Original subtitles

PREVIOUSLY ON THE L WORD...

YOU GAVE UP YOUR AUTONOMY

IN A RELATIONSHIP

THAT THE LAW DOESN'T RECOGNIZE,

AND YOUR EX CONTROLS EVERYTHING.

SO YOU SENT HER TO FUCKING JOYCE WISCHNIA?

I JUST SUGGESTED SHE SEE A LAWYER.

IF YOU WANT TO SIGN A SIX-MONTH LEASE...

I WILL SIGN A SIX-MONTH LEASE,

AND I DON'T CARE IF I LOSE MY MONEY

AS LONG AS IT MEANS TINA'S COMING HOME.

DO YOU NOTICE ANYTHING ABOUT HER?

YEAH, SHE LOOKS A LITTLE BIT LIKE BETTE.

[BETTE]: SO YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A ROOMMATE.

[SHANE]: WE SHOULD TALK.

OKAY.

YEAH, THOSE RELATIONSHIPS...

THEY CAN REALLY FUCK YOU UP.

YOU DON'T WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP.

NO, I DON'T.

WELL, ARROGANT IS FINE.

OVERLY PRECIOUS, BAD PUNS

ARE TO BE AVOIDED,

ESPECIALLY IF SOMEONE WANTS TO BE ACCEPTED INTO MY CLASS.

NOW, YOU KNOW, WE'VE SET A DATE.

WE'D REALLY LIKE YOUR BLESSING.

[DANA]: I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.

YOU HAVE TO GET OUT.

THAT'S AGAINST THE RULES.

ARE YOU THREE? CAN'T YOU HOLD IT FOR A MINUTE?

[SHANE]: ARE YOU GUYS GETTING IT ON YET, OR WHAT?

NO!

I HAVE A CHECK FOR $50,000.

I'M COMING IN AS YOUR PARTNER.

IT'S A BUSINESS ARRANGEMENT, KIT.

THAT'S HOW IT'S GOT TO BE.

[KEYBOARD CLICKING]

[ANIMAL NOISES IN JUNGLE]

[GASPS]: TONYA.

ALICE, YOU BAD, BAD GIRL.

WHAT? WHY?

DON'T LIE.

TONYA KNOWS ALL...

AND SHE'S MAD.

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY?

[GASPS]

THAT'S RIGHT.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY,

YOU DON'T PLAY WITHOUT THE TON TON.

WHAT ABOUT DANA?

SHH...

SOMEONE'S HUNGRY.

STARVING.

[GASPS]

WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME

WHAT YOU TWO HAVE IN MIND?

OKAY, WELL,

MY CLIENT AND I HAVE EVERY INTENTION

OF MAKING THIS AS PAINLESS AS POSSIBLE.

WE ARE OFFERING

TO COVER ALL LIVING EXPENSES

FOR MS. KENNARD,

INCLUDING HER OWN APARTMENT

AND AN INITIAL $10,000 STIPEND

TO BE DISBURSED ANY WAY MS. KENNARD SEES FIT.

OH, COME ON,

BERT.

THAT'S SWEET, BUT SHORT-TERM.

WE'RE HERE TO TALK FINAL SEPARATION.

THE LAST HURRAH.

WHAT?

THIS WASN'T A MARRIAGE.

IT WASN'T?

WELL, LET'S SEE.

WE'VE GOT A HOUSE... CARS, VACATIONS,

LOVE, COMMITMENT,

A PROMISE TO BE TRUE,

A BABY THAT WAS LOST,

A TRUST THAT WAS BROKEN.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,

BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A MARRIAGE TO ME.

DOES THAT SOUND LIKE A MARRIAGE TO YOU?

IT WAS.

BETTE.

IT'S A MARRIAGE THAT I DON'T WANT TO HAVE END.

YEAH, WELL, IT'S A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT.

SO LET'S GET BACK

TO THE BUSINESS AT HAND,

THE EQUITABLE DIVISION OF FUNDS.

I THINK WE'VE GOT IT...

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY I'M SORRY?

HERE WE GO.

[BETTE]: I AM.

PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO US.

THIS IS NOT WHAT WE ARE.

TINA...

WE CAN FIX THIS.

OKAY? WE CAN FIX THIS.

TINA...

DO YOU STILL LOVE ME?

DO YOU? DO YOU STILL LOVE ME?

DON'T DO THIS.

DON'T DESTROY US.

OH, IF I COULD JUST INTERJECT FOR A SECOND HERE.

UM... IT WASN'T TINA WHO DESTROYED THIS RELATIONSHIP.

THAT WAS YOU,

AND IT'S A GOOD THING TO REMEMBER,

AS YOU'RE DEALING WITH THE CONSEQUENCES.

I AM DEALING WITH THE CONSEQUENCES.

WELL, GOOD FOR YOU, BUT THIS MOMENT ISN'T ABOUT YOU.

THIS IS ABOUT TINA AND WHAT SHE WANTS.

TINA, IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?

I-I THINK THINGS NEED TO BE DIFFERENT.

DID YOU HEAR THAT?

THEY WILL BE DIFFERENT.

SO WHY DON'T YOU GET OFF THE FLOOR

AND LET HER DO WHAT SHE WANTS FOR ONCE,

INSTEAD OF YOU RUNNING THE WHOLE SHOW?

COME ON.

WHY DON'T WE RESCHEDULE THIS

AT A TIME WHEN EVERYONE

IS FEELING A LITTLE LESS DRAMATIC?

WELL, TALK ABOUT A COMMAND PERFORMANCE.

MERYL STREEP COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT ANY BETTER.

I AM INSTRUCTING YOU

NOT TO HAVE ANY CONTACT WITH HER UNTIL WE GET THIS THING SETTLED.

SHE'LL JUST WEAR YOU DOWN

UNTIL SHE GETS WHAT SHE WANTS.

I'VE SEEN IT

A THOUSAND TIMES.

"I CHEATED ON YOU.

"FEEL SORRY FOR ME.

I'M IN PAIN!"

[PUSHES BUTTON ON INTERCOM]

HEY, EMILY,

WILL YOU GET ME A PROTEIN SHAKE?

TINA, YOU WANT ANYTHING?

NO, NO. NO, THANK YOU.

I'M... GOD! I'M JUST SO FUCKING MAD!

WELL, GOOD, GOOD!

ANGER WILL HELP YOU CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

COME ON, SIT DOWN.

OH. OH...

OKAY, I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED RIGHT NOW.

AN ICE CREAM SUNDAE?

FOOT MASSAGE?

I NEED MY OWN LIFE.

TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO

TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

I'M HAVING A BABY.

I DON'T HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE.

I'M SLEEPING ON MY FRIEND'S COUCH.

I'VE BEEN THERE FOR A MONTH.

I KNOW SHE WANTS ME OUT.

I SHOULD TAKE THAT DEAL.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

MY GUESTHOUSE IS EMPTY,

AND YOU'RE GOING TO MOVE INTO IT

UNTIL WE GET THE DEAL WE WANT.

JOYCE, I CAN'T DO THAT.

WHY NOT?

WHAT, YOU DON'T HAVE LUGGAGE?

YOU CAN'T LIFT HEAVY THINGS?

I'LL GET SOMEBODY TO HELP YOU.

YOU KNOW HOW MANY OF MY CLIENTS HAVE STAYED IN MY GUESTHOUSE?

PLENTY.

I'M HAPPY TO HAVE IT TO OFFER.

OKAY. GOOD GIRL.

[HORNS HONKING]

ARE YOU BLIND?

YOU FUCKING WENT THROUGH A RED!

GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR!

[POUNDING ON GLASS]

COME ON, GET OUT OF THE CAR.

GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR!

YOU NEED TO STOP YELLING.

NO ONE WAS HURT.

I HAVE INSURANCE,

SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP.

DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME, YOU FUCKING IDIOT,

OR DO I NEED TO SCREAM LIKE YOU, LIKE A FUCKING INSANE SAVAGE?

YOU'RE GOING TO BE ONE SORRY BITCH.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK

I'M NOT ALREADY?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M NOT ALREADY?

STUFF THERE FOR YOU TO DO...

TAKE THOSE TWO BOARDS OUT.

OKAY.

[IMPRESSED]: KIT.

I DIDN'T EXPECT IT TO CHANGE SO MUCH.

IT IS GOING TO BE A DIFFERENT PLACE.

I GOT A REAL SOUND SYSTEM COMING HERE TOMORROW,

AND THEY'RE GOING TO FINISH THE FLOOR TODAY.

THE STAGE...

THE STAGE IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE READY.

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE KEYBOARDS, DRUMS, GUITARS,

JUST IN CASE

A LENNY KRAVITZ COMES INTO TOWN.

IF SHERYL CROW, MARY J. COME IN HERE,

AND THEY WANT TO KICK IT AND JAM,

THEY GOT A PLACE,

AND I GOT A JAZZ QUARTET FOR THE OPENING NIGHT.

MAN, THEY'RE THE BOMB.

A JAZZ QUARTET?

YEAH. MM-HMM.

KIT, THIS IS...

WEST HOLLYWOOD.

THIS IS GAY TOWN.

YOU GOT TO GIVE THE GIRLIES WHAT THEY WANT.

WELL, I-I-I CAN'T CHANGE THAT NOW.

THAT'S MASON RAY, YOU KNOW?

HE WAS WITH THE VELVETS AND THE SHEFFIELDS.

Y'ALL HEARD OF HIM, RIGHT?

NO.

[SIGHS]

NO, NO, NO, IT'S GOING TO...

IT'S TOTALLY GOING TO BE OKAY.

KIT, I SWEAR,

IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL.

NO, PEOPLE LIKE THAT MUSIC, THEY DO.

NOT THE PEOPLE THAT COME IN HERE.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, SHE'S RIGHT.

I'M NOT PLAYING TO MY CORE AUDIENCE.

WE'LL FIND YOU SOMEONE.

I KNOW. I KNOW!

PINK. PINK!

SHE'S IN TOWN.

AL, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET TO PINK?

WE'VE GOT TO KNOW A LESBIAN WHO KNOWS A LESBIAN

WHO KNOWS ANOTHER ONE WHO KNOWS HER.

WE COULD GET TO HER, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

SHE WOULD LOVE TO PLAY HERE.

YEAH, THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

KIT,

BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF THE LESBIAN PHONE TREE.

I NEED SOMETHING SOLID.

I KNOW SOMEONE WHO'S A DJ, AND SHE'S EXCELLENT,

BUT I KNOW THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

NO, UH, NO, I'LL TAKE IT.

I WILL DEFINITELY TAKE IT,

AND SHE'D BETTER BE GOOD.

SHE IS.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

MISS BIRCH?

YES?

[DOOR CLOSES]

UH...

MY NAME IS JENNIFER SCHECTER.

UM...

I APPLIED FOR YOUR WRITING CLASS.

THE CLASS IS FULL.

YOU CAN TRY AGAIN NEXT SEMESTER.

I-I-I REALIZE THAT,

BUT I JUST, ACTUALLY...

WANTED TO KNOW WHY I DIDN'T GET IN.

MAYBE IT'S YOUR SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS.

THE SCHOOL-GIRL OUTFIT YOU CAME IN HERE WITH.

AM I SUPPOSED TO FALL FOR THAT?

I WANT REAL WRITERS IN THIS CLASS.

FICTION WRITERS.

YOU DON'T WRITE LIKE THAT.

YOU JOURNAL.

YOU THINK BECAUSE YOU CHANGE

THE CIRCUMSTANCE AND THE SETTINGS

THAT YOU'RE CREATING...

BUT YOU'RE NOT,

AND I'M NOT HERE

TO READ THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF MISS JENNY SCHECTER.

[SIGHS]

BECOME A WRITER FIRST...

THEN MAYBE.

[PAPERS SHUFFLING]

WELL, THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME KNOW.

BUT PLEASE DON'T PRESUME THAT YOU KNOW ME.

THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT, YOU KNOW?

AND THEN THE PLACE WILL BE ALL YOURS.

YOU COULD HAVE STAYED

TOTALLY AS LONG AS YOU WANTED AT MY PLACE,

TO LET YOU KNOW.

STOP FEELING BAD.

YOU NEED YOUR APARTMENT BACK

SO YOU CAN WORK.

WELL, I KNOW, BUT I JUST, YOU KNOW...

FRIENDS SHOULD SACRIFICE FOR EACH OTHER,

AND I WANT TO SACRIFICE.

YOU'VE ALREADY SACRIFICED.

WHOA. IS THIS A GUEST HOUSE?

OKAY, I OFFICIALLY STOPPED FEELING BAD.

FOR SURE.

THINK ABOUT THE BREAKUPS THAT BUILT THIS HOUSE.

WELL, I MEAN, LET'S NOT FORGET

SHE DOES USE HER POWERS FOR GOOD.

IF IT WEREN'T FOR HER,

THERE'D BE NO SECOND-PARENT ADOPTIONS.

I DON'T THINK IT WAS THE ADOPTIONS

THAT PAID FOR THIS PLACE.

WHOA.

YOU'RE STOKED.

I JUST WANTED TO GIVE THIS TO YOU.

THE BANK SENT IT TO MY HOUSE.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

I'VE BEEN BETTER.

ME TOO.

[SIGHS]

HAVE YOU EATEN?

NO.

WANT ME TO ORDER SOMETHING?

I GUESS.

I MAY NOT BE ABLE

TO PULL THIS OFF BY FRIDAY.

HALF OF MY DELIVERIES AREN'T IN,

AND THE SOUND SYSTEM MAY NOT BE READY.

KIT.

TINA IS TAKING LEGAL ACTION AGAINST ME.

SHE'S DIVORCING ME,

AND I SMASHED MY CAR IN AN INTERSECTION.

SO...

YOU WANT MEXICAN?

SURE.

HI. I'M SORRY.

OH, NO, NO.

HEY, THAT'S OKAY.

LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

WHAT SAYS YOU CARE MORE?

BEER OR SOY MILK?

SOY MILK.

BUT THAT'S NOT VERY SEXY, THOUGH, IS IT?

NO.

NO.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT,

AND THERE'S MORE IN THE FRIDGE IF YOU WANT IT,

AND I'M CARMEN.

AND I'M JENNY.

I KNOW.

[LAUGHS]

NICE TO MEET YOU.

OH, UM...

SORRY YOU HAD TO MEET ME IN MY "SUPA-LOVA" COSTUME.

NO, IT'S NICE.

OKAY.

I LIKE IT.

GOOD NIGHT.

HEY.

HEY.

ARE YOU GOING SOMEWHERE?

UM, YEAH, I WAS THINKING OF GOING OUT.

WERE YOU?

WELL, I, UH...

I THINK YOU SHOULD STAY.

REALLY?

YEAH, I DO.

I THINK YOU SHOULD STAY HOME...

AND I THINK YOU SHOULD PLAY A GAME WITH ME.

OH, YEAH?

MM-HMM.

THIS GAME IS CALLED...

"TOO HOT,"

AND HERE'S HOW WE PLAY.

WE... START KISSING...

AND WE CAN'T STOP KISSING...

MM-HMM?

BUT WE ALSO CAN'T TOUCH.

NO TOUCHING.

[LAUGHS]

SO THEN, IF YOU TOUCH ME,

THEN YOU LOSE,

AND THAT MEANS I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT.

AND WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU TOUCH ME?

THEN...

I LOSE,

AND YOU GET TO DO

WHATEVER YOU WANT TO ME.

MM.

SO... ARE YOU READY?

YEAH.

OKAY.

HANDS OFF.

OKAY, HERE WE GO.

MM... MM-MM.

[PROTESTING]: MM!

WOW.

LIE DOWN...

BITCH.

OH, YOU'RE SO AWFUL.

MM...

DID I SAY YOU COULD TOUCH ME?

NO.

NO, AND WHY?

BECAUSE I LOST.

THAT'S RIGHT. AND?

WHAT? I DIDN'T HEAR YOU.

BECAUSE YOU WON.

THAT'S RIGHT, I WON.

LOSER.

STAY.

[CHUCKLING]

YOU'RE SUCH A... BITCH.

[JENNY]: THERE I WAS AT THE CARNIVAL.

LIFE WAS SO SIMPLE...

AND LOTS TO DO AT THE CARNIVAL...

STEP RIGHT UP!

HURRY, HURRY.

KEEP 'EM COMING.

BULLDOG.

SEE THE RESULTS IN A JAR!

[DISTORTED VOICES]

[BOYS SNIGGERING]

[♪♪♪]

[PANTING]

TELL ME WHERE YOU GREW UP.

TELL ME...

TELL ME WHERE THIS CAME FROM.

NOTHING?

NOT GOING TO TALK?

OKAY, UM...

HOW ABOUT...

HOW ABOUT A HAMSTER?

DID YOU EVER HAVE A HAMSTER, GROWING UP?

NO?

OKAY. UM.

BROTHER AND SISTER.

HOW MANY OF THOSE DID YOU HAVE?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

LET'S START WITH MOM AND DAD.

ARE THEY MARRIED, DIVORCED?

DO YOU WRITE THEM, DO YOU...

SEE THEM?

DO YOU LOVE THEM? I MEAN, ANYTHING.

I'M GOING TO GO OUT.

[SIGHS]

OKAY, UM, WHAT ABOUT YOUR TATTOO?

WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT?

HMM?

I LIKE IT.

GOOD. YOU LIKE IT.

GREAT.

YOU KNOW WHAT? UM...

I GUESS, UH, I'M GOING TO BE LEAVING, SO...

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE, LIKE, HOUSE RULES...

NO, I DON'T HAVE... THERE ARE...

THERE ARE NO HOUSE RULES.

RIGHT. RIGHT.

THERE'S NOT. OKAY.

I... I DON'T LIKE SLEEPOVERS.

I'M SORRY...

BUT I DON'T.

OKAY.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING.

IT'S YOUR CHOICE.

WELL, GET READY.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT...

AT THE DINAH SHORE WEEKEND, OF ALL PLACES.

HERE COMES THE BRIDE!

HONEY. HI, HONEY.

MM. MM.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

THOUGHT IT WAS JUST US.

DANA... YEAH?

THIS IS VANESSA GODSON WITH ABSOLUT VODKA.

YOU KNOW BRIAN KARIKAWA... HI.

FROM SUBARU.

NINA ALEXANDER FROM BRIDE MAGAZINE.

WE HAVE ROMAN BROWN FROM WILSON.

HI.

SAM COUNTER FROM THE ADVOCATE.

AND OF COURSE YOU KNOW OUR BUSINESS MANAGER.

ERIC?

HEY, DANA.

HAVE A SEAT.

OKAY.

RESEARCH SHOWS

OUR COUNTRY IS OBSESSED WITH WEDDINGS,

ESPECIALLY CELEBRITY WEDDINGS.

TOGETHER, WE'RE GOING TO PRODUCE AN EVENT

UNLIKE ANY THEY'VE EVER SEEN.

WELCOME TO THE FIRST EVER

CORPORATE-SPONSORED CELEBRITY LESBIAN WEDDING!

[APPLAUDING]

NOW, IF WE COULD ALL

TURN TO PAGE FOUR OF OUR PACKETS.

PICTURE THIS...

A GLEAMING WHITE SUBARU

WITH "JUST MARRIED" STENCILED ON THE BACK WINDOW.

THE SUBARU "OUT" BACK?

THAT'S CLEVER, TONYA.

WE'LL HAVE SIMULTANEOUS COVERS

ON THE ADVOCATE AND BRIDE MAGAZINE,

EACH WITH A BACK PAGE ABSOLUT VODKA AD.

"HERE'S TO A MARRIAGE NOT ON THE ROCKS."

THAT'S FANTASTIC.

AND THE CAR COULD BE DRAGGING

WILSON TENNIS BALL CANS.

I LOVE IT.

YOU READ MY MIND, ROMAN.

AFTER ALL, IT TAKES BALLS TO BREAK THE LAW.

[ALL LAUGHING]

DANA AND I WON'T JUST BE MAKING

OUR COMMITMENT TO EACH OTHER,

WE'LL BE MAKING HISTORY.

UH, "HERSTORY."

ABSOLUT HERSTORY.

EXACTLY.

THERE ARE THREE NEW PROJECTS I'D LIKE TO COMMISSION.

I ASSUME WE'RE COUNTING

ON THE PEABODY FOUNDATION

TO UNDERWRITE SOME OF THIS?

WELL, THEY HAVE FUNDED IT FOR THE PAST SIX YEARS.

YES, BUT PEGGY PEABODY

IS STEPPING DOWN,

AND HER DAUGHTER HELENA IS TAKING OVER.

IT COULD BE A WHOLE NEW BALL GAME.

THE BAD NEWS IS,

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HELENA PEABODY HAS IN MIND.

THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT SHE'S ONE OF YOUR PEOPLE.

ONE OF "MY PEOPLE"?

MM-HMM.

WHAT, WHAT ARE YOU REFERRING TO? WHAT IS SHE, A YALE GRADUATE?

IS SHE AN ART HISTORY MAJOR?

IS SHE A MULATTO GAL, IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY?

I MEANT SHE'S A LESBIAN.

AND WHY IS THAT A GOOD THING?

BECAUSE I THOUGHT

YOUR PATHS MIGHT HAVE CROSSED.

IT COULD BE USEFUL.

RIGHT, BECAUSE ME AND MY PEOPLE,

WE'RE ALL ON A FIRST-NAME BASIS.

MAY I SUGGEST YOU GET ON ONE?

BECAUSE IF WE LOSE THAT GRANT...

FRANKLIN, IF YOU WANT ME TO GO TO NEW YORK AND MAKE NICE,

I WILL.

BUT PLEASE, STOP PANICKING. I'LL HANDLE IT.

UH, EXCUSE ME.

THERE'S A BRAD GREEN ON THE PHONE.

HE'S CALLED, LIKE, 14 TIMES.

WHAT PART OF "NO" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND, MR. GREEN?

I'M NOT GOING TO WRITE YOU A BLANK CHECK

JUST BECAUSE YOU YELL LIKE A FUCKING BANSHEE.

I NEED AN ESTIMATE.

THE INSURANCE COMPANY NEEDS AN ESTIMATE.

DO YOU SEE A PATTERN HERE?

IT'S THE WAY THINGS ARE DONE.

[SIGHING]

IF YOU KEEP PUSHING ME, YOU'RE GOING TO END UP

WITH A LAWSUIT ON YOUR HANDS, YOU GOT IT?

BRING IT ON, YOU FUCKING DWARF.

SHALL WE MOVE ON?

SO I'LL CUT A CHECK FOR TONYA TODAY

FROM THE CORPORATE ACCOUNT.

FOR WHAT?

HER MANAGER'S FEE.

I THINK IT SHOULD COME FROM YOUR CORPORATE ACCOUNT,

BECAUSE IT'S BETTER FOR TAX PURPOSES.

TONYA'S TAKING A MANAGER'S FEE?

JUST A STANDARD 15.

UH, IS THAT OKAY?

YEAH, IT'S FINE.

NO, THAT'S FINE.

NO, ERIC, WAIT. HOLD ON A SECOND.

LUNCH... WHO PAID FOR LUNCH?

OH, WE'LL TAKE IT OUT OF CORPORATE.

CORPORATE. OF COURSE.

GREAT JOB, TONYA. THANKS.

HONEY, I HAVE TO GO.

THE MONISTAT REP COULDN'T MAKE IT TO LUNCH,

SO I'M GOING TO GO PITCH HER NOW, OKAY?

ARE YOU OKAY?

YOU TOLD ERIC TO PAY YOU A 15% MANAGER'S FEE?

IS THAT BAD?

ARE YOU MY FIANCEE, TONYA, OR ARE YOU MY MANAGER?

I'M BOTH.

DANA,

DON'T GET SO UPSET.

WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.

NO, WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT THIS.

ARE YOU... AM I NOT DOING ENOUGH?

DO YOU THINK I HAVEN'T EARNED 15%?

NO, YOU'VE DONE... YOU'VE DONE A LOT.

HEY... I LOVE TO DO IT, AND I'M GOOD AT IT,

AND YOU...

NEED A MANAGER.

WOULD IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER TO GET SOMEBODY ELSE?

BECAUSE I CAN BRIEF THEM ON EVERYTHING

THAT WE HAVE GOING ON.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. DON'T. IT'S FINE.

I'M JUST SURPRISED, OKAY?

I COULD SWEAR WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.

I THINK YOU ARE TRAINING TOO HARD.

I HAVE TO DASH.

I LOVE YOU.

OKAY.

['80s POP PLAYING]

[GRUNTING]

[INTERCOM BUZZES]

[CHANGES MUSIC]

HELLO?

[DANA]: IT'S ME.

ARE YOU HERE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR FIANCEE?

NO.

SHE'S TAKING 15% OF MY EARNINGS, AL.

[BUZZING DOOR]

[INTERCOM BUZZES]

YEAH, WHAT'S GOING ON?

I CAN'T COME UP.

WHY?

THE RULES, AL!

JUST... WE'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.

[BUZZES DOOR]

OH. UH...

AH!

YOU'RE JUST GOING TO

LET HER TAKE 15% OF YOUR INCOME?

WHAT CAN I DO?

WELL, FIRE HER.

DANA, YOU'RE MARRYING AN ENDORSEMENT SLUT.

I MEAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE

SHE GOT YOU ALL THOSE DEALS, THOUGH.

IT IS PRETTY INCREDIBLE, ACTUALLY.

WELL, IF YOU WANT TO AUCTION OFF YOUR LOVE

TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER, IT IS.

IT'S HER JOB, AL.

IT'S HER JOB NOW,

BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS LET HER GET HER WAY.

IT'S WEIRD.

HEY, PATTY.

HEY.

SHE'S GOT YOU

BRAINWASHED.

NO, SHE DOESN'T.

DON'T YOU THINK...

JUST A LITTLE?

MAYBE A LITTLE.

YOUR SKIN LOOKS REALLY GOOD.

I... REALLY?

WELL, I WAS JUST... FORGET IT.

WELL, YOU LOOK REALLY GOOD, TOO.

THANKS.

FEEL MY THIGHS.

THEY'RE GETTING STRONGER.

WOW!

YEAH.

YEAH, BUT THEY'RE TIGHT.

TIGHTER. THEY'RE TIGHT.

AHEM.

YOU GOING TO SHANE'S TONIGHT?

YEAH. UH-HUH.

COOL. MM-HMM.

IS TONYA COMING?

YEAH.

OKAY, I'M GOING TO GET BACK CLEANING.

I WAS CLEANING, SO I'M JUST...

I REWROTE MY SUBMISSION.

I ALREADY TOLD YOU THE CLASS IS FULL.

I DID WHAT YOU SAID...

I TURNED IT INTO FICTION.

I WANT YOU TO READ IT,

AND I WANT YOU TO TELL ME IF YOU THINK THAT I HAVEN'T.

I'M NOT OPENING THIS CAR UNTIL YOU'RE GONE.

THIS... MEANS MORE TO ME THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE,

AND I KNOW THAT YOU CAN MAKE ME

A BETTER WRITER.

[SETS PAPERS ON WINDSHIELD]

YOU HAVE ALREADY.

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

HEY, GIRL.

I WAS JUST CHECKING IN

AND SEEING HOW YOU'RE PROGRESSING

WITH GETTING PINK.

YEAH, I TALKED TO, YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE,

AND THEY'RE REALLY EXCITED

ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF HER PERFORMING.

YEAH. NO, I KNOW.

I KNOW...

I'M REALLY COUNTING ON THE TREE, YOU KNOW.

DON'T LET ME DOWN.

I'M STILL TRYING, KIT. YEAH.

OKAY.

I KNOW.

OKAY. I'M REALLY SORRY.

OKAY. SORRY. RIGHT.

I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT.

OKAY, YOU GUYS, WE'VE GOT TO KNOW

SOMEONE WHO KNOWS PINK.

GILLIAN. WHAT ABOUT GILLIAN?

NO, GILLIAN GOT MARRIED

AND MOVED TO COSTA RICA OR SOMETHING.

SO SHE'S NOT EVEN

TALKING TO DOROTHY?

WHY DON'T YOU JUST PHONE HER AGENT?

'CAUSE THAT WOULD BE TOO EASY.

YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE PROMISED KIT YOU'D GET PINK.

I KNOW. THANKS.

HEY. HI. HI.

OH, JENNY, I'M SORRY.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE WORKING LATE.

WE CAN GO, THOUGH.

NO, NO, NO, DON'T.

I SKIPPED MY SHIFT.

I WAS RUNNING...

I WAS RUNNING AN ERRAND.

ALICE, HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.

ALICE WAS COMPLAINING

THERE WEREN'T ENOUGH INTERESTING SINGLE WOMEN IN L.A.

SHE'S NOT SINGLE.

SHE'S... YOU'RE SEEING ROBIN, RIGHT?

NO, WE ACTUALLY... WE BROKE UP.

WOW. SO YOU'RE SINGLE?

MM-HMM.

WOW.

WHAT HAPPENED?

UM, I DON'T KNOW.

SHE'S SMART, AND SHE'S SEXY,

AND... SHE'S GREAT.

BUT SHE BROUGHT A U-HAUL

TO THE SECOND DATE.

OH, GOD, DID YOU TALK TO HER?

NO.

NO. NO, IT'S...

MOVING IN

AFTER A SECOND DATE...

CLASSIC LESBIAN MOVE,

SOMETHING GOOD DOESN'T STAY ON THE SHELF LONG

IN THIS COMMUNITY,

ALICE.

WOW, EVERYONE'S HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME.

HEY, BETTE. HI. HI.

I THOUGHT I WOULD INVITE MYSELF

SINCE NO ONE BOTHERS TO ANYMORE.

JOIN US.

SIT.

DOES ANYONE MIND IF I SIT?

OR IS EVERYONE

SUDDENLY GOING TO REMEMBER

SOME PLACE THAT THEY HAVE TO BE?

NO ONE'S AVOIDING YOU. WE ALL LOVE YOU.

ESPECIALLY YOU, ALICE.

I DO, ACTUALLY.

IT HASN'T BEEN EASY.

NOBODY LIKES

CHOOSING SIDES.

BUT YOU DO IT SO WELL.

COME ON, BETTE.

WHAT, IS IT TIME FOR ME TO SHUT UP?

NO, IT'S... NO.

WE'RE HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME, SO...

LET'S DO THAT.

OKAY. OKAY.

THIS IS REALLY AWKWARD.

I ALWAYS THINK

WHEN THINGS GET THIS BAD

THAT IT'S BEST TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

SO I'M GOING TO ASK A QUESTION

AND EVERYBODY CAN TAKE TURNS ANSWERING.

OKAY, THE QUESTION'S GOING TO BE

IF YOU SAW YOURSELF AT A BAR,

WOULD YOU ASK YOURSELF OUT?

I'LL GO FIRST.

AHEM.

I THINK, IF I SAW MYSELF,

THAT, JUST FOR A MINUTE,

I'D THINK MY THIGHS WERE TOO BIG,

AND THEN I'D DECIDE

THAT I LIKE THAT.

OKAY, SO YOU GO NEXT.

HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU GO?

I THINK I WOULD WANT TO ASK MYSELF OUT.

IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN,

BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THE BALLS

TO ASK YOURSELF OUT.

WELL,

I WOULD FUCK MYSELF...

BUT I WOULDN'T DATE MYSELF.

BECAUSE YOU DON'T DO THAT?

IT'S HER HOUSE RULES.

AL, WOULD YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION?

WELL, IT'S A STUPID QUESTION,

BUT OKAY.

WHATEVER. OKAY, I DON'T KNOW.

I WOULD THINK THAT I WAS HYSTERICAL

AND CHARMING,

BUT I DON'T THINK I'D GO THERE.

SOMETHING TELLS ME YOU WOULD.

OKAY, WH...

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU TWO?

YOU'RE TOTALLY ON EACH OTHER.

JENNY HASN'T ANSWERED.

I THINK THAT IF I WERE A GUY,

I WOULD DEFINITELY

ASK MYSELF OUT AS A WOMAN,

AND... IF I WERE A WOMAN,

THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY

THAT I WOULD EVER

ASK MYSELF OUT AS A WOMAN.

[OTHERS LAUGHING]

INTERESTING.

WHAT ABOUT YOU, BETTE?

BETTE?

[TIPSY]: I WOULD SEE MYSELF...

AND THEN I WOULD GO RUNNING IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.

[BETTE CONTINUES LAUGHING]

[ALICE]: OKAY, WE'RE ALMOST THERE.

JUST A FEW MORE STEPS.

[SHANE]: OKAY.

[BETTE]: I JUST NEED TO SLEEP.

I KNOW, BABY.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. RIGHT HERE, RIGHT HERE.

[SOBBING]

OH, NO, DON'T CRY.

SHH, SHH, SHH.

LIE DOWN.

[SOBBING]

I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

THERE'S NO NEED TO BE SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

HELLO.

WELCOME TO THE DEFINING MOMENT OF YOUR EXISTENCE.

HAS EVERYBODY SIGNED IN?

I HAVEN'T.

LET'S PICK UP

WHERE WE LEFT OFF LAST TIME.

WE WERE WRITING ABOUT

THE HUNTER AND THE HUNTED...

HOW'S EVERYBODY FEELING ABOUT THAT?

A LITTLE SHAKY?

UNSURE OF THEMSELVES?

IF NOT, I'LL MAKE YOU FEEL THAT WAY IMMINENTLY.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

[SIGHS]

HELLO.

OH, GOD, JAMES, THANK GOD IT'S YOU.

YEAH, I WAS WORRIED

IT WAS GOING TO BE FRANKLIN BREATHING DOWN MY NECK.

LISTEN, I NEED YOU TO EMAIL ME

LAST YEAR'S PEABODY GRANT APPLICATION.

YEAH, I'M COMPLETELY STUCK.

OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

GREAT. THANKS.

NO, I'M NOT COMING IN TODAY.

I'M WORKING FROM HOME.

YEAH, I NEED TO GET THIS GRANT PROPOSAL FINISHED.

ALL RIGHT?

THANKS.

[♪♪♪]

[CLUB MUSIC PLAYS]

[♪♪♪]

COME ON IN. COME ON IN!

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

IT'S OPEN.

WHA...

DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE NOT COMING.

T,

IT'S THE REOPENING OF THE PLANET.

I MEAN, I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE BETTE,

BUT WE ALL HAVE TO BE THERE

TO SUPPORT KIT.

I'M SORRY, I CAN'T.

I NEED TO FINISH

THIS GRANT PROPOSAL

AND TURN IT IN BY TONIGHT.

PLUS, I WANT TO GO BY THE HOUSE AND PICK UP SOME THINGS

WHILE BETTE ISN'T THERE.

GREAT.

REMEMBER HOW I USED TO TELL YOU

IT WOULD SUCK IF YOU AND BETTE BROKE UP?

WELL, IT DOES.

THIS IS SO FUCKED.

YOU KNOW, I'M STARTING TO GET SCARED.

AND DRINKING HERSELF TO DEATH, AND YOU'RE...

I'M GOING TO SAY IT, TINA.

YOU'RE EATING YOUR PAIN,

AND I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH WEIGHT YOU'VE GAINED,

BUT IF YOU DON'T STOP,

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GO TO SOME ASHRAM,

OR HIRE SOME REALLY MAJORLY IMPORTANT PERSONAL TRAINER,

AND YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY.

ALICE...

I'M NOT FAT.

T...

SHIT.

I'M A LITTLE CONFUSED.

HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

I DID IT WHILE BETTE AND I WERE STILL TOGETHER,

BUT I DIDN'T TELL HER

BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE IF IT WOULD TAKE.

I DIDN'T THINK SHE COULD HANDLE

ANOTHER MISCARRIAGE.

OH...

IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY.

NO, IT'S NOT.

IT'S FUCKED UP.

I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY.

I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE MINE AND BETTE'S,

BUT IT'S GOING TO BE MY BABY,

AND I'M GOING TO LOVE HER

AND CARE FOR HER

AND I AM GOING TO GIVE HER

A GREAT SHOT AT LIFE.

COME HERE.

[♪♪♪]

IS THAT CARMEN SPINNING?

YEAH, I HOOKED HER UP WITH KIT.

AREN'T YOU GOING TO GO SAY HI?

I DID.

WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW,

YOU JUST SOMETIMES REMIND ME

OF GUYS THAT I USED TO DATE IN HIGH SCHOOL.

HI. UM...

MAY I HAVE TWO OF... THOSE?

[ALICE]: SORRY.

EXCUSE ME.

SHANE!

OKAY, UM... I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING

I'M REALLY KIND OF NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU.

FIGHT THE URGE.

BUT... BUT I CAN'T.

TRY.

BUT IT'S HARD!

I KNOW, BUT TRY. TURN AROUND.

YOU SHOOK THE LESBIAN PHONE TREE,

AND LOOK WHAT FELL OUT.

OH, MY GOD.

IT'S BETTY.

BOW TO THE POWER THE TREE.

HEY, BETTY RULES.

WHAT?

HMM? WHAT?

WHAT? WHAT?

[JENNY]: I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU WERE A REGULAR SMOKER.

I'M NOT. I'M...

I QUIT FOUR YEARS AGO.

THANK YOU.

HOW ARE YOU?

HOW WERE YOU WHEN YOUR LIFE FELL APART?

A MESS.

THAT'S IT. THAT'S ME.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT DOES GET BETTER.

YOU KNOW, I... I KEEP REPLAYING IT

OVER AND OVER AGAIN IN MY HEAD,

JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT

THE EXACT MOMENT

WHEN I COULD HAVE STOPPED MYSELF.

NO, NO, NO, YOU CAN'T.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT, BECAUSE WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES.

YEAH...

BUT NOT ME.

NOT LIKE THIS.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW

WHY YOU'RE TALKING TO ME ABOUT THIS.

I MEAN, IT WASN'T LIKE I WAS VERY NICE TO YOU

WHEN YOU WENT THROUGH ALL THIS WITH TIM.

I DON'T KNOW.

I GUESS...

I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS.

ALICE!

I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT,

YOU KNOW, WHEN I SAID THAT A GOOD WOMAN DIDN'T

SIT ON THE SHELF FOR VERY LONG?

I HOPE I DIDN'T OFFEND YOU.

UH... NO.

BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN SINGLE

FOR A REALLY LONG TIME,

AND IT MUST BE SO HARD

TO HAVE YOUR BEST FRIEND SO HAPPY AND IN LOVE.

NO.

COME ON,

I'M NOT BLIND, ALICE.

BLIND? BLIND TO WHAT?

YOU WANT THAT FOR YOURSELF.

DANA? NO, NO!

THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT,

BUT YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT

SHE'S ADORABLE.

YOU'VE GOT TO MISS THAT

IN YOUR LIFE.

UM...

THAT'S WHY YOU'RE SO MEAN.

YOU MISS HER.

I BARGED IN

AND I STOLE YOUR BEST BUDDY.

LOOK.

DANA LOVES YOU...

BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW, OKAY,

TON-TON KNOWS HOW TO SHARE.

UM...

OKAY, I'VE GOT TO PEE.

I'VE GOT TO PEE.

I'VE GOT TO PEE!

I'VE GOT TO PEE, TOO.

NOT SO FAST, HOTSTUFF.

MM!

LADIES... AND A FEW GENTLEMEN...

THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE.

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO HAVE A PLACE

WHERE MUSICIANS COULD COME

AND JAM AND GET MUCH LOVE,

SO I WANT YOU TO GIVE IT UP FOR BETTY!

WHOO!

GIVE IT UP! GIVIN' IT UP FOR KIT PORTER!

DOES SHE KNOW HOW TO THROW A PARTY OR WHAT?

[SHOUTING, CHEERING]

♪ UH-HUH, UH-HUH ♪

♪ UH-HUH, UH-HUH ♪

♪ IF YOU WANT IT COME AND GET IT ♪

♪ I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU DO ♪

♪ IF YOU WORK AND ♪

♪ IF YOU'RE WORTHY ♪

♪ I JUST MIGHT GIVE IT TO YOU ♪

♪ I AM THE IT GIRL ♪ ♪ AND IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU ♪

♪ OHH, IT GIRL ♪

♪ I AM THE IT GIRL ♪ ♪ AND IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU ♪

♪ OHH, IT GIRL ♪

♪ I'M A REGULAR JOSEPHINE ♪

♪ A SILENT MOVIE QUEEN ♪

♪ A '70s TV DREAMER ♪

♪ AND THE STAR OF A WINNING TEAM ♪

♪ I CAN DRIVE ANY HOTROD CAR ♪

♪ GOT MY NAME IN A CEMENT STAR ♪

♪ TOSS ONE BACK IN A FAMOUS BAR ♪

♪ DARLIN', IF AND WHEN I'VE GONE TOO FAR ♪

♪ DARLIN' I AM THE ONE ♪

♪ FOR FUN ♪

♪ EVERYONE ♪

♪ UH-HUH ♪

♪ UH-HUH ♪

♪ UH-HUH ♪

♪ UH-HUH ♪

♪ IF YOU WANT IT COME AND GET IT ♪

♪ I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU DO ♪

[CHEERING]

♪ IF YOU WORK AND IF YOU'RE WORTHY ♪

♪ I JUST MIGHT GIVE IT TO YOU ♪

♪ I AM THE IT GIRL ♪ ♪ AND IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU ♪

♪ OHH, IT GIRL ♪

♪ I AM THE IT GIRL ♪ ♪ AND IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU ♪

♪ OHH, IT GIRL ♪

♪ I'M THE QUEEN OF THE RODEO ♪

♪ BEAST DOWN AT THE DRIVE-IN SHOW ♪

♪ ROCK GODDESS ON THE RADIO ♪

♪ AND THE NEXT-DOOR-NEIGHBOR THAT YOU WANT TO KNOW ♪

♪ I CAN WORK ANY HARDWARE TOOLS ♪

♪ GRADUATED FROM THE FINEST SCHOOLS... ♪

BEER?

SURE. CHEERS.

♪ DARLIN' I AM THE ONE ♪

♪ FOR FUN ♪

♪ EVERYONE ♪

[CHEERING]

♪ WORSHIP ME ♪

♪ ON YOUR KNEES ♪

♪ WELL, I AM AMOROUS, GLAMOROUS ♪

♪ DANGEROUS, SCANDALOUS... ♪

YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A KID,

AND I SAW YOU ONSTAGE,

"THAT'S MY SISTER. SHE CAN DO ANYTHING."

I FEEL LIKE THAT RIGHT NOW.

[APPLAUDING]

THANK YOU!

I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE.

KIT PORTER IS MY IDOL,

AND TO BE STANDING HERE ON HER STAGE,

AFTER GROWING UP LISTENING TO HER MUSIC

IS... IT'S LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE.

KIT, KIT PORTER,

WILL YOU PLEASE COME UP AND SING HERE WITH US?

COME ON!

COME ON.

♪ I DON'T NEED WHOLE LOTS OF MONEY ♪

♪ I DON'T NEED ♪

♪ A BIG, FINE CAR ♪

♪ I'VE GOT EVERYTHING ♪

♪ THAT A MAN COULD WANT ♪

♪ I GOT MORE... THAN I COULD ASK FOR ♪

♪ I DON'T HAVE TO RUN AROUND ♪

♪ I DON'T HAVE TO STAY OUT ALL NIGHT ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'VE GOT ME ♪

♪ A SWEET SWEET, LOVING WOMAN ♪

♪ AND SHE KNOWS JUST HOW TO TREAT ME RIGHT ♪

♪ WELL, MY BABY ♪

♪ SHE'S ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ WELL, MY BABY ♪

♪ SHE'S CLEAN OUT OF SIGHT ♪

♪ DON'T YOU KNOW THAT ♪

♪ SHE'S SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL ♪

♪ YES, SHE IS, YEAH ♪

♪ SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL ♪

♪ YEAH ♪

♪ SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL ♪

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET OUT OF HERE?

♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪

[CHUCKLES]

♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪

♪ WHEN I HOLD HER IN MY ARMS ♪

YEAH, I DO, BUT, UM...

I'M ACTUALLY STILL WORKING,

SO MAYBE WE CAN DO IT SOME OTHER TIME?

YEAH, I WOULD LIKE THAT.

YEAH? MM-HMM.

♪ OOH, WHEN MY BABY KISSES ME ♪

♪ MY HEART BECOMES FILLED WITH DESIRE ♪

♪ WHEN SHE WRAPS HER LOVING ARMS AROUND ME ♪

♪ IT 'BOUT DRIVES ME OUT OF MY MIND ♪

♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪

♪ YEAH, WHEN MY BABY KISSES ME ♪

♪ CHILLS RUN UP AND DOWN MY SPINE ♪

♪ WELL, MY BABY SHE'S ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ WELL, MY BABY SHE'S CLEAN OUT OF SIGHT ♪

♪ DON'T YOU KNOW THAT ♪

♪ SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL ♪

♪ SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL ♪

♪ SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL ♪

♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪

♪ IS THERE ANYBODY IS THERE ANYBODY ♪

♪ GOT A SWEET LITTLE WOMAN LIKE MINE? ♪

♪ GOT TO BE SOMEBODY ♪

♪ I KNOW THERE'S SOMEBODY ♪

♪ GOT A SWEET LITTLE WOMAN LIKE MINE ♪

TINA...

♪ CAN I GET A WITNESS? ♪ ♪ HONEY, CAN I GET A WITNESS? ♪

♪ CAN I, CAN I? CAN I, CAN I?

♪ CAN I GET A WITNESS? ♪

♪ CAN I GET A... CAN I? ♪

♪ CAN I GET A WITNESS? ♪

♪ CAN I, CAN I, CAN I... ♪

♪ WITNESS ♪

♪ CAN I GET A WITNESS? ♪

♪ CAN I, CAN I... ♪

♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪

♪ SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL ♪

♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪

♪ SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL ♪

♪ SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL ♪

♪ YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT ♪

♪ SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL ♪

♪ SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL ♪

♪ SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL ♪

♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪

♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH YEAH, YEAH... ♪♪