All language subtitles for Double Parked S01E05

- (GROANS, SIGHS)

- Oh. Oh. Mm.
- Sorry. Sorry, sorry.

(THE BETHS' 'CHANGE IN THE WEATHER')
- # Tunnel vision...

# staring down this long road.

- (GROANS)

- # You might as well,
when the night fell, be underground.

- (WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)

- # Shaken,

# waking...

# back into a nightmare.

# I'm swimming from
the centre of a black hole.

- (SIGHS)

- (GROANS)

- # Loving liars

# reaching out with both hands.

# If they aren't right...

- Aah!
- Oh!

- # ...then what the hell do I know?

- (GROANS)

- (SIGHS)

(MUSIC MUTES, CONTINUES UNDER)

- How was that sleep for you?

- Hmm...

Three out of 10.

- Huh. That's higher
than I thought you'd say.

- That's good.
(DOG BARKS OUTSIDE)

- That fuckin' yappy dog.
(BARKING CONTINUES)

GROANS: Ohh.

(FLY BUZZES)

- That fuckin'... yappy fly.
- That fly. That fucking fly. Oof.

- # This change... #

- I swear to God,
my Instagram algorithm is
predicting that I'm having a girl,

cos I'm only getting suggested
girl clothes.

- Crazy!
- I know!

And if they have genuinely figured
this out and spoiled it for me,

I am gonna sue Mark Zuckerberg.
- What?

- Yeah, I seriously am.
Do you know, also,

I'm getting sent heaps of clothes
with rainbows on them,

which makes me think they've
also figured out that I am gay.

But they have not figured out
that my lesbian girlfriend
is also pregnant,

so in that sense,

we have outsmarted Zuckerberg.

- Huh?
- I made you some toast.

Whoa.

- Where are you going?
- Why are you dressed like that?
- Like what?

- Like one of those boys
who hang round the car park at the
supermarket and yell things at me?

Are you going somewhere?
- Um, yeah, I just—

I don't wanna feel pregnant today,
so I'm just gonna do something
for myself. (GRUNTS)

- Oh, I didn't realise we had
a choice about that. Um, it's
the organic baby sale today.

I— I sent you a link about it.

- Oh, oh, the little clothes
that make babies look like
little graphic designers.

What time is it?
- Uh, it starts at 9,

so I've made you some toast.
You can have it in the car.
- Oh, can we go later?

- Um, no. No, we really can't.
See, their stuff is very expensive,

like, more than I would spend
on myself, and apparently,
people just go crazy for it,

so I was thinking that
we go early, skip the line.

- (SIGHS) Man, I just— I feel like
I need to move my body, you know?
Like, do a class.

- Like, a class, like, a gym class?
Like, physical exercise?
- Like, body flow.

- OK, body flow — what's that?
- Oh, it's yoga.

- OK. It sounds really good.
I suppose I could just...

go to the sale on my... own.
- (CHUCKLES) You want me to come?

- No. No, no. It's good. It's good.
It's healthy. This means that we are

both doing what we want to do,
and we are both allowed to do that.

- OK, you're doing the thing
where you speak your feelings
like you're a robot,

which makes me think
maybe you're not OK with me—

- I'm just trying to practise our
non-violent communication, actually.
- OK.

- But sure. You know what?
Just— You go.
- OK.

- But just— Can you just, like,
be sensible and not, like—
- Yah!

- Don't— Yeah, whoo-hoo. That was
a good one. And just eat something.
- (CHUCKLES) I will.

ROBOTICALLY: I love you, and I love
that you support me, and I support
you, my lovely human girlfriend.

Om! Mm! Om!

Love you!

- Are you all good?
- Hmm? Me?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, good, good, good.

How are you?
- I'm good.
- Oh cool.

Just keeping things
pretty chill today.

Just chill, chill, chill. (CHUCKLES)
- (YAWNS)
- You know...

chillaxin'. (CHUCKLES)

- Why is Steph
pretending to be relaxed?

- I don't know. Steph's trying to
get my attention about something.

- What? No, I'm not. I am sa-weet.
Everything is just, like,

cool bananas. (CHUCKLES)
- Hold on, babe. I just caught you
staring at that window

like a sick, old dog.

- Yeah. Nat was, like, supposed to
come with me to the organic
baby sale today,

but, um, apparently, she doesn't
feel like being pregnant,
so gonna have to go on my own.

I was just hoping for some backup,
because the vibe is gonna be
murderous —

like, dog eat dog.
It's bitch on bitch.

It's, like, the most intense
environment you'll ever be in.

- Wow. Will there be any,
like, home decor there?

- No.
- Mm. Skincare?

- No.
- Bedding?
- Yeah!

- But for adults?
- No.
- Mm. Then nah. Sorry.

- SIGHS: OK.
- I'll come.

- What? At the sale? Seriously?

- Yeah. I'm into the idea of
fighting off sleep-deprived mums
for cheap baby clothes.

- Yes! I've got a list,
so we'll just be in and out,
like, quick as a flash.

- OK, sweet. Ooh! This kinda
taps into my competitive side,
but in a healthier way.

- Oh, Johnny. Yes!

- Gonna make a great team, Steph.
- I'll— I'll come.

Yeah. I'll come.
- You just said you
didn't wanna come.

- Yeah, but... I should.
I should come.

- OK. Well, great. Come along!
The more the merrier. Go, team!

OK, we're going to the sale!
So, you, get dressed.

You, in the car, Johnny —
five minutes. We're off!

- Five minutes?
- Oh, what? OK.

- Nama-slay. Ladies,

this class is 60 minutes
of low-impact flow...

working consciousness, presence...
and mindfulness.

- This is body flow—

- It's a chance for us to be.

For what are we but, um...

human...
- ALL: ...beings.
- ...beings.

- Beings.
- Yeah, that's right.

Hey, wow. Blessings, sis.
Stand up for me.

- Me?
- Yeah, stand up. (EXHALES SHARPLY)

Wow. A human growing another human
just (EXHALES) blows my mind.

May I?
- Uh— Uh...

- Ohh. Whoa.

You know, I never underestimate
the power of, um, wahine toa.

- SOFTLY: Thank you.
- I want you to
take it easy today, OK?

- Oh, I'm just quite—
- We'll have a few options for you
as we move through together, yeah?

- Well, no— no, I don't wanna take it
easy. I wanna go— I wanna go hard.

I'd like— I wanna go hard as—
- All right, everyone. On your feet.

- (SIGHS)

- Breathing in through
our vaginas...
- What?

- ...and out into
the presence of now.

(ALL EXHALE HEAVILY)

(BABY FUSSES, INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- Oh wow. You were not kidding
about the vibe in here.

- Yes, Naomi. I— (GROANS)
I have the organic muslins!

- I feel like someone's
gonna get shivved.
- Oh my God.

OK. OK, let's do this. So...

I need you to put your hands, like,
really deep inside all the boxes,

like, right down to the bottom,
cos there will definitely be

really good stuff
hiding right at the bottom.
And I also got this tip-off

that sometimes the sizes
get really mixed up,

so that means you have to look
through every single one —
like, every single box.

- Wait, is all of this
just for baby clothes?
- Organic baby clothes, Johnny.

And these bitches will
stop at nothing, which means
that we have to be ruthless.

If it's the right size, you get it.
- God. Thank God you're off caffeine.

- OK, so, Johnny, I want you
on rompers, playsuits and leggings.

- Sure. What are those?
- It's all on the reference sheets.

- Oh. Jesus. Impressive.
- Yeah, I would've got it laminated,
but I ran out of time.

Lily, I would like you on blankets,
swaddles and wraps.

- Right. That all sounds like
cafe food.

- And I will do everything else.
So shall we meet back here
in 25 minutes?

- Yeah.
- OK. Let's do this!

- (CHUCKLES)

(CHILD SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

- Ooh, that is a bit of me.
That is cute.

I reckon that could fit me.
(CHUCKLES)

Um, excuse me.

Excuse me. Do you—
Would you like this?

- Yeah, just go really deep
in there. That's amazing.
I don't know how you're doing it.

Phenomenal form, sis. Wow.
(CLICKS TONGUE, WHISTLES)

- Um, hey, Blair?

You think I'm gonna be able to do
some of the more active stuff

rather than just sort of
sitting here and breathing?

- Why don't you just,
um, spend this time just
focusing on your breath, eh?

Think of the breath as
a river mouth, widening and opening.

Is the water deep? Is it cold?

- Was that a question? I don't
really know what you're saying

or how to answer that.

- Mm. I'm sensing a...
(BREATHES SHARPLY) spiritual block.

Is there a door that you can focus
on opening just to allow yourself

to be present
and in this moment with us today?

- Nothing you're saying is making
sense to me. I'm so sorry. I don't...

- OK. Hey, everyone, why don't we
just allow ourselves to be
open and free?

Be vulnerable with yourselves, OK?
Just— Just let it all out.

Whatever that noise
sounds like to you.

OK, so I want everyone to breathe in
through their vaginas

and out through their trauma.

- Aaargghh!

- CRIES: Dad, why did you leave me?

- (SIGHS)

- (SIGHS) 1 to 2 years.

2 to 3 years. Oh, hey.

Um, I am just looking for rompers
aged 0 to 3 months.

- We were hit really hard
this morning.

Like, an ambush of feral pregnant
women that will stop at nothing
to get what they want.

Sorry, yes, Naomi? Yes. Coming.

- SIGHS: OK.

Oh, that's mine! That's my box.
Yeah, that's... that's all my box.

Yeah.

Keep your wits about you. Steph.
You are surrounded by thieves.

- I just found this whole box
on that back table. I think they're
trying to hide stock for later on.

- Seriously? See, I knew it.
I knew that sales assistant
was gaslighting me.

Johnny, this is excellent work.
Thank you.

- Hey, I spied some lambskin
booties back there too.
- Did you?

- Yeah.
- OK, go. Go and get them.
Go and get all of them.

Yeah, yeah. But do it
really stealthily!

- Right.
- OK.

- Ooh, hey, Johnny!
Johnny. You know what?

I thought this was gonna be
so boring, but I have made, like,
four friends and a couple of enemies.

But hey, do you think Steph
would like this?
- Ohh, that's cute.

Oh, but these are domes.
Nah, I think she wants buttons.

- OK, check you out.
- Shut up.
- (CHUCKLES)

I feel like you're really
coming into your little daddy era.

- Oh. Hey, did you know that babies,
when they sleep, they have to wear
these little mittens

over their hands so they
don't scratch themselves with their
tiny little fingernails? Oh my God.

- (CHUCKLES)

- Wow. (CHUCKLES)
Got a lot of good scores in here.

- Yeah.
- Mm.

So... when are you two
lovebirds due?

- Oh, no, no, sorry. This is—
- Oh, um, three months to go now.

- Oh wow.
- Yeah. It's one of those
surprise babies, you know?

It's like, 'Whoo! Hello!' But yeah,
that's why it's not so obvious,

cos it's actually growing
up the back, up my spine.
- Yeah.

- Oh. Um, wow. Congratulations.

- Hi!
- Hey.

- Well, I hope Nat's body flow class
was worth it, because this has been
incredible!

- (BREATHES ANXIOUSLY)
- OK, everyone, give her some space.

- I just wanted to move. I just
wanted to move my body. That's
all I wanted to do this morning!

- You're not giving birth, are you?
- No, I'm having a panic attack!

- OK, well, maybe just
focus on your breathing again.

- That's what gave me
the panic attack in the first place!

You know what? I need to
go and get some fresh air.

- Look, you just need to
flow through the block.

- No, you need to stop making up yoga
poses and just get a modelling agent.
You're gorgeous.

Nama-slay, nama-slay, nama-slay.

- Wow. That is some...
negative energy there, eh?

(EXHALES SHARPLY)
Not ready for motherhood. (CHUCKLES)

- Oh my God. I think that was
literally the best day

I have ever had in my life.
Look! Look at our bounty!

- I still stand by just chucking
them in little uniforms every day,
right, like the von Trapps.

- God, look at this one.
It's so cute!

- Such a good find, eh?
Although I did have to steal it
from someone when they...

- Oh, that doesn't matter. They
obviously didn't want it enough.

- And I'm so glad I did actually
treat myself to this.

- Yes. Me too.
It looks incredible on you.

- Mm. Thank you.
Feels incredible too.

- How was body flop?

- Body... flow.

Body flow.
- Flow. Sorry, flow.
- Yeah. Body flow was good.

It was hard. You know, good kind of
hard, which... which I like.

- Great. Well, that's... really
good. I'm really happy for you.

- Cool that you guys went to
the, uh, sale together.

- Yeah. I couldn't have done it
without them, because it was
pretty wild.

- Mm. I just didn't realise
it was gonna become, like, a group
shopping spree without me, you know?

- Babe, you specifically said
that you didn't wanna come.

(BLENDER WHIRRS)

- Oh!
- Ooh.

- WHISPERS: In through the nose,
out through the vagina.

(EXHALES SHARPLY) In through
the nose, out through the vagina.

- Is that what you...
learned at body flop?

- Not now.
- Fl— Flow. Flow. Body flow.

- (GRUNTS LIGHTLY)

- (INHALES SLOWLY)

(EXHALES SLOWLY)

- (GRUNTS, SNIFFS)

- OK, OK. How about we just try
sleeping in separate beds?

- Absolutely not.

- Please. Just for
a good quality sleep.

- Are you breaking up with me?
- What?

- In small, manageable steps
so I don't notice?
- No.

- First, it's separate beds, and
then it's, like, separate family,
separate living arrangements...

- OK, OK. How about if we just
have separate duvets, then?

- MOANS: No.

Just share everything.
- It is how they do it
in Scandinavia —

throughout Scandinavia.
- Don't bring your European
influences into this bedroom.

What do you need from me?
What do you want me to do?
- What do I need? OK.

I literally need more room
and to not feel you move, so...

- OK. OK. We can do this.

Watch. I'll just go all the way
to the side here.

How's this? It'll be like
sleeping with a statue.

- OK, fine, fine.
But if this doesn't work,

and I still don't get a good night's
sleep, I am putting my foot down
tomorrow.

- Stop talking to me,
weird lady. I'm a statue.
- Ugh.

Wow, that was...

a really long night.
- Mm.

I think our bed's getting smaller.
- Yeah, definitely feels like that.

SIGHS: OK.

Let's do this.

You OK being pregnant today? Cos
I've been hogging the role lately,

and you deserve some time
in the limelight.

- You're so good at it,
though, you know?

You're like the star of antenatal.
Everyone wants your autograph.

- Well, that may be true, but you
still need to learn how to do it.

- Nah, I'll be all right. You're
going through it first, so I'll just
do what I did in high school —

look over your shoulder,
copy your homework.
- Why are you resisting this?

- I just...

hate sitting amongst that group
of straight women, you know?

They all look at me
with that weird smile.
- What smile?

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

(LAUGHS) And I feel uncomfortable.

- OK, well, don't worry about them,
cos this is for us,

and we are swapping roles, OK?

- You're just jealous of the rapport
I got with the lads.
My ante-nate mates!

My ante-nate bros!
- Yeah, that's it.
You really got me there.

- Now, support people, make sure
you're really supporting
your partner's back, OK,

allowing them to fully relax.

- Oi. You're supposed to be
my support person.

- WHISPERS: Sorry. Yep.
- I thought the whole point of this
was that I have a go this time.

- Yep, it is.

- What are you doing?

- What?
- What are you doing?

- Oh, I was just giving these
a warm wash.
- Pardon?

- A warm wash.

I dunno. I just thought
Nat and Steph could use a hand.

- Oh. But they're brand-new clothes,
right? Like, isn't that the point

of buying new clothes?
You don't have to wash them first.

- You are such a rookie, mate.
Honestly. Look how little these are.

I can't believe
their tiny little bodies
actually fit into these clothes.

- (CLUCKS QUIETLY)

- What are you doing?
- You know what I'm doing.
It's a chicken.

Because you're clucky.
- OK.

(LAUGHS)

(GENTLE MUSIC)

- My midwife's getting me in for
a stretch-and-sweep next week.
She's got these massive fingers.

Honestly, it's like five sausages
at the end of a slab of steak
or something,

and I'm like, 'Is that thing
gonna go inside my body?'

- Bro, that game was so good.

- STEPH: 'Ooh, I have.' (LAUGHS)
- I did. Yeah. (LAUGHS) Exactly.
- Yeah.

- Not talking sports and barbecue
with the boys this week, Nat?
- (CHUCKLES)

No, no, no, no. I thought I'd just,
you know, hang out and learn about
the sweep-and-stretch

and the old hypnotising
birthing and the—
- Hyp-no-birthing.

- That.
- Hypnobirthing, yeah.
- Must be kinda nice

having a partner that's actually
going through it too,
and at the same time.

- Yeah...
- Yeah.

- Sort of.
- Yeah, no. Yeah, you would...
- I guess.

...think that it is. And it is in...
- ...in some ways.

And then in others...
- Many ways. And...

- ...not so much.
- More challenging as well.
- Yeah.

Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- But there's no one
more empathetic, right,
than another pregnant woman.

I mean, take Mark. He has got
no idea what I'm going through.

He tries to be all supportive, and
it's just— Ugh. It's so annoying
to me for some reason, you know?

- Got your cup of tea...
and your favourite biscuit.

- Well, did you get one
for these guys?

- Oh, no, that— that—
I'm fine. I'm fine.
- Nah, I'm good.

- No, it's not. What do you want?

- Um, maybe, like, a herbal tea,
if there is one.
- I'm on it.

- Oh, I'm good, bro. Thank you.

- (SNORES FRUSTRATEDLY) See?

Ugh.

He's on the couch at the moment,
so at least that's something.
- Is he?

- Oh God, yeah.
You have got to put yourself first.

If I wasn't getting sleep at the
moment, I'd actually kill him.

- They only had peppermint.
I hope that's OK.

- Oh, yes, totally fine.
Thank you so much.

- It's actually not OK, Mark.

I'm kidding.
- Oh.
(LAUGHTER)

- Or am I? Aargh!

- Ooh.
- Oh. Whoa.

- (LAUGHS)
- (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

- Fucker.
- (CHUCKLES)

- Mm.
- (SMOOCHES)

- Babe, I'm sorry. I— I feel...

so unsexy at the moment.
I feel like a ham-filled roll

that's been in a cafeteria window,
like, all day in direct sun.

- Beth said that it would be
a good idea for us.

- Tell me honestly.

Do you actually have
any sex drive at the moment?

- No.
- Are you just doing this
to be good at antenatal?

- Yeah.

- Then we're fine. We'll just
have sex when we're horny, OK?

(KISSES) Night.

(BOTH GROAN, SIGH)

(SNIFFS, CLEARS THROAT)

MUTTERS: This frickin' bed... Ugh.
So uncomfortable...

(GROANS)

- No, no, I can't stand it.

I am putting my foot down.

I am on the verge of having
a complete mental breakdown.

We have to put ourselves first.
And I just cannot do this
for one more night.

- (SIGHS) Oh babe.

No.
- Yes. We need to sleep.
We need to be in separate beds, Nat.

- Steph... It just...

It makes me feel like
we're in a bad place.

- Nat. Please.
- (EXHALES SHARPLY)

- Look at me. Look in my eye,
and now tell me —

do you really think
that we're in a bad place?

- No.
- OK.

Well, that's good.
- Mm.

- So let's get some sleep.

- Just one night?
- Yeah, just one. Just one.

- (SIGHS HEAVILY)
OK. We do need sleep.
- OK. (KISSES)

Thank you.
- No, no, no. It's...

I'll go. I'll go.
I can sleep in Johnny's room.

I'll make Johnny give me his bed.
He can sleep on the couch.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah.

- Goodnight.

(GENTLE ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS HEAVILY)

(KNOCK AT DOOR)
- Yo.

Yeah. All good.

One sec.

There you go. All yours, mate.
- (CHUCKLES) Thanks, mate.

- You OK?
- Yeah. We're just... tired.

- Mm.

OK. Sweet dreams.

Don't go through my stuff.
- Oh, I will. Can't wait. (CHUCKLES)

- Night.
- Night.

- # I was tempted...

- # Ooh, ooh.

- # ...tempted by your smile.

# I was tempted.

- # Ooh, ooh.

- # And for a little while,

# I was certain...

- # Ooh, ooh, ooh.

- # ...that I will be
the one to change you,

# and you will be mine.

- # You will be mine.

- Comfy?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

- OK.

Just come crash with me.

- # I was tempted.

# The promises, the lies...

# just keep hurtin'.
- # They just keep on hurtin'.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Please.

Welcome.

- # And you won't be mine.

- (CLEARS THROAT)

- # No, you won't be mine.

(WALTZING MUSIC CONTINUES)

(CELL PHONE VIBRATES RAPIDLY)

- Hello.
- NAT: Hi.

- Well, that didn't last very long.

- Feels weird going to bed
without you.

- I know.

- I just wanted to say goodnight.

- Goodnight.

- Night.

I love you.

- # How could I believe you...

# fooled and ashamed?

# I was tempted.

- # Ooh, tempted.

- # But tempted I'm no more.

# I attempted...

- # Ooh...

- # ...what was never done before.

# Drop the curtain.

- # Drop the curtain... #