All language subtitles for Shrek.2.2004.2160p.4K.WEB.x265.10bit.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX].srt

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:53,013 --> 00:00:57,517 Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, 2 00:00:57,601 --> 00:01:01,938 the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. 3 00:01:02,022 --> 00:01:05,150 And throughout the land, everyone was happy 4 00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,819 until the sun went down 5 00:01:07,903 --> 00:01:11,907 and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment 6 00:01:11,990 --> 00:01:15,035 that took hold each and every night. 7 00:01:16,661 --> 00:01:20,206 Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother 8 00:01:20,290 --> 00:01:23,335 who had them lock the young princess in a tower, 9 00:01:23,418 --> 00:01:27,130 there to await the kiss... of the handsome Prince Charming. 10 00:01:30,467 --> 00:01:33,345 It was he who would chance the perilous journey 11 00:01:33,428 --> 00:01:36,097 through blistering cold and scorching desert 12 00:01:36,181 --> 00:01:38,475 traveling for many days and nights, 13 00:01:38,558 --> 00:01:40,644 risking life and limb 14 00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:44,231 to reach the Dragon's keep. 15 00:01:48,568 --> 00:01:50,820 For he was the bravest 16 00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:53,907 and most handsome 17 00:01:56,660 --> 00:01:58,703 in all the land. 18 00:01:58,787 --> 00:02:01,414 And it was destiny that his kiss 19 00:02:02,499 --> 00:02:05,835 would break the dreaded curse. 20 00:02:06,419 --> 00:02:11,758 He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower 21 00:02:11,841 --> 00:02:16,304 to enter the princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, 22 00:02:16,388 --> 00:02:19,391 pull back the gossamer curtains to find her... 23 00:02:20,475 --> 00:02:21,643 What? 24 00:02:21,893 --> 00:02:25,355 - Princess Fiona? - No! 25 00:02:25,438 --> 00:02:28,483 Oh, thank heavens. Where is she? 26 00:02:28,567 --> 00:02:32,737 - She's on her honeymoon. - Honeymoon? With whom? 27 00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,841 It's so good to be home! 28 00:05:00,510 --> 00:05:02,637 Just you and me and... 29 00:05:06,516 --> 00:05:11,229 - Two can be as bad as one - Donkey? 30 00:05:11,313 --> 00:05:15,191 Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! 31 00:05:15,275 --> 00:05:18,653 Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. 32 00:05:18,737 --> 00:05:22,157 And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How about a side of sugar for the steed? 33 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,284 What are you doing here? 34 00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:26,369 Taking care of your love nest for you. 35 00:05:26,453 --> 00:05:30,707 You mean like... sorting the mail and watering the plants. 36 00:05:30,790 --> 00:05:33,835 - And feeding the fish! - I don't have any. 37 00:05:33,919 --> 00:05:37,005 You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. 38 00:05:37,088 --> 00:05:39,966 That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your... 39 00:05:40,050 --> 00:05:42,844 Look at the time. I guess you'd better be going. 40 00:05:42,928 --> 00:05:46,723 Don't you want to tell me about your trip? Or how about a game of Parcheesi? 41 00:05:46,806 --> 00:05:51,019 Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon? 42 00:05:51,102 --> 00:05:53,146 Oh, yeah, that. 43 00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:56,900 I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. 44 00:05:56,983 --> 00:05:58,652 I thought I'd move in with you. 45 00:05:58,735 --> 00:06:01,529 You know we're always happy to see you, Donkey. 46 00:06:01,613 --> 00:06:04,407 But Fiona and I are married now. 47 00:06:04,491 --> 00:06:07,661 We need a little time, you know, to be together. 48 00:06:09,913 --> 00:06:11,915 Just with each other. 49 00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:14,417 Alone. 50 00:06:14,501 --> 00:06:17,337 Say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. 51 00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:20,257 I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you. 52 00:06:20,340 --> 00:06:21,925 - Donkey! - Yes, roommie? 53 00:06:22,008 --> 00:06:24,427 You're bothering me. 54 00:06:24,511 --> 00:06:27,597 Oh, OK. All right, cool. I guess... 55 00:06:28,098 --> 00:06:32,978 Me and Pinocchio was going to catch a tournament, anyway. 56 00:06:33,061 --> 00:06:36,106 See y'all Sunday for a barbecue or something. 57 00:06:38,108 --> 00:06:42,279 He'll be fine. Now, where were we? 58 00:06:44,364 --> 00:06:46,366 I think I remember. 59 00:06:48,577 --> 00:06:49,744 Donkey! 60 00:06:49,828 --> 00:06:53,373 I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going. 61 00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:55,667 What do you want me to tell these guys? 62 00:07:06,803 --> 00:07:08,513 Enough, Reggie. 63 00:07:11,391 --> 00:07:14,311 "Dearest Princess Fiona. 64 00:07:14,394 --> 00:07:18,607 "You are hereby summoned to the Kingdom of Far, Far Away... 65 00:07:18,690 --> 00:07:23,320 "for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage... 66 00:07:23,403 --> 00:07:25,572 "at which time the King 67 00:07:25,655 --> 00:07:28,325 "will bestow his royal blessing... upon you 68 00:07:28,408 --> 00:07:30,660 "and your... 69 00:07:30,744 --> 00:07:32,913 "Prince Charming. 70 00:07:32,996 --> 00:07:37,626 "Love, the King and Queen of Far, Far Away. 71 00:07:37,709 --> 00:07:40,128 "aka Mom and Dad." 72 00:07:40,212 --> 00:07:41,588 Mom and Dad? 73 00:07:41,671 --> 00:07:44,966 - Prince Charming? - Royal ball? Can I come? 74 00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:46,927 - We're not going. - What? 75 00:07:47,010 --> 00:07:49,930 I mean, don't you think they might be a bit... 76 00:07:50,013 --> 00:07:53,141 shocked to see you like this? 77 00:07:53,225 --> 00:07:55,518 Well, they might be a bit surprised. 78 00:07:55,602 --> 00:07:58,813 But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. 79 00:07:58,897 --> 00:08:01,274 And don't worry. They'll love you, too. 80 00:08:01,358 --> 00:08:04,986 Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club. 81 00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:06,988 Stop it. They're not like that. 82 00:08:07,072 --> 00:08:10,533 How do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band? 83 00:08:10,617 --> 00:08:14,079 Come on! You could at least give them a chance. 84 00:08:14,162 --> 00:08:16,164 To do what? Sharpen their pitchforks? 85 00:08:16,248 --> 00:08:19,084 No! They just want to give you their blessing. 86 00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:23,255 Oh, great. Now I need their blessing? 87 00:08:23,338 --> 00:08:25,882 If you want to be a part of this family, yes! 88 00:08:25,966 --> 00:08:27,968 Who says I want to be part of this family? 89 00:08:28,051 --> 00:08:31,054 You did! When you married me! 90 00:08:31,137 --> 00:08:34,224 Well, there's some fine print for you! 91 00:08:34,307 --> 00:08:36,393 So that's it. You won't come? 92 00:08:36,476 --> 00:08:41,565 Trust me. It's a bad idea. We are not going! And that's final! 93 00:08:43,441 --> 00:08:45,944 Come on! We don't want to hit traffic! 94 00:08:48,822 --> 00:08:51,575 Don't worry! We'll take care of everything. 95 00:09:02,002 --> 00:09:06,756 All right, hit it! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Head 'em up, move 'em on! Head 'em up! 96 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,259 Rawhide! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! 97 00:09:09,342 --> 00:09:11,678 Move 'em on! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide! 98 00:09:11,761 --> 00:09:16,099 Ride 'em up! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide! 99 00:09:16,182 --> 00:09:18,435 Knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead! Make 'em tea! Buy 'em drinks! 100 00:09:18,518 --> 00:09:19,895 Meet their mamas! Milk 'em hard! 101 00:09:19,978 --> 00:09:22,314 Rawhide! 102 00:09:28,278 --> 00:09:30,614 - Are we there yet? - No. 103 00:09:33,992 --> 00:09:36,703 - Are we there yet? - Not yet. 104 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,000 - OK, are we there yet? - No. 105 00:09:43,251 --> 00:09:45,212 - Are we there yet? - No! 106 00:09:45,295 --> 00:09:47,005 - Are we there yet? - Yes. 107 00:09:47,088 --> 00:09:48,465 - Really? - No! 108 00:09:48,548 --> 00:09:49,966 - Are we there yet? - No! 109 00:09:50,050 --> 00:09:51,760 - Are we there yet? - No, we are not! 110 00:09:51,843 --> 00:09:54,179 - Are we there yet? - No! 111 00:09:55,722 --> 00:09:59,017 Are we there yet? That's not funny. 112 00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:02,145 That's really immature. 113 00:10:02,229 --> 00:10:03,897 This is why nobody likes ogres. 114 00:10:03,980 --> 00:10:06,816 All right! Your loss! I'll just stop talking. 115 00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:08,860 Finally! 116 00:10:08,944 --> 00:10:12,530 This is taking forever, Shrek. There's no in-flight movie or nothing! 117 00:10:12,614 --> 00:10:16,660 The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey. 118 00:10:16,743 --> 00:10:20,747 That's where we're going. Far, far... 119 00:10:21,373 --> 00:10:22,540 away! 120 00:10:22,624 --> 00:10:26,211 All right, all right, I get it. I'm just so damn bored. 121 00:10:26,294 --> 00:10:28,713 Well, find a way to entertain yourself. 122 00:10:51,570 --> 00:10:54,239 For five minutes... 123 00:10:54,322 --> 00:10:58,285 Could you not be yourself for five minutes! 124 00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:07,627 Are we there yet? 125 00:11:07,711 --> 00:11:10,463 - Yes! - Oh, finally! 126 00:11:25,437 --> 00:11:29,816 It's going to be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on. 127 00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:32,569 Hey, good looking! We'll be back to pick you up later! 128 00:11:34,237 --> 00:11:35,280 Pantyhose! 129 00:11:41,453 --> 00:11:43,955 We are definitely not in the swamp anymore. 130 00:12:08,647 --> 00:12:12,651 Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh? You working that hat. 131 00:12:20,784 --> 00:12:23,328 Swimming pools! Movie stars! 132 00:12:59,614 --> 00:13:01,950 Announcing the long-awaited return 133 00:13:02,033 --> 00:13:06,371 of the beautiful Princess Fiona and her new husband. 134 00:13:08,081 --> 00:13:10,000 Well, this is it. 135 00:13:10,083 --> 00:13:12,043 - This is it. - This is it. 136 00:13:12,127 --> 00:13:13,253 This is it. 137 00:13:36,693 --> 00:13:39,529 Why don't you guys go ahead? I'll park the car. 138 00:13:42,574 --> 00:13:47,996 So, you still think this is a good idea? 139 00:13:48,079 --> 00:13:52,542 Of course! Look! Mom and Dad look happy to see us. 140 00:13:52,626 --> 00:13:56,755 - Who on earth are they? - I think that's our little girl. 141 00:13:56,838 --> 00:14:00,217 That's not little! That's a really big problem. 142 00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:03,553 Wasn't she supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell? 143 00:14:03,637 --> 00:14:06,890 Well, he's no Prince Charming, but they do look... 144 00:14:06,973 --> 00:14:10,894 Happy now? We came. We saw them. 145 00:14:10,977 --> 00:14:13,563 Now let's go before they light the torches. 146 00:14:13,647 --> 00:14:16,566 - They're my parents. - They locked you in a tower. 147 00:14:16,650 --> 00:14:18,068 That was for my own... 148 00:14:18,151 --> 00:14:21,988 Good! Here's our chance. Let's go back inside and pretend we're not home. 149 00:14:22,072 --> 00:14:23,365 We have to be... 150 00:14:23,448 --> 00:14:26,451 Quick! While they're not looking we can make a run for it. 151 00:14:26,534 --> 00:14:28,828 Shrek, stop it! Everything's gonna be... 152 00:14:28,912 --> 00:14:30,830 A disaster! There is no way... 153 00:14:30,914 --> 00:14:32,582 - You can do this. - I really... 154 00:14:32,666 --> 00:14:33,458 Really... 155 00:14:33,541 --> 00:14:35,210 don't... want... to... be... 156 00:14:35,293 --> 00:14:36,461 Here! 157 00:14:39,631 --> 00:14:40,966 Mom... 158 00:14:41,049 --> 00:14:42,300 Dad... 159 00:14:43,677 --> 00:14:45,679 I'd like you to meet my husband... 160 00:14:45,762 --> 00:14:47,472 Shrek. 161 00:14:51,977 --> 00:14:55,689 It's easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks from. 162 00:15:33,310 --> 00:15:34,936 Excuse me. 163 00:15:35,562 --> 00:15:39,274 Better out than in, I always say, eh, Fiona? 164 00:15:41,359 --> 00:15:42,402 That's good. 165 00:15:44,195 --> 00:15:45,322 I guess not. 166 00:15:45,405 --> 00:15:49,784 What do you mean, "not on the list"? Don't tell me you don't know who I am. 167 00:15:49,868 --> 00:15:52,537 What's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting. 168 00:15:52,621 --> 00:15:57,042 - I had the hardest time finding this place. - No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down! 169 00:15:57,125 --> 00:16:00,003 No, Dad! It's all right. It's all right. He's with us. 170 00:16:00,086 --> 00:16:03,506 - He helped rescue me from the dragon. - That's me: the noble steed. 171 00:16:03,590 --> 00:16:05,508 Waiter! How about a bowl for the steed? 172 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,219 Oh, boy. 173 00:16:12,057 --> 00:16:15,310 Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs. Q. 174 00:16:16,186 --> 00:16:18,146 No, no. Darling. 175 00:16:23,068 --> 00:16:26,571 So, Fiona, tell us about where you live. 176 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,617 Shrek owns his own land. 177 00:16:31,493 --> 00:16:34,037 - Don't you, honey? - Oh, yes! 178 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:36,957 It's in an enchanted forest... 179 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:40,168 abundant in squirrels 180 00:16:40,252 --> 00:16:42,045 and cute little duckies and... 181 00:16:42,128 --> 00:16:45,465 What? I know you ain't talking about the swamp. 182 00:16:45,549 --> 00:16:48,969 An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original. 183 00:16:49,761 --> 00:16:52,597 I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children. 184 00:17:03,358 --> 00:17:05,986 It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it? 185 00:17:06,069 --> 00:17:08,362 Indeed. I just started eating. 186 00:17:09,030 --> 00:17:12,242 - What's that supposed to mean? - Dad. It's great, OK? 187 00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:15,160 - For his type, yes. - My type? 188 00:17:15,245 --> 00:17:16,580 I got to go to the bathroom. 189 00:17:16,662 --> 00:17:19,958 - Dinner is served! - Never mind. I can hold it. 190 00:17:27,173 --> 00:17:29,593 Mexican food! My favorite. 191 00:17:29,676 --> 00:17:33,263 Let's not sit here with our tummies rumbling. Everybody dig in. 192 00:17:33,346 --> 00:17:34,723 Don't mind if I do, Lillian. 193 00:17:34,806 --> 00:17:38,602 I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be... 194 00:17:38,685 --> 00:17:41,021 Ogres, yes! 195 00:17:41,104 --> 00:17:44,107 Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold? 196 00:17:44,190 --> 00:17:45,942 Oh, no! No! Of course, not! 197 00:17:46,026 --> 00:17:49,154 That is, assuming you don't eat your own young! 198 00:17:50,155 --> 00:17:54,784 Oh, no. We usually prefer the ones who've been locked away in a tower! 199 00:17:54,868 --> 00:17:58,622 - Shrek, please! - I only did that because I love her. 200 00:17:58,705 --> 00:18:00,957 Aye, day care or dragon-guarded castle. 201 00:18:01,041 --> 00:18:04,169 You wouldn't understand. You're not her father! 202 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,551 It's so nice to have the family together for dinner. 203 00:18:16,056 --> 00:18:17,390 - Harold! - Shrek! 204 00:18:17,474 --> 00:18:18,475 - Fiona! - Fiona! 205 00:18:18,558 --> 00:18:19,809 - Mom! - Harold... 206 00:18:19,893 --> 00:18:21,478 Donkey! 207 00:19:23,915 --> 00:19:27,002 Your fallen tears have called to me 208 00:19:28,003 --> 00:19:31,882 So, here comes my sweet remedy 209 00:19:32,966 --> 00:19:37,387 I know what every princess needs 210 00:19:37,470 --> 00:19:42,267 for her to live life happily 211 00:19:44,394 --> 00:19:48,315 Oh, my dear. Oh, look at you. 212 00:19:49,399 --> 00:19:51,276 You're all grown up. 213 00:19:51,902 --> 00:19:55,071 - Who are you? - Oh, sweet pea! 214 00:19:55,155 --> 00:19:57,032 I'm your fairy godmother. 215 00:19:57,282 --> 00:19:59,868 I have a fairy godmother? 216 00:19:59,951 --> 00:20:04,247 Now don't worry. I'm here to make it all better. 217 00:20:04,331 --> 00:20:07,375 With just a... 218 00:20:08,084 --> 00:20:11,713 Wave of my magic wand Your troubles will soon be gone 219 00:20:11,796 --> 00:20:16,718 With a flick of the wrist and just a flash You'll land a prince with a ton of cash 220 00:20:16,801 --> 00:20:18,720 A high-priced dress made by mice no less 221 00:20:18,803 --> 00:20:20,889 Some crystal glass pumps And no more stress, 222 00:20:20,972 --> 00:20:22,933 Your worries will vanish, your soul will cleanse 223 00:20:23,016 --> 00:20:24,851 Confide in your very own furniture friends 224 00:20:24,935 --> 00:20:28,063 We'll help you set a new fashion trend 225 00:20:28,146 --> 00:20:32,108 - I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great - The kind of girl a prince would date! 226 00:20:32,192 --> 00:20:34,444 They'll write your name on the bathroom wall... 227 00:20:34,527 --> 00:20:36,571 "For a happy ever after, give Fiona a call!" 228 00:20:36,655 --> 00:20:40,659 A sporty carriage to ride in style Sexy man boy chauffeur, "Kyle" 229 00:20:40,742 --> 00:20:44,412 Banish your blemishes, tooth decay, Cellulite thighs will fade away 230 00:20:44,496 --> 00:20:47,040 And oh, what the hey! Have a bichon frisé! 231 00:20:47,832 --> 00:20:50,794 Nip and tuck, here and there to land that prince with the perfect hair 232 00:20:50,877 --> 00:20:54,506 Lipstick liners, shadows blush To get the prince with the sexy tush 233 00:20:54,589 --> 00:20:57,592 Lucky day, hunk buffet You and your prince take a roll in the hay 234 00:20:57,676 --> 00:21:00,929 You can spoon on the moon With the prince to this tune 235 00:21:01,012 --> 00:21:03,682 Don't be drab, you'll be fab Your prince will have rock-hard abs 236 00:21:03,765 --> 00:21:06,351 Cheese soufflé, Valentine's Day Have some chicken fricassee! 237 00:21:06,434 --> 00:21:08,979 Nip and tuck, here and there To land that prince with the perfect hair 238 00:21:09,062 --> 00:21:11,106 Stop! 239 00:21:12,816 --> 00:21:15,694 Thank you very much, Fairy Godmother, 240 00:21:15,944 --> 00:21:18,697 but I really don't need all this. 241 00:21:21,032 --> 00:21:23,952 - Fine. Be that way. - We didn't like you, anyway. 242 00:21:30,834 --> 00:21:33,920 Oh! You got a puppy? All I got in my room was shampoo. 243 00:21:35,755 --> 00:21:38,842 Fairy Godmother, furniture... 244 00:21:38,925 --> 00:21:41,344 I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek. 245 00:21:41,428 --> 00:21:45,015 Your husband? What? What did you say? When did this happen? 246 00:21:45,098 --> 00:21:46,808 Shrek is the one who rescued me. 247 00:21:46,892 --> 00:21:50,812 - But that can't be right. - Oh, great, more relatives! 248 00:21:50,896 --> 00:21:52,689 She's just trying to help. 249 00:21:52,772 --> 00:21:56,026 Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving. 250 00:21:56,109 --> 00:21:57,611 - What? - I don't want to leave. 251 00:21:57,694 --> 00:21:59,112 When did you decide this? 252 00:21:59,362 --> 00:22:01,990 - Shortly after arriving. - Look, I'm sorry... 253 00:22:02,073 --> 00:22:05,285 No, that's all right. I need to go, anyway. 254 00:22:05,535 --> 00:22:08,788 But remember, dear. If you should ever need me, 255 00:22:08,872 --> 00:22:10,040 happiness... 256 00:22:10,123 --> 00:22:11,666 is just a teardrop away. 257 00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:14,502 Thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need. 258 00:22:14,586 --> 00:22:16,296 Happy happy happy... 259 00:22:16,546 --> 00:22:20,091 So I see. Let's go, Kyle. 260 00:22:23,386 --> 00:22:24,846 - Very nice, Shrek. - What? 261 00:22:24,930 --> 00:22:27,682 I told you coming here was a bad idea. 262 00:22:27,766 --> 00:22:30,393 You could have tried to get along with my father. 263 00:22:30,477 --> 00:22:34,940 Somehow I don't think I was going to get Daddy's blessing... even if I did want it. 264 00:22:35,023 --> 00:22:39,069 Do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted? 265 00:22:39,152 --> 00:22:41,863 Sure. Do you want me to pack for you? 266 00:22:41,947 --> 00:22:45,450 You're unbelievable! You're behaving like a... 267 00:22:46,576 --> 00:22:49,579 - Go on! Say it! - Like an ogre! 268 00:22:49,663 --> 00:22:51,039 Here's a news flash for you! 269 00:22:51,122 --> 00:22:54,960 Whether your parents like it or not... I am an ogre! 270 00:23:00,882 --> 00:23:04,636 And guess what, Princess? That's not about to change. 271 00:23:10,433 --> 00:23:14,604 I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. 272 00:23:16,439 --> 00:23:20,443 That's real smooth, Shrek. "I'm an ogre!" 273 00:23:46,553 --> 00:23:49,848 - I knew this would happen. - You should. You started it. 274 00:23:49,931 --> 00:23:53,977 I can hardly believe that, Lillian. He's the ogre. Not me. 275 00:23:54,060 --> 00:23:57,522 I think, Harold... you're taking this a little too personally. 276 00:23:57,606 --> 00:23:59,941 This is Fiona's choice. 277 00:24:00,025 --> 00:24:03,111 But she was supposed to choose the prince we picked for her. 278 00:24:03,194 --> 00:24:07,407 I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this... thing? 279 00:24:07,490 --> 00:24:11,453 Fiona does. And she'll never forgive you if you don't. 280 00:24:11,536 --> 00:24:14,706 I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold. 281 00:24:16,249 --> 00:24:18,793 Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable. 282 00:24:18,877 --> 00:24:21,713 Don't you remember when we were young and... 283 00:24:21,796 --> 00:24:24,799 We used to walk down by the lily pond and... 284 00:24:24,883 --> 00:24:28,094 - they were in bloom... - Our first kiss. 285 00:24:28,178 --> 00:24:29,471 It's not the same! 286 00:24:29,554 --> 00:24:33,642 I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a monster! 287 00:24:33,725 --> 00:24:35,894 Oh, stop being such a drama king. 288 00:24:36,144 --> 00:24:38,021 Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong! 289 00:24:38,104 --> 00:24:43,318 Isn't it all wonderful! I'd like to know how it could get any worse! 290 00:24:43,401 --> 00:24:45,320 - Hello, Harold. - What happened? 291 00:24:45,403 --> 00:24:50,325 Nothing, dear! Just the old hunting wound playing up a bit! 292 00:24:50,659 --> 00:24:54,704 - I'll just stretch it out here for a while. - You better get in. 293 00:24:55,121 --> 00:24:56,748 We need to talk. 294 00:24:56,831 --> 00:24:59,334 Actually, Fairy Godmother, just off to bed. 295 00:24:59,417 --> 00:25:02,629 Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. 296 00:25:02,712 --> 00:25:06,466 So, how about... We make this a quick visit. What? 297 00:25:07,801 --> 00:25:09,386 Oh, hello. 298 00:25:12,138 --> 00:25:13,848 So, what's new? 299 00:25:13,932 --> 00:25:17,477 You remember my son, Prince Charming? 300 00:25:17,769 --> 00:25:21,231 Is that you? My gosh! It's been years. 301 00:25:21,314 --> 00:25:23,358 When did you get back? 302 00:25:23,858 --> 00:25:26,486 Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. 303 00:25:26,570 --> 00:25:30,115 After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert... 304 00:25:30,198 --> 00:25:33,201 I climbed to the highest room in the tallest tower... 305 00:25:33,285 --> 00:25:35,704 Mommy can handle this. 306 00:25:35,787 --> 00:25:39,874 He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! 307 00:25:39,958 --> 00:25:43,879 He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower... 308 00:25:43,962 --> 00:25:45,130 And what does he find? 309 00:25:45,213 --> 00:25:48,884 Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess 310 00:25:48,967 --> 00:25:50,927 is already married. 311 00:25:51,011 --> 00:25:53,263 It wasn't my fault. He didn't get there in time. 312 00:25:53,555 --> 00:25:55,140 Stop the car! 313 00:25:59,644 --> 00:26:04,024 You force me to do something I really don't want to do. 314 00:26:04,566 --> 00:26:06,192 Where are we? 315 00:26:06,276 --> 00:26:09,112 Hi. Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy! May I take your order? 316 00:26:09,362 --> 00:26:12,616 My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy. 317 00:26:13,617 --> 00:26:16,328 Two Renaissance Wraps, no mayo... chili rings... 318 00:26:16,411 --> 00:26:19,789 - I'll have the Medieval Meal. - One Medieval Meal and, Harold... 319 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:22,042 - Curly fries? - No, thank you. 320 00:26:22,125 --> 00:26:23,585 Sourdough soft taco, then? 321 00:26:23,668 --> 00:26:24,836 No, really, I'm fine. 322 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:28,715 Your order, Fairy Godmother. This comes with the Medieval Meal. 323 00:26:28,798 --> 00:26:29,925 Here you are, dear. 324 00:26:33,386 --> 00:26:37,182 We made a deal, Harold, and I assume you don't want me to go back on my part. 325 00:26:37,766 --> 00:26:39,559 Indeed not. 326 00:26:39,643 --> 00:26:43,188 So, Fiona and Charming will be together. 327 00:26:43,271 --> 00:26:46,775 - Yes. - Oh, believe me, Harold. It's what's best. 328 00:26:46,858 --> 00:26:49,319 Not only for your daughter 329 00:26:50,654 --> 00:26:52,572 but for your Kingdom. 330 00:26:57,244 --> 00:26:59,371 What am I supposed to do about it? 331 00:27:01,039 --> 00:27:02,791 Use your imagination. 332 00:27:41,204 --> 00:27:42,831 Come on in, Your Majesty. 333 00:27:49,629 --> 00:27:52,507 I like my town 334 00:27:54,050 --> 00:27:57,971 With a little drop of poison 335 00:27:58,930 --> 00:28:01,850 Nobody knows... 336 00:28:02,893 --> 00:28:04,895 Excuse me. 337 00:28:04,978 --> 00:28:07,230 Do I know you? 338 00:28:07,314 --> 00:28:10,191 No, you must be mistaking me for someone else. 339 00:28:10,275 --> 00:28:13,904 Excuse me. I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister. 340 00:28:16,698 --> 00:28:18,241 There you are. Right. 341 00:28:19,326 --> 00:28:23,872 You see, I need to have someone taken care of. 342 00:28:23,955 --> 00:28:28,293 - Who's the guy? - Well, he's not a guy, per se. 343 00:28:28,376 --> 00:28:30,086 He's an ogre. 344 00:28:32,964 --> 00:28:34,674 Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. 345 00:28:34,758 --> 00:28:39,054 There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that, and, frankly... 346 00:28:39,137 --> 00:28:41,306 he don't like to be disturbed. 347 00:28:41,389 --> 00:28:42,974 Where could I find him? 348 00:28:46,436 --> 00:28:48,021 Hello? 349 00:28:49,147 --> 00:28:51,566 Who dares enter my room? 350 00:28:51,650 --> 00:28:55,278 Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting... but I'm told you're the one to talk to 351 00:28:55,362 --> 00:28:57,113 about an ogre problem? 352 00:28:57,197 --> 00:28:59,491 You are told correct. 353 00:28:59,574 --> 00:29:03,411 But for this, I charge a great deal of money. 354 00:29:03,495 --> 00:29:05,455 Would this be enough? 355 00:29:12,295 --> 00:29:17,384 You have engaged my valuable services, Your Majesty. 356 00:29:17,676 --> 00:29:20,887 Just tell me where I can find this ogre. 357 00:30:29,205 --> 00:30:33,752 Dear Knight, I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. 358 00:30:56,024 --> 00:30:57,400 Dear Diary... 359 00:30:57,484 --> 00:31:00,195 Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, 360 00:31:00,278 --> 00:31:04,074 but Dad says I can't go. He never lets me out after sunset. 361 00:31:04,950 --> 00:31:07,619 Dad says I'm going away for a while. 362 00:31:07,911 --> 00:31:10,121 Must be like some finishing school. 363 00:31:11,081 --> 00:31:13,083 Mom says that when I'm old enough 364 00:31:13,166 --> 00:31:17,712 my Prince Charming will rescue me and bring me back to my family. 365 00:31:18,588 --> 00:31:21,758 And we'll all live happily ever after. 366 00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,512 Mrs. Fiona Charming. 367 00:31:42,487 --> 00:31:45,282 Sorry. I hope I'm not interrupting anything. 368 00:31:45,574 --> 00:31:51,079 No, no. I was just reading a scary book. 369 00:31:51,496 --> 00:31:56,167 I was hoping you'd let me apologize for my despicable behavior earlier. 370 00:31:57,168 --> 00:31:58,753 I don't know what came over me. 371 00:31:58,837 --> 00:32:02,173 Do you suppose we could pretend it never happened and start over... 372 00:32:02,465 --> 00:32:05,468 - Look, Your Majesty, I just... - Please. Call me Dad. 373 00:32:05,552 --> 00:32:09,723 Dad. We both acted like ogres. 374 00:32:09,806 --> 00:32:13,268 Maybe we just need some time to get to know each other. 375 00:32:13,351 --> 00:32:17,814 Excellent idea! I was actually hoping you might join me for a morning hunt. 376 00:32:17,898 --> 00:32:19,816 A little father-son time? 377 00:32:21,526 --> 00:32:24,154 I know it would mean the world to Fiona. 378 00:32:32,996 --> 00:32:37,042 Shall we say, 7:30 by the old oak? 379 00:32:42,547 --> 00:32:44,674 Face it, Donkey! We're lost. 380 00:32:44,758 --> 00:32:48,470 We can't be lost. We followed the King's instructions exactly. 381 00:32:48,553 --> 00:32:50,972 "Head to the darkest part of the woods..." 382 00:32:51,056 --> 00:32:54,142 "Past the sinister trees with scary-looking branches." 383 00:32:54,226 --> 00:32:58,480 - The bush shaped like Shirley Bassey! - We passed that three times already! 384 00:32:58,563 --> 00:33:01,483 You were the one who said not to stop for directions. 385 00:33:01,566 --> 00:33:05,987 Great. My one chance to fix things up with Fiona's dad 386 00:33:06,071 --> 00:33:07,864 and I end up lost in the woods with you! 387 00:33:08,156 --> 00:33:10,200 Don't get huffy! I'm only trying to help. 388 00:33:10,492 --> 00:33:12,369 I know! I know. 389 00:33:14,704 --> 00:33:17,958 - I'm sorry, all right? - Hey, don't worry about it. 390 00:33:18,250 --> 00:33:21,378 I just really need to make things work with this guy. 391 00:33:21,461 --> 00:33:24,214 Yeah, sure. Now let's go bond with Daddy. 392 00:33:32,222 --> 00:33:33,682 Well, well, well, Donkey. 393 00:33:33,765 --> 00:33:37,310 I know it was kind of a tender moment back there, but the purring? 394 00:33:37,394 --> 00:33:39,187 I ain't purring. 395 00:33:39,271 --> 00:33:42,065 Sure. What's next? A hug? 396 00:33:42,148 --> 00:33:45,735 Donkeys don't purr. What do you think I am, some kind of a... 397 00:33:46,570 --> 00:33:48,321 Fear me! If you dare! 398 00:33:49,239 --> 00:33:50,615 Hey, look! A little cat. 399 00:33:50,699 --> 00:33:54,160 - Look out, Shrek! He got a piece! - It's a cat, Donkey. 400 00:33:54,244 --> 00:33:56,162 Come here, little kitty, kitty. 401 00:33:56,246 --> 00:34:01,293 Come on, little kitty. Come here. Oh! Come here, little kitty. 402 00:34:04,296 --> 00:34:08,592 - Hold on, Shrek! I'm coming! - Come on! Get it off! Get it off! 403 00:34:14,639 --> 00:34:17,057 - Look out, Shrek! Hold still! - Get it off! 404 00:34:17,142 --> 00:34:19,102 Shrek! Hold still! 405 00:34:20,353 --> 00:34:24,231 - Did I miss? - No. You got them. 406 00:34:27,903 --> 00:34:31,489 Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from... 407 00:34:33,199 --> 00:34:35,994 Puss... In Boots. 408 00:34:36,286 --> 00:34:37,787 I'll kill that cat! 409 00:34:57,891 --> 00:35:00,685 - Hairball. - Oh! That is nasty! 410 00:35:01,978 --> 00:35:03,772 What should we do with him? 411 00:35:03,855 --> 00:35:07,067 Take the sword and neuter him. Give him the Bob Barker treatment. 412 00:35:08,568 --> 00:35:13,114 I implore you! It was nothing personal, Señor. I was doing it only for my family. 413 00:35:13,198 --> 00:35:17,285 My mother, she is sick. And my father lives off the garbage! 414 00:35:17,369 --> 00:35:20,789 The King offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers... 415 00:35:22,374 --> 00:35:25,252 Fiona's father paid you to do this? 416 00:35:25,335 --> 00:35:27,128 The rich King? Sí. 417 00:35:31,341 --> 00:35:34,010 So much for Dad's royal blessing. 418 00:35:34,261 --> 00:35:37,514 Don't feel bad. Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you. 419 00:35:37,597 --> 00:35:38,932 Gee, thanks. 420 00:35:42,018 --> 00:35:46,439 Maybe Fiona would've been better off if I were some sort of Prince Charming. 421 00:35:46,731 --> 00:35:47,983 That's what the King said. 422 00:35:50,151 --> 00:35:52,737 Sorry. I thought that question was directed at me. 423 00:35:54,823 --> 00:35:56,908 Fiona knows you'd do anything for her. 424 00:35:56,992 --> 00:36:00,078 Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could. 425 00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:04,207 I just wish I could make her happy. 426 00:36:06,418 --> 00:36:07,878 Hold the phone... 427 00:36:09,754 --> 00:36:10,964 Happiness. 428 00:36:11,923 --> 00:36:14,217 A teardrop away. 429 00:36:15,010 --> 00:36:18,388 Donkey! Think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you! 430 00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:21,182 Ah, man, where do I begin? 431 00:36:21,266 --> 00:36:25,478 First there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. 432 00:36:25,770 --> 00:36:29,441 Then this fool had a party and he have the guests trying to pin the tail on me. 433 00:36:29,524 --> 00:36:33,486 Then they got drunk and start beating me with a stick, going "Piñata!!" 434 00:36:33,778 --> 00:36:34,905 What is a piñata, anyway? 435 00:36:35,155 --> 00:36:37,407 No, Donkey! I need you to cry! 436 00:36:37,699 --> 00:36:41,411 Don't go projecting on me. I know you're feeling bad, but you got to let... 437 00:36:44,122 --> 00:36:46,666 You little, hairy, litter-licking sack of... 438 00:36:54,633 --> 00:36:56,009 What? Is it on? Is it on? 439 00:36:57,260 --> 00:36:59,054 This is Fairy Godmother. 440 00:36:59,137 --> 00:37:01,389 I'm either away from my desk or with a client. 441 00:37:01,473 --> 00:37:06,019 But if you come by the office, we'll be glad to make you an appointment. 442 00:37:06,102 --> 00:37:07,812 Have a "happy ever after." 443 00:37:12,234 --> 00:37:14,361 Are you up for a little quest, Donkey? 444 00:37:14,653 --> 00:37:18,073 That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey, on another whirlwind adventure! 445 00:37:18,156 --> 00:37:21,660 Ain't no stoppin' us now! Whoa! We're on the move! 446 00:37:21,743 --> 00:37:26,456 - Stop, Ogre! I have misjudged you. - Join the club. We've got jackets. 447 00:37:26,539 --> 00:37:30,293 On my honor, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life 448 00:37:30,377 --> 00:37:32,295 as you have spared me mine. 449 00:37:32,379 --> 00:37:35,715 The position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. 450 00:37:35,799 --> 00:37:38,552 Let's go, Shrek. Shrek? 451 00:37:48,645 --> 00:37:50,897 Come on, Donkey. Look at him... 452 00:37:50,981 --> 00:37:52,857 in his wee little boots. 453 00:37:52,941 --> 00:37:56,111 You know, how many cats can wear boots? 454 00:37:56,194 --> 00:37:58,989 - Let's keep him! - Say what? 455 00:38:02,075 --> 00:38:03,952 Listen. He's purring! 456 00:38:04,035 --> 00:38:06,997 - Oh, so now it's cute. - Come on, Donkey. Lighten up. 457 00:38:07,247 --> 00:38:10,667 Lighten up? I should lighten up. Look who's telling who to lighten up! 458 00:38:32,188 --> 00:38:34,733 They're both festive, aren't they? 459 00:38:34,816 --> 00:38:36,985 What do you think, Harold? 460 00:38:37,068 --> 00:38:38,987 Yes, fine. Fine. 461 00:38:41,031 --> 00:38:44,784 Try to at least pretend you're interested in your daughter's wedding ball. 462 00:38:44,868 --> 00:38:47,162 Honestly, Lillian, I don't think it matters. 463 00:38:47,245 --> 00:38:49,873 How do we know there will even be a ball? 464 00:38:49,956 --> 00:38:51,583 Mom. Dad. 465 00:38:51,666 --> 00:38:55,253 - Oh, hello, dear. - What's that, Cedric? Right! Coming. 466 00:38:55,879 --> 00:38:58,006 Mom, have you seen Shrek? 467 00:38:58,089 --> 00:39:01,009 I haven't. You should ask your father. 468 00:39:01,092 --> 00:39:05,680 Be sure and use small words, dear. He's a little slow this morning. 469 00:39:05,764 --> 00:39:07,474 - Can I help you, Your Majesty? - Yes! 470 00:39:09,893 --> 00:39:11,853 Exquisite. What do you call this dish? 471 00:39:11,937 --> 00:39:14,940 That would be the dog's breakfast, Your Majesty. 472 00:39:15,732 --> 00:39:18,818 Yes. Very good, then. Carry on, Cedric. 473 00:39:18,902 --> 00:39:23,031 - Dad? Have you seen Shrek? - No, I haven't, dear. 474 00:39:23,114 --> 00:39:26,910 I'm sure he just went off to look for a nice... mud hole to cool down in. 475 00:39:26,993 --> 00:39:29,496 You know, after your little spat last night. 476 00:39:30,038 --> 00:39:31,623 You heard that, huh? 477 00:39:31,706 --> 00:39:33,458 The whole kingdom heard you. 478 00:39:33,541 --> 00:39:36,294 I mean, after all it is in his nature to be, 479 00:39:36,378 --> 00:39:37,963 well, a bit of a brute. 480 00:39:38,046 --> 00:39:42,008 Him? You know, you didn't exactly roll out the Welcome Wagon. 481 00:39:42,300 --> 00:39:45,595 Well, what did you expect? Look at what he's done to you. 482 00:39:46,346 --> 00:39:48,848 Shrek loves me for who I am. 483 00:39:49,432 --> 00:39:51,977 I would think you'd be happy for me. 484 00:39:52,269 --> 00:39:55,647 Darling, I'm just thinking about what's best for you. 485 00:39:55,730 --> 00:39:58,441 Maybe you should do the same. 486 00:40:12,455 --> 00:40:14,124 No, really? 487 00:40:26,511 --> 00:40:29,389 That's the old Keebler's place. Let's back away slowly. 488 00:40:29,472 --> 00:40:31,391 That's the Fairy Godmother's cottage. 489 00:40:31,474 --> 00:40:34,978 She's the largest producer of hexes and potions in the whole kingdom. 490 00:40:35,061 --> 00:40:38,648 Then why don't we pop in there for a spell? Spell. 491 00:40:44,070 --> 00:40:45,530 He makes me laugh. 492 00:40:51,828 --> 00:40:53,163 Hi. I'm here to see the... 493 00:40:53,455 --> 00:40:56,458 The Fairy Godmother. I'm sorry. She is not in. 494 00:40:56,541 --> 00:40:59,669 Jerome! Coffee and a Monte Cristo. Now! 495 00:41:00,795 --> 00:41:04,049 Yes, Fairy Godmother. Right away. 496 00:41:04,132 --> 00:41:06,718 Look, she's not seeing any clients today, OK? 497 00:41:07,010 --> 00:41:08,803 That's OK. We're from the union. 498 00:41:08,887 --> 00:41:10,055 The union? 499 00:41:10,347 --> 00:41:14,684 We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign. 500 00:41:15,310 --> 00:41:16,353 Oh! Right. 501 00:41:16,645 --> 00:41:19,648 Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed? 502 00:41:20,523 --> 00:41:23,235 A little. We don't even have dental. 503 00:41:23,526 --> 00:41:25,070 They don't even have dental. 504 00:41:25,528 --> 00:41:27,447 We'll just have a look around. 505 00:41:28,198 --> 00:41:32,160 I think it'd be better if the Fairy Godmother didn't know we were here. 506 00:41:32,244 --> 00:41:35,372 Know what I'm saying? Huh? 507 00:41:35,455 --> 00:41:38,667 - Stop it. - Of course. Go right in. 508 00:42:08,071 --> 00:42:09,781 A drop of desire. 509 00:42:11,491 --> 00:42:12,701 Naughty. 510 00:42:13,910 --> 00:42:15,579 A pinch of passion. 511 00:42:20,750 --> 00:42:23,128 And just a hint of... 512 00:42:23,753 --> 00:42:24,921 lust! 513 00:42:28,466 --> 00:42:29,759 Excuse me. 514 00:42:30,510 --> 00:42:32,137 Sorry to barge in like this... 515 00:42:32,429 --> 00:42:35,473 What in Grimm's name are you doing here? 516 00:42:36,433 --> 00:42:40,520 It seems that Fiona's not exactly happy. 517 00:42:42,022 --> 00:42:44,524 And there's some question as to why that is? 518 00:42:45,984 --> 00:42:47,611 Let's explore that, shall we? 519 00:42:51,406 --> 00:42:53,325 Princess. Cinderella. 520 00:42:53,408 --> 00:42:56,536 Here we are. "Lived happily ever after." Oh... 521 00:42:56,620 --> 00:42:58,663 No ogres! 522 00:42:58,955 --> 00:43:00,248 Let's see. Snow White. 523 00:43:00,332 --> 00:43:04,002 A handsome prince. Oh, no ogres. 524 00:43:04,294 --> 00:43:06,421 Sleeping Beauty. Oh, no ogres! 525 00:43:06,504 --> 00:43:09,758 Hansel and Gretel? No! Thumbelina? No. 526 00:43:09,841 --> 00:43:12,844 The Golden Bird, the Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman... 527 00:43:12,928 --> 00:43:15,597 No, no, no, no, no! 528 00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:19,809 You see, ogres don't live happily ever after. 529 00:43:20,101 --> 00:43:21,645 All right, look, lady! 530 00:43:21,728 --> 00:43:25,357 Don't you point... those dirty green sausages at me! 531 00:43:26,816 --> 00:43:28,485 Your Monte Cristo and coffee. 532 00:43:28,777 --> 00:43:30,195 Oh! Sorry. 533 00:43:31,446 --> 00:43:34,574 That's OK. We were just leaving. 534 00:43:34,866 --> 00:43:37,577 Very sorry to have wasted your time, Miss Godmother. 535 00:43:37,661 --> 00:43:39,204 Just go. 536 00:43:39,496 --> 00:43:40,664 Come on, guys. 537 00:43:56,555 --> 00:43:58,515 TGIF, eh, buddy? 538 00:44:00,475 --> 00:44:03,186 Working hard or hardly working, eh, Mac? 539 00:44:12,362 --> 00:44:17,367 Get your fine Corinthian footwear and your cat cheeks out of my face! Man, that stinks! 540 00:44:18,034 --> 00:44:21,288 You don't exactly smell like a basket of roses. 541 00:44:24,874 --> 00:44:28,712 - One of these has got to help. - I was just concocting this very plan! 542 00:44:29,004 --> 00:44:31,381 Already our minds are becoming one. 543 00:44:33,091 --> 00:44:36,970 If we need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call. 544 00:44:37,053 --> 00:44:38,680 Shrek, this is a bad idea. 545 00:44:38,763 --> 00:44:42,017 Look. Make yourself useful and go keep watch. 546 00:44:42,100 --> 00:44:45,395 Puss, do you think you could get to those on top? 547 00:44:45,478 --> 00:44:46,521 No problema, boss. 548 00:44:46,605 --> 00:44:51,026 In one of my nine lives... I was the great cat burglar of Santiago de Compostela. 549 00:44:51,902 --> 00:44:53,361 Shrek, are you off your nut? 550 00:44:53,445 --> 00:44:55,030 Donkey, keep watch. 551 00:44:55,113 --> 00:44:57,115 Keep watch? Yeah, I'll keep watch. 552 00:44:57,198 --> 00:45:01,077 I'll watch that wicked witch come and whammy a world of hurt up your backside. 553 00:45:01,369 --> 00:45:04,080 I'll laugh, too. I'll be giggling to myself. 554 00:45:04,331 --> 00:45:07,042 - What do you see? - "Toad Stool Softener"? 555 00:45:07,125 --> 00:45:11,254 I'm sure a nice BM is the perfect solution for marital problems. 556 00:45:11,338 --> 00:45:12,464 "Elfa Seltzer"? 557 00:45:13,256 --> 00:45:16,635 - "Hex Lax"? - No! Try "handsome". 558 00:45:17,636 --> 00:45:19,095 Sorry. No handsome. 559 00:45:20,388 --> 00:45:23,475 Hey! How about "Happily Ever After"? 560 00:45:24,267 --> 00:45:25,644 What does it do? 561 00:45:26,269 --> 00:45:29,189 It says "Beauty Divine." 562 00:45:29,272 --> 00:45:32,567 In some cultures, donkeys are revered as the wisest of creatures. 563 00:45:32,651 --> 00:45:34,194 Especially us talking ones. 564 00:45:37,989 --> 00:45:39,824 That'll have to do. We've got company. 565 00:45:47,374 --> 00:45:48,667 Can we get on with this? 566 00:45:52,087 --> 00:45:53,547 Hurry! 567 00:46:02,305 --> 00:46:03,765 Nice catch, Donkey! 568 00:46:03,848 --> 00:46:05,725 Finally! A good use for your mouth. 569 00:46:10,146 --> 00:46:11,189 Come on! 570 00:47:12,918 --> 00:47:17,672 I don't care whose fault it is. Just get this place cleaned up! 571 00:47:17,756 --> 00:47:22,552 And somebody bring me something deep fried and smothered in chocolate! 572 00:47:23,511 --> 00:47:27,140 - Mother! - Charming. Sweetheart. 573 00:47:27,224 --> 00:47:30,685 This isn't a good time, pumpkin. Mama's working. 574 00:47:30,769 --> 00:47:32,854 Whoa, what happened here? 575 00:47:32,938 --> 00:47:34,356 The ogre, that's what! 576 00:47:34,439 --> 00:47:36,024 What? Where is he, Mom? 577 00:47:36,107 --> 00:47:38,652 I shall rend his head from his shoulders! 578 00:47:38,735 --> 00:47:41,112 I will smite him where he stands! 579 00:47:41,196 --> 00:47:45,116 He will rue the very day he stole my kingdom from me! 580 00:47:46,451 --> 00:47:49,704 Put it away, junior! You're still going to be king. 581 00:47:49,788 --> 00:47:52,415 We'll just have to come up with something smarter. 582 00:47:54,709 --> 00:47:58,922 Everything is accounted for, Fairy Godmother, except for one potion. 583 00:47:59,005 --> 00:48:00,131 What? 584 00:48:03,134 --> 00:48:06,096 I do believe we can make this work to our advantage. 585 00:48:08,139 --> 00:48:11,518 "Happily Ever After Potion. Maximum strength. 586 00:48:11,810 --> 00:48:14,271 "For you and your true love. 587 00:48:14,521 --> 00:48:17,107 If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. 588 00:48:17,190 --> 00:48:19,943 "Happiness, comfort and beauty divine." 589 00:48:20,193 --> 00:48:23,780 - You both will be fine? - I guess it means it'll affect Fiona, too. 590 00:48:24,823 --> 00:48:28,577 Hey, man, this don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over. 591 00:48:28,660 --> 00:48:31,580 Drop that jug o' voodoo and let's get out of here. 592 00:48:31,663 --> 00:48:35,041 It says, "Beauty Divine." How bad can it be? 593 00:48:37,085 --> 00:48:40,171 See, you're allergic to that stuff. You'll have a reaction. 594 00:48:40,255 --> 00:48:44,467 And if you think that I'll be smearing Vapor Rub over your chest, think again! 595 00:48:44,759 --> 00:48:47,929 Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion... 596 00:48:48,013 --> 00:48:49,890 allow me to take the first sip. 597 00:48:49,973 --> 00:48:53,226 It would be an honor to lay my life on the line for you. 598 00:48:54,519 --> 00:48:58,148 I don't think so. If there'll be any animal testing, I'll do it. 599 00:48:58,231 --> 00:49:01,234 That's the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle. 600 00:49:06,990 --> 00:49:08,366 How do you feel? 601 00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:12,746 I don't feel any different. I look any different? 602 00:49:12,829 --> 00:49:14,915 You still look like an ass to me. 603 00:49:15,665 --> 00:49:18,001 Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys. 604 00:49:21,213 --> 00:49:22,881 Here's to us, Fiona. 605 00:49:23,590 --> 00:49:26,551 - You drink that, there's no going back. - I know. 606 00:49:26,843 --> 00:49:28,637 - No more wallowing in the mud? - I know. 607 00:49:28,720 --> 00:49:30,472 - No more itchy butt crack? - I know! 608 00:49:30,555 --> 00:49:32,849 - But you love being an ogre! - I know! 609 00:49:36,561 --> 00:49:38,563 But I love Fiona more. 610 00:49:39,898 --> 00:49:41,733 Shrek, no! Wait! 611 00:49:54,996 --> 00:49:59,000 Got to be... I think you grabbed the "Farty Ever After" potion. 612 00:49:59,084 --> 00:50:01,419 Maybe it's a dud. 613 00:50:01,503 --> 00:50:03,922 Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be. 614 00:50:08,552 --> 00:50:11,096 What did I tell you? I feel something coming on. 615 00:50:11,388 --> 00:50:13,890 I don't want to die. I don't want to die! 616 00:50:15,559 --> 00:50:17,894 Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy. I'm melting! 617 00:50:18,186 --> 00:50:20,188 I'm melting! 618 00:50:20,272 --> 00:50:21,773 It's just the rain, Donkey. 619 00:51:07,110 --> 00:51:10,280 Don't worry. Things seem bad because it's dark and rainy... 620 00:51:10,363 --> 00:51:13,742 and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hit man to whack you. 621 00:51:13,825 --> 00:51:16,870 It'll be better in the morning. You'll see... 622 00:51:17,162 --> 00:51:19,664 The sun will come out 623 00:51:20,457 --> 00:51:21,958 tomorrow! 624 00:51:22,834 --> 00:51:24,711 Bet your bottom... 625 00:51:25,045 --> 00:51:26,755 Bet my bottom? 626 00:51:26,838 --> 00:51:28,089 I'm coming, Elizabeth! 627 00:51:29,966 --> 00:51:31,718 Are you all right? 628 00:51:32,010 --> 00:51:34,554 Hey, boss. Let's shave him. 629 00:51:45,148 --> 00:51:47,567 There you are! We missed you at dinner. 630 00:51:48,944 --> 00:51:50,487 What is it, darling? 631 00:51:52,197 --> 00:51:54,532 I've been thinking about what you said. 632 00:51:55,492 --> 00:51:57,327 I'm going to set things right. 633 00:51:57,661 --> 00:52:00,163 Excellent! That's my girl. 634 00:52:00,247 --> 00:52:02,958 It was a mistake to bring Shrek here. 635 00:52:03,041 --> 00:52:05,168 I'm going to go find him. 636 00:52:05,752 --> 00:52:08,797 And then we'll go back to the swamp where we belong. 637 00:52:12,050 --> 00:52:13,468 Fiona, please! 638 00:52:13,552 --> 00:52:16,930 Let's not be rash, darling. You can't go anywhere right now. 639 00:53:00,891 --> 00:53:05,812 Look, told you he was here. Look at him! Quiet. Look at him. 640 00:53:08,189 --> 00:53:09,733 Good morning, sleepyhead. 641 00:53:12,569 --> 00:53:14,070 We love your kitty! 642 00:53:14,738 --> 00:53:17,949 - My head... - Here, I fetched a pail of water. 643 00:53:18,033 --> 00:53:19,534 Thanks. 644 00:53:27,542 --> 00:53:29,878 A cute button nose? 645 00:53:30,295 --> 00:53:32,297 Thick, wavy locks? 646 00:53:33,215 --> 00:53:35,258 Taut, round buttocks? 647 00:53:36,218 --> 00:53:37,677 I'm... 648 00:53:37,761 --> 00:53:39,095 - Gorgeous! - I'll say. 649 00:53:39,179 --> 00:53:41,264 I'm Jill. What's your name? 650 00:53:41,348 --> 00:53:45,060 - Shrek. - Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe? 651 00:53:45,143 --> 00:53:47,437 - You're tense. - I want to rub his shoulders. 652 00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:50,273 - I got it covered. - I don't have anything to rub. 653 00:53:50,357 --> 00:53:51,900 Get in line. 654 00:53:51,983 --> 00:53:53,318 Have you seen my donkey? 655 00:53:53,401 --> 00:53:54,903 Who are you calling Donkey? 656 00:53:56,780 --> 00:53:59,908 - Donkey? You're a... - A stallion, baby! 657 00:53:59,991 --> 00:54:03,161 I can whinny. I can count. 658 00:54:03,495 --> 00:54:06,456 Look at me, Shrek! I'm trotting! 659 00:54:07,332 --> 00:54:10,126 That's some quality potion. What's in that stuff? 660 00:54:10,418 --> 00:54:13,463 "Oh, don't take the potion, Mr. Boss, it's very bad." 661 00:54:14,798 --> 00:54:19,177 "Warning: Side effects may include burning, itching, oozing, weeping. 662 00:54:19,469 --> 00:54:22,931 "Not intended for heart patients or those with... nervous disorders." 663 00:54:23,014 --> 00:54:25,725 I'm trotting, I'm trotting in place! 664 00:54:28,144 --> 00:54:29,271 What? 665 00:54:30,313 --> 00:54:33,108 "To make the effects of this potion permanent 666 00:54:33,191 --> 00:54:36,778 "the drinker must obtain his true love's kiss by midnight." 667 00:54:36,861 --> 00:54:39,114 Midnight? Why is it always midnight? 668 00:54:39,197 --> 00:54:42,033 - Pick me! I'll be your true love! - I'll be your true love. 669 00:54:42,117 --> 00:54:44,703 I'll be true... enough. 670 00:54:44,786 --> 00:54:48,081 Look, ladies, I already have a true love. 671 00:54:49,374 --> 00:54:53,545 And take it from me, Boss. You are going to have one satisfied Princess. 672 00:54:54,087 --> 00:54:56,840 And let's face it. You are a lot easier on the eyes. 673 00:54:56,923 --> 00:54:59,217 Inside you're the same old mean, salty... 674 00:54:59,467 --> 00:55:01,469 - Easy. - ...cantankerous, foul, 675 00:55:01,553 --> 00:55:03,179 angry ogre you always been. 676 00:55:03,471 --> 00:55:05,640 And you're still the same annoying donkey. 677 00:55:05,724 --> 00:55:07,350 Yeah. 678 00:55:10,478 --> 00:55:13,857 Look out, Princess. Here comes the new me. 679 00:55:15,150 --> 00:55:18,945 First things first. We need to get you out of those clothes. 680 00:55:22,699 --> 00:55:24,326 - Ready? - Ready! 681 00:55:29,039 --> 00:55:30,332 Driver, stop! 682 00:55:30,415 --> 00:55:33,501 Oh, God! Help me, please! My racing days are over! 683 00:55:33,585 --> 00:55:37,130 I'm blind! Tell the truth. Will I ever be able to play the violin again? 684 00:55:37,214 --> 00:55:41,176 You poor creature! Is there anything I can do for you? 685 00:55:41,968 --> 00:55:43,678 Well, there is one thing. 686 00:55:43,762 --> 00:55:46,514 Take off the powdered wig and step away from your drawers. 687 00:55:50,852 --> 00:55:52,812 - Not bad. - Not bad at all. 688 00:56:01,071 --> 00:56:04,157 Father? Is everything all right, Father? 689 00:56:09,412 --> 00:56:13,375 Thank you, gentlemen! Someday, I will repay you. 690 00:56:13,458 --> 00:56:16,920 Unless, of course, I can't find you or if I forget. 691 00:57:01,756 --> 00:57:05,218 Tell Princess Fiona her husband, Sir Shrek, is here to see her. 692 00:57:44,049 --> 00:57:45,800 Hello, handsome. 693 00:57:49,054 --> 00:57:52,265 - Princess! - Donkey? 694 00:57:52,557 --> 00:57:54,684 Wow! That potion worked on you, too? 695 00:57:54,768 --> 00:57:55,977 What potion? 696 00:57:56,061 --> 00:57:59,231 Shrek and I took some magic potion. And well... 697 00:57:59,314 --> 00:58:01,483 Now, we're sexy! 698 00:58:08,073 --> 00:58:10,867 For you, baby... I could be. 699 00:58:10,951 --> 00:58:13,203 - Yeah, you wish. - Donkey, where is Shrek? 700 00:58:13,286 --> 00:58:15,538 He went inside looking for you. 701 00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:26,049 You want to dance, pretty boy? 702 00:58:28,885 --> 00:58:32,556 Are you going so soon? Don't you want to see your wife? 703 00:58:38,645 --> 00:58:41,398 Aye, Fiona. It is me. 704 00:58:41,690 --> 00:58:43,275 What happened to your voice? 705 00:58:43,650 --> 00:58:47,529 The potion changed a lot of things, Fiona. 706 00:58:47,612 --> 00:58:50,198 But not the way I feel about you. 707 00:58:52,617 --> 00:58:54,119 Charming? 708 00:58:54,202 --> 00:58:55,412 Do you think so? 709 00:58:56,079 --> 00:58:59,416 Dad? I was so hoping you'd approve. 710 00:59:00,083 --> 00:59:03,169 - Who are you? - Mom, it's me, Shrek. 711 00:59:03,253 --> 00:59:06,673 I know you never get a second chance at a first impression 712 00:59:06,756 --> 00:59:09,134 but, well, what do you think? 713 00:59:23,940 --> 00:59:27,110 Oh, shoot! I don't think they can hear us, pigeon. 714 00:59:29,696 --> 00:59:33,116 Don't you think you've already messed her life up enough? 715 00:59:33,950 --> 00:59:36,119 I just wanted her to be happy. 716 00:59:36,202 --> 00:59:38,538 And now she can be. 717 00:59:38,622 --> 00:59:40,916 Oh, sweetheart. 718 00:59:40,999 --> 00:59:44,461 She's finally found the prince of her dreams. 719 00:59:44,544 --> 00:59:48,506 But look at me. Look what I've done for her. 720 00:59:48,798 --> 00:59:52,052 It's time you stop living in a fairy tale, Shrek. 721 00:59:52,135 --> 00:59:56,139 She's a Princess. And you're an ogre. 722 00:59:56,389 --> 01:00:00,310 That's something no amount of potion will ever change. 723 01:00:08,026 --> 01:00:09,611 But... 724 01:00:09,694 --> 01:00:11,196 I love her. 725 01:00:11,279 --> 01:00:13,281 If you really love her... 726 01:00:14,157 --> 01:00:16,159 you'll let her go. 727 01:00:23,333 --> 01:00:26,336 What's going on? Where are you going? 728 01:00:32,509 --> 01:00:37,013 You wouldn't have had anything to do with this, would you, Harold? 729 01:00:42,435 --> 01:00:45,272 People just ain't no good 730 01:00:48,024 --> 01:00:51,486 I think that's well understood 731 01:00:51,570 --> 01:00:53,196 There you go, boys. 732 01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:55,240 Just leave the bottle, Doris. 733 01:00:56,157 --> 01:00:57,617 Why the long face? 734 01:00:58,660 --> 01:01:01,246 It was all just a stupid mistake. 735 01:01:02,205 --> 01:01:06,042 I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place. 736 01:01:08,253 --> 01:01:10,213 I hate Mondays. 737 01:01:10,297 --> 01:01:14,009 I can't believe you're gonna walk away from the best thing that happened to you. 738 01:01:14,092 --> 01:01:15,468 What choice do I have? 739 01:01:15,552 --> 01:01:19,139 She loves that pretty boy, Prince Charming. 740 01:01:19,222 --> 01:01:21,308 Come on. Is he really that good-looking? 741 01:01:21,391 --> 01:01:23,852 Are you kidding? He's gorgeous! 742 01:01:23,935 --> 01:01:27,355 He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels. 743 01:01:27,439 --> 01:01:28,899 He sounds dreamy. 744 01:01:29,900 --> 01:01:33,236 Shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better. 745 01:01:35,989 --> 01:01:40,076 Look, guys. It's for the best. 746 01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:44,915 Mom and Dad approve, and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of. 747 01:01:44,998 --> 01:01:46,833 Everybody wins. 748 01:01:47,876 --> 01:01:49,127 Except for you. 749 01:01:49,669 --> 01:01:52,923 I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona. 750 01:01:55,091 --> 01:01:57,510 And that's why I have to let her go. 751 01:01:58,303 --> 01:02:01,556 Excuse me, is she here? 752 01:02:01,640 --> 01:02:03,600 She's in the back. 753 01:02:05,435 --> 01:02:06,686 Hello again. 754 01:02:11,107 --> 01:02:13,068 Fairy Godmother. Charming. 755 01:02:14,110 --> 01:02:17,614 You better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold. 756 01:02:18,323 --> 01:02:23,411 I'm afraid Fiona isn't really... warming up to Prince Charming. 757 01:02:23,495 --> 01:02:27,040 - FYI, not my fault. - No, of course it's not, dear. 758 01:02:27,123 --> 01:02:31,419 I mean, how charming can I be... when I have to pretend I'm that dreadful ogre? 759 01:02:31,503 --> 01:02:33,588 No! No, it's nobody's fault. 760 01:02:33,672 --> 01:02:36,925 Perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off. OK? 761 01:02:37,008 --> 01:02:41,346 - What? - You can't force... someone to fall in love! 762 01:02:41,429 --> 01:02:44,599 I beg to differ. I do it all the time! 763 01:02:44,683 --> 01:02:49,771 Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses. 764 01:02:49,854 --> 01:02:51,106 Which will be Charming. 765 01:02:52,941 --> 01:02:55,277 - No. - What did you say? 766 01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:57,946 I can't. I won't do it. 767 01:02:58,029 --> 01:02:59,614 Oh, yes, you will. 768 01:02:59,698 --> 01:03:03,118 If you remember... I helped you with your happily ever after. 769 01:03:03,201 --> 01:03:06,705 And I can take it away just as easily. 770 01:03:06,788 --> 01:03:09,958 Is that what you want? Is it? 771 01:03:10,959 --> 01:03:13,503 - No. - Good boy. 772 01:03:13,879 --> 01:03:17,382 Now we have to go. I need to do Charming's hair before the ball. 773 01:03:17,465 --> 01:03:19,593 He's hopeless. He's high in the front. 774 01:03:19,676 --> 01:03:22,846 He can never get to the back. You need someone to do the back. 775 01:03:23,555 --> 01:03:25,682 - Thank you, Mother. - Mother? 776 01:03:27,017 --> 01:03:29,728 Mary! A talking horse! 777 01:03:29,811 --> 01:03:31,646 The ogre! 778 01:03:32,689 --> 01:03:36,693 Stop them! Thieves! Bandits! Stop them! 779 01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:42,032 Well, the abs are fab and it's gluteus to the maximus here at tonight's 780 01:03:42,115 --> 01:03:44,784 Far, Far Away Royal Ball blowout! 781 01:03:44,868 --> 01:03:47,954 The coaches are lined up as the cream of the crop pours out of them 782 01:03:48,038 --> 01:03:49,831 like Miss Muffet's curds and whey. 783 01:03:49,915 --> 01:03:54,502 Everyone who's anyone has turned out to honor Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek. 784 01:03:54,586 --> 01:03:57,589 And, oh my, the outfits look gorgeous! 785 01:03:57,672 --> 01:03:58,924 Look! Hansel and Gretel! 786 01:03:59,883 --> 01:04:01,718 What the heck are the crumbs for? 787 01:04:01,801 --> 01:04:04,846 And right behind them, Tom Thumb and Thumbelina! 788 01:04:04,930 --> 01:04:06,973 Oh, aren't they adorable! 789 01:04:07,557 --> 01:04:10,393 Here comes Sleeping Beauty! 790 01:04:10,894 --> 01:04:12,729 Tired old thing. 791 01:04:13,480 --> 01:04:16,358 Who's this? Who's this? Who is this? 792 01:04:17,400 --> 01:04:19,694 It's the one, it's the only... 793 01:04:19,778 --> 01:04:22,364 It's the Fairy Godmother! 794 01:04:22,447 --> 01:04:25,575 Hello, Far, Far Away! 795 01:04:26,743 --> 01:04:28,912 Can I get a whoop whoop? 796 01:04:30,288 --> 01:04:33,708 May all your endings be happy and... 797 01:04:33,792 --> 01:04:36,378 Well, you know the rest! 798 01:04:36,920 --> 01:04:39,965 We'll be right back with the Royal Far, Far Away Ball 799 01:04:40,048 --> 01:04:41,883 after these messages. 800 01:04:41,967 --> 01:04:43,510 I hate these ball shows. 801 01:04:43,802 --> 01:04:46,680 They bore me to tears. Flip over to "Wheel of Torture"! 802 01:04:46,972 --> 01:04:50,433 I'm not flipping anywhere, sir, until I see Shrek and Fiona. 803 01:04:50,934 --> 01:04:53,311 Whizzes on you guys. 804 01:04:53,395 --> 01:04:55,480 Hey, mice, pass me a buffalo wing! 805 01:04:55,564 --> 01:04:57,732 No, to your left. Your left! 806 01:05:00,777 --> 01:05:04,072 - Tonight on "Knights"... - Now here's a good show! 807 01:05:04,155 --> 01:05:07,492 We got a white bronco heading east into the forest. Requesting backup. 808 01:05:07,576 --> 01:05:09,619 It's time for the men in steel to teach these madcap mammals... 809 01:05:09,911 --> 01:05:12,455 their "devil may mare" attitudes just won't fly. 810 01:05:13,832 --> 01:05:17,586 Why you grabbing me? Police brutality! 811 01:05:18,795 --> 01:05:20,839 I have to talk to Princess Fiona! 812 01:05:20,922 --> 01:05:22,966 We warned you! 813 01:05:23,049 --> 01:05:25,927 Will they get away with it? Or did someone let the cat out of the bag? 814 01:05:26,011 --> 01:05:27,804 You, capitalist pig dogs! 815 01:05:33,059 --> 01:05:34,728 - Catnip! - That's not mine. 816 01:05:35,812 --> 01:05:37,898 Find Princess Fiona! 817 01:05:38,440 --> 01:05:39,691 I'm a donkey! 818 01:05:39,774 --> 01:05:42,402 Tell her Shrek... I'm her husband, Shrek! 819 01:05:43,570 --> 01:05:45,030 Quick! Rewind it! 820 01:05:46,031 --> 01:05:47,824 I'm her husband, Shrek! 821 01:06:16,436 --> 01:06:17,479 Darling? 822 01:06:18,772 --> 01:06:20,523 I thought I might find you here. 823 01:06:20,607 --> 01:06:24,110 How about a nice hot cup of tea before the ball? 824 01:06:25,362 --> 01:06:26,696 I'm not going. 825 01:06:26,780 --> 01:06:29,866 The whole Kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage. 826 01:06:29,950 --> 01:06:33,828 There's just one problem. That's not my husband. 827 01:06:35,622 --> 01:06:36,665 I mean, look at him. 828 01:06:38,959 --> 01:06:40,835 Yes, he is a bit different, but... 829 01:06:40,919 --> 01:06:43,672 people change for the ones they love. 830 01:06:43,755 --> 01:06:46,925 You'd be surprised how much I changed for your mother. 831 01:06:47,008 --> 01:06:48,760 Change? 832 01:06:48,843 --> 01:06:50,929 He's completely lost his mind! 833 01:06:51,221 --> 01:06:54,683 Why not come down to the ball and give him another chance? 834 01:06:54,766 --> 01:06:57,686 I mean, you might find you like this new Shrek. 835 01:06:57,769 --> 01:07:00,939 But it's the old one I fell in love with, Dad. 836 01:07:01,982 --> 01:07:04,067 I'd give anything to have him back. 837 01:07:07,279 --> 01:07:10,448 Darling! That's mine. Decaf. 838 01:07:10,532 --> 01:07:12,367 Otherwise I'm up all night. 839 01:07:19,291 --> 01:07:20,917 Thanks. 840 01:07:23,420 --> 01:07:27,674 I got to get out of here! You can't lock us up like this! Let me go! 841 01:07:27,757 --> 01:07:32,053 And my Miranda rights? You should say I have the right to remain silent. 842 01:07:32,137 --> 01:07:34,389 Nobody said I have the right to remain silent! 843 01:07:34,472 --> 01:07:37,058 You have the right to remain silent. 844 01:07:37,142 --> 01:07:39,728 What you lack is the capacity. 845 01:07:39,811 --> 01:07:43,273 I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad. 846 01:07:43,356 --> 01:07:45,609 Shrek? Donkey? 847 01:07:46,610 --> 01:07:48,153 Too late. 848 01:07:48,236 --> 01:07:51,448 Gingy! Pinocchio! Get us out of here! 849 01:07:56,995 --> 01:07:58,914 Fire in ze hole! 850 01:08:17,682 --> 01:08:18,975 Look out below! 851 01:08:21,478 --> 01:08:23,480 Quick! Tell a lie! 852 01:08:23,563 --> 01:08:26,316 - What should I say? - Anything, but quick! 853 01:08:26,399 --> 01:08:29,402 Say something crazy like "I'm wearing ladies' underwear!" 854 01:08:29,486 --> 01:08:31,529 I am wearing ladies' underwear. 855 01:08:35,366 --> 01:08:37,994 - Are you? - I most certainly am not! 856 01:08:38,954 --> 01:08:41,289 It looks like you most certainly am are! 857 01:08:41,373 --> 01:08:42,958 - I am not! - What kind? 858 01:08:43,040 --> 01:08:45,669 - It's a thong! - They're briefs! 859 01:08:45,752 --> 01:08:47,045 - Are not. - Are too! 860 01:08:47,128 --> 01:08:48,880 - Are not! - Are too! 861 01:08:48,964 --> 01:08:50,674 Here we go. Hang tight. 862 01:08:54,761 --> 01:08:55,844 Hey, wait! 863 01:09:01,142 --> 01:09:03,520 - Excuse me? - What? Puss! 864 01:09:03,603 --> 01:09:05,730 Pardon me, would you mind letting me go? 865 01:09:05,813 --> 01:09:09,651 - Sorry, boss. - We've got to stop that kiss! 866 01:09:09,734 --> 01:09:11,570 I thought you was going to let her go. 867 01:09:11,652 --> 01:09:13,989 I was, but I can't let them do this to Fiona. 868 01:09:14,072 --> 01:09:17,116 Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's coming around! 869 01:09:17,409 --> 01:09:21,663 We'll never get in. The castle is guarded and there is a moat and everything! 870 01:09:23,123 --> 01:09:28,085 Folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek... without a Popsicle stick. 871 01:09:32,382 --> 01:09:36,219 - What? - Do you still know the Muffin Man? 872 01:09:36,303 --> 01:09:39,638 Well, sure! He's down on Drury Lane. Why? 873 01:09:39,931 --> 01:09:42,308 Because we'll need flour. 874 01:09:42,392 --> 01:09:45,395 Lots and lots of flour. 875 01:09:50,232 --> 01:09:54,613 Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man! We've got a big order to fill! 876 01:09:58,658 --> 01:10:00,619 It's alive! 877 01:10:10,253 --> 01:10:12,672 Run, run, run, as fast you can! 878 01:10:19,846 --> 01:10:21,932 Go, baby, go! 879 01:10:23,725 --> 01:10:26,478 There it is, Mongo! To the castle! 880 01:10:26,561 --> 01:10:31,608 No, you great stupid pastry! Come on! 881 01:10:38,698 --> 01:10:41,409 Mongo! Down here! Look at the pony! 882 01:10:42,994 --> 01:10:45,455 That's right! Follow the pretty pony! 883 01:10:45,538 --> 01:10:48,250 Pretty pony wants to play at the castle! 884 01:10:51,586 --> 01:10:55,465 Ladies and gentlemen. Presenting... Princess Fiona 885 01:10:55,549 --> 01:10:58,802 and her new husband... Prince Shrek. 886 01:11:00,804 --> 01:11:02,722 Shrek, what are you doing? 887 01:11:02,806 --> 01:11:05,475 I'm just playing the part, Fiona. 888 01:11:06,142 --> 01:11:08,103 Is that glitter on your lips? 889 01:11:08,812 --> 01:11:11,106 Cherry flavored. Want to taste? 890 01:11:11,815 --> 01:11:15,151 - What is with you? - But, Muffin Cake... 891 01:11:18,154 --> 01:11:20,156 C Minor, put it in C Minor. 892 01:11:21,199 --> 01:11:22,659 Ladies and gentlemen. 893 01:11:25,245 --> 01:11:28,081 I'd like to dedicate this song to... 894 01:11:28,373 --> 01:11:31,710 Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek. 895 01:11:32,711 --> 01:11:34,462 Fiona, my Princess. 896 01:11:34,546 --> 01:11:37,048 Will you honor me with a dance? 897 01:11:37,674 --> 01:11:42,178 Where have all the good men gone 898 01:11:42,429 --> 01:11:45,181 And where are all the gods? 899 01:11:46,433 --> 01:11:50,270 Where's the streetwise Hercules 900 01:11:50,353 --> 01:11:53,899 To fight the rising odds? 901 01:11:57,152 --> 01:11:58,612 Since when do you dance? 902 01:11:58,695 --> 01:12:01,531 Fiona, my dearest... if there's one thing I know, 903 01:12:01,615 --> 01:12:04,784 it's that love is full of surprises. 904 01:12:05,076 --> 01:12:07,537 Late at night I toss and I turn 905 01:12:07,621 --> 01:12:12,667 And I dream of what I need... 906 01:12:15,045 --> 01:12:16,379 Hit it! 907 01:12:19,299 --> 01:12:20,759 I need a hero! 908 01:12:21,384 --> 01:12:24,888 All right, big fellow! Let's crash this party! 909 01:12:26,306 --> 01:12:28,058 Man the catapults! 910 01:12:28,683 --> 01:12:30,894 Aim! Fire! 911 01:12:32,020 --> 01:12:34,940 - Brace yourselves! - Purty! 912 01:12:42,447 --> 01:12:44,741 Not the gumdrop button! 913 01:12:51,122 --> 01:12:52,916 Incoming! 914 01:12:54,417 --> 01:12:55,627 All right! 915 01:12:58,588 --> 01:13:03,718 Somewhere after midnight In my wildest fantasy 916 01:13:04,427 --> 01:13:06,012 Go, Mongo! Go! 917 01:13:09,683 --> 01:13:11,893 Man the cauldrons! 918 01:13:16,773 --> 01:13:18,775 After you, Mongo. 919 01:13:21,444 --> 01:13:25,740 - That's it! Heave! - Ho! Watch out! 920 01:13:33,707 --> 01:13:35,584 More heat, less foam! 921 01:13:35,667 --> 01:13:38,420 Up where the mountains Meet the heavens above 922 01:13:38,503 --> 01:13:41,423 Out where the lightning splits the sea 923 01:13:41,506 --> 01:13:46,428 I could swear there is someone Somewhere watching me 924 01:13:46,511 --> 01:13:48,013 Heave! 925 01:14:31,181 --> 01:14:33,350 Be good. 926 01:14:36,728 --> 01:14:38,730 He needs me! Let me go! 927 01:14:53,203 --> 01:14:54,537 Puss! 928 01:14:57,540 --> 01:14:59,960 Go! Go! Your lady needs you! Go! 929 01:15:02,796 --> 01:15:05,215 Today, I repay my debt. 930 01:15:14,224 --> 01:15:15,809 En garde! 931 01:15:19,104 --> 01:15:22,232 He's gotta be strong And he's gotta be fast 932 01:15:22,315 --> 01:15:25,860 And he's gotta be fresh from the fight 933 01:15:25,944 --> 01:15:27,821 - I need a hero - Stop! 934 01:15:33,368 --> 01:15:36,580 Hey, you! Back away from my wife. 935 01:15:38,748 --> 01:15:43,420 You couldn't just go back to your swamp... and leave well enough alone. 936 01:15:43,503 --> 01:15:45,630 - Now! - Pigs und blanket! 937 01:15:48,425 --> 01:15:49,968 Pinocchio! Get the wand! 938 01:15:50,051 --> 01:15:51,803 I see London! I see France! 939 01:15:55,432 --> 01:15:56,933 I'm a real boy! 940 01:16:06,693 --> 01:16:07,736 Catch! 941 01:16:08,987 --> 01:16:10,113 Donkey! 942 01:16:14,367 --> 01:16:15,869 I'm a real boy. 943 01:16:20,790 --> 01:16:22,500 That's mine! 944 01:16:26,630 --> 01:16:28,298 Pray for mercy, from Puss... 945 01:16:28,381 --> 01:16:29,966 And Donkey! 946 01:16:30,050 --> 01:16:32,969 She's taken the potion! Kiss her now! 947 01:17:01,790 --> 01:17:05,627 You were supposed to give her the potion! 948 01:17:05,710 --> 01:17:09,589 Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea. 949 01:17:09,673 --> 01:17:10,966 Mommy! 950 01:17:11,049 --> 01:17:12,592 Mommy? 951 01:17:13,426 --> 01:17:15,262 I told you... 952 01:17:15,554 --> 01:17:19,641 ogres don't live happily ever after. 953 01:17:43,832 --> 01:17:44,874 Oh, Dad! 954 01:17:49,129 --> 01:17:51,047 - Is he...? - Yup. 955 01:17:52,424 --> 01:17:54,175 He croaked. 956 01:17:59,598 --> 01:18:01,933 I'd hoped you'd never see me like this. 957 01:18:02,183 --> 01:18:04,352 And he gave you a hard time! 958 01:18:04,436 --> 01:18:06,646 No, no, he's right. I'm sorry. 959 01:18:07,522 --> 01:18:08,690 To both of you. 960 01:18:08,773 --> 01:18:11,735 I only wanted what was best for Fiona. 961 01:18:12,360 --> 01:18:13,737 But I can see now 962 01:18:14,863 --> 01:18:16,698 she already has it. 963 01:18:17,741 --> 01:18:19,034 Shrek, Fiona... 964 01:18:20,076 --> 01:18:23,747 will you accept an old frog's apologies 965 01:18:24,915 --> 01:18:26,291 and my blessing? 966 01:18:29,002 --> 01:18:33,715 I'm sorry, Lillian. I just wish I could be the man you deserve. 967 01:18:34,758 --> 01:18:40,138 You're more that man today than you ever were. Warts and all. 968 01:18:44,142 --> 01:18:46,478 Boss! The Happily Ever After Potion! 969 01:18:46,561 --> 01:18:47,646 Midnight! 970 01:18:48,438 --> 01:18:51,358 Fiona... is this what you want? 971 01:18:52,400 --> 01:18:54,736 To be this way forever? 972 01:18:54,819 --> 01:18:57,906 - What? - Because if you kiss me now 973 01:18:57,989 --> 01:18:59,950 we can stay like this. 974 01:19:00,742 --> 01:19:02,327 You'd do that? 975 01:19:03,078 --> 01:19:05,038 - For me? - Yes. 976 01:19:13,838 --> 01:19:16,341 I want what any princess wants. 977 01:19:16,800 --> 01:19:19,469 To live happily ever after... 978 01:19:23,557 --> 01:19:26,226 with the ogre I married. 979 01:19:29,312 --> 01:19:32,315 Whatever happens, I must not cry! 980 01:19:32,399 --> 01:19:34,484 You cannot make me cry! 981 01:20:25,911 --> 01:20:28,747 You still look like a noble steed to me. 982 01:20:32,876 --> 01:20:35,587 Now, where were we? 983 01:20:36,630 --> 01:20:38,006 I remember. 984 01:20:45,764 --> 01:20:48,642 Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta? 985 01:20:58,068 --> 01:20:59,569 Puss and Donkey, y'all... 986 01:21:12,332 --> 01:21:13,667 Here we go! 987 01:21:44,114 --> 01:21:45,490 Hey gorgeous! 988 01:22:00,547 --> 01:22:02,215 Sing it one more time now! 989 01:22:09,723 --> 01:22:11,600 Donkey, that's Spanish! 990 01:24:06,631 --> 01:24:09,843 All by myself 991 01:24:10,135 --> 01:24:11,595 Don't wanna be 992 01:24:11,678 --> 01:24:15,557 All by myself anymore 993 01:24:16,766 --> 01:24:20,228 We are off to the Kit-Kat Club. Come on, join us. 994 01:24:20,770 --> 01:24:24,274 Thanks, compadre. I'm... I'm not in the mood. 995 01:24:24,357 --> 01:24:27,736 We will cheer you up! Find you a nice burro! 996 01:24:29,529 --> 01:24:30,614 Hey, baby! 997 01:24:32,741 --> 01:24:34,784 Hey, that's my girl! Yeah! All right! 998 01:24:37,120 --> 01:24:38,330 Baby, where you been? 999 01:24:39,623 --> 01:24:43,585 I'm sorry, too. I should have stayed. But Shrek had this thing he had to do. 1000 01:24:43,668 --> 01:24:45,212 What? Say it one more time. 1001 01:24:45,295 --> 01:24:47,631 What you talking about? Are you serious? 1002 01:24:58,892 --> 01:25:01,269 Look at our little mutant babies! 1003 01:25:03,897 --> 01:25:05,899 I got to get a job. 74164

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