All language subtitles for Breeders s04e03 No Age.eng

Mm.

Gave us a load of free ones
'cause I told them that it's...

- Told them what?
- Mm-mm.

Just... how much we
like condiments. Mm.

[clears throat]

- This is nice.
- Hmm.

[worker] Two
haddock, one saveloy!

Oh. Oh, this is good fish.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Batter's good and all.

And the chips.

- Good chips. Good, um...
- Good color.

Thank you. Not too pale.

Look, you all wanted
me to do something,

so this is something
we're doing, so let's just

get this done and
forget about it, okay?

Move on. Great.

But, Mum, your 50th
birthday, though, isn't...

Can you... You don't
need to keep saying it.

- What?
- The fucking number, Luke.

You know what? Fucking 50.

Can you pass me one of the
5 billion vinegars, please?

Thanks very much.
For fuck's sake.

[worker] Uh, two fish
pies, one cod roe!

Would have thought you'd have
a bit of fish today, Luke.

- Special occasion.
- He's a vegetarian.

Mm. Fish, though. I mean...

Fish actually grieve their dead.

- Do they?
- They release a stress hormone.

Jesus Christ, Luke.

Sorry. Hasan says
it's your 50th, love.

Happy birthday.

- Well...
- [Hasan] Happy birthday!

The big 5-0! Yay!

Hey, thanks, everyone.

[Hasan] One steak
pie, two cod!

- You gonna try 'em on?
- I'm mid gingernut.

Well, I can't stand looking
at those other things anymore.

They turn my stomach.

There's nothing
wrong with these.

They make you look
like you never bathe,

like a hippie or a squirrel.

You can wear your new shoes
to your 80th party, Granddad.

There's not enough
time to break them in.

Brogues are notoriously stiff.

No one's ever run a
marathon in Brogues.

We're getting our
photo taken tomorrow.

They've got a photographer
coming in. Professional.

He took one of those photos
of Dodi and Diana on the boat,

but he mainly does
this sort of thing now.

- [doorbell rings]
- I'll get it.

[door opens]

Hello.

Oh. Holly. I'm here
to do Jim's hair.

Am I coming in, or is
he gonna stick his head

around the door,
and I'll do it here?

Oh, sorry.

Uh... Okay. Your vehicle
breaks down in a tunnel.

- Spooky.
- What would do you do first?

A, get out of the car
and stand behind it

to show other drivers
that you're not moving?

Obviously not. That
is... That's mental.

B, switch on your hazards and
call your breakdown company.

[horn honks]

- All right, shit.
- Okay. Please pass, Luke.

Please. I just... I don't
wanna be one of those mums

that gives birth on
the floor of a bus.

Don't worry. I will pass.

- Love you.
- Love you, too.

Okay.

[exhales deeply]
Thanks for this.

You're welcome, mate. Mate,
do... do you want to drive?

Um, no, I should... I'll
keep revising in the car.

- Right.
- [sighs]

Okay.

It's quite a process.

She's gonna blast me ends in
a minute with the men's dryer.

I got a special hair
dryer for the guys.

They got stronger hair,
haven't they, men?

Only need a little
breeze for the ladies.

Knock 'em over, otherwise.

I'm just gonna walk
round the perimeter.

One of the great
English walks, that.

[Ava] Bye, Granny.

- 15 and some shrapnel.
- Oh.

I'm afraid the accumulator
didn't come up, though.

Hey, 15 quid's not bad
at all. Thanks, Holly.

I can't get to the bookies'
now, so Holly goes for me.

Okay. This whole thing
makes more sense now.

What?

He's only got,
like, eight hairs.

- Ooh.
- And I'm working my magic

on all eight of them,
thank you very much.

- She can do yours after.
- But only eight?

Yeah, you've got to
pick your favorites.

[chuckles]

You got great hair. I
could do yours for real.

I'm always after people to
practice on for sixth form.

Thank you, Holly.

Holly's helpin' organize
my 80th birthday party.

You two should swap numbers.

Chat sausage rolls and
quiche and whatnot.

Yeah, go on then. Stick
your number in there.

- [sighs] Buckle up, Jim.
- [hair dryer turns on]

And you've come to us via the...

- [watch beeps]
- inimitable Darren?

Ah, yeah. There can only
be one Darren, thank God.

[both chuckle]

- [watch beeps]
- And he's your business partner?

- Silent partner?
- I mean, silent's the goal.

Yeah, if I can get him to
shut up for five minutes.

[both chuckle]

- Oh, your coffee.
- Gosh.

Mm.

Wow. Thanks.

Thank you. Thanks.

Ooh.

Is that for me,
too? Thanks. Thanks.

It's lovely.

Thanks.

Thanks. Thank you.

- [watch beeps]
- Please.

So, we're super keen to
throw open the doors here,

get as much wisdom in
the room as possible.

Sorry. You okay?

Yeah. Yeah, no, I was...

I'm just gonna let it
cool down for a bit

'cause it's very, very,
very hot. [chuckles]

- What we're excited by...
- [watch beeping]

is the sheer breadth
of your experience.

We think that that is something

- we could really feed from here.
- [watch beeps]

Great. Well, I
would love to, um...

well... [stammers] feed
you, I suppose. [chuckles]

- [chuckles]
- That's great.

- Mm.
- Yeah. She's great.

- Yeah.
- [watch beeps]

Mmm, that smells complicated.

- How was it?
- I got it. They love me.

- Oh! Great. Well done.
- [laughs]

They offered me the
job on the spot.

They didn't even wanna
see the other candidates.

Ah, mate, well, that
calls for a drink.

Uh, Luke has some
good news, too.

- Oh, yeah.
- I, uh, I passed my theory.

Oh, Luke, that's amazing.
You must be so relieved.

- Yeah, I am.
- Oh.

Still gotta do my
practical, though.

Oh, you'll be fine.

[Paul] Um, Maya, is apple
juice all right for you?

[Maya] Yeah, yeah. Thanks.

Did you get one of these?

What am I looking at?

It's a walking holiday,
Paul. Look at them.

They seem very happy.

This is my demographic now,

these guys. Swimming
costume off.

I'm going on holiday in a
fucking cagoule now, am I?

Look, just chuck it.

It's junk. I get that
stuff all the time.

- Am I on some sort of register?
- Fuckin' hope not.

Oh, they're gonna try and
sell me a little chair

for the shower
next, aren't they?

Oh, sounds fucking
lovely, to be fair.

- [sighs]
- I'll take them.

- Yeah.
- Ah, shit, just remembered.

I've got to get more booze for
Dad's thing. Drink up. Drink up.

You know he started having
his hair done regularly?

- Mm.
- Can you get a blue rinse

for a bald head?

Holly says no one
has them anymore.

They all get this demi
wave thing because

your hair thins as you age.
You lose, like, 70% volume.

Holly says it's better
just to chop it off

after a certain point.
It's just wisps otherwise.

- Right. Uh...
- Holly's granddad's hairdresser.

Well, not just Granddad's.
She does all of them.

She's paying her way
through sixth form.

She's full-time now.
Well, four days a week.

Right. A toast...
[chuckles] to Mum and Luke.

- Aw.
- Mum and Luke.

Yes.

Hey, mate, play
your cards right,

you'll be driving her to
work on her first day.

[photographer] Lovely.

Just look over to
me again, Bobby.

How long is this gonna take?

Well, they can't rush it,
Jim. It's a proper portrait.

Portrait? Who am I,
Henry the fucking VIII?

Hello.

I don't know why you won't
put your new shoes on.

Jesus, Jackie, they're not gonna
get me shoes in it, are they?

- It'll be from the knees up.
- But what if it isn't?

What if it's, you
know, what's it called?

- Full frontal?
- Full length.

- All right, Holly.
- Hello.

I'm gonna give
Leslie a quick zhuzh.

She doesn't need a zhuzh.
She needs a defibrillator.

- Hmm.
- [photographer] Lovely bow tie.

Be nice for Luke and Ava to
have a proper photo of us.

They've already got one of
us in Mitcham at the carvery.

[scoffs] What, and
you'd want that printed

alongside your
obituary, would you?

[gasps] Look, Jimmy's
getting his shoe in it.

Big smile! Excellent.

Oh, I don't know why you
won't put your shoes...

Because they're me last
shoes, aren't they?

I've had these ones seven years,

so the next pair
will be me last.

- They're a dead man's shoes.
- Just a pair of shoes.

It's the pair of shoes
I'm gonna be buried in.

[photographer] Thank
you. How's everything?

Well, I'm not burying
you in those old ones.

I'd rather you went in
barefoot or in my slippers.

I can't put the new ones
on, Jackie. Not yet.

[photographer] Right. Let's
try a fun one, shall we?

- [laughs] That's brilliant.
- Oh, for crying out loud.

[photographer] Can I have
the next victim, please?

[door opens, indistinct
conversations]

Hey. Are... Are they finished?

Oh, no, they're still queuing.

Is Mr. January doing
his nude shots?

[laughs] Yes. It's getting
very steamy in there.

- [chuckles]
- I was gonna get a tea

- if you want one.
- Sure.

Susie's back in town!
Hooray! [laughs]

What was it? A
wedding? Any good?

Oh, six out of 10.
Could do better.

Ooh. God, you forget the
vicar might be judging you.

Well, they didn't bring out
those canap�s quick enough.

It's like, I'm not
saying long, lads.

- Get the arancini balls movin'!
- [chuckles]

I only started coming
for a bit of extra cash,

but turns out I love old people.

They are excellent, the
ones I know, anyway.

They're just so good at
chilling. Look at 'em.

They've been there for hours,
just lookin', thinkin',

appreciatin' the small
things, you know?

Is it possible that they
can't actually get up?

Maybe we should
check their pulses.

[laughs] Are you disrespecting
Gwen and Michael?

You're lucky Gwen ain't
got her hearing aids in.

[laughs]

That's all I want. You
know, simple stuff.

Nice house.

Nice girlfriend. Nice dog.

I've always wanted a dog, but
it wouldn't be fair on it.

Living in a city?

- No, living with my dad.
- [laughs]

- So, what you do for fun?
- I don't know.

I've never been
great at having fun.

- Maybe I'm too serious.
- Uh, bollocks. You're hilarious.

But I mean, you
should have a hobby.

- Like what?
- I don't know. Pick one.

Uh... roller skatin'?

- Roller skatin'?
- Yeah.

I haven't been either, so...

we could... break
our legs together?

They're probably done by now,
and I said I... I should go in.

Yeah, okay. Well, I'll...
see you at the party, then.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Bag. [chuckles]

- [bartender] Afternoon, love.
- Hi, can I...

- What can I get you?
- A red wine, please.

[cellphone rings]

[sighs]

Hi, Darren. Yeah. No, yeah,
it went brilliantly, thanks.

Yeah. Oh, did they?
Oh, that's good.

Sorry. What do you mean?

Are you joking me?

You better be fucking
joking me, Darren.

[inhales and exhales deeply]

I don't even think I
should look, really,

you know, until I've passed.

Well, you're not gonna
jinx yourself by staring

at a Renault Clio
for 10 minutes.

Sort of want to know
who the owner was.

Yeah, you probably don't.

- How we gettin' on?
- Jesus.

Uh, yeah, just
looking. Cheers. Yeah.

Yeah, for you, is it? Little
back and forth to uni?

Just want the
safest one, really.

- It's, uh, it's for a baby.
- Don't let a baby drive it,

for God's sake. They
haven't really got

the hand-eye
coordination for that.

- Well, that's exciting stuff.
- Hmm.

Yeah. Congratulations.

So, we're just gonna have
a little, uh, mooch about.

You're gonna wanna
look at boot space.

- Gotcha.
- Yeah. Babies need a lot of kit.

- Right. [chuckles]
- Honestly, whether you're

going out for three
hours or three weeks,

- it's the same amount of stuff.
- Yeah.

- Come on. Let's have a look.
- Why did you...

No, we're not buying this one.

You could fit in
there, you could,

and he's gonna want
to, isn't he, Dad, hey?

Get a bit of peace
and quiet. Come on.

Let's have a poke around
at her insides, shall we?

- I'm gonna fucking kill him!
- Well, I'll be your alibi.

Well, they'll believe
me because privilege.

- And he definitely knew before?
- Yeah, they told him 'cause

they've had shit from their HR
guys about ageism or whatever,

so he's wheeled me
in like a rescue hag.

They just needed someone
over my... my age.

- Over 50?
- [groans]

[chuckles] You're gonna have
to say it at some point.

Let's get another 50
bottles of this, then.

- All right, I'm on it.
- Nearly done.

Did anything grab
you back there?

Quite like the idea of
being locked in a boot.

[chuckles] No, me, too.

A cross between a
spa and a kidnapping.

- You're driving.
- What?

- Ta.
- No...

[sighs]

- You all right?
- Yeah. Just, um... sometimes

feel like my elbows get in
the way. Where... Where...

- Where do you put yours?
- Where do I put them?

- Yeah.
- In the glove compartment.

That way I know where
they are. Oh, right.

He's... He's letting you out,
so do you want to go right here?

- Yeah.
- Great.

[Paul] Good, good,
good. Thanks, mate.

Lovely.

Very good. Very good, mate.

Just pick up your
speed a little bit.

Uh, this is a really fast road.

It's not really fast.
It's a... It's a 30,

so just... yeah, put...
put your foot down, mate.

Dad, I can't. I
need... I need to stop.

Luke, Luke, just calm down. Keep
going straight along this road.

- Shit. I can't. Dad, I can't.
- No, you don't... Just...

- I... I need to pull over.
- Luke, you don't have

- to pull over, darling.
- Listen to what I'm telling you.

Dad, I can't do it!

Luke, calm the fuck down
just for a second, mate.

- There's no need to pull over.
- I'm not doing that.

Luke, carry on now.
Don't fucking stop.

[horn honks in distance]

- [car door closes]
- [exhales deeply]

- You all right?
- [sighs] Can't do it, Dad.

Well, it would help if
you sat in the actual car.

No, I mean, I
can't do any of it.

I'm not... I'm not ready.

Well, you're gonna have
to be, aren't you, Luke?

Because it's happening, son,

and it's happening
pretty fucking soon.

So I just... I learn to
drive, and then I get a car,

and then... I'm just
a dad then, am I?

Basically, yes.

It's scary. I know.
I'm still scared.

That bit never goes.

- All right, what should I say?
- Short and sweet.

Just, "Fuck off."

- Yeah.
- Subject heading. nothing else.

Perfect. That'll just
really freak 'em out.

Your skills are wasted on Jesus.

"Fuck off."

- Send.
- [cellphone clatters]

You don't have to feel ready
for it, 'cause no one does.

You just... uh...
You just do it.

You get up in the morning,

and you... you just
do it best you can.

And some days it will be...

Uh... well, it'll be
fucking horrific...

[laughs] to be
honest with you.

You'll wanna put your head
through a wall, but...

much of the time...

it'll feel magical, mate.

Like you're gonna meet
this little person,

and you are going
to lose your mind

in the most brilliant way.

And listen, don't forget, mate,

me and Mum will be with
you every step of the way.

We can still be the grownups
when you need us to be. Okay?

[cellphone chimes]

Now, come on.

Mum said she's had
three bottles of wine

and not enough crisps.

[whimsical music
playing over computer]

- Mm, this bit. Wait, hang on.
- [cat meows on video]

[laughs] Yeah, this is it.

[cellphone buttons clicking]

[whimsical music, meowing
continues on video]

- Who are you messaging?
- No one.

You're... You're
smiling at your phone.

It's just for Granddad's thing.

Someone from the
sheltered housing.

She's called Holly. She's
the hairdresser there.

- She's very funny.
- [laughs] Oh, my God.

- What?
- You like her.

What? I don't... No! Stop it.

- Ava!
- It's really nothing, Grace.

Don't make it weird.

[cellphone buttons
resume clicking]

[messaging bloops]

I mean, you are literally

holding your phone
to your heart.

- [cellphone clatters]
- [chuckles]

- Hi, darling.
- Hi!

- Nice time?
- Ah, so nice.

How's Susie?

- So nice!
- Good.

So nice.

[seat belt clunking]

[Ally grunts]

You all right?

- Fine.
- [seat belt clacking]

- I'm just gonna hold it.
- No, don't hold it. Just...

Ooh! You coming in
for a little kissy?

No, 'cause you're 40%
proof, aren't you, babe?

Right. Can I just get
under your ass? Thank you.

Oh, don't go in it. Ahh!

- [laughs]
- [sighs and chuckles]

- Okay.
- [seat belt clicks]

- [sighs] I quit that job.
- Excuse me?

Yeah, I'm not doing that,

looking at me like
I'm fucking 90,

and I don't want to
work there, anyway.

They've got weird space coffee.

It's very hot in here. Where's
the wind-y window thingy?

There isn't a windy...
When did you quit this job?

Just now. I wrote a
really good email.

Susie edited-it-it... it.

- Susie edited it.
- Susie did?

- Yeah.
- Great.

Two piss-heads are
better than one.

- Oh, my God! Luke is driving!
- Yeah, uh...

Yep. Don't put him off.
He's doing really well.

- Can you slow it down a second?
- Yeah, please.

[moans] I feel a bit sick.

[laughs]

One, two, three,
four, five, six.

I love toast.

Give me some toast.
I love toast.

I haven't got time
to wait for that.

I'll be dead soon, won't I?

Everything's... Oh.

Yes, Queens!

Hi, Ally.

- [laughs]
- Steady.

[Ally] It's fun.

Is she okay?

Yeah. She's just
feeling a bit 50.

Oh. [moans]

Oh, God.

[chuckles] Fuck.
And there it is.

The reason that we don't
drink like that anymore.

Oh, God. Was I horrific?

Yeah. No. You... You were
very merry, actually,

for someone who's just
told their new boss

to fuck off and done a
little sick out the car.

- Fuck. What is wrong with me?
- Ah, nothin'.

I hate turning 50.
I wanna turn back.

Look, I... I wasn't keen
on 50 when it hit either,

but I know this is a clich�.

It's a lot better
than the alternative.

Mm.

Everything's going
too fast. I can't...

- Yeah.
- [sighs]

I sort of feel like
we've had the good bit.

Do you know what I mean? But...

I don't know what
I'm doing anymore.

- I miss Luke.
- Mm-hmm.

I mean, I'm gonna be
a fucking grandma.

That just sounds weird.

That's like saying I'm gonna
be a... horse or something.

- Nay.
- [laughs]

[laughs] Fuck off.
Ow. I can't laugh.

Ow. [laughs]

Right, I'm going to pop
out and pick up some things

for Dad's birthday do, okay?

So, just sleep, Shergar. Sleep.

[chuckles]

Fuck off.

[clicks tongue]

[sighs]

[grunting]

[grunts]

[wheezes]

[exhales deeply]

Pushes all the air out
of me, tying me laces.

[grunts]

You look very handsome.

[exhales deeply]

Shall we?

- [Ally] God, it's so quiet.
- [Luke] Mm.

Old people generally
are, I think.

- Luke, do you wanna open it?
- Yes.

- After you.
- Right. Thanks.

- Surprise!
- [cheering]

- Oh!
- Happy 130th.

Oh, my God.

Wow. Okay. Okay.

Two "okay" s? That's
potentially not okay.

This is very brave, Paul.

Yeah, the fucking adrenaline
walking up the street.

- [sighs]
- Uh, look, 80 plus 50. That's...

- 130, yeah.
- Yeah.

- That number's not bad, is it?
- Um...

- Ava.
- [Ava] Hello.

Do you hate it?

No, no, I don't hate it.
I love it. It's... It's...

It's brilliant. Thank you.

- Happy birthday, Mum.
- Oh, thanks. [chuckles]

[applause]

- Happy birthday.
- [chuckles]

Happy birthday, Jim. [laughs]

Happy birthday,
Ally. [chuckles]

They get better
as you get older.

- That's a lie. They get worse.
- [chuckles]

- Happy birthday, darling.
- Oh, thank you.

- Mm.
- Thanks so much. Oh. Hey!

Well done, darling,
putting on a brave face.

[lowered voice] Put me
in one of these places,

- I'll fucking kill you.
- Wow. Good to know. Okay.

[sighs]

Thank you. [chuckles]
I love you.

I love you, too.

- [resident] Whoa!
- [residents gasp]

Yeah. All right. Don't all
pretend like you're not

all at it like rabbits.
I saw it on Panorama.

Hey, um, listen, I'm... I'm so
sorry for quitting that job.

You just... You can't
put a price on pride.

No, I know. But if you
could put a price on it...

[inhales sharply] 15 grand
for two months' work.

- Really?
- Yeah.

You can't be angry
with me, though,

'cause it's my party.

- Okay.
- [laughs]

[grunts]

- Uh, I'm gonna pick up tea.
- Okay.

- Or a sherry.
- [Ally laughs]

Hi, Mum.

[exhales deeply]
80. Bloody hell.

It's a lot of years.

[mouth full] It goes by very
fast, Ava. Lightnin' speed.

You can't hang about.

Got to grab life by
the short and curlies,

if I'm still
allowed to say that.

I think you are.

[singer vocalizing]

[vocalizing continues
in distance]

[vocalizing grows louder]

[vocalizing continues
in distance]

Hey.

Hey. Sorry. Just
had to get away

from the intense
partying for a bit.

Holly, would you like
to go on a date with me?

Yeah. I'd... I'd
like that a lot.

Good.

May I kiss you?

You absolutely fucking may.

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