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1
00:00:02,290 --> 00:00:05,330
- [METAL CLANGING]
- [BROCK SAMSON YELLING]
2
00:00:11,710 --> 00:00:15,130
HANK: Brock, no!
Why'd you kill the Mayhem Mobile?
3
00:00:15,260 --> 00:00:17,380
Adrienne!
4
00:00:17,510 --> 00:00:18,970
Her name was Adrienne.
5
00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:20,140
And it was her or me.
6
00:00:20,260 --> 00:00:22,350
I thought you called her Danger Hawk?
7
00:00:22,470 --> 00:00:23,720
Well, I call it a mess.
8
00:00:23,850 --> 00:00:25,350
You are gonna clean this up,
aren't you?
9
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:27,270
Everyone just--
10
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,440
just give me a minute.
11
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:30,650
I need to think.
12
00:00:30,770 --> 00:00:32,360
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
13
00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:33,480
Brock?
14
00:00:33,610 --> 00:00:35,530
Give him time, boy.
Thinking's new to him.
15
00:00:35,650 --> 00:00:38,030
Okay, okay, here's what's gonna happen.
16
00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:40,570
I want all of you dressed
and on that plane in two minutes.
17
00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:42,410
- Why, what's going on?
- I just got into my PJs.
18
00:00:42,540 --> 00:00:43,950
I'll explain later.
19
00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:45,910
H.E.L.P.eR., prep the X-1 for take off.
20
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:47,660
[WHIRRING]
21
00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:50,500
Oh, what the hell's
the matter with him now?
22
00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:51,880
DEAN:
I think he thinks he's next.
23
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,920
He often speaks
of the coming war between man
24
00:00:54,050 --> 00:00:56,340
and the brotherhood of machines.
25
00:00:59,970 --> 00:01:01,350
[BEEP BEEP BEEP]
26
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:03,560
Okay, okay.
27
00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:05,390
H.E.L.P.eR.,
I want you to go plot a course
28
00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:06,890
for Spider Skull Island.
29
00:01:07,020 --> 00:01:09,650
Oh, my brother's place?
30
00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,690
Doc, if what I think is going down,
31
00:01:11,820 --> 00:01:13,980
I gotta get you guys some place safe.
32
00:01:14,110 --> 00:01:16,820
Dangerous men may already be
on their way here.
33
00:01:16,950 --> 00:01:18,900
So turn on the electric fence
and go to bed.
34
00:01:19,030 --> 00:01:20,740
Why are you suddenly so paranoid?
35
00:01:20,870 --> 00:01:23,660
People have been trying to kill me
since I could pee standing up.
36
00:01:23,790 --> 00:01:26,080
They're not coming for you.
37
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They're coming for me.
38
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:32,750
[HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING]
39
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:34,590
Oh God, they're here already.
40
00:01:34,710 --> 00:01:36,460
Everybody take cover!
41
00:01:39,970 --> 00:01:41,760
Car trouble?
42
00:01:41,890 --> 00:01:43,680
[UP-TEMPO BEAT]
43
00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:13,420
MONARCH: We are going
to storm the Venture compound!
44
00:02:13,540 --> 00:02:15,960
I'm not stopping.
You should have thought of that before.
45
00:02:16,090 --> 00:02:17,500
I didn't have to pee then.
46
00:02:17,630 --> 00:02:19,760
Ugh! Here. Pee in this.
47
00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:21,970
Come on!
There's still drink in this!
48
00:02:22,090 --> 00:02:23,390
Please just pull over.
49
00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:25,800
There's a gas station coming up.
I could pull over.
50
00:02:25,930 --> 00:02:29,310
Sweet, I could go for a slushie.
But I have to change first.
51
00:02:29,430 --> 00:02:30,770
Yeah, I wanna change too.
52
00:02:30,890 --> 00:02:32,480
They always ask us what band we play in
53
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:34,060
when we wear these things in public.
54
00:02:34,190 --> 00:02:35,310
We're storming!
55
00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:36,980
We're not driving to Grandma's house.
56
00:02:37,110 --> 00:02:38,070
Pee in the cup!
57
00:02:38,190 --> 00:02:40,490
Man! Okay, jeez. Alright, no looking.
58
00:02:40,610 --> 00:02:43,070
Look at it? I don't even
want to think about it.
59
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,160
I hate my henchmen.
60
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:46,580
This was your idea.
I wanted to take the Cocoon.
61
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,740
That's just what Venture expects us to do.
62
00:02:48,870 --> 00:02:50,500
But he won't expect this.
63
00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:52,080
You and your two best men,
64
00:02:52,210 --> 00:02:53,920
me and my... men.
65
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,500
We keep it slim! Elite forces.
66
00:02:56,630 --> 00:02:57,790
Great idea.
67
00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:01,300
One of your "elite forces" is
playing Tetris on his cell phone...
68
00:03:01,420 --> 00:03:04,340
while the other is peeing
into a Grande Chai Latte.
69
00:03:04,470 --> 00:03:05,430
My God I wish.
70
00:03:05,550 --> 00:03:07,600
It's like there's a vice
on my wing-ding!
71
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:11,100
You guys gotta stop talking
so I can get into the zone.
72
00:03:11,230 --> 00:03:14,270
What? Son of a bitch! Sergeant Hatred?
73
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,310
Is he heading for the-- No! No!
74
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:19,320
If that wash-up thinks he's going
to ruin this night for me--
75
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:20,480
Honey!
76
00:03:20,610 --> 00:03:22,610
Make the Monarch Mobile go faster!
77
00:03:22,740 --> 00:03:24,320
BROCK:
Uh, look, honey,
78
00:03:24,450 --> 00:03:26,530
I'd love to stay
and catch up with you,
79
00:03:26,660 --> 00:03:30,370
but I'm pretty damn sure the O.S.I.
are on their way to terminate me.
80
00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:31,660
And the last I checked,
81
00:03:31,790 --> 00:03:33,750
you weren't exactly on their "it list" either.
82
00:03:33,870 --> 00:03:34,870
MOLOTOV:
The O.S.I.?
83
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,880
Oh ho ho, darling,
84
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,250
who do you think asked me to kill you?
85
00:03:41,010 --> 00:03:42,800
BROCK:
Uh oh, I think you got 'em mad.
86
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:44,550
Don't get cute, Samson.
87
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,220
Release me, or my Blackhearts
will cut you to ribbons.
88
00:03:47,350 --> 00:03:48,510
Oh, are they with you?
89
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,180
Hah!
90
00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:52,220
I never said I took the assignment.
91
00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:55,060
What's the matter, baby?
You love me too darn much to kill me?
92
00:03:55,190 --> 00:03:58,230
Maybe I'm just too jealous to share you.
93
00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:02,030
Your O.S.I. has already
hired three other assassins --
94
00:04:02,150 --> 00:04:04,320
Heinrich Triggermensch,
95
00:04:04,450 --> 00:04:06,660
code name Herr Trigger.
96
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:09,740
Former member of
the East German Olympic biathlon team
97
00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:13,410
and current number one
on lnterpol's most wanted list.
98
00:04:13,540 --> 00:04:16,080
Killing is more than just a job for him...
99
00:04:16,210 --> 00:04:18,960
AGENT: Business or pleasure,
Mr. uh... Trigger?
100
00:04:19,090 --> 00:04:21,460
[SHUDDERS]
Ecstasy.
101
00:04:21,590 --> 00:04:24,590
MOLOTOV: Russell Sturgeon,
code name Go-Fish.
102
00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:26,090
Little is known about him,
103
00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:29,890
other than that he specializes
in maritime assassinations.
104
00:04:30,010 --> 00:04:32,810
AGENT: And how long will you
be staying, Mr. Sturgeon?
105
00:04:32,930 --> 00:04:36,390
Till I land me a 250-pounder.
106
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,730
MOLOTOV:
Jean-Claude Le Tueur.
107
00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:40,980
His ego won't permit him a code name.
108
00:04:41,110 --> 00:04:42,610
A bored, rich game hunter,
109
00:04:42,730 --> 00:04:45,150
he turned to human targets for sport.
110
00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:47,950
He is also an avid collector
of exotic weapons
111
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:52,280
and something called
"Silver Age" comic books.
112
00:04:52,410 --> 00:04:55,410
AGENT:
Anything to declare Mr. Le Tueur?
113
00:04:55,540 --> 00:04:56,960
Excelsior!
114
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:58,960
HUNTER:
She's telling the truth, boy-o.
115
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,290
Probably the first time
in her lying Commie life.
116
00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:03,090
My moles on the inside confirmed it --
117
00:05:03,210 --> 00:05:05,210
O.S.I.'s throwing you to the wolves.
118
00:05:05,340 --> 00:05:07,300
Welcome to my life,
Little Red Riding Hood.
119
00:05:07,430 --> 00:05:08,760
So, will you help me?
120
00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:10,800
Well, he he he...
121
00:05:10,930 --> 00:05:13,310
aren't you going to introduce me
to your friend?
122
00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:14,810
Piss off, you horrible buzzard!
123
00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:17,140
- Tsetse fly! Buzz!
- I'll only be a minute.
124
00:05:17,270 --> 00:05:19,230
Will you just wait out
in the X-1 with the boys?
125
00:05:19,350 --> 00:05:20,310
You came in the plane?
126
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,730
You call parking a supersonic
jet in front of a titty bar
127
00:05:22,860 --> 00:05:24,150
inconspicuous?
128
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,360
Who taught you how to be a spy,
fucking Gallagher?!
129
00:05:26,490 --> 00:05:27,820
MAN:
Hey, thunder thighs!
130
00:05:27,950 --> 00:05:29,490
You workin' or you gabbin' over there?
131
00:05:29,610 --> 00:05:32,280
Don't you bark at me, you junkyard dog!
132
00:05:32,410 --> 00:05:33,660
I'm trying to break the ice here!
133
00:05:33,790 --> 00:05:37,040
[ANGRY MUMBLING]
134
00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,580
[VEHICLE APPROACHES]
135
00:05:38,710 --> 00:05:42,170
Hits me in my throat
and he just lets it happen!
136
00:05:42,290 --> 00:05:44,170
He's supposed to be my bodyguard...
137
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,170
So what do you need, money?
138
00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:48,720
Nah. Still got the wad
you gave me last time.
139
00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:50,760
Good! Tip me!
140
00:05:50,890 --> 00:05:53,100
That's a passport,
driver's license and Discover card.
141
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,930
Your name is Jesus Tralfaz.
142
00:05:55,060 --> 00:05:56,430
You live in Pueblo, Colorado,
143
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:57,640
you sell aluminum siding,
144
00:05:57,770 --> 00:05:59,770
and you love The History Channel.
145
00:05:59,890 --> 00:06:02,940
Quick! Feel my tits! Do it!
146
00:06:03,060 --> 00:06:04,610
No touching the ladies!
147
00:06:04,730 --> 00:06:06,070
I can handle this one, Jimmy.
148
00:06:06,980 --> 00:06:08,360
That's a list of friendly contacts.
149
00:06:08,490 --> 00:06:11,200
All ex-O.S.I. who've gone
off the reservation like you.
150
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,530
BROCK:
I'm gonna need wheels...
151
00:06:12,660 --> 00:06:13,620
You can take mine.
152
00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:15,950
But you're not gonna like
lookin' for the keys.
153
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,200
[HENCHMAN 21 COUGHS, SPITS]
154
00:06:18,330 --> 00:06:21,960
Half the friggin' night looking for a way in
and the front door was unlocked.
155
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,380
That blows.
156
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:25,880
At least we now have
the septic system mapped out.
157
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,300
Alright! Cut the chatter, it's game time.
158
00:06:28,420 --> 00:06:29,880
You all know your roles.
159
00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:32,300
Huddle up. Huddle up!
160
00:06:32,430 --> 00:06:34,140
Okay review... Moppets?
161
00:06:34,260 --> 00:06:36,470
- We locate the Venture boys.
- And kill them.
162
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:37,600
MONARCH:
Subdue them.
163
00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,390
- Cut their bellies?
- Subdue their bellies-- Dr. My Wife?
164
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:41,600
Locate and seduce--
165
00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:43,060
Subdue! Come on!
166
00:06:43,190 --> 00:06:44,560
Subdue Brock Samson.
167
00:06:44,690 --> 00:06:45,730
MONARCH:
Henchman 24?
168
00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:47,980
Locate and subdue the Venture robot.
169
00:06:48,110 --> 00:06:50,240
MONARCH: Subdue?
You can kill the robot. It's a robot.
170
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:51,320
Henchman 21?
171
00:06:51,450 --> 00:06:52,360
What?
172
00:06:52,490 --> 00:06:55,160
Dude, I have to pee so bad
it's backing up into my kidneys.
173
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,240
Wrong! You keep an eye out
for Sergeant Hatred
174
00:06:57,370 --> 00:06:59,740
while I locate and subdue Dr. Venture.
175
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:02,580
Forget it.
You go to the bathroom.
176
00:07:02,710 --> 00:07:04,210
Alright Alpha team,
177
00:07:04,330 --> 00:07:06,210
we've trained for every aspect
of this maneuver--
178
00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:08,750
- Except for the electric fence.
- Except the fence...
179
00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,340
Which wouldn't have been
a problem if we took the Cocoon.
180
00:07:11,470 --> 00:07:14,430
[SIGHS]
Okay, let's write history.
181
00:07:14,550 --> 00:07:18,100
[HEAVY BREATHING]
182
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,100
Yah. Yah!
183
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,900
Go! Go! Get to your brother's!
184
00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:29,940
DOC: Okay, bye!
We'll call you when we land.
185
00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:32,190
BROCK:
No! Maintain radio silence.
186
00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:33,990
If you don't hear from me in 48 hours,
187
00:07:34,102 --> 00:07:35,652
get yourself a Yellow Pages
188
00:07:35,780 --> 00:07:37,030
and look up "bodyguard."
189
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,370
No, Brock! We won't go without you!
190
00:07:39,490 --> 00:07:41,790
You do what I tell you!
191
00:07:41,910 --> 00:07:44,920
The farther away from me you go
the safer you'll be.
192
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,040
But... we're a family!
193
00:07:47,170 --> 00:07:49,250
We stick together
through thick and thin.
194
00:07:49,380 --> 00:07:51,340
No. You guys are the family.
195
00:07:51,460 --> 00:07:53,630
I'm just a guy who was hired
to protect you.
196
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,720
But we, like, love each other.
197
00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:58,760
I don't love you, boys!
198
00:07:58,890 --> 00:08:01,180
It was a job. Nothing more.
199
00:08:01,310 --> 00:08:04,140
And now that it's over,
you'll only get in my way.
200
00:08:04,270 --> 00:08:06,980
Now get on that plane!
201
00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:12,110
[JET ENGINE IDLES, ACCELERATES]
202
00:08:19,450 --> 00:08:22,240
[RAPID GUNFIRE]
203
00:08:23,910 --> 00:08:25,660
[GUNFIRE CONTINUES]
204
00:08:29,630 --> 00:08:31,460
[BROCK SIGHS]
205
00:08:31,590 --> 00:08:33,300
HANK:
Boy, that was a close one!
206
00:08:33,420 --> 00:08:34,670
Hank?! What the--?!
207
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:36,760
Seriously, Brock. The Lassie trick?
208
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:38,340
What was I born yesterday?
209
00:08:38,470 --> 00:08:40,260
[RAPID GUNFIRE]
210
00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:44,140
[SNIFFS]
Yah!
211
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:45,770
Damn it, Hank!
212
00:08:45,890 --> 00:08:48,520
If we live through this,
I'm going to kill you myself.
213
00:08:48,650 --> 00:08:51,820
Nuh-uh. You don't have
a license to kill anymore! Ow!
214
00:08:51,940 --> 00:08:53,360
[TIRES SQUEAL]
215
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,900
[HORNS HONKING]
216
00:08:58,410 --> 00:08:59,490
[COMM LINK BEEPS]
217
00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:01,280
BROCK:
Doc! Doc!
218
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:04,540
DOC: Oh, well hello,
Mister "No Radio Contact."
219
00:09:04,660 --> 00:09:06,370
- DEAN: Hi, Brock!
- DOC: Miss us already?
220
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:08,580
BROCK: Take a look around
the cockpit, Doc.
221
00:09:08,710 --> 00:09:09,960
You forget something?
222
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:11,460
Eh... Travel Bingo?
223
00:09:11,590 --> 00:09:13,040
BROCK:
Try your son, Doc.
224
00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:15,380
- No, Dean's right h--
- BROCK: Hank, ass!
225
00:09:15,510 --> 00:09:17,380
Why is Hank sitting next to me?
226
00:09:17,510 --> 00:09:19,550
Well, the boy idolizes you.
You know that.
227
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:21,720
Listen to me! Turn the X-1 around.
228
00:09:21,850 --> 00:09:23,760
- You gotta come get Hank!
- Awww...
229
00:09:23,890 --> 00:09:26,060
Seatbelt. Now!
230
00:09:26,180 --> 00:09:27,680
You wanna end up like Gary Busey?
231
00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:30,020
There's that guy again.
232
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:33,230
I see him!
Okay, what can we throw at this jackass?
233
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:35,190
Let's see...
234
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:36,230
[RAPID GUNFIRE]
235
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,610
Oh Shit!
236
00:09:39,450 --> 00:09:41,870
Sorry! Sorry!
237
00:09:41,990 --> 00:09:43,450
[RAPID GUNFIRE]
238
00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:47,290
DOC:
Brock? I don't see you.
239
00:09:47,410 --> 00:09:49,250
Flick your high beams
on and off or something.
240
00:09:49,370 --> 00:09:52,000
- Ooh! Can I help?
- No, just... everybody shush!
241
00:10:00,050 --> 00:10:02,760
Oh, there you are. Thanks, Brock.
242
00:10:02,890 --> 00:10:04,180
HANK:
Didn't work.
243
00:10:04,310 --> 00:10:06,140
I know! I know make it stop!
244
00:10:06,270 --> 00:10:07,890
- Oh! Is it this one...?
- Hank, no!
245
00:10:08,020 --> 00:10:09,180
[SCREAMS]
246
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,850
[TIRES SQUEAL]
247
00:10:25,740 --> 00:10:26,950
HANK:
Ahh!
248
00:10:27,910 --> 00:10:30,160
[HERR TRIGGER SCREAMING]
249
00:10:42,590 --> 00:10:46,550
[GIDDY LAUGHTER]
250
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,310
Alright, we're gonna split up again
251
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:51,480
once I get us a safe distance away, oh--
252
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:52,850
Busey!
253
00:10:52,980 --> 00:10:56,110
But we won the car chase!
Unfair! Unfair!
254
00:10:56,230 --> 00:10:58,110
Starboard engine's dead.
255
00:10:58,230 --> 00:11:00,940
I gotta put her down fast!
256
00:11:01,070 --> 00:11:02,610
Damn it! Landing gear's gone!
257
00:11:02,740 --> 00:11:03,740
[BEEP BEEP]
258
00:11:05,780 --> 00:11:07,080
[GRUNTS]
259
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:11,000
[STRAINING]
260
00:11:22,130 --> 00:11:23,010
[BEEPS]
261
00:11:23,130 --> 00:11:25,840
[HORNS HONKING]
262
00:11:29,970 --> 00:11:33,230
[FADING BEEP]
263
00:11:33,350 --> 00:11:35,770
[MOANING]
264
00:11:42,530 --> 00:11:44,070
Ha!
265
00:11:48,910 --> 00:11:51,490
Time to subdue. Ugh!
266
00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:53,330
Gotcha ya mother fuckin'...
267
00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:55,210
[MUTTERING]
268
00:11:55,330 --> 00:11:56,790
[PANTING]
269
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,960
What would a teenager be doing
with a stuffed animal?
270
00:12:00,090 --> 00:12:02,510
- I know what I did with them.
- Me, too.
271
00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:04,050
Ugh, I can't believe
I touched it.
272
00:12:04,180 --> 00:12:06,510
A-ha-ha!
273
00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:11,770
[SIGHS]
274
00:12:17,350 --> 00:12:19,230
Ngh.
275
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,360
Wake up, sexy.
276
00:12:22,990 --> 00:12:24,820
Ha!
277
00:12:24,950 --> 00:12:27,240
Die, Doctor-- Oh, come on!
278
00:12:29,740 --> 00:12:31,660
HATRED:
Bust it down, why don't ya?
279
00:12:31,790 --> 00:12:32,910
Oh dude, sorry...
280
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:33,950
It's occupado!
281
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,080
I thought it was stuck. Wait...
282
00:12:36,210 --> 00:12:39,580
Alpha Team, we have a 27-6
in the master bedroom, over.
283
00:12:39,710 --> 00:12:40,960
HENCHMAN 24:
Yeah, hi.
284
00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:43,170
I have no idea what
those numbers mean.
285
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:44,380
Just get up here!
286
00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:48,720
Where the fuck are you!?
287
00:12:50,220 --> 00:12:51,300
DOC:
So who is this guy?
288
00:12:51,430 --> 00:12:52,760
BROCK:
Old O.S.I. buddy of mine.
289
00:12:52,890 --> 00:12:55,270
Oh, good plan,
General Westmoron.
290
00:12:55,390 --> 00:12:58,310
Let's just hand ourselves over
to the guys who're trying to kill us.
291
00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,360
Me. They're trying to kill me.
292
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,150
And he's not with the agency anymore.
293
00:13:02,270 --> 00:13:05,440
He got kicked out a couple years ago
on a don't-ask-don't-tell beef.
294
00:13:05,570 --> 00:13:07,360
DEAN:
So we know he can keep a secret!
295
00:13:07,490 --> 00:13:09,280
Well well, well well well.
296
00:13:09,410 --> 00:13:10,780
Looky what the cat dragged in.
297
00:13:10,910 --> 00:13:12,620
Hey, Shore Leave.
298
00:13:12,740 --> 00:13:13,700
Long time no--
299
00:13:13,830 --> 00:13:14,740
Ah, no no-no-no!
300
00:13:14,870 --> 00:13:16,080
Not my handle anymore.
301
00:13:16,210 --> 00:13:19,250
These days I'm called "Holy Diver."
302
00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:22,290
Brock Samson, as I live and breathe!
303
00:13:22,420 --> 00:13:23,800
BROCK:
Hey! I remember you.
304
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:24,960
You're Mile High.
305
00:13:25,090 --> 00:13:28,050
Not anymore.
"Sky Pilot" is my call sign
306
00:13:28,180 --> 00:13:31,640
ever since Jesus slew
our demons of homosexuality.
307
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,140
- Oh, boy.
- That's great.
308
00:13:33,260 --> 00:13:34,970
So now you guys are--?
309
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:36,020
Partners!
310
00:13:36,140 --> 00:13:39,230
In the fastest growing youth ministry
in Southern California!
311
00:13:39,350 --> 00:13:42,650
Are you here to enroll these
fine young Christian soldiers
312
00:13:42,770 --> 00:13:44,820
in our Extreme Outreach Program?
313
00:13:44,940 --> 00:13:45,980
- HANK: Ew.
- DEAN: Hey, fun!
314
00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:48,150
Uh, no, I just wanna charter your boat
315
00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:50,360
to take these guys to Spider Skull Island
316
00:13:50,490 --> 00:13:53,780
while I deal with a, uh, sticky situation.
317
00:13:53,910 --> 00:13:55,580
Mm... no can do-do-do.
318
00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:57,160
We've got "Bible Dive" at noon.
319
00:13:57,290 --> 00:14:00,120
And "Parasailing Through Corinthians"
from two to three.
320
00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:01,170
BROCK:
Ah jeez.
321
00:14:01,290 --> 00:14:04,340
Look, can you at least
hook me up with some supplies?
322
00:14:04,460 --> 00:14:05,960
Couple pounds of C-4...
323
00:14:06,090 --> 00:14:07,840
- DIVER: No.
- BROCK: Trip wire...
324
00:14:07,970 --> 00:14:09,840
- BROCK: Maybe a spear gun...
- DIVER: No. And no.
325
00:14:09,970 --> 00:14:12,720
We're not in the killing
business anymore, Brock-Odile.
326
00:14:12,850 --> 00:14:14,350
We're in the saving business.
327
00:14:14,470 --> 00:14:18,520
But we have got the only weapon
you'll ever need, friend.
328
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,310
Let's go.
329
00:14:22,150 --> 00:14:24,060
[GRUNTS]
Ugh!
330
00:14:26,940 --> 00:14:28,610
[GROANS]
331
00:14:28,740 --> 00:14:29,650
Huh?
332
00:14:29,780 --> 00:14:31,910
What? Huh?
333
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:35,160
[GRUNTING]
334
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:36,200
Brock!
335
00:14:36,330 --> 00:14:39,450
Oh, that sinner just messed
with the wrong brothers!
336
00:14:39,580 --> 00:14:41,960
Because we're not just
Sky Pilot and Holy Diver,
337
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,290
mild-mannered Adventure
Bible School pastors...
338
00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:45,710
We're also...
339
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,710
BOTH:
The Soul Mates!
340
00:14:49,420 --> 00:14:50,550
Ha ha ha ha!
341
00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:55,220
You're all about to witness
a true miracle of faith.
342
00:14:55,350 --> 00:14:56,300
It it so good.
343
00:14:56,430 --> 00:14:58,680
PILOT:
Ephesians sequence ready!
344
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:01,390
Activate -- Boots of the gospel!
345
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,980
[KEYS CLACKING, BEEPING]
346
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:08,900
Initiate -- Loin-girding Codpiece of Truth!
347
00:15:09,030 --> 00:15:10,400
Um... is this gonna take long?
348
00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:13,110
Oh-ho! "Ye have need of patience,
349
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,990
that, after ye have done the will of God,
350
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,820
ye might receive the promise."
351
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:19,580
DIVER: Engage --
Breastplate of Righteousness!
352
00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:22,620
Ha ha ha. Mouthful of this bastard.
353
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:23,750
Ha ha, ha ha!
354
00:15:23,870 --> 00:15:26,960
[COUGHS, SPITS]
355
00:15:27,090 --> 00:15:28,750
You gotta be kidding me!
356
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,380
I think he's throwing
sharks at him now.
357
00:15:31,510 --> 00:15:34,260
Activate -- Helmet of Salvation!
358
00:15:34,390 --> 00:15:36,430
Ephesians sequence complete!
359
00:15:36,550 --> 00:15:37,550
Thank God.
360
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,060
Now for the Shield of Faith
and the Sword of Spirit
361
00:15:40,180 --> 00:15:41,430
to complete the ensemble!
362
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:42,600
Boom! Yummy!
363
00:15:42,730 --> 00:15:45,350
[STRUGGLING]
364
00:15:49,650 --> 00:15:51,860
More bait? Aww... Gyp!
365
00:15:51,990 --> 00:15:54,820
Alright! Let's kick trespass ass!
366
00:15:54,950 --> 00:15:57,910
Alright! Now we're gonna see
some head-bustin'!
367
00:15:58,030 --> 00:15:59,950
DIVER: Oh, Lord, give us
the strength in this dark hour...
368
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:00,990
What are you doing?
369
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,700
He's right there!
370
00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:04,250
Get him!
371
00:16:04,370 --> 00:16:05,330
Where is Brock?
372
00:16:05,460 --> 00:16:07,630
[DIVER CONTINUES PRAYING]
373
00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:09,290
He's gonna kill him!
374
00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:12,010
- Aren't you gonna do something?
- Excuse me! We are.
375
00:16:12,130 --> 00:16:14,590
The power of prayer
can move mountains, Hank.
376
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,430
This is worse than calling Orpheus.
377
00:16:16,550 --> 00:16:19,140
Ha ha ha! I've got you now.
378
00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:22,310
You're on the end of my line
and you're going nowhere.
379
00:16:22,430 --> 00:16:24,310
Ha ha ha ha!
380
00:16:25,940 --> 00:16:26,980
[SNEAKY LAUGHTER]
381
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:28,150
[SMOOCH]
382
00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:32,480
Ha ha ha ha
[GASPS]
383
00:16:35,990 --> 00:16:38,870
BROCK: "O God the lord,
the strength of my salvation,
384
00:16:38,990 --> 00:16:42,450
thou hast covered my head
in the day of battle."
385
00:16:42,580 --> 00:16:45,250
GIRLFRIEND: The Monarch and I
are taking your arch enemy.
386
00:16:45,370 --> 00:16:47,670
I cleared it with the Guild,
and Venture is ours.
387
00:16:47,790 --> 00:16:50,000
- Now if we could--
- She's leaving me.
388
00:16:50,130 --> 00:16:52,210
- What?
- Princess Tinyfeet.
389
00:16:52,340 --> 00:16:55,210
She, I, she's gonna pack up
her teepee and leave me.
390
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:56,840
I just know it.
391
00:16:56,970 --> 00:16:58,840
Did she say she was leaving you?
392
00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:01,680
I got this text.
393
00:17:01,810 --> 00:17:04,390
- That's a big cell phone.
- I'm a big boy.
394
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,310
"We need to talk." That's it?
395
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,850
I can't live without her!
396
00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:13,860
She is the sun to my... my lawn?
I don't know.
397
00:17:13,980 --> 00:17:15,320
Well, how do you know
398
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,150
that's what she wants
to talk about?
399
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:18,320
You're a woman...
400
00:17:18,450 --> 00:17:20,530
I mean, you are a woman, right?
401
00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:21,870
I'm gonna ignore that.
402
00:17:21,990 --> 00:17:23,830
Well, you think it's something else?
403
00:17:24,370 --> 00:17:25,750
No.
404
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:29,460
"We need to talk" is kinda universal
for "I'm leaving you".
405
00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:30,920
It's the butter-up part.
406
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:32,880
Ah! She's buttering me!
407
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,050
I don't want to live anymore!
408
00:17:36,170 --> 00:17:41,140
I'm not leaving till my arch enemy
comes home and kills me.
409
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,810
[GRUNTING]
410
00:17:46,930 --> 00:17:50,940
Ahhhh, alright.
411
00:17:51,860 --> 00:17:54,070
Get that door shut and settle in!
412
00:17:55,190 --> 00:17:57,690
Okay, we're gonna lay low here
for a day or so.
413
00:17:57,820 --> 00:17:59,570
Grab some Z's while you can
414
00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:01,570
until I scare up a ride outta here.
415
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:02,620
[SNIFF SNIFF]
416
00:18:02,740 --> 00:18:04,280
Ugh. I could use a shower.
417
00:18:04,410 --> 00:18:05,370
I call dibs!
418
00:18:05,490 --> 00:18:06,490
Uh!
419
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:07,950
Why can't I get rid of you?
420
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:10,500
Fine. I'm goin' out for supplies.
421
00:18:10,620 --> 00:18:12,500
Boys, stay in the room
422
00:18:12,630 --> 00:18:14,250
and don't open that door for anyone.
423
00:18:14,380 --> 00:18:15,290
DOC:
Oh, Brock?
424
00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:18,130
Can you get me some conditioner
while you're out?
425
00:18:18,260 --> 00:18:19,420
My beard.
426
00:18:19,550 --> 00:18:20,590
I use it-- It's for my beard.
427
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,890
Here's what I've gleaned.
428
00:18:24,010 --> 00:18:27,100
Hatred won't leave
until Dr. Venture comes and kills him.
429
00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:28,600
He said, and I quote:
430
00:18:28,730 --> 00:18:30,770
"I, like Patty Smythe before me,
431
00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:32,100
am a warrior
432
00:18:32,230 --> 00:18:34,110
and will die at the hand
of my arch enemy."
433
00:18:34,230 --> 00:18:35,770
Well he's gonna be
in there for a while.
434
00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:36,940
They took the jet.
435
00:18:37,070 --> 00:18:38,780
Come on! We have to go.
436
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:39,990
GIRLFRIEND:
Just a minute!
437
00:18:40,110 --> 00:18:42,280
Can you guys at least talk
in the closet or something!
438
00:18:42,410 --> 00:18:44,320
Cause I still have to tinkle wicked bad!
439
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:45,530
You haven't peed yet?
440
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:46,910
What are you a camel?
441
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:48,580
Honey, this could go all night.
442
00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:51,000
I'm going back for the Cocoon.
443
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:53,460
GIRLFRIEND:
I'm not gonna say I told you so!
444
00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:55,420
Ah!
445
00:18:56,250 --> 00:18:58,460
Little me time.
446
00:18:58,590 --> 00:19:00,970
TV ANNOUNCER:
We now return to...
447
00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:03,630
"Mummy Incorporated."
448
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,350
HANK:
Holy cow, I think I'm in love!
449
00:19:09,470 --> 00:19:11,640
- With that towel!
- Oh, you like zis?
450
00:19:11,770 --> 00:19:12,980
It is ze Batman.
451
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:14,690
'E is my all-time favorite comic.
452
00:19:14,810 --> 00:19:17,190
Dude, you are almost
speaking my language!
453
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:20,030
Ah, oui oui oui
when I am your age in Paree,
454
00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:23,110
at night I would go up to, uh, on ze eh,
455
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,360
on ze, ze rooftop? Eh?
456
00:19:24,490 --> 00:19:27,990
And I imagine zat I am ze Batman.
So cool...
457
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:29,080
Well, when I was my age,
458
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:32,040
I jumped off my roof
in-in a Batman costume.
459
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,170
I think. I might've just dreamt it.
460
00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:36,630
You are to see ze uh, ze Batman ride
461
00:19:36,750 --> 00:19:39,000
at a ze Magic Mountain
while you are in town?
462
00:19:39,130 --> 00:19:40,880
I hope to go after I finish
my work here...
463
00:19:41,010 --> 00:19:43,630
Really? What sorta line are you in?
464
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:46,050
Hank! Get away from that guy!
465
00:19:46,180 --> 00:19:47,720
Brock Samson...
466
00:19:47,850 --> 00:19:49,970
Le Tueur!
467
00:19:57,690 --> 00:19:59,230
Hank! Are you okay?
Did he hurt you?
468
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:00,520
No, he's cool, Brock.
469
00:20:00,650 --> 00:20:02,530
We're gonna go
to Comic Con together!
470
00:20:02,650 --> 00:20:03,900
Samson!
471
00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:08,530
Cool! He's got a batterang!
472
00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:10,280
Ow!
473
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:13,830
Hey!
474
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,790
[DEAN SCREAMING]
475
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,420
You cut off your hair.
476
00:20:17,540 --> 00:20:18,460
Why do you do zis?
477
00:20:18,590 --> 00:20:20,130
You had such a cool look...
478
00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:21,170
[BROCK CHOKING]
479
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:24,420
"The only weapon
you'll ever need, friend!"
480
00:20:24,550 --> 00:20:26,380
[BOTH GRUNT]
481
00:20:26,510 --> 00:20:29,850
DOC: Boys!
You're ruining Daddy's ambiance.
482
00:20:29,970 --> 00:20:31,850
Let's keep that TV below three!
483
00:20:31,970 --> 00:20:34,230
[GROANING]
484
00:20:34,350 --> 00:20:37,400
I'm a great admirer
of your work, Monsieur Samson.
485
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:38,900
It is an honor to do battle with you.
486
00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:40,520
Oh, don't start that crap.
487
00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:43,650
This sword was forged
by Ikkansai Shigetsugu,
488
00:20:43,780 --> 00:20:46,780
Master Swordsmith
of the Nihonto Tanren Denshusho.
489
00:20:46,910 --> 00:20:48,780
Oh, man, shut up already.
490
00:20:48,910 --> 00:20:51,280
Why do you sword guys
always gotta talk
491
00:20:51,410 --> 00:20:53,740
about how cool your swords are?
492
00:20:53,870 --> 00:20:55,580
- Ow!
- Sorry, Hank.
493
00:20:55,710 --> 00:20:56,910
Boys! Clear out outta here!
494
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,460
You said to stay in the room. Ahh!
495
00:21:00,210 --> 00:21:01,880
[BOTH GRUNTING]
496
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,800
[LAUGHS]
497
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,720
- Check it out.
- Son of a bitch!
498
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:08,840
[THUD]
499
00:21:08,970 --> 00:21:11,220
This is why Daddy has
to drink to relax, boys.
500
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:13,970
Dean? Do we have a mini-bar out there?
501
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,980
You have been most
worthy prey, Monsieur Samson.
502
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:20,440
But now I must adieu.
503
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,400
Wait! Dude! What about Batman?
504
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:23,480
Quoi?
505
00:21:23,610 --> 00:21:25,820
You call yourself a Batman fan?
506
00:21:25,940 --> 00:21:27,610
He would never kill anybody.
507
00:21:27,740 --> 00:21:29,780
Seriously, ask yourself --
508
00:21:29,910 --> 00:21:31,820
what would Batman do?
509
00:21:31,950 --> 00:21:33,410
I have a confession, Hank.
510
00:21:33,540 --> 00:21:37,410
I only like ze Batman
because he has ze best villains.
511
00:21:37,540 --> 00:21:39,080
Eh ahhh!
512
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:44,130
[GROANS]
513
00:21:44,250 --> 00:21:45,710
DOC:
Finally.
514
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:46,880
Thank you.
515
00:21:48,090 --> 00:21:49,880
Good work, Hank.
516
00:21:50,010 --> 00:21:51,470
Eh, thank you, Dean.
517
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,050
And you wanted to get rid of us.
518
00:21:53,180 --> 00:21:55,850
Wanna make yourself
even more useful?
519
00:21:55,970 --> 00:21:59,190
Look up the number for a guy
called The Cleaner.
520
00:21:59,310 --> 00:22:04,480
Call him and tell him we've got
a Damien Hirst in room 202.
521
00:22:04,610 --> 00:22:06,690
DOC:
Ahhhh!
522
00:22:06,820 --> 00:22:08,360
[RETCHES]
523
00:22:08,490 --> 00:22:09,530
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
524
00:22:09,650 --> 00:22:11,160
That was fast.
525
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,160
L.A.P.D! Open up!
526
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:14,200
Hip!
527
00:22:14,330 --> 00:22:16,120
Freeze!
528
00:22:18,087 --> 00:22:20,714
[FADING BEEPS]
529
00:22:20,764 --> 00:22:25,314
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