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1
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(Wind whistling)
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(Donkey braying)
3
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Watson: The legend of Sherlock Holmes
4
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begins on his first day of school.
5
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To us, he is the greatest detective
of all time,
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00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:43,096
but back then, he was just...
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Well, the new kid.
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But, mother, I don't need school.
I've got books.
9
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:53,398
(Sighs) Sherlock.
You need to be with other kids.
10
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:56,730
Have friends, play games, kiss a girl.
11
00:01:57,492 --> 00:02:01,701
Open your heart, Sherlock,
and the world will open itself to you.
12
00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:03,991
All right, mother.
13
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,663
Everything will be fine.
14
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:10,961
Watson: But things were not going
to be fine. Not fine at all.
15
00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:13,460
Mother, as usual, was mistaken.
16
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:14,630
We can do this.
17
00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,880
Look, the new kid.
18
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,383
- He looks poor!
- Hello.
19
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,760
My name is Sherlock Holmes,
and I'm looking forward
20
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,037
to being friends
with each and every one...
21
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,471
Get him! “What?
22
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:26,562
(Children yelling)
23
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,638
Watson: School was not easy
for Sherlock.
24
00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:30,472
He was picked on constantly.
25
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,086
- They were relentless.
- Girl: He's weird!
26
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:35,022
What kind of stupid dog is this?
27
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,478
Nol
28
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:44,073
Watson: As time passed,
young Sherlock remained alone,
29
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,995
keeping mostly to himself.
30
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:51,328
His spirits had dampened,
but his heart was still alive.
31
00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,714
Young Holmes:
A beautiful girl has captured my heart.
32
00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:58,042
Her name is bridgette.
33
00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:02,004
I am overcome
with such true feelings and emotions.
34
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:04,059
- She is the moon... (Gasps)
- Boy: Hey, Sherlock.
35
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,893
Look, Sherlock, we feel bad.
We've been awfully naughty with you.
36
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,687
Girl: Would you like to kiss
bridgette over there?
37
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,139
She wants to kiss you.
38
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:16,359
- How about it, Sherlock?
- She wants to kiss me?
39
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,152
She told me this morning.
40
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,196
I should like that an awful lot.
41
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,490
Put this on, then.
42
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,067
A blindfold?
43
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:25,993
This is how everyone kisses.
44
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,373
Uh, is it? Are you sure
she wants to kiss me?
45
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- Boy: 'Course she does.
- (Children laughing)
46
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,456
Girl: She's really shy.
47
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:39,249
Oh, Sherlock, how I've dreamed
of this moment.
48
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,710
Now lean in for your kiss.
49
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,054
(Children laughing)
50
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,057
(Kisses) (Children laughing)
51
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:52,684
(Braying)
52
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:58,102
- (Gasps)
- Boy 1: He kissed a donkey's ass!
53
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:02,943
Boy 3: Oh, he's gonna cry, isn't he?
Boy 4: He likes you!
54
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,820
Here comes the waterworks!
55
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,448
Children: (Chanting) Cry! Cry! Cry!
56
00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:10,201
Cry! Cry! Cry!
57
00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:12,283
- Watson: His heart had betrayed him.
- (Laughter)
58
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,331
And so, from that day forward,
59
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:18,084
he vowed he would lock away
all feelings.
60
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:19,711
(Sniffles, grunts)
61
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,338
He would become a thinking machine,
62
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,920
an unfeeling automaton.
63
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,594
What's he doing?
64
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,427
He's un-crying?
65
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,272
Watson:
Without the confusion of feelings,
66
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,725
without emotions to distract him,
67
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:42,233
- he could devote his entire brain...
- (Kids gasp)
68
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:45,532
To solving crimes,
his greatest passion.
69
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:50,033
The ink on your right hand,
that's the headmaster's brand of ink,
70
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,160
which means you went into his desk
for the answers on his test.
71
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,582
Expelled!
72
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:58,662
And, thulby, the dirt on your boots
is freshly dried Clay,
73
00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:01,999
- which means you snuck off the grounds.
- Oh, shite.
74
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:03,208
- Expelled!
- (Gavel bangs)
75
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,509
And I smell alcohol
76
00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:05,865
- on your breath, Jane.
- (Gavel bangs)
77
00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:08,096
And, Seamus, you've got
a bruise on your neck
78
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:10,640
that fits the radius of a girl's mouth.
79
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:11,788
- But I'm in love.
- (Gavel bangs)
80
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,748
And those are tobacco stains
on your fingers, Nancy.
81
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:14,832
Headmaster: Expelled!
(Gavel bangs)
82
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,437
And I shall have you all expelled!
83
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:18,516
Expelled, expelled, expelled!
84
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:26,906
- The big kids can be jerks here.
- Hmm.
85
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:31,324
Judging by your smell
of vinegar and sawdust,
86
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,904
you are the janitor's son.
87
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,864
But someday,
you're going to be a doctor.
88
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:35,960
Really?
89
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:39,081
It's elementary, my dear...
What's your name?
90
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,709
- John Watson.
- Sherlock Holmes.
91
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,542
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go learn.
92
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,799
The circumference of a cone
is a direct ratio of the circular...
93
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:52,974
Watson: And so every professor at
the school dedicated themselves solely
94
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:56,098
to teaching the young Sherlock Holmes.
95
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,601
Martin Luther's reformation
was actually the first...
96
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,102
Watson: His mind was transformed
97
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:05,062
from an unrefined hunk of gold
fo a razor-sharp diamond.
98
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,566
(Speaking mandarin)
99
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:07,700
Square root of pi.
100
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:09,535
1492.
101
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:10,734
From the novel...
102
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:13,946
Magnesium sulfate. Plato.
103
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:18,701
- The fulcrum is insufficient.
- Good answer.
104
00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:21,582
- Questions?
- Next lesson.
105
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,956
Jj
106
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,165
(singing) All aboard!
107
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:29,218
Hip-hop's dead, that's what
they said on the news
108
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,513
nah, it's still alive,
but it's getting confused
109
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,137
so there's no time to waste,
not a second to lose
110
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,718
'cause the clocks don't stop
when you set 'em to snooze
111
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,474
and it just don't stop
112
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,056
- 'cause the time rolls
- On and on and on
113
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,688
- to the next stop
- And it just won't stop
114
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:46,064
- because life goes
- On and on and on
115
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,916
- to the next stop
- What, that's how it goes
116
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,448
when you hop on the line,
you'll find anything you like
117
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,901
but you can't buy time
and there ain't no pause
118
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:54,031
no press rewind
119
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,987
so you don't want
to get left behind
120
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,916
boy: Extral extra! Read all about it!
121
00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:02,164
Moriarty's crime spree over!
122
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:05,918
Professor James moriarty
faces justice today!
123
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,500
The Napoleon of crime on trial!
124
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,756
Greatest criminal in the empire!
125
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:11,847
That's fake news.
126
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,595
Stop this trial at once!
127
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:21,180
L, Sherlock Holmes, have solved the case
of professor James moriarty.
128
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,856
Wonderful. Wonderful, Holmes.
129
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,731
A dramatic entrance worthy
of your greatest achievement.
130
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:32,070
Watson, did you notice my emphasis
on "professor James moriarty"?
131
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,525
Yes, with the finger, yes.
132
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,156
Much better than the hand. Yes.
133
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:38,238
Instead of the karate chop,
I went to the index finger.
134
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,664
Yes, it's the best one yet.
135
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:42,788
This is the moment
everyone's been waiting for. Right here.
136
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:45,962
Yes, and they're literally
waiting for it now.
137
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,877
- Oh, yes.
- You must get dressed.
138
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:48,968
Yes? Very well.
139
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,792
There we are. There are your things.
140
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,840
Remember, trial of the century.
Yes.
141
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:56,890
We have but... oh, let's see now.
Just 16 minutes left, Holmes.
142
00:07:56,977 --> 00:08:00,060
- (Gavel bangs)
- Judge: Professor James moriarty.
143
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,808
You have been the organizer
of half that is evil
144
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:06,141
and all that goes undetected
in this great city.
145
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:11,359
Today, you are charged
with murder in the first degree,
146
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:14,907
but all the witnesses have died.
147
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:19,787
Without said witnesses,
I have no choice but to set you free.
148
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,489
(Gallery murmuring)
149
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,243
Inspector lestrade,
150
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:28,421
you simply must take
better care of your witnesses.
151
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,500
(Gallery jeering)
152
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,209
Mark my words,
153
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,761
Sherlock Holmes is on his way
and, with him,
154
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,841
the evidence that will damn you
to the noose.
155
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:42,769
Then we should all pray he arrives soon,
for, on the strike of noon,
156
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,188
I shall have to release this menace.
157
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:46,515
Sherlock will be here.
158
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,193
He is about to burst
through those doors right now.
159
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,325
- Nearly there?
- Holmes: Nearly there.
160
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:02,247
A sniff of morning cocaine
always helps the brain. Ah!
161
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:05,496
Come now, Sherlock.
We mustn't let that trial conclude.
162
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:09,000
For this occasion,
I have selected a new hat.
163
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:12,715
From now on, when people utter
the name "Sherlock Holmes,"
164
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:15,794
they will picture this.
165
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,803
Brilliant. Can we go?
166
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:23,267
Your furrowed brow
betrays your lying lips.
167
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:24,560
Oh, no.
168
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:25,887
Not to worry.
169
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,146
Ta-da!
170
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,269
- Hey, there, cowboy.
- (Laughs)
171
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,200
- That's the one. That's the one.
- Bang, bang.
172
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,769
We should leave, yes?
173
00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,570
- Oh!
- Aye, aye.
174
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,318
I say, I like that one very much.
175
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,695
You don't want to be late, Mr. Holmes.
176
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,987
(Gasps) Mrs. Hudson,
what do you think of this one?
177
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:46,166
Me? I'm just a housekeeper
from the Glasgow slums.
178
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,870
The likes of me telling the likes of you
what to put on his noggin?
179
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:51,548
Good point.
180
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,706
Back to your monkey work, Hudson.
181
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,751
(Watson clears throat)
182
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,326
Watson: Perfect, right?
Holmes: May I show you a few more hats?
183
00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,472
Watson: No!
Someone's left a wee box.
184
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:02,679
What are you going on about?
185
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:07,012
I never even heard anyone knocking.
Did you hear anything?
186
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,392
How very queer.
187
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:14,022
- Queerer and queerer.
- Holmes: Hmm.
188
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:15,524
Very odd.
189
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:17,568
(Insect buzzing)
190
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:18,742
Watson, no.
191
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,468
Holmes, why are you getting
so exercised?
192
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,698
It's merely an empty box.
193
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:27,249
(Gasps) Watson, this is sent
from moriarty. He means to kill us.
194
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:28,370
Listen.
195
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,452
(Insect buzzing)
196
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:31,755
Shut that window.
197
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,582
If this winged menace escapes,
it may cause a pandemic.
198
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:35,961
A killer mosquito?
199
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,088
The insect is infected
with African plague.
200
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,090
One bite means death.
201
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,801
Now, dance a Dutch jig.
202
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:50,264
You don't have to ask me twice
to do a Dutch jig, but why?
203
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:53,065
Your body heat will attract him
to dine on your flesh.
204
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,153
Brilliant.
205
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:56,853
Hold! Don't move.
206
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,529
- Where is it?
- Right there.
207
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,098
There. Right there on your forehead.
208
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,276
- Kill it, Holmes.
- I'm going to kill it.
209
00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:03,572
(Buzzing)
210
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,244
There it is. “Where?
211
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,284
Hold, hold. No, no. “Where?
212
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:08,956
(Buzzing)
213
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,455
- (Groans) No, hold, hold.
- Is it biting?
214
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:12,835
(Both grunting)
215
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,590
I hear it.
216
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:18,045
(Grunts) (Groaning)
217
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,136
I see it.
218
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,381
(Buzzing)
219
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:22,472
The tip!
220
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:24,555
Don't worry, boys. I brought a net.
221
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:26,432
(Groans)
222
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,931
(Bees buzzing)
223
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:37,402
Upon the lowering of my gavel,
224
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:40,025
the charges shall be dismissed.
225
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,983
- (Gallery gasping, murmuring)
- I shall raise my gavel in the air
226
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:46,444
and then bring it down briskly,
227
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,622
making a satisfying bang,
228
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:53,998
at which point the prisoner
shall go free.
229
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,168
(Gallery gasps)
230
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:56,837
(Buzzing)
231
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,176
Holmes: Angle of approach.
232
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,223
Compensate for warp in floor.
233
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,893
Count for resistance due to dust motes.
234
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,345
Probable outcome,
235
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,280
- termination of mosquito.
- (Mosquito squeaks)
236
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,941
Integrity of bee habitat maintained.
237
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:19,485
Deadly bee swarm averted.
238
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:22,397
- (Grunts)
- (Squishes)
239
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:23,572
(Bees buzzing)
240
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,776
(Gasps) The mosquito's vanquished.
241
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,406
- (Sighs)
- Well done, Holmes.
242
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:31,240
It's a simple matter of geometry,
entomology and physics.
243
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,290
(Quiet crackling)
244
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,161
(Glass shattering)
245
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,497
- Oh, my god!
- Oh, shit.
246
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:43,176
Watson! Stop panicking!
We can disable the queen.
247
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,003
It's making them angry, Holmes!
248
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,804
Oh, my god. What are they doing?
249
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,381
They're turning this way!
250
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:51,092
Just do anything! Help me!
251
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,221
It's working!
252
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,896
It's not working!
253
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,975
- Get it off!
- It's not working!
254
00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,104
(Watson grunts)
255
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,235
Holmes, we retreat.
256
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:03,779
Run for safety. I'll lead them away.
(Grunting)
257
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,153
(Screaming, groans)
258
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:07,950
(Bees buzzing)
259
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:09,827
(Horse neighs)
260
00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,659
(Clock ticking)
261
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,164
(Gallery gasps)
262
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:25,710
(Gunshot) (Gallery gasping)
263
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,670
Stop this trial!
264
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:30,131
(Gallery murmuring, yelling)
265
00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:40,434
May I present to you
the greatest detective of all time,
266
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:44,271
solver of the unsolvable,
untier of gordian knots,
267
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:49,485
bester of conundrums,
the great Sherlock Holmes.
268
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:50,910
(Gallery cheering)
269
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,871
Gallery: (Chanting)
Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock!
270
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,745
Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock!
271
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,248
Stop this trial at once!
272
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,377
(Man groans)
273
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:07,127
Judge: Thank goodness
you've arrived, Mr. Holmes.
274
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:10,634
Now, what startling new evidence
do you have for the court?
275
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,010
I am the evidence.
276
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:13,386
(Gallery gasping, murmuring)
277
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:18,183
I recall the day vividly.
I arrived at the crime scene alone.
278
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:21,232
Completely and utterly alone.
279
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:22,983
(Sighs, scoffs)
280
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:26,609
I meticulously inspected
every nook and cranny of that study,
281
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:31,784
hunting for clues,
much like a panther stalks its prey.
282
00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:36,414
(Roars) (All gasp)
283
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:42,163
And as I stood there, I began to employ
a groundbreaking new technique.
284
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,871
Right there.
285
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,628
- Behold! Fingerprints.
- (Gallery murmuring)
286
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:50,678
Imagine a print
being taken from a finger.
287
00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:52,555
I love it.
288
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:55,179
How do these prove moriarty's guilt?
289
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:58,602
(Shell casings clinking)
290
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:00,020
Watson.
291
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:04,025
Moriarty would never leave
a trail of clues,
292
00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:05,818
which begs the question,
293
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,611
why was this crime scene
294
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:11,441
so uncharacteristically
littered with fingerprints?
295
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:12,821
Good work, Watson.
296
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,556
Thank you. I just thought
of what you might have done.
297
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:19,665
I compared these prints
to those of the man standing before you.
298
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,242
A perfect match.
299
00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:24,670
Unequivocal proof that this man
300
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,998
i1s innocent. 1 estrade: What?
301
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,878
But if those are moriarty's prints,
then moriarty is the murderer.
302
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:33,384
This man is not moriarty.
303
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,285
- (Gallery gasping)
- Man: He sure looks like moriarty.
304
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:39,143
He's an impostor.
His name is Jacob musgrave.
305
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,596
A complete look-alike, a doppelganger.
306
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:45,730
A patsy framed to hang
for moriarty's crimes,
307
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,607
so that I may abandon my pursuit of him
308
00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:51,405
and he can begin life anew in America.
309
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:55,155
Why would an innocent man agree
to hang for moriarty's crimes?
310
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:58,409
Elementary. This man is terminally ill.
311
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:01,617
Look at him. His pallid complexion.
312
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,952
The palsy in his left hand.
313
00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,786
Wait. I know. He's an onanist.
314
00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:08,999
Yes, of the most enthusiastic kind.
315
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,549
Man: What's an onanist?
316
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,342
Watson: He... let's see.
317
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,921
He pours his own tea.
318
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:20,722
He likes to create his own sauce.
319
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:24,305
- He is a saucier.
- Gallery: Huh?
320
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,608
And the name of his restaurant
is crotch kitchen.
321
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:31,195
On a daily basis,
he creams his own éclair.
322
00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:35,400
He is Romeo and Juliet.
323
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,735
That should do it.
324
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:40,242
- This here.
- Man: Oh, he's a wanker.
325
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,413
Watson: Thank you.
326
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:42,991
Sorry, ladies. (Chuckles)
327
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:46,748
This chap here had nothing to lose
by being executed.
328
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,546
He was literally dying by his own hand.
329
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:51,841
It causes death, you see.
330
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:55,295
The infallible Sherlock Holmes
has indeed spoken.
331
00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:58,881
In light of his testimony,
I order the release of the suspect.
332
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:03,891
What? This is an outrage!
Do not let this murderer free.
333
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:08,065
Bang, bang, bang! Court is adjourned.
334
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:10,188
Sherlock Holmes has done it again!
335
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:13,646
(Cheering and applause)
336
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,402
Why are you cheering?
337
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:17,616
Sherlock!
338
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:21,161
Gallery: (Chanting)
Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock!
339
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:22,726
Watson: That couldn't have gone better.
340
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,035
Holmes: It couldn't have.
341
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,562
And I tell you, that case was rather...
342
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:28,373
It took us three years to catch him.
343
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:31,046
If we release him now,
we may never find him again.
344
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,966
Put aside your ego and admit I am right.
345
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:37,712
I am afraid moriarty's long gone
to America.
346
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:41,550
Whatever crimes moriarty
commits from now on
347
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:42,975
are on your head.
348
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:47,225
Watson: I quite like
seeing lestrade upset.
349
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:48,897
(Laughs) Yeah. I do, too.
350
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,941
(Horse neighs)
351
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:53,690
(Violin playing)
352
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:57,365
Watson: Professor James moriarty
fled to the americas
353
00:17:57,451 --> 00:18:03,117
and would never darken england again.
354
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:04,807
(Violin playing off-key)
(Holmes groans)
355
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:07,875
(Grunting)
356
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:10,748
Holmes.
357
00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:12,914
Are you upset?
358
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,458
It's just that moriarty
was the whetstone
359
00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,669
upon which I sharpened my mental blade.
360
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:21,218
With him gone,
not there to challenge me, why go on?
361
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:25,013
Instead, I shall occupy
my great, great mind
362
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,390
with nutritional science.
363
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:28,891
My research suggests
364
00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:31,565
that the sulfurous compounds
of the common onion
365
00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:33,897
can increase your red blood cells.
366
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,603
Vital for human health.
367
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:36,938
(Grunting)
368
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,753
- Just bite it like an apple, en?
- Mmm-hmm.
369
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,824
(Holmes exclaiming) (Gasping)
370
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:42,822
(Coughing, choking)
371
00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:44,949
Definitely takes four or five bites.
372
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,365
(Grunting)
373
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,666
Are we meant to eat the whole thing?
374
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:50,952
The whole thing.
375
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:55,085
Let the juice slither
down the back of your throat.
376
00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:57,167
(Gagging)
377
00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:59,551
(Coughing) Congratulations, Holmes.
378
00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:02,547
You're not only
the smartest man in London,
379
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,678
you shall soon be the healthiest.
380
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:05,894
Indeed.
381
00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:09,933
Now, where's my opium?
382
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:11,722
- Um...
- (Groans)
383
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:12,817
Mrs. Hudson!
384
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,984
- Hudson!
- Hudson!
385
00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,071
Help!
386
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,567
Hudson, Watson has stuck
a carrot up my bum!
387
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,898
Hudson, help!
388
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,983
- Fire! Fire!
- Call the police!
389
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,693
Hudson, your mother has died!
390
00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:25,574
You brain-dead bag of bones!
391
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,577
- Hudson!
- Hudson!
392
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:29,703
Hudson!
393
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,000
Hudson, where are you?
394
00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:33,036
Uh... _(Scoffs)
395
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:34,916
Holmes: Did you not hear any of that?
396
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,872
We screamed "fire." “Where?
397
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:38,582
And we were screaming your name.
398
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,168
You were just there in my bedroom?
399
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,297
(Zipper closes)
400
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:42,931
On.
401
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:45,221
(Scoffs)
402
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,174
- Shut up.
- Come on.
403
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:51,145
No wonder my room always smells
like fish pie and swamp.
404
00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:55,270
(Door closes)
405
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,692
This came for you.
406
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:57,897
Hmm.
407
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:01,648
Sealed by hands unused to manual labor.
408
00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:02,777
Watson: Hmm.
409
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,318
Hmm.
410
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:08,450
Saliva from a protein-rich diet
of chicken kidneys.
411
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,998
Why, Watson, it's from the queen.
412
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:12,495
- (Exclaims)
- Huh.
413
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,872
Seems her majesty requests my services.
414
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:17,831
A crime that has baffled
even her closest advisors,
415
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:20,758
and only my singular intellect
can solve it.
416
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:22,130
Well, well, well,
417
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:24,260
look who's back in the game.
418
00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:27,502
Holmes: Watson, are you all right?
419
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,346
Watson: I'm just very nervous.
420
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:31,302
I've not met the queen before.
421
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,017
- Deep breath.
- Your majesty,
422
00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:40,148
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson.
423
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,730
(Watson breathing heavily)
424
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,736
My god, it's really her.
425
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:51,576
Shh.
426
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:55,378
Watson.
427
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,415
Say something.
428
00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,001
I love you.
429
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:03,425
I know I am duty-bound to serve you,
430
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,073
but let me just say, on a personal note,
431
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,575
- I really like you.
- Holmes: Stop touching her.
432
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:07,839
Just as a fan.
433
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,764
- (Laughs nervously)
- Please, sir.
434
00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:10,932
Don't touch the queen.
435
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:12,513
On!
436
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:13,925
Quite right. (Chuckles nervously)
437
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,604
Sorry, your majesty.
438
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,356
You look a lot smaller in person.
439
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:18,728
(Laughs nervously)
440
00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:21,227
- Just stop. Just stop.
- Sorry. It's true.
441
00:21:21,322 --> 00:21:22,528
Just stop talking.
442
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:23,900
- Yes.
- Stop talking.
443
00:21:25,034 --> 00:21:26,274
I'm crazy about your look.
444
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:27,733
What did I say?
445
00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:30,034
Am I still talking out loud?
You are. You are.
446
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:32,451
It's just the queen. (Exhales)
Yes.
447
00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:33,576
(Watson snorts)
448
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:35,203
- Okay?
- Watson: Okay.
449
00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:36,377
Holmes: Your majesty,
450
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:39,753
how may we be of service to the realm?
451
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,751
Mr. Holmes, pray follow us.
452
00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:43,916
There is danger about.
453
00:21:44,929 --> 00:21:45,964
(Exhales)
454
00:21:46,055 --> 00:21:47,465
What a looker, right?
455
00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:50,013
- She is stunning in person.
- (Exhales)
456
00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:53,176
Fear not, your majesty,
457
00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:56,137
Sherlock will allow no harm
to come to you, and neither will I.
458
00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:59,440
Five, four, three,
459
00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:01,267
two, one.
460
00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:02,898
- All: Surprise!
- (Applause)
461
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,066
Thank you. Thank you.
462
00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:08,111
Had I been a non-genius
such as yourselves,
463
00:22:08,202 --> 00:22:11,365
there's a 72% chance
I would have been surprised.
464
00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:13,366
Oh! 72%. (Applause)
465
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,199
Happy birthday, Sherlock Holmes.
466
00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:20,502
We wish you well and thank you
for your many years...
467
00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:24,081
- Your many years of public service.
- (Cork pops)
468
00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:27,459
(Chuckling)
469
00:22:27,555 --> 00:22:29,170
So, Holmes. Yes.
470
00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:30,265
When did you know?
471
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:31,429
Tuesday.
472
00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:32,851
Really?
473
00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:35,259
You were seven minutes late coming home.
474
00:22:35,437 --> 00:22:39,771
(Sniffing) Stopped at the stationer's,
confirmed by the scent of paper mulch.
475
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:41,253
(Sighs) You have the nose
of a bloodhound.
476
00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:43,768
Your mustache betrayed
a dusting of crumbs.
477
00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:46,445
Evidence of cake sampling.
478
00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:48,488
- (Both chuckle)
- Guilty.
479
00:22:48,659 --> 00:22:52,026
And you purchased a case
of pre-phylloxera champagne.
480
00:22:52,121 --> 00:22:55,909
You lack the self-esteem to buy yourself
such an extravagant bottle.
481
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,036
It's true. (Chuckles)
482
00:22:58,127 --> 00:22:59,833
I don't deserve nice things.
483
00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,833
(Singers harmonizing)
484
00:23:04,008 --> 00:23:07,842
(Singing) For he's a jolly good fellow
for he's a jolly good fellow
485
00:23:08,012 --> 00:23:11,550
for he's a jolly good fellow
486
00:23:11,724 --> 00:23:14,261
and so say all of us
487
00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:16,391
- (laughs) Bravo.
- (Applause)
488
00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:19,053
Thank you.
489
00:23:19,148 --> 00:23:20,684
That was delightful.
490
00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:22,932
Oh, a layer cake.
491
00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:25,063
Watson: It's shaped
like a magnifying glass.
492
00:23:25,154 --> 00:23:26,154
Yes!
493
00:23:27,031 --> 00:23:29,522
(Holmes grunting)
494
00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:31,949
The second layer is rather thick.
495
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:33,404
(Grunting)
496
00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:36,533
There must be a few nuts in there.
Uh, if I may.
497
00:23:36,624 --> 00:23:38,831
- Would you mind?
- Here. Yes, of course.
498
00:23:39,543 --> 00:23:40,703
( Watson grunts) (Squishing)
499
00:23:40,794 --> 00:23:42,063
Do you see what I'm talking about?
500
00:23:42,087 --> 00:23:43,497
= =I es e>"
501
00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:45,625
ah. Raspberry jam.
502
00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:47,630
Mmm. My weakness.
503
00:23:47,718 --> 00:23:48,878
I know what I need.
504
00:23:50,012 --> 00:23:51,502
Man: What the... he's getting an ax!
505
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,090
- Brilliant.
- Charge!
506
00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:54,968
(Shouting)
507
00:23:55,059 --> 00:23:56,549
(Crowd gasping) _oh!
508
00:23:56,644 --> 00:23:59,181
Lestrade: Stand back.
Back, everyone, I say.
509
00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,728
A murder in Buckingham Palace.
510
00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:03,305
Look, a note. There.
511
00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:06,441
Right under your nose.
512
00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:14,567
"A birthday present for you, Sherlock.
513
00:24:14,745 --> 00:24:16,986
"A crime to challenge your wits.
514
00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:18,946
"Stop me in four days' time,
515
00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:21,748
"or I will destroy London's
greatest marvel and kill the queen,
516
00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:24,247
"and I will rewrite history."
517
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,875
Signed "professor James moriarty."
518
00:24:27,007 --> 00:24:28,042
Holmes: Hmm.
519
00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:30,211
This is Jimmy gruber,
520
00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:31,838
the witness who disappeared,
521
00:24:31,929 --> 00:24:34,420
whose testimony prompted
moriarty's arrest
522
00:24:34,515 --> 00:24:37,052
and whom moriarty swore to kill.
523
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:38,507
And your conclusion?
524
00:24:41,230 --> 00:24:45,143
That moriarty has killed again,
as I predicted.
525
00:24:45,442 --> 00:24:47,728
Ah. The most obvious conclusion.
526
00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:49,310
(Holmes and Watson scoffing)
527
00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:51,145
No, this is definitely the work
528
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,947
of someone who is going
to extraordinary lengths
529
00:24:54,034 --> 00:24:56,821
to make it appear
as if moriarty committed these crimes.
530
00:24:56,912 --> 00:24:58,868
- Sherlock Holmes.
- Holmes: The queen.
531
00:25:00,624 --> 00:25:04,037
We charge you with the task
of stopping this criminal
532
00:25:04,128 --> 00:25:05,538
before he can do us harm.
533
00:25:06,213 --> 00:25:09,751
Solve this case on behalf
of your queen and country.
534
00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:10,957
I will. “We will.
535
00:25:11,051 --> 00:25:12,051
But, your majesty...
536
00:25:12,136 --> 00:25:14,969
Sherlock Holmes has never failed us.
537
00:25:15,139 --> 00:25:17,130
The bold ingenuity of this crime
538
00:25:17,224 --> 00:25:21,183
calls me back to the profession
of detecting like a siren song.
539
00:25:21,270 --> 00:25:22,998
- I won't let anyone hurt you.
- (Clears throat)
540
00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:24,978
Watson. To the morgue.
541
00:25:25,065 --> 00:25:27,477
Lestrade, clean this mess up now.
542
00:25:27,568 --> 00:25:29,980
The game is a-starting. Yeah.
543
00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:37,199
Holmes: Who is this copycat
pretending to be moriarty?
544
00:25:37,619 --> 00:25:40,076
Finally, a problem worthy of my brain.
545
00:25:40,164 --> 00:25:41,904
This birthday cake is delicious.
546
00:25:41,999 --> 00:25:43,330
Did you get a chance to try it?
547
00:25:43,417 --> 00:25:44,998
- No, there was a corpse in it.
- Oh.
548
00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:49,336
(Clinking) (Coughs)
549
00:25:49,423 --> 00:25:50,423
Watson?
550
00:25:50,799 --> 00:25:51,834
On.
551
00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:53,461
Oh, my goodness.
552
00:25:53,802 --> 00:25:54,837
On.
553
00:25:55,471 --> 00:25:56,471
Finders keepers.
554
00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:57,795
Yeah.
555
00:25:59,016 --> 00:26:00,827
Are you sure you wouldn't rather wait
out here?
556
00:26:00,851 --> 00:26:02,454
The last time you were
in the morgue, you...
557
00:26:02,478 --> 00:26:06,562
Watson, I am a man
of stout constitution.
558
00:26:06,648 --> 00:26:09,515
Yes, of course.
I just thought, after the last time,
559
00:26:09,610 --> 00:26:10,975
with the...
560
00:26:11,737 --> 00:26:13,147
- And the...
- (Sighs)
561
00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:16,022
Merely a bout of stomach influenza.
562
00:26:16,116 --> 00:26:17,401
Yes, but the time before that?
563
00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:19,734
- Bad clams.
- And before that?
564
00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:21,443
I shook hands with a prostitute.
565
00:26:21,538 --> 00:26:22,744
Yes.
566
00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:26,373
No, no. Put that away.
567
00:26:26,502 --> 00:26:31,496
I'm not some vaporous,
giggling, fainting maiden who...
568
00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:39,381
Oh, ye of little...
569
00:26:39,473 --> 00:26:41,134
(Retching)
570
00:26:43,102 --> 00:26:44,302
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
571
00:26:44,353 --> 00:26:47,345
- (Repressed retching)
- I think I'm starting to feel a bit...
572
00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:48,479
- (Exhales)
- I wouldn't...
573
00:26:48,565 --> 00:26:50,430
- Are you...
- No, no, I'm fine. I'm fine.
574
00:26:50,526 --> 00:26:53,233
'Cause if you start to feel sick,
then I'll start to feel...
575
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:55,106
(Retching)
576
00:26:56,365 --> 00:26:57,980
(Exhales sharply)
577
00:26:58,367 --> 00:27:00,528
Surely, I must be done. Yes.
578
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:02,781
Next to impossible to still...
579
00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:04,403
(Repressed retching)
580
00:27:10,212 --> 00:27:11,327
There you are.
581
00:27:11,713 --> 00:27:13,544
- All done.
- Yes, there.
582
00:27:13,632 --> 00:27:14,632
(Exhales sharply)
583
00:27:14,716 --> 00:27:16,694
- Would you like some water?
- Did you say water...
584
00:27:16,718 --> 00:27:18,800
- (Retches)
- Sorry. I'm sorry.
585
00:27:19,596 --> 00:27:21,177
Shall we begin the autopsy?
586
00:27:21,849 --> 00:27:23,965
Oh, thank goodness
these cleaning women are here
587
00:27:24,059 --> 00:27:25,286
to clean up this dreadful mess.
588
00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:27,016
- Someone's made sick.
- Oh.
589
00:27:27,104 --> 00:27:29,516
My dear Watson, these women
590
00:27:29,606 --> 00:27:31,406
are far too well-dressed
to be cleaning women.
591
00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:35,442
They're here to identify
their well-to-do husbands' bodies.
592
00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:36,977
Sorry for your loss.
593
00:27:37,156 --> 00:27:39,488
Thank you, but I am the doctor.
594
00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:42,991
Look, Watson,
grief has scrambled her brain.
595
00:27:43,078 --> 00:27:44,943
- Mmm.
- She thinks she's a doctor.
596
00:27:45,038 --> 00:27:48,246
Fortunately, miss,
there's a real doctor here
597
00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:49,539
who may help you.
598
00:27:49,877 --> 00:27:51,117
Would you like some heroin?
599
00:27:51,587 --> 00:27:53,669
Dr. Watson, I presume.
600
00:27:53,755 --> 00:27:55,962
And you must be Sherlock Holmes.
601
00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:58,085
Dr. grace hart of Boston.
602
00:27:58,802 --> 00:28:00,463
A woman doctor?
603
00:28:00,554 --> 00:28:02,966
- What times we live in.
- Grace: (Chuckles) Yes.
604
00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:05,847
In America, we're much more progressive.
605
00:28:05,934 --> 00:28:08,721
I now make 30 cents
for every dollar a man earns.
606
00:28:08,812 --> 00:28:11,428
What does "doctor" mean in America?
607
00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:13,263
It means "doctor."
608
00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:15,314
You're Dr. g. Hart?
609
00:28:15,402 --> 00:28:17,108
Of Boston? Yes.
610
00:28:17,279 --> 00:28:19,816
Holmes, we're in the presence
of a pioneer.
611
00:28:19,907 --> 00:28:22,614
Dr. hart's work with the use
of electroshock therapy
612
00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:24,987
to cure female hysteria
is groundbreaking.
613
00:28:25,078 --> 00:28:28,991
Yes, I proved the higher the voltage,
the more demons are released.
614
00:28:29,082 --> 00:28:30,242
Well, of course.
615
00:28:30,334 --> 00:28:32,325
Some of my patients live
as long as a week.
616
00:28:32,419 --> 00:28:35,001
"Doctor"? Spelled d-o-c-t-o-r?
617
00:28:35,088 --> 00:28:36,624
- Yes.
- (Exhales)
618
00:28:37,090 --> 00:28:38,921
This is my aide, Millicent.
619
00:28:39,509 --> 00:28:42,626
She's very shy,
but a wonderful traveling companion.
620
00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:46,004
Shall we proceed to the examination?
(Chuckles)
621
00:28:46,683 --> 00:28:48,674
- Please.
- Our cadaver awaits.
622
00:28:48,769 --> 00:28:50,680
(Repressed retching)
623
00:28:50,771 --> 00:28:52,136
No, no, no.
624
00:28:52,231 --> 00:28:53,562
Here.
625
00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:56,105
Mr. Holmes, you look rather unwell.
626
00:28:56,193 --> 00:28:59,481
Perhaps you would rather stay here
and keep Millicent company.
627
00:29:02,658 --> 00:29:03,898
Sherlock Holmes.
628
00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:05,552
Charmed to meet... (Repressed retching)
629
00:29:07,621 --> 00:29:08,701
To meet you.
630
00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:11,575
Grace: Millicent is the subject
of my research.
631
00:29:11,667 --> 00:29:13,749
She was raised by feral cats.
632
00:29:13,835 --> 00:29:15,996
She has the mental capacity
of a four-year-old,
633
00:29:16,088 --> 00:29:19,171
but it is my belief that,
with sufficient electroshock therapy,
634
00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:22,091
she can achieve the intellect
of a six-year-old.
635
00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:24,177
(Sighs) We are truly
in the golden age of medicine.
636
00:29:24,263 --> 00:29:25,865
- (Chuckles)
- There's nothing left to learn.
637
00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:26,889
No.
638
00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:30,431
Holmes: What a creature you are.
639
00:29:31,645 --> 00:29:32,680
(Chuckles)
640
00:29:33,855 --> 00:29:35,186
(Onion crunching)
641
00:29:41,321 --> 00:29:44,404
You're devouring that onion
with such passion.
642
00:29:47,494 --> 00:29:48,984
It's strangely arousing.
643
00:29:50,580 --> 00:29:52,320
Dr. Watson, I have always been taken
644
00:29:52,416 --> 00:29:55,328
by your unwavering devotion
to Mr. Holmes,
645
00:29:55,419 --> 00:29:58,877
but haven't you ever considered
something more?
646
00:30:00,048 --> 00:30:02,505
Perhaps a co-detective?
647
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,381
He and I?
648
00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:07,586
Co-detectives®?
649
00:30:07,681 --> 00:30:08,681
Yes.
650
00:30:08,765 --> 00:30:10,596
(Laughs) Oh, the very idea!
651
00:30:11,059 --> 00:30:13,391
- Uh...
- Solving crimes together?
652
00:30:14,604 --> 00:30:16,845
Laughing and enjoying
the esprit de corps
653
00:30:16,940 --> 00:30:19,602
of two best friends
pursuing a noble cause!
654
00:30:19,693 --> 00:30:21,229
Madness. No, dear.
655
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,777
No. No, not I.
656
00:30:25,073 --> 00:30:26,404
Not here.
657
00:30:27,284 --> 00:30:31,493
Not even in my most rapturous moments
of private fantasy.
658
00:30:36,001 --> 00:30:37,036
(Sighs)
659
00:30:37,377 --> 00:30:40,915
Anyway, let's go clean
this cake-covered bastard, shall we?
660
00:30:44,801 --> 00:30:46,757
Watson: The wonders of modern medicine.
661
00:30:50,807 --> 00:30:53,139
Now, you're going to laugh,
662
00:30:53,226 --> 00:30:55,433
but I found the most important tool
of an autopsy is...
663
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:56,600
Music.
664
00:30:58,023 --> 00:30:59,263
Yes.
665
00:30:59,358 --> 00:31:00,393
You, too?
666
00:31:03,028 --> 00:31:04,063
(Chuckles)
667
00:31:07,574 --> 00:31:10,190
Man: (Singing) Oh, my love
668
00:31:10,285 --> 00:31:12,241
this one always gets me in the mood.
669
00:31:14,581 --> 00:31:16,287
So begins the dance.
670
00:31:25,008 --> 00:31:27,374
- (Chuckles) You have some dribble.
- Hmm?
671
00:31:27,469 --> 00:31:29,710
- Just a touch of dribble right...
- (Snaps)
672
00:31:29,846 --> 00:31:30,881
(Gasps)
673
00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:40,684
And time goes by...
674
00:31:40,774 --> 00:31:45,188
There is something so sensual
about forensic autopsy, isn't there?
675
00:32:08,677 --> 00:32:10,133
You are a delight.
676
00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:13,462
Your eyes say more
than words ever could.
677
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:17,429
(Door opens)
(Chuckles, sniffing)
678
00:32:17,519 --> 00:32:18,850
- Hmm.
- (Door closes)
679
00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:22,930
The tincture of ammonia and scrotum.
680
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,311
Hello, inspector lestrade.
681
00:32:27,529 --> 00:32:29,110
We have combed the manifests
682
00:32:29,197 --> 00:32:32,064
of every ship to set sail
for the americas
683
00:32:32,159 --> 00:32:35,276
and found not a single moriarty.
684
00:32:35,370 --> 00:32:38,533
Moriarty's too cunning
to use his own name.
685
00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:40,284
He's sailing under an alias.
686
00:32:40,459 --> 00:32:42,478
- (Blades clink)
- Watson: (Panting) Ah, here we are.
687
00:32:42,502 --> 00:32:44,743
So, after a thorough...
688
00:32:44,921 --> 00:32:46,286
Very thorough.
689
00:32:46,381 --> 00:32:48,121
(Both chuckling)
690
00:32:48,216 --> 00:32:49,956
- Stop.
- (Chuckles) No, you stop.
691
00:32:50,302 --> 00:32:53,009
- (Clears throat)
- Examination of the body...
692
00:32:53,096 --> 00:32:57,635
And I must say, Dr. hart made some
beautiful lateral incisions there.
693
00:32:57,726 --> 00:33:02,811
No, watching you flay the skin
from his face so gently!
694
00:33:02,898 --> 00:33:05,230
- I would flay 1,000 faces for you.
- And the way...
695
00:33:05,317 --> 00:33:06,807
Just tell me what you found!
696
00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:09,025
(Clears throat) Yes.
697
00:33:09,112 --> 00:33:10,693
Cause of death indeterminate.
698
00:33:10,780 --> 00:33:12,111
I estrade: Indeterminate?
699
00:33:12,199 --> 00:33:13,484
What do you mean?
700
00:33:13,575 --> 00:33:15,111
It means he doesn't know.
701
00:33:15,994 --> 00:33:17,404
Proceed, Watson. “Watson: Yes.
702
00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:21,868
We found a freshly applied
tattoo of a cross
703
00:33:21,958 --> 00:33:24,290
and the numbers one and 20.
704
00:33:24,794 --> 00:33:26,625
I have the oddest feeling.
705
00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:29,288
It's like knowing, but the opposite.
706
00:33:29,466 --> 00:33:30,922
Meaning you haven't a clue.
707
00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:34,467
Who is this genius pretender
who's taken moriarty's place,
708
00:33:34,554 --> 00:33:38,012
committing crimes
exactly the way he would? (Sighs)
709
00:33:38,808 --> 00:33:40,764
Holmes: A fantastic new case.
710
00:33:40,852 --> 00:33:43,093
I'm aroused
both mentally and physically.
711
00:33:43,188 --> 00:33:46,897
I was wondering, rather than
working beside you on this case,
712
00:33:46,983 --> 00:33:49,599
I might work with you as a sort of...
713
00:33:49,861 --> 00:33:51,601
Grace called it a "co-detective."
714
00:33:52,072 --> 00:33:55,985
One cannot simply just
make someone a detective.
715
00:33:56,076 --> 00:33:57,407
It must be earned.
716
00:33:57,494 --> 00:33:59,951
Well, I deduced you might say that,
717
00:34:00,038 --> 00:34:04,873
which is why, when we arrive home,
I propose a game of chess.
718
00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:07,125
If I should best you,
719
00:34:07,212 --> 00:34:09,168
then surely
I possess the mental power...
720
00:34:09,256 --> 00:34:11,713
Checkmate! Checkmate.
721
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,007
What? We haven't started yet.
722
00:34:14,302 --> 00:34:15,988
You would have opened
with the queen's gambit.
723
00:34:16,012 --> 00:34:18,173
Oh, indeed. A reliable first move.
724
00:34:18,265 --> 00:34:19,909
I would have countered
with a slav defense.
725
00:34:19,933 --> 00:34:22,800
Oh! An audacious move. Quite unexpected.
726
00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:25,351
You would have panicked,
thus exposing your queen.
727
00:34:25,438 --> 00:34:26,438
No, not my queen!
728
00:34:26,523 --> 00:34:30,015
Seeing your queen exposed
would have compelled you to defend her.
729
00:34:30,110 --> 00:34:33,068
Indeed. It is my duty in chess
as in life.
730
00:34:33,154 --> 00:34:35,190
Thereby neglecting my castle.
731
00:34:35,282 --> 00:34:36,613
(Gasps)
732
00:34:37,409 --> 00:34:38,615
Checkmate.
733
00:34:39,911 --> 00:34:41,196
Perhaps another game?
734
00:34:41,288 --> 00:34:43,119
Rock-paper-scissors.
735
00:34:43,206 --> 00:34:45,618
Rock, rock, paper, paper,
scissors, paper,
736
00:34:45,709 --> 00:34:47,791
- rock, scissors, paper, rock.
- (Gasps)
737
00:34:48,670 --> 00:34:49,670
Dash it all!
738
00:34:49,754 --> 00:34:51,039
What about battleship?
739
00:34:51,214 --> 00:34:53,796
Holmes: D-3, e-3, f-3, and g-3.
740
00:34:53,883 --> 00:34:56,044
Watson: Damn it,
you've sunk my battleship.
741
00:34:56,136 --> 00:34:57,967
Holmes: You're a good man, Watson,
742
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:00,136
but you're not ready.
743
00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:02,673
But why?
744
00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:05,053
If you were ready, you'd know why.
745
00:35:15,864 --> 00:35:17,445
Watson: Let the game begin.
746
00:35:18,033 --> 00:35:19,523
A piece for a piece.
747
00:35:20,285 --> 00:35:21,821
Two can play at that game.
748
00:35:36,885 --> 00:35:38,000
(Grunts softly)
749
00:35:41,514 --> 00:35:42,549
Mmm.
750
00:35:42,682 --> 00:35:43,717
(Grunts)
751
00:35:45,268 --> 00:35:46,383
Peekaboo.
752
00:35:48,396 --> 00:35:49,431
(Snapping)
753
00:35:49,522 --> 00:35:51,638
Ah. Checkmate.
754
00:35:52,317 --> 00:35:54,603
And to the Victor, the spoils.
755
00:35:55,236 --> 00:35:56,442
(Giggles)
756
00:35:56,738 --> 00:35:58,148
(Sighs)
757
00:35:58,239 --> 00:35:59,800
(In grace's voice)
You'll never be co-detective.
758
00:35:59,824 --> 00:36:01,735
(Screams, gasping)
759
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,946
(Horse neighing)
760
00:36:04,204 --> 00:36:05,694
(Cup clinking)
761
00:36:05,914 --> 00:36:08,747
Watson, I'm near a breakthrough.
762
00:36:08,917 --> 00:36:14,753
My hypothesis is the true cause of death
is ink poisoning via the fresh tattoo.
763
00:36:14,839 --> 00:36:16,249
But I need your help.
764
00:36:18,843 --> 00:36:20,208
You want me to be co-detective?
765
00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:21,793
(Laughs) Mmm-mmm.
766
00:36:22,055 --> 00:36:24,421
I'm awfully sorry, Dr. Watson.
767
00:36:25,058 --> 00:36:26,264
Sorry for what?
768
00:36:26,351 --> 00:36:28,091
Mr. Holmes left me no choice.
769
00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:30,552
May you rest in peace.
“What's she on about?
770
00:36:30,647 --> 00:36:34,560
All will be clear in three, two, one.
771
00:36:34,651 --> 00:36:35,857
(Gasps)
772
00:36:36,945 --> 00:36:37,945
Excuse me. (Coughs)
773
00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:39,235
I'll take that.
774
00:36:39,531 --> 00:36:41,491
(Choking) It's just something
caught in my throat.
775
00:36:41,825 --> 00:36:43,065
Oh, no.
776
00:36:43,159 --> 00:36:44,399
I poisoned you.
777
00:36:44,494 --> 00:36:45,825
(Hoarsely) Why?
778
00:36:45,912 --> 00:36:47,448
- To test my theory.
- (Wheezing)
779
00:36:47,539 --> 00:36:49,075
Am I going to die?
780
00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:50,450
No, I have an antidote.
781
00:36:50,542 --> 00:36:52,954
- Oh.
- But I need to see it play out.
782
00:36:53,753 --> 00:36:55,163
Now, let's see here.
783
00:36:55,672 --> 00:36:57,400
- (Wheezing)
- Redness around the mouth. Good.
784
00:36:57,424 --> 00:36:58,424
(Gasping) Help me.
785
00:36:58,758 --> 00:37:01,124
You will have temporary brain damage.
786
00:37:02,971 --> 00:37:04,757
- Wake up, Watson. Wake up.
- (Squeals)
787
00:37:04,848 --> 00:37:06,258
We have work to do. Watson.
788
00:37:07,142 --> 00:37:08,848
Who's Watson? I'll kill him!
789
00:37:09,060 --> 00:37:10,266
You son of a bitch!
790
00:37:10,353 --> 00:37:11,433
(Yells) Violent aggression.
791
00:37:11,521 --> 00:37:13,432
Oh, please give me the antidote.
792
00:37:13,523 --> 00:37:14,763
Drama queen syndrome.
793
00:37:14,858 --> 00:37:17,099
Why am I doing this?
794
00:37:17,193 --> 00:37:18,399
Confused mime.
795
00:37:18,486 --> 00:37:21,398
Oh! Does this suit make me look fat?
796
00:37:21,489 --> 00:37:23,104
Body image dysmorphia.
797
00:37:23,241 --> 00:37:24,981
(Screams) My eyes!
798
00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:27,237
- Sensitivity to light.
- My eyes! It burns!
799
00:37:27,328 --> 00:37:28,534
(Screaming)
800
00:37:28,621 --> 00:37:30,612
- Excruciating abdominal pain.
- (Groaning)
801
00:37:31,374 --> 00:37:32,864
Yes, it's confirmed.
802
00:37:32,959 --> 00:37:34,950
It was poison. Come, Watson.
803
00:37:35,044 --> 00:37:36,284
I et us not be late.
804
00:37:36,504 --> 00:37:37,994
(Groaning)
805
00:37:38,089 --> 00:37:39,420
Oh! Of course.
806
00:37:39,507 --> 00:37:40,542
I actation.
807
00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:42,415
(Groaning)
808
00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:44,375
- Why?
- Come along, Watson.
809
00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:45,711
I'll explain in the cab.
810
00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:50,093
- (Coughs)
- There we go.
811
00:37:50,185 --> 00:37:51,891
Oh, thank god for this antidote.
812
00:37:51,978 --> 00:37:54,390
I feel as though
I've completely recovered. (Sighs)
813
00:37:55,273 --> 00:37:56,479
Yes, you have.
814
00:37:56,775 --> 00:37:57,855
(Watson sighs)
815
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:00,440
There.
816
00:38:00,612 --> 00:38:01,692
So where are we going?
817
00:38:01,863 --> 00:38:03,899
The fact that the victim was poisoned
818
00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:07,824
suggests the killer lacked
physical strength to overpower him.
819
00:38:07,994 --> 00:38:10,986
The tattoos you examined
have an uneven quality.
820
00:38:11,331 --> 00:38:14,915
It leads me to believe that
they were drawn by a one-armed man.
821
00:38:15,084 --> 00:38:17,496
A one-armed man.
822
00:38:17,587 --> 00:38:18,827
Yes.
823
00:38:19,005 --> 00:38:20,836
A weak man who would use poison.
824
00:38:20,924 --> 00:38:25,839
There is only one one-armed
tattoo artist in all of London.
825
00:38:26,012 --> 00:38:28,845
The nefarious Gustav klinger.
826
00:38:29,307 --> 00:38:32,299
Dorset street!
And don't spare the horses!
827
00:38:32,393 --> 00:38:33,633
- (Whip cracks)
- Dorset street.
828
00:38:33,686 --> 00:38:37,429
Home of drunkards, thieves,
and hairy, old whores.
829
00:38:37,690 --> 00:38:40,227
Holmes: And, if my theory is correct,
the killer.
830
00:38:40,527 --> 00:38:42,859
- (Watson laughs)
- Woman: Hello, gorgeous.
831
00:38:43,947 --> 00:38:47,690
Though all is calm now,
we must be on highest alert.
832
00:38:47,826 --> 00:38:49,532
(Carriage driver groans)
833
00:38:49,619 --> 00:38:52,861
Shall we ask someone if they've seen
our one-armed Mr. klinger?
834
00:38:52,956 --> 00:38:56,414
This neighborhood
does not welcome curious outsiders.
835
00:38:56,501 --> 00:38:58,287
Excuse me. Have you the time?
836
00:38:58,461 --> 00:39:01,828
- Not for you, outsider.
- (Yells in pain)
837
00:39:01,923 --> 00:39:03,538
Merciful god.
838
00:39:03,633 --> 00:39:05,214
Holmes: We must blend in.
839
00:39:05,301 --> 00:39:09,294
Fortunately, my time tripping the boards
has made me a master of disguise.
840
00:39:09,389 --> 00:39:10,389
Yes.
841
00:39:17,105 --> 00:39:18,140
Watson: You.
842
00:39:18,231 --> 00:39:19,596
What have you done with Sherlock?
843
00:39:19,983 --> 00:39:21,018
Why, Watson,
844
00:39:22,235 --> 00:39:23,315
I never left.
845
00:39:23,653 --> 00:39:24,813
(Gasps)
846
00:39:25,613 --> 00:39:27,194
- Amazing.
- Yes, I know.
847
00:39:27,407 --> 00:39:29,693
Yes, you've outdone yourself this time.
848
00:39:29,784 --> 00:39:30,944
Now...
849
00:39:31,661 --> 00:39:32,901
- Huh?
- No.
850
00:39:32,996 --> 00:39:34,452
- Still me.
- It's you?
851
00:39:34,539 --> 00:39:36,200
It's still Sherlock.
852
00:39:36,291 --> 00:39:38,247
- All right.
- Rest assured.
853
00:39:38,334 --> 00:39:39,574
It's very convincing.
854
00:39:39,752 --> 00:39:41,162
Now for your disguise.
855
00:39:41,588 --> 00:39:43,078
Oh, what will it be?
856
00:39:43,506 --> 00:39:44,586
(Holmes laughs)
857
00:39:45,216 --> 00:39:48,333
Yes. You, my friend,
858
00:39:49,345 --> 00:39:54,556
shall play a down-on-your-luck
horseshit salesman.
859
00:39:54,809 --> 00:39:56,470
Sema ss ds
860
00:39:57,020 --> 00:39:58,385
yes. Yes.
861
00:39:58,730 --> 00:40:01,437
Come, Watson. We have
3 one-armed killer to catch.
862
00:40:01,941 --> 00:40:02,976
(Get into character.
863
00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:05,103
Watson: Horseshit for sale!
Holmes: There you go.
864
00:40:05,194 --> 00:40:07,381
Watson: Who will buy my horse's shit?
Man: I'll take some.
865
00:40:07,405 --> 00:40:10,272
- No one must know our true purpose.
- Mmm.
866
00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:12,322
What you toffs want?
867
00:40:12,869 --> 00:40:16,828
To buy a pint for any man
who can raise two hands.
868
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:20,077
(Men cheering)
869
00:40:20,168 --> 00:40:22,329
Every man has both arms.
870
00:40:22,629 --> 00:40:23,789
Klinger isn't here.
871
00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:26,003
Our journey continues.
872
00:40:26,841 --> 00:40:29,127
Blend in like a common oaf. Yes.
873
00:40:29,427 --> 00:40:31,258
(Lively chatter, laughter)
874
00:40:31,346 --> 00:40:33,132
Holmes: Keep drinking.
We need to fit in.
875
00:40:33,222 --> 00:40:34,222
Cheers.
876
00:40:34,390 --> 00:40:35,550
(Music playing)
877
00:40:35,642 --> 00:40:36,642
Cheers!
878
00:40:36,976 --> 00:40:38,716
More, more, more! (Laughing)
879
00:40:40,688 --> 00:40:42,679
(Laughing) (All cheering)
880
00:40:42,815 --> 00:40:44,351
Oi! Of! Of
881
00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:48,105
(rhythmic tapping)
882
00:40:48,196 --> 00:40:49,777
(Both barking)
883
00:40:49,906 --> 00:40:50,941
(Howls)
884
00:40:51,032 --> 00:40:52,468
- They have boxing here.
- (Exclaims)
885
00:40:52,492 --> 00:40:53,982
Watson: I don't care if he's small!
886
00:40:54,077 --> 00:40:55,863
Watson: Kill!
Woman: Come on, fight!
887
00:40:58,414 --> 00:40:59,850
Shouldn't we be looking for klinger?
888
00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:01,830
- Who cares about klinger?
- Exactly!
889
00:41:02,126 --> 00:41:03,741
(Groans, screams)
890
00:41:04,754 --> 00:41:05,789
(Screams)
891
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,086
Release the child!
892
00:41:07,173 --> 00:41:09,004
Let go of that boy! I want him dead!
893
00:41:09,092 --> 00:41:10,673
Watson: Sweet river of piss.
894
00:41:10,802 --> 00:41:13,043
(Both sigh)
895
00:41:13,137 --> 00:41:14,502
You have real force there.
896
00:41:15,765 --> 00:41:17,175
Arc of stream.
897
00:41:17,266 --> 00:41:18,676
Direction of wind.
898
00:41:18,768 --> 00:41:20,599
Compensate for shy penis.
899
00:41:20,687 --> 00:41:22,518
Avoid splash on shoes.
900
00:41:23,106 --> 00:41:25,062
(Grunts) And release fluids.
901
00:41:25,149 --> 00:41:26,309
Oh, my goodness.
902
00:41:26,776 --> 00:41:29,643
Damn it, I forgot to unzip my pants.
903
00:41:30,279 --> 00:41:31,860
You really are a genius.
904
00:41:31,948 --> 00:41:33,028
- Oh, watch it.
- Oh, sorry.
905
00:41:34,367 --> 00:41:36,198
Watson: I should like
to send a telegram.
906
00:41:36,995 --> 00:41:38,656
Grace. Stop.
907
00:41:40,873 --> 00:41:43,114
- Are you awake? Stop.
- (Holmes chuckling)
908
00:41:45,628 --> 00:41:47,710
Uh, you're such a pretty doctor lady.
909
00:41:48,047 --> 00:41:49,662
- Ooh!
- ( Watson chuckles)
910
00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:51,502
Are you quite sure this is a good idea?
911
00:41:51,592 --> 00:41:52,957
(Slurring) This is wonderful.
912
00:41:53,052 --> 00:41:56,294
The combination of the late hour
and your drunkenness
913
00:41:56,389 --> 00:41:59,802
allows for communication
of exceptional honesty.
914
00:41:59,892 --> 00:42:00,892
Quite right.
915
00:42:00,977 --> 00:42:02,683
I will call it an intoxigram.
916
00:42:02,770 --> 00:42:05,307
And no one shall ever
regret sending one.
917
00:42:05,648 --> 00:42:08,390
Now, lay bare the fruits
of your inebriation.
918
00:42:08,484 --> 00:42:09,815
Ask her what she's wearing.
919
00:42:10,236 --> 00:42:12,101
What are you wearing? Stop.
920
00:42:12,655 --> 00:42:13,690
"What are you wearing?"
921
00:42:13,781 --> 00:42:14,987
Bloomers? (Chuckles)
922
00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:18,240
- Probably.
- What color? Stop.
923
00:42:18,327 --> 00:42:20,192
(Chuckles) A brassiere?
924
00:42:20,288 --> 00:42:22,324
I'd wager you'd look good in anything.
925
00:42:22,415 --> 00:42:23,746
Wonderful. - Stop.
926
00:42:23,833 --> 00:42:25,915
Shall I ask what Millie
thinks about you?
927
00:42:26,002 --> 00:42:27,037
Um...
928
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:30,127
(Sighs) I don't care. Sure. Why not?
929
00:42:30,214 --> 00:42:32,375
What does Millie think of Sherlock?
930
00:42:32,467 --> 00:42:36,130
Does Millie ever drip wax over her body?
931
00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:38,461
Hot wax. Stop.
932
00:42:38,848 --> 00:42:40,492
- Okay. That's enough.
“Watson: Yeah, I think so.
933
00:42:40,516 --> 00:42:44,054
Now show her
how she makes you feel. Huh?
934
00:42:44,604 --> 00:42:46,219
Just go ahead. Display it.
935
00:42:46,314 --> 00:42:47,429
(Unzips pants)
936
00:42:47,523 --> 00:42:48,523
- There.
- (Thud on table)
937
00:42:48,608 --> 00:42:50,098
Telegraph a picture of this.
938
00:42:50,234 --> 00:42:53,317
And make sure you get
the banger and the beans.
939
00:42:53,404 --> 00:42:54,735
Focus on the mushroom.
940
00:42:54,906 --> 00:42:57,568
Are you positive I shan't regret this
in the morning?
941
00:42:57,700 --> 00:42:59,565
(Chuckles) You absolutely will.
942
00:42:59,660 --> 00:43:01,196
- Silence, youl!
- Say it again.
943
00:43:01,287 --> 00:43:02,567
- Say it again. I dare you.
- Oh!
944
00:43:02,622 --> 00:43:03,932
Please say it. Please say it again.
945
00:43:03,956 --> 00:43:05,768
Do you think you would be
the first man I've killed?
946
00:43:05,792 --> 00:43:07,623
I have the penis of a baby doll.
947
00:43:11,172 --> 00:43:12,708
It's just a statement of fact.
948
00:43:14,675 --> 00:43:15,881
(Rooster crows)
949
00:43:15,968 --> 00:43:17,674
(Holmes and Watson chuckling)
950
00:43:17,762 --> 00:43:22,051
Oh, well, Watson, after a night
of drinking, I could eat a whole pie.
951
00:43:24,393 --> 00:43:25,883
Ah! Cakes, indeed!
952
00:43:25,978 --> 00:43:29,141
Yes. Yes, cakes stacked on cakes.
953
00:43:30,233 --> 00:43:31,973
We should open a restaurant called
954
00:43:32,068 --> 00:43:35,902
the international house of
cakes stacked upon other cakes.
955
00:43:36,155 --> 00:43:39,192
(Chuckling) Yes, and you can only
eat there after a night of drinking.
956
00:43:39,283 --> 00:43:41,345
Well, speaking of the night,
I fear it's a night wasted.
957
00:43:41,369 --> 00:43:43,109
- No sign of klinger anywhere.
- Mmm.
958
00:43:44,288 --> 00:43:45,869
Not so fast, Watson.
959
00:43:46,207 --> 00:43:48,789
I ook at those two men and their tattoos.
960
00:43:49,168 --> 00:43:50,453
I don't understand.
961
00:43:50,795 --> 00:43:53,207
We haven't been able
to find the tattoo artist.
962
00:43:53,297 --> 00:43:56,004
Perhaps we should follow the tattoos.
963
00:43:56,676 --> 00:43:58,962
(Grunting, indistinct chatter)
964
00:44:00,221 --> 00:44:01,461
Watson: A gymnasium?
965
00:44:01,556 --> 00:44:03,638
You really think klinger
would be here, Holmes?
966
00:44:03,724 --> 00:44:05,931
Look alive, Watson.
He could be anywhere.
967
00:44:06,811 --> 00:44:09,052
Trainer: Three, two, one.
968
00:44:09,397 --> 00:44:11,979
Pick it up. Pick it up. That's it.
969
00:44:12,066 --> 00:44:14,307
Instructor: Out with the bad air,
in with the good.
970
00:44:14,402 --> 00:44:15,754
Watson: Look at these health nuts.
971
00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:17,172
- (Men coughing)
- Instructor: Big deep breath.
972
00:44:17,196 --> 00:44:19,528
Watson: Obsessed with
the purifying effects of smoke.
973
00:44:19,615 --> 00:44:23,199
Instructor: All right, good lungful
of the cleansing vapors.
974
00:44:23,452 --> 00:44:25,784
(Exhales) I don't think
he's here, Holmes.
975
00:44:26,247 --> 00:44:28,363
- (Door opens)
- Man: Hello, hello, hello!
976
00:44:28,457 --> 00:44:30,322
Sherlock Holmes.
977
00:44:30,418 --> 00:44:31,498
Holmes: Ah.
978
00:44:32,003 --> 00:44:33,584
You must be Gustav klinger,
979
00:44:33,671 --> 00:44:36,253
the one-armed tattoo artist
of dorset street.
980
00:44:36,924 --> 00:44:38,289
I cooks like it.
981
00:44:38,885 --> 00:44:40,000
(Whirring)
982
00:44:40,636 --> 00:44:44,220
Gustav klinger, I accuse you
of poisoning Jimmy gruber
983
00:44:44,307 --> 00:44:46,343
and baking him into a large cake.
984
00:44:46,517 --> 00:44:50,760
A deliciously large cake
that I baked myself.
985
00:44:51,022 --> 00:44:52,387
Oh, please.
986
00:44:52,607 --> 00:44:53,813
How dare you!
987
00:44:54,066 --> 00:44:56,227
You did not bake that cake.
988
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,726
Not only did I bake it.
I decorated it, too.
989
00:44:58,988 --> 00:44:59,988
Impossible.
990
00:45:00,072 --> 00:45:01,437
It's got a frosting attachment.
991
00:45:01,532 --> 00:45:02,738
You're trying to tell me
992
00:45:02,825 --> 00:45:05,942
that a one-armed man made
a professional, bakery-quality cake
993
00:45:06,037 --> 00:45:07,243
fit for the queen. Watson.
994
00:45:07,330 --> 00:45:09,571
- It's just... it...
- It doesn't matter
995
00:45:09,665 --> 00:45:11,101
- if he baked the cake or not.
- It really bugs... I know.
996
00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:12,561
- It really...
“Watson: Best cake I've ever eaten.
997
00:45:12,585 --> 00:45:14,792
- I did bake the cake.
- All right, fine.
998
00:45:14,879 --> 00:45:16,415
You "baked the cake."
999
00:45:16,547 --> 00:45:18,913
I didn't "bake a cake."
1000
00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:20,880
I baked a cake.
1001
00:45:20,968 --> 00:45:22,003
Then you admit it.
1002
00:45:22,428 --> 00:45:24,089
You killed Jimmy gruber.
1003
00:45:24,180 --> 00:45:25,740
Klinger: And what if I did, Mr. Holmes?
1004
00:45:26,307 --> 00:45:29,219
It's not as if you're in a position
to do anything about it.
1005
00:45:29,435 --> 00:45:31,471
He's right, Sherlock Holmes.
1006
00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:35,354
- You've walked straight into our trap.
- (Crowd exclaiming)
1007
00:45:35,983 --> 00:45:37,723
- Moriarty.
- Quiet, Watson.
1008
00:45:37,985 --> 00:45:41,477
In the name of the queen,
I arrest you both.
1009
00:45:41,864 --> 00:45:43,650
(Chuckling) Oh, come, Sherlock.
1010
00:45:44,242 --> 00:45:45,982
You don't think it'll be that easy.
1011
00:45:46,077 --> 00:45:48,409
You won't be leaving here alive,
Mr. Holmes,
1012
00:45:49,247 --> 00:45:53,707
unless, of course, you fight
your way out of the hexagon.
1013
00:45:53,834 --> 00:45:56,120
(Crowd murmuring)
1014
00:45:57,213 --> 00:45:58,453
Where are you pointing?
1015
00:45:59,882 --> 00:46:00,882
There.
1016
00:46:01,008 --> 00:46:02,088
This way or that way?
1017
00:46:02,885 --> 00:46:03,965
There.
1018
00:46:04,053 --> 00:46:05,543
Holmes: Oh.
Klinger: The hexagon.
1019
00:46:05,638 --> 00:46:07,720
But I won't fight a one-armed man.
1020
00:46:07,807 --> 00:46:09,672
Oh, no. I've got this, Sherlock.
(Sniffs)
1021
00:46:10,768 --> 00:46:13,128
It won't be the first time
I've fought a cripple. (Chuckles)
1022
00:46:13,354 --> 00:46:14,469
Oh, uh...
1023
00:46:14,563 --> 00:46:15,928
You won't be fighting me.
1024
00:46:16,107 --> 00:46:18,063
Nah, nah, nah.
1025
00:46:18,276 --> 00:46:19,607
You're fighting my mate.
1026
00:46:20,069 --> 00:46:21,934
Meet brawn.
1027
00:46:24,323 --> 00:46:25,608
(Strains) (Thuds)
1028
00:46:39,839 --> 00:46:41,454
Oh, come on.
1029
00:46:41,549 --> 00:46:42,914
(Moriarty laughs menacingly)
1030
00:46:43,009 --> 00:46:44,249
Well, I call bullshit.
1031
00:46:44,385 --> 00:46:47,343
(Bell dinging) (Crowd cheering)
1032
00:46:48,222 --> 00:46:50,679
I fear it might be suicide
to fight this man.
1033
00:46:50,766 --> 00:46:53,007
I think it's mostly psychological.
1034
00:46:53,102 --> 00:46:54,217
(Roaring)
1035
00:46:55,146 --> 00:46:56,181
(Crowd exclaims)
1036
00:46:56,272 --> 00:46:58,854
I'm psychologically
scared shitless right now.
1037
00:46:58,941 --> 00:47:01,432
Crowd: (Chanting) Fight! Fight! Fight!
1038
00:47:01,569 --> 00:47:03,105
(Roaring)
1039
00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:05,902
Okay. Okay.
1040
00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:08,857
But if you want to watch this fight,
you have to pay.
1041
00:47:08,951 --> 00:47:10,361
You have to pay to view it.
1042
00:47:10,453 --> 00:47:13,695
- (Crowd groaning)
- This is a pay-to-view-it fight.
1043
00:47:13,789 --> 00:47:15,825
Watson: Yes, I know
it seems a bit unfair,
1044
00:47:15,916 --> 00:47:17,622
but if you split it among a few friends
1045
00:47:17,710 --> 00:47:19,325
and buy some beers, some pizza,
1046
00:47:19,420 --> 00:47:21,502
it could be a fun thing to do
with the guys.
1047
00:47:21,714 --> 00:47:26,299
It's time!
1048
00:47:26,510 --> 00:47:28,922
- Let's get ready to scuffle!
- (All cheering)
1049
00:47:29,638 --> 00:47:30,923
(Bell dinging)
1050
00:47:31,015 --> 00:47:33,381
Crowd: (Chanting)
Scuffle! Scuffle! Scuffle!
1051
00:47:33,476 --> 00:47:34,476
Man: Nicel
1052
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:35,845
Holmes: What is she doing here?
1053
00:47:35,978 --> 00:47:37,138
It's 6:00 in the morning.
1054
00:47:37,521 --> 00:47:38,761
Holmes, I don't know why...
1055
00:47:38,856 --> 00:47:40,687
- Yes.
- But that really jacked me up.
1056
00:47:40,775 --> 00:47:42,811
- Ah!
- I think I might stand a chance.
1057
00:47:42,902 --> 00:47:44,733
It reminds me of Istanbul.
1058
00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:47,277
Exactly. And what
did I beat in Istanbul?
1059
00:47:47,615 --> 00:47:49,276
- Syphilis!
- Syphilis! Exactly.
1060
00:47:49,367 --> 00:47:50,607
- Go get him.
- All right.
1061
00:47:51,369 --> 00:47:52,404
Come on!
1062
00:47:52,495 --> 00:47:53,860
"Come on"? You come on!
1063
00:47:53,954 --> 00:47:55,410
You!
1064
00:47:55,498 --> 00:47:56,954
You mountain of flesh.
1065
00:47:57,041 --> 00:47:58,702
(Shouting)
1066
00:47:59,168 --> 00:48:00,783
(Screaming)
1067
00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:02,709
(Roaring)
1068
00:48:02,797 --> 00:48:05,664
(Crowd cheering)
1069
00:48:05,966 --> 00:48:07,706
Your turn, Mr. Holmes!
1070
00:48:08,177 --> 00:48:10,543
Yes, I know. Of course I'm next.
1071
00:48:15,559 --> 00:48:17,641
Holmes: Opponent, 350 pounds.
1072
00:48:18,020 --> 00:48:19,260
Use pipe.
1073
00:48:19,563 --> 00:48:22,179
Create diversion to distract his gaze.
1074
00:48:23,943 --> 00:48:25,149
Plan of attack,
1075
00:48:26,028 --> 00:48:28,815
surprise first blow to center of mass.
1076
00:48:28,906 --> 00:48:31,147
Gracefully dodge counterpunch.
1077
00:48:31,700 --> 00:48:33,440
Employ visual impairment.
1078
00:48:33,536 --> 00:48:34,867
(Screams)
1079
00:48:34,954 --> 00:48:36,990
Easily duck wild swing.
1080
00:48:37,498 --> 00:48:40,706
Utilize Tibetan ototoxic method
1081
00:48:40,793 --> 00:48:42,374
- to disrupt his balance.
- (Groaning)
1082
00:48:44,130 --> 00:48:45,370
Grab facial hair.
1083
00:48:45,464 --> 00:48:46,749
Use for leverage.
1084
00:48:47,216 --> 00:48:49,127
Okinawan beard flip.
1085
00:48:51,679 --> 00:48:53,340
Enemy incapacitated.
1086
00:48:54,098 --> 00:48:55,178
Catch pipe.
1087
00:48:56,350 --> 00:48:58,591
Revel in crowd's adulation.
1088
00:49:00,104 --> 00:49:03,221
(Crowd cheering)
1089
00:49:10,698 --> 00:49:12,563
(Holmes grunts) (Chuckling)
1090
00:49:14,118 --> 00:49:15,198
Oh, no.
1091
00:49:15,494 --> 00:49:16,859
( Watson yells) (Groans)
1092
00:49:16,996 --> 00:49:18,031
(Crowd exclaims)
1093
00:49:18,581 --> 00:49:19,661
Good show, Watson.
1094
00:49:19,748 --> 00:49:21,284
Thank you, Holmes. (Yells)
1095
00:49:21,417 --> 00:49:22,657
(Groans)
1096
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:24,245
Break his pelvis.
1097
00:49:24,753 --> 00:49:26,289
- (Groans)
- Go! Again!
1098
00:49:27,006 --> 00:49:28,871
Club him like a baby seal.
1099
00:49:29,467 --> 00:49:30,502
(Grunts)
1100
00:49:33,053 --> 00:49:34,088
(Watson panting)
1101
00:49:34,180 --> 00:49:36,091
- What have I done?
- No, you're fine.
1102
00:49:36,390 --> 00:49:37,880
- Okay.
- Now,
1103
00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:41,308
tell us everything you know
about the plot to kill the queen.
1104
00:49:42,188 --> 00:49:43,188
All right.
1105
00:49:43,481 --> 00:49:45,142
I'll tell you everything I know.
1106
00:49:47,318 --> 00:49:48,808
I've been stabbed in the back.
1107
00:49:51,530 --> 00:49:52,736
Meaning? Oh.
1108
00:49:52,823 --> 00:49:54,529
Metaphorically speaking, yes.
1109
00:49:54,617 --> 00:49:57,450
No, I've literally
been stabbed in the back...
1110
00:49:57,536 --> 00:49:59,322
(Crowd exclaiming) (Gasps)
1111
00:49:59,747 --> 00:50:01,032
Holmes, he's escaping.
1112
00:50:03,667 --> 00:50:04,702
(Groans)
1113
00:50:06,420 --> 00:50:08,001
(Gasping)
1114
00:50:10,049 --> 00:50:11,664
So moriarty is in england.
1115
00:50:11,759 --> 00:50:14,751
(Sighs) Watson.
Does it look like moriarty
1116
00:50:14,929 --> 00:50:16,385
- now?
- (Groans)
1117
00:50:16,931 --> 00:50:18,091
Who is this?
1118
00:50:18,349 --> 00:50:19,805
Jacob musgrave,
1119
00:50:20,434 --> 00:50:22,220
as I've been saying all along.
1120
00:50:22,645 --> 00:50:24,727
A man who looks so much like moriarty,
1121
00:50:24,813 --> 00:50:27,429
a simple beard fooled almost everyone.
1122
00:50:27,525 --> 00:50:28,856
(Whimpers) All right, I admit it.
1123
00:50:28,943 --> 00:50:30,353
I am no moriarty.
1124
00:50:30,861 --> 00:50:32,397
My name is musgrave,
1125
00:50:32,488 --> 00:50:33,819
just like he says.
1126
00:50:35,199 --> 00:50:36,780
- Wow.
- Holmes: Who put you up to this?
1127
00:50:37,284 --> 00:50:40,026
Oh, they've been leaving me notes
telling me what to do.
1128
00:50:40,579 --> 00:50:41,694
I don't know who it is.
1129
00:50:41,789 --> 00:50:43,950
I swear, I'm just a simple wanker.
1130
00:50:44,208 --> 00:50:45,698
He's telling the truth, Watson.
1131
00:50:46,210 --> 00:50:48,121
This morally deficient creature,
1132
00:50:48,712 --> 00:50:52,330
this awful, awful excuse
for a man, this...
1133
00:50:52,424 --> 00:50:54,710
- Bag of rubbish.
- Yes, good one, Watson. Yes.
1134
00:50:54,802 --> 00:50:56,542
Come on, guys. I'm dying.
1135
00:50:56,637 --> 00:50:59,128
These are the wages of wanking, you see?
1136
00:50:59,223 --> 00:51:00,929
Wait, wait, wait. “What?
1137
00:51:01,433 --> 00:51:02,468
Just a...
1138
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:03,640
Don't wank on us.
1139
00:51:05,187 --> 00:51:06,302
A coal.
1140
00:51:07,147 --> 00:51:09,638
Said you were to take it to newcastle.
1141
00:51:11,443 --> 00:51:13,559
- A lump of coal?
“Musgrave: Yeah.
1142
00:51:13,779 --> 00:51:14,985
To newcastle?
1143
00:51:15,072 --> 00:51:16,562
Newcastle by the river?
1144
00:51:17,032 --> 00:51:19,865
Holmes: Perhaps this clue will lead us
to the real mastermind.
1145
00:51:19,952 --> 00:51:20,952
Time is running out.
1146
00:51:21,036 --> 00:51:22,276
We must save the queen.
1147
00:51:22,371 --> 00:51:23,736
Good luck to you.
1148
00:51:23,831 --> 00:51:24,866
(Exhales)
1149
00:51:25,457 --> 00:51:27,413
(London town by dub pistols plays)
1150
00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:29,662
(Singing) While speeding to London town
1151
00:51:29,753 --> 00:51:32,369
bad man he said we gotta get down
1152
00:51:32,464 --> 00:51:35,001
keep smiling and forget that frown
1153
00:51:35,092 --> 00:51:37,504
little reason to keep that crown
1154
00:51:37,595 --> 00:51:40,177
while speeding to London town
1155
00:51:40,264 --> 00:51:42,926
bad man he said we gotta get down
1156
00:51:43,017 --> 00:51:45,429
keep smiling and forget that frown...
1157
00:51:45,519 --> 00:51:48,602
Holmes: Bring these coals to newcastle.
1158
00:51:48,689 --> 00:51:49,974
Coals.
1159
00:51:50,524 --> 00:51:52,731
Coals. "Sherlock."
1160
00:51:52,818 --> 00:51:55,776
"Three days until I rewrite
history and kill the queen.”
1161
00:51:55,863 --> 00:51:57,632
Grace: Millicent is the subject
of my research.
1162
00:51:57,656 --> 00:51:58,736
Holmes: Coals to newcastle.
1163
00:51:58,782 --> 00:52:01,694
Talking to you, it's as if our brains
are sharing a tandem bicycle.
1164
00:52:01,785 --> 00:52:03,054
Grace: She has the mental capacity of...
1165
00:52:03,078 --> 00:52:04,222
- (Cackles)
- Holmes: Now you have but three days...
1166
00:52:04,246 --> 00:52:06,703
Bring these coals to newcastle.
1167
00:52:06,790 --> 00:52:09,657
(Singing) Co-detective
Sherlock and me
1168
00:52:09,752 --> 00:52:10,912
uh... oh.
1169
00:52:11,003 --> 00:52:12,539
Good morning, Sherlock.
1170
00:52:13,172 --> 00:52:14,708
- What's happened?
- Well, I'm...
1171
00:52:14,798 --> 00:52:17,039
I'm trying to untangle
this baffling clue.
1172
00:52:17,134 --> 00:52:18,169
Ah.
1173
00:52:18,260 --> 00:52:20,672
Ever since I met Millie,
my mind is muddled.
1174
00:52:20,846 --> 00:52:24,885
Do you suppose she's infected me
with some sort of a disease?
1175
00:52:25,059 --> 00:52:26,059
Disease?
1176
00:52:26,143 --> 00:52:27,508
My heart races.
1177
00:52:27,811 --> 00:52:29,051
My palms sweat.
1178
00:52:29,229 --> 00:52:30,844
I have all these feelings.
1179
00:52:30,981 --> 00:52:33,723
Holmes, get a hold of yourself.
You're not sick.
1180
00:52:34,860 --> 00:52:35,895
You're in love.
1181
00:52:36,028 --> 00:52:37,984
I ove? Horseradish!
1182
00:52:38,113 --> 00:52:39,228
I'm a man of logic.
1183
00:52:39,323 --> 00:52:40,643
There's nothing to be ashamed of.
1184
00:52:40,699 --> 00:52:45,238
In fact, I, too, have been taken
by this malady called love.
1185
00:52:45,746 --> 00:52:48,362
Grace has asked me to call upon her.
1186
00:52:48,874 --> 00:52:49,989
Apparently,
1187
00:52:50,668 --> 00:52:53,535
I sent her quite the charming
telegram last night.
1188
00:52:53,629 --> 00:52:54,960
(Chuckling)
1189
00:52:55,047 --> 00:52:56,583
Watson, you've cracked it.
1190
00:52:57,007 --> 00:52:58,372
Have I? Co-detective?
1191
00:52:58,467 --> 00:52:59,547
Think, Watson. Uh...
1192
00:52:59,635 --> 00:53:01,216
Is there a single logical reason
1193
00:53:01,303 --> 00:53:03,134
for grace to want to seek your company?
1194
00:53:03,806 --> 00:53:05,046
Romantic interest?
1195
00:53:05,307 --> 00:53:06,968
- No.
- My eyes?
1196
00:53:07,059 --> 00:53:08,174
It's all a ruse.
1197
00:53:08,268 --> 00:53:10,304
Moriarty escapes to America,
1198
00:53:10,396 --> 00:53:12,933
and then these two
American women show up?
1199
00:53:13,399 --> 00:53:17,062
Sorry, you're saying
grace is the killer?
1200
00:53:17,152 --> 00:53:19,859
Of course she's not the killer.
She's an American.
1201
00:53:19,947 --> 00:53:22,233
- She would have used a gun.
- Ah. Hmm.
1202
00:53:22,324 --> 00:53:25,236
No, grace is working for the killer.
1203
00:53:25,327 --> 00:53:26,362
On.
1204
00:53:26,453 --> 00:53:28,318
We shall seduce her,
1205
00:53:28,414 --> 00:53:30,245
and that will lead us to the murderer.
1206
00:53:30,541 --> 00:53:31,576
Mmm-hmm.
1207
00:53:32,042 --> 00:53:33,703
- Yes.
- (Knocking at door)
1208
00:53:35,212 --> 00:53:36,692
Who could that be at this early hour?
1209
00:53:36,755 --> 00:53:38,416
- (Knocking continues)
- Enter.
1210
00:53:44,805 --> 00:53:46,636
- Watson: Her majesty.
- (Gasps)
1211
00:53:47,766 --> 00:53:49,597
Have you come to see me?
1212
00:53:50,728 --> 00:53:53,640
Mr. Holmes, I have
but two days left to live
1213
00:53:53,731 --> 00:53:55,687
unless you can solve this case.
1214
00:53:56,608 --> 00:53:58,815
My queen, do come in.
1215
00:53:59,778 --> 00:54:02,064
I shall speak
with Mr. Holmes in private.
1216
00:54:04,950 --> 00:54:06,110
Your majesty.
1217
00:54:06,493 --> 00:54:07,653
You'll be happy to know
1218
00:54:07,745 --> 00:54:10,532
that, just this morning
we discovered a new clue.
1219
00:54:10,998 --> 00:54:12,454
This chunk of coal.
1220
00:54:12,916 --> 00:54:14,201
What does it mean?
1221
00:54:14,293 --> 00:54:15,874
It's quite a mystery.
1222
00:54:15,961 --> 00:54:17,747
(Giggles)
1223
00:54:17,838 --> 00:54:19,203
Is this going to be a problem?
1224
00:54:19,631 --> 00:54:20,666
Watson.
1225
00:54:20,758 --> 00:54:23,044
Perhaps the queen would enjoy some tea.
1226
00:54:23,135 --> 00:54:24,545
Oh, yes, of course.
1227
00:54:26,096 --> 00:54:29,509
Mr. Holmes,
the empire is depending on you.
1228
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:32,888
Your majesty, I now suspect
two American women
1229
00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:35,181
are somehow involved in this plot.
1230
00:54:36,315 --> 00:54:37,315
Sorry.
1231
00:54:38,108 --> 00:54:39,188
Your majesty,
1232
00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:42,644
do you think I could have
a picture of us together?
1233
00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:44,896
But who is going to take the photograph?
1234
00:54:44,990 --> 00:54:46,730
Oh, no, I'll take the photograph.
1235
00:54:46,992 --> 00:54:49,449
You see,
it's a type of a self-photograph.
1236
00:54:49,536 --> 00:54:51,902
I can take it, and I will be in it also.
1237
00:54:51,997 --> 00:54:54,864
You know what? I find,
to take the most attractive photographs,
1238
00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:58,542
you need to purse your lips together
like a duck-billed platypus.
1239
00:54:58,796 --> 00:55:00,752
Platypus face. Chins up.
1240
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,212
- Hey.
- Hey. Hey, girl.
1241
00:55:05,302 --> 00:55:06,917
You know, maybe over by the window.
1242
00:55:07,012 --> 00:55:08,990
- The lighting's much better there.
- Yes, yes, capital idea.
1243
00:55:09,014 --> 00:55:10,550
(Groans) (Thudding)
1244
00:55:10,641 --> 00:55:12,802
- Oh, god. Ma'am, ma'am.
- Holmes: Oh! Oh!
1245
00:55:12,893 --> 00:55:14,633
Ma'am! Your majesty.
1246
00:55:14,728 --> 00:55:16,343
Oh, ma'am. Ma'am.
1247
00:55:16,814 --> 00:55:17,894
Oh, dear.
1248
00:55:19,191 --> 00:55:20,431
Tell me, Watson.
1249
00:55:22,027 --> 00:55:23,312
She's dead.
1250
00:55:24,988 --> 00:55:26,273
Holmes: Dear god.
1251
00:55:26,406 --> 00:55:28,317
(Breathing heavily)
1252
00:55:28,408 --> 00:55:30,364
- We've killed the queen.
- (Knocking on door)
1253
00:55:30,702 --> 00:55:32,158
Are you all right, your majesty?
1254
00:55:33,038 --> 00:55:34,078
(Imitating the queen) Yes.
1255
00:55:34,122 --> 00:55:35,987
- Yes, I'm all right.
- Are you sure?
1256
00:55:36,083 --> 00:55:37,227
(Imitating the queen)
Yes, I'm quite fine.
1257
00:55:37,251 --> 00:55:40,118
My lover, John Watson,
will take good care of me.
1258
00:55:42,297 --> 00:55:44,458
(Whispers)
Why did you want that photograph?
1259
00:55:44,758 --> 00:55:46,999
I didn't want the photograph.
1260
00:55:47,094 --> 00:55:48,959
What are you talking about?
1261
00:55:49,054 --> 00:55:50,715
Mr. Holmes? Dr. Watson?
1262
00:55:50,931 --> 00:55:52,796
(Imitating the queen)
I'm very, very safe.
1263
00:55:52,891 --> 00:55:55,382
- (Whispering) She's so dead.
- She's so dead.
1264
00:55:55,769 --> 00:55:56,929
Watson: I know. Holmes: Okay.
1265
00:55:56,979 --> 00:55:58,310
We'll shove her down the toilet
1266
00:55:58,397 --> 00:56:00,934
as if she was never here,
and we'll deny ever seeing her.
1267
00:56:01,024 --> 00:56:02,464
- Right. Excellent.
- (Both grunting)
1268
00:56:02,776 --> 00:56:03,896
- Holmes: Come on.
- Come up.
1269
00:56:05,946 --> 00:56:07,482
Here we are. Into the bathroom.
1270
00:56:07,573 --> 00:56:09,188
(Thud) (Both grunting)
1271
00:56:09,283 --> 00:56:10,819
Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson.
1272
00:56:10,909 --> 00:56:12,274
- What was the big bang?
- (Gasps)
1273
00:56:12,369 --> 00:56:13,680
- We must buy some time.
- (Gasps)
1274
00:56:13,704 --> 00:56:14,889
- Right.
- Let's get her to the door.
1275
00:56:14,913 --> 00:56:16,119
Guard: Open this door! Wait.
1276
00:56:16,874 --> 00:56:18,434
Watson: (Imitating the queen)
Hello. What do you want?
1277
00:56:18,458 --> 00:56:19,789
Ma'am, are you all right?
1278
00:56:19,877 --> 00:56:22,038
Yes, of course I'm fine. Can't you see?
1279
00:56:22,212 --> 00:56:23,273
Yes, of course, ma'am. I'm so sorry.
1280
00:56:23,297 --> 00:56:24,524
We've got it from here, boys. Thank you.
1281
00:56:24,548 --> 00:56:25,775
- We're good.
- Guard: Yes, sir.
1282
00:56:25,799 --> 00:56:27,255
(Door locks) (Both grunting)
1283
00:56:27,342 --> 00:56:28,457
The trunk. Yes.
1284
00:56:28,677 --> 00:56:30,383
Yes, we'll mail her to Africa.
1285
00:56:30,470 --> 00:56:31,755
(Both grunting)
1286
00:56:31,847 --> 00:56:33,047
Watson: Come on, ma'am. Sorry.
1287
00:56:33,432 --> 00:56:34,467
Holmes: There we go.
1288
00:56:34,558 --> 00:56:35,558
Stuff her in there.
1289
00:56:35,809 --> 00:56:37,120
- Really thrust.
- (Watson grunting)
1290
00:56:37,144 --> 00:56:38,554
Good. Good.
1291
00:56:39,271 --> 00:56:40,602
Good. Good.
1292
00:56:41,023 --> 00:56:42,663
- Hold on, Watson.
- Guard: Come on, boys.
1293
00:56:42,691 --> 00:56:44,556
- Open the door!
- (Grunting)
1294
00:56:44,651 --> 00:56:46,437
Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson.
1295
00:56:46,528 --> 00:56:48,814
- One, two, three. Watch your fingers.
- (Both grunting)
1296
00:56:49,990 --> 00:56:51,776
Guard: Open this door immediately!
1297
00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:53,107
This is bad.
1298
00:56:53,201 --> 00:56:54,987
- You know what we must do.
- (Door banging)
1299
00:56:56,038 --> 00:56:57,244
Grab your toolbox.
1300
00:56:57,331 --> 00:56:59,868
Let me in! I'm breaking down the door!
1301
00:57:00,083 --> 00:57:01,163
(Both grunting)
1302
00:57:01,752 --> 00:57:03,788
- Bone saw.
- Bone saw.
1303
00:57:03,879 --> 00:57:05,315
Watson: Oh, god.
Guard: Come on! Push! Come on, together!
1304
00:57:05,339 --> 00:57:08,081
Watson, toilet-sized chunks.
1305
00:57:08,175 --> 00:57:09,235
Guard: Put your back into it!
1306
00:57:09,259 --> 00:57:10,544
(Guards grunt) (Door opens)
1307
00:57:12,846 --> 00:57:14,211
Good god!
1308
00:57:16,224 --> 00:57:17,384
(Gasps)
1309
00:57:17,476 --> 00:57:18,932
Platypus lips.
1310
00:57:23,565 --> 00:57:24,896
(Bone saw clatters)
1311
00:57:25,901 --> 00:57:29,735
Can you send me a copy
of the self-photograph?
1312
00:57:30,906 --> 00:57:32,396
Absolutely.
1313
00:57:33,241 --> 00:57:37,154
It will arrive at the palace
in about a week.
1314
00:57:38,789 --> 00:57:39,869
Gentlemen,
1315
00:57:40,207 --> 00:57:43,620
you have two days to stop this killer.
1316
00:57:43,919 --> 00:57:44,999
Yes, ma'am.
1317
00:57:46,213 --> 00:57:47,453
God save the queen.
1318
00:57:50,759 --> 00:57:52,249
(Indistinct chatter)
1319
00:57:52,344 --> 00:57:56,007
What a perfect day for a picnic
at London's greatest spectacle,
1320
00:57:56,181 --> 00:57:57,921
the anglo-American exhibition.
1321
00:57:58,433 --> 00:58:00,389
A celebration of that
special relationship
1322
00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:02,263
between our nation and yours.
1323
00:58:02,354 --> 00:58:04,345
Yes, such a special relationship
1324
00:58:04,439 --> 00:58:06,225
between these two nations,
1325
00:58:06,483 --> 00:58:08,474
although I could never live
1326
00:58:08,568 --> 00:58:10,524
in a country with an unelected ruler
1327
00:58:10,612 --> 00:58:11,612
like the queen.
1328
00:58:11,738 --> 00:58:13,444
(Scoffs) Why ever not?
1329
00:58:13,782 --> 00:58:15,818
In America, we have democracy.
1330
00:58:16,034 --> 00:58:18,901
Our president is a person
our people have all chosen.
1331
00:58:18,996 --> 00:58:20,031
Mmm.
1332
00:58:20,122 --> 00:58:24,161
An assurance that only the finest
and most qualified man will lead,
1333
00:58:24,334 --> 00:58:28,293
not a wealthy tyrant
who cares for nothing but himself.
1334
00:58:28,380 --> 00:58:31,042
But you have the electoral college,
which surely will prevent
1335
00:58:31,133 --> 00:58:33,499
some trumped-up charlatan
from gaining power.
1336
00:58:33,593 --> 00:58:35,174
Not always, unfortunately.
1337
00:58:35,303 --> 00:58:37,464
It would be great
to have a strong businessman.
1338
00:58:37,556 --> 00:58:38,966
But a showman as well.
1339
00:58:39,141 --> 00:58:40,381
I love a good show.
1340
00:58:40,475 --> 00:58:42,431
- America.
- (Grace and Watson chuckle)
1341
00:58:42,519 --> 00:58:45,352
We gave you your freedom,
and now look what you've done with it.
1342
00:58:45,772 --> 00:58:47,808
Announcer: London's spectacle...
1343
00:58:48,275 --> 00:58:49,731
Holmes: Remember, Watson. (Grunts)
1344
00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:52,943
Relax them with small talk,
then begin the seduction.
1345
00:58:53,655 --> 00:58:55,270
I must say, she doesn't look
1346
00:58:55,365 --> 00:58:57,276
like she could be
an accessory to murder.
1347
00:58:58,577 --> 00:59:00,613
Well, looks can be deceiving.
1348
00:59:00,996 --> 00:59:02,156
(Whiny grunt)
1349
00:59:02,497 --> 00:59:04,328
Remember, we're here to seduce.
1350
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:08,868
These physical displays of strength
will enchant them.
1351
00:59:09,254 --> 00:59:10,254
Watson: Ah.
1352
00:59:10,338 --> 00:59:12,454
(Verdi's la Donna e mobile plays)
1353
00:59:12,549 --> 00:59:13,629
(Panting)
1354
00:59:13,717 --> 00:59:15,207
I could use a bit of cocaine.
1355
00:59:15,302 --> 00:59:16,883
Did you bring a vial with you?
1356
00:59:18,263 --> 00:59:20,379
(Both grunting maniacally)
1357
00:59:20,766 --> 00:59:21,926
Very good.
1358
00:59:24,269 --> 00:59:25,805
(Both yelling)
1359
00:59:28,732 --> 00:59:30,063
(Groans)
1360
00:59:30,150 --> 00:59:32,266
Are you all right?
I'm... I'm exhausted.
1361
00:59:32,778 --> 00:59:35,144
There is one test I can employ
1362
00:59:35,238 --> 00:59:37,854
to prove she truly is
who she says she is.
1363
00:59:38,033 --> 00:59:39,364
Then do it, Holmes.
1364
00:59:39,451 --> 00:59:41,863
Employ your last test.
I simply must know.
1365
00:59:41,953 --> 00:59:43,068
(Groans)
1366
00:59:45,082 --> 00:59:46,367
- Help!
- John?
1367
00:59:46,458 --> 00:59:48,218
- This man has been taken ill.
- Grace: What?
1368
00:59:50,670 --> 00:59:51,670
I et me see.
1369
00:59:51,755 --> 00:59:53,620
If only there were a doctor present.
1370
00:59:54,132 --> 00:59:56,965
Clearly, he's had a severe blow
to his occipital bone.
1371
00:59:57,427 --> 00:59:58,427
He's concussed.
1372
00:59:58,512 --> 01:00:00,924
- And I am a doctor.
- A doctor?
1373
01:00:01,014 --> 01:00:03,756
A woman doctor.
What times we live in. (Sighs)
1374
01:00:04,226 --> 01:00:05,432
Could it be?
1375
01:00:06,103 --> 01:00:08,389
Is grace truly a doctor?
1376
01:00:08,855 --> 01:00:11,187
Are her feelings of affection genuine?
1377
01:00:11,399 --> 01:00:12,980
Then she's innocent.
1378
01:00:13,360 --> 01:00:14,645
Watson, get up.
1379
01:00:14,736 --> 01:00:15,976
We need to go see my brother.
1380
01:00:16,071 --> 01:00:18,107
- I love you, grace.
- Oh!
1381
01:00:20,492 --> 01:00:22,983
Watson: The legendary
diogenes men's club.
1382
01:00:23,078 --> 01:00:26,866
Holmes: Home of London's most awkward
gentlemen and my brother. (Exclaims)
1383
01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:28,538
(Bird screeching)
1384
01:00:28,625 --> 01:00:29,865
- Holmes.
- Mmm.
1385
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:31,416
I can't believe you have a brother.
1386
01:00:31,503 --> 01:00:33,368
Yes, but we're nothing alike.
1387
01:00:33,547 --> 01:00:35,879
He's an arrogant man
who never appreciates
1388
01:00:35,966 --> 01:00:37,251
the people around him.
1389
01:00:37,717 --> 01:00:39,253
Butler: Follow me. Here.
1390
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:45,551
Mycroft: Well, well, well.
1391
01:00:47,644 --> 01:00:50,135
So you are finally seeking
your brother's help.
1392
01:00:51,022 --> 01:00:52,662
- (Sighs)
- I must say, I'm not surprised.
1393
01:00:53,191 --> 01:00:55,728
And this vague assembly
of limbs and fatty tissue,
1394
01:00:55,819 --> 01:00:57,275
I assume, is Dr. Watson.
1395
01:00:57,362 --> 01:00:58,397
Mmm.
1396
01:01:01,700 --> 01:01:03,907
(Muffled, distorted voices)
1397
01:01:11,626 --> 01:01:13,491
So shall I get us started?
1398
01:01:13,587 --> 01:01:15,794
(Men shushing)
1399
01:01:16,256 --> 01:01:17,996
Watson, please.
1400
01:01:18,091 --> 01:01:20,047
We're in the middle of a conversation.
1401
01:01:20,135 --> 01:01:21,135
Can't you see?
1402
01:01:21,261 --> 01:01:23,752
When the two most brilliant minds
in all of england
1403
01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:25,132
have a fraternal bond,
1404
01:01:25,223 --> 01:01:27,214
words are an inefficiency.
1405
01:01:27,309 --> 01:01:29,800
We communicate without words, silently,
1406
01:01:29,895 --> 01:01:32,181
from giant brain to gianter brain.
1407
01:01:32,355 --> 01:01:33,355
Watson: Of course.
1408
01:01:34,149 --> 01:01:36,435
I'll join in as I see fit. (Chuckles)
1409
01:01:36,735 --> 01:01:37,850
(Both clear throat)
1410
01:01:39,905 --> 01:01:42,692
Mycroft: I can spare a few minutes
fo solve your little mystery
1411
01:01:42,782 --> 01:01:45,819
and help quench your thirst
for public adulation.
1412
01:01:45,911 --> 01:01:48,072
Holmes: My thirst is for logic.
1413
01:01:48,163 --> 01:01:52,247
I don't care what the public
thinks of London's best-loved detective,
1414
01:01:52,334 --> 01:01:53,540
Sherlock Holmes.
1415
01:01:53,627 --> 01:01:55,333
Watson: Thoughts. (Groans)
1416
01:01:55,420 --> 01:01:57,035
- (Feedback squeals)
- Me-me talky.
1417
01:01:57,380 --> 01:01:58,711
Me-me talky.
1418
01:01:58,798 --> 01:02:00,254
You find killer.
1419
01:02:00,342 --> 01:02:03,084
Me-me talky? We find killer?
1420
01:02:03,553 --> 01:02:06,090
Watson, what are you trying to do?
1421
01:02:06,181 --> 01:02:07,387
Trying to brain-speak.
1422
01:02:07,474 --> 01:02:09,214
Holmes: You're going to hurt yourself.
1423
01:02:09,517 --> 01:02:11,223
Uh, sorry. (Chuckles)
1424
01:02:11,519 --> 01:02:13,931
Uh, perhaps the gentleman
would be more comfortable
1425
01:02:14,022 --> 01:02:16,013
in the companions' chamber.
1426
01:02:16,858 --> 01:02:20,191
Perhaps, or perhaps
I'd be comfortable here by the fire.
1427
01:02:20,445 --> 01:02:22,857
- In the companions' chamber, sir.
- Yes, fine. Of course.
1428
01:02:22,948 --> 01:02:24,984
Great idea. Yeah, capital idea.
1429
01:02:25,075 --> 01:02:26,611
I'll be in the companions' room.
Yes.
1430
01:02:26,701 --> 01:02:29,317
The equal companions' room,
should you need me.
1431
01:02:29,788 --> 01:02:30,868
It's just here.
1432
01:02:31,289 --> 01:02:32,995
(Monkey screeching)
1433
01:02:34,918 --> 01:02:35,918
(Door closes)
1434
01:02:36,002 --> 01:02:38,322
Butler: Please enjoy the company
of your fellow companions.
1435
01:02:38,505 --> 01:02:39,711
I see. Huh.
1436
01:02:40,548 --> 01:02:43,711
Balloons are happy,
but they're not alive.
1437
01:02:45,178 --> 01:02:46,489
Fair enough. (Chuckles nervously)
1438
01:02:46,513 --> 01:02:47,548
(Lock clicks)
1439
01:02:48,306 --> 01:02:50,467
(Doorknob rattling)
1440
01:02:51,309 --> 01:02:55,143
Holmes: Who is this brilliant Nemesis
capable of besting me?
1441
01:02:55,647 --> 01:02:59,014
Mycroft: If your Nemesis
were truly smarter than you,
1442
01:02:59,109 --> 01:03:00,349
it could only be me.
1443
01:03:01,111 --> 01:03:03,318
And as I am not the killer,
ohne must conclude
1444
01:03:03,405 --> 01:03:06,488
that the killer did not,
nor could not, outwit you.
1445
01:03:06,783 --> 01:03:09,650
Holmes: If the killer
is my intellectual inferior,
1446
01:03:09,911 --> 01:03:12,027
how has he predicted my every move?
1447
01:03:12,122 --> 01:03:13,766
Mycroft: The killer
did not predict your actions.
1448
01:03:13,790 --> 01:03:15,951
Our murderer is a student of yours,
1449
01:03:16,042 --> 01:03:17,498
someone in your proximity.
1450
01:03:17,585 --> 01:03:19,792
Someone who could observe
you undetected.
1451
01:03:19,879 --> 01:03:22,336
Someone who knows you
better than anyone.
1452
01:03:22,424 --> 01:03:23,880
Watson: His mind radiates wisdom.
1453
01:03:23,967 --> 01:03:25,673
Sherlock Holmes has done it again!
1454
01:03:29,264 --> 01:03:30,674
I am dying from anticipation.
1455
01:03:30,765 --> 01:03:32,159
What did your brother tell you, Holmes?
1456
01:03:32,183 --> 01:03:34,014
I believe I've cracked the case.
1457
01:03:34,185 --> 01:03:36,892
It was in front of me
the whole time, my dear Watson.
1458
01:03:36,980 --> 01:03:38,095
Oh, do share.
1459
01:03:38,315 --> 01:03:39,976
(Sighs) And ruin the suspense?
1460
01:03:40,275 --> 01:03:42,857
I just thought, since I worked
the case with you...
1461
01:03:42,944 --> 01:03:44,184
- And we're here.
- (Sighs)
1462
01:03:47,115 --> 01:03:48,230
Holmes: Now,
1463
01:03:48,408 --> 01:03:51,616
you're all wondering
why I gathered you here today.
1464
01:03:52,245 --> 01:03:55,282
Prepare yourself to be astonished.
1465
01:03:55,623 --> 01:03:56,954
The killer could only be a man
1466
01:03:57,042 --> 01:03:59,078
who knew my actions at every turn.
1467
01:03:59,627 --> 01:04:02,243
Who was present at every murder?
1468
01:04:02,339 --> 01:04:03,339
Hmm?
1469
01:04:03,715 --> 01:04:05,922
Who knows me better than anyone?
1470
01:04:06,384 --> 01:04:09,296
It was you who arranged
my birthday party
1471
01:04:09,387 --> 01:04:12,049
and the cake which contained
the first victim,
1472
01:04:12,265 --> 01:04:15,598
initiating the events
leading us to today.
1473
01:04:16,061 --> 01:04:18,894
Dr. Watson is the killer.
1474
01:04:19,564 --> 01:04:21,896
(Others gasping and murmuring)
1475
01:04:21,983 --> 01:04:23,223
Holmes: By studying my methods,
1476
01:04:23,318 --> 01:04:26,481
you created a fake crime
only you could solve.
1477
01:04:26,571 --> 01:04:28,983
Why? I was to be so impressed
1478
01:04:29,199 --> 01:04:31,906
that I would crown him co-detective.
1479
01:04:32,035 --> 01:04:34,401
He wanted to rewrite history
1480
01:04:34,704 --> 01:04:36,490
by becoming my partner.
1481
01:04:38,833 --> 01:04:40,198
(Chuckles)
1482
01:04:40,293 --> 01:04:43,535
Okay. Now the part about
how I could never have done it
1483
01:04:43,630 --> 01:04:45,586
and on to the surprising real killer.
1484
01:04:45,673 --> 01:04:47,209
I wonder who it's going to be.
1485
01:04:47,300 --> 01:04:49,461
When one eliminates the impossible,
1486
01:04:49,552 --> 01:04:52,385
whatever remains, however improbable,
1487
01:04:52,472 --> 01:04:53,712
is the truth.
1488
01:04:54,808 --> 01:04:56,719
But this is absurd.
1489
01:04:57,477 --> 01:04:58,996
Holmes, you must know in your heart...
1490
01:04:59,020 --> 01:05:00,976
The heart is for pumping blood.
1491
01:05:01,064 --> 01:05:03,601
The truth is the truth!
1492
01:05:04,025 --> 01:05:05,025
Truth
1493
01:05:05,860 --> 01:05:09,023
is that I have devoted my life to you.
1494
01:05:09,864 --> 01:05:11,195
And I was a fool to think
1495
01:05:11,282 --> 01:05:13,238
you would ever consider me
as a co-detective
1496
01:05:13,326 --> 01:05:16,489
when you're incapable of thinking of me
even as a friend!
1497
01:05:16,830 --> 01:05:18,616
(Stammering)
1498
01:05:18,706 --> 01:05:20,321
Inspector lestrade, take him.
1499
01:05:20,917 --> 01:05:21,952
(Go on.
1500
01:05:22,043 --> 01:05:23,533
The man is your closest friend.
1501
01:05:23,628 --> 01:05:25,619
Your pursuit of moriarty has failed.
1502
01:05:25,713 --> 01:05:27,328
You have no suspects.
1503
01:05:27,590 --> 01:05:30,127
The killer still threatens
to kill the queen.
1504
01:05:30,218 --> 01:05:32,300
Is that a chance you're willing to take?
1505
01:05:33,054 --> 01:05:34,715
Take him. “What?
1506
01:05:35,223 --> 01:05:38,181
(Grunting)
1507
01:05:38,268 --> 01:05:40,304
Do you see his propensity for violence?
1508
01:05:40,395 --> 01:05:42,115
- Do you still doubt me?
Officer: Calm down.
1509
01:05:42,897 --> 01:05:47,641
I shall never again
carry your blasted magnifying glasses
1510
01:05:48,653 --> 01:05:50,769
or your jars of urine.
1511
01:05:51,114 --> 01:05:52,650
Why are we even saving these?
1512
01:05:53,491 --> 01:05:57,484
- And you look stupid in that hat.
- (Gasps)
1513
01:05:57,579 --> 01:06:00,662
Your head was not meant for hats.
1514
01:06:01,291 --> 01:06:02,701
(Grunting)
1515
01:06:02,792 --> 01:06:04,999
Unhand me! No!
1516
01:06:05,086 --> 01:06:06,576
I'll never forget you, John.
1517
01:06:06,671 --> 01:06:08,912
(Yelling, sobbing)
1518
01:06:09,007 --> 01:06:10,292
Why?
1519
01:06:10,383 --> 01:06:14,467
John Watson devoted his life to you,
and this is how you repay him?
1520
01:06:14,679 --> 01:06:18,388
Back to America with
your ham-dogs and hot-burgers.
1521
01:06:18,475 --> 01:06:20,636
Grace: At least, in America,
our system's fair.
1522
01:06:21,227 --> 01:06:23,468
No citizen can be found guilty
1523
01:06:23,563 --> 01:06:27,101
till his case is heard by a jury
of white property-owning men.
1524
01:06:28,776 --> 01:06:31,358
Millie, surely, you must understand.
1525
01:06:37,035 --> 01:06:38,525
(Gasps)
1526
01:06:40,497 --> 01:06:42,078
Fine, go!
1527
01:06:42,248 --> 01:06:44,955
I'm the greatest detective
who ever lived.
1528
01:06:45,251 --> 01:06:47,458
You're welcome for solving this case.
1529
01:06:47,670 --> 01:06:47,954
Sherlock abandons Watson!
1530
01:06:47,962 --> 01:06:49,918
Sherlock abandons Watson!
1531
01:07:01,309 --> 01:07:03,891
Holmes: Well,
you've done it again, Sherlock.
1532
01:07:04,187 --> 01:07:05,222
(Sighs)
1533
01:07:05,313 --> 01:07:06,803
Justice has been served.
1534
01:07:07,190 --> 01:07:09,852
And to think it was underneath
your nose the whole time.
1535
01:07:10,527 --> 01:07:12,188
Watson. (Scoffs)
1536
01:07:12,278 --> 01:07:13,688
Of course it was Watson.
1537
01:07:14,155 --> 01:07:16,942
(Sighs) It'll be nice to have the place
to myself again.
1538
01:07:17,492 --> 01:07:21,701
Don't have to deal
with his stupid medical stuff
1539
01:07:22,622 --> 01:07:26,456
or the constant badgering
about being a co-detective.
1540
01:07:28,044 --> 01:07:31,536
Oh, and the incessant writing
in his blasted journal.
1541
01:07:33,007 --> 01:07:35,248
"With each passing day on the case,
1542
01:07:35,343 --> 01:07:38,460
"my admiration for Sherlock
grows and grows.
1543
01:07:39,847 --> 01:07:41,087
(Scoffs)
1544
01:07:42,684 --> 01:07:45,175
"I daresay he's more
than a great detective.
1545
01:07:46,312 --> 01:07:47,597
"He's a great man.
1546
01:07:49,148 --> 01:07:50,854
"A treasure for all of London.
1547
01:07:52,443 --> 01:07:53,979
"And I shall always
1548
01:07:55,488 --> 01:07:57,399
"consider him my best friend."
1549
01:07:59,492 --> 01:08:00,948
(Sniffles)
1550
01:08:01,786 --> 01:08:02,866
(Gasps)
1551
01:08:06,457 --> 01:08:09,164
(Gasps softly)
1552
01:08:12,338 --> 01:08:13,578
(Gasps)
1553
01:08:15,633 --> 01:08:16,873
A tear?
1554
01:08:16,968 --> 01:08:18,333
(Heartbeat thumping)
1555
01:08:18,428 --> 01:08:19,918
What is this tear?
1556
01:08:22,307 --> 01:08:24,764
(Straining)
1557
01:08:26,311 --> 01:08:27,346
(Gasps)
1558
01:08:28,187 --> 01:08:29,222
(Whimpers)
1559
01:08:29,314 --> 01:08:30,770
I can't stop it.
1560
01:08:31,941 --> 01:08:33,681
(Gasping)
1561
01:08:36,571 --> 01:08:39,187
What is this warm feeling in my chest?
1562
01:08:45,538 --> 01:08:48,701
(Singing) Why am I reeling in confusion?
1563
01:08:50,001 --> 01:08:52,868
What is this fever in my head?
1564
01:08:53,671 --> 01:08:55,036
Is it pox?
1565
01:08:55,173 --> 01:08:56,413
Maybe gout
1566
01:08:56,633 --> 01:08:59,124
I can't seem to work it out
1567
01:08:59,636 --> 01:09:01,672
and why
1568
01:09:01,971 --> 01:09:04,883
don't I feel triumphant?
1569
01:09:05,850 --> 01:09:08,592
And why does it seem less than right
1570
01:09:08,686 --> 01:09:11,598
that Watson's going to hang tonight
1571
01:09:11,689 --> 01:09:16,308
and gasp and thrash
and choke until he's dead?
1572
01:09:16,819 --> 01:09:20,437
What is this strange sensation
1573
01:09:20,531 --> 01:09:23,273
pounding in my veins?
1574
01:09:23,451 --> 01:09:27,990
Why is fluid leaking from my eye?
1575
01:09:28,373 --> 01:09:31,331
Why do I ache with shame
1576
01:09:31,417 --> 01:09:34,580
while moaning Watson's name?
1577
01:09:34,879 --> 01:09:39,373
Wish I could deduce the reason why
1578
01:09:39,467 --> 01:09:41,833
how could I possibly deserve this?
1579
01:09:42,345 --> 01:09:44,711
How, when I've been his loyal friend?
1580
01:09:44,806 --> 01:09:46,171
Helped him work, took his side
1581
01:09:46,265 --> 01:09:47,846
sung his praises far and wide
1582
01:09:47,934 --> 01:09:53,099
so why would he just betray me?
1583
01:09:53,439 --> 01:09:56,522
Now all those happy times with him
1584
01:09:56,609 --> 01:09:59,442
when I would go solve crimes with him
1585
01:09:59,529 --> 01:10:02,487
are coming to a sad and lonely
1586
01:10:02,573 --> 01:10:05,360
eyeball-popping, strangulating
1587
01:10:05,451 --> 01:10:08,864
kicking, screaming end
1588
01:10:08,955 --> 01:10:12,573
what is this strange sensation?
1589
01:10:12,667 --> 01:10:15,283
Where did I go wrong?
1590
01:10:15,378 --> 01:10:18,495
Why am I a sobbing, trembling mess?
1591
01:10:18,589 --> 01:10:20,750
Soon my neck will snap in half
1592
01:10:20,842 --> 01:10:23,504
- I guess
- And yet I know somehow
1593
01:10:23,594 --> 01:10:27,052
- and yet right now
- If he could hear right now
1594
01:10:27,140 --> 01:10:29,506
I would still forgive him
1595
01:10:32,186 --> 01:10:35,053
more or less
1596
01:10:35,815 --> 01:10:38,602
please, I don't know
upon whom else to call
1597
01:10:38,693 --> 01:10:41,480
nothing is making any sense at all
1598
01:10:41,571 --> 01:10:45,029
speak! I need your voice
to hear your voice
1599
01:10:45,116 --> 01:10:48,233
so sweet, so pure, so wise
1600
01:10:52,373 --> 01:10:56,036
sometimes the irrational
1601
01:10:56,127 --> 01:10:59,619
is truer than the rational
1602
01:10:59,714 --> 01:11:02,922
the heart can have its reasons
1603
01:11:03,009 --> 01:11:06,843
which the head knows nothing of
1604
01:11:07,305 --> 01:11:10,217
your brain says Watson's guilty
1605
01:11:10,308 --> 01:11:14,392
but a stronger force says
“no, he's not"
1606
01:11:14,479 --> 01:11:16,185
what is that force?
1607
01:11:16,272 --> 01:11:18,183
It's... it's... yes? What?
1608
01:11:18,274 --> 01:11:21,641
- It's love...
- [ Ove?
1609
01:11:21,861 --> 01:11:25,649
It's love - it's jove
1610
01:11:25,740 --> 01:11:27,776
it's love - it's jove
1611
01:11:27,867 --> 01:11:30,233
it's love - it's jove
1612
01:11:30,745 --> 01:11:31,860
my god.
1613
01:11:32,246 --> 01:11:33,782
Did I push Watson away
1614
01:11:33,873 --> 01:11:36,205
because I feared losing him to grace?
1615
01:11:36,709 --> 01:11:38,825
Somehow, I know in my heart
1616
01:11:38,920 --> 01:11:41,332
in a way my brain can never know,
1617
01:11:41,631 --> 01:11:43,462
even a brain like mine,
1618
01:11:46,052 --> 01:11:47,667
Watson is innocent!
1619
01:11:48,179 --> 01:11:52,047
- Time to go and save
- Come save me how
1620
01:11:52,141 --> 01:11:58,762
- the man I love
- The man I love
1621
01:12:01,192 --> 01:12:02,192
Holmes: Watson!
1622
01:12:02,276 --> 01:12:05,689
I discovered my emotions,
and I'm only 46.
1623
01:12:05,905 --> 01:12:06,564
Crowd: (Chanting) Hang! Hang! Hang!
1624
01:12:06,572 --> 01:12:07,982
Crowd: (Chanting) Hang! Hang! Hang!
1625
01:12:08,407 --> 01:12:09,647
(Barking, growling)
1626
01:12:09,742 --> 01:12:11,073
(All cheering)
1627
01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:12,275
(Man laughs wickedly)
1628
01:12:12,370 --> 01:12:13,576
Oh, god.
1629
01:12:14,413 --> 01:12:16,413
Crowd: (Chanting)
Hang Dr. Watson! Hang Dr. Watson!
1630
01:12:16,707 --> 01:12:18,538
Watson:
The dogs seem really unnecessary.
1631
01:12:19,252 --> 01:12:20,252
Sherlock.
1632
01:12:21,796 --> 01:12:22,876
On.
1633
01:12:23,172 --> 01:12:24,287
It's you. (Chuckles)
1634
01:12:25,424 --> 01:12:26,834
You've brought cake.
1635
01:12:34,267 --> 01:12:36,428
Watson! My brother!
1636
01:12:36,519 --> 01:12:38,134
Watson, where are you?
1637
01:12:38,479 --> 01:12:39,639
Where...
1638
01:12:39,772 --> 01:12:41,012
I'm too late.
1639
01:12:47,780 --> 01:12:51,147
Very, very clever.
1640
01:12:57,290 --> 01:12:59,030
You were always so clever,
1641
01:12:59,834 --> 01:13:01,324
and I never appreciated it.
1642
01:13:03,004 --> 01:13:05,086
But it's not too late to make amends.
1643
01:13:05,172 --> 01:13:06,378
Watson!
1644
01:13:06,465 --> 01:13:08,831
I shouldn't have wasted
all my time singing!
1645
01:13:14,390 --> 01:13:15,800
Ah! Grimy news kids.
1646
01:13:16,058 --> 01:13:17,639
I desperately need your help.
1647
01:13:17,894 --> 01:13:19,634
Dr. Watson's in grave danger.
1648
01:13:19,729 --> 01:13:21,219
Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
1649
01:13:21,314 --> 01:13:22,770
Because of you, you wank!
1650
01:13:22,857 --> 01:13:23,937
I know.
1651
01:13:24,066 --> 01:13:25,681
But I know of a way to save him.
1652
01:13:25,860 --> 01:13:27,896
Please, please help me.
1653
01:13:28,154 --> 01:13:30,691
I must find a way
to the docks immediately.
1654
01:13:34,410 --> 01:13:37,994
Watson: "Moriarty's daughter
did the one thing moriarty never could.
1655
01:13:38,080 --> 01:13:41,743
"She defeated Sherlock Holmes
and assassinated the queen.
1656
01:13:42,752 --> 01:13:45,289
"Sherlock Holmes,
the man whom I regarded
1657
01:13:45,379 --> 01:13:49,122
"as the best and the wisest man
whom I would ever know
1658
01:13:50,468 --> 01:13:53,005
"was a fraud."
1659
01:13:55,306 --> 01:13:56,591
(Sighs)
1660
01:13:56,682 --> 01:13:57,922
It is done. (Sighs)
1661
01:13:58,351 --> 01:14:01,093
A devilish plan worthy of your father.
1662
01:14:01,437 --> 01:14:05,396
The last book in the Sherlock Holmes
canon is complete,
1663
01:14:06,233 --> 01:14:08,849
the case of the defeated detective.
1664
01:14:09,278 --> 01:14:11,690
Daddy will be so proud.
1665
01:14:12,490 --> 01:14:13,980
Sherlock will be remembered
1666
01:14:14,075 --> 01:14:16,862
as the man who failed
to protect the queen.
1667
01:14:17,078 --> 01:14:18,739
History shall be rewritten
1668
01:14:18,829 --> 01:14:22,447
at the hand of his loyal partner,
Dr. Watson.
1669
01:14:23,250 --> 01:14:24,740
I've done your bidding.
1670
01:14:25,211 --> 01:14:26,621
Now set me free.
1671
01:14:27,505 --> 01:14:29,291
You're gonna die here.
1672
01:14:29,966 --> 01:14:31,422
You gave me your word.
1673
01:14:31,509 --> 01:14:32,919
You swore on the life of the queen.
1674
01:14:33,010 --> 01:14:36,468
I'm gonna kill the queen,
you big eejit. Boys!
1675
01:14:36,847 --> 01:14:38,607
- Girl: Mrs. Hudson is the killer?
- Mmm-hmm.
1676
01:14:38,808 --> 01:14:39,923
Gorblimey!
1677
01:14:40,017 --> 01:14:41,382
How'd you work that out?
1678
01:14:41,477 --> 01:14:43,433
Why, it was Watson who told me.
1679
01:14:43,771 --> 01:14:45,978
You see, beet sugar.
1680
01:14:46,315 --> 01:14:49,057
Mrs. Hudson's family recipe
ahd Watson's favorite.
1681
01:14:49,151 --> 01:14:50,687
He never would have left crumbs behind
1682
01:14:50,778 --> 01:14:52,234
unless he was leaving me a clue.
1683
01:14:52,613 --> 01:14:55,696
For, you see, Mrs. Hudson's
origins are not so humble.
1684
01:14:56,075 --> 01:14:59,738
She is none other than the daughter
of professor James moriarty.
1685
01:14:59,829 --> 01:15:01,285
Boy: No, it ain't possible.
1686
01:15:01,372 --> 01:15:04,330
You see, Mrs. Hudson
never knew her father.
1687
01:15:04,625 --> 01:15:05,990
He was never present.
1688
01:15:06,210 --> 01:15:09,748
To gain his love, she tried to pull off
the greatest crime ever.
1689
01:15:09,922 --> 01:15:12,538
Destroy the great Sherlock Holmes.
1690
01:15:12,925 --> 01:15:16,258
She took a job at my house
in order to study my methods,
1691
01:15:16,345 --> 01:15:19,462
then used a network of patsies
fo execute her plans.
1692
01:15:19,682 --> 01:15:22,515
However, it wasn't until
I understood feelings
1693
01:15:22,601 --> 01:15:24,307
that I understood her motive,
1694
01:15:24,603 --> 01:15:26,810
her heed for her father's love.
1695
01:15:27,398 --> 01:15:30,310
She would gain it
by eliminating his greatest enemy,
1696
01:15:30,568 --> 01:15:31,683
me.
1697
01:15:31,861 --> 01:15:35,854
And tonight, she will commit
her boldest crime yet,
1698
01:15:36,323 --> 01:15:39,190
killing the queen here!
1699
01:15:39,869 --> 01:15:41,279
The Titanic.
1700
01:15:41,704 --> 01:15:43,194
The marvel of London.
1701
01:15:43,706 --> 01:15:46,539
A new castle, which runs on coal.
1702
01:15:47,710 --> 01:15:50,292
Man: Your majesty, may I introduce
lieutenant Morgan.
1703
01:15:50,379 --> 01:15:51,459
Queen Victoria: Lieutenant.
1704
01:15:52,131 --> 01:15:53,837
Man: First officer Carter.
1705
01:15:54,508 --> 01:15:56,499
- Your majesty.
- First officer.
1706
01:15:57,053 --> 01:15:59,044
Holmes: Look, Hudson's goons.
1707
01:15:59,638 --> 01:16:02,596
- Create a diversion.
- You go and save Dr. Watson, Mr. Holmes.
1708
01:16:02,850 --> 01:16:04,010
We'll take care of this lot.
1709
01:16:04,101 --> 01:16:05,716
Come on, you Tom fit!
1710
01:16:05,811 --> 01:16:07,802
You ain't bigger
than a couple of powder monkeys.
1711
01:16:07,897 --> 01:16:08,897
(Door opens)
1712
01:16:09,398 --> 01:16:11,059
Is there a problem, boys?
1713
01:16:11,192 --> 01:16:13,478
(Chuckles) Think we can take them,
lads. Aye?
1714
01:16:13,819 --> 01:16:15,901
Walk away now,
and I promise you won't get hurt.
1715
01:16:15,988 --> 01:16:18,525
A bunch of runts and a couple of ladies?
1716
01:16:18,616 --> 01:16:20,026
American ladies.
1717
01:16:20,701 --> 01:16:22,783
(Horse neighing)
(Children shouting)
1718
01:16:24,997 --> 01:16:26,237
Man: Not my eyes!
1719
01:16:31,128 --> 01:16:33,710
Mrs. Hudson:
I'm sorry to do this, Dr. Watson.
1720
01:16:33,798 --> 01:16:36,414
I'm gonna crush your head.
1721
01:16:36,509 --> 01:16:39,342
There's gonna be brains everywhere.
1722
01:16:39,428 --> 01:16:41,919
And I'll not be cleaning up after.
1723
01:16:42,014 --> 01:16:43,174
I know you're threatening me,
1724
01:16:43,224 --> 01:16:45,135
but I can't understand
a word you're saying.
1725
01:16:45,935 --> 01:16:48,347
You're staying, Dr. Watson,
1726
01:16:48,437 --> 01:16:51,929
but I'll be on my way to America
by the time the bomb explodes.
1727
01:16:52,233 --> 01:16:53,598
Sherlock will save me.
1728
01:16:53,692 --> 01:16:55,273
- You'll see.
- I'll see.
1729
01:16:55,611 --> 01:16:57,067
He won't let me down.
1730
01:16:57,446 --> 01:16:59,653
He won't. He's my best friend!
1731
01:16:59,740 --> 01:17:01,105
(Sobs mockingly)
1732
01:17:01,200 --> 01:17:02,406
Dollface!
1733
01:17:02,993 --> 01:17:04,199
(Whirring)
1734
01:17:04,537 --> 01:17:06,823
(Screaming)
1735
01:17:07,206 --> 01:17:08,286
Mrs. Hudson: Come on, boys.
1736
01:17:08,332 --> 01:17:11,074
- The bomb goes off in 10 minutes.
- Sherlock!
1737
01:17:11,752 --> 01:17:13,743
Sherlock!
1738
01:17:14,463 --> 01:17:16,545
Help! Help!
1739
01:17:16,632 --> 01:17:18,293
Sherlock!
1740
01:17:18,926 --> 01:17:20,257
Help!
1741
01:17:20,427 --> 01:17:21,462
(Shouts)
1742
01:17:21,720 --> 01:17:22,800
Watson!
1743
01:17:23,472 --> 01:17:24,803
(Panting)
1744
01:17:25,224 --> 01:17:29,058
Oh, god, if you save me,
I'll never touch myself again.
1745
01:17:29,145 --> 01:17:31,352
- Watson!
- Oh, Sherlock.
1746
01:17:31,564 --> 01:17:33,270
You've come for me. I knew you would.
1747
01:17:33,357 --> 01:17:35,473
Watson, good news.
1748
01:17:35,651 --> 01:17:36,936
You're innocent.
1749
01:17:37,862 --> 01:17:39,602
Yes. I know.
1750
01:17:39,697 --> 01:17:41,233
- Oh.
- Thank you.
1751
01:17:41,907 --> 01:17:43,738
- Can you forgive me?
- Of course.
1752
01:17:43,826 --> 01:17:46,317
Now, be a good chap,
and get me out of this damn thing
1753
01:17:46,412 --> 01:17:47,948
before it crushes my skull.
1754
01:17:48,247 --> 01:17:49,783
Yes? There's a good chap. Go on.
1755
01:17:49,874 --> 01:17:52,365
(Grunts) I won't leave you. Not again.
1756
01:17:52,459 --> 01:17:54,745
That's a lovely sentiment,
but I really need you
1757
01:17:54,837 --> 01:17:56,498
to free me from this gear right now.
1758
01:17:56,881 --> 01:17:58,997
Emotions are spewing from my heart.
1759
01:17:59,466 --> 01:18:01,146
- Pull yourself together.
- (Sobbing) Okay.
1760
01:18:01,177 --> 01:18:02,257
Stop crying.
1761
01:18:02,344 --> 01:18:04,784
Because we must get the queen
and everyone else off this ship.
1762
01:18:04,847 --> 01:18:06,633
You see, Hudson has planted a bomb.
1763
01:18:06,724 --> 01:18:08,510
A time bomb, you see?
1764
01:18:08,601 --> 01:18:10,637
- You must free me.
- Do you feel my heart ticking?
1765
01:18:10,728 --> 01:18:12,328
- Get me off this fucking wheel!
- (Sobs)
1766
01:18:12,730 --> 01:18:15,346
All my dreams are coming true.
1767
01:18:15,441 --> 01:18:19,559
In just two minutes, my bomb
will go off, killing the queen.
1768
01:18:19,820 --> 01:18:21,981
Sherlock Holmes will go down in history
1769
01:18:22,072 --> 01:18:25,485
as the worst detective
the world has ever known.
1770
01:18:25,576 --> 01:18:28,989
And the name moriarty
will live on forever!
1771
01:18:29,079 --> 01:18:30,444
(Foghorn blows)
1772
01:18:31,081 --> 01:18:32,287
Father,
1773
01:18:32,833 --> 01:18:35,119
soon, we shall be together again.
1774
01:18:35,586 --> 01:18:37,952
In americal - men: Yeah!
1775
01:18:38,923 --> 01:18:40,709
(Music playing)
1776
01:18:45,512 --> 01:18:48,128
The bomb will detonate in one minute.
1777
01:18:48,265 --> 01:18:49,971
Where could it possibly be?
1778
01:18:51,393 --> 01:18:52,553
Watson: Wait.
1779
01:18:52,811 --> 01:18:54,517
That kettle drum.
1780
01:18:54,730 --> 01:18:57,767
Those are only ever used
in mounted cavalry formations,
1781
01:18:57,858 --> 01:18:59,314
never in a marine band.
1782
01:18:59,944 --> 01:19:01,059
- Perhaps...
- (Gasps)
1783
01:19:01,153 --> 01:19:03,815
The bomb is in the drum.
Very good, Watson.
1784
01:19:03,906 --> 01:19:05,612
But the queen is standing
just beside it.
1785
01:19:05,699 --> 01:19:07,064
She'll be blown to smithereens.
1786
01:19:07,159 --> 01:19:08,990
But how to defuse it in time?
1787
01:19:10,371 --> 01:19:13,955
Holmes: Time remaining
until bomb detonation, 55 seconds.
1788
01:19:14,166 --> 01:19:17,624
Estimated blast radius from bomb,
17 feet.
1789
01:19:17,711 --> 01:19:20,794
Time required to move queen
to safety, 12 seconds.
1790
01:19:20,881 --> 01:19:22,712
Solution, move through crowd,
1791
01:19:22,800 --> 01:19:25,917
see Millie for the first time,
forget about bomb...
1792
01:19:26,011 --> 01:19:27,091
No.
1793
01:19:31,100 --> 01:19:32,965
Time remaining, 37 seconds.
1794
01:19:33,060 --> 01:19:35,517
Solution, shoot water main
to douse bomb,
1795
01:19:35,604 --> 01:19:37,515
remember Millie at the park,
forget about bomb.
1796
01:19:37,606 --> 01:19:38,846
No, I forgot about the bomb!
1797
01:19:43,195 --> 01:19:45,777
Watson, what are you doing in my brain?
1798
01:19:45,864 --> 01:19:47,149
Watson: I'm doing it.
1799
01:19:47,241 --> 01:19:49,823
I'm communicating without words.
1800
01:19:49,910 --> 01:19:52,492
I can't focus.
I was trying to formulate a plan,
1801
01:19:52,579 --> 01:19:54,490
and I kept getting off track.
1802
01:19:54,581 --> 01:19:57,118
Holmes, no, you don't. Snap out of it.
1803
01:19:57,209 --> 01:19:58,824
I can't. I'm too emotional.
1804
01:19:58,919 --> 01:20:01,456
Look behind me.
The queen's being blown to bits.
1805
01:20:01,630 --> 01:20:03,166
You have to take control.
1806
01:20:03,340 --> 01:20:05,376
You must be detective for both of us.
1807
01:20:05,551 --> 01:20:06,666
Right.
1808
01:20:08,220 --> 01:20:09,585
Watson: I know what I must do.
1809
01:20:09,763 --> 01:20:11,424
Estimated blast radius,
1810
01:20:11,765 --> 01:20:13,551
20... no, 30 feet?
1811
01:20:13,642 --> 01:20:14,762
Account for ship's movement.
1812
01:20:14,810 --> 01:20:16,675
Wait. Is that a four or a seven?
1813
01:20:16,770 --> 01:20:18,556
Math is so hard. Hold on.
1814
01:20:18,647 --> 01:20:20,512
What does that "x" mean?
Or is that a plus?
1815
01:20:20,607 --> 01:20:22,313
What is that thing? Angle of approach?
1816
01:20:22,401 --> 01:20:25,088
Oh, I don't know how to do angles.
Should have listened more in school.
1817
01:20:25,112 --> 01:20:26,693
Oh, screw it. Charge!
1818
01:20:26,822 --> 01:20:27,937
(Yelling)
1819
01:20:28,615 --> 01:20:29,855
Out of my way!
1820
01:20:30,034 --> 01:20:31,194
- Move!
- (Women screaming)
1821
01:20:31,702 --> 01:20:34,159
- (Ticking)
- Nine, eight...
1822
01:20:34,371 --> 01:20:35,531
Coming through! (Grunts)
1823
01:20:35,873 --> 01:20:37,613
- So sorry!
- Seven...
1824
01:20:38,667 --> 01:20:39,827
Come on.
1825
01:20:39,960 --> 01:20:41,370
- Move your tuchis!
- (Woman gasps)
1826
01:20:41,503 --> 01:20:42,783
- Sorry, friend!
- (Man groaning)
1827
01:20:44,506 --> 01:20:45,586
Mrs. Hudson: Five,
1828
01:20:46,425 --> 01:20:47,505
four...
1829
01:20:47,593 --> 01:20:48,833
(People gasping)
1830
01:20:50,471 --> 01:20:51,677
Two...
1831
01:20:53,182 --> 01:20:54,718
(Ticking)
1832
01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:57,675
Aw, shit!
1833
01:20:59,605 --> 01:21:01,596
(Crowd gasping, murmuring)
1834
01:21:03,525 --> 01:21:04,685
Man: Huzzah.
1835
01:21:04,902 --> 01:21:06,893
Huzzah for Sherlock Holmes.
1836
01:21:06,987 --> 01:21:09,603
- Sherlock Holmes saved the Titanic.
- (Applause)
1837
01:21:10,532 --> 01:21:12,693
Crowd: Huzzah!
Woman: Hurrah for Sherlock!
1838
01:21:12,785 --> 01:21:13,785
Man 1: Bravo, Sherlock!
1839
01:21:13,869 --> 01:21:15,951
Man 2: Sherlock Holmes was right
about everything!
1840
01:21:16,038 --> 01:21:17,403
Crowd: Hip hip hooray!
1841
01:21:18,165 --> 01:21:20,030
Thank you. Thank you.
1842
01:21:21,085 --> 01:21:23,872
But I could never have done it
without Dr. Watson.
1843
01:21:23,962 --> 01:21:28,251
- Oh, no.
- I et Watson's name be forever associated
1844
01:21:28,342 --> 01:21:29,582
with the Titanic.
1845
01:21:30,010 --> 01:21:34,504
So, when you think of your friends
and relatives on board the Titanic,
1846
01:21:34,598 --> 01:21:36,134
just remember,
1847
01:21:36,225 --> 01:21:40,764
Dr. John h. Watson put them there.
1848
01:21:40,896 --> 01:21:42,874
- (Cheering and applause)
- Man: Hooray for Watson!
1849
01:21:42,898 --> 01:21:44,388
Bloody good we didn't hang him.
1850
01:21:46,235 --> 01:21:47,771
Queen Victoria: Dr. Watson,
1851
01:21:48,529 --> 01:21:49,860
you saved us.
1852
01:21:50,322 --> 01:21:51,402
Thank you.
1853
01:21:52,032 --> 01:21:54,398
It has been my pleasure
to serve you, your majesty.
1854
01:21:56,412 --> 01:21:59,199
(Applause)
1855
01:22:03,627 --> 01:22:05,242
(Kisses, blows)
1856
01:22:08,590 --> 01:22:09,705
(Blows)
1857
01:22:09,800 --> 01:22:10,835
(Gun clicks)
1858
01:22:11,009 --> 01:22:12,294
No, Millie.
1859
01:22:22,980 --> 01:22:24,470
I have a confession to make.
1860
01:22:25,107 --> 01:22:27,348
I'm not actually in love with you.
1861
01:22:27,776 --> 01:22:29,937
In order to conclude my investigation,
1862
01:22:30,028 --> 01:22:33,145
it was imperative that
I understood what love felt like.
1863
01:22:33,615 --> 01:22:35,071
I'm sorry to have led you on.
1864
01:22:36,201 --> 01:22:37,691
I have a confession as well.
1865
01:22:37,911 --> 01:22:39,401
I was also not in love.
1866
01:22:39,538 --> 01:22:40,994
I was conducting an experiment
1867
01:22:41,081 --> 01:22:43,163
on how easy it is
to manipulate the male ego.
1868
01:22:44,001 --> 01:22:46,538
- What?
- I'm sorry I led you on.
1869
01:22:47,212 --> 01:22:49,544
Well, I have another confession.
1870
01:22:49,631 --> 01:22:52,213
- Hmm.
- I was just pretending to have a big ego
1871
01:22:52,301 --> 01:22:55,008
so as to make you think that
your experiment was working
1872
01:22:55,095 --> 01:22:57,177
so that I could conclude
my experiment on you.
1873
01:22:57,264 --> 01:22:58,754
Well, I had to lead you on
1874
01:22:58,849 --> 01:23:01,556
because I was doing an experiment
about how men think
1875
01:23:01,643 --> 01:23:03,621
they can manipulate female scientists
while they're doing experiments.
1876
01:23:03,645 --> 01:23:05,476
Well, I have another confession to make.
1877
01:23:06,565 --> 01:23:07,565
(Holmes grunts)
1878
01:23:09,985 --> 01:23:11,270
(Both moan awkwardly)
1879
01:23:11,361 --> 01:23:12,646
(Panting)
1880
01:23:12,738 --> 01:23:13,978
(Exhales sharply)
1881
01:23:14,239 --> 01:23:15,354
(Sighs)
1882
01:23:17,117 --> 01:23:20,200
You will be shocked to learn
that was my first kiss.
1883
01:23:20,913 --> 01:23:23,370
Mine as well,
and we've already mastered it.
1884
01:23:23,457 --> 01:23:24,697
- (Whistle blows)
- Yes, indeed.
1885
01:23:24,833 --> 01:23:26,494
All aboard!
1886
01:23:26,668 --> 01:23:29,205
She sails in 20 minutes!
1887
01:23:29,296 --> 01:23:31,161
Man: Hurry, everyone! Step lively!
1888
01:23:31,256 --> 01:23:33,838
Holmes: Enjoy your trip
on the safest ship to sail.
1889
01:23:33,926 --> 01:23:35,086
Goodbye.
1890
01:23:35,344 --> 01:23:36,504
Farewell, grace.
1891
01:23:36,845 --> 01:23:37,845
Holmes: Goodbye, Millie.
1892
01:23:37,930 --> 01:23:40,296
Make sure you get plenty of bed rest.
1893
01:23:40,641 --> 01:23:42,256
There's a good chance you're pregnant.
1894
01:23:42,351 --> 01:23:43,351
I hope so.
1895
01:23:43,435 --> 01:23:45,050
From... from the kissing?
1896
01:23:46,605 --> 01:23:48,311
- Yes.
- Oh, yes.
1897
01:23:49,691 --> 01:23:51,306
What a grand ship.
1898
01:23:51,401 --> 01:23:52,401
Yes.
1899
01:23:52,486 --> 01:23:54,522
(Gasps) Watson, look.
1900
01:23:55,697 --> 01:23:56,982
It's Billy Zane.
1901
01:23:57,950 --> 01:23:59,030
Sherlock. (Laughs)
1902
01:24:00,702 --> 01:24:02,738
Holmes: Wow. He's breathtaking.
1903
01:24:03,830 --> 01:24:05,195
Where's the bar on this canoe?
1904
01:24:10,254 --> 01:24:11,539
- Holmes.
- Mmm.
1905
01:24:12,089 --> 01:24:14,330
I believe I may have solved
the one mystery
1906
01:24:14,424 --> 01:24:16,585
which has baffled you all these years.
1907
01:24:17,761 --> 01:24:18,921
What?
1908
01:24:20,347 --> 01:24:21,427
(Gasps)
1909
01:24:22,641 --> 01:24:23,756
Would you mind?
1910
01:24:26,061 --> 01:24:27,267
Ah.
1911
01:24:27,354 --> 01:24:28,469
Do you like it?
1912
01:24:28,605 --> 01:24:30,641
I et's see here. Huh?
1913
01:24:31,066 --> 01:24:32,647
- Oh, it suits you.
- Mmm.
1914
01:24:33,110 --> 01:24:35,317
- I think it's perfect.
- Really?
1915
01:24:35,612 --> 01:24:38,604
- You're not just saying that?
- No, I'm not just saying it.
1916
01:24:39,116 --> 01:24:40,777
- Good.
- Thank you, Watson.
1917
01:24:41,285 --> 01:24:43,071
And I have something for you as well.
1918
01:24:43,161 --> 01:24:45,527
- No. No.
- Please. Step over here.
1919
01:24:45,622 --> 01:24:48,204
Why? I don't deserve anything.
1920
01:24:49,876 --> 01:24:50,876
My dear Watson.
1921
01:24:51,795 --> 01:24:53,035
What do you think?
1922
01:24:53,589 --> 01:24:54,999
It's beautiful.
1923
01:25:11,523 --> 01:25:12,979
(Horses neighing)
1924
01:25:13,066 --> 01:25:15,398
(Music playing)
1925
01:25:16,403 --> 01:25:19,861
(Lively chatter and laughter)
1926
01:25:20,616 --> 01:25:21,856
(Knock on door)
1927
01:25:22,784 --> 01:25:25,275
Telegram for professor moriarty.
1928
01:25:27,748 --> 01:25:28,748
Professor?
1929
01:25:36,214 --> 01:25:37,954
Boy, who sent this?
129297
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