All language subtitles for Tahara.2020.720p.WEB.h264-EDITH

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Sometimes it's painful
to be inarticulate.

You know, to never
have the right thing

to say when it really matters.

Like you might spend
your entire life

thinking you're
dealing with a square

because it looks like a
square and acts like a square

or feels like whatever.

But then one day,

you turn a corner and realize

that actually it's not a square.

It never was.

All along, you've
just been staring

at the flat face of a cube.

♪ I section off the petrol
with the metro card ♪

♪ Days you heard of
secondhand on rented heart ♪

♪ Cover for me, your tarp
is see through, dummy ♪

♪ I patch like iOS and if you
question, need that monthly ♪

♪ What a trip, never slipped ♪

♪ I don't miss I
go Gilbert in '06 ♪

♪ You more like Adonal Foyle
Before Curry killed the Knicks ♪

♪ From the back
I lost my grip ♪

♪ Low behold, I
caught up quick ♪

♪ Overall, I'm well equipped ♪

♪ Coat of arms,
they rep the set ♪

♪ Too prideful
for the charity ♪

♪ A blessing scorned ♪

♪ We just want a nigga
we can root for, yeah ♪

♪ Cherish while a champ
walk you to the door, yeah ♪

♪ Shekels brought on grandeur
but your spirit poor ♪

♪ Poor ass spirit ♪

♪ Roaming true predator stare,
hone in to regular gears ♪

♪ Regular pair of wings
on your toes in the air ♪

♪ I dick for relief
and to share ♪

♪ Only fair I've
had no other life ♪

♪ So I do not act as
if yours is mine ♪

♪ Why do some act
as if otherwise ♪

♪ Why even ask We
on borrowed time ♪

♪ I'm not wasting ticks ♪

♪ Stick talk, you gon' listen ♪

♪ Brick stock, new edition ♪

♪ How it sing when
it's clipping ♪

♪ Every scene that you're
missing right here ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Never leave home
heavy-handed ♪

♪ Never take your
victories for granted ♪

♪ When everything went just
the way you planned it ♪

People keep posting
pictures of her everywhere.

- You gonna post?
- No, it's not like she's gonna see it.

Ready?

Yeah, as I'll ever be.

- What are you doing?
- Shh! Carrie!

Be quiet.

- Holy shit.
- What?

Tristan.

Oh, yeah. I always forget he
was in our Hebrew School class.

He smiled at me.

No, he didn't.

Look.

No, that's just his face.

He always looks like that.

Jealous much?

Definitely not.

Oh, sorry.

Don't be.

Okay, cool.

You, you look really nice.

Um, thanks.

You look... I mean you look
like really, really good.

- You think so?
- Yeah.

I mean, duh.

You're, like, really cute.

This is some real
premium stuff, okay.

So you can only take a
little bit of it at a time.

I heard it was 20.

20 what?

20 pills.

I ate an Advil once because
I thought it was a red M&M.

Shalom.

Shalom.

From the 23rd chapter
of the Book of Psalms.

♪ Mizmor ledhavidh
Adonay ro'iy ♪

♪ Lo' 'echsar ♪

♪ Bin'othdeshe' yarbiytseniy ♪

♪ Al-mey menuchoth
yenahaleniy ♪

♪ Naphshiy
yeshobhebhyancheniy ♪

♪ Gam kiy-'elekh ♪

♪ Beghey'tsalmaveth
lo'-'iyra' ♪

♪ Ra' kiy-'attah 'immadhiy ♪

♪ Shibhthekha ♪

♪ Umish'antekhahemmah
yenachamuniy ♪

♪ Ta'arokh lephanay shulchan ♪

♪ Neghedh tsoreraydishanta ♪

♪ Bhashemen ro'shiy kosiy ♪

♪ Revayah ♪

♪ 'Akh thobh vachesedh ♪

♪ Yirdephuniykol-yemey
chayyay ♪

♪ Veshabhtiy bebheyth-Adonay ♪

♪ Le'orekh yamiym ♪

From the 121st
chapter of Psalms.

Shh!

It is now my honor to
invite Samantha's cousin,

Sarah Bronstein,
for her remarks.

Sarah.

Hello, everyone. My
name is Sarah Bronstein.

Samantha is... was my cousin.

Even though we were less
than a year apart in age,

I've always seen Samantha as
the big sister I never had.

My name is David Gold, and I
am Samantha's piano teacher.

We never know when a tragedy
will strike our community,

but we do know that
we, as a community,

will come together
after the tragedy.

She had this
connection to horses

that I'll never be
able to understand.

And Samantha became
a brilliant pianist.

In her 18 years, she studied
Torah here at Temple Beth El.

And because of her, I can
ride both Western and English.

She was very young.

I had the honor

of officiating at the service

when she became a bat mitzvah.

And I give my condolences
to the family.

And I, for one, am going
to miss her very much.

Thank you.

I will now recite the
Kel Moleh Rachamim,

the memorial prayer.

Would you kindly rise?

There will be a luncheon in
the pastoral conference room

downstairs where they will
be collecting donations

for Habitat for Horses
in Samantha's honor.

Carrie, Hannah,

oh, thank you so
much for coming.

- Of course, Mrs. Goldstein.
- Yeah, of course.

I haven't seen you since you
all were in that musical.

- Do you remember that?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, listen to me. Of
course, you remember.

Samantha loved musicals.

I don't know if a lot
of people knew that.

She would always sing that
Annie song in the shower.

You know, the "Tomorrow" one?

- "Tomorrow"?
- Yes, right.

That's it.

♪ Tomorrow ♪

She had such a good voice.

Yeah, I remember we were in
eighth grade choir together.

She was so great.

Yeah, she was like
really, really good.

Oh, that's so nice
of you girls to say.

You know, she thought
the world of you two.

Especially you, Hannah.

It was so nice seeing pictures
of you two at that big party.

- Totally.
- You looked so pretty.

Thanks.

Oh, I should probably
stop rambling.

I know Samantha would
die of embarrassment

if she knew I was
carrying on like this.

I'm so sorry for your
loss, Mrs. Goldstein.

Yeah. So sorry.

So, so sorry.

Thank you, girls.

If you'll excuse me.

Uh, what did she mean by that?

What?

I just didn't know that

you and Samantha took a picture
together at Melissa's party.

Oh, I don't know. I
don't really remember,

but I wasn't gonna,
like, correct her.

- But...
- Ugh, I'm starving.

I think I'm gonna have a bagel.

Do you want the other half?

No, I'm not really hungry.

Hmm, your loss.

Can you believe that?

It's so sad.

Don't they know that Tristan
would never go for any of them.

Bad bone structure.

- This is so messed up.
- Oh, totally.

It's, like, Elaina's
pretty and everything,

but she's not,
like, a real person.

I'm gonna go get a cup of water.

Could you get me some?

- Here.
- Thanks.

- Oh, my God, are you crying?
- What? No.

- Your eyes are red.
- Yeah, because of, like,

air pollution or whatever.

Stop being... weird.

Do you think Tristan
owns that suit?

I don't know.

It just looks so good on him.

Like, he looks
really, really good.

Yeah.

He got hotter, right?

I guess?

You guess?

I just don't think

we should be talking
about this right now.

Why?

Because we're at
a funeral service.

You didn't even
know her that well.

She was in, like,
my AP Psych class.

She was nice.

We worked on a group
project together.

Didn't you say you had
to do all the work?

Yeah, no one ever does the
work in, like, a group project.

I remember you being,
like, really mad

because she said she would help
you with the presentation part

and then she, like,
totally ghosted you.

I mean, she clearly had
other things on her mind.

It doesn't matter, just...

I just don't think
we should be talking

about Tristan's suit
right now, okay?

Are you sure you
don't want a bite?

Yeah.

Ugh, fine. I gotta pee.

What took you so long?

You know I pee slow.

That's why I had
to quit swim team.

You quit swim team
because you hated running.

Well, why should I have
to run for swim practice?

That's unfair and stupid.

Ugh, I'm so bored.

I mean, today has
been, like, so, so sad,

but now I just want to go home.

I don't want to go to the
stupid Teen Talk Back.

Those things are always so dumb.

I don't know. I feel
like the best part of USY

was always the
intellectual debates.

Or that was probably
hard for you

with someone's tongue down
your throat the whole time.

I found that pretty
stimulating actually.

You're so gross.

Okay. At least I didn't
have Ben Schwartz's hands

down my pants like somebody.

Yeah, you had Ben Feldman's.

True. At least him
stabbing me in the vagina

with his boiled fingers
was more fun than today.

He was, like, trying to get
a peanut out of a tiny bag.

I want to hook up with
someone who's experienced

like me, you know?

You've hooked up with,
like, three guys.

Okay, you've hooked up with one

and you kept your jeans on.

What? I'm just saying,

if this was a
competition, I would win.

Yeah, I'm sure you would.

Okay.

Do you think I'm pretty?

Don't be stupid.

I think I'm like okay-looking.

I'm not classically
beautiful or whatever.

My nose is weird.

Stop it, you're pretty.

Would you ever kill yourself?

No, I don't think so.

Neither would I.

But if I did, which I wouldn't,

I'd do what Samantha did.

Pills are so easy.

I guess you could hang yourself,

but that'd be kind of hard.

Slitting your wrists in
the bathtub could be cool

but it's so emo middle
school, you know?

Ugh.

Shit.

Do you have concealer?

Concealer?

Do you have some?

Like, in your purse?

For me, yes.

For, you, no.

Whatever.

You can hardly see it anyway.

Do you think Tristan's
a good kisser?

No clue.

Rachel Feinstein says
he's, like, really good,

but she's a pathological liar.

So, who knows if
that's even true.

Wait, didn't
Tristan and Samantha

used to hook up?

Oh, yeah, I heard about that.

But then he took Lauren
Silverstein to homecoming.

I remember seeing them
kiss during the slow dance.

So tragic.

I wonder if I'm a good kisser.

I thought you were
"so experienced".

Well, I never,
like, dated anybody.

So?

So, I haven't exactly had
any returning customers.

What? Why are you looking
at me like that? Stop!

- Kiss me.
- What? No.

- Do it.
- No.

Please, I need to
know if I'm, like,

the worst kisser in the world.

Okay, I can tell you right
now, you're probably not

the worst kisser in the world.

Just pretend I'm like Zack
Horowitz or something.

Zack Horowitz has back hair.

Okay, fine, pretend
I'm someone else.

- Pretend I'm Mr. Danielson.
- Stop.

I know you think he's so hot
when he pours those beakers.

"Oh, Mr. D, will
you come over here

and help me with something?

Oops, I dropped a beaker.

I know that's a safety hazard."

I don't want to
kiss Mr. Danielson.

- Then kiss me.
- No!

Come on, just do it.

It'll be like a second.

Fine.

- That doesn't count.
- Yes, it does!

You asked me to kiss
you, so I kissed you.

Okay, there's no way you
determined anything from that.

Okay, fine.

All right, well, I
guess I'll never know

if I'm a good kisser or not.

And then one day, I'll kiss
someone and they'll be like,

"That was awful."
And I'll die of shame

because my best friend was too-

How's that?

Bad?

Okay.

Cool.

Good.

Cool.

Thanks.

Yeah, totally.

Ladies, what did I tell
you about being in here?

- Sorry, Moreh Klein.
- We were just leaving.

Good. See you in my classroom
in five minutes, correct?

- Yep!
- Mm-hmm.

Ugh, I can't believe she's
the one running the talkback.

It's like Hebrew
School, but worse.

Yeah, I think her real job
is in grief counseling.

Truly the last
person on the planet

I'd want to counsel my grief.

All right, we
should probably go.

Yeah, yeah, um...

I just need to grab my...

- Oh, sorry.
- Sorry.

Carrie, Carrie, Carrie.

Kill me.

Ugh.

- Did you see it?
- Did you see it?

- Did you see it?
- You didn't see it?

You didn't see it.

You have to look with your eyes.

You've got two of them.

I'm gonna play it one more time.

Look who's crying again.

Why do they do that?

Because they can.

Everyone.

Please settle down.

Shalom.

Shalom.

Today is a terrible day.

But we have this
time now to process

what the Jewish tradition
teaches us about death,

so we can grieve and
be stronger together.

I know this is difficult.

I was in a similar situation
when I was your age.

At that time, I was
fighting for Israel.

Back then, I saw death
around every corner.

I was haunted like a phantom.

When I slept, I dreamt it.

When I woke, I saw it.

And to see someone so young

choose to leave this
world of the living,

well, I cannot explain it
and I cannot justify it,

but, as the Talmud tells us,
we must try to understand.

Now,

please take these handouts.

Who would've thought they'd
have handouts for this?

This is better
than the workbooks

with the mice on them.
Do you remember those?

Okay, I guess not.

Does everyone have one?

Good.

Now, who would
like to read aloud?

Hmm, Hila.

"Death is something
that happens to people

of all religions, but
in the Jewish faith,

there are particular
rituals that must be done

when someone passes away."

Rachel Feinstein,

please help your
friend Rachel Grossman.

Excuse yourselves if you must.

- Should I keep going?
- Um...

Would anyone else care to read?

Let's have a little
fun, shall we?

Um, Yitzhaka, please, continue.

"There are many
Jewish traditions

associated with death.

Some come right from the Torah,

while others were
developed in Eastern Europe

throughout the 19th century,"

Yes, Hila.

Moreh Klein, what do you
think the great rabbis

would specifically say
about this situation?

Interesting question, Hila.

I think the great rabbis tell us

that in order to
understand death,

we must have insightful
conversations.

We can't express grief with
standard, shallow platitudes.

Like what we're
doing here today.

- For Samantha.
- Exactly, Miera.

What was that?

A cough.

Did you have something
to add, Yitzhaka?

Um, uh, yeah.

I was wondering

if I should keep reading.

I see.

Would anyone else cared to read?

- Yes, Miera.
- Miera?

"Some of these traditions
include preparing the body

by cleansing it and the ritual
act of purification Tahara,

in which the funeral
director or, alternatively,

a holy society, the chevra
kadisha cleanses the body."

In Samantha's case, her body
would have only been handled

by women to make sure
it stayed totally pure.

I bet Samantha
would've liked that.

Now, can anyone tell
me the significance

of these rituals?

Come on, I don't want Miera
and Hila to do all the talking.

One of you young
scholars must understand

why it's important that the
body be pure before burial?

Fine, Miera.

It's supposed to erase your
social status in death.

Correct. The only relationship
that matters in the end

is the one you have
with Hashem. Yes, Hila?

Um, yeah, just
piggybacking off of that,

I wanted to say
how important it is

because it shows no
matter how bad things are,

like, if you're dead,

we always have our faith.

But we have it when
we're alive too.

Does anyone else want to
add to this discussion?

Stop.

Oh, my God, Hannah!

Yitzhaka?

Are you all right?

Um... yeah, I just,

I didn't have that
much for breakfast.

It was my fault, sorry.

Uh, maybe it's time for a break.

Yitzhaka, please make
sure you drink some water

and get something to eat.

We don't need to add to
today's tragedy, understood?

I'll take care of her.

Thank you, Hava.

Hey, are you okay?

Totally, I just,
I lost my balance.

That's all.

God, I can't believe I did
that, that's so embarrassing.

I don't know, man.

That could totally
be Photoshopped.

No way somebody made
that on Photoshop.

What about the whole, like,
you know, satellite thing?

Well, I mean, according to
the video, this satellite...

- Shut up!
- You shut up.

Why do we never see
the boats go lower?

I wonder if prom's even
still gonna happen?

Of course it is. They wouldn't
cancel prom over one person.

If anything, they should move
it up so we have a distraction.

Or, like, make it a memorial.

- That's a really good idea.
- Thanks.

I just said prom should
be a distraction.

Oh, right.

I just can't believe
she won't be there.

Me too.

Were you guys close?

That's too bad.

Hey.

I can't watch this
fake pity party.

Yeah, yeah, me neither.

You wanna...

- What?
- You know...

could go to the bathroom and...

I mean, people are probably
gonna be crying in there

or worse, talking about me.

Yeah, probably.

Um...

but we can check and
see if it's empty,

- and if it's empty, we can...
- What are you talking about?

If you have to go
to the bathroom, go.

Uh, yeah, yeah.

I don't have to go
to the bathroom.

Okay, then what?

Nothing, nothing.

Never mind.

- Have you seen Tristan?
- No.

I wonder if he went outside.

That'd be so like him.

It's like 20 degrees out.

I know, he's so random.

I wonder if I should say
something to him so he, like,

- knows that I'm here.
- I'm sure he knows you're here.

I don't know. I feel like I
haven't been very, like, visible.

You fell out of your chair,
like, two seconds ago.

Yeah, that's not the kind
of visibility that I want.

Plus, I don't think he noticed.

He definitely saw.

I thought you were gonna
get, like, a concussion.

Ugh, yeah.

So embarrassing.

Whatever.

I just want him to see me

how I want him to.

- You know how it is.
- Not really.

Like, I want him to
see me doing hot stuff.

Like what?

Do you know where we
could get a Popsicle?

Kidding.

We'll find something else.

Or, like,

maybe we could practice more.

You know, you said
you wanted to be

like a really great kisser.

Yeah, and now I know that I am.

I want him to, like, want me.

Like, how do I get
somebody to want me?

I don't know. I'm sure
you'll figure it out.

Is it, like, my hair? I was
gonna straighten it this morning,

but I didn't have enough time and now
it's gonna mess everything up for me.

Where are you going?

God.

Hi.

Hey.

Do you vape?

I, uh, don't think we're
allowed to smoke in here.

It's not smoke.

It's cucumber, it's
easily the best flavor,

but they don't make it any more

so my brother has
to buy it on eBay.

Mango's good too though.

I don't want to sit in here.

What are you so scared of?

Nothing.

Damn.

I'm bored.

Why don't you break me off a
little piece of that brownie?

Dude, you were only supposed
to have, like, a tiny bite.

Your brother got ripped off.

If these haven't hit yet,

they're not going to.

Oh, hey.

Sorry about your
dead girlfriend.

Dude, stop it, seriously?

- What? I was joking.
- It's not funny.

No, it's fine. I mean,

she wasn't actually
my girlfriend so...

I mean, not anymore.

Oh, I'm really sorry dude.

No, we didn't actually
know each other.

Yeah, totally. Do you want
to see something cool?

Dude, stop. It's fake.

Let's get back to it.

Hey, Trist...

All right, everyone.

Please turn over your
worksheets from earlier.

As you can see, it's
divided into six panels,

each representing a
stage of mourning.

I want you to fill
in each section

with how you, personally,
will honor Samantha's memory.

Oh, my God, don't
inhale so deeply.

One puff of these is
like 20 cigarettes.

If you keep coughing like that,
you're basically done for.

Thank you.

So when did you first
start smoking, or vaping?

This summer.

I wanted to impress a boy.

Well, it's, like,
super impressive.

Do you, um,

do you remember
Samantha's bat mitzvah?

Uh, I don't think I went.

Yeah, it was the, um,

it was the same
day as Amy Levi's

and most people didn't
want to go to both, or...

honestly, most people only
wanted to go to Amy's.

Yeah, Amy's was at
the planetarium.

Yeah, it was cool.

And Samantha's was at
that, like, weird hotel,

The, um, Wagon Wheel.

You know, it was,
like, horse-themed.

Did you go to Samantha's?

Yeah, I went. My
mom made me go.

She said I had to go
to anyone's bat mitzvah

who was in my
Hebrew school class.

Even if we weren't friends.

Plus, me and Samantha used to
carpool together all the time.

She lives, like, three
houses down from me.

Lived.

I'm really sorry.

Yeah.

It was, like, so sad.

It was, like, all adults and
Samantha's little cousins

and, like, the DJ kept
trying to get people to dance

and, like, no one did.

I mean, I left right
after the candle ceremony,

which was humiliating.

But she had a candle
for all of her friends

and it was just me and
our other neighbor, Kim.

Oh, my God, that sucks.

Yeah.

I wish...

I mean, I don't know.

I know she was weird, but, like,

I wish people cared
about her more.

Today feels so fake.

Yeah.

But you two were close, right?

Uh...

I mean, not really, um...

In elementary school, we used
to, like, dance together,

but, you know, like, you know,

hip hop and jazz and whatever.

It was so dumb.

I quit when I went to
middle school, um...

So, I never really saw
her outside of any of that

except for here.

But...

I don't know.

This feels, like, different.

So, we weren't
really, like, friends,

I don't know why.

I guess... I guess
I do know why.

I just never really gave
her much of a chance.

And now, I guess I never will.

Yeah, she, like, never told
anyone anything about herself.

Like, it was clear she
was a total lesbian.

Like just come out already.
We all see your haircut,

- no one cares.
- Yeah.

Well, except for Hannah, but, like,
she didn't feel the same way so...

Wait, wait, what?

I mean, I wouldn't want
Samantha to ask me out,

but I wouldn't go and
tell literally everyone.

Ew, why are you looking
at me like that?

What? Are you, like,
in love with me now?

Wait until I tell
literally everyone.

And you know what
else is annoying?

Why is Melissa being
so needy today?

Like, why are you making
today all about you?

You know, Samantha was,
like, actually my friend,

and I get that you have things
going on with your parents,

but, like, Samantha's dead.

Yeah.

Totally, I get it.

Okay, well, I guess the
break's almost over.

This was... weird, but fun.

- I guess.
- Yeah.

Remember that each
and every one of you

should always be
here for one another.

As the Babylonian
Talmud tells us,

all Jews are responsible
for one another.

Tragedy takes a long
time to process.

Super embarrassing.

Thankfully, your faith
will guide you through

and so will your community.

Did you feel this?

- Uh, definitely.
- Okay.

And so, once
everyone is finished,

we will share our
responses out loud

and see how we can best
process our grief together.

- Oh, hi.
- What's up?

How did you think of that quick?

Oh, my God. Don't
even look at me.

Don't look.

- Uh, Moreh Klein?
- Yes, Yitzhaka?

Could I use the restroom?

We just got back from break.

I know, I just thought I
felt a little bit of blood

on the seat, so I thought
maybe I could ask you

if I could go, if
not, it's okay.

- Go.
- Okay.

Whatever.

Toda, Rifkah.

Now, who else would
like to share?

Anyone can share.

There are no wrong
answers. Uh-huh.

I just think this whole
thing is really sad

and it's such a hard
time for all of us.

Also, I was wondering
who drew this?

I'm looking to
commission some artwork.

Dude, you do not
need anymore art.

You have so much.

Thank you for sharing, Yihtzak.

I don't know who drew it.

- Obviously.
- It was worth asking.

Now, would anyone
else like to share?

And I just feel, like,
I really relate to this

because just the shock
and the numbness,

- that's phase one, like I was at camp, and so...
- You okay?

I was really shocked
when I got that call.

And then, like, there's the
sadness part, which I did...

Literally, every atom in my
body is vibrating right now.

I think still stuck in
that busy-ness phase,

because it really just
helps me to cope with grief.

Just keeping busy and, like,
keeping my mind doing other things.

And I just think that
it would be really nice

in a year from now to come
back and do something similar

to what we're doing today.

I always light the
Yehuda for my Bubbe.

She passed away three years
ago, but I'm still really sad

- about that.
- Mmm. Thank you, Miera.

What?

What? Sorry.

Hila, would you like to share?

I just thought what Miera
said is powerful is all.

Toda.

Is that seat open?

Hava, do you have
something to share?

- No, I'm good. Thank you.
- This is a safe space

and you haven't said anything
all day, please, share.

Mmm.

Um...

Okay, um...

I guess I've just
been thinking and...

I realized that none
of this matters.

What doesn't matter?

Um, today and everything,

like... like, this class thing.

I mean, none of us really liked
Samantha that much, right?

Right?

Right, Elaina?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

You said that none of
this really matters

and it's all fake and
no one really cares

- that Samantha's dead.
- Hila, do you feel that way?

Absolutely not. I
never said that.

You literally told
me, like, an hour ago.

Today is a horrible day and
I don't know why you're lying

- and making it worse for everyone.
- I'm not lying.

Maybe we should take
a moment to reflect.

I mean, were any of us surprised
to find out that it was Samantha?

Like, none of us did
anything to help her

'cause we're all too
caught up in our own lives.

God, shut up.

Hava, please.

But you asked me to be honest.

And I'm just tired
of acting like this

has some sort of greater meaning

and we, like, cared so much.

I mean, Samantha killed herself

and nothing that we do here
today is gonna change that.

I know we're all exhausted,

but I think we can have
a productive discussion

about how you feel.

Well, I'm sorry being honest
isn't fucking productive.

Do you have a
worksheet for that?

If you cannot be here today,
you are free to leave.

My ride doesn't get
here until five.

Then maybe you should
go into the hall

and call and see if they
can come get you earlier.

Fine.

Yes, Tzadik.

- I gotta use the bathroom.
- Go.

Now, who else would
like to share?

Shabbat Shalom.

How's everybody doing tonight?

Oh, um...

Oh, sorry.

Oh, no, no. It's
fine, I'm fine.

Welcome to the sanctuary.

So, today's been
crazy boring, right?

- What do you mean?
- And, like, really sad too.

Yeah.

I mean, especially for you.

Cause, like, you know?

I mean, didn't you and
Samantha used to...

Oh, uh, that was fake.

Um...

Topher made that up as a
joke and... 'Cause she's...

She was the... the weird girl who
never talked to any of the boys

and she was really into
yarn and it was messed up.

Now it's even more messed up.

That... that sucks, I'm sorry.

Yeah.

And, like, I feel like
everyone's looking at me,

like I'm, like, super upset
about her dying or whatever.

And that's not even
true because I...

That's... that's not what I...

I mean, it's shit
that she's dead

and I guess I should
have told them

to stop saying all that stuff.

And now this...

thing.

- So you two weren't close?
- What?

You and Samantha.
You weren't close,

- 'cause you didn't ever?
- No, no.

Yeah, same.

Wait, didn't she, like, ask
you out a few weeks ago?

I think she thought
you were, like...

- Like, a lesbian...
- Oh, my God, no.

That's crazy that
you heard that.

Well, you posted it
on your... Right?

I mean, I could have sworn I saw
on your story that you were...

I mean, like, who can remember?
That was all so long ago.

I mean, I don't think
she even meant it.

Yeah.

Well, I wouldn't be surprised.

She never came "out" out, but,

well, she never
had to, you know?

Yeah.

Well, I guess I just
wasn't that into it.

- Sorry.
- Because of the horses?

No.

Actually, yeah.

No, I just...

I don't know why,

but at the time, it
really weirded me out.

It was like... like...

Like maybe she just
really liked you?

Sorry, just being honest.

Well, it's not like I
would never do that.

Yeah, um...

have you, uh, seen
Carrie around or...?

Wasn't she just in class?

Oh, my God, she left.

Wait, why? Is she all right?

I think so. Oh, my...

- She went off on Moreh Klein.
- What did she say?

Like, just that, like,
today's totally fake.

Like, which it is.

I think she's really cool.

I think today's fake too.

Yeah, like, super fake.

It's, like, what are
we even doing here?

Plus, it's, like, today
and then that's it.

We're all gonna just
move on with our lives.

Forget about this tomorrow.

Sorry, that was, like, a lot.

So, uh, you and Carrie are...

You guys are like
best friends, right?

Yeah, she's my best friend.

So, is she, like,
hooking up with anyone

right now or...?

Um, it's not... I... It's
not, like, that big of a...

It's not a big, uh... It's not
that big of a deal or anything.

I just wanted to
know if she, uh...

We've made out before.

Yeah.

We, like, make out and stuff.

It's not like a thing, you know?

It's whatever.

Oh, okay.

She's a good kisser.

So am I.

Oh, uh, cool.

I, I guess?

We kiss boys too, if
you're interested.

Oh, um... I don't, I don't...

I mean, like, if you wanted a
distraction from today, you know?

I was already gonna hang out
with Carrie in the library.

You should join.

Now?

Meet me in the
library in, like, 10.

Um, yeah, okay.
Um, are you sure?

Hannah, are you sure this is
like the right time to be...?

Ah.

Hannah, are you in here?

Hannah?

- Hey.
- I was just calling you.

Yeah, my phone's off.
Where have you been?

I had to get some air.

Plus, it looks like I'm
not the only who skipped.

- I was looking for you.
- That's not what I heard.

Why are you being so weird?

I'm not being weird.

What?

You're, like, um,

like gaslighting me.

No, I'm not.

That's not what that word means.

Yes, it is and you are.

You're telling me
that I'm being weird

but I'm not doing anything.

You're being weird.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are. What do you want?

I don't want anything from you.

Stop being weird.

Fine.

What?

Sorry, didn't mean to
gaslight you again.

You're being a bitch.

So are you.

So, why did you leave?

- I had to get some air.
- That's a lie.

No, it's not. I
wasn't feeling well,

and I had to get some air.

Be honest!

Fine.

I thought we weren't friends
anymore and so I freaked out.

You did?

Yeah.

I just couldn't sit in
that classroom anymore.

I felt like I was...

I told Moreh Klein that
I bled all over the seat.

I'm sure she loved that.

I thought I...

weirded you out.

So I thought I'd
give you some space.

Why would you weird me out?

I don't know.

It was stupid. I'm sorry.

It's fine.

It's just, seeing you
hanging out with Elaina

kind of freaked me out.

- She's actually really not that bad.
- Shut up.

She sucks and
nothing you say or do

will make me change my mind.

She let me hit her vape.

Ew, what?

Yeah, it was pretty fun.

That's so gross.

- What flavor?
- Cucumber.

Cool.

Today's been, like...

- so fucked up.
- I know.

I just keep on thinking, like,

why she did it.

I mean, like, I know it's
a stupid question to ask,

but, like,

why does anyone do
that sort of thing?

What?

Kill themselves?

I mean, like, yeah.

I don't know.

I think she might've just
been depressed, you know?

You don't have to answer.

We're going to be okay though.

Nothing has changed between us.

I mean, you still want to
be my best friend, right?

Yeah, I do.

Okay.

So there's no problem.

Um...

Samantha had a crush on you?

- What?
- Elaina told me that,

um, Samantha had a
crush on you and,

and you told everybody, but, uh,

you didn't tell me.

Why does that matter?

Because I'm your best friend,
why didn't you tell me?

Oh, 'cause it was
dumb. I was drunk.

You were sad about not
being invited to the party.

I didn't want to
hurt your feelings.

Well, that kind of
makes me feel worse

- that you didn't tell me.
- She didn't kill herself

- because she had a crush on me.
- I didn't say that she did.

Okay, so then why did
you ask it like that?

I didn't ask it like anything.

I didn't make her kill herself.

I didn't say that
you did, I just...

Okay, so then what
were you trying to ask?

Nothing! Just...
just forget about it.

Okay, I will.

I mean, it's, like, not on you.

I mean, she had other friends.

I mean, like, she was...

She was invited to the
party and I wasn't.

I guess.

I should have told you.
It's just, it was like...

It was weird and then she died.

It's whatever.

I just didn't know what to do.

I didn't like her like that,

but she was, like,
a nice person.

She was.

I hope she doesn't hate me.

I don't want anyone to hate me.

Even if they're dead.

I don't hate you.

I don't hate you too.

You gonna go back to class?

No, I think I want
to do something else.

Like what? My dad gets
here in, like, 30 minutes.

We'll find something fun to do.

Okay, I don't want to,
like, lay backwards

on the hill outside.

Neither do I. We're
not in fifth grade.

I want to do
something more adult.

Adult?

Come on, trust me.

We can't be sad and
thinking about this

for the rest of our lives.

- Okay, what is it?
- You'll see.

Okay, so, what's the surprise?

Kiss me.

- What?
- Kiss me.

- Please.
- I, uh...

What the fuck?

Uh, hello?

Sorry.

Sorry, sorry.

Hey, Tristan.

Hannah, what is he doing here?

We're all gonna hang out, duh.

Like we hung up before
in the bathroom.

- What?
- Come on, be cool.

- Uh, yeah.
- Don't be jealous.

I thought we were just... I
thought you were just joking.

I didn't think we were
actually going to do this.

Why wouldn't we?

Can I talk to you for a second?

Of course.

We'll be right back.

You know I've never, like...
like, done this before.

I mean, you've, like,
kissed other people before.

Yeah, but I haven't
done, like, everything.

I don't want this to
be how it happens.

Okay, well, you don't
have to do that.

I can do that and he'll
just, like, play with you.

Play with me.

You know, like,
touch you down there.

I know what fingering is.

I wasn't trying to
say that you didn't.

Why the hell would
I want to do this?

You know, I'm actually
really worried about you.

Don't you ever want
to try this stuff?

You can't avoid it forever.

Tristan thinks you're
so hot and cool.

He literally couldn't
stop talking about you.

You're just saying that so you can
play out your stupid, gross fantasy.

It's fun.

- You're using me.
- No, I'm not.

Tristan is only doing this
because he wants to go with you

because he's so, so into you.

Don't overthink this.
Let's just do it.

Why do you even want to do this?

You were, like,
in love with him.

I mean, we're both
gonna, like, be with him.

What if I don't want to?

Why wouldn't you want to?

Why can't you just
hook up with him?

I mean, I like him,
I really like him,

but it's so obvious
that he likes you more.

So I thought maybe
we could share.

Share, got it.

It's a fun thing. It's
not, like, a serious thing.

You want to have sex
in our synagogue.

- Hook up.
- Isn't that sex?

I don't know, we'll just,
like, see what happens.

It's Samantha's funeral.

Who cares? She's dead.

Plus, her ghost didn't
stop you from kissing me.

That was...

That was different.

- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.

You've been fucking
with my head all day.

- No, I haven't.
- Yes, you have.

You know that I like you
and now you're using me

so you can get with Tristan.

No, I'm not. I
didn't know anything.

- I thought you would think this was fun.
- Stop saying that.

This isn't fun. I'm not having
fun. I'm not going to have fun.

Why did you kiss me
in the first place?

I told you. I wanted to
know if I'm a good kisser.

Okay.

Okay.

So, do you want to go back?

- You're so selfish.
- What?

Do you like me at all?

Yes, of course, I like you.

I love you. You're
my best friend.

But not more than that?

More than best friends?

Like, you wouldn't
want to hook up with me

if Tristan wasn't here.

No.

Would you?

I mean...

I don't know.

But you're going
to prom with Ben.

Just because I'm...

Look, I really
liked kissing you,

and I thought you liked it too.

Carrie, I don't think
of you that way.

We're like sisters.

We're, like, closer than
sisters, we're like...

I don't know, and it's not like
I don't think you're pretty,

or smart, or whatever.

And it's cool if you
like me that way.

It's, like, I just, I
don't like you that way,

but it's good if you do?

Is everything all right?

Yeah! Um, everything's great.

Right, Carrie?

It's nice to see you, Tristan.

So, um...

maybe we could hang
out, just the two of us?

- Is... is she okay?
- Yeah.

She seemed really upset.

Oh, yeah, she's fine.
Just a long day.

Did she know this was
gonna happen or...?

Totally, she just, like,
gets like that sometimes.

I feel so bad.

Don't! Don't, I mean,

maybe I can make it up to you.

Um... my mom works late,

- so I have the house to... my house for myself.
- What?!

- What? Are you serious right now?
- Yeah, I mean, totally.

I thought we were just gonna hang out. I
didn't think you actually wanted to do...

- I thought it would be...
- What the fuck is wrong with you?

Look, I'm... I'm not
interested in you at all and...

Fuck, I'm sor...

I gotta go. This is...

It's really not a big deal.

Okay, see you around!

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

I just really need
to sleep right now.

Nothing feels real.

Like, I can see the
code in the simulation.

Hey, Mom. Yeah,
we just got out.

I'm gonna be home later.

Mr. Lowstein's gonna taking
me and Carrie to get food.

Ugh, seriously? Hey!

Carrie, hey!

Would you just look at me?

What, are you, like, mad at me?

Carrie.

I didn't mean to hurt you.

- Hey, I'm here.
- Oh, my God, Carrie.

Carrie!

♪ Through the Juno bush ♪

♪ You see her lips are
miming Gwen Stefani ♪

♪ The horizon takes a trip ♪

♪ Along her body ♪

♪ Staring at the
posters on your wall ♪

♪ As they talk
about my chances ♪

♪ Boy, you're so tragic ♪

♪ Your floor was damaged ♪

♪ From months ago ♪

♪ Where you dropped a hot
comb dancing to neo-soul ♪

♪ The trees are gold ♪

♪ On your iPhone background ♪

♪ Which is funny
'cause you cut down ♪

♪ Like eight last spring
for the new lawn ♪

♪ How's it look, baby? ♪

♪ How's it feel? ♪

♪ Is it too much for you? ♪

♪ Big fucking deal ♪

♪ Me, me, me ♪

♪ That's all we know ♪

♪ Me, me, me ♪

♪ That's all we know ♪

♪ You might think you do ♪

♪ But I bet you don't ♪

♪ You might think you do ♪

♪ But I bet you don't ♪

♪ I heard you joined
the Peace Corps ♪

♪ Planting ferns ♪

♪ And feeding the poor ♪

♪ You're not so bad anymore ♪

♪ Me, me, me ♪

♪ That's all we know ♪

♪ That's all we know
That's all we know ♪

♪ Me, me, me ♪

♪ That's all we know ♪

♪ That's all you know ♪

♪ You might think you do ♪

♪ But I bet you don't ♪

♪ You might think you do ♪

♪ But I bet you don't ♪

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