Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:28,403
[laughing]
2
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,030
We don't have time
for this.
3
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,032
You're hurt.
I get it.
4
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,825
Now, there's a way
out of this.
5
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:35,410
Okay?
6
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:37,162
[laughing]
7
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:43,168
[clicking]
8
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,711
This never happened
to me before.
9
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,755
Really.
Man.
10
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,383
Oh, man.
11
00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:54,095
Damn it.
12
00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:56,222
You never get a second chance
to make a first impression.
13
00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:59,184
You know?
[engine starting]
14
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:01,561
Hey!
Oh, no, no, no, no! No!
15
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,524
This time it's loaded.
16
00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:08,068
Six bullets,
each with your name on it
17
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,111
if you don't get out
of my car right now!
18
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,616
That said,
I'm willing to negotiate.
19
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,159
[engine sputtering]
20
00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:20,038
Oh, I guess Evelyn
doesn't like you very much.
21
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,498
I'll make you a deal.
22
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,750
You scooch over,
I'll get you out of this alive.
23
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:24,793
But you better
think fast,
24
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:27,128
'cause that ain't
no birthday clown.
25
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:33,510
Okay, go!
26
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:36,971
[horn honks]
27
00:01:36,971 --> 00:01:40,183
Oh, shit.
28
00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:46,064
Okay, L1, R1, up, down, left,
right, right, down, up.
29
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:50,485
[engine revving]
30
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:51,945
All right, Evelyn,
we have nine days
31
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,238
to get away
from this clown,
32
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:55,240
ditch this psychopathic hitchhiker,
33
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,701
and make it
to New Chicago.
34
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,327
Hey, look!
You forgot your seatbelt.
35
00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:02,288
[brakes squealing]
Agh!
36
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,604
Here for the show?
37
00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:29,482
I'm definitely here
for the show!
38
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,359
[gunfire]
39
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,668
Oh, shit!
40
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:52,422
[laughing]
41
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,017
You're not
coming to my show?
42
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:07,520
Well, then the show
is coming to you!
43
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:26,873
♪
44
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,462
♪ Oh baby
I like it raw ♪
45
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,589
♪ Yeah baby
I like it raw ♪
46
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:36,007
♪ Oh baby
I like it raw ♪
47
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:38,551
Suppertime!
48
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:43,306
Stu, I love you,
but this is all your fault.
49
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:44,516
How was I
supposed to know
50
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,725
the woods would be
crawling with butchers.
51
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:47,519
They're talking about
getting us exiled.
52
00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:49,479
You had to get caught
sleeping on duty!
53
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,523
Hey!
You were sleeping, too!
54
00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:53,400
I wasn't the one snoring
like a goat in heat!
55
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,567
It's called sleep apnea.
56
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:55,777
It's a real
medical condition.
57
00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,821
And it would be
a lot more manageable
58
00:03:57,821 --> 00:04:00,657
if you hadn't traded in
my CPAP machine for porno.
59
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:02,492
Well, excuse me for trying
to get you something dope
60
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,618
for your birthday!
61
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:04,786
You know what's dope?
62
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:06,996
A full eight hours
of sleep.
63
00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:08,081
Dreaming is dope!
64
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,165
- [Butcher] Francis!
- [Francis] What?
65
00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:11,084
Why did you season
both meat baths
66
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,335
in teriyaki sauce?
67
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:14,879
Francis, we talked about
diversifying flavors.
68
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:16,381
Fine! Um...
69
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:18,383
Oh, I'll cover the thick one
in lemon pepper.
70
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:21,094
No, no!
[sputtering]
71
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,430
Oh, god,
it's so tangy, dude!
72
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,140
I call dibs
on the man titties.
73
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:26,474
[gunshots]
74
00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:32,439
Holy cow!
75
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:35,316
Clear!
76
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:37,027
[whimpering]
77
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,330
We don't usually find
the pigs alive
78
00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:53,752
before the luau.
You can cut 'em loose.
79
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,295
Butchers!
80
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,715
They'd rather eat the flesh
of their own kind than starve.
81
00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:04,971
You guys are guards?
82
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,931
We, uh, we used to be.
83
00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:08,892
Uh, Mike and I were...
- On a scouting mission
84
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,894
from Seattle
looking for trading routes.
85
00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:12,771
Our car broke down
and the next thing you know
86
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,689
we're getting grabbed
by these assholes.
87
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:20,403
We're always on the lookout
for upstanding citizens.
88
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,821
I'll give you guys
a choice.
89
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,740
You can try and make
your way back up north
90
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,284
where it can be
pretty dicey,
91
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,453
or if you can
take the grit,
92
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,455
join us in bringing
law and order
93
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:34,125
back to the Divided States
of America.
94
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,044
What do you say?
95
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,842
Come on.
96
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:48,139
- Sweet.
- All right.
97
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:50,016
Welcome to the law, huh?
98
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,518
[cheers and applause]
- [agent] Yeah!
99
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,645
- [Agent Stone] You guys.
- [agent] Don't go dying on us.
100
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,357
[John Doe] I can't believe
101
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,651
I already got
a flat tire.
102
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,695
Way to go, John.
Way to go.
103
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,824
Hey, silent
but not very deadly,
104
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,575
you gonna come over here
and help me with this?
105
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:08,827
Don't shush me!
106
00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:09,994
You come over here
and help me with the tire.
107
00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:13,498
[Sweet Tooth]
♪ Toyland Toyland ♪
108
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:17,836
♪ Little girl
and boy land ♪
109
00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:20,005
I'm gonna handle this shit.
Watch my back.
110
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,464
Ahh!
111
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,758
Ah, shit. Ahh!
112
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:26,469
[Sweet Tooth]
♪ When you dwell within it ♪
113
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:29,597
♪ You are ever
happy then ♪
114
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:36,354
You can hide,
115
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,857
but I have ways
to find you.
116
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:45,822
Marco! Marco!
117
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,490
I'll be right back, Evelyn.
118
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,451
I'll get us outta here.
119
00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:51,786
[Sweet Tooth] Marco!
120
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:58,209
Damn!
That usually works.
121
00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:02,005
[electrical humming]
122
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,423
[clangs]
123
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,091
Huh?
124
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,844
Shh.
125
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:11,306
[glass breaking]
Oh, shit.
126
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:12,766
[jackpot ringing]
127
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,898
Marco.
128
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,824
[growls]
129
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,123
[Sweet Tooth] Well, hi there!
130
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,917
[laughing]
131
00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:42,379
Oh, that tickled.
132
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,798
You know, my dad always
wanted to play catch,
133
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,591
but he could never
catch a ball.
134
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,551
He could catch
a bullet.
135
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,637
[gunshot]
136
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,639
Why are you scurrying away,
little squirrel?
137
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,058
Looking for a nut?
138
00:07:57,936 --> 00:08:02,023
This is gonna be fun!
Machete!
139
00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:04,359
Huh, swung
a little wide there.
140
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:09,197
Well, aren't we
a tall glass of water!
141
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:12,117
Me, I'm more of
a Hawaiian punch!
142
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:13,827
[groans]
143
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:14,828
I'm guessing
you don't fight much
144
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,371
outside of your car now,
do you?
145
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:19,332
Look, clown, I don't need
four wheels to kick your ass.
146
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,337
[laughing]
147
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,673
[growling]
148
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,550
Any chance we could get this
back in the cars?
149
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,260
[laughing]
150
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:36,391
How about a little
kill music?
151
00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:38,059
♪ Livin' la vida loca ♪
152
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,437
♪ She had dumps like
a truck truck truck ♪
153
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,230
♪ Thighs like
what what what ♪
154
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,691
♪ Baby move your
butt butt butt ♪
155
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:45,942
♪ I think
I'll sing it again ♪
156
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,445
♪ She had dumps like
a truck truck truck ♪
157
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:50,363
♪ Thighs like
what what what ♪
158
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,365
♪ All night long ♪
159
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:56,077
♪ Let me see that thong ♪
160
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,537
♪ Likin' where
the beat go ♪
161
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,413
♪ Da-da-da-da ♪
162
00:08:58,413 --> 00:08:59,247
♪ Baby let your bootie go ♪
163
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:00,331
♪ Da-da-da-da ♪
164
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:01,374
♪ Girl you wanna show ♪
165
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,500
♪ Da-da-da-da ♪
166
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,752
♪ That thong
thong thong thong thong ♪
167
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:06,421
Do you love
the silver-haired god?
168
00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:07,756
And don't lie to me.
169
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:08,965
Yeah, man.
170
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,592
Look, I listened to
"Unleash the Dragon"
171
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,218
so many times
the disc broke.
172
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,386
I'm not a liar.
173
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,388
Well, you said you were
coming to my show
174
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:16,723
and then you
shot at me!
175
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,350
It was
a misunderstanding.
176
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:21,436
I been getting shot at
ever since I can remember.
177
00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:23,730
It's force of habit,
I guess.
178
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,607
Sounds like
you have trust issues.
179
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:26,941
Yeah,
you're not wrong.
180
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,651
Nice pipes, dude,
I have to say.
181
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:31,112
That high note, whoo!
It was perfect.
182
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:33,448
- Oh, word?
- Yeah, can I go?
183
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,783
I got somewhere to be.
184
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,409
I thought you said
you were coming to the show!
185
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,496
Of course, I am.
186
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:42,415
Just can I leave
after the show?
187
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:50,590
Well, in that case,
tonight is opening night!
188
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,801
[laughing]
189
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,179
How were your showers?
190
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,889
Aw, I don't know
the last time
191
00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:00,392
I felt hot water
that wasn't my own piss.
192
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:01,643
Uh, sir.
193
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,186
Consider it
your recompense
194
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:05,313
for upholding
law and order.
195
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:11,069
Warm showers, warm blankets,
warm meals.
196
00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:14,197
- Oh.
- Aw, fuck, mashed potatoes?
197
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:17,117
[Mike] And goddamn,
look at all that gravy!
198
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,911
I wonder how we can get
one of those punch cards.
199
00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:23,415
Now, let's proceed
to your initiation.
200
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,545
Right this way, gentlemen.
201
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:33,967
What you see down there
is our supply truck.
202
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,802
It brings us
important provisions.
203
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,972
As you can see,
it's broken down.
204
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,890
That's why
it's not moving.
205
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:45,186
What I need for you to do
is to protect that truck.
206
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,604
From what?
207
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,481
Seagulls.
208
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:58,199
- [Sweet Tooth] Skittles?
- [John Doe] No, I'm good.
209
00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:01,202
[chomping]
- Pre-show jitters.
210
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,913
Listen, I really appreciate
you coming along willingly.
211
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,665
Normally I have to drag people
into the theater
212
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,958
kicking and screaming.
213
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:08,752
But word of advice,
214
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:11,212
you won't like
what happens if you run.
215
00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:14,674
What? Oh, him?
216
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:15,925
Nah, he was here before.
217
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:17,052
Hey, Donald.
218
00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:19,012
Don't worry,
he can't hear us.
219
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,348
I love names.
I'm kind of a name guy.
220
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,683
You know, the right one
can send a shudder
221
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:24,851
down your spine.
222
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,895
Wanna know
what I go by?
223
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:28,730
There's not a person
on the West Coast
224
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,399
that hasn't heard
of Sweet Tooth.
225
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:32,567
See what I mean?
226
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:36,154
I mean, you really
feel that in your bones!
227
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:38,531
What's your name, friend?
228
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,950
John Doe.
229
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,744
Nah, I'll give it
a seven.
230
00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:44,120
Hey, I didn't
pick it.
231
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,789
I don't know what name
I was born with
232
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:49,167
or who I am really.
233
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:51,753
Oh, amnesia.
What's your brand?
234
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:54,714
Post-traumatic,
transient, dissociative?
235
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,799
All I know
is my first memory
236
00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:57,801
is me waking up
in my car
237
00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,302
with blood coming
out of my head.
238
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:00,887
Wait, that's
my first memory too!
239
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,139
My head
covered in blood.
240
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,307
Of course,
it was being pushed
241
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:05,725
out of my mom's
whisker biscuit, but...
242
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:06,893
Whoa!
You remember that?
243
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:10,397
Oh, yeah.
I remember everything.
244
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:12,190
You should consider
yourself lucky.
245
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:14,734
There are some things
I wish I could forget.
246
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,529
Like the time
I shit my pants
247
00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:20,490
in my elementary school
production of "Oklahoma".
248
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:24,160
I can still see
the audience's faces
249
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,705
laughing, mocking.
250
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,501
Did you know Sisqo's
real name was Mark?
251
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,718
[grunting]
252
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,637
[Stu] Oh, a rock.
253
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:46,516
Man, what is
wrong with you?
254
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,601
You holding in a fart
or something?
255
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,271
If the truck is so important,
why don't they just move it?
256
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,440
Something doesn't
smell right, man.
257
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,608
Smells good to me.
258
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,569
Back in Seattle,
they treated us like morons.
259
00:12:57,569 --> 00:13:00,405
Now look at us;
we holding .30-cals, dude!
260
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:03,033
Come on, baby,
get your head in the game.
261
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,785
Come on. Come on.
262
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,620
There you go.
- Fuck you!
263
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,456
Eyes up, boys.
264
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,959
Those seagulls lay a fingernail
on our supplies,
265
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,503
it's open season.
266
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:16,921
What the hell?
267
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,965
Hey, why do you
call 'em seagulls?
268
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,675
These look like
normal survivors to me.
269
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:23,636
What else would you call
a bunch of fucking trash eaters?
270
00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:36,232
Dude, are we really
gonna kill these guys?
271
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:39,903
[suppressed gunshot]
272
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:41,488
There's one left, Stu.
273
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,323
He's all yours.
274
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:56,378
Clean it up!
275
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,137
[suppressed gunshot]
276
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:09,683
[laughter]
Melon down.
277
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,184
I saved your ass.
278
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,853
[Agent Stone] Seagulls,
butchers, exiles.
279
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:17,190
They see the world
in shades of gray.
280
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,859
What I need
from you two lawmen
281
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,069
is to just show them
282
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,697
that there's only two colors
in the world,
283
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:27,283
black and blue.
284
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:31,246
Now, you missed, Stu.
It can happen to anyone.
285
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:33,790
Rookie mistake.
286
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,835
Hey, don't let it
happen again.
287
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,464
Okay.
288
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:44,342
You guys want
some burgers?
289
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:46,428
Bubby-baby,
bubby-baby.
290
00:14:46,428 --> 00:14:48,138
Tip of the teat,
tip of the teat.
291
00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,597
Tip of the teat.
292
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:54,144
My marvelous mutterer
makes me mingy on Monday.
293
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:56,271
You sleep here?
294
00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:58,064
What, the penthouse
was booked up?
295
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,983
Nah, way too much
space up there.
296
00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:01,192
Nice bidet, though.
297
00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:03,445
Like taking a shotgun
up the ass.
298
00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:05,947
No, I sleep here
because it reminds me
299
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:08,366
of where I was
before Vegas.
300
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:11,327
Back then, I lived with
a real solid group of dudes.
301
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:14,998
But then the world took a shit
and I came to Sin City.
302
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:18,460
Now that was a party.
303
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:21,087
You've been here alone
for over two decades?
304
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:24,007
Oh, shit, has it been
that long?
305
00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:25,258
Look at this guy.
306
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,886
Hasn't aged a day.
What a beauty.
307
00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:29,262
Nah, I'm not alone.
308
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,264
I got Harold,
which, have you--
309
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,932
you haven't met
Harold yet.
310
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,769
I'm gonna introduce you.
311
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:38,396
This is Harold.
312
00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:40,607
Been my best friend
since I was a kid.
313
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,901
You know, my entire life
people have been lying to me.
314
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:45,362
Even my fucking parents!
315
00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:47,405
But, uh, never Harold.
316
00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:50,950
No, he can't lie to me.
He can't lie to anyone.
317
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,535
I can see that.
318
00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:53,661
[sighing]
319
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,622
I don't know what I'd do
without him.
320
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,665
Look at that smile.
321
00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:59,376
So, you got a Harold?
322
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:01,628
No.
I got an Evelyn.
323
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,296
Oh, that's cute.
324
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:07,467
Before I met her,
being alone was all I knew.
325
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,969
You know, she makes
everything easier, you know?
326
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:13,640
Sometimes I wish I could
make her laugh. Right?
327
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,308
I have to say
after all this time
328
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,894
that's the sound
I miss the most.
329
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,146
[Sweet Tooth] You know
what sound I miss the most?
330
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:23,149
The sound of hand meat
clapping together.
331
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,568
Nothing like that
glorious applause.
332
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:27,362
I mean, it's almost better
than, I don't know,
333
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:29,406
hearing somebody choking
on their own blood.
334
00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:31,241
But look at me
getting carried away.
335
00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:33,535
Good thing that your Evelyn's
got hands, huh?
336
00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:35,495
She must clap for you
all the time.
337
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,831
Nah, she doesn't.
She's my car.
338
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,290
You talk to your car?
339
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:42,836
That's weird, man.
340
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:47,173
Ah, mwah!
There you are.
341
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:51,261
So, if Evelyn's not the girl,
who's she?
342
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:56,558
I caught this little pest
crawling through my vents.
343
00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:58,435
See, I was gonna
starve her.
344
00:16:58,435 --> 00:17:00,437
Watching the life slowly
drain from their eyes.
345
00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:02,814
Kind of
my artistic process.
346
00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:04,524
[laughing]
347
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:08,278
You know, the last guy
lasted almost four weeks.
348
00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:09,821
Hey, Wilbur!
349
00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:12,157
I think she's gonna give you
a run for you money.
350
00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:13,616
She won't.
351
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,370
Bubby-baby, bubby-baby.
352
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,914
Hey, you tried to kill me
every chance you get.
353
00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,666
Why should I
show you mercy?
354
00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:26,713
Goddamn it!
355
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,886
Hey, man,
why don't you let her out?
356
00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:35,388
- And why would I do that?
- No, no, no, listen.
357
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,349
What good
is an audience of one?
358
00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:39,100
Think about
all the meat slapping
359
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:42,729
you'll hear
with four hands.
360
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,898
Ah, that's true.
361
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,358
I don't often
get feedback
362
00:17:46,358 --> 00:17:50,111
from the 18 to 35
female demographic.
363
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:53,365
Fine!
[sighs]
364
00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:55,575
You fish her out
and take a seat.
365
00:17:55,575 --> 00:18:00,163
Don't worry,
I got a table just for you.
366
00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:02,332
And what happens
after the show?
367
00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:04,876
Well, you go on
your merry way.
368
00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:06,503
Really?
369
00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:07,754
Well,
if I'm being honest,
370
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:10,882
nobody has survived
all three acts.
371
00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:12,592
Gird your loins!
372
00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:25,313
Tonight,
you will be enjoying
373
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,774
white tiger
prepared three ways.
374
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:30,068
There's a whole pack of those
milky white assholes
375
00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:31,945
breeding up on
the fourth floor.
376
00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:33,905
Anyway, enjoy.
377
00:18:33,905 --> 00:18:35,532
Bony tit!
378
00:18:39,411 --> 00:18:40,704
Give me back those keys!
Hey, hey!
379
00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:41,871
If it wasn't for me,
380
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,873
you would be
a starving corpse right now.
381
00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:57,929
Listen, neither one of us
made it pretty far on our own.
382
00:18:57,929 --> 00:19:02,058
So, instead of us trying to--
holy shit, this steak is good.
383
00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:03,768
Instead of us trying to stab
each other in the back,
384
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,478
we should put our heads
together and figure out
385
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,355
how in the hell we're going
to make it through the show.
386
00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:11,651
Is any of this
getting through to you?
387
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:18,742
Blink twice for yes.
388
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,871
Cool, we're fucked.
389
00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:23,955
[clapping]
390
00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:27,375
[clears throat]
391
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:34,424
Tonight, I will be presenting
a one-man play entitled
392
00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:37,552
"That's In-Room
Entertainment",
393
00:19:37,552 --> 00:19:40,305
based on the hotel's
in-room entertainment.
394
00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:46,436
♪
395
00:19:46,436 --> 00:19:48,980
Hi, I'm Debra
from guest services.
396
00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:51,316
And welcome to Nevada!
397
00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:55,236
Deep in the heart of Vegas
is the Monte Cristo,
398
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:57,739
a veritable oasis
in the sand.
399
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:04,454
And don't forget
about our promenade.
400
00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:06,498
It features
all the latest brands
401
00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:09,793
and is just a stone's throw
from the salon.
402
00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:13,004
Girl, might be time to take care
of those split ends!
403
00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:21,554
And for all you
lovebirds out there,
404
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:26,309
Las Vegas is still the marriage
capital of the world.
405
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:28,728
Time for kisses!
406
00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:36,736
And you have selected
express checkout.
407
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,864
Please leave your key
at the drop box
408
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:42,701
at the front desk.
409
00:20:42,701 --> 00:20:46,037
And thank you
for staying with us.
410
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:57,340
Well, we've come
to the Q&A
411
00:20:57,340 --> 00:21:00,343
where I ask the Q's
or I kick your A.
412
00:21:00,343 --> 00:21:03,304
So, now is
the moment of truth.
413
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:05,056
What do you think?
414
00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:12,856
Oh, um, I loved it.
415
00:21:12,856 --> 00:21:15,316
Liar!
416
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:17,902
What exactly
did you love about it?
417
00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:19,654
Uh, your performance!
I was moved!
418
00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:25,952
What? It was
a tour de force!
419
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:29,372
I am gonna tour de force
this machete down your throat!
420
00:21:29,372 --> 00:21:31,583
If you're not gonna
tell the truth,
421
00:21:31,583 --> 00:21:34,252
then I'm gonna make you
shut up and bleed.
422
00:21:34,252 --> 00:21:37,047
It was a fucking
snooze-fest.
423
00:21:37,047 --> 00:21:39,090
Now you talk?
424
00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:40,133
What the hell
did you say?
425
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:42,260
It sucked.
426
00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:43,928
Your performance was
dull as dick water
427
00:21:43,928 --> 00:21:46,431
and frankly beneath you.
428
00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:48,224
And you?
429
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:49,976
You agree with her?
430
00:21:56,775 --> 00:21:59,652
Yes.
I agree with her.
431
00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:03,948
Come on, man,
it was boring.
432
00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:04,949
I get it,
you've been here forever,
433
00:22:04,949 --> 00:22:06,785
but you did a play
about a hotel!
434
00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:13,416
But didn't Mark Twain say
you should write what you know?
435
00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:14,709
Well, Mark Twain's
a dumbass.
436
00:22:14,709 --> 00:22:16,086
You gotta get out
in the world, man.
437
00:22:16,086 --> 00:22:17,504
Yeah.
Look, trust me,
438
00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:20,382
you don't want to spend
the rest of your life alone.
439
00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:21,966
You end up
talking to a car.
440
00:22:21,966 --> 00:22:23,593
Yeah, like this guy.
441
00:22:23,593 --> 00:22:25,261
You know what?
You're right.
442
00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:27,013
I can't wait here
for my audience.
443
00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:30,892
I need to get out there
and hunt my audience down.
444
00:22:30,892 --> 00:22:31,976
Oh, no, no,
that's not what I meant.
445
00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:33,937
No, that's exactly
what you meant.
446
00:22:33,937 --> 00:22:36,940
I'm gonna get out there,
and I'm gonna embrace the chaos.
447
00:22:36,940 --> 00:22:41,403
Who knows,
maybe I'll even fall in love!
448
00:22:41,403 --> 00:22:44,030
The show is going
on the road!
449
00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:53,790
♪
450
00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:56,084
That was
beautiful, man!
451
00:22:56,084 --> 00:23:04,092
♪
452
00:23:17,522 --> 00:23:19,816
Well, a night
of firsts.
453
00:23:19,816 --> 00:23:21,067
My first
honest critique,
454
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:23,778
first people I ever let
leave here alive,
455
00:23:23,778 --> 00:23:27,824
but most importantly,
my first two fans.
456
00:23:27,824 --> 00:23:29,576
You two.
457
00:23:29,576 --> 00:23:31,911
I got you a headshot.
458
00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:33,788
There's an inscription
in that.
459
00:23:33,788 --> 00:23:36,666
{\an8}- [John Doe] "See you soon."
- I hope not.
460
00:23:36,666 --> 00:23:39,252
Hey, thanks
for being honest.
461
00:23:43,465 --> 00:23:45,800
[engine revving
and tires squealing]
462
00:23:45,800 --> 00:24:00,273
♪
463
00:24:00,273 --> 00:24:03,485
[gunshots]
464
00:24:03,485 --> 00:24:09,616
♪ Come on ♪
465
00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:14,871
♪ Yeah ♪
466
00:24:14,871 --> 00:24:17,582
♪ Baby
That thong ♪
467
00:24:17,582 --> 00:24:21,336
♪ I said I like
the way ♪
468
00:24:21,336 --> 00:24:24,714
♪ Baby ♪
469
00:24:24,714 --> 00:24:29,719
♪ Listen
Said I like the way ♪
470
00:24:29,719 --> 00:24:33,431
♪ I don't think
you heard me ♪
471
00:24:33,431 --> 00:24:37,268
♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
472
00:24:39,604 --> 00:24:41,731
♪ Baby ♪
473
00:24:41,731 --> 00:24:45,402
♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
474
00:24:45,402 --> 00:24:49,072
♪ Yeah ♪
475
00:24:49,072 --> 00:24:52,200
♪ All right ♪
476
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:53,576
[John Doe] You know, I have
to admit I didn't think
477
00:24:53,576 --> 00:24:56,454
we were gonna make it
out of there alive.
478
00:24:56,454 --> 00:24:57,789
I mean, it would have been
a lot easier
479
00:24:57,789 --> 00:24:59,457
if you had piped up
instead of just trying to--
480
00:24:59,457 --> 00:25:01,042
oh, come on!
Have you learned nothing?
481
00:25:04,796 --> 00:25:06,297
What is your problem
anyway?
482
00:25:06,297 --> 00:25:07,424
I'm trying
to find someone.
483
00:25:07,424 --> 00:25:08,383
Well, I'm trying
to get somewhere,
484
00:25:08,383 --> 00:25:09,342
and I lost a hell
of a lot of time
485
00:25:09,342 --> 00:25:11,136
watching that
god-awful play.
486
00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:15,348
If you put the gun down,
I'll drop you off
487
00:25:15,348 --> 00:25:17,600
as close as I can
to where you're going. Deal?
488
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,978
Fine.
But I'm keeping the gun.
489
00:25:19,978 --> 00:25:22,355
No, come on, that one's new.
All right, all right, take it.
490
00:25:27,861 --> 00:25:29,696
What's your name anyway?
491
00:25:32,532 --> 00:25:34,284
Okay, I'll start.
Hi, I'm John.
492
00:25:34,284 --> 00:25:36,453
You're...?
493
00:25:36,453 --> 00:25:38,538
Bridget?
494
00:25:38,538 --> 00:25:40,040
Yolanda?
Jennifer?
495
00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:43,752
Okay. So, since you
like to be quiet,
496
00:25:43,752 --> 00:25:45,462
that's what I'm gonna
call you: Quiet.
497
00:25:45,462 --> 00:25:48,131
Is that okay, Quiet?
- Yep.
498
00:25:48,131 --> 00:25:49,966
So, you're really not
gonna tell me your name?
499
00:25:49,966 --> 00:25:51,676
Nope.
500
00:25:52,635 --> 00:25:54,304
Fine.
501
00:25:54,304 --> 00:25:55,889
Makes it easier
when I drop your ass off
502
00:25:55,889 --> 00:25:58,433
in the middle
of nowhere, Quiet.
503
00:26:05,065 --> 00:26:06,483
[Agent Shepard]
Sack up, newbs.
504
00:26:06,483 --> 00:26:09,194
Got a live one.
505
00:26:09,194 --> 00:26:10,987
I'll stop the vehicle
506
00:26:10,987 --> 00:26:13,073
and demand to see
their open road license.
507
00:26:13,073 --> 00:26:15,075
If they don't got it,
they don't pass.
508
00:26:19,412 --> 00:26:20,372
What?
509
00:26:20,372 --> 00:26:22,499
Hey, sorry,
just one question.
510
00:26:22,499 --> 00:26:24,876
Where do we bring 'em?
511
00:26:24,876 --> 00:26:28,755
Oh, and why are we
stopping them?
512
00:26:28,755 --> 00:26:31,508
And what's
an open road license?
513
00:26:31,508 --> 00:26:33,843
Is it common at the--
- Just get in.
514
00:26:33,843 --> 00:26:36,054
We learn on the job.
I respect that.
515
00:26:36,888 --> 00:26:37,889
I've never seen
a checkpoint
516
00:26:37,889 --> 00:26:39,891
that wasn't outside
of a settlement.
517
00:26:39,891 --> 00:26:41,101
And these guys
aren't on the map.
518
00:26:41,101 --> 00:26:43,895
So, more delays.
519
00:26:43,895 --> 00:26:44,979
Let me do
all the talking.
520
00:26:44,979 --> 00:26:46,356
I deal with these guys
all the time.
521
00:26:46,356 --> 00:26:49,192
I speak their lingo.
522
00:26:49,192 --> 00:26:51,986
Hey, ORL, please.
523
00:26:51,986 --> 00:26:54,406
Did you just ask me
for oral?
524
00:26:54,406 --> 00:26:58,243
Uh, no, sir. ORL.
525
00:26:58,243 --> 00:26:59,911
Open road license.
526
00:26:59,911 --> 00:27:02,539
That's an awful acronym.
527
00:27:02,539 --> 00:27:04,541
Hey, look,
I'm just a milkman.
528
00:27:04,541 --> 00:27:07,168
I'm just passing through, man.
Come on.
529
00:27:07,168 --> 00:27:08,795
And you guys look great,
by the way.
530
00:27:08,795 --> 00:27:10,130
I love your shirts, man.
531
00:27:10,130 --> 00:27:11,965
What are you, like a club
or a team or something?
532
00:27:11,965 --> 00:27:14,718
We're officers.
Of the law.
533
00:27:14,718 --> 00:27:17,262
Ah, angry black friend. Okay.
534
00:27:26,688 --> 00:27:29,065
Hey, where--
Get back in the car!
535
00:27:29,065 --> 00:27:30,442
[Stu] Listen to
your friend!
536
00:27:30,442 --> 00:27:31,818
Eat my ass,
motherfucker!
537
00:27:31,818 --> 00:27:35,780
[clicking and buzzing]
538
00:27:35,780 --> 00:27:38,074
[wincing]
539
00:27:38,074 --> 00:27:44,456
♪
37477
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
