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1
00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:32,162
[ dog barking ]
2
00:00:38,777 --> 00:00:40,692
[ barking ]
3
00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:14,552
[ crows call ]
4
00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:37,401
[ barking ]
5
00:02:00,424 --> 00:02:02,296
[ barking ]
6
00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:18,921
[ crows call ]
7
00:02:35,938 --> 00:02:37,940
[ barking ]
8
00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:42,988
[ loons cry ]
9
00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:05,707
[ airplane engine starts ]
10
00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:30,210
TOWER: Firing group,
please be tight enough to go.
11
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:09,700
All you have to do
is be our pal.
12
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:12,834
Say nice things
about us.
13
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,270
Tell the folks
at home
14
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:15,793
what a good job
we'’re doing.
15
00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:17,795
Take our offer,
Yossarian.
16
00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:21,886
Either that,
or a court-martial
for desertion.
17
00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:23,975
What about the other men
in the squadron?
18
00:05:23,975 --> 00:05:25,586
I'’d be playing
a rotten trick on them.
19
00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:27,196
They'’ll be happier
when you'’re gone.
20
00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:28,458
Won'’t even
think about you.
21
00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:30,286
They have
a war to win.
22
00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:33,811
Well...
23
00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:35,596
What the hell?
24
00:05:35,596 --> 00:05:37,119
If they don'’t want to
fly any more missions,
25
00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:38,338
they'’ll say so
like I did.
26
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,643
Precisely.
27
00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:40,905
It'’s a deal?
28
00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:44,213
It'’s a deal.
29
00:05:54,223 --> 00:05:56,660
[ rake scrapes ]
30
00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:23,208
Ah...
31
00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:36,396
Help.
32
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,833
[ planes continue
flying overhead ]
33
00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:02,596
PILOT:
Help him.
34
00:07:02,596 --> 00:07:04,380
What? Help him! Help him!
35
00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:05,773
Help who?
36
00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:07,252
Help the bombardier!
37
00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:09,777
I'’m the bombardier.
I'’m all right.
38
00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:12,170
Then help him! Help him!
39
00:07:26,402 --> 00:07:28,186
Snowden.
40
00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:29,884
What'’d he say?
41
00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:31,189
He said, "Snowden."
42
00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:33,496
Snowden'’s dead.
43
00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:38,066
Snowden?
44
00:07:38,066 --> 00:07:40,460
Why is he talking
to a dead man?
45
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,070
Oh, he'’s
Captain Yossarian.
46
00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:44,115
So?
He'’s crazy.
47
00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:45,943
Who says so?
I do.
48
00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:48,424
Why? Just because I said I hate
that S.O.B. over there?
49
00:07:48,424 --> 00:07:50,208
Who?He hates Colonel Cathcart.
50
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:51,601
I didn'’t ask you.
51
00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:53,385
Colonel Cathcart
isn'’t even here.
52
00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:54,691
Who said anything
about Cathcart?
53
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:55,910
Colonel Korn
isn'’t here either.
54
00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:57,215
Who said anything
about Colonel Korn?
55
00:07:57,215 --> 00:07:58,521
Well, what S.O.B.
do you hate, then?
56
00:07:58,521 --> 00:08:00,654
What S.O.B. is here?
57
00:08:00,654 --> 00:08:02,743
You don'’t make any sense.You don'’t even know
who you hate.
58
00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,048
You'’ve got
a persecution complex.
59
00:08:04,048 --> 00:08:05,267
You'’re damn right
I have.
60
00:08:05,267 --> 00:08:06,573
You admit it!
61
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:07,791
I admit I'’m being
persecuted.
62
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:09,184
Yeah? By who?By them!
63
00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:11,273
But who specifically
is "them"?
64
00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:12,796
Every one of them!Every one of who?
65
00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:14,058
Every one of
who do you think?
66
00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:15,320
I don'’t have
any idea!
67
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,061
Then how do you know
they aren'’t?
68
00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:18,454
[ others laughing ]
69
00:08:18,454 --> 00:08:19,847
That'’s sheer
what-do-you-call-it.
70
00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:21,588
Sophistry.Right. Sophistry.
71
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:22,850
Like hell it is.
72
00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:24,373
Those bastards are
trying to kill me!
73
00:08:24,373 --> 00:08:25,809
No one'’s trying to
kill you, sweetheart.
74
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,463
Now eat your dessert
like a good boy.
75
00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:30,031
Oh, yeah?
Then why are they
shooting at me, Milo?
76
00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:32,294
They'’re shooting
at everyone, Yossarian.
77
00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:33,687
And what difference
does that make?
78
00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:35,079
Look, Yossarian,
79
00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:37,212
suppose everyone thought
the same way you do--
80
00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:39,170
I'’d be a damn fool
to think different.
81
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:42,130
You know what? You ought
to have your head examined.
82
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:44,393
There'’s nothing
wrong with it.
83
00:08:44,393 --> 00:08:47,265
Look at it once,
will you?
84
00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:48,789
Sorry, Yossarian,
your head is okay.
85
00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:50,051
Aah!
86
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:51,705
Please, don'’t do that.
87
00:08:55,491 --> 00:08:56,927
Doc.
What?
88
00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:58,320
Doc.
Yeah?
89
00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,582
I want you
to ground me.
90
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:01,105
Don'’t start that again.
91
00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:10,767
Doc.
Yeah.
92
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:12,073
I don'’t want to fly anymore.Why?
93
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:13,770
It'’s dangerous.
Aah!
94
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:15,206
Listen, I told you...
95
00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:18,906
Let'’s get out
of here, huh?
96
00:09:18,906 --> 00:09:20,690
I'’ve flown 35 missions,
for Christ'’s sake.
97
00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:22,213
Take it easy.Now that sadistic nut
98
00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:23,737
has raised the number
up to 50.
99
00:09:23,737 --> 00:09:25,129
In any other outfit,
100
00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:26,478
I would have been
rotated after 25.
101
00:09:26,478 --> 00:09:27,958
Doc, you gotta
help me out.
102
00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:29,656
Look, I'’m due
for rotation myself
103
00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:31,309
in a couple of months
104
00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:34,051
if I don'’t cause any trouble
or break any rules.
105
00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:36,314
And the rules say
I can'’t ground anyone
106
00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:37,881
just because
he asks me to.
107
00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:39,491
Can you ground
somebody crazy?
108
00:09:39,491 --> 00:09:40,754
Of course.
I have to.
109
00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:43,104
There'’s a rule
that says so.
110
00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:44,496
I'’m crazy!
111
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:45,759
Who says so?
112
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:47,064
Ask anybody. Ask--
113
00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:48,849
Hey, Orr!
114
00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:50,285
Orr, tell him!Tell him what?
115
00:09:50,285 --> 00:09:51,895
Am I crazy?
116
00:09:51,895 --> 00:09:54,376
He'’s crazy, doc.
He won'’t fly with me.
117
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:56,508
I take good care of him,
but he won'’t.
118
00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:59,120
He'’s crazy, all right.
119
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,252
That'’s proof, isn'’t it?
They all say I'’m crazy.
120
00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:02,514
They'’re crazy.
121
00:10:02,514 --> 00:10:03,733
Then why don'’t you
ground them?
122
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:05,126
Why they don'’t
ask me to?
123
00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:06,649
Because they'’re
crazy, that'’s why.
124
00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,869
Of course they'’re crazy.
I just told you that.
125
00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:10,697
And you can'’t let
crazy people decide
126
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:12,307
whether you'’re crazy
or not, can you?
127
00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:17,529
Is Orr crazy?Of course he is.
128
00:10:17,529 --> 00:10:20,881
He has to be to keep flying
after all his close calls.
129
00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:22,665
Why can'’t you ground him?
130
00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:24,580
I can, but first
he has to ask me.
131
00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:26,277
That'’s all he'’s gotta do
to be grounded?
132
00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:28,105
That'’s all.Then you can ground him?
133
00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:30,630
No. Then I cannot
ground him.
134
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,327
Aah!
There'’s a catch.
135
00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:33,763
A catch?
136
00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:35,286
Sure. Catch-22.
137
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:37,375
Anyone who wants
to get out of combat
138
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:38,986
isn'’t really crazy,
so I can'’t ground him.
139
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:45,122
Okay, let me see if
I'’ve got this straight.
140
00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:47,037
In order
to be grounded,
141
00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:48,343
I'’ve got to be
crazy.
142
00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:50,954
I must be crazy
to keep flying.
143
00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:53,043
But if I ask
to be grounded,
144
00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:54,566
that means I'’m not
crazy anymore,
145
00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:55,916
and I have to
keep flying.
146
00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:57,439
You'’ve got it.
That'’s catch-22.
147
00:10:57,439 --> 00:10:59,223
Whoo!
148
00:11:03,358 --> 00:11:06,622
That'’s some catch,
that catch-22.
149
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:08,580
It'’s the best
there is.
150
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:13,237
Good afternoon, men.
151
00:11:13,237 --> 00:11:15,500
This is Major Danby,
your flight operations officer,
152
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:18,547
welcoming you
to today'’s mission.
153
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:21,115
You'’ve all been briefed
on this morning'’s run,
154
00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:23,813
so I won'’t go over
the details again.
155
00:11:23,813 --> 00:11:25,946
There'’s no sense
naming names,
156
00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:27,861
since the enemy is
probably listening,
157
00:11:27,861 --> 00:11:30,690
and there'’s no reason
I can think of to tell them
158
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,301
exactly where
we'’re going to strike.
159
00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:36,783
That'’s the stupidest goddamn
thing I ever heard him say.
160
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,306
That'’s right.
161
00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:40,961
Weather conditions
have improved tremendously
162
00:11:40,961 --> 00:11:42,397
over the mainland,
163
00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:44,094
so you won'’t have
any trouble at all
164
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:45,574
seeing the target.
165
00:11:45,574 --> 00:11:47,619
Of course,
you mustn'’t forget,
166
00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:51,754
that means that they will have
no trouble at all seeing you.
167
00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:53,451
I believe Colonel Cathcart
168
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:55,889
would like to say a few words
before takeoff, men,
169
00:11:55,889 --> 00:11:57,891
and so without
further ado--
170
00:11:57,891 --> 00:12:00,197
Give me that!
171
00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:04,375
Men, I won'’t waste any more
of your time than I have to.
172
00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:06,682
I wish you good luck
on today'’s mission.
173
00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:09,337
To those of you
who won'’t be coming back,
174
00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:11,034
I'’d like to say
we'’ll do our best
175
00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:14,211
to take care of your wives
and/or sweethearts.
176
00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:15,778
And don'’t forget:
177
00:12:15,778 --> 00:12:18,563
General Dreedle
wants to see a nice,
178
00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:20,348
tight bombing pattern
179
00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:23,046
on those aerial
photographs.
180
00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:24,744
Everyone ready to go?
181
00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:39,661
Now, Colonel Korn,
182
00:14:39,661 --> 00:14:42,316
I'’d like you to stay
in the control tower.
183
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:44,492
Stay on top of this mission.
It'’s a tough one.
184
00:14:44,492 --> 00:14:46,842
I'’d like to know when
my boys make target.
185
00:14:46,842 --> 00:14:48,409
Yes, sir.
186
00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:51,847
What is it,
Lieutenant Minderbinder?
187
00:14:51,847 --> 00:14:53,588
An egg, sir.
188
00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:56,069
I know that,
Lieutenant.
189
00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:58,636
A fresh egg, sir.
190
00:14:58,636 --> 00:15:00,334
Where did you
get the egg?
191
00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:02,075
In Malta, sir,
192
00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:06,035
where there are enough
chickens to lay fresh eggs
193
00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:08,255
for every officer
in the squadron,
194
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:12,085
at 5 cents apiece
from the mess fund.
195
00:15:12,085 --> 00:15:13,956
[ airplanes flying overhead ]Yes?
196
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:17,786
With a clear profit
of 2 cents per egg.
197
00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:20,267
For whom?
198
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:25,489
Sir, for whomever sells
the eggs to the mess.
199
00:15:25,489 --> 00:15:28,536
And who may
that be, Milo?
200
00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:30,016
Ah, sir.
201
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:32,670
Oranges from Marrakesh,
and pecans.
202
00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:34,759
Pecans!And in Palermo, sir,
203
00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:37,762
10,000 gallons of the finest
Italian olive oil.
204
00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:40,243
The Sicilians
need blankets.
205
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:41,984
It would be
a fair trade, sir.
206
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,638
There'’s an interested
party in Sardinia.
207
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:45,945
All we need
is the cooperation
208
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,990
of the countries
we'’re dealing with.
209
00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:49,774
What countries
are you dealing with?
210
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:51,298
The African nations--African?
211
00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:53,778
Countries in the greater
Mediterranean area.
212
00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:56,216
Oh, I see.So, what we have to have
213
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:57,957
is an additional
assignment of personnel...
214
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,959
[ aircraft tires screeching ]
215
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,525
...a little time,
and a plane.
216
00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:03,701
[ loud crash and explosion ][ inaudible speech ]
217
00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:05,225
If I had one
at my disposal,
218
00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:07,053
I could get the eggs.
219
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:09,925
Well, all right, Milo.
220
00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:11,666
And if I was taken off
combat duty, sir,
221
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:14,669
that is, just until I get this
thing into operation...
222
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:16,801
But, Milo--I know, sir.
223
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:19,239
I'’m just an acting mess
officer, Colonel,
224
00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:21,763
but the job requires
my full attention.
225
00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:23,765
It'’s to everyone'’s benefit.Well, all right.
226
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,332
Take whatever
you need, Milo.
227
00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:27,899
Thank you, sir.
I hope to give the men here
228
00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:30,598
the finest cuisine
in the entire world.
229
00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:33,557
That'’s really something
to shoot at, isn'’t it?
230
00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:36,473
Yes, Milo,
it certainly is.
231
00:16:36,473 --> 00:16:38,258
[ explosion ]
232
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:39,781
[ ambulance bells ringing ]
233
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:47,136
With the Colonel'’s
permission,
234
00:16:47,136 --> 00:16:48,920
I'’d like to show him something
I'’ve had printed up.
235
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,357
Oh. Well,
what is it?
236
00:16:50,357 --> 00:16:51,619
Just an idea, sir.
237
00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:52,837
It'’s a share.
238
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:54,100
A share?
239
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,492
In M & M Enterprises.
240
00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:57,799
I think if we can get
my ideas into practice,
241
00:16:57,799 --> 00:16:59,975
it should be organized
along the lines of a mart--
242
00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:01,411
A mart?
243
00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:03,109
Yes, sir.
A syndicate.
244
00:17:03,109 --> 00:17:04,893
An enterprise.
245
00:17:04,893 --> 00:17:06,677
There are tremendous profits
to be made, Colonel.
246
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:07,983
For us?
247
00:17:07,983 --> 00:17:09,550
For everyone.
I feel, sir,
248
00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:11,595
that what would be
good for M & M Enterprises
249
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:14,076
would be good
for the country.
250
00:17:15,686 --> 00:17:17,645
You'’ll have our full
cooperation, Milo.
251
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,081
Thank you, sir.
252
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:20,648
If I could take a plane
this afternoon,
253
00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:22,563
I'’d like to get this
material to Alexandria.
254
00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:25,566
There'’s a huge cotton
crop this year.
255
00:17:25,566 --> 00:17:27,089
Cotton?
Yes, sir.
256
00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:29,135
Cotton is a particularly
liquid commodity.
257
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:30,701
How much?We'’ll trade for it, sir.
258
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:32,442
With what?
259
00:17:32,442 --> 00:17:34,270
Silk.
260
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:36,272
Four thousand yards of silk.
261
00:17:36,272 --> 00:17:40,363
How in the world did you
get hold of so much silk?
262
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:42,061
Where the hell'’s
my parachute?
263
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:46,587
Okay, all right.
264
00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:48,763
Which one of you bastards
stole my parachute?
265
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:57,989
Hello? Hello?
266
00:17:57,989 --> 00:17:59,948
This is the bombardier here.
267
00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:02,559
We got to turn back.
268
00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:05,388
Uh, Nately,
we got to turn back now.
269
00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:07,825
Ahem, um, Nately!
270
00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:10,393
You hear me up there?
We got to turn back.
271
00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:12,352
Okay, we'’re going
to turn back now.
272
00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:14,702
Nately, let'’s turn back.
273
00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:16,530
We'’re going to turn back.
274
00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:19,663
What is it this time,
Yossarian?
275
00:18:19,663 --> 00:18:21,317
Some bastard
stole my chute.
276
00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:23,014
Ah...
277
00:18:23,014 --> 00:18:24,277
Anything
the matter?
278
00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:25,539
My parachute...
279
00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:26,757
What about it?
280
00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:28,019
It'’s gone.
281
00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:29,456
Don'’t worry
about it.
282
00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:30,892
What do you mean,
"Don'’t worry about it"?
283
00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:32,502
What am I supposed to do
if I have to bail out,
284
00:18:32,502 --> 00:18:34,200
use my handkerchief?
285
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,811
That'’s the kind of humor
in the face of adversity
286
00:18:36,811 --> 00:18:38,726
that keeps America
strong.
287
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:40,293
I like you,
Yossarian.
288
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:41,946
Listen, Aardvark,
I'’d like to kill you,
289
00:18:41,946 --> 00:18:43,818
but I haven'’t
got time right now.
290
00:18:43,818 --> 00:18:46,560
You could have my chute,
but I gave it to Milo.
291
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,779
You gave it to Milo?
292
00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:50,651
He'’s got
all the chutes.
293
00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:53,349
He'’s got a hell of a deal
going for silk in Alexandria.
294
00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:55,786
Maybe I do have
time to k--
295
00:18:55,786 --> 00:18:57,092
Aah!
296
00:18:57,092 --> 00:18:58,615
Looks like they'’ve
seen us coming.
297
00:18:58,615 --> 00:19:02,750
They'’ve seen us!
Oh, God! They'’ve seen us!
298
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:05,753
Better get ready
to dump those eggs.
299
00:19:05,753 --> 00:19:07,102
Oh!
300
00:19:07,102 --> 00:19:09,409
Somebody!
301
00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:11,933
They'’re shooting at me!
302
00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:13,891
Where are we?
303
00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:17,286
Hey, Aardvark,
where are we?
304
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:25,773
I think we'’re there.
305
00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:27,427
We'’re there?
306
00:19:29,211 --> 00:19:30,952
We'’re there?
307
00:19:30,952 --> 00:19:33,563
We'’re there.
308
00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:35,522
Get ready to turn.
309
00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:37,350
4...
310
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:39,090
3...
311
00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:40,483
2...
312
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:42,137
1...
313
00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:43,573
Drop!
314
00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:44,922
Let'’s go!
315
00:19:44,922 --> 00:19:47,142
Turn right, hard!
316
00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:50,711
Turn, turn! Turn,
you son of a bitch!
317
00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:52,495
Turn right!
318
00:19:52,495 --> 00:19:54,323
Turn! Turn right!
319
00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:56,107
Look at that, will you?
320
00:19:56,107 --> 00:19:57,500
I think we'’ve got '’em
this time.
321
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,198
I think we'’ve got '’em
where it hurts.
322
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,330
Get out of here!I can'’t hear you.
323
00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:02,766
Get back
in the ship.
324
00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:04,028
What'’s that?
325
00:20:04,028 --> 00:20:06,466
Oh! Climb, you bastard!
326
00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:08,032
Climb! Climb!
327
00:20:09,382 --> 00:20:11,340
Fire!
328
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:13,603
Fire onboard!
329
00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:15,562
Fire?
Where'’s the fire?
330
00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:18,086
Aardvark,
get out of the nose.
331
00:20:18,086 --> 00:20:20,131
You'’ll have to speak up.
I still can'’t hear you.
332
00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:21,655
Are you trying to kill us?
333
00:20:21,655 --> 00:20:23,178
Don'’t you understand?
Get out of here!
334
00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:24,701
PILOT: Which way
should I go?
335
00:20:24,701 --> 00:20:27,226
Turn left,
you son of a bitch!
336
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,315
Turn left! Oh!
337
00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:30,751
Wow!
There goes Orr.
338
00:20:35,408 --> 00:20:37,061
That stupid
little bastard.
339
00:20:37,061 --> 00:20:38,324
Pull up!
340
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:40,064
[ explosion ]
341
00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:50,249
Hey, I think you'’ve caught
a little something there.
342
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,816
Is that my leg?
343
00:20:55,166 --> 00:20:56,951
Hey, is that my leg?
344
00:20:59,432 --> 00:21:01,129
What'’s with my leg?
345
00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:02,609
Take it easy.
346
00:21:02,609 --> 00:21:03,740
My leg!
347
00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:11,008
Yossarian'’s
caught one.
348
00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:15,317
What'’s that?
I don'’t get you.
349
00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:16,666
PILOT:
Help him.
350
00:21:16,666 --> 00:21:17,972
What?
351
00:21:17,972 --> 00:21:19,713
Help him! Help him!
352
00:21:19,713 --> 00:21:20,975
Help who?
353
00:21:20,975 --> 00:21:22,542
Help the bombardier!
354
00:21:22,542 --> 00:21:24,544
I'’m the bombardier.
I'’m all right.
355
00:21:24,544 --> 00:21:26,197
Then help him! Help him!
356
00:21:31,986 --> 00:21:33,683
[ wind gusting ]
357
00:22:06,673 --> 00:22:08,022
It'’s, uh...
358
00:22:09,763 --> 00:22:12,243
What'’s his name?
The new gunner?
359
00:22:12,243 --> 00:22:13,941
Snowden.
Yeah.
360
00:22:18,206 --> 00:22:19,512
Snowden.
361
00:22:58,333 --> 00:22:59,813
I'’m cold.
362
00:22:59,813 --> 00:23:02,511
Okay. You'’re
going to be okay.
363
00:23:02,511 --> 00:23:06,428
Cold. I'’m cold.
364
00:23:19,485 --> 00:23:21,182
WOMAN:
Over here!
365
00:23:21,182 --> 00:23:24,751
Hurry up! Hey!
366
00:24:34,385 --> 00:24:35,996
What?
367
00:24:35,996 --> 00:24:38,346
I asked how
you were feeling.
368
00:24:44,091 --> 00:24:45,571
Oh.
369
00:24:47,268 --> 00:24:49,096
Better, thank you.
370
00:24:50,793 --> 00:24:52,752
What about you?
371
00:24:54,710 --> 00:24:56,277
Me?
372
00:24:56,277 --> 00:24:57,974
Fairly well,
thank you.
373
00:24:57,974 --> 00:24:59,541
You'’re welcome.
374
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:04,590
Except for a slight
head cold.
375
00:25:04,590 --> 00:25:06,374
Mm...
376
00:25:06,374 --> 00:25:08,202
Had it
for about a week.
377
00:25:08,202 --> 00:25:10,073
Can'’t seem to shake it.
378
00:25:10,073 --> 00:25:12,467
You know
what they'’re like.
379
00:25:12,467 --> 00:25:15,339
No, I, uh...
380
00:25:15,339 --> 00:25:17,080
I don'’t.
381
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,779
I'’ve never really
had a head cold.
382
00:25:19,779 --> 00:25:22,172
I'’ve tried, but, uh...
383
00:25:22,172 --> 00:25:24,523
[ both laugh ]
384
00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:27,482
...can'’t seem to
be able to get one.
385
00:25:27,482 --> 00:25:30,311
Well, you'’re
very lucky.
386
00:25:31,878 --> 00:25:35,272
Yes, I suppose I am.
387
00:25:36,752 --> 00:25:38,319
Except for this
piece of shrapnel
388
00:25:38,319 --> 00:25:40,887
I caught in my leg.
389
00:25:40,887 --> 00:25:42,323
Yes.
390
00:25:46,283 --> 00:25:50,636
I'’ve never caught
a piece of shrapnel.
391
00:25:50,636 --> 00:25:52,072
Mmm.
392
00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:07,043
You'’re a chaplain!
393
00:26:07,043 --> 00:26:09,698
Yes. Didn'’t you
know that?
394
00:26:09,698 --> 00:26:12,353
No, I didn'’t.
395
00:26:12,353 --> 00:26:14,703
I'’ve never really seen
a chaplain before.
396
00:26:14,703 --> 00:26:17,576
I had no idea chaplains
looked like that.
397
00:26:17,576 --> 00:26:21,667
Oh, well...well.
398
00:26:21,667 --> 00:26:23,843
If I can do anything
to help you,
399
00:26:23,843 --> 00:26:25,453
anything at all,
you--
400
00:26:25,453 --> 00:26:27,281
Anything?
401
00:26:29,065 --> 00:26:32,460
Like books, or...
or cigarettes.
402
00:26:33,983 --> 00:26:35,550
Toys?
403
00:26:35,550 --> 00:26:37,508
No, I have
everything I need.
404
00:26:37,508 --> 00:26:39,859
Thank you very much.
405
00:26:39,859 --> 00:26:43,514
Uh...You could do
one thing for me.
406
00:26:43,514 --> 00:26:45,691
What?
407
00:26:45,691 --> 00:26:47,954
Well, if you could speak
to Major Duluth...
408
00:26:47,954 --> 00:26:49,346
The squadron commander.Yes.
409
00:26:49,346 --> 00:26:51,174
And tell him I don'’t
want to fly anymore.
410
00:26:51,174 --> 00:26:53,960
Cathcart'’s raised the number
of missions again.
411
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,788
He'’s trying
to kill us all.
412
00:26:55,788 --> 00:26:58,747
I can'’t do it.
I'’m desperate.
413
00:26:58,747 --> 00:27:01,358
It'’s not my business--I'’m desperate!
414
00:27:01,358 --> 00:27:02,882
I'’ll see
what I can do.
415
00:27:02,882 --> 00:27:06,189
I really will.
I'’ll do my best.
416
00:27:06,189 --> 00:27:07,800
Aah!
417
00:27:13,980 --> 00:27:15,459
[ whispering, indistinct ]
418
00:27:22,597 --> 00:27:25,295
Remember, it takes me
45 minutes to do this thing.
419
00:27:25,295 --> 00:27:27,646
First I sauté
the chicken parts,
420
00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:29,604
take them out,
421
00:27:29,604 --> 00:27:31,519
then I put the raisins
and the almonds in...
422
00:27:31,519 --> 00:27:33,477
[ both whispering ]
423
00:27:48,928 --> 00:27:51,365
Aah!
424
00:27:52,975 --> 00:27:55,021
[ tires squeal, cars crash ]
425
00:27:55,021 --> 00:27:56,631
He-- He yelled.
426
00:27:58,546 --> 00:28:02,550
I'’m-- I'’m--
I'’m awfully sorry, sir.
427
00:28:02,550 --> 00:28:03,943
What'’s your name?
428
00:28:03,943 --> 00:28:05,727
Um, Major, sir.
429
00:28:05,727 --> 00:28:08,556
I didn'’t ask your rank.
I asked your name.
430
00:28:08,556 --> 00:28:10,123
I know, sir.
I'’m a captain.
431
00:28:10,123 --> 00:28:13,604
My name is Major.
Captain Major.
432
00:28:13,604 --> 00:28:16,695
Just about as clear
as mud, isn'’t it?
433
00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:18,827
About as clear,
all right.
434
00:28:18,827 --> 00:28:21,177
Well, captain,
you'’re familiar
435
00:28:21,177 --> 00:28:23,092
with Major Duluth,
the squadron commander?
436
00:28:23,092 --> 00:28:25,442
Yes, sir.
He'’s a fine man, sir.
437
00:28:25,442 --> 00:28:27,401
Was.Uh, sir?
438
00:28:27,401 --> 00:28:29,446
Major Duluth is dead.
439
00:28:29,446 --> 00:28:31,492
I'’m extremely distraught
to hear that, sir.
440
00:28:31,492 --> 00:28:34,277
You may be distraught,
but he'’s dead--
441
00:28:34,277 --> 00:28:37,628
Shot down over Perugia
this afternoon.
442
00:28:37,628 --> 00:28:39,805
That'’ll teach him to go fooling
around on bombing missions
443
00:28:39,805 --> 00:28:42,372
when he'’s supposed to be
working in the office.
444
00:28:42,372 --> 00:28:44,026
Sir, I don'’t
see what--
445
00:28:44,026 --> 00:28:46,681
It means we'’ll need
a new squadron commander.
446
00:28:46,681 --> 00:28:48,727
You'’re the only
major available
447
00:28:48,727 --> 00:28:50,467
on our headquarters staff.
448
00:28:50,467 --> 00:28:52,774
Major is my name,
not my rank.
449
00:28:52,774 --> 00:28:55,037
That'’s close enough
for me, Major.
450
00:28:55,037 --> 00:28:57,257
Consider yourself
a major now.
451
00:28:57,257 --> 00:28:59,955
I don'’t know anything about
being squadron commander.
452
00:28:59,955 --> 00:29:02,479
We all have to make
sacrifices, Major.
453
00:29:02,479 --> 00:29:05,439
Sir, I'’m in billeting
and laundry.
454
00:29:05,439 --> 00:29:06,962
I know that, sir,
455
00:29:06,962 --> 00:29:09,312
but we all have to do
our part, I guess.
456
00:29:09,312 --> 00:29:11,706
Well, I don'’t like my part.
457
00:29:20,584 --> 00:29:23,152
Sergeant, I'’m, uh...
I'’m going to take
458
00:29:23,152 --> 00:29:24,675
the rest
of the afternoon off
459
00:29:24,675 --> 00:29:28,810
and lie down in my tent,
and think about things.
460
00:29:28,810 --> 00:29:31,987
Sir, someone'’s waiting
to see you.
461
00:29:31,987 --> 00:29:33,728
Now?
462
00:29:33,728 --> 00:29:34,860
Yes, sir.
463
00:29:36,513 --> 00:29:37,776
Who is it?
464
00:29:37,776 --> 00:29:39,038
Captain Tappman, sir.
465
00:29:39,038 --> 00:29:40,300
He'’s a group chaplain.
466
00:29:40,300 --> 00:29:42,041
Well, what
does he want?
467
00:29:42,041 --> 00:29:44,695
I don'’t know, sir. Something
to do with Captain Yossarian.
468
00:29:49,004 --> 00:29:51,441
Look, um, Sergeant...
469
00:29:53,966 --> 00:29:56,620
the job that I have
to do is tough enough
470
00:29:56,620 --> 00:29:58,318
without having to deal
all the time
471
00:29:58,318 --> 00:30:00,320
with a lot of people
who want something.
472
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:01,538
Do I make myself clear?
473
00:30:01,538 --> 00:30:03,062
Yes, sir.
474
00:30:03,062 --> 00:30:04,628
I suppose you'’re
wondering about this.
475
00:30:04,628 --> 00:30:07,109
No, sir. It'’s not
my place to wonder.
476
00:30:07,109 --> 00:30:09,416
I don'’t like people
staring at me, Sergeant.
477
00:30:09,416 --> 00:30:10,983
People stare at me.
Did you know that?
478
00:30:10,983 --> 00:30:12,506
No, sir.Because they'’re thinking,
479
00:30:12,506 --> 00:30:13,942
"Who'’s that Major Major,
480
00:30:13,942 --> 00:30:15,683
"that he gets to be
squadron commander
481
00:30:15,683 --> 00:30:17,903
without ever having
flown in a plane?"
482
00:30:17,903 --> 00:30:20,035
Oh, I don'’t think people
are thinking that, sir.
483
00:30:20,035 --> 00:30:21,515
Well, they are.
484
00:30:21,515 --> 00:30:23,343
But when
I have this on,
485
00:30:23,343 --> 00:30:24,605
they don'’t know
who I am.
486
00:30:24,605 --> 00:30:26,041
[ laughs ]
487
00:30:26,041 --> 00:30:28,609
Did you know,
in the Middle Ages
488
00:30:28,609 --> 00:30:31,525
a lot of princes
and kings
489
00:30:31,525 --> 00:30:33,875
put on disguises and walked
around their subjects?
490
00:30:33,875 --> 00:30:35,529
No, sir,
I didn'’t know that.
491
00:30:35,529 --> 00:30:37,226
So you don'’t know everything,
do you, Sergeant?
492
00:30:37,226 --> 00:30:40,360
No, sir.
Why did they do that?
493
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:41,970
Why did who do what?
494
00:30:41,970 --> 00:30:43,711
Why did princes
and kings
495
00:30:43,711 --> 00:30:45,278
walk around
in disguise?
496
00:30:45,278 --> 00:30:47,193
How the hell
should I know?
497
00:30:47,193 --> 00:30:50,152
I'’m not some
historian or anything.
498
00:30:50,152 --> 00:30:53,025
Just a guy trying
to do his job.
499
00:30:53,025 --> 00:30:54,896
Good afternoon,
Sergeant.
500
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:57,943
Sir?
501
00:30:57,943 --> 00:30:59,379
What is it now?
502
00:30:59,379 --> 00:31:01,207
What about
the chaplain?
503
00:31:01,207 --> 00:31:02,730
Sergeant,
from now on,
504
00:31:02,730 --> 00:31:04,253
I don'’t want anyone
coming in to see me
505
00:31:04,253 --> 00:31:05,994
while I'’m in my office,
is that clear?
506
00:31:05,994 --> 00:31:08,214
Yes, sir. What do
I say to people?
507
00:31:08,214 --> 00:31:10,477
Tell them I'’m in and
ask them to wait.
508
00:31:10,477 --> 00:31:12,044
For how long?Until I'’ve left.
509
00:31:12,044 --> 00:31:13,436
Then what?
510
00:31:13,436 --> 00:31:14,960
I don'’t care.
511
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:16,570
May I send people in
after you'’ve left?
512
00:31:16,570 --> 00:31:18,311
Yes.You won'’t be here then?
513
00:31:18,311 --> 00:31:20,008
No.I see, sir. Will that be all?
514
00:31:20,008 --> 00:31:22,054
Also, I don'’t want
you coming in
515
00:31:22,054 --> 00:31:24,578
asking me if there'’s
anything you can do for me.
516
00:31:24,578 --> 00:31:25,971
Is that clear?Yes, sir.
517
00:31:25,971 --> 00:31:27,973
When should I ask you?
518
00:31:27,973 --> 00:31:29,888
When I'’m not there.
519
00:31:29,888 --> 00:31:31,454
What do I do then?
520
00:31:31,454 --> 00:31:33,543
Whatever has to be done.Yes, sir.
521
00:31:33,543 --> 00:31:35,328
I'’m sorry I have to
talk to you this way,
522
00:31:35,328 --> 00:31:37,983
but I have to.
523
00:31:37,983 --> 00:31:39,332
Goodbye.
524
00:31:39,332 --> 00:31:40,899
Goodbye, sir.
525
00:31:46,861 --> 00:31:48,254
Sergeant?
526
00:31:48,254 --> 00:31:49,646
Yes, sir?
527
00:31:49,646 --> 00:31:51,039
Thank you.
For everything.
528
00:31:51,039 --> 00:31:52,606
Thank you, sir.
529
00:31:58,264 --> 00:32:00,396
The major will
see you now, Father.
530
00:32:00,396 --> 00:32:02,616
Oh. Thank you.[ phone rings ]
531
00:32:02,616 --> 00:32:04,879
You don'’t have to
call me Father. I'’m--
532
00:32:04,879 --> 00:32:06,620
Sergeant Towser
speaking.
533
00:32:06,620 --> 00:32:08,448
Will you go in?
534
00:32:08,448 --> 00:32:10,667
Yes, sir.
535
00:32:10,667 --> 00:32:12,365
Have it here, sir.
536
00:32:19,633 --> 00:32:21,243
There'’s no one here.
537
00:32:21,243 --> 00:32:24,246
Where?In Major Major'’s office.
538
00:32:24,246 --> 00:32:26,553
When?
539
00:32:26,553 --> 00:32:28,120
When you go
to see him.
540
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:31,253
What I mean is
you can'’t see him
541
00:32:31,253 --> 00:32:33,952
when he'’s there
in his office.
542
00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:36,084
I'’ve tried
several times.
543
00:32:36,084 --> 00:32:38,260
So when can you
see him? Ever?
544
00:32:38,260 --> 00:32:40,219
Yes. Yes, yes,
indeed.
545
00:32:40,219 --> 00:32:43,613
You can see him
when he isn'’t there.
546
00:32:43,613 --> 00:32:46,225
That is,
he'’ll see you,
547
00:32:46,225 --> 00:32:49,054
but only
in his office
548
00:32:49,054 --> 00:32:50,446
and only when
he'’s not there.
549
00:32:50,446 --> 00:32:53,493
The other times,
when he'’s in,
550
00:32:53,493 --> 00:32:56,670
he'’s not, uh...
551
00:32:56,670 --> 00:32:58,585
there...
552
00:32:58,585 --> 00:33:00,456
to be seen...
553
00:33:00,456 --> 00:33:02,589
Except when
he'’s out.
554
00:33:02,589 --> 00:33:05,070
What the hell are you
talking about, Father?
555
00:33:05,070 --> 00:33:06,767
Sir?
556
00:33:06,767 --> 00:33:08,551
Get your ass
in here, Padre.
557
00:33:11,250 --> 00:33:12,773
Were you describing
558
00:33:12,773 --> 00:33:14,775
some mystical
experience you'’ve had?
559
00:33:14,775 --> 00:33:17,473
No, sir. It'’s just that some
peculiar things are happening.
560
00:33:17,473 --> 00:33:20,259
You haven'’t had any
ecstatic visions, have you?
561
00:33:20,259 --> 00:33:21,912
No, sir.Didn'’t see a burning bush?
562
00:33:21,912 --> 00:33:24,089
Hear any voices?
563
00:33:24,089 --> 00:33:25,873
No, it wasn'’t anything
quite so extraordinary--
564
00:33:25,873 --> 00:33:27,440
I hope not.
565
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:30,138
I think we have to keep
our supernatural episodes
566
00:33:30,138 --> 00:33:32,749
down to a minimum,
what with a war to win.
567
00:33:32,749 --> 00:33:34,534
You get my meaning?
568
00:33:34,534 --> 00:33:35,839
Absolutely, sir.
569
00:33:35,839 --> 00:33:37,145
May I ask where
we'’re going?
570
00:33:37,145 --> 00:33:38,755
Where we'’regoing?
571
00:33:38,755 --> 00:33:41,149
You are going to
Colonel Cathcart'’s office.
572
00:33:41,149 --> 00:33:42,629
Now?
573
00:33:42,629 --> 00:33:46,024
That'’s the idea,
Padre: now.
574
00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:48,330
Is there anything
wrong, sir?
575
00:33:48,330 --> 00:33:50,115
Have I done anything?
576
00:33:50,115 --> 00:33:51,855
I don'’t know, Padre.
577
00:33:51,855 --> 00:33:53,770
Are you and Captain Yossarian
up to something?
578
00:33:53,770 --> 00:33:55,163
I don'’t know what
you mean, sir.
579
00:33:55,163 --> 00:33:56,469
You don'’t, huh?
Then who does?
580
00:33:56,469 --> 00:33:58,253
I don'’t know, sir.
581
00:33:58,253 --> 00:34:01,474
You don'’t know much about
anything, do you, Father?
582
00:34:01,474 --> 00:34:04,085
No, sir. Uh, sir...
583
00:34:04,085 --> 00:34:05,434
What is it?
584
00:34:05,434 --> 00:34:07,610
It'’s not necessary
to call me Father.
585
00:34:07,610 --> 00:34:09,656
I'’m an Anabaptist.
586
00:34:09,656 --> 00:34:11,527
Well, thanks for
the correction.
587
00:34:11,527 --> 00:34:13,616
Thanks for setting me
straight on that.
588
00:34:13,616 --> 00:34:14,922
I thought you'’d
like to know--
589
00:34:14,922 --> 00:34:16,445
Listen, Padre,
you'’re a captain, right?
590
00:34:16,445 --> 00:34:18,143
Yes, sir.And I'’m a lieutenant-colonel.
591
00:34:18,143 --> 00:34:19,796
Is that correct so far?
592
00:34:19,796 --> 00:34:21,407
Yes, sir, it is.
593
00:34:21,407 --> 00:34:23,235
Then I can call you just
about anything I want to,
594
00:34:23,235 --> 00:34:25,454
unless, of course,
you have some objection.
595
00:34:25,454 --> 00:34:26,803
No, sir.
Out!
596
00:34:26,803 --> 00:34:28,327
Thank you, sir.
597
00:34:30,285 --> 00:34:31,721
Uh, sir,
do you think now--
598
00:34:34,898 --> 00:34:36,161
Good morning.
Ah!
599
00:34:36,161 --> 00:34:37,423
Is there anything
I can get you?
600
00:34:37,423 --> 00:34:38,685
Morning. What?
601
00:34:38,685 --> 00:34:40,687
Do you need anything?
Any supplies?
602
00:34:40,687 --> 00:34:41,949
No.
Whiskey?
603
00:34:41,949 --> 00:34:43,559
Silk stockings?
Building material?
604
00:34:43,559 --> 00:34:46,432
Fresh fruit?
605
00:34:46,432 --> 00:34:47,694
Oh, well, I--
606
00:34:47,694 --> 00:34:48,956
what about
religious supplies?
607
00:34:48,956 --> 00:34:50,262
As a matter of fact,
Father,
608
00:34:50,262 --> 00:34:51,741
I can get my hands
on an entire shipment
609
00:34:51,741 --> 00:34:53,613
of religious relics blessed
by the pope himself.
610
00:34:53,613 --> 00:34:55,397
The Germans swiped them
and put them on the market.
611
00:34:55,397 --> 00:34:57,007
As I understand it,
the stuff includes
612
00:34:57,007 --> 00:34:58,748
the wrists and collarbones
of some top saints.
613
00:34:58,748 --> 00:35:00,141
That'’s very kind
of you.
614
00:35:00,141 --> 00:35:03,188
If you need anything,
just ask for Milo.
615
00:35:03,188 --> 00:35:05,842
Well, I'’ve never been
issued a blanket.
616
00:35:05,842 --> 00:35:07,017
Anything at all, now.
617
00:35:20,030 --> 00:35:21,728
Ahem.
618
00:35:21,728 --> 00:35:24,078
Yeah?
619
00:35:24,078 --> 00:35:27,081
I think the colonel
wants to see me.
620
00:35:27,081 --> 00:35:28,648
He does?
621
00:35:28,648 --> 00:35:29,910
I believe so.
622
00:35:29,910 --> 00:35:32,347
I'’m...Chaplain Tappman.
623
00:35:32,347 --> 00:35:34,567
You'’reChaplain Tappman?
624
00:35:34,567 --> 00:35:38,484
Sit down. I'’ll tell the colonel
you'’re here, Father.
625
00:35:38,484 --> 00:35:39,615
It'’s not...
626
00:35:41,487 --> 00:35:43,010
[ door closes ][ sighs ]
627
00:35:52,411 --> 00:35:55,022
You-- You'’d better get
some dry things.
628
00:35:55,022 --> 00:35:57,111
Oh, I will,
629
00:35:57,111 --> 00:35:59,200
as soon as the colonel'’s
through with me.
630
00:36:01,681 --> 00:36:03,987
They just picked me up
out of the sea.
631
00:36:03,987 --> 00:36:05,250
They did?
632
00:36:06,642 --> 00:36:08,862
I drifted for
almost three days.
633
00:36:08,862 --> 00:36:10,385
You should report
to the hospital.
634
00:36:10,385 --> 00:36:12,170
You could catch
pneumonia.
635
00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:14,781
Oh, no. Not me.
636
00:36:14,781 --> 00:36:16,391
This is my fourth time.
637
00:36:16,391 --> 00:36:17,958
How do you mean?
638
00:36:17,958 --> 00:36:19,742
I'’ve put down in
the Mediterranean once,
639
00:36:19,742 --> 00:36:21,309
once in the Adriatic,
640
00:36:21,309 --> 00:36:23,398
and I crash-landed
one plane,
641
00:36:23,398 --> 00:36:25,748
and I bailed out
once.
642
00:36:25,748 --> 00:36:27,837
You'’re very lucky.
643
00:36:27,837 --> 00:36:29,839
That'’s what
some folks say.
644
00:36:29,839 --> 00:36:31,276
Yossarian says
they'’re gonna start
645
00:36:31,276 --> 00:36:33,495
taking it out
of my salary.
646
00:36:33,495 --> 00:36:35,845
Y-Yossarian?
647
00:36:35,845 --> 00:36:37,151
Yes, he'’s
a friend of mine.
648
00:36:37,151 --> 00:36:38,413
Do you know him?
649
00:36:38,413 --> 00:36:40,154
Yes, I do. In fact--
650
00:36:40,154 --> 00:36:41,547
Captain Tappman?
651
00:36:41,547 --> 00:36:42,678
Yes.
652
00:36:45,290 --> 00:36:46,856
Perhaps you shouldn'’t
fly anymore.
653
00:36:46,856 --> 00:36:49,729
It'’s good practice.
654
00:36:49,729 --> 00:36:52,645
Tappman, the colonel
is a very busy man.
655
00:36:52,645 --> 00:36:54,212
Yes. Yes, of course.
656
00:37:02,307 --> 00:37:05,832
Chaplain, we don'’t see
much of you lately.
657
00:37:05,832 --> 00:37:08,400
Well, sir, I...
658
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:11,316
try to stay out of the way
as much as possible.
659
00:37:11,316 --> 00:37:13,840
I have a feeling I make
the men uncomfortable.
660
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:16,843
Nonsense.
I can'’t imagine any man
661
00:37:16,843 --> 00:37:19,193
not enjoying the benefits
of your presence,
662
00:37:19,193 --> 00:37:22,457
unless, of course,
they'’re atheists.
663
00:37:22,457 --> 00:37:25,417
I guess there'’s not much
chance of that, is there?
664
00:37:25,417 --> 00:37:26,679
I don'’t know, sir.
665
00:37:26,679 --> 00:37:27,941
What do you mean,
you don'’t know?
666
00:37:27,941 --> 00:37:29,508
Atheism is against
the law, right?
667
00:37:29,508 --> 00:37:30,987
No.
It isn'’t?
668
00:37:30,987 --> 00:37:32,946
Well, then,
it'’s un-American, isn'’t it?
669
00:37:32,946 --> 00:37:34,904
I'’m not sure, sir.
670
00:37:34,904 --> 00:37:37,255
Well, I am.
671
00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:39,344
If I find any lousy
atheists on this base,
672
00:37:39,344 --> 00:37:42,738
bet your ass they'’ll soon
start believing in something.
673
00:37:42,738 --> 00:37:45,828
Well, that'’s not why
I called you in, Chaplain.
674
00:37:45,828 --> 00:37:47,569
I want you
to look at this.
675
00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:51,834
Page 48.
676
00:37:56,883 --> 00:37:58,624
You don'’t have to read
the whole thing.
677
00:37:58,624 --> 00:38:00,669
You can get the point
from the photographs.
678
00:38:00,669 --> 00:38:04,282
There'’s a full-page picture
of a colonel in England
679
00:38:04,282 --> 00:38:07,502
whose chaplain conducts
prayers before every mission.
680
00:38:07,502 --> 00:38:10,723
I see no reason why
The Saturday Evening Post
681
00:38:10,723 --> 00:38:14,030
should not be interested
in the story of myoutfit.
682
00:38:14,030 --> 00:38:16,163
You think up some nice,
snappy prayers
683
00:38:16,163 --> 00:38:18,557
that'’ll send the officers out
feeling good.
684
00:38:18,557 --> 00:38:22,387
Can you do that? Hmm?
685
00:38:22,387 --> 00:38:23,953
I'’ll try.
686
00:38:23,953 --> 00:38:26,173
Well, good.
Let'’s get to it.
687
00:38:26,173 --> 00:38:27,827
Yes, sir.
688
00:38:35,095 --> 00:38:36,401
Is there something else?
689
00:38:36,401 --> 00:38:39,926
Sir, it may be
none of my business,
690
00:38:39,926 --> 00:38:44,713
but I think some of the men
are particularly upset
691
00:38:44,713 --> 00:38:47,325
about the fact
that you keep raising
692
00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:49,370
the number of missions
they have to fly.
693
00:38:52,199 --> 00:38:53,853
You'’re right, Chaplain.
694
00:38:53,853 --> 00:38:55,463
I am, sir?
695
00:38:55,463 --> 00:38:57,291
You'’re right that it'’s none
of your business.
696
00:38:57,291 --> 00:38:59,467
And it'’s none
of their business either.
697
00:38:59,467 --> 00:39:02,078
Their business
is to fly missions.
698
00:39:02,078 --> 00:39:05,473
Your business is to think
of some short, catchy prayers
699
00:39:05,473 --> 00:39:07,649
that'’ll get me into
The Saturday Evening Post.
700
00:39:07,649 --> 00:39:09,129
Now good afternoon,
Chaplain.
701
00:39:09,129 --> 00:39:10,348
Yes, sir.
702
00:39:13,655 --> 00:39:14,787
Excuse me.
703
00:39:15,918 --> 00:39:17,964
Excuse me,Padre.
704
00:39:23,709 --> 00:39:25,406
Chaplain says
the men are upset
705
00:39:25,406 --> 00:39:27,365
because I keep raising
the number of missions.
706
00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:28,801
Yossarian.
707
00:39:28,801 --> 00:39:30,498
What?
708
00:39:30,498 --> 00:39:32,457
It'’s that
Captain Yossarian.
709
00:39:32,457 --> 00:39:33,762
He'’s always bitching,
710
00:39:33,762 --> 00:39:35,024
always making trouble.
711
00:39:35,024 --> 00:39:36,199
What can we do?
712
00:39:37,853 --> 00:39:39,681
What would
General Dreedle do?
713
00:39:39,681 --> 00:39:41,901
He'’d crush him.
714
00:39:41,901 --> 00:39:44,294
Tear him apart.Smack him in the face.
715
00:39:44,294 --> 00:39:45,644
Jab him
in the kidneys.
716
00:39:45,644 --> 00:39:46,906
Kick him in the balls.
717
00:39:46,906 --> 00:39:49,082
[ yelps and groans ]
718
00:39:53,695 --> 00:39:56,742
Keep your head down
between your legs.
719
00:39:56,742 --> 00:40:00,180
Try to breathe
deeply and evenly.
720
00:40:00,180 --> 00:40:02,138
Ugh!Sorry, Captain.
721
00:40:02,138 --> 00:40:03,879
I know how that must feel.
722
00:40:03,879 --> 00:40:05,533
I don'’t think so.
723
00:40:05,533 --> 00:40:09,450
Try not to talk.
Think about nice things.
724
00:40:09,450 --> 00:40:11,931
Think how lovely
it is here.
725
00:40:11,931 --> 00:40:13,193
[ sighs ]
726
00:40:13,193 --> 00:40:14,629
How lovely
everything could be
727
00:40:14,629 --> 00:40:17,763
if someone didn'’t
always try to spoil it.
728
00:40:17,763 --> 00:40:20,418
Why do you always
try to spoil it?
729
00:40:20,418 --> 00:40:22,768
Because I love you.
730
00:40:22,768 --> 00:40:25,248
Well, I know that,
Captain, I know that.
731
00:40:25,248 --> 00:40:26,946
But this is wartime.
732
00:40:26,946 --> 00:40:28,948
We'’ve got a job
to do, soldier.
733
00:40:28,948 --> 00:40:31,037
We just can'’t give
in to ourselves.
734
00:40:31,037 --> 00:40:32,778
Think how it is
for me,
735
00:40:32,778 --> 00:40:34,910
one of a handful
of women
736
00:40:34,910 --> 00:40:37,957
on an island with
thousands of men.
737
00:40:37,957 --> 00:40:40,002
Men who are giving up
their lives
738
00:40:40,002 --> 00:40:41,874
for our country,
for me.
739
00:40:41,874 --> 00:40:44,398
Think of that--
740
00:40:44,398 --> 00:40:46,052
Captain Yossarian!
741
00:40:46,052 --> 00:40:48,141
What are you doing?
742
00:40:48,141 --> 00:40:50,448
Listen.
I'’m gonna die.
743
00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:54,016
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
744
00:40:54,016 --> 00:40:55,714
Aah!
745
00:40:55,714 --> 00:40:57,237
Uh-ho-ho, God!
746
00:40:57,237 --> 00:40:58,847
Oh!
747
00:40:58,847 --> 00:41:00,762
[ whispers ]
What is it?
748
00:41:00,762 --> 00:41:03,635
What'’s the matter?
749
00:41:03,635 --> 00:41:05,811
Ooh!
750
00:41:05,811 --> 00:41:08,248
The town'’s name
is Ferrara,
751
00:41:08,248 --> 00:41:10,163
and, uh, it'’s
right around here.
752
00:41:10,163 --> 00:41:13,383
It'’s a very pretty town,
on the coast.
753
00:41:13,383 --> 00:41:15,690
[ groaning and snorting ]
754
00:41:15,690 --> 00:41:17,083
You all right?
755
00:41:17,083 --> 00:41:18,650
Yossarian.It'’s her, it'’s her.
756
00:41:18,650 --> 00:41:22,349
Who?
Dreedle'’s WAC.
757
00:41:22,349 --> 00:41:24,786
If you do your job well,
758
00:41:24,786 --> 00:41:27,659
there won'’t be much
left of it, anyway.
759
00:41:27,659 --> 00:41:30,662
Intelligence indicates
you shouldn'’t
760
00:41:30,662 --> 00:41:32,620
have to worry about flak
and that kind of stuff.
761
00:41:32,620 --> 00:41:35,101
We were hoping
for new recon photos
762
00:41:35,101 --> 00:41:37,016
on enemy strength
in that area.
763
00:41:37,016 --> 00:41:38,844
Unfortunately,
they haven'’t arrived,
764
00:41:38,844 --> 00:41:41,847
but as I always say,
no news is good news.
765
00:41:41,847 --> 00:41:44,589
A lot of you may
ask yourselves,
766
00:41:44,589 --> 00:41:46,416
"How come we'’re out
to destroy a town
767
00:41:46,416 --> 00:41:48,984
"that has no industry,
no enemy bases,
768
00:41:48,984 --> 00:41:52,074
no strategic value to anyone?"
769
00:41:53,685 --> 00:41:55,121
Ten-hut!
770
00:42:04,739 --> 00:42:08,264
As you were.
Good morning, gentlemen.
771
00:42:08,264 --> 00:42:10,484
We'’re honored to have
General Dreedle
772
00:42:10,484 --> 00:42:12,704
sitting in with us
on today'’s briefing.
773
00:42:12,704 --> 00:42:15,054
I don'’t want the men to
pay any attention to me.
774
00:42:15,054 --> 00:42:16,751
Just carry on as usual.
775
00:42:16,751 --> 00:42:18,448
Don'’t pay any
attention to Dad--
776
00:42:18,448 --> 00:42:20,233
Will you clam up?
777
00:42:21,887 --> 00:42:24,498
And don'’t call me Dad.
778
00:42:24,498 --> 00:42:25,934
Go right ahead with
your briefing, Major.
779
00:42:25,934 --> 00:42:29,634
Yes. Well...
thank you, sir.
780
00:42:31,070 --> 00:42:33,333
I was-- I was just
telling the men here--
781
00:42:33,333 --> 00:42:35,857
Don'’t tell me.
Tell them.
782
00:42:35,857 --> 00:42:38,120
Tell the men, Danby.
783
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:40,514
Yes.
784
00:42:40,514 --> 00:42:42,734
I was just
explaining why
785
00:42:42,734 --> 00:42:44,170
we'’re going
to obliterate--
786
00:42:44,170 --> 00:42:45,824
What about a chair?
787
00:42:45,824 --> 00:42:47,695
Sir?
788
00:42:47,695 --> 00:42:50,829
A chair.
789
00:42:50,829 --> 00:42:52,352
Beg your pardon, General?
790
00:42:52,352 --> 00:42:53,571
A chair!
791
00:42:55,094 --> 00:42:56,486
Doesn'’t anyone,
for God'’s sake,
792
00:42:56,486 --> 00:42:57,618
know what a chair is?
793
00:43:01,361 --> 00:43:03,885
Can'’t you see
a lady is standing?
794
00:43:03,885 --> 00:43:05,931
A chair for Dad'’s girlfr--
For the lady!
795
00:43:05,931 --> 00:43:07,323
MAN:
Get a chair!
796
00:43:22,382 --> 00:43:24,079
Carry on.
797
00:43:24,079 --> 00:43:25,907
What we'’re going
to do now, men,
798
00:43:25,907 --> 00:43:28,083
is synchronize
our watches.
799
00:43:28,083 --> 00:43:31,043
Now, we'’ve all
done this before,
800
00:43:31,043 --> 00:43:33,698
so I don'’t think
we'’ll have any problem.
801
00:43:33,698 --> 00:43:37,658
If everyone will look
down at his wristwatch,
802
00:43:37,658 --> 00:43:40,443
we can begin.
803
00:43:40,443 --> 00:43:43,272
It is now 1115 hours,
804
00:43:43,272 --> 00:43:47,276
minus 50, 49,
805
00:43:47,276 --> 00:43:49,975
48, 47...[ groans ]
806
00:43:49,975 --> 00:43:52,368
...46, 45,
807
00:43:52,368 --> 00:43:54,762
44, 43...
808
00:43:54,762 --> 00:43:57,199
Mmm...
Yossarian.
809
00:43:57,199 --> 00:43:58,984
...40,
810
00:43:58,984 --> 00:44:00,899
39, 38,
811
00:44:00,899 --> 00:44:02,640
37...[ whimpers and giggles ]
812
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:05,207
...36, 35,
813
00:44:05,207 --> 00:44:07,775
34, 33...
814
00:44:07,775 --> 00:44:09,298
[ groans ]...32,
815
00:44:09,298 --> 00:44:10,952
31...[ laughs ]
816
00:44:13,607 --> 00:44:15,653
...29, 28...
817
00:44:15,653 --> 00:44:17,132
[ whimpers ]...27,
818
00:44:17,132 --> 00:44:20,135
26, 25,
819
00:44:20,135 --> 00:44:23,182
24...Somebody'’s gonna get it.
820
00:44:23,182 --> 00:44:25,880
...22, 21,
821
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:27,534
20...
822
00:44:27,534 --> 00:44:29,449
[ groans ]...19, 18...
823
00:44:29,449 --> 00:44:31,581
[ all groaning loudly ]
824
00:44:31,581 --> 00:44:34,454
...16, 15, 14,
825
00:44:34,454 --> 00:44:36,412
13, 12...
826
00:44:36,412 --> 00:44:38,588
All right, at ease.
827
00:44:38,588 --> 00:44:40,329
...10, 9...
828
00:44:40,329 --> 00:44:43,202
There'’ll be no more moaning
in this outfit.
829
00:44:43,202 --> 00:44:48,163
The next man who moans
will be very sorry.
830
00:44:48,163 --> 00:44:49,599
...1.
831
00:44:51,514 --> 00:44:52,690
Oh.
832
00:44:56,650 --> 00:44:57,825
Who is this man?
833
00:44:59,392 --> 00:45:00,654
Major Danby, sir.
834
00:45:00,654 --> 00:45:02,525
Danby.
D-A-N-B-Y.
835
00:45:02,525 --> 00:45:03,875
Take him out
and shoot him.
836
00:45:03,875 --> 00:45:05,180
Sir?
837
00:45:05,180 --> 00:45:06,529
I said take him out
and shoot him.
838
00:45:06,529 --> 00:45:07,835
Can'’t you hear?Yes, sir.
839
00:45:07,835 --> 00:45:10,185
Take Major Danby out
and shoot him.
840
00:45:10,185 --> 00:45:12,971
I think you'’d better
wait a minute, Dad.
841
00:45:12,971 --> 00:45:14,233
What?
842
00:45:14,233 --> 00:45:16,104
I don'’t think
you can shoot him.
843
00:45:16,104 --> 00:45:17,627
Why the hell
can'’t I?
844
00:45:17,627 --> 00:45:19,934
[ whispering ]
Why not?
845
00:45:19,934 --> 00:45:22,023
You mean I can'’t shoot
whoever I want to?
846
00:45:23,546 --> 00:45:25,766
Is that a fact?I'’m afraid it is, Dad.
847
00:45:25,766 --> 00:45:28,769
Guess you think you'’re
pretty smart, don'’t you?
848
00:45:28,769 --> 00:45:31,554
Just because my half-wit
daughter married you
849
00:45:31,554 --> 00:45:33,992
for God knows whatever
bizarre reason.
850
00:45:33,992 --> 00:45:35,863
Oh, no, Dad,
it'’s just--
851
00:45:35,863 --> 00:45:37,299
All right.
852
00:45:37,299 --> 00:45:38,736
Let the insubordinate
son of a bitch go,
853
00:45:38,736 --> 00:45:39,867
but get him out of here.
854
00:45:42,174 --> 00:45:43,741
Better do something.
855
00:45:43,741 --> 00:45:45,438
All right, men,
I think we...
856
00:45:45,438 --> 00:45:47,309
owe a vote of thanks
857
00:45:47,309 --> 00:45:49,137
to General Dreedle
for visiting with us today
858
00:45:49,137 --> 00:45:51,313
and cheering us all up.
859
00:45:51,313 --> 00:45:54,752
In his honor, I'’d like
to make an announcement
860
00:45:54,752 --> 00:45:56,275
which may be of interest.Uh-oh.
861
00:45:56,275 --> 00:45:58,407
I know you men are all
anxious to do your part...
862
00:45:58,407 --> 00:46:00,409
Here it comes.
863
00:46:00,409 --> 00:46:04,022
As of now, the number
of missions required
864
00:46:04,022 --> 00:46:06,415
before you are eligible
for rotation
865
00:46:06,415 --> 00:46:08,374
is raised to 75.
866
00:46:08,374 --> 00:46:11,551
I know we'’ll all
do our best.
867
00:46:11,551 --> 00:46:12,726
Ten-hut!
868
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:20,647
What are you smiling at,
you silly bastard?
869
00:46:20,647 --> 00:46:22,562
Now I won'’t
have to go home.
870
00:46:22,562 --> 00:46:24,390
You what?
871
00:46:24,390 --> 00:46:26,522
I can stay here.
I don'’t have to leave her.
872
00:46:26,522 --> 00:46:27,828
What are you saying?
873
00:46:27,828 --> 00:46:30,309
I love her.
874
00:46:30,309 --> 00:46:32,615
[ babbling ]
I do!
875
00:46:32,615 --> 00:46:34,443
I really do.
876
00:46:34,443 --> 00:46:36,489
I never felt anything
like this before,
877
00:46:36,489 --> 00:46:37,751
not even for my mom.
878
00:46:37,751 --> 00:46:39,013
Men don'’t
fall in love
879
00:46:39,013 --> 00:46:40,406
with girls
like that.
880
00:46:40,406 --> 00:46:42,277
Men always fall in love
with girls like that.
881
00:46:42,277 --> 00:46:45,106
Ah, one or
the other.
882
00:46:45,106 --> 00:46:46,804
I'’m taking her back
to Long Island with me.
883
00:46:48,109 --> 00:46:49,937
Look, you don'’t
really love her.
884
00:46:49,937 --> 00:46:51,373
You think
you love her.
885
00:46:51,373 --> 00:46:52,853
How can you tell
the difference?
886
00:46:52,853 --> 00:46:54,115
Between what?
887
00:46:54,115 --> 00:46:55,987
Between loving her
and thinking it?
888
00:46:55,987 --> 00:46:57,684
You have to be objective.
889
00:46:57,684 --> 00:46:59,164
Who'’s objective?
890
00:46:59,164 --> 00:47:00,905
I am.
Oh. How come?
891
00:47:00,905 --> 00:47:02,297
Because I'’m not
in love with her.
892
00:47:02,297 --> 00:47:03,516
You mean you think
you'’re not.
893
00:47:03,516 --> 00:47:04,822
That'’s right.
894
00:47:04,822 --> 00:47:07,085
Then how can you
tell the difference?
895
00:47:07,085 --> 00:47:09,304
Wait a second.
[ laughs ]
896
00:47:09,304 --> 00:47:11,132
Hey, look.
897
00:47:11,132 --> 00:47:13,613
Whoo! Look what
Aarfy'’s got.
898
00:47:13,613 --> 00:47:15,745
Say goodbye,
McWatt.
899
00:47:15,745 --> 00:47:17,443
Come on, McWatt.
900
00:47:17,443 --> 00:47:19,880
[ yelling in Italian ]
901
00:47:21,926 --> 00:47:23,318
Did you see
what he did?
902
00:47:23,318 --> 00:47:25,364
Make him tell you
what he did.
903
00:47:25,364 --> 00:47:26,844
[ laughs ]
904
00:47:28,671 --> 00:47:29,934
What'’d you do, Aarfy?
905
00:47:29,934 --> 00:47:32,937
Nothing. Nice girl.
Very nice girl.
906
00:47:32,937 --> 00:47:35,243
She wanted us
to go home with her.
907
00:47:35,243 --> 00:47:37,028
She said she would
show us a good time.
908
00:47:37,028 --> 00:47:39,073
We had a good time.
We saw the Coliseum
909
00:47:39,073 --> 00:47:41,119
and lots of other sights.
910
00:47:41,119 --> 00:47:42,947
Why didn'’t you
take her home?
911
00:47:42,947 --> 00:47:45,732
Come on, I wasn'’t going to take
advantage of such a sweet kid.
912
00:47:45,732 --> 00:47:46,994
Old Aarfy'’s got
some principles.
913
00:47:46,994 --> 00:47:48,996
You'’ve got
a diseased mind.
914
00:47:48,996 --> 00:47:51,216
All she wanted to do was jump
in the sack with somebody.
915
00:47:51,216 --> 00:47:52,478
What'’s the matter
with you?
916
00:47:52,478 --> 00:47:53,740
She'’s mixed up,
that'’s all.
917
00:47:53,740 --> 00:47:55,133
I gave her a good
talking to.
918
00:47:55,133 --> 00:47:57,004
He did!
[ laughs ]
919
00:47:57,004 --> 00:47:58,701
I straightened her out
and sent her home.
920
00:47:58,701 --> 00:48:00,268
He did! He did!
921
00:48:00,268 --> 00:48:02,531
You crazy bastard!You'’re beneath contempt.
922
00:48:02,531 --> 00:48:04,577
He'’s got a dirty mind,
right, Yossarian?
923
00:48:04,577 --> 00:48:06,100
The dirtiest.Well, I don'’t see it that way.
924
00:48:06,100 --> 00:48:08,146
Guys, they want us
to go home with them.
925
00:48:08,146 --> 00:48:09,408
For how much?
926
00:48:09,408 --> 00:48:11,236
$30!Who'’s the runt?
927
00:48:11,236 --> 00:48:13,542
Nately'’s whore'’s
kid sister.
928
00:48:13,542 --> 00:48:15,414
Come on. I want to spend
some time with my girl.
929
00:48:15,414 --> 00:48:17,155
I'’ll pay for all of us.
930
00:48:17,155 --> 00:48:19,853
Why not give her $30
and send the others away?
931
00:48:19,853 --> 00:48:22,029
Then she'’ll be
angry with me
932
00:48:22,029 --> 00:48:23,291
for making her
work for her money.
933
00:48:23,291 --> 00:48:24,902
She says if I
really loved her,
934
00:48:24,902 --> 00:48:26,468
I'’d send her away
and sleep with the others.
935
00:48:26,468 --> 00:48:28,296
I swear, you fellas.
936
00:48:29,602 --> 00:48:31,560
Come on, Yossarian,
let'’s go.
937
00:48:33,432 --> 00:48:35,390
Go on, you go.
938
00:48:35,390 --> 00:48:37,740
What'’s wrong?
939
00:48:37,740 --> 00:48:39,568
What isn'’t wrong?
940
00:48:39,568 --> 00:48:41,657
Two more missions,
and we'’re on our way home.
941
00:48:41,657 --> 00:48:44,225
Are you kidding?
You know what'’s gonna happen.
942
00:48:44,225 --> 00:48:46,706
No. A whole bunch
of replacement pilots
943
00:48:46,706 --> 00:48:48,142
came into Naples
yesterday.
944
00:48:48,142 --> 00:48:50,014
Who says?
Milo says.
945
00:48:50,014 --> 00:48:52,320
He just came from there with
20 truckloads of coconuts.
946
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:55,367
We'’ll never see those
replacements or those coconuts.
947
00:48:55,367 --> 00:48:58,848
Ah, Cathcart wouldn'’t dare raise
the number of missions again.
948
00:48:58,848 --> 00:49:00,807
Who'’s gonna stop him?
949
00:49:00,807 --> 00:49:01,982
[ bicycle bell dings ]
950
00:49:04,158 --> 00:49:05,290
Somebody will.
951
00:49:11,209 --> 00:49:12,950
Come on.
952
00:49:16,823 --> 00:49:18,129
Nately!
953
00:49:18,129 --> 00:49:19,957
Hey, Nately,
wait for me!
954
00:49:21,523 --> 00:49:22,829
Yo!
955
00:51:21,426 --> 00:51:23,080
All right.
956
00:51:24,516 --> 00:51:26,083
I want to get this clear.
957
00:51:26,083 --> 00:51:28,128
As I understand it,
958
00:51:28,128 --> 00:51:29,912
we'’re presenting
these men with medals
959
00:51:29,912 --> 00:51:32,045
for doing a lousy job,
is that right?
960
00:51:32,045 --> 00:51:34,091
That'’s not quite
the situation, Dad.
961
00:51:34,091 --> 00:51:36,397
When I want an answer
from you, I'’ll look at you,
962
00:51:36,397 --> 00:51:37,703
which will be as seldom
as possible.
963
00:51:37,703 --> 00:51:39,400
General, I think
I can explain it.
964
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:40,836
You damn well better.
965
00:51:40,836 --> 00:51:43,839
Yesterday'’s mission
was to bomb Ferrara.
966
00:51:43,839 --> 00:51:45,928
Ferrara?
967
00:51:45,928 --> 00:51:47,321
Why Ferrara?
968
00:51:47,321 --> 00:51:49,932
What do you mean,
why Ferrara?
969
00:51:49,932 --> 00:51:51,543
You know what
Ferrara is?
970
00:51:51,543 --> 00:51:54,241
It'’s a town on a hill.
971
00:51:54,241 --> 00:51:55,808
YOSSARIAN:
You know what'’s in that town?
972
00:51:55,808 --> 00:51:57,940
Five minutes to target.
973
00:51:57,940 --> 00:51:59,594
What'’s in it? Nothing.
974
00:51:59,594 --> 00:52:01,379
What? Nothing'’s in it.
975
00:52:01,379 --> 00:52:04,121
No Germans,
no munitions,
976
00:52:04,121 --> 00:52:07,994
no railroad crossing,
no harbor, nothing.
977
00:52:07,994 --> 00:52:09,778
Nothing at all?
978
00:52:09,778 --> 00:52:13,434
No, except people,
Italian people.
979
00:52:13,434 --> 00:52:15,828
And a monastery.
980
00:52:17,873 --> 00:52:20,528
Yossarian, maybe it'’s some kind of strategy thing.
981
00:52:22,226 --> 00:52:23,923
What the hell
are we doing?
982
00:52:23,923 --> 00:52:26,752
Yossarian, it'’s not our business to ask.
983
00:52:26,752 --> 00:52:28,449
Whose business is it?
984
00:52:28,449 --> 00:52:29,711
Four minutes
to target.
985
00:52:29,711 --> 00:52:31,844
Take us in, Yossarian.
986
00:52:31,844 --> 00:52:34,063
Get ready to duck.
987
00:52:34,063 --> 00:52:35,587
What are you doing? We'’re not there yet.
988
00:52:35,587 --> 00:52:37,110
Get away from there, Aardvark.
989
00:52:37,110 --> 00:52:38,851
Yossarian, you'’ll screw up the mission.
990
00:52:38,851 --> 00:52:40,157
What'’s going on, Yossarian?
991
00:52:40,157 --> 00:52:41,419
Get ready to turn!
992
00:52:41,419 --> 00:52:42,855
Yossarian, what are you doing?
993
00:52:42,855 --> 00:52:44,509
Cut it out, Yossarian!
994
00:52:44,509 --> 00:52:45,945
Hey! Hey!
995
00:52:45,945 --> 00:52:47,120
Drop!
996
00:52:57,043 --> 00:52:59,263
A direct hit...
997
00:52:59,263 --> 00:53:00,612
on the ocean?
998
00:53:00,612 --> 00:53:03,571
Yes, sir.
A marvelous bomb pattern.
999
00:53:03,571 --> 00:53:06,139
We have aerial photographs,
if you'’d like to see them.
1000
00:53:06,139 --> 00:53:08,446
Are you telling me we'’re
decorating a bunch of men
1001
00:53:08,446 --> 00:53:11,188
who dropped 20 tons
of very expensive bombs
1002
00:53:11,188 --> 00:53:13,190
on the Mediterranean?
1003
00:53:13,190 --> 00:53:16,584
Well, sir, if you
consider the alternative...
1004
00:53:16,584 --> 00:53:18,760
The alternative is that we take
the whole crew of numbskulls out
1005
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:19,892
and shoot them.
1006
00:53:21,241 --> 00:53:22,503
Might be a problem
there, sir.
1007
00:53:22,503 --> 00:53:25,637
All right. I know.
1008
00:53:25,637 --> 00:53:27,726
If we can'’t shoot
the sons of bitches,
1009
00:53:27,726 --> 00:53:29,945
we can court-martial them,
1010
00:53:29,945 --> 00:53:32,600
see they rot
in some stockade.
1011
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:35,516
Well, sir, we felt
that a court-martial
1012
00:53:35,516 --> 00:53:38,127
might get unavoidable
publicity.
1013
00:53:38,127 --> 00:53:39,999
If it got around we used
one of our missions
1014
00:53:39,999 --> 00:53:42,480
to bomb the ocean...
1015
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:44,221
You don'’t have to say
anything more, Colonel.
1016
00:53:47,615 --> 00:53:48,921
Ten-hut!
1017
00:54:04,458 --> 00:54:06,373
For distinguished duty
1018
00:54:06,373 --> 00:54:08,680
in the face
of overwhelming...
1019
00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:09,898
something...
1020
00:54:09,898 --> 00:54:11,378
Odds.Odds...
1021
00:54:11,378 --> 00:54:12,814
this air medal
is awarded
1022
00:54:12,814 --> 00:54:15,469
to Captain J.S....
1023
00:54:15,469 --> 00:54:16,992
McWatt.McWatt.
1024
00:54:22,650 --> 00:54:24,261
Come on, come on.
1025
00:54:29,483 --> 00:54:31,964
McWatt, what are you
waiting for, a kiss?
1026
00:54:31,964 --> 00:54:33,574
Get back in there.
1027
00:54:33,574 --> 00:54:35,663
And on the double!
1028
00:54:35,663 --> 00:54:38,449
For meritorious
action
1029
00:54:38,449 --> 00:54:41,843
in the face of
concentrated enemy fire,
1030
00:54:41,843 --> 00:54:43,628
Captain...
1031
00:54:43,628 --> 00:54:44,890
What'’s this?
1032
00:54:44,890 --> 00:54:46,152
Come on, Dumbo.
1033
00:54:46,152 --> 00:54:48,110
Yossarian, sir....Yossarian!
1034
00:55:02,211 --> 00:55:05,127
Unless I miss my guess,
Captain...
1035
00:55:06,607 --> 00:55:08,609
you'’re out of uniform.
1036
00:55:08,609 --> 00:55:09,958
[ snickering ]
1037
00:55:11,525 --> 00:55:14,093
What are you looking at?
1038
00:55:14,093 --> 00:55:17,444
Get back in the car,
you smirking slut.
1039
00:55:17,444 --> 00:55:19,272
[ woman soldier giggling ]
1040
00:55:24,669 --> 00:55:27,628
Why aren'’t you wearing
clothes, Captain?
1041
00:55:27,628 --> 00:55:29,238
I don'’t want to.
1042
00:55:29,238 --> 00:55:30,501
What do you mean,
you don'’t want to?
1043
00:55:30,501 --> 00:55:33,330
Why the hell
don'’t you?
1044
00:55:33,330 --> 00:55:35,810
I don'’t know.
I just don'’t want to.
1045
00:55:35,810 --> 00:55:37,899
Why isn'’t he
wearing clothes?
1046
00:55:37,899 --> 00:55:39,640
He'’s talking
to you.
1047
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:41,425
Why isn'’t he wearing
clothes, Major?
1048
00:55:41,425 --> 00:55:44,297
Why isn'’t he wearing
clothes, sergeant?
1049
00:55:44,297 --> 00:55:46,168
A man was killed in his plane
over Avignon last week
1050
00:55:46,168 --> 00:55:47,474
and bled
all over him.
1051
00:55:47,474 --> 00:55:48,736
His clothes
haven'’t come back
1052
00:55:48,736 --> 00:55:50,042
from the laundry yet.
1053
00:55:50,042 --> 00:55:51,609
GENERAL:
Where are his other uniforms?
1054
00:55:51,609 --> 00:55:53,045
SERGEANT:
They'’re in the laundry too, sir.
1055
00:55:53,045 --> 00:55:55,221
Where'’s his underwear?
1056
00:55:55,221 --> 00:55:57,441
In the laundry, sir.
1057
00:55:57,441 --> 00:56:00,313
That sounds like
a lot of crap to me.
1058
00:56:00,313 --> 00:56:02,271
It is a lot of crap, sir.
1059
00:56:02,271 --> 00:56:05,013
Sir, this man will
be punished severely.
1060
00:56:05,013 --> 00:56:07,973
What the hell
do I care?
1061
00:56:07,973 --> 00:56:10,628
If he wants to
receive a medal
1062
00:56:10,628 --> 00:56:11,933
without any clothes on,
1063
00:56:11,933 --> 00:56:13,370
what the hell business
is it of yours?
1064
00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:14,501
My sentiments
exactly, sir.
1065
00:56:16,198 --> 00:56:18,244
GENERAL:
Here'’s your medal, Captain.
1066
00:56:19,854 --> 00:56:23,989
You'’re a very weird person,
Yossarian.
1067
00:56:23,989 --> 00:56:25,469
Thank you, sir.
1068
00:56:30,169 --> 00:56:31,953
You are giving me this?
1069
00:56:31,953 --> 00:56:33,738
Yes.
Perché?
1070
00:56:33,738 --> 00:56:35,304
Because you'’re
very beautiful
1071
00:56:35,304 --> 00:56:37,263
and because
your name is Luciana.
1072
00:56:37,263 --> 00:56:38,786
That was
my mother'’s name.
1073
00:56:38,786 --> 00:56:41,093
But my real name
is Elinora Rosanna.
1074
00:56:41,093 --> 00:56:42,877
I only call myself
Luciana.
1075
00:56:42,877 --> 00:56:46,098
Hey! My mother only
called herself Luciana.
1076
00:56:46,098 --> 00:56:48,535
Her real name was
Elinora Rosanna.
1077
00:56:48,535 --> 00:56:50,624
I don'’t believe you.
1078
00:56:50,624 --> 00:56:52,234
I don'’t blame you.
1079
00:56:54,933 --> 00:56:56,717
What you
get this for?
1080
00:56:56,717 --> 00:56:59,067
Will you believe me
if I tell you the truth?
1081
00:56:59,067 --> 00:57:01,330
Yes.
Okay.
1082
00:57:01,330 --> 00:57:04,464
I was awarded that particular
medal for killing fish.
1083
00:57:04,464 --> 00:57:07,859
Oh-ho. You have
killed many fish?
1084
00:57:07,859 --> 00:57:09,730
Oh, yes. I am one
of the biggest--
1085
00:57:09,730 --> 00:57:11,776
I am perhaps--
In fact,
1086
00:57:11,776 --> 00:57:13,560
I am the most renowned
killer of fish
1087
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:16,128
in the whole United States
Army Air Force.
1088
00:57:16,128 --> 00:57:20,175
Okay. I'’ll dance
with you,
1089
00:57:20,175 --> 00:57:22,656
but I won'’t let you
sleep with me.
1090
00:57:22,656 --> 00:57:24,528
Who asked you?
1091
00:57:24,528 --> 00:57:25,920
You don'’t want
to sleep with me?
1092
00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:27,356
I don'’t want
to dance with you.
1093
00:57:27,356 --> 00:57:29,097
You'’re crazy.Mm-hmm. You think so?
1094
00:57:29,097 --> 00:57:31,448
[ both laugh ]
1095
00:57:34,189 --> 00:57:36,409
Watch where you put
your hands, G.I.
1096
00:57:36,409 --> 00:57:38,498
My name is Yossarian.
1097
00:57:38,498 --> 00:57:40,805
Watch where you put
your hands, Yossarian.
1098
00:58:47,567 --> 00:58:49,395
[ wind gusting ]
1099
00:59:08,806 --> 00:59:10,329
It'’s, uh...
1100
00:59:11,896 --> 00:59:14,463
What'’s his name?
The new gunner?
1101
00:59:14,463 --> 00:59:15,726
PILOT:
Snowden.
1102
00:59:15,726 --> 00:59:16,857
Yeah.
1103
00:59:20,034 --> 00:59:21,688
Snowden.
1104
00:59:21,688 --> 00:59:23,951
I'’m cold.
1105
00:59:25,387 --> 00:59:28,477
Okay. You'’re
going to be okay.
1106
00:59:28,477 --> 00:59:31,306
Cold. I'’m cold.
1107
00:59:47,279 --> 00:59:48,541
There.
1108
00:59:48,541 --> 00:59:50,891
It'’s starting to hurt me.
1109
00:59:50,891 --> 00:59:52,371
Okay. Hang on.
1110
00:59:52,371 --> 00:59:54,068
I'’ll get you
some morphine.
1111
01:00:21,487 --> 01:00:23,837
Milo!
1112
01:00:23,837 --> 01:00:25,752
You prick!
1113
01:00:25,752 --> 01:00:27,711
Hi. What'’s up?
1114
01:00:27,711 --> 01:00:30,583
Hey, it'’s good
to see you.
1115
01:00:30,583 --> 01:00:31,976
When'’d you get out
of the hospital?
1116
01:00:31,976 --> 01:00:33,281
Never mind
about the hospital.
1117
01:00:33,281 --> 01:00:34,718
We got a couple things
to talk over.
1118
01:00:34,718 --> 01:00:36,328
How are you feeling?
How'’s the leg?
1119
01:00:36,328 --> 01:00:38,069
I'’m sorry I didn'’t
get over to visit you,
1120
01:00:38,069 --> 01:00:39,505
but I'’ve been
in Naples all week.
1121
01:00:39,505 --> 01:00:41,550
Milo! I want to know
about that parachute.
1122
01:00:41,550 --> 01:00:43,074
What parachute?My parachute!
1123
01:00:43,074 --> 01:00:44,553
The one I'’m supposed to use
1124
01:00:44,553 --> 01:00:45,816
if I'’ve got to jump
out of the plane.
1125
01:00:45,816 --> 01:00:47,078
Oh, that parachute.
1126
01:00:47,078 --> 01:00:48,601
I think you have to
remember, Yossarian,
1127
01:00:48,601 --> 01:00:51,517
that your parachute was just
1 of 50 or 60 parachutes
1128
01:00:51,517 --> 01:00:53,519
taken over by the Syndicate.
1129
01:00:53,519 --> 01:00:54,912
I don'’t give a damn
about the Syndicate.
1130
01:00:54,912 --> 01:00:56,304
Here, have a tomato.
1131
01:00:56,304 --> 01:00:58,045
I don'’t want one of your
goddamn tomatoes.
1132
01:00:58,045 --> 01:01:00,744
They'’re the Syndicate'’s
tomatoes, our tomatoes,
1133
01:01:00,744 --> 01:01:02,746
just as these
are our statues.
1134
01:01:02,746 --> 01:01:05,574
In fact, that'’s where
your parachute went,
1135
01:01:05,574 --> 01:01:07,402
all the parachutes.
1136
01:01:07,402 --> 01:01:09,622
You traded my parachute
for a bunch of statues?
1137
01:01:09,622 --> 01:01:11,450
Well, no. Point of fact,
1138
01:01:11,450 --> 01:01:13,713
I traded our diesel engines
for the statues.
1139
01:01:13,713 --> 01:01:15,149
I don'’t have
any diesel engines.
1140
01:01:15,149 --> 01:01:16,977
I didn'’t say your.
I said our.
1141
01:01:16,977 --> 01:01:18,892
I got the diesel engine
for two planeloads of lumber
1142
01:01:18,892 --> 01:01:21,460
and 100 pairs of shoes
and the parachutes.
1143
01:01:21,460 --> 01:01:24,332
I don'’t think the men in this
squadron will be very happy
1144
01:01:24,332 --> 01:01:25,943
when they find out
what you'’ve been doing.
1145
01:01:25,943 --> 01:01:28,119
Well, for heaven'’s sake,
don'’t they understand?
1146
01:01:28,119 --> 01:01:30,338
We'’re gonna come out
of this war rich.
1147
01:01:30,338 --> 01:01:31,862
You'’re gonna
come out rich!
1148
01:01:31,862 --> 01:01:33,298
We'’re gonna come out dead!
1149
01:01:35,604 --> 01:01:36,997
What does he want?
1150
01:01:36,997 --> 01:01:38,825
Who?
1151
01:01:38,825 --> 01:01:40,392
Hungry Joe.
1152
01:01:43,134 --> 01:01:45,049
What is the matter?
1153
01:01:45,049 --> 01:01:46,877
I got a feeling.
1154
01:01:49,488 --> 01:01:50,881
I think it is.
1155
01:01:50,881 --> 01:01:52,665
What?
Come on.
1156
01:01:52,665 --> 01:01:54,406
What is it?I don'’t know,
1157
01:01:54,406 --> 01:01:55,973
but if it'’s what
I think it is...
1158
01:02:02,153 --> 01:02:04,851
It'’s just McWatt.I know it'’s just McWatt.
1159
01:02:04,851 --> 01:02:06,810
That bastard'’s been doing
that to me for months.
1160
01:02:06,810 --> 01:02:08,986
He'’s jealous of her.Because she likes you better?
1161
01:02:08,986 --> 01:02:10,814
No, she likes him better.
1162
01:02:10,814 --> 01:02:12,119
Then why doesn'’t she
go out with him?
1163
01:02:12,119 --> 01:02:14,165
She can'’t stand him!
1164
01:02:14,165 --> 01:02:16,167
Good old McWatt!
1165
01:02:16,167 --> 01:02:17,429
What'’s so good about him?
1166
01:02:17,429 --> 01:02:19,213
He'’s carrying me
on his manifest.
1167
01:02:19,213 --> 01:02:20,693
Every time he goes up,
1168
01:02:20,693 --> 01:02:22,303
he files my name
as a passenger.
1169
01:02:22,303 --> 01:02:24,349
That way I can get
my flight pay
1170
01:02:24,349 --> 01:02:25,959
without having to do
anything stupid
1171
01:02:25,959 --> 01:02:27,352
like going up in a plane.
1172
01:02:27,352 --> 01:02:29,528
[ laughs ]
Look!
1173
01:02:29,528 --> 01:02:31,704
What is he saying?
1174
01:02:33,314 --> 01:02:34,446
He'’s coming back!
1175
01:02:55,815 --> 01:02:57,512
Who was it?
1176
01:02:57,512 --> 01:02:59,036
Hungry Joe.
1177
01:03:09,220 --> 01:03:11,918
I'’ll have to requisition a new
photographer from group.
1178
01:03:14,007 --> 01:03:18,098
Is there anything I can do?
1179
01:03:19,447 --> 01:03:21,014
McWatt'’s still up there.
1180
01:03:23,582 --> 01:03:25,802
Doc Daneeka'’s
up there too.
1181
01:03:25,802 --> 01:03:27,804
I'’m right here.
1182
01:03:29,980 --> 01:03:31,851
Come on down,
McWatt.
1183
01:03:31,851 --> 01:03:33,418
Probably afraid
to come down.
1184
01:03:33,418 --> 01:03:34,898
He knows what kind
of trouble he'’s in.
1185
01:03:36,638 --> 01:03:37,814
[ engine stops ]
1186
01:03:39,728 --> 01:03:41,339
He cut his engine.
1187
01:03:41,339 --> 01:03:42,949
McWatt!
1188
01:03:45,734 --> 01:03:48,825
Why doesn'’t Daneeka jump?
He'’s got a chute.
1189
01:03:48,825 --> 01:03:51,392
I'’m right here, Sergeant.
I'’m not in the plane.
1190
01:03:52,829 --> 01:03:55,440
Jump, Doc! Jump!
1191
01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:58,051
Jump. Jump, Doc.
1192
01:03:59,313 --> 01:04:01,228
Please. Jump.
1193
01:04:02,360 --> 01:04:05,363
Jump. Jump.
1194
01:04:19,159 --> 01:04:22,075
Poor Hungry Joe.
1195
01:04:22,075 --> 01:04:25,383
Poor McWatt.
1196
01:04:25,383 --> 01:04:26,993
Poor Doc.
1197
01:04:26,993 --> 01:04:28,255
Yeah.
1198
01:04:29,691 --> 01:04:30,910
Poor Doc.
1199
01:04:34,218 --> 01:04:36,916
I'’ll need a full report
on this, Captain Yossarian.
1200
01:04:36,916 --> 01:04:39,092
Yossarian?
1201
01:04:39,092 --> 01:04:42,574
I haven'’t seen you
in some time.
1202
01:04:44,968 --> 01:04:46,795
Not since...
1203
01:04:49,189 --> 01:04:51,104
Snowden'’s funeral.
1204
01:04:52,584 --> 01:04:53,890
Snowden.
1205
01:04:57,067 --> 01:04:59,243
And do you want to
say something, sir?
1206
01:04:59,243 --> 01:05:01,506
What?
1207
01:05:01,506 --> 01:05:04,988
I just wondered if you
wanted to say anything.
1208
01:05:04,988 --> 01:05:06,467
No. No, no.
1209
01:05:06,467 --> 01:05:09,644
I didn'’t actually know
the young fellow.
1210
01:05:09,644 --> 01:05:12,517
It was his first mission.
1211
01:05:12,517 --> 01:05:14,911
Did you know him, Danby?
1212
01:05:14,911 --> 01:05:17,130
No, I don'’t think I
ever heard the name.
1213
01:05:17,130 --> 01:05:19,089
What was it?
1214
01:05:19,089 --> 01:05:20,394
Snowden, I think.
1215
01:05:20,394 --> 01:05:22,222
Oh, yes.
1216
01:05:23,702 --> 01:05:26,661
Well, I'’ll just
read something.
1217
01:05:26,661 --> 01:05:28,489
Yes, you...
1218
01:05:28,489 --> 01:05:30,361
You do that.
1219
01:05:33,494 --> 01:05:35,975
Is something wrong?No. No.
1220
01:05:35,975 --> 01:05:38,456
I just thought
I saw something.
1221
01:05:38,456 --> 01:05:40,806
Ahem.
1222
01:05:40,806 --> 01:05:42,590
A naked man in a tree?
1223
01:05:42,590 --> 01:05:43,940
Yes, that'’s it.
1224
01:05:49,336 --> 01:05:52,122
That'’s just
Yossarian.
1225
01:05:52,122 --> 01:05:53,253
Oh.
1226
01:05:54,776 --> 01:05:56,909
Oh. Well, in that case...
1227
01:05:59,477 --> 01:06:01,479
"The Lord is
my shepherd.
1228
01:06:03,350 --> 01:06:05,831
"I shall not want.
1229
01:06:05,831 --> 01:06:08,355
He maketh me to lie down
in green pastures."
1230
01:06:08,355 --> 01:06:09,617
Hey!
1231
01:06:11,315 --> 01:06:13,491
I'’ve been looking
all over for you.
1232
01:06:13,491 --> 01:06:15,667
You should'’ve looked
for me in this tree.
1233
01:06:15,667 --> 01:06:17,756
I don'’t want to
butt in or anything,
1234
01:06:17,756 --> 01:06:20,324
but I just wondered why you
weren'’t wearing your uniform.
1235
01:06:20,324 --> 01:06:21,760
I don'’t wanna.
1236
01:06:21,760 --> 01:06:23,022
Ah-ha.
1237
01:06:23,022 --> 01:06:26,025
Yossarian,
do something for me.
1238
01:06:26,025 --> 01:06:28,375
I want to serve this
to the men.
1239
01:06:28,375 --> 01:06:29,986
Taste it and let me know
what you think.
1240
01:06:34,642 --> 01:06:35,992
What is it?
1241
01:06:35,992 --> 01:06:37,558
Chocolate-covered
cotton.
1242
01:06:37,558 --> 01:06:39,299
[ spits ]
1243
01:06:39,299 --> 01:06:41,214
What are you, crazy?No good, huh?
1244
01:06:41,214 --> 01:06:43,216
For Christ'’s sake,
you didn'’t take the seeds out!
1245
01:06:43,216 --> 01:06:45,740
Is it really that bad?It'’s cotton!
1246
01:06:45,740 --> 01:06:47,786
They'’ve got to
learn to like it.
1247
01:06:47,786 --> 01:06:49,657
Why?I saw this great opportunity.
1248
01:06:49,657 --> 01:06:51,355
I cornered the market
in Egyptian cotton.
1249
01:06:51,355 --> 01:06:53,270
How was I supposed to know
there was gonna be a glut?
1250
01:06:53,270 --> 01:06:54,923
I'’ve got 100 warehouses
stocked with this stuff
1251
01:06:54,923 --> 01:06:56,273
all over the European theater.
1252
01:06:56,273 --> 01:06:57,535
I can'’t get rid
of a penny'’s worth.
1253
01:06:57,535 --> 01:06:59,450
People eat cotton candy,
don'’t they?
1254
01:06:59,450 --> 01:07:01,365
Well, this stuff is better.
It'’s made out of real cotton.
1255
01:07:01,365 --> 01:07:03,062
Milo, people
can'’t eat cotton!
1256
01:07:03,062 --> 01:07:04,368
They'’ve got to!
1257
01:07:04,368 --> 01:07:05,804
It'’s for
the Syndicate!
1258
01:07:05,804 --> 01:07:07,588
It will make them sick!
1259
01:07:07,588 --> 01:07:09,460
Why don'’t you try it yourself
if you don'’t believe me.
1260
01:07:09,460 --> 01:07:10,722
I did, and it
made me sick.
1261
01:07:10,722 --> 01:07:11,853
[ gunshots ]
Aah!
1262
01:07:15,727 --> 01:07:18,164
Look at that.
Looks like a funeral.
1263
01:07:18,164 --> 01:07:19,774
Yeah, they'’re burying that kid
1264
01:07:19,774 --> 01:07:21,211
that got killed in my plane
the other day.
1265
01:07:21,211 --> 01:07:23,604
Oh? What happened to him?
1266
01:07:23,604 --> 01:07:25,606
He got killed.
1267
01:07:25,606 --> 01:07:26,868
[ gunshots ]
1268
01:07:26,868 --> 01:07:28,392
What?
1269
01:07:28,392 --> 01:07:30,307
I said he got killed.
1270
01:07:30,307 --> 01:07:31,917
I'’m sorry.
1271
01:07:36,182 --> 01:07:38,228
He was your friend?
1272
01:07:38,228 --> 01:07:39,881
Maybe. I don'’t know.
1273
01:07:42,623 --> 01:07:44,016
He was very old.
1274
01:07:44,016 --> 01:07:45,931
But he was a boy.
1275
01:07:45,931 --> 01:07:47,498
Well, he died.
1276
01:07:47,498 --> 01:07:49,326
You don'’t get
any older than that.
1277
01:07:49,326 --> 01:07:50,849
[ bells chiming ]
1278
01:08:00,337 --> 01:08:02,034
Where do you work?
1279
01:08:02,034 --> 01:08:03,601
I'’m not a whore.
1280
01:08:03,601 --> 01:08:05,211
I didn'’t say you were.
1281
01:08:05,211 --> 01:08:07,735
I work in big
American company.
1282
01:08:07,735 --> 01:08:09,215
Me too.
1283
01:08:11,130 --> 01:08:12,827
You'’ll see me again?
1284
01:08:12,827 --> 01:08:14,960
Mmm.
Why?
1285
01:08:14,960 --> 01:08:16,788
Why not?
1286
01:08:16,788 --> 01:08:20,139
You think
I'’m beautiful?
1287
01:08:20,139 --> 01:08:21,749
I think you'’re perfect.
1288
01:08:21,749 --> 01:08:23,229
That'’s not true.
1289
01:08:23,229 --> 01:08:25,188
It is true.
No.
1290
01:08:25,188 --> 01:08:26,624
See?
1291
01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:31,759
Jesus!
How did they, uh...?
1292
01:08:31,759 --> 01:08:33,544
Air raid.
1293
01:08:33,544 --> 01:08:35,459
Germans?
1294
01:08:35,459 --> 01:08:37,896
Americane.
1295
01:08:46,513 --> 01:08:48,124
You do not
want me now?
1296
01:08:49,908 --> 01:08:51,649
What are you talking about?
I want you now.
1297
01:08:51,649 --> 01:08:54,434
I want your everything.
I want you to marry me.
1298
01:08:54,434 --> 01:08:56,480
You'’re crazy.Why am I crazy?
1299
01:08:56,480 --> 01:08:58,134
You can'’t
want to marry me.
1300
01:08:58,134 --> 01:09:00,179
Why not?Because I'’m not a virgin.
1301
01:09:00,179 --> 01:09:01,702
What does that
got to do with it?
1302
01:09:01,702 --> 01:09:03,791
Nobody wants to marry a girl
who'’s not a virgin.
1303
01:09:03,791 --> 01:09:06,142
I do. I want to marry you.
1304
01:09:06,142 --> 01:09:07,578
Not possible.
1305
01:09:07,578 --> 01:09:08,927
Why not?
1306
01:09:08,927 --> 01:09:10,407
Because you'’re crazy.Why am I crazy?
1307
01:09:10,407 --> 01:09:12,713
Because you
want to marry me.
1308
01:09:12,713 --> 01:09:14,846
Wait. You won'’t marry me
because I'’m crazy,
1309
01:09:14,846 --> 01:09:16,848
and you say I'’m crazy because
I want to marry you, right?
1310
01:09:16,848 --> 01:09:18,545
Sí.
You'’re crazy.
1311
01:09:18,545 --> 01:09:20,025
Why?
1312
01:09:20,025 --> 01:09:22,070
Because I love you.
1313
01:09:23,942 --> 01:09:26,640
Te amo. Te amo molto.
1314
01:09:26,640 --> 01:09:29,469
How can you love a girl
who is not a virgin?
1315
01:09:29,469 --> 01:09:32,429
Because I can'’t
marry you.
1316
01:09:32,429 --> 01:09:34,213
Why you can'’t
marry me?
1317
01:09:34,213 --> 01:09:35,910
Just because
I'’m not virgin?
1318
01:09:35,910 --> 01:09:39,000
No. Because you'’re crazy!
1319
01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:41,481
You'’re crazy.
You'’re crazy.
1320
01:09:41,481 --> 01:09:44,397
You'’re all crazy!Why are we crazy?
1321
01:09:44,397 --> 01:09:46,921
Because you don'’t know
how to stay alive.
1322
01:09:46,921 --> 01:09:50,316
That'’s the secret
of life.
1323
01:09:50,316 --> 01:09:51,970
But we have
a war to win.
1324
01:09:51,970 --> 01:09:55,495
But America
will lose the war.
1325
01:09:55,495 --> 01:09:57,323
Italy will win it.
1326
01:09:57,323 --> 01:09:59,760
America'’s the strongest
nation on earth.
1327
01:09:59,760 --> 01:10:02,023
The American fighting man
is the best-trained,
1328
01:10:02,023 --> 01:10:04,635
the best-equipped,
the best-fed...
1329
01:10:04,635 --> 01:10:06,463
Exactly. Italy,
on the other hand,
1330
01:10:06,463 --> 01:10:09,683
is one of the weakest
nations on earth.
1331
01:10:09,683 --> 01:10:12,164
And the Italian
fighting man
1332
01:10:12,164 --> 01:10:14,775
is hardly equipped
at all.
1333
01:10:14,775 --> 01:10:17,256
That'’s why my country'’s
doing so well
1334
01:10:17,256 --> 01:10:20,564
while your country'’s
doing so poorly.
1335
01:10:20,564 --> 01:10:21,913
But that'’s just silly.
1336
01:10:21,913 --> 01:10:23,828
Italy was occupied
by the Germans,
1337
01:10:23,828 --> 01:10:25,917
and is now being
occupied by us.
1338
01:10:25,917 --> 01:10:27,658
You call that
doing well?
1339
01:10:27,658 --> 01:10:29,355
Well, of course I do.
1340
01:10:29,355 --> 01:10:31,401
The Germans
are being driven out,
1341
01:10:31,401 --> 01:10:33,272
and we'’re still here.
1342
01:10:33,272 --> 01:10:34,752
In a few years,
you'’ll be gone,
1343
01:10:34,752 --> 01:10:37,015
and we will
still be here.
1344
01:10:37,015 --> 01:10:39,800
You see, Italy is a very poor,
weak country,
1345
01:10:39,800 --> 01:10:43,326
and that is what
makes us so strong--
1346
01:10:43,326 --> 01:10:45,502
Strong enough
to survive this war
1347
01:10:45,502 --> 01:10:49,201
and still be in existence
1348
01:10:49,201 --> 01:10:52,726
long after your country
has been destroyed.
1349
01:10:52,726 --> 01:10:54,206
What are you talking about?
1350
01:10:54,206 --> 01:10:56,077
America'’s not going
to be destroyed.
1351
01:10:56,077 --> 01:10:57,775
Never?
1352
01:10:57,775 --> 01:10:59,951
Well...
1353
01:10:59,951 --> 01:11:01,996
Rome was destroyed.
1354
01:11:01,996 --> 01:11:05,043
Greece was destroyed.
Persia was destroyed.
1355
01:11:05,043 --> 01:11:07,219
Spain was destroyed.
1356
01:11:07,219 --> 01:11:09,830
All great countries
are destroyed.
1357
01:11:09,830 --> 01:11:11,919
Why not yours?
1358
01:11:11,919 --> 01:11:16,402
How much longer do you think
your country will last?
1359
01:11:16,402 --> 01:11:17,534
Forever?
1360
01:11:22,843 --> 01:11:24,932
Well, forever is
a long time, I guess.
1361
01:11:24,932 --> 01:11:27,152
Very long.
1362
01:11:29,197 --> 01:11:30,416
WOMAN:
Ciao!
1363
01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:33,898
Please, we'’re talking.
1364
01:11:33,898 --> 01:11:35,856
We go to bed now?
1365
01:11:35,856 --> 01:11:38,903
No. Hey, would you go
put some clothes on?
1366
01:11:38,903 --> 01:11:40,644
You'’re practically naked.
1367
01:11:40,644 --> 01:11:42,341
[ giggles ]
1368
01:11:44,822 --> 01:11:46,998
I wish she wouldn'’t
walk around like that.
1369
01:11:46,998 --> 01:11:50,218
But it is her business
to walk around like that.
1370
01:11:50,218 --> 01:11:51,481
It'’s not nice.
1371
01:11:51,481 --> 01:11:53,657
Of course it'’s nice.
1372
01:11:53,657 --> 01:11:55,789
Mmm. She'’s nice
to look at.
1373
01:11:57,138 --> 01:11:59,880
This life is not nice.
1374
01:11:59,880 --> 01:12:01,665
I don'’t want her
to do this.
1375
01:12:01,665 --> 01:12:03,449
WOMAN 1:
When we go to America, Nately?
1376
01:12:03,449 --> 01:12:05,669
WOMAN 2:
When we go to America,
Nately?
1377
01:12:05,669 --> 01:12:07,758
You will take her
to America?
1378
01:12:07,758 --> 01:12:11,109
Away from a healthy,
active life?
1379
01:12:11,109 --> 01:12:14,460
Away from good
business opportunities?
1380
01:12:14,460 --> 01:12:16,680
Away from her friends?
1381
01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:18,986
Don'’t you have
any principles?
1382
01:12:18,986 --> 01:12:20,597
Of course not.
1383
01:12:20,597 --> 01:12:22,860
No morality?
1384
01:12:22,860 --> 01:12:24,731
I'’m a very moral man.
1385
01:12:24,731 --> 01:12:27,255
[ chuckles ]
1386
01:12:27,255 --> 01:12:29,562
And Italy is
a very moral country.
1387
01:12:29,562 --> 01:12:32,696
That'’s why we will certainly
come out on top again
1388
01:12:32,696 --> 01:12:36,569
if we succeed
in being defeated.
1389
01:12:36,569 --> 01:12:38,571
You talk like a madman.
1390
01:12:38,571 --> 01:12:41,313
But I live
like a sane one.
1391
01:12:44,011 --> 01:12:46,666
I was a fascist when
Mussolini was on top.
1392
01:12:46,666 --> 01:12:48,929
Now that he has
been deposed,
1393
01:12:48,929 --> 01:12:52,193
I am anti-fascist.
1394
01:12:52,193 --> 01:12:54,631
When the Germans were here,
1395
01:12:54,631 --> 01:12:56,720
I was fanatically
pro-German.
1396
01:12:56,720 --> 01:12:59,244
Now I'’m fanatically
pro-American.
1397
01:13:01,159 --> 01:13:04,118
You'’ll find no more
loyal partisan in all of Italy
1398
01:13:04,118 --> 01:13:06,033
than myself.
1399
01:13:06,033 --> 01:13:09,167
You'’re a shameful
opportunist.
1400
01:13:09,167 --> 01:13:10,864
What you don'’t understand
1401
01:13:10,864 --> 01:13:12,692
is that it'’s better
to die on your feet
1402
01:13:12,692 --> 01:13:14,041
than to live
on your knees.
1403
01:13:14,041 --> 01:13:16,348
You have it backwards.
1404
01:13:16,348 --> 01:13:18,568
It'’s better
to live on your feet
1405
01:13:18,568 --> 01:13:21,179
than to die
on your knees.
1406
01:13:21,179 --> 01:13:22,876
I know.
1407
01:13:24,095 --> 01:13:25,575
How do you know?
1408
01:13:25,575 --> 01:13:29,405
Because I am
107 years old.
1409
01:13:32,233 --> 01:13:34,061
How old are you?
1410
01:13:35,976 --> 01:13:37,891
I'’ll be 20 in January.
1411
01:13:37,891 --> 01:13:40,154
If you live.
1412
01:13:47,466 --> 01:13:48,728
WOMAN:
Ciao, Yossarian!
1413
01:13:48,728 --> 01:13:51,252
How are you?
1414
01:13:51,252 --> 01:13:53,298
We'’ve got to go back.
1415
01:13:53,298 --> 01:13:54,691
All the leaves
have been canceled.
1416
01:13:54,691 --> 01:13:56,214
Ciao, Yossarian!
1417
01:13:56,214 --> 01:13:57,868
Hello, hello, my dear.
1418
01:13:57,868 --> 01:13:59,609
You give me a dollar?Mm-hmm.
1419
01:13:59,609 --> 01:14:01,219
I pay you back when
we get to America.
1420
01:14:01,219 --> 01:14:03,526
Okay, just one.
1421
01:14:03,526 --> 01:14:05,266
Just one. One!
Give me that.
1422
01:14:07,007 --> 01:14:09,880
Come on, Dobbs.
Milo'’s going to fly us back.
1423
01:14:09,880 --> 01:14:12,273
Why are the leaves canceled?I don'’t know.
1424
01:14:12,273 --> 01:14:15,276
Milo says the base
is on some kind of alert.
1425
01:14:15,276 --> 01:14:17,191
Oh, yeah.
1426
01:14:17,191 --> 01:14:19,629
Cathcart raised the number
of missions to 80.
1427
01:14:19,629 --> 01:14:21,848
Eighty?
Yeah.
1428
01:14:21,848 --> 01:14:25,461
He'’s mad because Captain Orr
lost another airplane.
1429
01:14:25,461 --> 01:14:26,940
Where?
1430
01:14:26,940 --> 01:14:28,725
Ditched coming back
from Bologna.
1431
01:14:28,725 --> 01:14:30,466
Went down on the Mediterranean.
1432
01:14:30,466 --> 01:14:33,033
Air-sea rescue
out there?
1433
01:14:34,992 --> 01:14:36,559
Yeah.
1434
01:14:36,559 --> 01:14:38,212
They picked up
everybody but Orr.
1435
01:14:50,747 --> 01:14:55,316
Will you fellas stay away
from the airstrip tonight?
1436
01:14:55,316 --> 01:14:57,928
What for?
1437
01:14:57,928 --> 01:15:00,147
Just do as I say.
1438
01:15:00,147 --> 01:15:02,193
Stay in your tents.
1439
01:15:02,193 --> 01:15:04,151
Why?
1440
01:15:05,675 --> 01:15:07,459
There it is!
1441
01:15:07,459 --> 01:15:08,721
What?
1442
01:15:08,721 --> 01:15:10,331
Orr'’s plane.
1443
01:15:12,595 --> 01:15:14,684
He'’ll find his way back.
1444
01:15:14,684 --> 01:15:16,337
He always does.
1445
01:15:16,337 --> 01:15:18,644
He'’ll turn up.
1446
01:15:18,644 --> 01:15:21,647
He'’ll sneak in with
that rat-toothed giggle.
1447
01:15:24,041 --> 01:15:26,434
Aarfy, if anything
happens to me,
1448
01:15:26,434 --> 01:15:28,567
will you take care
of my girl?
1449
01:15:28,567 --> 01:15:30,787
Listen to him. His girl.
1450
01:15:30,787 --> 01:15:32,223
Yossarian?
1451
01:15:32,223 --> 01:15:33,485
Don'’t worry.
1452
01:15:33,485 --> 01:15:34,747
Nothing'’s going
to happen to you
1453
01:15:34,747 --> 01:15:36,357
that won'’t happen
to the rest of us.
1454
01:15:50,458 --> 01:15:51,677
YOSSARIAN:
Orr.
1455
01:15:52,896 --> 01:15:54,375
Orr.
1456
01:15:56,856 --> 01:15:57,988
Orr.
1457
01:16:00,730 --> 01:16:02,253
Orr.
1458
01:16:05,125 --> 01:16:07,214
I'’ll be through in a minute.YOSSARIAN: No, you won'’t.
1459
01:16:07,214 --> 01:16:08,912
You always say that,
and every time you go ahead,
1460
01:16:08,912 --> 01:16:10,914
I gotta watch you fitting
some microscopic thing
1461
01:16:10,914 --> 01:16:13,612
into that masterpiece of junk
you'’re always messing with.
1462
01:16:13,612 --> 01:16:15,788
Then I guess you
haven'’t seen it?
1463
01:16:15,788 --> 01:16:17,877
What?
1464
01:16:17,877 --> 01:16:19,226
You guess I haven'’t
seen what?
1465
01:16:19,226 --> 01:16:22,403
A little square gasket
about this big.
1466
01:16:22,403 --> 01:16:24,318
It was here a minute ago.
Have you seen it?
1467
01:16:24,318 --> 01:16:26,407
No.I'’ll have to start over again.
1468
01:16:26,407 --> 01:16:28,845
Please don'’t do that.
1469
01:16:28,845 --> 01:16:30,498
Why?
1470
01:16:30,498 --> 01:16:32,326
Because it gives me
a terrible pain.
1471
01:16:32,326 --> 01:16:33,893
Why?
1472
01:16:35,503 --> 01:16:37,027
Why what?
1473
01:16:37,027 --> 01:16:38,724
Why won'’t you
fly with me?
1474
01:16:38,724 --> 01:16:40,639
What the hell'’s that got to do
with the pain in my chest
1475
01:16:40,639 --> 01:16:42,685
that you and your teeny bolts
and lousy gaskets give me?
1476
01:16:42,685 --> 01:16:45,905
It'’s got everything
to do with it.
1477
01:16:45,905 --> 01:16:48,038
Are you trying to
tell me something?
1478
01:16:48,038 --> 01:16:50,127
Just that
if you were smart,
1479
01:16:50,127 --> 01:16:52,216
you'’d fly with me.
1480
01:16:52,216 --> 01:16:53,870
You'’ve already
cracked up three planes.
1481
01:16:53,870 --> 01:16:55,785
Four.
1482
01:16:55,785 --> 01:16:57,830
I'’m a good pilot.
1483
01:16:57,830 --> 01:16:59,397
I don'’t want to end up
in the ocean.
1484
01:16:59,397 --> 01:17:01,399
You could thank me.
1485
01:17:01,399 --> 01:17:02,705
For getting the job?
1486
01:17:02,705 --> 01:17:04,141
For finishing
your stove.
1487
01:17:04,141 --> 01:17:05,577
Winter'’s coming.
1488
01:17:05,577 --> 01:17:07,448
You'’ll have heat,
hot water.
1489
01:17:07,448 --> 01:17:09,929
You'’ll be able to boil
eggs and everything.
1490
01:17:09,929 --> 01:17:12,366
What do you mean, me?
Where will you be?
1491
01:17:12,366 --> 01:17:13,933
I don'’t know.
1492
01:17:13,933 --> 01:17:15,935
Here and there.
1493
01:17:15,935 --> 01:17:17,545
Orr, there isn'’t anyone
in this squadron
1494
01:17:17,545 --> 01:17:18,808
who wants to fly with you.
1495
01:17:18,808 --> 01:17:20,505
You'’re a one-man
disaster area.
1496
01:17:20,505 --> 01:17:21,854
They'’re crazy.
1497
01:17:21,854 --> 01:17:23,290
I agree with them.
1498
01:17:23,290 --> 01:17:24,814
You'’re crazy.
1499
01:17:54,626 --> 01:17:55,758
Orr?
1500
01:18:21,348 --> 01:18:22,523
Orr?
1501
01:18:57,602 --> 01:18:59,822
Orr?
He'’s dead.
1502
01:18:59,822 --> 01:19:01,562
Who'’s he?Nobody you'’d know.
1503
01:19:01,562 --> 01:19:03,303
He'’s just a kid
from my hometown.
1504
01:19:03,303 --> 01:19:05,218
He died a few minutes ago.
1505
01:19:05,218 --> 01:19:07,264
They came all the way from
the States to see him.
1506
01:19:07,264 --> 01:19:08,656
Get in the bed,
will you?
1507
01:19:08,656 --> 01:19:10,267
What?
1508
01:19:10,267 --> 01:19:12,225
Look, his mother
and his father and his brother
1509
01:19:12,225 --> 01:19:13,661
flew all the way here.
1510
01:19:13,661 --> 01:19:14,967
They know he'’s dying.
1511
01:19:14,967 --> 01:19:16,229
So, what do you
want me to do?
1512
01:19:16,229 --> 01:19:18,057
Be him.
1513
01:19:18,057 --> 01:19:19,363
Just for
a few minutes.
1514
01:19:19,363 --> 01:19:21,408
Then they'’ll
go away.
1515
01:19:21,408 --> 01:19:24,672
They came 5,000 miles
to see you before you die.
1516
01:19:24,672 --> 01:19:26,326
What are you talking about?
I'’m not dying.
1517
01:19:26,326 --> 01:19:28,154
Of course you'’re dying.
We'’re all dying.
1518
01:19:28,154 --> 01:19:29,416
But Doc, they'’ll know!
1519
01:19:29,416 --> 01:19:30,940
They came here
to see their son!
1520
01:19:30,940 --> 01:19:32,550
They'’ll have to take
what they can get.
1521
01:19:32,550 --> 01:19:34,552
One dying boy is just
as good as another.
1522
01:19:34,552 --> 01:19:35,901
Or just as bad.
1523
01:19:35,901 --> 01:19:37,642
[ laughs ]Doc, it won'’t work.
1524
01:19:37,642 --> 01:19:40,079
Look, these people
have come a long way,
1525
01:19:40,079 --> 01:19:41,472
and I don'’t want
to disappoint them.
1526
01:19:41,472 --> 01:19:44,344
I'’m sentimental
about old people.
1527
01:19:44,344 --> 01:19:45,868
What if they
start crying?
1528
01:19:45,868 --> 01:19:47,957
They probably will
start crying.
1529
01:19:47,957 --> 01:19:50,046
I'’ll wait right
outside the door.
1530
01:19:50,046 --> 01:19:51,874
If it starts
getting sticky,
1531
01:19:51,874 --> 01:19:53,397
I'’ll come in
and break it up.
1532
01:19:55,442 --> 01:19:57,270
I don'’t think
it'’s gonna work.
1533
01:19:57,270 --> 01:20:00,230
Look, do this for me,
and I'’ll do something for you.
1534
01:20:00,230 --> 01:20:01,666
Will you ground me?
1535
01:20:01,666 --> 01:20:03,537
You know I can'’t.What do you mean?
1536
01:20:03,537 --> 01:20:05,061
You can fill out
a slip that says
1537
01:20:05,061 --> 01:20:06,366
I'’m on the verge
of a nervous collapse
1538
01:20:06,366 --> 01:20:07,585
and send it to group,
can'’t you?
1539
01:20:07,585 --> 01:20:10,022
Sure, I can.
1540
01:20:10,022 --> 01:20:11,241
Mmm!
1541
01:20:19,162 --> 01:20:20,641
But there'’s a catch.
1542
01:20:23,557 --> 01:20:25,342
Catch-22?
Yes.
1543
01:20:25,342 --> 01:20:26,952
Group has to
approve my action,
1544
01:20:26,952 --> 01:20:28,562
and group
isn'’t going to.
1545
01:20:28,562 --> 01:20:30,347
They'’ll put you right back
on combat status
1546
01:20:30,347 --> 01:20:32,740
and send me to rot
in the Pacific Ocean.
1547
01:20:32,740 --> 01:20:34,917
[ knocking ]Oh, my God. Here they are.
1548
01:20:34,917 --> 01:20:36,744
Start dying.
1549
01:20:36,744 --> 01:20:39,573
Do this for me,
and I'’ll send you to Rome
1550
01:20:39,573 --> 01:20:41,227
on a five-day R&R.
1551
01:20:59,071 --> 01:21:01,334
He looks terrible.
1552
01:21:01,334 --> 01:21:02,988
He'’s sick, Pa.
1553
01:21:02,988 --> 01:21:04,598
Harvey?
1554
01:21:06,600 --> 01:21:08,646
My name is Yossarian.
1555
01:21:08,646 --> 01:21:10,996
His name
is Yossarian, Mother.
1556
01:21:12,476 --> 01:21:14,347
Yossarian.
1557
01:21:14,347 --> 01:21:16,132
Don'’t you
recognize me?
1558
01:21:16,132 --> 01:21:17,481
I'’m your
brother John.
1559
01:21:17,481 --> 01:21:19,483
Don'’t you know
who I am?
1560
01:21:19,483 --> 01:21:22,573
Sure, I do.
You'’re my brother John.
1561
01:21:22,573 --> 01:21:24,792
JOHN:
Pa, he knows me.
1562
01:21:24,792 --> 01:21:27,317
Yossarian, look.
Here'’s Papa.
1563
01:21:27,317 --> 01:21:28,884
Say hello to Papa.
1564
01:21:28,884 --> 01:21:30,973
Hello, Papa.
1565
01:21:30,973 --> 01:21:32,931
Hello, Harvey.
1566
01:21:32,931 --> 01:21:34,367
His name'’s
Yossarian, Pa.
1567
01:21:34,367 --> 01:21:36,456
He looks so bad.
1568
01:21:36,456 --> 01:21:38,067
He'’s very sick, Pa.
1569
01:21:38,067 --> 01:21:40,069
Doctor says
he'’s going to die.
1570
01:21:41,505 --> 01:21:43,202
Harvey.
1571
01:21:43,202 --> 01:21:45,639
Ma, his name'’s
Yossarian.
1572
01:21:47,467 --> 01:21:50,296
She doesn'’t remember
things too good anymore.
1573
01:21:50,296 --> 01:21:52,951
That'’s okay.
1574
01:21:52,951 --> 01:21:54,648
She can call me Harvey
if she wants to.
1575
01:21:56,346 --> 01:21:58,174
Harvey.
1576
01:21:58,174 --> 01:21:59,349
Psst.
1577
01:22:03,962 --> 01:22:05,311
Don'’t worry, Yossarian.
1578
01:22:05,311 --> 01:22:06,834
Everything'’s going
to be all right.
1579
01:22:06,834 --> 01:22:08,227
YOSSARIAN: I know.Good.
1580
01:22:13,754 --> 01:22:15,452
We came all the way
from New York.
1581
01:22:15,452 --> 01:22:17,323
We were afraid we wouldn'’t
get here in time.
1582
01:22:19,151 --> 01:22:20,413
In time for what?
1583
01:22:20,413 --> 01:22:22,415
In time to see you
before you died.
1584
01:22:24,940 --> 01:22:27,159
What difference
would it make?
1585
01:22:27,159 --> 01:22:29,553
JOHN:
We didn'’t want you
to die by yourself.
1586
01:22:30,902 --> 01:22:33,252
What difference
would it make?
1587
01:22:33,252 --> 01:22:34,950
He must be
getting delirious.
1588
01:22:34,950 --> 01:22:37,300
He keeps saying the same
thing over and over again.
1589
01:22:37,300 --> 01:22:38,736
Harvey--
1590
01:22:38,736 --> 01:22:41,304
It'’s not Harvey, Ma.
It'’s Yossarian.
1591
01:22:41,304 --> 01:22:43,393
What difference does it make?
He'’s dying.
1592
01:23:09,245 --> 01:23:10,942
[ wind gusting ]
1593
01:23:10,942 --> 01:23:12,074
Listen, kid.
1594
01:23:13,423 --> 01:23:15,686
It'’s-- It'’s not bad.
1595
01:23:19,342 --> 01:23:20,952
I'’m gonna put
a tourniquet on it.
1596
01:23:55,030 --> 01:23:56,422
There.
1597
01:23:56,422 --> 01:23:58,207
It'’s good.
1598
01:23:58,207 --> 01:24:00,165
It'’s a good bandage.
1599
01:24:00,165 --> 01:24:04,082
Cold. Cold.
1600
01:24:04,082 --> 01:24:05,518
Cold.
1601
01:24:05,518 --> 01:24:07,868
It'’s going to
be okay, kid.
1602
01:24:07,868 --> 01:24:10,088
We'’ll be home soon.
1603
01:24:21,795 --> 01:24:23,623
Does the leg still hurt?
1604
01:24:23,623 --> 01:24:24,798
No.
1605
01:24:31,805 --> 01:24:33,981
NATELY:
Yossarian? Hey, Yossarian?
1606
01:24:33,981 --> 01:24:35,244
You in there?
1607
01:24:35,244 --> 01:24:36,593
Orr?
1608
01:24:37,942 --> 01:24:39,726
Is that Orr,
you son of a bitch?
1609
01:24:41,337 --> 01:24:42,599
It'’s me, Nately.
1610
01:24:42,599 --> 01:24:43,991
Nately. What'’s happening?
1611
01:24:43,991 --> 01:24:46,385
Jesus, it'’s 3:30 a.m.
1612
01:24:46,385 --> 01:24:48,387
It'’s Dobbs.
We'’ve got to stop him.
1613
01:24:48,387 --> 01:24:49,693
What do we got
to stop him for?
1614
01:24:49,693 --> 01:24:51,086
He'’s going to kill
the colonel.
1615
01:24:51,086 --> 01:24:53,479
Cathcart?
Yes.
1616
01:24:53,479 --> 01:24:55,916
Dobbs is going to
kill Colonel Cathcart?
1617
01:25:12,672 --> 01:25:13,978
[ click ]
1618
01:25:18,635 --> 01:25:20,376
[ whistling ]
1619
01:25:33,606 --> 01:25:34,825
[ grunts ]
1620
01:25:34,825 --> 01:25:36,174
Are you crazy?
1621
01:25:36,174 --> 01:25:37,393
What the hell'’s
the matter with you?
1622
01:25:37,393 --> 01:25:38,829
Nothing'’s the matter with me.
1623
01:25:38,829 --> 01:25:40,613
It'’s the first sane
thing I'’ve done.
1624
01:25:40,613 --> 01:25:42,572
They'’ll get you for murder.Cathcart'’s a murderer.
1625
01:25:42,572 --> 01:25:43,964
He'’ll kill us all
if we don'’t stop him.
1626
01:25:43,964 --> 01:25:45,444
Come on.
Give me the gun.
1627
01:25:45,444 --> 01:25:46,967
Take it easy.
1628
01:25:46,967 --> 01:25:48,404
You just got
a few more missions.
1629
01:25:48,404 --> 01:25:50,580
You'’re crazy. Crazy!
1630
01:25:50,580 --> 01:25:52,234
He'’ll raise the number again,
and you know it!
1631
01:25:52,234 --> 01:25:54,061
You know that!
1632
01:25:54,061 --> 01:25:55,802
He'’ll keep us flying missions
till we'’re all dead.
1633
01:25:55,802 --> 01:25:57,413
Come on, Dobbs.
1634
01:25:57,413 --> 01:25:59,806
What the hell do you care,
you crazy bastard?
1635
01:25:59,806 --> 01:26:01,634
You don'’t want to go home
because you'’re still in love
1636
01:26:01,634 --> 01:26:03,070
with that greedy
little whore.
1637
01:26:03,070 --> 01:26:05,203
You happen to be talking
about my fiancée.
1638
01:26:05,203 --> 01:26:08,075
The fiancée of
any guy with 10 bucks
1639
01:26:08,075 --> 01:26:11,383
that doesn'’t mind risking
a dose of several diseases
1640
01:26:11,383 --> 01:26:13,385
for 15 minutes of phony
moans and groans
1641
01:26:13,385 --> 01:26:14,560
on a dirty mattress.
1642
01:26:16,083 --> 01:26:17,650
Nately.
1643
01:26:17,650 --> 01:26:18,782
[ gasps ]
1644
01:26:28,618 --> 01:26:30,837
Nately? Nately.
1645
01:26:33,318 --> 01:26:34,493
Yossarian.
1646
01:26:36,887 --> 01:26:38,149
I think I hurt him.
1647
01:26:46,418 --> 01:26:48,681
Oh, he'’ll be all right.
1648
01:26:48,681 --> 01:26:50,292
Here he comes.
1649
01:26:52,076 --> 01:26:54,644
Give me the gun.No, no, no. Listen.
1650
01:26:54,644 --> 01:26:56,167
If he raises the number
of missions again,
1651
01:26:56,167 --> 01:26:58,125
I swear to God
I'’ll help you kill him.
1652
01:26:58,125 --> 01:26:59,562
Really?
I swear.
1653
01:27:01,346 --> 01:27:04,175
Well, that'’s very
reasonable of you.
1654
01:27:04,175 --> 01:27:06,960
Something'’s going on.
1655
01:27:06,960 --> 01:27:09,702
Milo and the colonel,
they'’re up to something.
1656
01:27:09,702 --> 01:27:11,095
What are you
talking about?
1657
01:27:11,095 --> 01:27:12,966
They'’ve been planning
something up there.
1658
01:27:12,966 --> 01:27:14,229
What'’s he doing?
1659
01:27:14,229 --> 01:27:15,665
Something.
I don'’t know.
1660
01:27:26,719 --> 01:27:28,808
What if they turn
their lights on?
1661
01:27:28,808 --> 01:27:30,332
What the fuck?
1662
01:27:38,078 --> 01:27:39,732
Yossarian, listen!
1663
01:27:39,732 --> 01:27:41,473
[ airplanes approach ]
1664
01:27:42,866 --> 01:27:44,215
What is this?
1665
01:27:45,782 --> 01:27:46,957
Look.
1666
01:27:53,485 --> 01:27:55,618
Jesus Christ!
1667
01:27:55,618 --> 01:27:57,576
They'’re all mad!
1668
01:28:17,161 --> 01:28:19,206
All right,
that was good.
1669
01:28:19,206 --> 01:28:20,773
[ indistinct radio chatter ]
1670
01:28:20,773 --> 01:28:23,602
Bank left and wait
for further instructions.
1671
01:28:23,602 --> 01:28:26,170
All right, number 3.
1672
01:28:26,170 --> 01:28:27,563
Be careful not to hit
our storehouses
1673
01:28:27,563 --> 01:28:29,695
at the end of the field.
1674
01:28:29,695 --> 01:28:32,524
Direct hit on the mess hall,
if you please.
1675
01:28:32,524 --> 01:28:34,744
And, number 3...
1676
01:28:34,744 --> 01:28:35,919
Hold on, number 3.
1677
01:28:37,921 --> 01:28:40,010
Yossarian, get off the field.
1678
01:28:40,010 --> 01:28:41,968
What? You too, Dobbs.
1679
01:28:41,968 --> 01:28:43,709
All right, number 3,
let them go.
1680
01:28:44,841 --> 01:28:46,451
[ explosions ]
1681
01:28:49,976 --> 01:28:53,153
You bastards!
Get out of here!
1682
01:28:53,153 --> 01:28:54,677
Yossarian, cut that out.
1683
01:28:54,677 --> 01:28:56,156
Those are our men
you'’re shooting at.
1684
01:28:56,156 --> 01:28:57,506
Take cover.
Those are our men.
1685
01:28:57,506 --> 01:28:59,682
This is an M&M
Enterprises operation.
1686
01:28:59,682 --> 01:29:01,814
[ laughs ]
1687
01:29:03,425 --> 01:29:05,340
Number 4 and 5,
number 3 did not
1688
01:29:05,340 --> 01:29:06,863
get those supplies
by the mess hall.
1689
01:29:06,863 --> 01:29:08,778
Now, I told you men
to come in low.
1690
01:29:08,778 --> 01:29:10,475
Let'’s get right
on target this time.
1691
01:29:10,475 --> 01:29:11,824
Shoddy work will not do.
1692
01:29:16,351 --> 01:29:17,482
Dobbs!
1693
01:29:30,843 --> 01:29:32,889
What are you doing,
Yossarian?
1694
01:29:32,889 --> 01:29:34,369
Get off the field!
1695
01:29:34,369 --> 01:29:35,761
[ click ]
1696
01:29:37,415 --> 01:29:39,722
I want to see you later.
You'’re confined to base.
1697
01:29:39,722 --> 01:29:41,637
I won'’t forget this.
1698
01:29:41,637 --> 01:29:43,726
I don'’t think the Air Force
is going to forget about this.
1699
01:29:43,726 --> 01:29:45,380
Don'’t be ridiculous,
Yossarian!
1700
01:29:45,380 --> 01:29:46,903
What'’s good for
M&M Enterprises
1701
01:29:46,903 --> 01:29:48,600
is good for the Air Force!
1702
01:29:48,600 --> 01:29:50,254
There goes the bomb dump!
1703
01:29:50,254 --> 01:29:52,387
We have to get rid
of that cotton.
1704
01:29:52,387 --> 01:29:55,259
The Germans promised
to take it off our hands
1705
01:29:55,259 --> 01:29:58,305
if we ran this mission
for them.
1706
01:29:58,305 --> 01:30:00,003
It'’s all part of the deal!
1707
01:30:00,003 --> 01:30:01,613
There goes
the officers'’ club!
1708
01:30:01,613 --> 01:30:02,875
You made a deal
with the Germans
1709
01:30:02,875 --> 01:30:04,137
to bomb our own base?
1710
01:30:04,137 --> 01:30:06,226
A contract is a contract!
1711
01:30:06,226 --> 01:30:08,533
That'’s what
we'’re fighting for!
1712
01:30:08,533 --> 01:30:10,361
This is Lieutenant
Minderbinder speaking.
1713
01:30:10,361 --> 01:30:12,407
Will you clear
the field, please.
1714
01:30:12,407 --> 01:30:13,756
Following this bomb run,
1715
01:30:13,756 --> 01:30:15,758
we will begin to strafe.
1716
01:30:15,758 --> 01:30:17,020
Strafe?
1717
01:30:17,020 --> 01:30:18,891
It'’s all part
of the contract.
1718
01:30:18,891 --> 01:30:20,110
There goes
headquarters!
1719
01:30:26,508 --> 01:30:28,205
Nately!
1720
01:30:30,207 --> 01:30:31,643
Nately!
1721
01:30:33,166 --> 01:30:34,733
Nately!
1722
01:30:34,733 --> 01:30:36,692
[ machine-gun fire ]
1723
01:30:36,692 --> 01:30:37,910
Nately!
1724
01:30:40,217 --> 01:30:41,566
Nately!
1725
01:30:48,399 --> 01:30:49,748
Nately!
1726
01:30:52,011 --> 01:30:53,752
What'’s that?
1727
01:30:53,752 --> 01:30:55,232
He said, "Nately."
1728
01:30:55,232 --> 01:30:56,625
Nately is dead.
1729
01:30:56,625 --> 01:30:58,496
I know that.
1730
01:30:58,496 --> 01:30:59,932
Who'’s dead?
1731
01:30:59,932 --> 01:31:01,543
You'’re not.
He will be soon
1732
01:31:01,543 --> 01:31:03,153
if we don'’t get
at that knife wound.
1733
01:31:03,153 --> 01:31:04,371
What'’s happening?
1734
01:31:04,371 --> 01:31:06,156
We'’re going to operate.
1735
01:31:06,156 --> 01:31:08,375
We'’re gonna take a little
look around inside you.
1736
01:31:08,375 --> 01:31:10,813
We'’re gonna clean you out
and stitch you up.
1737
01:31:14,381 --> 01:31:16,035
Hey.
1738
01:31:16,035 --> 01:31:17,950
Yossarian.
1739
01:31:17,950 --> 01:31:19,648
Hmm?
1740
01:31:19,648 --> 01:31:21,476
We'’ve got your pal.
1741
01:31:21,476 --> 01:31:23,695
Hmm?
1742
01:31:23,695 --> 01:31:25,741
You heard me.
1743
01:31:25,741 --> 01:31:27,830
We'’ve got your pal.
1744
01:31:27,830 --> 01:31:30,876
Who? Who'’s my pal? Who?
1745
01:31:30,876 --> 01:31:32,225
What'’s he saying?
1746
01:31:32,225 --> 01:31:33,923
Something about his pal.
1747
01:31:33,923 --> 01:31:35,446
Who'’s his pal?
1748
01:31:35,446 --> 01:31:36,882
I don'’t know.
Maybe it'’s Nately.
1749
01:31:38,928 --> 01:31:40,669
Nately'’s dead.
1750
01:31:58,295 --> 01:31:59,731
Hey, I wouldn'’t go
in there if I were you.
1751
01:31:59,731 --> 01:32:01,646
Looks like something'’s
happened.
1752
01:32:01,646 --> 01:32:04,344
I got to go find
Nately'’s whore.
1753
01:32:04,344 --> 01:32:06,521
I got to tell her
he'’s dead.
1754
01:32:12,091 --> 01:32:14,267
Want to come with me?Not now.
1755
01:32:14,267 --> 01:32:16,574
I promised this young lady
some stockings and cigarettes.
1756
01:32:16,574 --> 01:32:17,923
Oh, yeah?
For her family.
1757
01:32:17,923 --> 01:32:20,012
I know them.
First-class people.
1758
01:32:21,753 --> 01:32:22,928
Okay.
1759
01:32:24,234 --> 01:32:25,365
I'’ll see you later.Sure.
1760
01:32:26,976 --> 01:32:29,065
[ vehicle approaches ]
1761
01:32:35,637 --> 01:32:37,334
Andiamo.
1762
01:32:37,334 --> 01:32:39,554
Yes, we'’re going
up to my room.
1763
01:32:42,295 --> 01:32:44,471
Yossarian, you'’d better
get off the streets pretty soon.
1764
01:32:44,471 --> 01:32:46,691
It'’s almost curfew.
You don'’t even have a pass.
1765
01:32:53,089 --> 01:32:54,481
[ cat meows ]
1766
01:33:21,987 --> 01:33:23,902
What happened?
1767
01:33:23,902 --> 01:33:26,339
Gone. All gone.
1768
01:33:26,339 --> 01:33:27,732
Who?
1769
01:33:27,732 --> 01:33:29,734
All the poor young girls.
1770
01:33:29,734 --> 01:33:31,257
All gone.
1771
01:33:31,257 --> 01:33:33,346
Taken away.
1772
01:33:33,346 --> 01:33:35,392
Who took them away?
1773
01:33:35,392 --> 01:33:37,481
The White Hats.
1774
01:33:37,481 --> 01:33:39,831
The White Hats?
The MPs?
1775
01:33:39,831 --> 01:33:42,181
Yes, the MPs.
1776
01:33:43,879 --> 01:33:46,969
Well, where did they
take them?
1777
01:33:46,969 --> 01:33:50,102
Who knows? All gone.
1778
01:33:55,760 --> 01:33:57,414
Where'’s the old man?
1779
01:33:57,414 --> 01:33:59,938
Gone.Gone where?
1780
01:33:59,938 --> 01:34:01,940
Dead.
1781
01:34:01,940 --> 01:34:03,899
What?
1782
01:34:03,899 --> 01:34:06,379
He was alive one minute,
1783
01:34:06,379 --> 01:34:08,077
then he was dead.
1784
01:34:08,077 --> 01:34:09,644
Can'’t be.
1785
01:34:09,644 --> 01:34:11,384
Why not?
1786
01:34:19,697 --> 01:34:21,177
So where did
they take the girls?
1787
01:34:21,177 --> 01:34:22,526
Did they arrest them?
1788
01:34:22,526 --> 01:34:24,615
I don'’t know.
1789
01:34:24,615 --> 01:34:26,617
They just came in
and took them.
1790
01:34:28,750 --> 01:34:30,665
They must have
had a reason.
1791
01:34:30,665 --> 01:34:33,102
They couldn'’t just barge
in here and drag them away.
1792
01:34:33,102 --> 01:34:34,930
No reason.
1793
01:34:36,845 --> 01:34:38,803
What right
did they have?
1794
01:34:38,803 --> 01:34:40,631
Catch-22.
1795
01:34:51,816 --> 01:34:54,514
What? What did you say?
1796
01:34:54,514 --> 01:34:56,691
Catch-22.
1797
01:35:06,657 --> 01:35:07,963
What the hell
are you talking about?
1798
01:35:07,963 --> 01:35:09,399
How do you know
it was catch-22?
1799
01:35:09,399 --> 01:35:11,575
The girls said,
1800
01:35:11,575 --> 01:35:14,273
"Why are you
taking us away?"
1801
01:35:14,273 --> 01:35:17,059
The men said,
"Catch-22."
1802
01:35:17,059 --> 01:35:20,236
The girls said,
"What right do you have?"
1803
01:35:20,236 --> 01:35:23,021
The men said,
"Catch-22."
1804
01:35:23,021 --> 01:35:28,244
All they kept saying
was "Catch-22, catch-22."
1805
01:35:28,244 --> 01:35:30,376
What does it mean?
1806
01:35:30,376 --> 01:35:31,813
Didn'’t they show it to you?
1807
01:35:31,813 --> 01:35:33,118
Didn'’t you ask them to read it
to you?
1808
01:35:33,118 --> 01:35:36,513
They don'’t have
to show us catch-22.
1809
01:35:36,513 --> 01:35:37,862
Who says so?
1810
01:35:37,862 --> 01:35:39,342
The law says so.
1811
01:35:39,342 --> 01:35:41,300
What law?
1812
01:35:41,300 --> 01:35:43,955
Catch-22.
1813
01:35:59,318 --> 01:36:01,451
[ crowd noise ]
1814
01:36:03,061 --> 01:36:05,150
[ police whistle blows ]
1815
01:36:05,150 --> 01:36:07,109
[ indistinct chattering ]
1816
01:36:52,502 --> 01:36:54,983
[ vehicles approaching ]
1817
01:37:24,621 --> 01:37:25,970
Milo!
1818
01:37:25,970 --> 01:37:28,016
Milo!
1819
01:37:29,626 --> 01:37:31,323
Milo, I'’m going to kill you,
1820
01:37:31,323 --> 01:37:33,630
you murdering
son of a bitch!
1821
01:37:35,762 --> 01:37:37,460
No. Take it easy.
Don'’t hurt him.
1822
01:37:37,460 --> 01:37:39,288
I know how you feel,
Yossarian,
1823
01:37:39,288 --> 01:37:40,637
but it wasn'’t my fault.
1824
01:37:40,637 --> 01:37:41,899
Whose fault was it?
1825
01:37:41,899 --> 01:37:43,553
No one'’s.
1826
01:37:43,553 --> 01:37:45,337
Nately was a victim of
certain economic pressures.
1827
01:37:45,337 --> 01:37:47,470
If you understood anything
about the basic laws
1828
01:37:47,470 --> 01:37:49,602
of supply and demand--You unbelievable bastard!
1829
01:37:49,602 --> 01:37:51,039
[ grunts ]
1830
01:37:56,087 --> 01:37:57,610
You want me
to take you to her?
1831
01:37:57,610 --> 01:37:59,786
Who?
Nately'’s whore.
1832
01:37:59,786 --> 01:38:01,266
Isn'’t that who
you'’re looking for?
1833
01:38:01,266 --> 01:38:03,051
You know where she is?
1834
01:38:03,051 --> 01:38:04,356
Of course I do.
1835
01:38:22,461 --> 01:38:24,115
You'’re AWOL, Yossarian.
1836
01:38:24,115 --> 01:38:26,291
I thought you
knew better than that.
1837
01:38:26,291 --> 01:38:27,597
That'’s not smart.
1838
01:38:27,597 --> 01:38:29,251
Nately would never do
anything that dumb.
1839
01:38:29,251 --> 01:38:30,687
He'’s dead.It'’s too bad.
1840
01:38:30,687 --> 01:38:32,254
He was a nice fellow.
1841
01:38:32,254 --> 01:38:34,386
Your boys made a nice
direct hit on him.
1842
01:38:34,386 --> 01:38:35,648
But he died a rich man.
1843
01:38:35,648 --> 01:38:37,520
He had over 60 shares
in the Syndicate.
1844
01:38:37,520 --> 01:38:39,565
What good is that? He'’s dead.Then his family will get it.
1845
01:38:39,565 --> 01:38:41,089
He didn'’t have time
to have a family.
1846
01:38:41,089 --> 01:38:42,394
Then his parents
will get it.
1847
01:38:42,394 --> 01:38:44,266
They don'’t need it.
They'’re rich.
1848
01:38:44,266 --> 01:38:45,963
Then they'’ll understand.
1849
01:38:52,404 --> 01:38:54,667
Ask for number 33.
1850
01:39:56,555 --> 01:39:57,992
Hello, Yossarian.
1851
01:40:02,474 --> 01:40:03,736
I didn'’t know.
1852
01:40:03,736 --> 01:40:05,738
That I work for Milo?
1853
01:40:05,738 --> 01:40:08,132
Everybody works for Milo.
1854
01:40:08,132 --> 01:40:09,264
Yeah.
1855
01:40:11,135 --> 01:40:12,876
Well, he told me
to ask for number 33.
1856
01:40:12,876 --> 01:40:15,487
Mm-hmm, 33.
1857
01:40:20,797 --> 01:40:22,233
Ten dollars, please.
1858
01:40:29,588 --> 01:40:31,808
No towel, Yossarian.
1859
01:40:45,343 --> 01:40:47,128
Hello, Yossarian.Hi, kid.
1860
01:40:54,570 --> 01:40:56,093
Where'’s your sister?
1861
01:40:56,093 --> 01:40:57,355
In there.
1862
01:40:57,355 --> 01:40:58,922
You giving me a dollar?
1863
01:40:58,922 --> 01:41:00,402
Yeah.
1864
01:41:00,402 --> 01:41:01,751
We go to America soon?
1865
01:41:01,751 --> 01:41:03,057
Sure, kid.
1866
01:41:10,890 --> 01:41:12,414
Ciao, Yossarian.
1867
01:41:12,414 --> 01:41:13,719
Hi.
1868
01:41:13,719 --> 01:41:15,330
You make love now?
1869
01:41:15,330 --> 01:41:17,071
Uh, no, no.
Listen...
1870
01:41:17,071 --> 01:41:19,551
I have to tell you
something.
1871
01:41:19,551 --> 01:41:21,510
Nately?
1872
01:41:21,510 --> 01:41:23,207
Yeah.
1873
01:41:23,207 --> 01:41:25,296
He'’s coming?
1874
01:41:25,296 --> 01:41:26,993
Uh, no.
Not exactly.
1875
01:41:28,952 --> 01:41:30,867
We go to America soon?
1876
01:41:30,867 --> 01:41:33,174
Uh, yeah.
1877
01:41:33,174 --> 01:41:35,089
Listen--
When we go?
1878
01:41:36,612 --> 01:41:37,874
Listen...
1879
01:41:37,874 --> 01:41:40,137
[ sighs ]
1880
01:41:40,137 --> 01:41:41,530
...Nately'’s dead.
1881
01:41:46,187 --> 01:41:48,232
Bruto.
1882
01:41:48,232 --> 01:41:49,886
Bruto.
1883
01:41:49,886 --> 01:41:51,931
[ screaming in Italian ]
1884
01:41:53,542 --> 01:41:55,239
[ grunting ]
1885
01:41:55,239 --> 01:41:56,980
It'’s not my fault!
1886
01:41:59,330 --> 01:42:01,637
He'’s my friend,
you dumb bitch!
1887
01:42:01,637 --> 01:42:03,247
[ women yelling in Italian ]
1888
01:45:40,769 --> 01:45:42,161
I only raped her once.
1889
01:45:43,467 --> 01:45:44,773
You killed her.
1890
01:45:44,773 --> 01:45:46,557
I had to do that
after I raped her.
1891
01:45:46,557 --> 01:45:47,863
I couldn'’t very well
let her go around
1892
01:45:47,863 --> 01:45:49,560
saying bad things
about me, could I?
1893
01:45:49,560 --> 01:45:51,606
What did you have to touch her
at all for, you dumb bastard?
1894
01:45:51,606 --> 01:45:53,390
Why didn'’t you get
some girl off the streets?
1895
01:45:53,390 --> 01:45:56,175
Oh, no. Not me.
I never paid for it in my life.
1896
01:45:56,175 --> 01:45:58,308
[ tires screech distantly ][ vehicle doors open and close ]
1897
01:46:00,179 --> 01:46:01,616
MAN:
Get back! Get back!
1898
01:46:12,104 --> 01:46:14,106
Aarf, are you insane?
1899
01:46:14,106 --> 01:46:15,804
They'’re going to
throw you in jail.
1900
01:46:17,762 --> 01:46:19,590
You just killed a girl.
You threw her out the window.
1901
01:46:19,590 --> 01:46:21,287
She'’s lying out there
in the street!
1902
01:46:21,287 --> 01:46:23,028
She has no right
to be there, you know.
1903
01:46:23,028 --> 01:46:24,290
It'’s after curfew.
1904
01:46:31,428 --> 01:46:32,560
[ sighs ]
1905
01:46:38,130 --> 01:46:40,176
Don'’t you realize
what you'’ve done?
1906
01:46:41,438 --> 01:46:43,440
You murdered
a human being!
1907
01:46:43,440 --> 01:46:45,181
They can hang you!
1908
01:46:45,181 --> 01:46:48,750
I hardly think they'’ll do that,
not to good old Aarfy.
1909
01:46:48,750 --> 01:46:50,142
I don'’t think
they'’d make such a fuss
1910
01:46:50,142 --> 01:46:51,709
over one Italian girl
1911
01:46:51,709 --> 01:46:54,016
when thousands of lives
are being lost every day.
1912
01:46:54,016 --> 01:46:55,974
Aarfy, listen,
they'’re coming for you.
1913
01:46:55,974 --> 01:46:58,063
They'’re coming to arrest you.[ footsteps ascending stairs ]
1914
01:46:58,063 --> 01:46:59,674
You can'’t take the life
of another human being
1915
01:46:59,674 --> 01:47:01,197
and get away with it,
don'’t you understand?
1916
01:47:01,197 --> 01:47:03,242
They'’re coming to get you!
1917
01:47:03,242 --> 01:47:05,070
[ footsteps approaching ]
1918
01:47:16,038 --> 01:47:17,518
Captain Yossarian?
1919
01:47:17,518 --> 01:47:18,867
Yes.
1920
01:47:18,867 --> 01:47:20,216
You'’re under arrest.
1921
01:47:20,216 --> 01:47:22,087
But I didn'’t--
1922
01:47:22,087 --> 01:47:23,480
You'’re AWOL.
1923
01:47:24,829 --> 01:47:26,918
[ distant sirens blaring ]
1924
01:47:30,356 --> 01:47:32,315
CATHCART:
We'’re sending you home.
1925
01:47:32,315 --> 01:47:33,621
YOSSARIAN:
What?
1926
01:47:33,621 --> 01:47:35,971
I said we'’re
sending you home.
1927
01:47:35,971 --> 01:47:37,886
KORN:
You know, Yossarian,
you really have been
1928
01:47:37,886 --> 01:47:41,629
making things terribly
difficult for Colonel Cathcart.
1929
01:47:41,629 --> 01:47:43,935
The men are unhappy.
1930
01:47:43,935 --> 01:47:45,676
Morale is beginning
to deteriorate.
1931
01:47:45,676 --> 01:47:47,461
It'’s all your fault.
1932
01:47:47,461 --> 01:47:49,724
It'’s his fault for raising
the number of missions.
1933
01:47:49,724 --> 01:47:51,856
KORN:
No. It'’s your fault
for refusing to fly them.
1934
01:47:51,856 --> 01:47:53,815
CATHCART:
Haven'’t you got any patriotism?
1935
01:47:53,815 --> 01:47:55,730
Wouldn'’t you give
your life for your country?
1936
01:47:55,730 --> 01:47:58,515
Wouldn'’t you give your life
for Colonel Korn and me?
1937
01:47:58,515 --> 01:48:00,735
What have you and Colonel Korn
got to do with my country?
1938
01:48:00,735 --> 01:48:02,040
You'’re not the same thing.
1939
01:48:02,040 --> 01:48:04,565
You'’re a disgrace
to your country.
1940
01:48:04,565 --> 01:48:06,480
I'’d like to know how you got
to be a captain, anyway.
1941
01:48:06,480 --> 01:48:08,220
You promoted me.
1942
01:48:08,220 --> 01:48:10,353
That has got nothing
to do with it!
1943
01:48:10,353 --> 01:48:13,399
Let me. Let me.
1944
01:48:13,399 --> 01:48:16,098
Captain, I'’d like to appeal
1945
01:48:16,098 --> 01:48:19,057
to your better judgment
one more time.
1946
01:48:19,057 --> 01:48:20,755
There'’s a mission
about to start.
1947
01:48:20,755 --> 01:48:23,801
Now, you can get your gear
and get on that plane,
1948
01:48:23,801 --> 01:48:27,588
and we'’ll just pretend
all of this never happened.
1949
01:48:27,588 --> 01:48:31,243
Yossarian, wouldn'’t it
make you feel proud
1950
01:48:31,243 --> 01:48:33,768
to know that you
served in an outfit
1951
01:48:33,768 --> 01:48:35,770
that averaged more
combat missions per person
1952
01:48:35,770 --> 01:48:37,162
than any other?
1953
01:48:37,162 --> 01:48:40,122
Don'’t you want to earn
more unit citations
1954
01:48:40,122 --> 01:48:42,994
and more oak leaf clusters
on your air medal?
1955
01:48:42,994 --> 01:48:45,170
Don'’t you want
to contribute further
1956
01:48:45,170 --> 01:48:48,217
to this fleet record
by flying more missions?
1957
01:48:48,217 --> 01:48:49,566
No.
1958
01:48:51,481 --> 01:48:53,352
KORN:
In that case,
1959
01:48:53,352 --> 01:48:56,573
we'’ll just have
to send you home.
1960
01:48:56,573 --> 01:48:58,444
Of course,
there'’s one catch.
1961
01:49:00,403 --> 01:49:02,666
Oh, yeah?
What'’s that?
1962
01:49:02,666 --> 01:49:08,193
Well, we will issue orders
sending you back to the States,
1963
01:49:08,193 --> 01:49:13,111
and there'’s one thing you'’ll
have to do for us in return.
1964
01:49:13,111 --> 01:49:14,722
What would that be?
1965
01:49:23,600 --> 01:49:24,862
Like us.
1966
01:49:41,879 --> 01:49:43,359
Like you?
1967
01:49:46,797 --> 01:49:48,190
Like us.
1968
01:49:48,190 --> 01:49:50,496
You'’ll be surprised
how easy it is
1969
01:49:50,496 --> 01:49:52,368
to like us once you begin.
1970
01:49:52,368 --> 01:49:53,935
You see, Yossarian,
1971
01:49:53,935 --> 01:49:55,763
we'’re going to put you
on easy street.
1972
01:49:55,763 --> 01:49:57,591
CATHCART:
We'’re going to promote you
to major.
1973
01:49:57,591 --> 01:49:59,114
KORN:
Gonna give you another medal.
1974
01:49:59,114 --> 01:50:00,419
CATHCART:
Gonna glorify your exploits,
1975
01:50:00,419 --> 01:50:02,160
send you home a hero.
1976
01:50:02,160 --> 01:50:03,727
KORN:
You'’ll have parades
in your honor.
1977
01:50:03,727 --> 01:50:05,120
CATHCART:
You can make speeches,
1978
01:50:05,120 --> 01:50:06,904
raise money for war bonds.
1979
01:50:06,904 --> 01:50:10,778
KORN:
And all you have to do
is be our pal.
1980
01:50:10,778 --> 01:50:13,084
CATHCART:
Say nice things about us.
1981
01:50:13,084 --> 01:50:15,304
KORN:
Tell the folks at home
what a good job we'’re doing.
1982
01:50:21,615 --> 01:50:23,268
Take our offer,
Yossarian.
1983
01:50:23,268 --> 01:50:24,879
CATHCART:
It'’s either that,
1984
01:50:24,879 --> 01:50:26,881
or a court-martial
for desertion.
1985
01:50:35,672 --> 01:50:37,413
What about the other men
in the squadron?
1986
01:50:37,413 --> 01:50:40,285
I'’d be playing a pretty
dirty trick on them, wouldn'’t I?
1987
01:50:40,285 --> 01:50:42,287
KORN:
They'’ll be happier
when you'’re gone.
1988
01:50:42,287 --> 01:50:43,637
They won'’t even
think about you.
1989
01:50:43,637 --> 01:50:44,942
They have
a war to win.
1990
01:50:51,340 --> 01:50:52,994
Well, what the hell.
1991
01:50:52,994 --> 01:50:54,517
If they don'’t want to fly
any more missions,
1992
01:50:54,517 --> 01:50:56,301
let them stand up
and say so like I did.
1993
01:50:56,301 --> 01:50:57,825
Precisely!
1994
01:50:57,825 --> 01:50:59,391
Exactly.
1995
01:51:03,439 --> 01:51:05,093
It'’s a deal.
1996
01:51:17,540 --> 01:51:20,021
[ rake scrapes ]
1997
01:51:44,045 --> 01:51:45,307
[ woman shouts in Italian ]
1998
01:51:45,307 --> 01:51:46,700
[ gasps ]
1999
01:51:58,799 --> 01:51:59,930
Help.
2000
01:52:13,030 --> 01:52:15,511
[ wind gusting ]
2001
01:52:23,693 --> 01:52:25,390
PILOT:
Help him.
2002
01:52:25,390 --> 01:52:26,783
What?
2003
01:52:26,783 --> 01:52:28,132
Help him! Help him!
2004
01:52:28,132 --> 01:52:29,394
Help who?
2005
01:52:29,394 --> 01:52:30,874
Help the bombardier!
2006
01:52:30,874 --> 01:52:32,920
I'’m the bombardier.
I'’m all right.
2007
01:52:32,920 --> 01:52:34,835
Then help him! Help him!
2008
01:52:47,978 --> 01:52:51,460
Cold. I'’m cold.
2009
01:52:53,375 --> 01:52:56,247
It'’s going to be
okay, kid.
2010
01:52:56,247 --> 01:52:58,032
We'’ll be home soon.
2011
01:53:09,695 --> 01:53:11,480
Does the leg still hurt?
2012
01:53:11,480 --> 01:53:12,873
No.
2013
01:53:43,555 --> 01:53:44,861
There, there.
2014
01:53:53,391 --> 01:53:55,176
There, there.
2015
01:53:58,309 --> 01:53:59,833
There, there.
2016
01:54:13,672 --> 01:54:16,240
[ marching band plays ]
2017
01:54:25,032 --> 01:54:26,598
[ knock on door ]
2018
01:54:28,035 --> 01:54:30,254
May we come in?
Sure.
2019
01:54:30,254 --> 01:54:31,908
I see you'’re all alone.Yep.
2020
01:54:33,823 --> 01:54:35,738
Well, you'’re
going home.
2021
01:54:37,827 --> 01:54:39,568
I don'’t know if I am.
2022
01:54:39,568 --> 01:54:42,701
Oh, sure you are. I'’ve got
your orders right here.
2023
01:54:42,701 --> 01:54:44,660
That parade they'’re
rehearsing is for you.
2024
01:54:44,660 --> 01:54:46,096
You'’re a hero.
2025
01:54:46,096 --> 01:54:47,663
And you'’re gonna
get a medal
2026
01:54:47,663 --> 01:54:49,708
for stopping that Nazi
from killing Cathcart.
2027
01:54:51,449 --> 01:54:55,192
That wasn'’t a Nazi.
That was Nately'’s whore.
2028
01:54:55,192 --> 01:54:57,934
She tried to kill me because
I told her about Nately.
2029
01:55:01,024 --> 01:55:04,201
But the colonel
said that--
2030
01:55:04,201 --> 01:55:06,073
It'’s part of a deal
I made with them.
2031
01:55:06,073 --> 01:55:07,857
They send me home a hero,
2032
01:55:07,857 --> 01:55:09,772
and I say wonderful things
about them back in the States.
2033
01:55:16,344 --> 01:55:17,911
Oh.
2034
01:55:20,478 --> 01:55:22,437
That'’s a lousy deal,
isn'’t it?
2035
01:55:24,569 --> 01:55:26,484
Isn'’t it?
2036
01:55:26,484 --> 01:55:27,833
Well...
2037
01:55:30,836 --> 01:55:32,316
Isn'’t it?
2038
01:55:34,536 --> 01:55:37,626
I don'’t know. I'’m--
I'’m not here to judge you.
2039
01:55:37,626 --> 01:55:39,410
What are you here for?
2040
01:55:41,456 --> 01:55:43,110
I'’m not too sure
about that either.
2041
01:55:45,851 --> 01:55:47,288
What would you do
if you were me?
2042
01:55:50,204 --> 01:55:51,466
I don'’t know.
2043
01:55:51,466 --> 01:55:53,511
I mean, I'’m not you.
2044
01:55:55,470 --> 01:55:57,428
Imagine that you are me.
2045
01:56:00,431 --> 01:56:02,129
Well, that'’s hard.
2046
01:56:02,129 --> 01:56:03,913
Sometimes I even
have trouble
2047
01:56:03,913 --> 01:56:05,741
imagining
that I'’m me,
2048
01:56:05,741 --> 01:56:07,308
if you know
what I mean.
2049
01:56:11,660 --> 01:56:13,749
Well, I'’m gonna
call the deal off.
2050
01:56:13,749 --> 01:56:15,229
If they want to send me home,
let them do it
2051
01:56:15,229 --> 01:56:16,621
because I'’ve flown
over 50 missions,
2052
01:56:16,621 --> 01:56:18,058
not because I'’m a stubborn
son of a bitch.
2053
01:56:18,058 --> 01:56:19,624
They can'’t do that.
2054
01:56:19,624 --> 01:56:21,322
They'’d have to send home
every man in the outfit.
2055
01:56:21,322 --> 01:56:22,976
That'’s their problem.No. That'’s your problem,
2056
01:56:22,976 --> 01:56:25,282
because they'’ll
court-martial you.
2057
01:56:25,282 --> 01:56:26,805
I'’m afraid you'’re gonna
have to make the best
2058
01:56:26,805 --> 01:56:28,416
of a bad situation.
No.
2059
01:56:28,416 --> 01:56:30,157
No what?
2060
01:56:33,116 --> 01:56:35,031
Listen, I'’ve been lying
in this bed for three weeks now
2061
01:56:35,031 --> 01:56:38,600
thinking about it,
and all I know
2062
01:56:38,600 --> 01:56:40,645
is that I don'’t
want to go to prison,
2063
01:56:40,645 --> 01:56:42,604
and I can'’t play
Cathcart'’s games.
2064
01:56:44,736 --> 01:56:46,825
Well...
2065
01:56:46,825 --> 01:56:48,566
what else can you do?
2066
01:56:48,566 --> 01:56:50,177
I can run away.
2067
01:56:52,483 --> 01:56:54,529
You'’ll desert?
Why not?
2068
01:56:54,529 --> 01:56:56,313
How would you ever
get off the base?
2069
01:56:56,313 --> 01:56:58,054
That'’s insane.Sure, it is.
2070
01:56:58,054 --> 01:57:00,056
That'’s why it'’s the only
sensible thing for me to do.
2071
01:57:00,056 --> 01:57:02,319
Yossarian,
they'’ll call you a coward.
2072
01:57:02,319 --> 01:57:04,234
It'’s your country.Oh, Christ.
2073
01:57:04,234 --> 01:57:06,062
I'’ve flown 55 missions.
2074
01:57:06,062 --> 01:57:07,890
I'’ve been fighting for
my country for three years.
2075
01:57:07,890 --> 01:57:09,326
Now I'’m gonna start
fighting for myself.
2076
01:57:09,326 --> 01:57:10,806
Suppose everyone
felt that way?
2077
01:57:10,806 --> 01:57:12,634
Then I'’d be a damn fool
to feel any different.
2078
01:57:12,634 --> 01:57:14,505
But what would
your friends say?
2079
01:57:16,551 --> 01:57:17,987
I haven'’t got any.
2080
01:57:17,987 --> 01:57:20,511
Nately was blown
to bits.
2081
01:57:20,511 --> 01:57:22,861
McWatt killed
himself.
2082
01:57:22,861 --> 01:57:24,863
Hungry Joe'’s
chopped in two.
2083
01:57:24,863 --> 01:57:26,648
Dobbs disappeared.
2084
01:57:27,823 --> 01:57:29,216
Aardvark'’s a murderer.
2085
01:57:30,565 --> 01:57:32,219
Doc Daneeka'’s
a zombie.
2086
01:57:35,004 --> 01:57:36,527
They'’re all gone.
2087
01:57:37,876 --> 01:57:39,530
The only friend
I had was Snowden,
2088
01:57:39,530 --> 01:57:41,445
and I didn'’t
even know him.
2089
01:57:41,445 --> 01:57:43,491
What about Orr?
2090
01:57:43,491 --> 01:57:45,058
Orr'’s at the bottom
of the sea.
2091
01:57:45,058 --> 01:57:46,450
A fish ate him.
2092
01:57:46,450 --> 01:57:49,062
No, he isn'’t.
Don'’t you know?
2093
01:57:49,062 --> 01:57:51,107
Know what?Orr'’s in Sweden.
2094
01:57:51,107 --> 01:57:53,588
What?[ laughs ]
2095
01:57:53,588 --> 01:57:54,893
After 16 weeks at sea,
2096
01:57:54,893 --> 01:57:56,460
Captain Orr
was found washed ashore
2097
01:57:56,460 --> 01:57:57,983
by a trio of
Swedish Girl Scouts.
2098
01:57:57,983 --> 01:57:59,376
It'’s a miracle.
2099
01:57:59,376 --> 01:58:00,638
Apparently he rowed
all the way.
2100
01:58:00,638 --> 01:58:02,075
He rowed?
2101
01:58:02,075 --> 01:58:03,380
Yeah, in that tiny,
little raft!
2102
01:58:03,380 --> 01:58:04,773
To Sweden?
2103
01:58:04,773 --> 01:58:06,340
All the way to Sweden?
2104
01:58:06,340 --> 01:58:07,645
He'’ll sit out
the rest of the war.
2105
01:58:07,645 --> 01:58:09,647
It'’s a miracle.
2106
01:58:09,647 --> 01:58:12,128
It'’s no miracle.
He has to have planned it.
2107
01:58:12,128 --> 01:58:14,087
You mean he went
to Sweden--
2108
01:58:14,087 --> 01:58:16,611
It'’s 4,000 miles away!
2109
01:58:16,611 --> 01:58:17,916
That'’s what he meant
when he said
2110
01:58:17,916 --> 01:58:19,962
that crash landing
was good practice?
2111
01:58:19,962 --> 01:58:21,398
He was planning it
all this time.
2112
01:58:21,398 --> 01:58:23,444
Practicing getting
shot down in the sea!
2113
01:58:23,444 --> 01:58:25,141
On every mission
that he flew.
2114
01:58:25,141 --> 01:58:26,534
[ both laugh ]
2115
01:58:26,534 --> 01:58:27,796
No, no, no.
2116
01:58:27,796 --> 01:58:28,927
That is a miracle.
2117
01:58:30,668 --> 01:58:32,453
Practicing getting shot.
2118
01:58:32,453 --> 01:58:34,150
[ all laugh ]
2119
01:58:35,978 --> 01:58:37,719
He made it!
2120
01:58:37,719 --> 01:58:39,764
[ cackles ]
2121
01:58:39,764 --> 01:58:41,375
He made it!
2122
01:58:43,551 --> 01:58:45,944
He made it!
2123
01:58:45,944 --> 01:58:48,643
That son of a bitch made it!
2124
01:58:48,643 --> 01:58:51,733
[ Marching band plays
"Stars and Stripes Forever" ]
2125
01:58:59,871 --> 01:59:02,178
Are you crazy?
Is he crazy?
2126
01:59:02,178 --> 01:59:04,311
If he made it,
so can I!
2127
01:59:04,311 --> 01:59:06,139
DANBY:
We'’ve got to stop him.
2128
01:59:06,139 --> 01:59:07,879
I can do it, Danby!
2129
01:59:07,879 --> 01:59:09,533
They'’ll catch you.
They'’ll bring you back.
2130
01:59:09,533 --> 01:59:11,753
I can do it.This is insane!
2131
01:59:11,753 --> 01:59:14,364
I can do it.What about your clothes?
2132
01:59:14,364 --> 01:59:16,584
They'’ll never recognize me
without my uniform.
2133
01:59:16,584 --> 01:59:18,238
You'’ll be on the run
with no friends.
2134
01:59:18,238 --> 01:59:20,327
You'’ll live in constant
danger of betrayal.
2135
01:59:20,327 --> 01:59:21,589
[ laughs ]
2136
01:59:21,589 --> 01:59:22,851
I live that way now.
2137
01:59:22,851 --> 01:59:25,201
Yossarian, for
God'’s sake, hurry up!
2138
01:59:25,201 --> 01:59:26,463
So long, Chaplain.
2139
01:59:26,463 --> 01:59:27,899
How do you feel,
Yossarian?
2140
01:59:27,899 --> 01:59:29,336
Fine.
2141
01:59:29,336 --> 01:59:31,164
Except I'’m scared to death.
2142
01:59:31,164 --> 01:59:33,209
You'’ll have to keep on
your toes every minute.
2143
01:59:33,209 --> 01:59:34,471
I'’ll keep on my toes.
2144
01:59:34,471 --> 01:59:35,733
You'’ll have to jump.
2145
01:59:35,733 --> 01:59:37,518
I'’ll jump.Jump!
2146
01:59:37,518 --> 01:59:40,390
[ band plays ]
138966
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