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1
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:31,510
Fran! Fran! Fran!
2
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:41,115
Bernard, Bernard!
3
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,396
There you are.
Wait till you hear this.
4
00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:48,077
No, me first. I can't hold onto
this one. My story goes first.
5
00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:50,913
� No! I'm not backing down.
� Neither am I.
6
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,877
� You know what that means.
� Count.
7
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,837
One, two, three.
8
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:00,994
(Screaming)
9
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:03,435
� Say �peanuts�.
� Peanuts.
10
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:05,955
� I want Manny in on this.
� No, he's no good.
11
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:09,920
He stayed up all night
with his birthday present.
12
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:13,391
A complete set of The Sweeney
and an espresso machine.
13
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:20,192
(Phone)
14
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,669
Hello? What? Do me a favour.
15
00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:25,957
It's a flamin' bookshop.
Course we got Jane Austen.
16
00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:28,640
(Bell)
17
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:36,192
Right. OK, my story.
18
00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,396
� Imagine, yeah?
- Yeah.
19
00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:41,074
� Imagine you're a woman.
- OK.
20
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,471
� And now imagine...
� Wait! I'm still...
21
00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:54,755
OK. And now imagine
you have a boyfriend.
22
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,559
(Giggling)
23
00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:01,838
OK? And now imagine
you see that boyfriend...
24
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,560
with another woman.
25
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,313
(Whimpers)
26
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:11,232
� OK! My story!
� It's Peter I'm talking about.
27
00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:13,311
Peter wouldn't do that to me...you.
28
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,950
He's scum. This morning,
I was getting into my car...
29
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:31,230
- I just feel so...
� Awww.
30
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:33,038
Now, my story.
31
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:38,679
� You know Gerald and Sarah?
� Gerald, er, your friend...
32
00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:41,593
Friend? When I first came to London,
33
00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:44,320
he put me up, he lent me money,
34
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,835
he helped me find a job, this place.
35
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:49,355
I was an incredibly
good friend to him.
36
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,876
And even though, even though
I fancied his girlfriend,
37
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,917
I did not make a pass at her.
38
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,389
Well, once. Twice. A few times.
39
00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,791
But not after I realised
just how angry it made him.
40
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,394
� Once, but only...
� Get on with the story.
41
00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:07,360
Well, they invited me to
a dinner party and I went,
42
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,478
had a good time, woke up
with a bit of a hangover.
43
00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:14,234
Well, a big hangover.
44
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,880
So I went to the chemist
to get some fizzigood.
45
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,759
� Some what?
� Fizzigood � make feel nice.
46
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,150
� Oh, Alka�Seltzer.
- Yeah.
47
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,272
�Soluble.�
48
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:31,311
Mm. Mm. Make feel nice.
49
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,677
(Mumbling) Fizzigood feel nice.
50
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,957
Gerald! Sarah!
Thanks for the dinner party!
51
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,277
�Completely blanked me.'
52
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,397
Well, maybe they didn't see you.
53
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,869
Could something have distracted them?
54
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,633
Like what?
55
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,109
Gunfire. Was somebody shooting?
56
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:55,553
Let's see. Was someone firing a gun?
Was someone firing...?
57
00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:56,994
No, I don't think so.
58
00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:00,038
Manny, you look like
you could use some sleep.
59
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,236
Yeah, yeah, in a little bit.
60
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,436
The thing is, this bloke behind me,
61
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:07,034
behind me, behind me...don"t look!
62
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:10,795
� I reckon he's got a shooter.
� He's a hundred years old.
63
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,716
You're wired on coffee and cops.
64
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:18,350
And so what? So they blanked you.
65
00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,592
So what? So what? They blanked me.
66
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,991
That's a powerful
thing in civilised society.
67
00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:26,673
It's like, it's like...
68
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:30,435
when the Mafia send each other
fish through the post.
69
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,352
You must've done something awful.
70
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,511
Something really awful.
Do you think?
71
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:39,993
Oh. You didn't do that thing?
Your Belly Savalas thing?
72
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,198
No, I didn't do Belly Savalas.
73
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:49,237
So, Bernard, being blanked
really made you feel that bad?
74
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,197
Yeah. Terrible!
75
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:52,554
Hmm.
76
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:55,758
Manny, get some sleep.
77
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,918
Something really awful.
God, what did I do?
78
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,719
What did I do? Think! Think!
79
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,757
Get down!
80
00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,558
Thank you. Enjoy.
81
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,109
It's dreadful but it's quite short.
82
00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,313
Manny! Come over here.
83
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,074
You want a case?
I'll give you a case.
84
00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,595
Figure out what I did last night.
85
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,353
OK, the dinner party.
86
00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:32,393
Ooh!
87
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:33,800
What?
88
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,192
Sat on myself.
89
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:49,989
All right. Let's start
by reconstructing the evening.
90
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:51,559
Who else was there?
91
00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:54,632
Well, Gerald and Sarah, obviously.
92
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,273
� What's their D�407?
� Well... What?
93
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:04,035
� What do they do?
� Oh. Gerald's a food writer.
94
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:08,273
He had a big hit with
Basic Meals for the Ultra�Rich.
95
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,716
Sarah's an interior designer.
She's on that programme,
96
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,711
� Pet Surprise.
� Pet Surprise?
97
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,518
� What's that?
� Oh, you know.
98
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:18,638
They take the dog out,
he thinks it's a normal walk,
99
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,836
but when they come back...
100
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,590
the kennel has a patio
and French doors.
101
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,830
Yep. Yeah, yeah.
102
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,230
Then they take the blindfold off...
103
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,391
And he's like, "Ch, my God.�
104
00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,949
� Right.
� And there were a few others,
105
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,714
people who talk about salad
for five hours.
106
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:40,111
(Bernard, drunkenly)
And then I won again.
107
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,556
He was smaller than me,
only eight, but I still won.
108
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:47,793
I won again and again
and again and again.
109
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:51,350
So. How much had you had to drink...
110
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,397
before you turned up?
111
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,313
� You assume I'd been drinking.
� How much?
112
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,358
� How much? How much?
� That I'd...have a...
113
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:01,351
� How much?
� A couple of bottles.
114
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,909
Right. So you were
in a bit of a state.
115
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,229
No, I was fine.
116
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:08,233
Oh, come on! Think!
117
00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,118
(Doorbell)
118
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,349
(Police radio)
119
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,875
� Hiya.
� Is this yours?
120
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,600
� Er, yes.
� Misunderstanding.
121
00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:20,275
Not her fault. She's young.
High spirits. Thanks!
122
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,590
Try and keep it indoors.
123
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:26,150
See what you did? You made
the police come to their house!
124
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,198
Wow. There's more.
125
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,669
Oh, God, Bernard, look at you!
126
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:35,151
I'm a happy�go�lucky scamp.
127
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:40,519
Exquisite gifts, as always.
You're very early, Bernard.
128
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:43,638
Oh. You remember Jimbo, don't you?
129
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:46,155
I'm not sure. What do you do?
130
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:49,153
� No, he's our son.
� Oh, thank God.
131
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:52,790
I thought you had a disease.
Oh, this is a child.
132
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,632
(Sarah) Gerald?
Can you help me, please?
133
00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:02,190
Ah, Jim.
Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim.
134
00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:05,511
Come here. We'll do the thing. Ah!
135
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,273
Here.
136
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,591
Here...there we go.
137
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:13,149
Take it. Shh... Take it.
138
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:16,949
Now... Actually, Jim,
can I have that back?
139
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:18,599
Shh. Thanks.
140
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:21,320
Jim, have I told you
about the old country?
141
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:24,153
The songs, Jim.
Oh, they'd melt your face.
142
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:27,312
Oh, I live in a shoe
on Moore Street
143
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,755
I'm a prostitute from Newry
144
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,751
The child's involved somehow.
145
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:34,116
He's done something
and pinned it on me.
146
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:38,637
Huh. It's always the children,
isn't it, Bernard?
147
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:41,314
Manny, if you have
one more sip of coffee...
148
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,677
(Old woman) Help! Help! Help!
149
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:46,558
I got it!
150
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,999
� Help! Help!
� Wait! Stop!
151
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,469
( Cop show chase music)
152
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,674
(Music stops)
153
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,910
(Music resumes)
154
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,039
All right?
155
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:55,394
(Old woman) And my keys!
My house keys, they were in it.
156
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:58,393
How will I get into
my house without my keys?
157
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,676
It was a plainclothes policeman?
158
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:03,149
Yes. Oh, officer, officer...
159
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,236
Bernard!
160
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:16,113
Bernard!
161
00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:21,149
No questions, OK?
Can you do my shoelace?
162
00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:23,550
No can do, neckface.
163
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:28,719
� What happened to you?
� What happened to you?
164
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:29,995
You first.
165
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:33,550
No, come on.
Are you the next Bond villain?
166
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:36,393
You should have
"Dorset � 5 miles� on you.
167
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:38,596
Come on, you tell. Tell me.
168
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:41,513
Don't mind this.
It's a very dull story. Come on.
169
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,352
No, no. You first, come on.
170
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:45,078
� Tell me.
� No.
171
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,276
Oww!
172
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:48,794
� Tell me.
� Tell me.
173
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:53,670
� Ah, ah, ah!
� (Laughing) No, no, no!
174
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:57,196
Ahh! OK, OK, OK, OK, OK.
175
00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,714
OK.
176
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,919
You remember when I told you
I saw Peter with that girl?
177
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,593
Mm�hmm.
178
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:07,638
I couldn't get it out of my head
so I shut the shop,
179
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:11,839
went down the beauty parlour
and got myself done.
180
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:15,754
�When the next thing, who walks
by the window but Peter?�
181
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,191
Then I remembered what you said
182
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,556
about the awesome power of the blank.
183
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:26,314
�And I knew I might not get
a second chance.'
184
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:39,393
So you dealt with this
in a mature, reason...
185
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,198
Shut up. Anyway...
186
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:42,839
Fran?
187
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:46,790
Fran?
188
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,718
Fran?
189
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,518
Fran!
190
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:53,954
(Tyres screeching)
191
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,110
(Thud)
192
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,032
You were knocked down and...
193
00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,680
No, that's not how I got this.
194
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,751
The way I got this was...
195
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:04,719
No, it's too embarrassing.
You next, what happened?
196
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,997
� Well, I was...
� (Phone)
197
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,071
� We're closed.
� We're closed!
198
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:15,511
(Quietly) Hello? Hello? Hello?!
199
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:21,479
Yeah, yeah. Hello...Raiders.
200
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:24,757
You'd just better watch it!
201
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:30,597
Or I'll be down your manor
with all the other policemen!
202
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:35,629
And we'll arrest your arse. Goodbye.
203
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,473
You know, I thought
you might want some coffee.
204
00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:40,471
� No, I've gotta go.
� No, wait.
205
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:43,439
We need you.
Look, got a favour to ask.
206
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,830
We got someone
who isn't turning over.
207
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,957
Could you sit in
on the interview?
208
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:51,317
� Hey?
� What's with the face fungus?
209
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:55,109
Er...undercover. Undercover work.
210
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,999
Gotta blend in
with a heavy metal group
211
00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,390
who stole some...furniture.
212
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,835
� Right.
� Bastards!
213
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,275
So anyway, can you help us out?
214
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:08,478
No, I-1 can't, I really can't.
They need me on the job.
215
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:11,074
Hang on. Who's your governor?
I'll ask him.
216
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:14,516
� Oh, what the hell.
� Good lad.
217
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,398
� Grab your coffee.
� Right.
218
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:18,437
(Gulping)
219
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:23,271
OK, so far,
we've been going at him hard.
220
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:28,275
It might be time he found that
sympathetic ear he needs.
221
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:32,718
Know what I mean?
So I'm nasty, you're nice. OK?
222
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,279
� (Mumbles)
� What?
223
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:38,593
� You're not so bad.
� No, no. In the interview.
224
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:44,153
Oh, yeah, yeah. I was, er...
making a police joke.
225
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,550
Yeah, right.
It's Barry, by the way.
226
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,951
� Carter.
� Carter? Yeah, lovely.
227
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,919
We'll let him sweat it out
for a few minutes, OK?
228
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,560
Finish your coffee.
It's not bad, is it?
229
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,916
(Squeaking unintelligibly)
230
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:01,277
Bernard! Come on!
231
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,271
(Bernard groans, cork pops)
232
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,591
So, what happened?
233
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,712
All right. After you left,
234
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,713
I remembered something about
the dinner party.
235
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:16,236
I did do Belly Savalas.
236
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,994
Dooby, dooby, dooby, dooby.
237
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:23,074
What's that?
I can't hear you, Belly Savalas.
238
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:24,753
(Pop!)
239
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,797
Who loves you, baby?
240
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,190
Ha ha. What about that, eh?
241
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:35,195
But I also realised it wasn't
Belly Savalas that upset them.
242
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,317
It was something else.
243
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,596
Something much, much worse.
244
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,758
Oh, you didn't do Cobumbo, did you?
245
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:48,751
No. I didn't have any cigars.
246
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,949
All right,
so you were knocked down.
247
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:56,795
Even though I wasn't badly hurt,
I went to hospital for checks.
248
00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,554
And Peter insisted on coming with me.
249
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:00,675
OK.
250
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,751
I blanked him in the ambulance.
251
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,956
How do you blank somebody
in an ambulance?
252
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:08,078
Come on, Fran. Keep your eyes
fixed on mine. Come on!
253
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,390
Fran? Your eyes on mine.
254
00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,551
Keep your eyes fixed on mine!
255
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,438
(Cracking)
256
00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:17,319
Fran! Fran! Hurry, man, hurry!
257
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,358
Did you ever get to tell him
why you were blanking him?
258
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:23,953
I certainly did.
259
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,271
I spent some time explaining
in very clear terms
260
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,317
why he was a scumbag
261
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:33,314
and the fancy lady
he was with was a slut.
262
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,592
� It was his sister.
� Yes.
263
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:40,839
He was comforting her.
264
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,718
Just lost her job.
265
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,711
Ah. He won't be seeing you again?
266
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:49,670
He says he wants to see other,
less mad women.
267
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:51,512
All right, now you, come on.
268
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,353
I want to know how you
became the little teapot.
269
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,954
I don't want to tell it again
for Manny. Where is he?
270
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,596
Remember, I'm nasty, you're nice.
271
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,357
Nogsy.
272
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,557
You miss me?
273
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:14,554
I was just thinking, "When's
Inspector Norris coming back?�
274
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,632
Oi! Smart lip doesn't work
with me, Nogsy.
275
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,040
I don't react well to it.
276
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:22,317
Now, you better start
giving me something solid
277
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,676
or I'll feed you to the sharks.
278
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,439
(Clearing throat)
279
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,318
You have...
280
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,311
beautiful eyes.
281
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:44,911
You're going away, understand me?
This is the end of the line.
282
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:50,313
Shall I phone Hong Kong Kitchen
and get us all some crispy duck?
283
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,437
Sorry? Listen.
284
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:56,639
You better speak up or else
we'll be talking to your missus.
285
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,109
How do you like that, family man?
286
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:03,080
Hey. When this has blown over,
let's go see Les Miserables.
287
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,440
Have you been to the zoo?
It's brilliant.
288
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,796
What's, er... What's going on?
289
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:13,632
Carter.
290
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:20,634
Listen. I don't know what you're
doing but it's working.
291
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,678
He's getting shaky.
You take over. Offer him a deal.
292
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,673
� What sort of deal?
- You call it.
293
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:30,719
Don't give away too much.
He's looking at two years minimum.
294
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,599
� I'll be back in ten.
� Huh?
295
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,679
� Ten minutes.
� Oh.
296
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,117
Hey? Right.
297
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,430
I'm locking the door, Nogsy.
298
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:50,559
It doesn't open again
until you give my partner something!
299
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,516
Yeah, that's definitely locked.
300
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,157
� I'm not a policeman!
� What?
301
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,914
I'm not,
I've just had too much coffee!
302
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,071
What are you talking about?
303
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,231
� What'lLL I do?
� I want Norris back.
304
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,312
I"lUL talk to him,
I ain't talking to you!
305
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:26,879
Ahhhh!
306
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,997
� (Cork
po
� Ah! pel
307
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,639
It's a boy!
308
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:33,394
So, come on, back to the story.
309
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:37,678
I knew I'd done something
heinous so I went to see them.
310
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,229
(Doorbell)
311
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,073
� What do you want?
� To say I'm sorry.
312
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,595
� I'm very, very sorry.
� Oh. Well.
313
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,318
Please accept my gifts.
314
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,199
Maybe then we could
clear the deck somehow
315
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:52,635
and�and you could actually tell me
316
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,519
what it was that I actually...
317
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:57,556
- ..did.
� (Phone)
318
00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:59,233
(Screams)
319
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:02,830
Bernard? Fran?
320
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:05,919
Well, you did it.
321
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,879
I don't know how you did it,
but you did it.
322
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:12,032
Well, you know, Barry,
I'm just a cop.
323
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:13,918
Ooh.
324
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:19,876
Just one copper
tryin to make a difference.
325
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,109
Yeah.
326
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,479
Fell off a chair to some extent.
327
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:37,713
You know, Barry,
I been doing this job for tw...
328
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:41,589
20 min...years, since I was...15.
329
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,399
And you know,
it doesn't get any easier.
330
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,790
So that's why I've made
my decision to retire.
331
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:50,191
That's right, I'm retiring.
Nogsy was my last case.
332
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:54,035
I've had 100% success rate,
I'm only getting older and slower.
333
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:57,556
It's time for this old warhorse
to be put out to pasture.
334
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,996
Well, that's a shame. I been
on the job nearly 20 years too.
335
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:05,711
And you are the best bloody
copper I have ever worked with.
336
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:09,475
� It's been a privilege.
� OK, fair enough.
337
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,198
� All right.
- Yeah.
338
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,670
Oh, God.
339
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,318
(Bernard) Anyway. Where was 1?
340
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,199
You went to Gerald and Sarah's
to ask what you did.
341
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:25,114
� You mean you don't remember?
� Not as such, no.
342
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:28,033
You don't remember asking
for about the 100th time
343
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:31,909
where the toilet was,
drunk out of your skull?
344
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:36,233
You went to the toilet and you
were gone an awful long time...
345
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,709
Get him out.
Get him out. Get him out.
346
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,632
- 1 will.
� Out. Get him out now.
347
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,552
- 1 will.
� Get him out. Out.
348
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,313
Gerald.
349
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,471
� Could I ask you a question?
� What?
350
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,712
You know the thing, the thing
that cleans these things.
351
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:53,270
� Why is that in your bathroom?
� (Mouths)
352
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:56,637
I'm not Coco Chanel
but I think that's a bit weird.
353
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:59,678
Bernard, why don't I call you a cab?
354
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,559
I don't want a cab.
It's only half one.
355
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:06,076
Anyway, listen. Why do you have
a toaster in your bathroom?
356
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:08,310
We haven't got a toaster
in our bathroom.
357
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,358
Well, you should put a lock
on the door anyway
358
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:15,229
because I was on the toilet,
little Jimmy comes in,
359
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:19,029
he's drinking milk from the
fridge and that's all wrong.
360
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:21,316
It's unhygienic.
361
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,640
And what was going through your brain
362
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,951
when you thought,
"Oh, yeah, I'll buy a wicker toilet"?
363
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,759
(Sarah screams)
364
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:33,831
I thought I did something bad.
365
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:37,629
So I go to the toilet in your
wicker chair, it's a faux pas.
366
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:38,994
Faux pas?
367
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:42,118
I thought I drank
all the booze or something.
368
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:46,034
- You did drink all the booze.
� Look at Jimmy.
369
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:49,750
What? What? What? He looks surprised.
370
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:53,595
All children look surprised.
Everything's new to them.
371
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:57,310
Have I told you, by the way,
that he...he, er...
372
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,720
he smokes?
373
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,997
� He does not smoke.
� Well, he's up to something.
374
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,833
I've never said this
because I was being nice.
375
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,672
But your son has the, er...
376
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,037
the cold, dead eyes of a killer.
377
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,919
I come to your house,
I bring a bottle of wine...
378
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,833
� A policewoman.
� Policewoman, bottle of wine,
379
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,672
the point is I made an effort.
380
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:22,798
And OK,
I was slightly indiscreet.
381
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,951
And I'm sorry! I am.
382
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,635
But you...you blanked me. So...
383
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,791
� (Sarah) So what?
� I think I deserve an apology.
384
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,200
(Both) Out.
385
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,590
I came all the way across town
to apologise,
386
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:40,911
I don't even have the fare
for a taxi back.
387
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:45,358
I behaved with dignity, honour
and grace. I'm a bit upset now.
388
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,751
You wouldn't understand �
I'm talking about dignity!
389
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:53,434
Hence...
390
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,716
So why were you
embarrassed to tell me?
391
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:59,919
Oh, well, I fell, you know.
It was so...undashing.
392
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,469
And going to the toilet
through a chair,
393
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,870
well, we've all been there.
394
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,312
What happened to you?
395
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,119
Oh, I have had some day.
396
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,272
� What happened?
� Well, it started off...
397
00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:19,431
What happened to you?
398
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:22,957
Ooh!
399
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:26,078
(High voice)
That was a particularly bad one.
29615
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