Oh. - Like the Rock. 351 00:15:13,026 --> 00:15:16,846 Or the Pope. I mean, come on, get over yourselves. Right? 352 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,710 But, in the films, I'm just the friendly zoologist 353 00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:21,964 who morphs into a 20-foot cobra 354 00:15:21,965 --> 00:15:24,467 and helps the cops save the day. 355 00:15:25,172 --> 00:15:26,463 Hey, you. 356 00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:31,055 Oh, hi. I loved you in Girl Cop. 357 00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:33,058 Oh, that old thing? 358 00:15:34,447 --> 00:15:35,643 [BLOWS] 359 00:15:35,644 --> 00:15:37,563 - [MABEL GIGGLING] - [BEN CHUCKLES] 360 00:15:37,563 --> 00:15:39,731 Alright, well, this is exciting. 361 00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,942 Shall we take our seats and start the read? 362 00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:44,291 - Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah! A read-through! - [EXCITED CHATTER] 363 00:15:44,292 --> 00:15:46,447 I wanna read! Oh, hey, by the way. 364 00:15:46,448 --> 00:15:48,783 Thanks for the tip on Amy Schumer's place. 365 00:15:48,784 --> 00:15:50,578 - Just moved in. - Oh! 366 00:15:50,579 --> 00:15:53,081 Tell her she left a bunch of cottage cheese in the fridge. 367 00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:56,252 Fuck... Fuck... Fuckerballs. Fuck. 368 00:15:56,253 --> 00:15:58,380 Dickie? There's cookies here. 369 00:15:58,381 --> 00:16:01,384 Oh no. Ben can't have cookies. 370 00:16:01,385 --> 00:16:03,921 He's on a very strict diet for CoBro, 371 00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:07,217 and cookies are [LAUGHS] a weakness. 372 00:16:07,379 --> 00:16:09,757 Well, not a weakness. I just... 373 00:16:10,596 --> 00:16:12,639 - Where are they from? - Schmackary's. 374 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,142 Oh... God, even the name is sexy. 375 00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:18,061 - I'll take them. - No, it's fine, it's fine. Leave 'em. 376 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:19,521 Leave 'em! Just... 377 00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:21,607 - Let's read. - OLIVER: Alright! 378 00:16:21,607 --> 00:16:23,609 So, this is kind of exciting. 379 00:16:23,609 --> 00:16:25,694 Shall we begin, KT? 380 00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:27,355 From the top, everyone. 381 00:16:27,356 --> 00:16:29,134 Ladies and gentlemen, 382 00:16:29,135 --> 00:16:31,825 I give you... page one. 383 00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:32,868 [SLOSHING] 384 00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:34,870 I wasn't ready. [CLEARS THROAT] 385 00:16:36,136 --> 00:16:38,690 "It's a night in upper Nova Scotia." 386 00:16:38,691 --> 00:16:41,502 Oh, hot damn! That is a hot Schmackary. 387 00:16:42,819 --> 00:16:45,697 Sorry. I just had a corner. 388 00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,729 No more. It's alright. 389 00:16:48,138 --> 00:16:50,348 - Reading. - [HOWARD CLEARS THROAT] 390 00:16:50,349 --> 00:16:53,262 "A detective makes his way toward the audience. 391 00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:54,640 He is our narrator." 392 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:57,416 [DEEP VOICE] "What turned me into a creature of the night? 393 00:16:57,713 --> 00:16:59,256 "Let me tell you. 394 00:16:59,257 --> 00:17:02,052 "I just finished up a case in Halifax when I got a call 395 00:17:02,053 --> 00:17:06,015 "about some curious goings-on at the old Pickwick Lighthouse. 396 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:08,362 I made my way to see for myself." 397 00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:11,823 "A lighthouse appears, and a storm shelter door opens. 398 00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:14,826 A nanny emerges from the shelter." 399 00:17:15,538 --> 00:17:17,369 [THICK SCOTTISH ACCENT] "Storm's comin'. 400 00:17:18,108 --> 00:17:21,153 Don't think it's a night for roaming the rocks." 401 00:17:25,889 --> 00:17:29,141 I-I'm sorry, I think I missed some of those words. 402 00:17:29,142 --> 00:17:33,221 - Oh, I was trying a Scottish dialect. - OLIVER: Uh-huh. 403 00:17:33,746 --> 00:17:35,123 Because the nanny's... 404 00:17:35,124 --> 00:17:38,127 The nanny refers to a childhood in Aberdeen. 405 00:17:39,716 --> 00:17:41,049 Right. 406 00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,368 LORETTA: Um, or, or not. 407 00:17:43,369 --> 00:17:45,658 No, no, no, no, no. I-It's okay to try things. 408 00:17:45,659 --> 00:17:47,623 L-Let's just go again. 409 00:17:47,624 --> 00:17:50,627 "A nanny emerges from the shelter." 410 00:17:50,697 --> 00:17:52,157 [QUÉBÉCOIS ACCENT] "Storm's coming. 411 00:17:52,583 --> 00:17:56,087 Don't think it's a night for roaming on the rocks." 412 00:17:58,980 --> 00:18:00,658 French Canadian. 413 00:18:02,116 --> 00:18:04,535 Because it's up in the Maritimes there. 414 00:18:04,543 --> 00:18:07,504 So, a lot of French... I'm sorry. 415 00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:10,507 It's... [LAUGHS] This is my process. 416 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:14,428 It's just how I... find the nanny's voice. 417 00:18:14,428 --> 00:18:15,429 OLIVER: You know what? 418 00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:18,432 Maybe we try it slightly more how you talk. 419 00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,697 "A nanny emerges from the shelter." 420 00:18:24,761 --> 00:18:26,054 Um... 421 00:18:26,055 --> 00:18:28,088 [FLATLY] "Storm's coming. 422 00:18:28,723 --> 00:18:32,602 [SIGHS] Don't think it's a night for roaming on the rocks." 423 00:18:32,603 --> 00:18:33,861 [INHALES] 424 00:18:36,350 --> 00:18:37,560 Um... 425 00:18:37,561 --> 00:18:39,650 "I don't go roaming anywhere." 426 00:18:55,010 --> 00:18:56,479 [WHISPERS] It's you. 427 00:18:59,845 --> 00:19:02,556 [GASPS] Oh, my God, it's me! [LAUGHS] Oh, I'm so... 428 00:19:03,096 --> 00:19:05,580 Oh, I'm sorry, it's me, isn't it? 429 00:19:05,581 --> 00:19:07,230 I-It's your line, yes. 430 00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:09,274 You know what? I didn't highlight that one. 431 00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:10,609 I'm gonna do that right now. 432 00:19:10,609 --> 00:19:13,330 Good. Now, you'll always have it... 433 00:19:13,331 --> 00:19:14,820 there 'cause it's highlighted. 434 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:18,325 ♪ 435 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:19,618 [QUIET CHATTER] 436 00:19:19,618 --> 00:19:21,119 [BEN SIGHS] 437 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,497 [QUIETLY] Our nanny is a stinkeroony. 438 00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:25,332 [QUIETLY] No, Ben, Ben, she'll be fine. 439 00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,167 She's just finding the voice. You heard her. 440 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,775 Do you hear me, Oliver? 441 00:19:29,011 --> 00:19:31,180 She's a stinkeroony! [SIGHS] 442 00:19:31,181 --> 00:19:33,266 I say give her the boo-tay before we... 443 00:19:33,414 --> 00:19:35,625 - get too far down the road. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 444 00:19:35,634 --> 00:19:38,595 Tru... Just... Loretta is very special. 445 00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,597 Just let me talk to her, okay? 446 00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:41,849 Just... 447 00:19:45,453 --> 00:19:48,456 - Hello. - Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I'm... 448 00:19:49,140 --> 00:19:50,182 I get nervous 449 00:19:50,183 --> 00:19:52,686 and I'm not good at table reads. 450 00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,988 But, please, please don't give up on me. 451 00:19:56,410 --> 00:19:58,329 Listen to me. Um... 452 00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:00,499 My first table read, 453 00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:02,525 there was a young actor, 454 00:20:02,526 --> 00:20:04,470 and he got very nervous, 455 00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:06,390 and he was missing lines, 456 00:20:06,391 --> 00:20:09,344 inaudible dialogue. It was painful. 457 00:20:09,345 --> 00:20:10,502 [SIGHS] Yeah. 458 00:20:10,502 --> 00:20:12,504 Everyone tells me to fire him 459 00:20:12,877 --> 00:20:14,378 but I refused. 460 00:20:15,217 --> 00:20:17,525 And you know who that young actor was? 461 00:20:17,526 --> 00:20:19,385 No. No! 462 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:21,847 No one you'd know. Everyone was right. 463 00:20:21,847 --> 00:20:24,224 He was a train wreck. I fired him three weeks later. 464 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,667 But you are not that. 465 00:20:26,668 --> 00:20:29,228 You are the opposite of that. 466 00:20:30,030 --> 00:20:32,751 And anyone who has not seen that yet 467 00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:36,569 is either dumb, blind, or a combination of the two. 468 00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:38,572 - [GIGGLES] - You go, 469 00:20:38,817 --> 00:20:39,943 I go. 470 00:20:39,944 --> 00:20:41,657 Oh, Oliver, gosh... 471 00:20:41,658 --> 00:20:43,160 You go, 472 00:20:44,192 --> 00:20:45,401 I go. 473 00:20:46,410 --> 00:20:47,953 Okay? 474 00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:49,892 ♪ 475 00:20:49,893 --> 00:20:51,822 Thank you. Thank you. 476 00:20:51,823 --> 00:20:53,992 Okay. Alright. [SNIFFLES] 477 00:20:54,861 --> 00:20:57,256 Oh, my God, Loretta. Where is Loretta? 478 00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:59,551 Loretta is in her dressing room. She is pretty upset, 479 00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:01,845 but she said she'll try to make the... party. 480 00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:04,765 - Okay. - Are you sure a party is a... 481 00:21:04,765 --> 00:21:06,517 - you know... - What? 482 00:21:06,517 --> 00:21:08,697 No, no, no, no. Spit it out, Charles. 483 00:21:08,705 --> 00:21:12,977 Heap some more suffering onto my already full plate! 484 00:21:13,185 --> 00:21:16,539 There might be a little room next to the despair! 485 00:21:16,540 --> 00:21:18,517 ♪ 486 00:21:18,518 --> 00:21:21,229 - Party sounds nice. - [PANTING, GROWLS] 487 00:21:25,579 --> 00:21:26,830 Party... 488 00:21:27,003 --> 00:21:29,839 ♪ 489 00:21:31,534 --> 00:21:33,619 LESTER: Shouldn't be too much longer, people! 490 00:21:33,620 --> 00:21:35,670 Patience, people, patience! 491 00:21:35,671 --> 00:21:37,548 UMA: Ugh. This is ridiculous. 492 00:21:37,548 --> 00:21:40,634 Safety first. Don't worry. It's all good. We'll get there. 493 00:21:40,634 --> 00:21:43,908 Uma, I promise you, I'll get you in. I promise. 494 00:21:43,909 --> 00:21:46,002 - What's going on? - We'll get there, don't worry. 495 00:21:46,270 --> 00:21:47,765 - The elevator's out. - Ugh! 496 00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:49,935 Got them working overtime on it. Should be up and running soon. 497 00:21:49,935 --> 00:21:53,605 - Okay, listen, guys... - The press is already up my ass. 498 00:21:53,605 --> 00:21:56,859 - We need to get a statement out. - "Ben Glenroy" is trending on Twitter. 499 00:21:56,859 --> 00:21:59,736 So is "RIP Ben Glenroy." So is "Ben Dead." 500 00:21:59,736 --> 00:22:02,643 So is... "Real Housewives"? Oh, my God, was tonight the reunion? 501 00:22:02,644 --> 00:22:03,689 Yeah, listen. 502 00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:06,651 This is the moment where producers really matter. 503 00:22:06,784 --> 00:22:09,954 Just because Ben is dead, doesn't mean the show has to die, too. 504 00:22:09,955 --> 00:22:11,582 Oliver, you're in shock. 505 00:22:11,582 --> 00:22:13,667 The fact this happened in the Goosebury, 506 00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:16,461 the same theater as your Splash... 507 00:22:16,531 --> 00:22:19,173 - [GROWLS] - I'm not saying you're cursed, 508 00:22:19,174 --> 00:22:20,967 but it wouldn't surprise me if you pissed off 509 00:22:20,968 --> 00:22:23,291 a witch or two in a previous life. 510 00:22:23,411 --> 00:22:25,705 Only seven at a time allowed in the one that's working. 511 00:22:25,706 --> 00:22:27,760 And tenants have priority status! 512 00:22:27,761 --> 00:22:31,267 Along with the hosts of the saddest opening night party in history! 513 00:22:31,268 --> 00:22:32,978 ♪ 514 00:22:32,978 --> 00:22:34,813 LESTER: That's it! That's it. 515 00:22:35,345 --> 00:22:36,930 - DONNA: 10? - OLIVER: Yes. 516 00:22:36,931 --> 00:22:38,557 At least you had the consideration 517 00:22:38,558 --> 00:22:41,194 to keep the body out of the building this time. 518 00:22:41,195 --> 00:22:43,447 You always know just what to say, Uma. 519 00:22:43,447 --> 00:22:45,518 It's a goddamn gift. 520 00:22:46,325 --> 00:22:49,328 [QUIET PARTY CHATTER] [PLATES, GLASSES CLINKING] 521 00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:54,541 [KT GASPS] 522 00:22:56,918 --> 00:22:58,419 JONATHAN: Oh, man. 523 00:22:59,348 --> 00:23:02,173 Oh, you're using Ben's opening night gift. 524 00:23:02,174 --> 00:23:04,127 Yeah, didn't think I'd need it so soon. 525 00:23:05,744 --> 00:23:07,603 It really is a beautiful gift. 526 00:23:07,973 --> 00:23:10,476 I didn't realize assistants got one, too. 527 00:23:10,946 --> 00:23:12,781 How very generous of Ben. 528 00:23:12,975 --> 00:23:15,463 And I didn't realize stage managers wiped their nose 529 00:23:15,464 --> 00:23:17,647 with anything other than the bottom of their palm. 530 00:23:17,648 --> 00:23:19,316 You've got crumbs in your beard. 531 00:23:19,316 --> 00:23:22,150 ♪ And let's reach for stars... ♪ 532 00:23:24,964 --> 00:23:27,967 Oh, great. Let's just leave all the cellophane on the food. 533 00:23:29,005 --> 00:23:31,049 Hey, Oliver. How you holding up? 534 00:23:31,703 --> 00:23:33,413 I just ate a dinner roll. 535 00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:34,957 Wow, that bad? 536 00:23:34,957 --> 00:23:38,168 The lead of my play left my stage without a pulse, 537 00:23:38,168 --> 00:23:40,170 and all I can think about is my career. 538 00:23:41,562 --> 00:23:43,397 I don't know, Mabel. 539 00:23:43,398 --> 00:23:46,564 Narcissism should really be more fun than this. 540 00:23:47,166 --> 00:23:50,884 - Maybe I am cursed. - Well, shit, Oliver. 541 00:23:50,885 --> 00:23:52,253 [SIGHS] 542 00:23:52,349 --> 00:23:54,932 My first thought when he went down? 543 00:23:55,193 --> 00:23:56,695 Maybe he was poisoned. 544 00:23:57,369 --> 00:24:01,373 And a podcast about the poisoning of a big movie star? 545 00:24:01,374 --> 00:24:03,198 That could be big. 546 00:24:03,498 --> 00:24:06,584 And maybe with their play shut down, 547 00:24:06,585 --> 00:24:08,796 and a new podcast in motion, 548 00:24:08,797 --> 00:24:12,008 maybe I could spend more time with my guys again. 549 00:24:14,705 --> 00:24:16,164 Me more than him, right? 550 00:24:16,344 --> 00:24:18,638 I don't pick favorite olds. 551 00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:21,776 Better to leave it unsaid. 552 00:24:22,037 --> 00:24:23,038 [KNOWING GROWL] 553 00:24:23,046 --> 00:24:24,882 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 554 00:24:27,596 --> 00:24:29,385 - [SIGHS] - How you doing, Charlie? 555 00:24:29,386 --> 00:24:32,306 - Aw... - Oh. Traumatized, uh, perplexed. 556 00:24:32,306 --> 00:24:34,253 [QUIETLY] Am I allowed to say relieved? 557 00:24:34,254 --> 00:24:36,809 I mean, my nerves couldn't take eight shows a week. 558 00:24:36,810 --> 00:24:38,228 But don't tell Oliver I said that. 559 00:24:38,228 --> 00:24:41,231 Oh, I'm a steel trap... Oh, Charlie. [SIGHS] 560 00:24:41,232 --> 00:24:44,456 It's okay to be relieved that the show is over. 561 00:24:44,875 --> 00:24:46,794 Means more time for us. 562 00:24:46,903 --> 00:24:49,815 It does. Hey, did you get Lucy home alright? 563 00:24:49,816 --> 00:24:51,991 Yeah. That girl's a lot. 564 00:24:51,992 --> 00:24:53,911 I'm ready to get trashed. 565 00:24:57,330 --> 00:24:59,498 [QUIET PARTY CHATTER] 566 00:24:59,507 --> 00:25:02,886 ♪ 567 00:25:04,997 --> 00:25:06,582 I didn't know you tinkered. 568 00:25:06,583 --> 00:25:08,841 Oh, I tinker. 569 00:25:08,842 --> 00:25:10,002 [OLIVER CHUCKLES] 570 00:25:10,003 --> 00:25:11,575 Keep tinkering. 571 00:25:11,976 --> 00:25:15,312 ♪ And the dearest love ♪ 572 00:25:15,313 --> 00:25:18,413 ♪ In all the world ♪ 573 00:25:18,514 --> 00:25:21,703 ♪ Is waiting somewhere ♪ 574 00:25:21,704 --> 00:25:23,998 ♪ For me ♪ 575 00:25:23,999 --> 00:25:26,544 BOTH: ♪ Is waiting ♪ 576 00:25:26,545 --> 00:25:28,936 ♪ Somewhere ♪ 577 00:25:29,175 --> 00:25:32,444 ♪ Somewhere for ♪ 578 00:25:32,445 --> 00:25:37,014 ♪ Me... ♪ 579 00:25:38,539 --> 00:25:40,165 [BOTH GIGGLE] 580 00:25:40,165 --> 00:25:43,210 I feel better now. How about you? 581 00:25:43,210 --> 00:25:44,819 Good as new. [LAUGHS] 582 00:25:45,436 --> 00:25:48,673 Hey. Can you look at the [SIGHS] 583 00:25:48,674 --> 00:25:52,010 back of my earring? Is the thing snapped into the thing? 584 00:25:52,010 --> 00:25:53,846 - Are these technical terms? - No. [SIGHS] 585 00:25:53,846 --> 00:25:57,007 I just had to get outta my costume so fast, 586 00:25:57,008 --> 00:25:58,683 I'm not sure I hooked it in right. 587 00:25:58,684 --> 00:26:01,358 Wouldn't you know it? The thing is in the thing. 588 00:26:01,475 --> 00:26:03,518 - Good. - [OLIVER SIGHS] 589 00:26:03,519 --> 00:26:05,855 Thank you for making me feel lighter. 590 00:26:06,759 --> 00:26:08,177 If only for a minute. 591 00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:10,430 Oh God. [SIGHS] 592 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,282 I wanted tonight to happen. 593 00:26:14,615 --> 00:26:16,585 For both of us, most of all. 594 00:26:17,131 --> 00:26:18,132 [SIGHS] 595 00:26:18,810 --> 00:26:20,896 Well, [INHALES, EXHALES] 596 00:26:20,897 --> 00:26:22,774 the show may be over 597 00:26:23,941 --> 00:26:26,276 but doesn't that mean 598 00:26:26,277 --> 00:26:29,944 we're not obliged to live by your show rule anymore? 599 00:26:31,166 --> 00:26:32,167 ♪ 600 00:26:32,183 --> 00:26:34,185 The one that keeps things... 601 00:26:34,761 --> 00:26:36,263 professional... 602 00:26:36,722 --> 00:26:39,850 [LAUGHS] and platonic? 603 00:26:39,850 --> 00:26:41,268 ♪ 604 00:26:41,268 --> 00:26:42,436 [DOOR OPENING] 605 00:26:42,436 --> 00:26:44,632 - BEN: Okay! Okay! - [CROWD GASPING, SCREAMING] 606 00:26:44,967 --> 00:26:46,397 Who farted?! 607 00:26:46,398 --> 00:26:48,171 [CROWD GASPING] 608 00:26:48,172 --> 00:26:50,383 Mama's back, bitches! 609 00:26:50,388 --> 00:26:52,975 That's right. I'm alive! 610 00:26:52,976 --> 00:26:55,354 - CHARLES: H-How could you... What? - MABEL: What the fuck? 611 00:26:55,355 --> 00:26:57,107 [BEN SIGHS, PANTS] 612 00:26:57,108 --> 00:26:58,784 I was dead, dude. 613 00:26:58,785 --> 00:27:02,507 For, like, an hour. They said it was like a record in their hospital. 614 00:27:02,508 --> 00:27:03,983 - Right, Dickie? - Oh, they didn't say 615 00:27:03,984 --> 00:27:05,000 anything like that. 616 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,586 They pumped my stomach. I barfed up a ton. 617 00:27:07,586 --> 00:27:09,755 I don't know. They said maybe it was something I ate? 618 00:27:09,755 --> 00:27:11,840 But y-you had blood in your mouth! 619 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:15,155 Yeah. Well, I bit the fuck outta my tongue when I fell. 620 00:27:15,156 --> 00:27:16,718 I don't feel it now, though. 621 00:27:17,595 --> 00:27:18,596 [HEAVES] 622 00:27:18,597 --> 00:27:20,057 [CROWD MURMURING] 623 00:27:20,057 --> 00:27:21,725 [HEAVES] 624 00:27:21,725 --> 00:27:23,143 [GAGS] Oh, sorry. 625 00:27:23,143 --> 00:27:26,021 The nurses... oh, my God. They were so freaked out. 626 00:27:26,021 --> 00:27:27,648 The doctors were like, "Do not go anywhere!" 627 00:27:27,648 --> 00:27:29,660 But I had to get back to see you guys! 628 00:27:29,661 --> 00:27:31,163 My cast. My... 629 00:27:32,386 --> 00:27:33,910 [PHONE RECORDING] I just... 630 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:39,466 Oh, wow! 631 00:27:39,467 --> 00:27:40,885 Sorry! [SNIFFLES] 632 00:27:40,886 --> 00:27:43,681 Shit! I did not expect to get emotional! 633 00:27:43,682 --> 00:27:46,128 But, when I was dead, guys? 634 00:27:46,678 --> 00:27:48,179 I saw the light. 635 00:27:48,288 --> 00:27:51,206 That light, yes. The dead person light. 636 00:27:51,383 --> 00:27:52,635 I saw it. 637 00:27:54,255 --> 00:27:57,300 And I saw all the shit that I pulled with all of you 638 00:27:57,301 --> 00:27:58,844 over these last few months. 639 00:27:58,845 --> 00:28:01,277 And I thought, I can't die like this. 640 00:28:02,309 --> 00:28:05,729 And so, I'm back, and I'm gonna be so much better. 641 00:28:05,861 --> 00:28:08,964 And we are going to kick ass with this show. 642 00:28:08,965 --> 00:28:11,467 - You hear me, Oliver? - Oh, my God. 643 00:28:12,550 --> 00:28:14,611 You're really alive... 644 00:28:15,924 --> 00:28:17,746 and so soft. 645 00:28:18,407 --> 00:28:19,449 [BOTH SIGH] 646 00:28:20,075 --> 00:28:21,118 [SNORTS] 647 00:28:21,637 --> 00:28:23,306 Kimber... 648 00:28:23,579 --> 00:28:25,289 [HEAVY BREATHING] 649 00:28:25,290 --> 00:28:28,293 I'm so sorry I made everything messy between us. 650 00:28:29,074 --> 00:28:30,816 I fucked up. 651 00:28:31,209 --> 00:28:32,920 But I'm gonna make it right. 652 00:28:32,921 --> 00:28:34,882 ♪ 653 00:28:34,883 --> 00:28:37,594 Ty. Forgive me, please, for... 654 00:28:38,252 --> 00:28:40,927 getting so mad at you for wanting to use my trainer. 655 00:28:40,928 --> 00:28:43,139 It's just, Hutch is my secret weapon. 656 00:28:43,140 --> 00:28:45,225 And, you know, there's no shot you can afford him, 657 00:28:45,226 --> 00:28:47,729 but I-I suppose I could give you his digits. 658 00:28:48,916 --> 00:28:50,261 Jonathan. 659 00:28:51,405 --> 00:28:53,011 Jonathan! 660 00:28:53,963 --> 00:28:55,339 My understudy. 661 00:28:55,519 --> 00:28:57,396 [LAUGHS] When this started, 662 00:28:57,397 --> 00:28:59,816 I was never gonna let you ever step foot on that stage, 663 00:28:59,823 --> 00:29:01,658 but, moving forward, 664 00:29:02,216 --> 00:29:03,700 I'm gonna consider it. 665 00:29:03,972 --> 00:29:05,369 Maybe a Wednesday matinee! 666 00:29:05,370 --> 00:29:08,665 - Let's not over-promise here. - BEN: Ha, Donna! 667 00:29:08,665 --> 00:29:10,667 My beloved producer! 668 00:29:11,010 --> 00:29:12,494 You and your... 669 00:29:14,254 --> 00:29:16,256 - Boy. - It's Cliff. 670 00:29:16,257 --> 00:29:19,761 I know. That's what I said. Look, um... [SIGHS] 671 00:29:20,460 --> 00:29:22,462 I know I haven't been easy to deal with, 672 00:29:22,471 --> 00:29:24,237 with all my complaints about... 673 00:29:24,241 --> 00:29:26,265 the... size of my dressing room, 674 00:29:26,266 --> 00:29:28,352 and the... shape of my dressing room, 675 00:29:28,352 --> 00:29:29,862 and the color palette of my dressing room. 676 00:29:29,863 --> 00:29:32,699 Basically, everything I've ever said about my... 677 00:29:32,903 --> 00:29:34,589 unnecessarily shitty dressing room. 678 00:29:34,590 --> 00:29:36,050 I take it all back. 679 00:29:36,126 --> 00:29:37,669 Uh... [SIGHS] 680 00:29:37,670 --> 00:29:39,505 I'm really so sorry, Donna. 681 00:29:39,506 --> 00:29:40,947 And I'm so sorry, boy. 682 00:29:40,948 --> 00:29:43,200 - Cliff. - Right. [SIGHS] 683 00:29:43,764 --> 00:29:46,369 Would be great if we could fix up my dressing room, by the way. 684 00:29:46,370 --> 00:29:48,862 It's the last time I'm gonna mention anything, alright? 685 00:29:48,916 --> 00:29:50,873 Pinky swear. Bobo! 686 00:29:50,874 --> 00:29:53,418 Look at... Bobo. You know what? You're s... [SIGHS] 687 00:29:53,418 --> 00:29:55,128 You're such a funny guy 688 00:29:55,128 --> 00:29:58,298 and a-all I ever do is say no to you. 689 00:29:58,298 --> 00:29:59,550 But I promise you. 690 00:30:00,384 --> 00:30:02,134 No more no-nos for Bobo. 691 00:30:02,135 --> 00:30:03,887 ♪ 692 00:30:03,887 --> 00:30:05,556 KT, my bad 693 00:30:05,556 --> 00:30:08,100 for accusing you of stealing my mangoes. 694 00:30:08,369 --> 00:30:10,810 Ataulfo season is really short, and it's pretty much the only fruit 695 00:30:10,811 --> 00:30:12,437 I can eat on the CoBro Diet. 696 00:30:12,437 --> 00:30:15,023 I know it was coming from a place of love. 697 00:30:15,023 --> 00:30:17,025 It wasn't, but thank you. 698 00:30:19,616 --> 00:30:21,034 Oh. 699 00:30:21,035 --> 00:30:23,663 And Loretta. [WEAK LAUGH] 700 00:30:24,048 --> 00:30:25,758 The consummate professional! 701 00:30:25,985 --> 00:30:28,737 ♪ 702 00:30:28,745 --> 00:30:30,163 But... 703 00:30:31,081 --> 00:30:33,869 CoBro knows a fellow snake when he sees one. 704 00:30:34,762 --> 00:30:38,141 [LONG HISS] 705 00:30:39,925 --> 00:30:41,244 [SHORT HISS] 706 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,011 - And Charles! - Oh, don't worry about me! 707 00:30:45,012 --> 00:30:48,599 You can skip me! I get it! You're a new man, which is exciting. 708 00:30:49,821 --> 00:30:51,989 You and I never got off on the right foot. 709 00:30:51,990 --> 00:30:53,784 - CHARLES: Nope. - And if anyone here was happy 710 00:30:53,785 --> 00:30:57,497 that I was maybe dead, I bet it was you. 711 00:30:57,996 --> 00:30:59,455 - Yeah. - I know you don't have 712 00:30:59,456 --> 00:31:02,612 many more years left to hone your craft. 713 00:31:02,613 --> 00:31:04,768 And I get that every day counts. 714 00:31:04,769 --> 00:31:07,825 And after this experience, I really get it now. 715 00:31:07,826 --> 00:31:09,077 So, 716 00:31:09,914 --> 00:31:11,332 to starting over? 717 00:31:12,791 --> 00:31:14,293 To starting over. 718 00:31:15,540 --> 00:31:16,735 Ben, you gotta take this. 719 00:31:16,736 --> 00:31:18,549 Ben, you gotta take this. 720 00:31:18,689 --> 00:31:21,636 What? Oh. Ben's gotta take this. [SCOFFS] 721 00:31:22,841 --> 00:31:24,551 Oh. Um... 722 00:31:24,551 --> 00:31:26,553 Yeah, I'll go somewhere quieter. 723 00:31:27,340 --> 00:31:30,801 Guys! I'm gonna go up to my apartment and crash, 724 00:31:30,802 --> 00:31:33,055 shower up, maybe shake off the cobwebs, 725 00:31:33,056 --> 00:31:34,956 but I'll see you this week, alright? 726 00:31:34,957 --> 00:31:36,459 Death Rattle lives! 727 00:31:36,460 --> 00:31:38,753 [CONFUSED MURMURING] 728 00:31:38,754 --> 00:31:39,964 CLIFF: Wow. 729 00:31:39,965 --> 00:31:41,734 Word is out. Ben is back. 730 00:31:41,735 --> 00:31:43,487 [DOOR OPENS, SHUTS] 731 00:31:43,488 --> 00:31:46,739 It's a hell of a story to reopen a play with, people. 732 00:31:46,740 --> 00:31:48,116 [QUIET MURMURING] 733 00:31:48,116 --> 00:31:49,651 So we're back. 734 00:31:49,839 --> 00:31:51,841 We're all back on Broadway! 735 00:31:51,912 --> 00:31:54,581 ♪ 736 00:31:54,581 --> 00:31:57,167 - [HESITANT CHATTER] - [SCATTERED APPLAUSE] 737 00:31:57,167 --> 00:31:59,880 - Congrats. You must be thrilled. - Mm. 738 00:32:00,295 --> 00:32:02,756 I said you must be thrilled. 739 00:32:02,756 --> 00:32:04,599 Ben may be back, 740 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,185 but it doesn't change the fact 741 00:32:06,186 --> 00:32:09,169 that he is a fucking asshole. 742 00:32:12,516 --> 00:32:14,560 ♪ 743 00:32:16,937 --> 00:32:19,022 [KEYS JINGLING, LOCK CLICKING] 744 00:32:19,022 --> 00:32:20,474 [DOOR UNLOCKING] 745 00:32:21,567 --> 00:32:23,068 [LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS] 746 00:32:23,068 --> 00:32:25,195 [SIGHS] 747 00:32:25,195 --> 00:32:28,198 ♪ 748 00:32:53,182 --> 00:32:56,185 [QUIET STREET NOISE OUTSIDE] 749 00:33:00,647 --> 00:33:04,958 _ 750 00:33:05,123 --> 00:33:07,872 _ 751 00:33:08,113 --> 00:33:09,552 [SENDS TEXT] 752 00:33:10,388 --> 00:33:11,992 CHARLES: I don't know what to make of any of it. 753 00:33:11,992 --> 00:33:14,453 Dead, not dead. Show, no show. 754 00:33:14,453 --> 00:33:17,122 Wait, so you're just gonna reopen the show as if nothing happened? 755 00:33:17,122 --> 00:33:18,749 Oh, please. Are you kidding? 756 00:33:18,749 --> 00:33:21,502 Donna and Cliff are gonna make a meal out of what happened. 757 00:33:21,502 --> 00:33:23,712 - Are you excited, friend? [LAUGHS] - Yeah! 758 00:33:23,712 --> 00:33:26,673 Eight shows a week! Trouper! [SIGHS] 759 00:33:26,673 --> 00:33:30,052 Oh, I forgot to ask you. Whatever happened to Joy's crazy aunt? 760 00:33:30,052 --> 00:33:32,054 Oh, she broke up with the hair transplant guy. 761 00:33:32,054 --> 00:33:33,430 Oh, that's a shock. 762 00:33:33,430 --> 00:33:36,433 Oh, and did her brother ever find out who sent the vulgar placemats? 763 00:33:36,433 --> 00:33:38,685 - Yeah, Ron. - Ron, the guy with the chin? 764 00:33:38,685 --> 00:33:42,189 Guys, this is not fair! You hang out all the time. 765 00:33:42,189 --> 00:33:45,734 I wanna know about Joy's crazy aunt and... Ron. 766 00:33:45,734 --> 00:33:46,860 - No, no, no. - Oh, Ron's insane. 767 00:33:46,860 --> 00:33:47,903 You don't wanna know about him. 768 00:33:47,903 --> 00:33:50,544 Well, let me know if he makes more placemats. 769 00:33:50,871 --> 00:33:52,623 Just don't forget about me. 770 00:33:53,063 --> 00:33:54,982 - CHARLES: Huh? - What does that mean? 771 00:33:54,983 --> 00:33:57,489 You know, I can't get over what you've done with this place. 772 00:33:57,490 --> 00:33:58,867 MABEL: Yeah, I know. 773 00:33:58,868 --> 00:34:01,143 That's what the people who bought it said, too. 774 00:34:02,704 --> 00:34:04,206 OLIVER: What? 775 00:34:04,207 --> 00:34:06,376 Your aunt sold the apartment? 776 00:34:06,547 --> 00:34:08,257 I have to be out in four weeks. 777 00:34:08,257 --> 00:34:09,800 - Seriously? - You're leaving the Arconia? 778 00:34:09,801 --> 00:34:11,865 - I know, I know, but it's... - [OLIVER SIGHS] 779 00:34:11,866 --> 00:34:15,591 it's time. I mean, I need to get my own life. 780 00:34:16,138 --> 00:34:18,598 And you can come visit me in Brooklyn. 781 00:34:18,599 --> 00:34:20,601 Or maybe Queens? 782 00:34:21,906 --> 00:34:23,533 I'll come to you. 783 00:34:24,707 --> 00:34:27,708 OLIVER: The most important part of chasing a dream 784 00:34:27,709 --> 00:34:30,361 is the people who chase alongside with you. 785 00:34:30,362 --> 00:34:32,197 So I was checking our message boards 786 00:34:32,197 --> 00:34:34,700 on our podcast site the other day, 787 00:34:34,700 --> 00:34:37,327 and people were wondering where we'd been. 788 00:34:37,327 --> 00:34:39,079 It's kinda nice to be missed. 789 00:34:39,079 --> 00:34:41,373 - Yeah, it is nice. - Yeah, it is. It is nice. 790 00:34:41,373 --> 00:34:43,584 Those who look beyond the doubters 791 00:34:43,584 --> 00:34:46,003 and choose to believe your dream will happen... 792 00:34:46,301 --> 00:34:48,005 All in good time. 793 00:34:48,005 --> 00:34:51,012 ♪ 794 00:34:51,792 --> 00:34:54,962 - I guess they fixed the elevator? - OLIVER: Hm. 795 00:34:54,963 --> 00:34:56,965 [CLEARS THROAT] Should we take it? 796 00:34:58,113 --> 00:34:59,531 I'm sort of nervous to take it. 797 00:34:59,532 --> 00:35:02,883 It's been just a gaping hole for how many hours now? 798 00:35:03,570 --> 00:35:06,094 Hey. If there's one thing I know, 799 00:35:07,258 --> 00:35:09,446 it's that we're good at living on the edge. 800 00:35:13,739 --> 00:35:15,532 OLIVER: Those who will go with you 801 00:35:15,533 --> 00:35:18,078 to help make that moment when you finally arrive 802 00:35:18,079 --> 00:35:20,664 in your own big spotlight... 803 00:35:20,665 --> 00:35:23,293 [ELEVATOR CREAKING LOUDLY] 804 00:35:23,294 --> 00:35:25,713 [METAL GRINDING] 805 00:35:25,714 --> 00:35:28,384 [GRINDING FADES, BUZZING] 806 00:35:28,385 --> 00:35:30,962 They're the only ones who matter. 807 00:35:31,375 --> 00:35:34,175 You know, Mabel, w-we couldn't have done the podcast anyway 808 00:35:34,176 --> 00:35:36,261 because Ben didn't die in the building. 809 00:35:39,931 --> 00:35:41,766 [LIQUID DRIPPING] 810 00:35:42,001 --> 00:35:45,004 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] 811 00:35:45,020 --> 00:35:46,980 [DRIPPING CONTINUES] 812 00:35:46,980 --> 00:35:48,941 Wait. What's that? 813 00:35:49,042 --> 00:35:50,752 Hm? 814 00:35:54,071 --> 00:35:57,032 [DRIPPING INCREASES] 815 00:35:57,032 --> 00:36:00,035 ♪ 816 00:36:00,035 --> 00:36:03,872 [METAL CREAKING] 817 00:36:03,872 --> 00:36:06,083 [GLASS CRACKING] 818 00:36:06,083 --> 00:36:07,415 [ELEVATOR DINGS] 819 00:36:08,852 --> 00:36:11,188 - [CRASH] - [UMA SCREAMS] 820 00:36:15,761 --> 00:36:18,540 You gotta be fuckin' kidding me. 821 00:36:20,973 --> 00:36:22,432 [MUSIC SWELLS] 822 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:23,618 [OLIVER GROWLS] 823 00:36:23,782 --> 00:36:26,782 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 58794

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