Original subtitles

Starring... as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring... as Sergeant Carter.

♪ ♪

All right, you knuckleheads.

Take a good look at it,

the order of the Lead Boot.

The battalion booby prize!

Awarded every six months

to the most fouled-up platoon in the outfit!

Now tomorrow, our six months are up,

and I want to get rid of that thing once and for all!

If we win it tomorrow,

we will be the first platoon in history

ever to win it three times in a row!

And since we were the first platoon in history

to win it twice in a row,

I'm the laughingstock of the NCO Club.

Now, some of you might ask... why us?

Are we being picked on?

I don't think so.

Why?

Because certain members of this platoon

have worked very hard to win this stupid boot.

How?

By performing acts of stupidness.

Now, this time, we have a chance to get rid of this boot

because Sergeant Hacker's platoon

has been running you a close second in foul-ups.

So if you can keep your noses clean until noon tomorrow,

this boot will wind up in his possession

for the next six months.

And for your sakes, it had better!

Okay.

Now, look sharp and hit them work details!

Platoon, ten-hut!

Dismissed! Move, move, move!

Pyle, hold it!

Since you are the one mainly responsible

for us having this thing in the first place,

I want you to shine it until you can see your face in it,

just to remind you that you're

the biggest knucklehead in the platoon!

Sergeant Carter,

am I really the only one responsible for this boot?

'Cause if I thought that,

there'd just be one thing left for me to do,

and that'd be to transfer out of the platoon.

Oh, would you?

Well, Sergeant... Pyle, knock it off!

Now, I want to get rid of this boot.

Now, take it next door and ask Corporal Slater for the metal polish.

And, for your sake, it better be the last time

you ever have to shine it.

How you doing?

Okay, I guess, except I'm having a little trouble holding the boot still.

But Sergeant Carter said he wanted me to be able to see my face in it.

Well, don't worry about it, Gomer.

There's worse things in life than not being able

to see your face in a boot... Stay with it.

I'm gonna post this stuff on the bulletin board.

Hi, Sarge.

Where's Sergeant Carter? He's not here.

Do you know where he went, Gome?

Oh, he went over to Headquarters, Sergeant Hacker.

At least I think so.

Shining up the old Booby Boot, huh, pal?

Yeah, Sergeant Carter wanted it looking real nice

for battalion ceremonies tomorrow.

You guys have had it so long, I forgot what it looks like.

You're never gonna get rid of it, are you?

I don't know, Sarge, but I think maybe we got a chance.

Oh, yeah? What makes you think so?

Well, I don't mean to be disrespectful,

but Sergeant Carter said that your platoon

might be in the running.

Huh... I don't think so, Pyle.

Face it, you guys are about to set a new record

with three in a row, but why fight it?

You've earned it.

Shine, Pyle. You're not shining.

♪ Gomer Pyle. ♪

But you're not shining?

Don't worry about it, Gomer.

His chances of getting that boot

are just as good as ours.

All we have to do is stay on the ball for the next 24 hours.

Listen for the phone, will ya? I'll be right outside.

♪ ♪

What happened?

I figured it would be easier to shine if I slipped it on

like I was doing my own boot.

You're kidding.

No. It went on just fine,

but now I can't get it off.

Oh, brother.

Here. Sit down.

Let me pull it off you.

It's really on there.

What did you have to put it on for?

I told you, so I could shine it up good.

I wanted it to look real nice

for the next platoon that gets it.

How's the next platoon gonna get it if you're wearing it?

Oh, boy... you know who's gonna get blamed

for this don't you? Me.

Well, I don't see why.

Because I was here.

For Carter, that's enough.

Gosh...

I'm sorry.

What we gonna do?

The only thing we can do... Here, sit down.

Sit down.

Let me have a look at it.

Oh, good.

There's just a couple of wing nuts holding it on.

We'll take this board off,

go down to the metal shop, have the boot cut off your foot

and have them weld it back together again.

They can weld it back so nobody'll notice.

Well, I can't walk around with this thing on, Duke.

And besides, I'm supposed to be

on clean-up detail in five minutes.

Okay, okay, don't panic.

Let's figure this thing out scientifically.

You've gotta be on clean-up detail in five minutes.

Otherwise, Carter'll come looking for you, right?

I guess so.

Then it's very simple.

You gotta be there.

Hut, two, three, four. Hut, two, three, four.

To your left. To your left.

To your left, two, three, four.

Hut, two, three, four...

What time have you got?

1600, Sarge.

18 more hours.

Just 18 more hours without a foul-up

and Hacker's guys get stuck with the boot.

With a little luck, we might just make it.

Ah, sure we'll make it, Sarge.

Eight of those hours the guys'll be in the sack.

Don't bet on it.

Two of them still walk in their sleep.

Two, three, four. Hut, two, three, four.

Hut, two, three, four. Hut, two, three, four.

Hut, two, three, four...

Detail, halt!

Fall out.

What is that?!

Gomer, what are you doing here?

Well, I'm mopping the floor like Sergeant Carter said.

Oh, he's liable to walk in here any minute.

Finish up and get out of here.

You want him to see you with that thing on?

It ain't finished yet.

You're finished. Let's go. Come on.

All right, you people, knock off for chow.

It's Sergeant Carter.

Quick, hide the boot!

Slater, what happened to them supply requisitions

we sent over to the...?

Pyle...

Do you know you've got your foot in the bucket?

Well, so I have.

W... Well, will you look at that.

His, his foot's in the bucket.

He probably doesn't even know it.

The water must be the same temperature as the air.

Hold it, Slater!

Pyle, get your stupid foot out of that stupid bucket!

Yeah, take it outside and get out of it, Gomer.

You look silly in it.

Come on.

Hold it!

What's going on here?

Pyle, get your foot out of there.

The fact is, Sergeant, it's stuck in there.

Slater, grab that bucket and get that knucklehead outta there.

Right, Sergeant.

Now, Sarge, don't do it.

There's a perfectly logical explanation for all of this.

If-if you'll just allow me to...

Well, you see, what happened, Sergeant,

After you told me to shine it up real good,

I had the awfulest time holding it still, so I...

Shut up, Pyle.

Slater, did you know about this?

Well, we thought we'd wait till after duty hours

and go over to the metal shop and have it cut off.

Cut off?

You were gonna have it cut off?

We was gonna have it welded back together again.

And what about the seam?

What were you gonna cover the seam with?

You two knuckleheads were gonna ruin it,

and then I'd have to explain to the colonel how it got ruined.

There's no other way, Sarge. It's really stuck on there.

I'll show you how stuck it is!

Grab that boot.

All right, Slater, pull!

Is it coming, Gome?

I don't think so.

Knock it off, Slater. Pull!

It's no use, Sarge.

It's not gonna work.

Oh, no, that's not gonna work.

It's not gonna work with just two of us pulling.

Pull!

Pull!

Pull!

Got it, Sarge.

Thanks, men.

I still don't get it.

How could he be stupid enough

to get stuck in this thing in the first place?

Well, he thought it'd be

easier to shine if it was on his foot.

Yeah, but if he got it on, why couldn't he get it off?

That's the part I don't get.

Anything that goes on has gotta come off.

Yeah. You'd think so.

Well, don't just stand there!

Pull, dummy! Pull!

Slater!

Slater, we're moving.

Hang onto something, Sarge.

Hold it!

You dummy!

I gotta hang on to something!

Yeah, here we are.

Yeah. Sit.

All right, pick up the boot.

Pull.

Pull!

Come on, pull!

Slater!

How many times have I told you to keep that file locked?

Why don't we go get the guys and do like we did with Gomer...

Tug-of-war?

And let them see me wearing this thing?

What, are you crazy?

We just need something to loosen it up, like...

like... powder.

Yeah, that's it, foot powder.

In the locker, Slater... get it.

Oh, here it is, Sarge.

"Toujour Fresh.

Gardenia-scented foot powder for lovely smelling feet."

Give me that!

Sprinkle some in the boot.

See if you can work it in a little bit, Sarge.

How's it feel?

Not bad.

I think it's working in.

Let's give it a try.

If I ever get this thing off,

I'm going to have Pyle bronzed and mounted.

Go ahead.

Oh, wait a minute.

What's wrong, Sarge?

The chair's going to move again, dummy.

I need something solid to hang onto.

Good thinking, Sarge. What?

The window.

I'll hang on to the windowsill.

Well, hey, Sergeant Carter.

I'm glad everything worked out all right with that boot.

That sure was a smart idea of yours.

What you doing, Sergeant?

Slater, I'm slipping...!

Sergeant Carter, what in the world happened?

Here, let me help you...

Pyle, if you touch me I'll kill you.

Why, Sergeant, you're wearing the Order of the Lead Boot.

What happened, Duke?

Well, Sergeant Carter accidentally got stuck in the boot

and we were trying to pull him out.

Well, don't worry, Sergeant,

I'll run next door and get the fellas

and we'll have you right out of it in a second.

Just like you done with me.

Pyle, come back here!

You won't go nowhere and you won't say nothing to nobody.

There are three people on this base that know about this,

and that's the way it's going to stay.

Sarge, why don't we do what we were going to do with Gomer,

take it down to the metal shop and have it cut off.

We can't do that, Duke.

Don't you remember what Sergeant Carter said?

When we welded it back up it'd leave a seam.

So it will leave a seam, so what?

Let's get it off.

Suppose somebody sees us going over there?

Nobody will see us.

We'll camouflage it.

Camouflage it?

Hey, Vince. Hey, Vince.

Hey, Vince, what happened to your foot?

My foot? Yeah.

You mean this foot?

Yeah, yeah, what happened?

Well, uh... uh... a large thing landed on it.

No kidding? What was it?

Well, it... It was a big lead thing.

Lead?

Yeah, this big lead thing.

Boom, right on my foot.

Well, I'll be darned.

How long do you have to wear that thing?

The sergeant's on his way to get that taken care of right now.

But the hospital's a long way, Vince.

How come you didn't drive?

Yeah, how come we didn't drive?

Well, we, uh... Exercise.

The doctor said he's supposed to exercise it, Sarge.

Yeah, you know, uh...

walk around on it so it don't get stiff.

Hey, Vince, where you going?

The hospital's this way.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

The hospital's that way.

I forgot. Can you imagine that?

It's 1645, Sarge. They're gone.

Gone? What do you mean gone?

Why would they go so early?

Suppose there's an emergency.

What kind of emergency can you have in a metal shop?

This! This is an emergency!

Maybe we could borrow a little saw from the hobby shop.

Then Duke and me could saw your...

Forget it, Pyle.

I ain't about to let you two dummies

close to me with anything sharp.

Come on, let's go.

Well, don't worry about it, Sergeant.

The sign on the metal shop said they'd be open

at 7:30 in the morning.

Don't worry?

The ceremony's at noon.

How do I know how long it's going to take them

to get this thing off and get it welded back together again?

Oh, is that sore.

All that pulling and tugging,

it's really swollen in there, Sarge.

That's right.

It'll feel a lot better in the morning, Sergeant,

after the swelling goes down.

Don't be an idiot, Pyle.

I ain't going to bed with this thing on.

We got to get it off tonight.

But as long as your foot's swollen in there, it won't come off.

Then we'll just have to get the swelling down.

Hey, that's it.

What do you do when you sprain your ankle?

You put ice on it, and that takes the swelling down.

We can't put any ice on your foot... it's inside the boot.

Don't you think I know that, Slater?

We don't need ice.

The foot will go down when we cool me off.

And we'll do that in the coldest place I know...

The freezer in the mess hall.

How long has it been?

Watch that light.

Hacker's duty hut's right outside that window.

I'm sorry, Duke.

I guess I'm just a little nervous.

Well, try to be more careful.

What time is it? It's 12:30.

He's been in there about 20 minutes.

He should be about done.

We better check.

Sergeant Carter, are you all right?

He can't hear you... The earmuffs.

Oh.

Sergeant Carter,

does it feel like it's loosening up any?

Yeah.

I-I think so.

Try it again.

Yeah.

I think I felt it slip a little bit.

Just leave me alone a few more minutes,

and it'll come right off.

Right, Sergeant. Mm-hmm.

Who's in there?

It's Hacker!

Oh, mercy! What we gonna do?

We got to get out of here.

Open the back door. I'll get the sarge.

Sarge, quick! It's Sergeant Hacker!

We got to get out of here!

Sergeant Hacker's coming in!

Hacker?! We got to get out of here! Right!

Duke, the back door's locked.

Is that you back there, Jensen?

We're trapped!

I can't let him see me with this boot on.

You guys tell him you-you stopped in

for a snack or something.

Duke, his foot.

It's empty!

Slater. Pyle.

What are you two doing here?

Well, we were a hungry;

we decided to have a little midnight snack.

You what?!

Well, you see, what happened really was...

But this is a Marine Corps mess hall,

not your mother's kitchen.

You want a snack?

You'll have it with 200 other guys at breakfast.

Now, get out of here before I have you both

thrown in the brig.

Right, Sarge.

But... Come on, Gome.

Good night, Charlie.

It's where, Sarge?

In the freezer.

Well, you didn't expect me to carry it out

right in front of him, did you?

Go get it, Pyle.

But Sergeant Hacker just told us

to get out of there, or he'd have us thrown in the brig.

Just get the boot, Pyle.

Hey, Sergeant Hacker.

What do you want, Pyle?

W-Well, sir, to tell you the truth,

uh, I came back to get that boot.

Oh, you did, huh?

Well, suppose you just tell me what the Battalion Booby Boot

is doing in my freezer in the middle of the night.

Well, sir, uh, Sergeant Carter left it in there,

and he sent me back to get it.

I know he left it in there, Pyle.

But what was he doing in there with it?

Well, sir...

Give it to me straight, Pyle, or I'll have you thrown in the brig

for trespassing where you don't belong.

Well, sir, uh... he was wearing it.

Huh?

Well, you see, what happened was I accidentally put my foot

into it, and we just had an awful time getting it off.

And then I guess Sergeant Carter got kind of curious

and wondered if he could put his foot in and get it out.

You're kidding.

No, sir. I guess there's just something

about that big old empty boot that just kind of makes people

want to put their foot in it,

you know, maybe out of curiosity.

Yeah?

Well, I'm not drawn, and I'm not curious.

So suppose you just beat it now, Pyle.

Well, Sergeant Hacker, uh,

could I have the boot back?

No, Pyle.

I'm gonna give it to the colonel,

so he can give it back to Sergeant Carter.

But the colonel's gonna ask me where I got it,

so I'm just gonna tell him

what you just told me.

What's taking him so long?

Maybe he got locked in the freezer.

I ain't that lucky.

Where's the boot, Pyle?

Sergeant Hacker's got it.

Hacker's got it?!

Well, when I opened the freezer door,

there he was standing with it in his hand.

Why didn't you ask him for it?

Well, I did, Duke, but then he asked me how it got there.

And?

Well...

seeing as how I couldn't tell him a lie,

I told him.

You told him?

Pyle, now I got to go back in there,

and I got to beg him to give me that boot back

and to keep his mouth shut, or I'll never be able

to show my face at the NCO Club again!

All right, Pyle.

I'm gonna get that boot back,

and this time, I ain't gonna put your foot in it,

I'm gonna stuff all of you in it!

Charlie?

Yeah, Vince?

Look, Charlie,

we've known each other for a long time, right?

I mean, I know we've had our differences,

but something like this boot thing, well...

It's like Pyle said, I was the victim of circumstances.

It could've happened to anybody.

Look, Charlie, if you give me the boot back

and promise not to say anything, I'll give you anything.

Anything?

You name it, Charlie.

Okay. Neither one of us says anything about this business,

and you got a deal.

Oh, thanks, Charlie.

Thank you.

What do you want?

Help me get it off.

I had him.

I had him right where I wanted him,

and I let him off the hook.

Why didn't you stop me?

We didn't know, Sarge.

Who figured he'd be dumb enough to...

Watch it! Sorry, Sarge.

Don't you think we better check on Sergeant Hacker?

He's been in there purt-near half an hour. Hmm?

Yeah, I guess you're right.

All right.

Hold it right there, you men.

Oh, Lieutenant Anderson!

Good evening, sir!

Oh, it's you, Sergeant Carter.

What are you and your men doing here at this time of night?

Uh, well, sir, we, uh, uh...

How much longer, Vince?

I'm freezing to death!

Oh, oh... Sergeant Hacker...? Yes, sir.

It seems I got my foot caught in this boot, sir.

I was just trying to get it off.

Thank you, Sergeant.

For what, sir?

Well, at our staff meeting this afternoon,

we couldn't decide whether your platoon or Sergeant Carter's

was going to get this award tomorrow.

I think you've just broken the tie.

Good night, gentlemen.

Uh, by the way,

what makes you men think sitting in a freezer

is going to help him get that boot off?

Oh, it'll work just fine, sir.

Same way we got it off Sergeant Carter just a while ago.

The way you got it off Sergeant Carter?

Tell me about it, Pyle.

I think we may be all tied up again.