Original subtitles

[ Music ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Music ]

[ Phone Ringing ]

>> Hi, this is Angela.

Please leave a message at the beep.

>> Rise and shine, sweetheart.

I know you're listening.

Wake up, wake up.

I'll just sing until you wake up.

When I'm calling you --

>> I'm up, I'm awake.

What time is it?

>> Don't you own a clock?

>> No, and my rooster died.

>> Oh, what a kidder.

I just called you to remind you about your interview.

>> What interview?

>> The one with Chuck Aaron.

Oh, don't tell me you forgot about your deadline?

>> Calm down, calm down, Baxter, I remember, I remember.

Where am I supposed to meet him?

>> You run this far every day?

>> Ten miles a day.

Be aware of my location.

You know every time I'm interviewed

by a woman they can't keep their hands off me.

>> Oh, so I should control myself.

>> Watch your step.

Got to stay on your toes.

>> How do you respond to critics

who say you're movies glamorize war?

>> Aw they're full of it.

Over the bench.

[ Music ]

>> Like I was saying, critics don't know anything.

My pictures make millions of dollars.

You want to know why?

>> No. Yes?

>> Because I represent the American ideal.

Meat and potatoes.

Monday night football, two cars in every garage,

that's why I stay in shape,

people won't buy me killing commies with a fat gut.

Under the log.

Come on.

[ Music ]

>> Have your political views made it difficult for you

to film in foreign countries?

>> Well, yeah, but well I can't help it they were

born foreigners.

Like when we were on shoot Lost in Combat,

part six in the Philippines, they got offended just

because I wouldn't eat that rice

and fish crap they serve down there.

So I had prime rib flown in every day.

Around the trees.

>> Uh. Oh.

>> I send you out to talk to a popular action star

and you massacre the guy.

>> I massacred him?

>> Listen to this, Aaron pushes US supremacy to a point

that makes John Wayne look like a liberal.

>> Just a casual observation.

>> Oh, really?

Well, what about here where you referred to him as a sexist pig?

>> I call them as I see them.

>> I wanted an interview, not a barbecue.

Angela, sweetheart, Hollywood Beat is an entertainment

magazine, so just hold all the politics for the editorial page.

>> Baxter, you don't have an editorial page.

>> Precisely.

What happened to your face?

>> I cut myself shaving.

>> I find it becoming.

So when can I expect the rewrite?

>> Ah.

>> Look, I can give it to one of the guys to do

if you don't think you can handle it.

>> When do you want it?

>> You're late.

[ Music ]

[ Pounding Sound ]

[ Screaming ]

>> What the hell do you think you're doing?

>> Well, I'm just doing some repairs in here.

>> Look what you did to my wall.

>> Yes, ma'am, I'm real sorry about that.

Hey, you know what you ought to do?

You ought to talk to the manager.

Sure is a nice place you've got here.

>> Ooh.

>> You all have a good day now, hear.

[Singing] Oh, there ain't no rest for the working class.

Boss sits at home in a big fat chair.

[ Sawing & Pounding Sounds ]

>> Mr. Carrillo, what is going on here?

>> We're earthquake proofing senorita.

>> Oh, is that so?

Well, some Neanderthal just installed a porthole

in my living room.

>> What?

>> One of your men knocked a hole in my wall.

>> Don't you worry senorita, we'll fix it.

>> Oh, you'll bet you'll fix it.

How long is this all going to take?

>> Oh, they should be done in one more week.

>> What about all this noise?

>> It's okay.

They go home at six.

>> But I work at home during the day.

I am a freelancer writer, comprende?

>> Si comprendo senorita,

but maybe you can write at night, no?

>> No.

I think I'd prefer the earthquake.

Hello, Aunt Sarah, this is Angela.

Angela, your niece.

Who else would call you Aunt Sarah?

Yes, yes, I know it's very noisy in here,

that's why I'm calling you.

Do you still have that house up in Malibu, the one that used

to belong to your half-sister?

Can I use it for the next week or so?

Oh, that's terrific.

You don't know how much this means to me.

Great, I will drive up first thing in the morning.

Thanks.

Bye.

Great.

[ Music ]

[ Screaming ]

>> Who are you?

What are you doing here?

>> I - I was asleep.

>> And?

>> And you woke me up.

>> Okay, so who are you?

>> My - my name is BeeJay,

and I work for the owner of this place.

>> Aunt Sarah?

>> Yes, that's the one, Aunt Sarah.

Hey, you related to her?

>> I'm Angela, Angela Reid.

I'm going to be staying here.

>> What happened to your nose?

You run into a telephone pole?

>> No, a tree.

>> Oh, cool.

>> My sentiments exactly.

So tell me what do you do around here?

>> Well, I stop around every few days.

Chase the dust around.

Well, and make sure nobody ripped the place off.

>> Aunt Sarah doesn't spend much time here?

>> Are you kidding?

No way.

>> Why?

>> You mean you don't know what happened here?

Oh, oh wow.

>> Well, I know this place used to belong to her half-sister.

>> Half-sister?

The one and only Billie Blaine, Goddess of the Silver Screen?

Excuse me for living.

>> She was a little before your time, wasn't she?

>> I watched The Late Late Show.

Hey, and there was nobody else like her.

She had this sexy voice and this awesome bod,

and this unbelievable set of cones.

>> Cones?

>> You know, cones, biditties, bazoongas.

>> Yeah, right.

>> And it was in this very house that back in 1962.

Billie Blaine at the height of her career snuffed herself.

>> You mean she --

>> Bought the farm, bit the big one.

She ate a whole bottle of barbi's

and went for a swim face down.

>> Aunt Sarah never told me there was a suicide here.

>> Why do you think she doesn't come around here?

She can't even sell this place.

>> Oh, you're not trying to tell me this place is haunted?

>> I didn't say that.

>> Then what are you saying?

>> Nothing.

Want a brew?

>> BeeJay.

>> Do I look like the kind of guy who believes in ghosts?

>> You look like you'd believe in the Loch Ness Monster.

>> [Laughter] Loch Ness Monster, I like that, that's funny.

Okay, okay, it's just that some people, not me,

but some people have seen and heard things around here.

>> What kind of things?

>> You know, the usual, weird noises and things like that.

And sometimes like right around dawn people say

that they've seen this beautiful blonde running out of the house,

down the steps, onto the beach, and she takes off her nightgown,

and she disappears into the surf.

Hey, whoa, whoa, watch out there.

>> It's nothing, it's nothing.

>> You're a little nervous, aren't you?

>> Oh, me?

Oh, no, no, it's just -- it took me by surprise, that's all.

>> Well, I got to get going.

[ Music ]

I'll stop back in a few days,

but if you need me before then my number is on the frigerator.

>> Thanks.

>> Okay. Oh, yeah, and one more thing, watch out for the ghost.

Oh, no.

[ Music ]

[ Knocking Sound ]

>> Hello?

Hello, is anybody there?

[ Music ]

[ Creaking Sound ]

[ Music ]

[ Creaking Sound ]

[ Music ]

Haaaa!

[ Music ]

Whoever is in there you'd better give yourself up.

I have a gun, I won't hesitate to shoot.

[ Music ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Music ]

I have had just about enough of you for one night, Ms. Blaine.

I am going for a walk.

[ Music ]

>> People say that they've seen this beautiful blonde running

out of the house, down the steps, onto the beach,

and she takes off her nightgown, and she disappears

into the surf, surf, surf, surf, surf, surf.

[ Music ]

>> Hi, having a nice evening ma'am [screaming].

Take it easy, I'm not going to hurt you,

I'm just walking my dog.

See?

>> I'm sorry I yelled.

>> I'm Tom Farrell.

Say, why were you crawling around out there?

Did you lose something?

>> No, I was following some footprints.

>> Footprints?

You mean these?

>> No, no, no.

Those are mine.

These -- they were right there.

They led from the steps at the back of my house

out to the water, and I was following --

hi, I'm Angela Reid.

>> Nice to meet you.

What are you doing up playing Indian scout?

>> I'm a writer.

>> No kidding?

So am I. I work for The Herald.

>> Oh, that's a really good paper.

>> Yeah, I think so.

I'm on vacation, spending a few weeks at the beach.

How about you?

>> Me? No, I'm working.

>> Oh, yeah?

Which paper?

>> Well, actually, it's a magazine, Hollywood Beat.

>> Oh, sounds like fun.

>> Yeah, loads of laughs.

>> Say, if you're free some night maybe we could go

for a drink, maybe dinner?

>> Yeah, I don't know, I'm kind of busy.

>> Oh, come on, you can't write around the clock.

What about it?

>> Okay, maybe.

>> Great. So how do I reach you?

>> Right up there.

>> You must have some electric bill.

Hey, well, wait a minute,

isn't that the Billie Blaine ghost house?

>> What is it with everyone around here?

Do you all believe in the Boogeyman?

>> I didn't mean anything, it just happens

to be a well-known landmark, that's all.

>> Yeah, that's what I love about this town, some freaked

out starlet decides to kill herself and everyone wants

to build a legend around it.

I think it's disgusting.

>> What did I say?

>> Nothing.

[ Music ]

>> Careful, you don't want to do that again.

It's good meeting the neighbors, isn't it, girl?

[ Music ]

>> There.

[ Music ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Music ]

[ Silence ]

[ Creaking Sound ]

[ Music ]

I didn't mean to friten, to frighten you.

Please help me.

Billie Blaine.

BeeJay, I want to talk to you.

BeeJay, I said --

BeeJay?

>> Oh, man, now look what I did, I gave her three nipples.

Hey, maybe she looks better with three, what do you think?

>> I'd say you're indulging in some wishful thinking.

Listen, BeeJay.

BeeJay, I have a serious question to ask you,

and if such a thing is possible I really would

like a serious answer, okay?

>> Okay, shoot?

>> Did you for any reason go back

to the beach house last night?

>> No.

>> You're sure?

>> Sure I'm sure.

I don't forget things like that.

>> Then who wrote this?

>> Oh, wow, where did you get this?

>> I found it on the table next to my typewriter.

>> Oh, wow.

>> Boy when you said you were a fan, you weren't kidding.

>> Hey, ever since I saw In the Gilded Goddess I was hooked.

Here it is, the real thing.

When I was a kid back East I traded my entire baseball card

collection for this.

See, the same.

>> Wow.

>> I told you, the place is haunted.

[ Music ]

>> Why start smoking now?

>> Give me a break.

They say it's supposed to calm you down.

>> You know it's very bad for you.

>> Oh, so what?

>> So quit while you're ahead.

>> What do you -- is that my conscience talking to me?

>> Guess again.

>> All right, all right.

Who said that?

Who is it?

Answer me.

No, who is it?

>> Come on, you know who it is.

>> No, I don't.

>> Yes, you do.

>> No, I don't.

>> Of course, you do, silly, it's me.

>> Oh, no, no, no.

This is not happening to me.

I must be dreaming, that's it, that's it.

I am dreaming, I'm dreaming.

>> Angela, this isn't a dream.

>> Yes, it is.

>> No, it isn't.

>> Okay, prove it.

>> All right, I'll prove it, but you've got to promise me

that you won't get scared.

>> Okay, okay, I promise.

>> Okay, here goes nothing.

Hi.

[ Screaming ]

You promised you wouldn't get scared.

>> Okay, so I lied.

>> I'm not going to hurt you.

>> Well, what do you want?

>> I've been trying to contact you,

didn't you get my message last night?

>> Yes, I did.

>> Sometimes I get so lonely, I could scream.

>> Please don't, I don't think I could handle that again.

>> Gosh, no, I wouldn't do that, after all I need your help.

>> How can I help you?

>> My spirit is stuck here on earth

until I discover how I died.

Probable suicide just doesn't cut it.

Actually, I was hoping they'd send someone different,

you know?

Tall, dark, handsome.

But since you're a relative and all I guess you're it.

>> Is that supposed to be good news?

[ Knocking ]

>> Someone's coming.

>> Wait, wait, don't go.

[ Knocking ]

>> Hi, what's going on?

>> Nothing, nothing, why do you ask?

>> No reason.

Hey, are you okay?

You look like you've just seen a ghost.

>> Funny you should say that.

>> Mind if I come in?

You sure I'm not interrupting anything?

>> Do you believe in life after death?

>> I don't know, yeah, yeah, I guess so.

>> Then you think it's possible

that a person's spirit could come back and visit the living?

>> [Laughter] Well, I don't know about that.

Those things don't happen every day.

>> That's what you think.

>> I beg your pardon?

>> What would you do if the ghost

of a say a famous movie star appeared

in front of you right now?

>> Well, I'd ask her about her life, her career,

and then I'd get her phone number.

>> Tom, I'm serious.

>> It would make one hell of an article, though.

>> Yeah, I hadn't thought of that.

>> Yeah, sure, imagine what it would be

like to interview a ghost, say,

the ghost of Napoleon, Einstein or Hitler?

Well maybe not Hitler.

But you get my drift?

>> I sure do.

>> But, of course, we can't talk to the dead.

>> No, of course not.

>> It'd be nice if we could, but we can't.

>> But we can't.

Listen, it was so nice of you to stop by.

We really should do this again sometime.

>> Oh, yeah.

Hey, you want to go for a drink?

>> Oh, I'd love to.

I'm really busy right now.

>> I didn't mean now, I meant later?

>> Later, sure, I'd love it, that's great.

Bye.

Billie? Billie?

>> That girl is nuts, cute but nuts.

[ Music ]

>> Morning you.

>> Hello, yourself.

>> It's you.

>> Of course silly.

Who'd you expect?

>> It's good to see you.

>> It's good to see you, too, Angela.

>> Billie, there was something I wanted to talk to you about.

>> Really?

What?

>> Well, it can wait until you're finished in here.

>> Okay.

[ Music ]

>> Boo!

>> Oh, Billie, don't sneak up on me like that.

>> I didn't mean to sneak.

I faded in.

>> Well, don't fade in behind me, okay?

>> Sorry. So what did you want to talk to me about?

>> You said you wanted me

to help you free your spirit, right?

>> Right.

>> And the way to do that is to find

out what happened to you that night.

>> Right.

>> Well, I'm going to need some background.

Billie, I would like to interview you

for Hollywood Beat.

>> Really?

What's Hollywood Beat?

>> It's kind of a fan magazine.

>> Oh, they used to write about me all the time.

Hey, this isn't some kind of a joke, is it?

>> Huh-uh, cross my heart and hope to -- honest.

>> Oh, this is going to be just crazy, like the good old days.

When do we get started?

I was in this hotel on the Riviera,

locked out on the balcony with nothing on but my goodwill.

I climbed onto the balcony next door and ran

into this simply creamy banker, smack in the middle

of the Wall Street Journal.

Boy, was he ever surprised.

He never even got to finish his paper.

Did you get all that?

>> Uh-huh.

>> Oh, will you look at him?

>> Billie, what is it with you and men?

>> I just love them, that's all.

Short ones, tall ones, thin ones, fat ones.

>> Didn't you ever have any friends?

You know, female friends?

>> Not really.

You're my first one, ever.

Gosh, Angie, I don't know what I would have done

if you hadn't come along.

Life sure doesn't prepare you for being dead.

>> That almost sounded profound.

>> So what about you?

Who was that guy who was here before?

>> You mean Tom?

He's just someone I met.

>> So do you like him?

>> I don't know, maybe.

>> Angie, either you do or you don't.

>> So what if I do?

>> Well, you might show it a little.

>> Just because I like a guy doesn't mean I have

to throw myself at him.

>> Who said anything about throwing yourself at him?

If you play it right he'll jump you.

>> Billie, it's almost 1990, women are different today.

>> Hey, you want to go for a walk?

>> Billie, how did you -- you know?

>> What?

>> Die. I know, it wasn't suicide, was it?

Hey, I didn't mean to upset you, I just wanted to know.

>> I wish I could tell you.

>> Well if you don't want to talk about it,

believe me, I'll understand.

>> No, it's not that, you see, I've tried and tried

to remember what happened that night, it just --

it just keeps coming up blank.

>> You don't remember anything?

>> Everything before is crystal clear, then kafluey.

>> Kafluey?

>> Uh-huh.

I'm dead, and I don't even know how or why.

All I know is I'm stuck here and I can't leave.

>> Billie, honey, it's not so bad.

>> That's easy for you to say.

>> Hey, you've still got your looks.

Everyone wonders what's going to happen to them

after they're gone but you already know.

Sure, it's not a picnic, but at least it's better than nothing.

Billie?

Billie?

[ Music ]

Billie, there you are.

I was wondering where you'd gone.

Come on over here, take a look at what I've written so far?

[ Music ]

Billie? Billie, come back!

No, don't!

[ Music ]

>> Oops, sorry.

>> Excuse me.

>> Billie Blaine, In Her Own Words.

What happened to Chuck Aaron's story?

>> I got a little sidetracked.

>> Wow, that's completely irresponsible.

I mean I'm putting this new issue to press tonight.

Angela, how could you do this to me?

>> Just put Billie Blaine in place of Rambo Junior.

She's a lot more interesting, believe me.

>> She has been dead for more than 25 years.

>> Well, I know that.

I ran across an old diary of hers

in the house I'm staying at.

>> An old diary?

You know, this whole thing is starting to sound

like something out of a Nancy Drew.

>> Are you feeling all right?

>> Does it sound like it?

I'll be back in a minute.

>> So what does he think of our story?

>> What are you doing here?

>> I wanted to come along.

I haven't been anywhere since 1962.

>> You haven't?

>> No, every time I tried to leave the house it felt

like someone nailed my shoes to the floor, but when I'm

with you it's different.

I just got in the car and came along.

>> That's nice Billie but you can't stay.

Somebody is going to see you.

>> Oh, no.

No one can see me unless I want them to.

Right now you're the only one who can.

>> Oh, well, just keep it that way

and don't say anything either, okay?

>> Okay.

>> Angela, are you talking to yourself?

>> No, I was talking to my imaginary playmate.

Baxter, say hello?

>> Nice to see you pal.

You are putting on a little weight, aren't you?

>> How rude.

Why, I never.

>> So what about the piece?

>> Angela, sweetheart,

this Blaine dame is old news, she's history.

>> I am not.

>> She's more than history, she's a Hollywood legend.

>> Yes.

>> Think about it, Baxter, you could be the first

to publish her long, lost autobiography.

>> Which you just happened to find after all of these years?

Oh, come on, there's something fishy about this whole thing.

Besides nobody is interested in reading crap like that.

>> Crap?

>> No.

>> Angela, you can't let him treat you like that.

>> Baxter, you can't treat me like that.

>> What?

>> You can take Hollywood Beat and stick it.

>> That's telling him.

>> If you're not interested

in the article there are many other magazines who will be.

>> So put that in your pipe and smoke it, Buster.

>> Oh, come on, you wouldn't do that to me?

>> Try me.

>> Yeah, try us.

>> All right, all right, sit down, will you, please?

We can talk about this.

>> So. You'll do it as a series?

>> Maybe.

>> All right.

>> At double the normal rate.

>> Hey, you're pretty sharp.

>> Double, I don't have money like that.

>> No problem.

>> All right, all right, all right, okay.

Boy, you drive a hard bargain.

>> Here you go, this should fit right in the spot you saved

for the Chuck Aaron piece.

See you next issue.

>> Oh, my God.

>> That'll teach you not to talk that way about a lady.

>> Just get away, just get away, I'm leaving.

Look at this?

>> It becomes you.

[ Laughter ]

[ Music ]

>> Angela look!

>> Billie.

>> The new issue of Hollywood Beat is here.

>> Well let me see.

Whoa, a cover story, Baxter.

Billie Blaine in her own words, by Angela Reid.

>> With an uncredited assist from me.

>> Pretty good for a ghost writer.

>> Yeah. Can I read it first, please?

>> Sure, go ahead.

[ Phone Ringing ]

Hello?

>> Ms. Reid?

>> Yes?

>> I was told I could reach you there.

I just finished your article in Hollywood Beat.

>> And what about it?

>> I'm very interested

in purchasing the diary of Billie Blaine.

>> I'm sorry but it's not for sale.

Who is this?

>> Ms. Reid, I'm sure you know perfectly well who this is,

and I'm also sure that you know that I'd be willing

to pay handsomely for it.

>> This is Murray over at Tinsel Town, isn't it?

>> My offer is 25,000 for you to drop your story

and hand over the diary.

>> Look, I don't know what magazine you're with,

but in any case my answer is no.

>> Well, I'm sorry you don't want to cooperate, Ms. Reid.

Nevertheless, I am going to get that diary.

It just would have been so much simpler for you this way.

Well, it looks like we're going to have

to do things the old-fashioned way.

>> Who was that on the phone?

>> I don't know, probably just a crank call.

Hey, I've got an idea, why don't we go out to a club tonight?

>> Do you mean it?

>> Sure. The first installment is already out,

the second one isn't due for a couple of weeks,

we owe ourselves a break.

>> That would be just swell.

I wonder what I should wear?

Well, what do you think?

>> I think it would be great if we were going

to the Academy Awards.

>> Is it really too much?

>> Or too little, depending on how you look at it.

>> Well, I really don't know what's in fashion these days.

>> Don't worry about it, Billie, besides no one can see you.

Let's just go out there and have a great time.

>> I can't if I look yucky.

>> Trust me you don't look yucky.

[ Music ]

>> Hey Marco, she's talking to herself.

>> So what you talk to yourself.

>> No, I don't.

>> Yes, you do.

>> I do not.

>> Hey, she's taking off.

Let's get the diary.

>> I don't talk to myself.

>> Just shut up, all right?

[ Music ]

>> Well I'll be a monkey's uncle.

I've never seen anything like this.

[ Music ]

Oh, would you look at those two.

Aren't they just wild?

>> Aren't you forgetting you're a ghost?

>> Party pooper.

Can we at least get a drink?

>> What? You can't drink.

>> Says who?

I'm over 21.

In fact I'm over 51.

>> All right, if you insist, but I'll order.

>> Okay.

>> What'll it be?

>> A flying pinkie-dinky straight up.

>> A flying pinkie-dinky straight up.

>> Make it two.

>> Make it two, please?

>> Okay.

>> What's in those, anyway?

>> Never mind, it's yummy.

>> That'll be $7.

>> Seven bucks for two drinks?

Holy cow.

>> Welcome to the '80s.

>> Huh?

>> Oh, nothing.

[ Music ]

>> Here's mud in your eye.

[ Music ]

Come on, Angie?

Down the hatch.

You don't want it?

>> Honey, it's all yours.

>> If you insist.

Hey, what's the big idea?

>> Do you want to cause a panic in here?

Use a straw.

>> Oh alright.

[ Music ]

>> Try not to drink so fast, will you?

>> Oh, don't be such a killjoy.

I can hold my liquor better than anyone.

>> Hey, Ms. Reid?

>> Oh, no.

>> I didn't expect to see you.

What's going on?

>> Oh, nothing.

I'm just hanging out here by myself.

>> Yeah?

>> Just call me a two-fisted drinker.

>> Cool. You mind if I sit down?

I've been thinking about that letter you got, you know,

the one from Billie Blaine?

I think she was trying to make contact with you.

>> Oh, yeah?

>> Oh, no doubt about it, but I got this idea.

You see what if you were to hook-up your typewriter

to a Ouija Board, then you could ask her things

and the Ouija Board could type out the answers?

>> How would you hook the two together?

>> I don't know, I haven't figured that part out yet.

Maybe if you, well, if you hooked it up to a lightning rod

and held the séance during the storm.

Nah, nah, that would never work, it never rains in California.

So how do you like this place?

>> Would you just excuse me for a minute?

I have to go powder my nose.

[ Music ]

>> Nice buns.

[ Music ]

>> Not there.

Not there either.

[ Music ]

>> Hey, did you check this out already or what?

>> No, you're supposed to look in the closets.

>> Hey, I didn't know it was a closet.

>> I don't know, open it and see.

>> Oh, Mr. Woopies.

I'll Mr. Woopies you.

[ Music ]

>> Billie?

Billie?

>> My name is Billie.

>> Sorry, I'm looking for a different named Billie.

>> What's the matter, wrong color?

>> No, wrong sex.

>> Ooh, baby, that shit turns me on.

[ Music ]

>> Who does she think she is?

[ Music ]

>> Who the hell is that?

[ Music ]

>> Looks like a frigging movie star.

[ Music ]

>> Check out the blonde in the dress?

>> Yeah.

I'd sure like to go home with that.

>> Me, too.

>> Excuse me.

Do you see that girl over there?

>> Oh, I sure do.

>> What about you, do you see her, too?

>> There's nothing wrong with my eyes.

[ Music ]

>> Is she a friend of yours?

>> Not for long.

[ Music ]

>> She's not doing what I think she's doing.

Is she?

>> Let me through please.

Let me through.

[ Music ]

>> Get over here.

That chick is taking her clothes off

and this is not a strip joint.

Get up there and stop her before she shuts us down.

[ Music ]

>> Oh boy.

>> Please don't take it off.

>> Oh jeez.

>> Billie whatever you do, don't take it off.

>> Oh, shoot.

[ Background Conversations ]

[ Music ]

>> What were you trying to prove out there?

Are you crazy?

>> They loved me.

>> Of course, they loved you, they loved your cones.

Hurry up and get dressed.

>> I am dressed.

>> Right, let's get out of here.

>> Just a minute.

>> Hey, what's the big idea screwing up our act?

>> [Laughter] You call that an act?

>> Look, my friend here has had a little too much

to drink, you know how that is?

Let's just forget the whole thing.

>> No, you're not getting off that easy.

>> Yeah.

>> Don't you push my great-niece like that.

>> Oh, yeah?

Why don't you stop me?

>> Ooh. Hey.

>> Hey, watch your aim, you clumsy ox.

>> I'll show you who's clumsy.

[ Music ]

>> Excuse me, excuse me.

>> Somebody may have recognized you.

>> Don't be silly no one

in a million years would think that it's really me.

>> Hey, you're Billie Blaine.

>> I think your million years are up.

>> Wait a minute, wait a minute.

[ Music ]

>> Oh jeez, that was close.

>> Oh, I guess those drinks went right to my head.

>> Yeah, well, it just goes to show you ghosts

and alcohol don't mix.

Now go make yourself invisible so you don't get us

into any more trouble, okay?

>> Okay.

>> I still see you.

>> Of course you do.

>> Well how do I know no one else can?

>> Ask someone.

>> Excuse me, sir?

>> Uh-huh.

>> Can you see my friend over there?

[ Music ]

>> Okay, okay.

>> Oh, would you look at that.

>> Billie come back here.

>> Isn't it just the dreamiest thing you've ever seen?

>> Take it easy Billie, it's just a car.

>> Just a car?

And I suppose the Taj Mahal is just a building?

Angela, this is a chariot.

I used to have one just like it.

It's very nice, but we have to go home now.

>> Billie, what are you doing?

Would you get out of that car, what if the owner comes back?

>> You like old cars, huh?

>> Hi.

>> Hi.

>> Is this your car?

>> Uh-huh, she's a beauty, isn't she?

You don't see many of them around.

>> Ask him to take us for a spin.

>> No!

No, I haven't seen any in such great condition.

>> Well thanks.

So what are you doing tonight?

>> Oh, nothing much, I'm just out and about.

>> Out and about, huh?

>> So how is your dog?

>> Oh, pretty good, you want a bite?

>> No, I meant your other dog?

>> Oh, her.

She's fine, she decided to stay home tonight and do her nails.

Women.

>> Oh, I see.

>> Here they are.

>> Hey, you left your keys in the ignition.

>> I did? No, I didn't.

I guess I did.

I could have sworn -- hey, I'm lucky somebody didn't steal it.

>> Don't speak too soon.

[ Car Starting ]

>> What the hell?

>> Hey it starts great, doesn't it?

>> Yes, thanks, but how in the heck did that --

>> I'm going for a drive.

>> Want to go for a drive?

>> I'll drive.

>> I wanted to drive.

>> You coming or not?

>> Yeah sure.

>> There just hop in the back.

>> Here we go.

[ Music ]

>> Hey, you nearly hit those guys.

>> I missed them by a mile.

>> I did? I'll have to drive a lot more carefully, won't I?

>> Hey, you're going a little fast.

Don't you think you should slow down?

>> I'm trying.

>> I hate backseat drivers.

>> So where we going anyway?

>> That's a good question.

>> It looks like we're headed towards Santa Barbara.

>> We are?

>> Yes, we are.

>> Perhaps we should turn the car around and go back.

>> Oh, okay.

>> Tom I'm sorry, I just lost control.

Tom! Billie, take the wheel.

Tom, Tom, do you think he has a concussion?

>> No, he probably just fainted.

He was such a nervous passenger.

>> With the way you drive I'm surprised he didn't have a

heart attack.

Tom?

[ Music ]

>> Hey, did you see that?

>> Must be some kind of a college prank.

>> Let's get them, huh?

Come on.

>> Wait a minute, get the coffee off --

>> Reverse first, then forward.

What the hell did they teach you at the academy?

>> I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

>> Okay, just take it nice and easy, nice and easy.

>> I said easy.

>> He's not waking up.

>> Good.

>> What do mean good?

>> I don't think he'd be too thrilled by what's behind us.

>> The light, the light.

>> [Sirens] Oh, great, just great.

Let me drive.

>> No, I got us into this mess, I'll get us out of it.

Let's see what this baby can really do.

>> Now that is what I call some seriously reckless driving.

>> They're going to lock me up and throw away the key.

>> They'll have to catch us first.

>> Look out.

>> This is not my idea of fun.

>> Holy Toledo, these guys are fast.

This calls for drastic measures, steer for me.

>> What the hell is going on out there?

>> I don't know.

[ Music & Sirens ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Music ]

>> What happened?

Where are the cops?

>> Oh, they had a little accident.

>> Bob.

>> Yeah?

>> You mashed my donut.

>> How's he doing?

>> Still out like a light.

>> Oh well, I'll take us somewhere quiet

where you can revive him.

[ Music ]

>> Billie, what are we stopping here for?

This looks like a make out spot.

I'm not going to give him mouth-to-mouth.

>> What better way to wake a guy up?

>> Billie!

>> Shush, he's coming to.

I'll see you later.

>> Don't you dare.

Billie. Billie.

>> The name is Tom.

Where are we?

Great view.

>> Yes, it is, isn't it?

>> So the last thing I remember is you were driving real fast.

>> I was driving you home, but you fell asleep so I --

>> So you decided to take me up here and take advantage of me?

>> No, no, that wasn't the idea, at all.

>> Oh, no?

Then what'd you have in mind?

>> Like you said, it's a great view.

[ Music ]

This is so unexpected.

>> I know.

Especially after the way you treated me the other day.

>> Tom, I am so sorry about that, I can explain everything.

>> Ah, there's no need to.

>> Yes, there is.

You seem like a nice guy and you really should know the truth.

>> Well, thanks.

>> It's her, it's Billie Blaine.

>> Who is?

>> The ghost, the one that's in my house,

the one that's been driving your car.

>> What are you talking about?

>> Okay, I know this is hard to believe, but it's true,

I've seen her, I've talked to her.

I'm writing her biography.

>> Your writing her biography?

>> Well, actually, she's writing it with me,

but we're saying it came from an old diary of hers

because we don't want everyone to know she's dead.

Well, actually, everyone knows she's dead

but we don't want everyone

to think she can write still, you understand?

>> Yeah.

>> What's wrong?

>> Oh, nothing.

Nothing, at all.

>> Tom, you don't think I'm making this up, do you?

>> Look I don't know what to think.

You're a very pretty girl and a good kisser,

but if you think you're seeing ghosts you need something other

than a boyfriend.

>> But, Tom, I swear.

>> And if you're making this up just to break the mood,

it'd be a lot simpler just to tell me you had a headache.

>> Oh.

Where are we going?

>> Home, yours.

>> Hey, wait, my car.

Oh, I left it at the club.

Billie?

>> I swear to God, Angela, I had nothing to do with this.

>> Who did this?

>> I don't know, maybe burglars?

>> Oh, I'm too tired to worry about this now.

I'll deal with the house, my car, everything in the morning.

And, as for you, you are in big trouble.

If we weren't writing this story together I swear I'd --

good night.

[ Music ]

>> Dear Tom, please forgive the way I acted last night.

Come over for a drink around seven,

and I'll make it up to you.

Love, Angela.

>> I can't trust you guys to do the simplest thing.

>> Boss, we pulled the place apart.

>> Yeah, there was no sign of it anywhere.

>> You've got to believe us.

>> All right, all right, I believe you.

Maybe it is somewhere else.

>> Yeah, then how are we going to find it?

>> I guess we'll just have to persuade her, won't we?

[ Music ]

[ Knocking ]

[ Music ]

>> Hi.

>> Hi.

>> These are for you.

>> Oh, thanks.

Come on in.

It's really sweet of you.

>> Well, I figured as long

as you made the first gesture, well.

>> What?

>> Well when I got your note inviting me

over here tonight I thought it was the least I could do.

>> What? I didn't.

Billie.

>> Tom, Tom Farrell.

>> Yeah, right.

Come, won't you sit down?

Can I get you something to drink?

>> Sure.

>> What would you like?

>> Oh, it doesn't matter.

Whatever you're having is fine.

>> All I really want is you.

>> I beg your pardon?

>> Will a coke do?

>> Yeah.

>> If she wasn't already dead.

>> Fine.

>> Turn down the lights and put on some soft music.

>> Okay.

[ Music ]

>> Tom?

>> Over here, babe.

>> Why did you turn off the lights?

>> Well, you didn't tell me where the dimmer was.

Is the music okay?

>> Sure.

>> Well, I have to admit I was pretty surprised

when you asked me over here tonight.

>> Me, too.

>> Huh?

>> That's me, unpredictable.

>> Well, I like that.

Most of the women I meet,

especially writers, are so boring.

>> Then why don't you just shut-up and kiss me?

>> All right, I will.

What's the matter?

>> Nothing, nothing.

Wait right here.

I'll be right back.

>> I'm just going to slip into something more comfortable.

>> In the kitchen?

Kinky.

>> Billie?

Billie, you come here this instant.

Where do you get off meddling in my affairs?

>> If I didn't meddle you wouldn't have any affairs.

>> That is none of your business.

I was doing just fine without you.

>> Not from where I was watching.

Things haven't changed that much since my day,

the way you were going you'll wind-up an old maid.

>> Oh, great, great, just what I need, a sex education course

from some out-of-date bimbo.

>> Who are you calling out-of-date?

>> You, you put women's right back in the dark ages.

>> Well, we'll see how good you do without my help, Ms. 1980s.

Because this is the last you'll see of me.

>> Fine.

Hi, I'm back.

>> Who were you talking to in there?

You're not going to go and turn schizo on me, are you?

>> Me? No, no, no I was talking to my Aunt Sarah.

>> Your Aunt Sarah?

>> On the phone.

You know how rough dates can be sometimes.

Can I get you something else to drink?

>> No, thanks.

Now that's more like it.

You don't still think you're being haunted

by Billie Blaine, do you?

>> Not anymore.

We're the only ones here.

[ Music ]

[ Belching ]

[ Music ]

>> It looks like our subject adjourning to the boudoir

to do a little horizontal entertainment.

>> That means this is more than a casual acquaintance.

Should I call the boss or what?

>> Hey, be my guest.

[ Music ]

>> Good morning.

>> Good morning.

>> You want me to make us some breakfast?

>> Hooker.

>> What was that again?

>> Hooker.

>> That's what I thought you said.

>> Make a sound meatball and you're dead.

>> Tom?

Tom?

[ Phone Ringing ]

Hello.

>> We have your friend, Ms. Reid.

>> What friend?

>> The man you spent last night with.

I'm willing to trade his life for the diary you have.

>> Wait a minute, who is this?

>> The time for games is long past, Ms. Reid.

I'll give you one hour to decide,

and I wouldn't call the authorities if I were you.

At the first sign of police your friend is a dead man.

>> My God.

Tom.

>> Where is she?

>> Where's who?

>> Billie Blaine.

>> She's not here.

>> Oh, then you don't deny that she was here,

just like you don't deny

that I saw you the other night with her at Scream.

>> Yes, yes, it was her.

>> Then where is she?

>> Back in ghost land.

How would I know?

Look, I can't worry about her now, Tom has been kidnapped.

>> Oh, no.

Who's Tom?

>> Think Angela, think.

They said they'd kill Tom if I didn't give them the diary.

>> So why don't you just give them the diary?

>> Because I don't have it, it doesn't even exist.

Billie was telling me her life story, I was writing it.

We had to explain where it was coming

from so we made-up the diary.

Whoever kidnapped Tom must think

that Billie had written something incriminating

about him.

It's got to be someone she knows.

BeeJay, you've got to help me call her back.

>> Me?

>> Yeah, she's kind of mad at me right now, and since you're

such a big fan if you called her maybe she'd come back.

>> Well, all right, but I just feel really kind

of silly doing this.

Ah, Billie, Billie Blaine?

Yo, Billie, can I get an autograph?

>> Certainly BeeJay, anything you want.

>> Billie, I'm so glad you're here.

>> I'm not speaking to you.

So, BeeJay, what would you like me to sign?

>> Billie, I apologize for what I said last night, I really do,

but you've got to help me.

Tom has been kidnapped.

>> Oh, no.

>> Who's Tom?

>> By who?

>> Well that's what I don't know, it has to be someone

from your past, someone

who wouldn't want your memoirs published.

>> Gosh, it could be a hundred different guys.

>> And it has to be someone who wasn't mentioned

in the first article, does that help?

>> I don't know.

>> Were there married men?

>> No, but there was this one guy I dated secretly.

I think he had mob connections, so we never met in public,

it was always here or some secluded place.

>> Good, good.

Do you remember his name?

>> Vinnie, Vinnie Carbone.

>> Vincent Carbone, the politician?

He's running for the Senate.

>> No kidding?

I always knew he was ambitious.

Wait a minute, it couldn't be Vinnie.

>> Why not?

>> We were going to get married.

We were going to announce it to the public and everything.

In fact, he proposed to me the night I drowned.

>> You never mentioned that before.

>> I just remembered.

Wonder why?

>> Carbone, why does that name sound familiar?

Why does that name sound so familiar?

>> You probably heard it on the news.

>> No, no, no, no.

>> What's this?

>> It's from a 1962 paper, its Billie Blaine's death notice.

>> That's a pretty ghoulish thing to carry around, isn't it?

>> I think it's sweet.

>> Oh, here it is, right in the back here.

Carbone appointed to Mayor's staff.

Vincent Carbone attended ceremonies at City Hall,

accompanied by his wife, Dorothy.

>> His wife?

>> What? You mean he was already married?

>> Jesus, Billie, do you know what this means?

>> Yeah, I sure do.

It means he was a no good two timing bum.

>> He's a lot worse than that.

Don't you see, he couldn't marry you, he already had a wife?

His political career was just starting out.

He didn't come here that night to propose.

>> You mean he --

>> He must have slipped an overdose of barbiturates

into your drink, and then he let the tide do the rest.

>> Oh, shit.

>> I guess I never did have too much luck with men.

Five husbands, five divorces, and the last guy decides

to kill me before we even said I do.

>> Billie, honey, I know this isn't easy for you,

but this guy murdered once to prevent a scandal

and he'll do it again.

Even if I did have the diary to give

to him he'd never let Tom or me go free.

Please, you've got to help us.

>> What do you want me to do?

>> We've got to shift the odds over to our side.

>> Count me in.

>> BeeJay, you mean it?

>> Sure thing let's nail this butthole.

>> Yeah.

[ Music ]

>> She's clean.

>> Right this way.

[ Music ]

>> Billie?

Billie, are you still here?

>> I'm right here.

>> Oh, good.

Listen, I know how hard it's going to be for you

to control your temper when you see him, but please just try

to remember Tom's life is at stake here.

>> Don't you worry, Angie.

>> Shush.

>> Well, well, Ms. Reid, how nice to meet you face-to-face.

>> I'm sorry I can't say the same thing.

>> Oh, come on now, you can't allow yourself

to take these things personally.

May I pour you a drink?

>> No, thank you.

>> No? Well, I hope you don't mind if I have one?

>> To think I used to be in love with him.

>> So, Ms. Reid, I trust you brought the diary with you?

>> No, I didn't.

>> Why not?

>> Because, Mr. Carbone, once you have it what's

to stop you from killing us both?

>> You must think I'm quite a desperate character, don't you?

>> You have an affair with a movie star,

then fake her suicide to protect your career, now you're trying

to prevent your past from being dredged up before the election.

I'd say you're living slime.

>> Now, look, Ms. Reid, I'm warning you.

>> Please, please don't take these things personally.

>> Your quite right.

After all, this is strictly business, isn't it?

You know, that's something Billie would never

have understood.

>> Oh, spare me.

>> I wanted to tell her I was married,

that it would never work out between us,

but the girl was crazy about me.

>> Don't flatter yourself.

>> She demanded more and more of my time.

She never got enough of me.

>> I think I'm going to throw up.

>> Billie?

>> Oh, yes, Billie, yeah.

You know, I really think I did her a favor

when I slipped her those pills.

That girl never could have lived without me.

>> Why you dirty --

>> Oh, what a nice plant you have here.

>> Ms. Reid, how am I going to get that diary?

>> The exchange will be made tonight at a place of my choice.

I'll phone you later with the address.

In the meantime, why don't you round-up, say,

500,000 in small bills and put it in a briefcase?

>> A half a million dollars?

>> Oh, just a little get-away fund to keep us

at a safe distance from your constituents.

>> Ms. Reid, you're pressing your luck a little too far.

You might not make it out of this house.

>> If I don't a lot of people will be reading Billie Blaine's

memories of you by tomorrow morning.

Can you afford that, Mr. Carbone?

>> That's an awful lot of money to raise on short notice.

>> I have every faith in your ability

to raise a dishonest dollar.

Catch. I'll be in touch.

[ Music ]

>> Ow!

>> Talk to you later Vinnie.

>> Billie, you didn't?

>> I sure did, but he ain't seen nothing yet.

>> Tony! Marco!

Get in here.

>> Okay, now to implement phase two.

[ Music ]

>> Checked the place out, Boss, the girl is already inside.

She came alone.

>> Are you sure about that?

No police?

>> I swear there ain't no one for miles.

>> Tony, stay here, and make sure he stays healthy

for the moment.

Marco, wait two minutes, then come in through the back

and give this girl a warm reception,

but make sure I have the diary first.

[ Music ]

>> One please.

[ Laughter ]

[ Music ]

>> What are you all dressed up for?

>> What do you mean?

Oh, this? Very funny.

Where's the diary?

>> Where's Tom?

>> He's outside and he's going to stay there

until I get what I came for.

>> No, no that's not what we agreed on.

>> You've got me, my men have him.

Let's have it?

>> Let me see the money, first.

Okay, let's go.

>> Where?

>> On a little tour.

I hid the diary in one of the exhibits.

>> One more minute.

[ Laughter ]

>> Look, I'll buy you a pizza if you get off the phone.

>> Huh?

[ Music ]

>> He's all yours, you know what I mean?

I got a date with a lady.

[ Music ]

[ Belching ]

[ Music ]

>> How much further is this?

>> Aren't you enjoying this?

I thought you used to like movie stars?

[ Music ]

>> Yeah?

>> Hey, buddy, can I bum a cigarette?

>> Hey get lost punk.

>> Come on, man, be a pal.

>> Beat it, douche bag.

>> Hey, that's no way to treat a fellow human being.

Maybe the guy will be a little more understanding

on the other side.

>> Hey douchie get the hell away from there.

>> Oops, sorry, didn't know you were all tied up.

>> All right, that's it.

When I get through with you you'll wish you never were born.

>> Your mother uses steroids.

>> Hey eat this.

>> That's for not letting me wear my pants, Guido.

>> Hey, don't shoot, don't shoot.

>> I'm BeeJay.

>> I'm Tom.

>> Tom, I'm Angela's friend.

>> Yeah?

>> Is his name really Guido?

>> It's just a pet name.

Where is Angela?

>> She's inside with that guy, Carbone.

>> Well, they ain't alone.

One of his goons just went inside there after them.

>> Holy shit, I'd better call the police.

>> Look, there's a phone in the backseat, I'm going inside.

[ Music ]

>> What the heck?

[ Music ]

>> Is this your idea of a joke?

[ Music ]

>> You didn't think it would be that easy, did you Vinnie?

>> Huh?

>> I'm not over there.

I'm right here.

What's the matter, Vinnie?

Aren't you glad to see me?

>> This can't be.

Your suppose to be --

Your dead.

>> That's right, would you like to join me?

>> Stay back.

>> You can't hurt me, Vinnie, not anymore,

you hurt me enough already.

[ Gunshots ]

[ Music ]

[ Gunshots ]

[ Music ]

You can run, but you can't hide.

>> Hey, have you seen -- no, I guess you haven't.

>> Look Rip Torn.

Hey, Boss.

Get back here.

Hey what are you doing?

>> Vinnie.

>> I can't take this.

>> Frankly, Vinnie, I don't give a damn.

[ Music ]

>> Ooh, Vinnie.

Vinnie

[ Music ]

Good evening, Vinnie.

[ Music ]

Hi, Vinnie.

[ Music ]

I'm coming for you, Vinnie.

>> Oh, no.

>> We want you, Vinnie.

>> No, no, no.

>> Come back.

>> Hold it right there.

That's good.

It's time to say goodnight Cinderella.

>> Tom?

[ Music ]

>> Tom look out!

Oh my God.

>> Tom, are you all right?

>> Yeah, yeah, I'm okay, but let's get

out of here before Bambam comes to.

>> Okay.

>> Come on.

>> [Sirens] What happened in there?

What's going on?

>> I don't know, I lost track of them.

>> You.

Your dead meat pal.

>> Hold it, pal.

Up against the wall and spread them.

Come on.

>> Angela, what's going on here?

>> Baxter, so glad you could make it.

>> You'd better have a very good reason for getting me out here

in the middle of the night.

Now what are all these other reporters doing here?

>> Sorry, Baxter, but this was too big to be an exclusive.

>> What was too --

>> Help me.

Help me somebody.

Please help me she's after me.

>> Hey, buddy, what's the problem?

>> She's after me, don't you see?

>> Wait a minute, aren't you Vincent Carbone?

>> Yes, yes, I am.

>> Mr. Carbone, a moment please?

>> You have to protect me from her.

>> Protect you from who?

>> From her.

Don't you see, it's Billie Blaine.

What's the matter, don't you go to the movies?

>> They can't see me, Vinnie, only you can.

>> What do you mean they can't see you?

Of course, they can see you.

You can see her, can't you?

She's standing right over there in a low-cut evening gown.

>> They can't protect you from me, Vinnie,

not if they can't see me.

I can haunt you for the rest of your days.

>> No, no please, I'll do anything, just leave me alone.

Please, I'll do anything.

>> Maybe if you tell them exactly what happened

that night?

>> No I couldn't do that, my career would be ruined.

They'd throw me in jail, maybe the gas chamber.

I couldn't do that.

>> Well, then I guess you

and I will be seeing a lot of each other.

What are your plans for the next 20 years?

>> You win.

I confess.

Did you hear that, everyone?

Billie Blaine didn't kill herself, it was me back in 1962.

Yeah, I did it.

I gave her an overdose and let her drown.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I confess.

[ Music ]

>> Angela, this is sensational, I mean it's not every day

that you see a candidate crack-up in front of the media.

Now you said that he had kidnapped somebody?

>> Yes, he did.

Herb Baxter, meet Tom Farrell.

>> Hi.

>> Tom is a writer, too.

>> No kidding?

Listen, I wonder could I interest you

in writing a piece for us?

I mean say impressions of a kidnap victim?

>> Ah, I don't know.

>> Baxter.

>> No, no, no, I'll expect a story from you, as well,

but I just thought that, you know,

like we could put them both together

and make a feature out of it.

>> Well, whatever, you're going to have

to wait till we get back from our vacation.

>> What vacation?

Where are you two going?

>> We'll send you a postcard.

>> Hey?

>> I used to write in high school.

>> Isn't that nice.

>> I wonder what made Carbone fall apart like that?

I've never seen anything like it.

>> Oh, just forget about it, let's talk about this vacation.

>> Sounds good to me.

>> Aren't you two forgetting something?

>> Billie, I thought you'd moved on.

>> Well, now that I have a choice I figured

that I'd hang around for a while.

Besides --

>> The money.

>> I thought you might want it for your vacation.

Half a million dollars goes a long way even in the '80s.

>> Thanks, Billie.

>> You mean there really is a ghost.

>> That's what I've been trying to tell you.

Tom, meet Billie.

>> There he goes again.

[ Music ]

>> Just put the other one over here, please?

>> You had enough waves yet, BeeJay?

>> No way, man, I never get enough.

Guys, say hello to Megan and Tabitha,

they're taking me to a luau tonight.

Catch you later, man.

>> Later, BeeJay.

>> I guess that means we get the whole evening to ourselves.

>> Not quite.

[ Music ]