All language subtitles for segundo-quimica

I only wish all of our clients
were such a delight, Alana.

Lovely evening.

Yeah, considering
we spent dinner plotting out

how to spill the blood
of that predatory prick.

Oh, two "p" words in a row.
I'm approaching threshold.

Alana, you do $300 million
a year. You're a target.

Your naughty dreams bra
is a runaway hit.

It was inevitable
somebody was gonna rip it off.

Well-said, Michael.

Win the lawsuit for me, guys.

I want that bastard's balls

shriveling in a small jar
in a hot room.

We'll make this go away, Alana.

Are you staring
at my breasts, Luther?

No, no, just marveling
at the engineering brilliance

of your naughty dreams.

I'm not wearing a bra.

Oh. Brilliant.

Bye, now.

What a good person she is.

Yeah. Other than being

a power-crazed, oversexed,
castrating bitch.

Oversexed?
I didn't know that.

Since she's one
of our biggest clients,

I... Suppose I shouldn't
sleep with her, right?

You shouldn't sleep with her
because she'd snap your dick off

and use it as a cat toy.

Did you see how her nipples
were pointed right at me

when the vichyssoise arrived?

I'm not just imagining things
here, Michael.

They were making direct

eye contact with me
and saying...

"Luther, we're in here,

and we're all alone."

"Yes, we want to come out
and have some fun.

We need a friend."

Oh, my God. Luther!
It's me, Nikki!

Lena, look who's here.

Luther?

You remember us?

Deer valley? Your ski condo?

You own a ski condo?
I did that weekend.

Oh, that's the squirter,
the one I told you about.

Loads of fun.
Loads of laundry.

Luther,

we've got a bar in here and some
nasty DVDs from Iceland.

Come say hi!

Iceland?

Sir, are you Michael Strathmore?

Yes. What's going on?
Sir, you're under arrest.

For what?

Aah.

I have a bench warrant. Do you have an attorney?
I am an attorney.

Now see here, officer!
I can vouch for Mr. Strathmore.

What's the charge?

Sir, you're interfering
with an arresting officer.

Are those girls underage?

Absolutely not.
They're part of a church group.

What's your badge number, officer?

It's okay. I'll handle this, Luther.

Oh. He'll handle it.

"Entertainment tonight" is going to love this.

Down we go. Down the hatch.

And they're really gonna love this.

Oh, Nipple, can you see me?
Nipple, can you hear me?

My second wife never cared
for gambling,

probably 'cause she's too young
to get into the casinos.

Anyway, not to get too deep here
'cause I hate that shit...

It's all a big gamble anyway, isn't it?

I mean, what are the odds

I'm gonna fall in love
with a car show model

and want to to get married
for the eighth time?

Fate is one crazy motherfucker.
It's like I tell Michael...

You spin the wheel,
a ball falls where it may.

Fate could give a fat fuck
what you think.

Before you know it,

we're all wearing heavy makeup
in a box anyway,

so let go of the handlebars.

Why did you blindfold me?
What is this?

What, am I being escorted
to my own murder?

Hey, shut up!

You're in trouble.

A lot of trouble.

Hey, officer, you ever heard
of police brutality?

This brutal enough for you?

I hear lions.

It's just your imagination.

I don't have an imagination.

I'm a lawyer, remember?

Quiet, and I'll do it just...

God, I missed your cock.

You know,
it's been asking about you.

We're at the fucking zoo.

You like it?

Ohh! Great idea, Jane.

Just protecting and serving.

What's your excuse?

I can't stay away from you.

That was killer.

You fought back good.

Got me wet.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

What is it?

I'm good.

You were better a minute ago.

You worry too much.

Tell me I'm wrong.
I'll stop asking.

How old were you when you got
your first kiss?

You got a problem
with the way I kiss?

You can...
you could use some work.

Listen, I gotta get back
on shift, so, um,

let's get outta here.
Just go.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let me out up there.

Why? I'll run you back
to the restaurant

to get your car.

I'll walk.
I feel like getting some air.

You're pissed.

I can tell because

your sentences get clipped
and impersonal.

You never told me I kiss
like a fucking amateur.

I never compared you
to an amateur.

Your lips... Kind of...
kind of weird, that's all.

Everybody's isometrical.

What are you,
head of the genome project?

I don't wanna hear any more.
If I kissed like you, I would want details.

Yeah, well, I'm not you,
for which I am grateful for.

Now pull over.
And where's my pants?

No! You just threw my pants
out the goddamn window!

No, no, that's not funny.
What are you, 12?

Stop the goddamn car!

Jesus.

What, you think
I'm too self-conscious

to walk around
without my pants on?

You think you can control me
through my pants?

What pants?
Oh, go to hell!

Oh, I'm already there.
Don't expect to see me.

Yeah, I'll be laying low
so me and my deformed lips

aren't out in public
scaring children.

Fuck.

I once got into a 4-hour
argument with a anais nin

about fellatio and communism.

She swore she didn't swallow

unless the man gave
to soviet charities.

I told her she was
an extortionist

and that I loved sucking cock.

That's good fucking weed.

They say the measure
of a first-class mind

is the ability to entertain
two opposing thoughts

at the same time.

I think the measure
of a first-class mind

is knowing when to tell someone
to kiss your ass.

People never argue about what
they're arguing about.

It's all just symbolic.

I say cut to the chase,
swallow, and get on with it.

God, I'm gonna be late.

Mm, you didn't sleep last night.

I could hear you
tossing and turning.

You smell like the veld.

We fucked at a zoo.
I've gotta go.

A zoo? Okay, give me
some more details here

so I can burn off
my antidepressants.

It's a kissing problem.
Okay? You happier now?

He accused you of that?

I mean, that's totally insensitive.
No, I accused him.

You don't like
the way he kisses?

You have no future.

Is it like he's licking stamps?

No. He's got
some technique, some subtlety.

I told him it's
the lip alignment problem.

Which was bullshit.
Total.

Hmm. So you're saying
that you're kissing him

better than he's kissing you.

Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

Sometimes the person
who feels most holds back most.

He's a lawyer.
He doesn't know what he feels.

His lips do.

It's true.

It is my absolute conviction
that if we are going to...

mount...

Don't say "mount."

A proper defense for Alana...

Who is the future
of really suggestive underwear

In America...
hereinafter referred to

as "silky Whackoffia"

and assure her
a courtroom victory...

At which time she will become
a billionaire

and my third wife...

You need to have
a more intimate understanding

of her product line.

Blah, blah. You just
like touching that stuff.

What's the matter with you?
You're so pissy this morning.

Hmm, trouble in Copland?

She is sexy, by the way.

She into threesomes...
her, me, the squirter?

I'll bring my own top.

Yeah, you know what she's into?
Hurting my feelings.

She told me I kissed bad.

Really?

No one ever said that
to me before.

Hmm.

It's over between us.

Bad kissing is
the kiss of death.

What's your, um... Style?

What do you mean?

Your kissing style.
Show me.

I've kissed a few women.
I'm objective.

I'm not gonna kiss you.

Oh, come on, Michael.
This is for your own good.

I-I don't derive
any erotic pleasure from it.

All right, take charge.

Do you, uh, tilt left or right?

Right.

Lovely. Oh, very nice cologne,
by the way.

Thank you.
Tongue?

Not right now.
Understood. My lips are yours.

Hmm. One more go.
Need more data.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm, mm, mm.

It was good.

But not great.

No, I feel fulfilled.

You're not just saying that?

Now that we've kissed,
maybe you're...

Afraid to hurt my feelings?

No, I think you're
a very good kisser, Michael.

However, I do have one tip.
If I may.

Yeah.

Ahh.

That was... That was nice.

Mm.
What was that... what was that
thing you were doing?

Suction.

Suction?

Suction.

It's your friend.

Relax. I'm unarmed.

Nice place.

Whatever looks good
is my sister's idea.

She's the one with the taste.

You saying
you don't have taste?

Mm.
I'm the girl with a gun.

Taste isn't my... Strength.

What is?

Going too far.

Look...

I invited you here
to apologize to you...

And your lips...

And maybe later, your cock.

What is it? Do I scare you?

A little.

I feel like
you see right through me.

I just have
intense eye contact.

You have intense...
Everything.

I'm trying to work on that.

Um...

I...

I lied to you
the other night...

What I said about your lips.

When I thought about it, I...

Realized maybe it was me.

Come in, Rita.

I'm not too early, am I?

You must be Michael.

I'm Rita.

What's going on?

Rita's an old friend.

I invited here to give us
some perspective.

You know, like I said,

Maybe it was me.

Ohh!

I still remember
the exact moment that I met Vic

at the auto show.

I was gesturing
at the new Lexus.

No.

That was it.

And he walks past
in his sexy flight jacket,

and he looks just like
val kilmer out of "top gun,"

and he sees me and he says,
"I think I love you."

and then he kisses me.

And I kiss him back.

And then I think, oh, God,
Chantal, what did you just do?

And then I thought, don't stop,
because this is the real thing.

You know why?

You can tell
if it's the real thing

by the way a man kisses you,

and I was so right.

That's real love...

And vacations and eating out
at fabulous restaurants and...

Jewelry... And...

It doesn't hurt that
Vic's hung like King Kong.

Which one do you like better,

country club "a"
or country club "b"?

Whichever one admits Jews.

I'm serious. Stop being
so cavalier and snarky.

I was being uncaring and ironic.

Come on. I need a location
for Pemmie's surprise party.

Pemmie.
Who names a kid Pemburg?

Pemburg is a family name.

We were on the "Mayflower."

Did you have slaves?

Are you gonna help me or not?

That one.
Really?

The other one.
What difference does it make?

It's a goddamn country club...
lot of white-haired guys

walking around in plaid pants
and bow ties.

What is going on with you, Michael?

You are like a different person
since that accident.

I'm that close to death,
all bets are off.

Is that what we are... a bet?

Because
if that's what we are...

We're winning.

Just remember, there's nothing
that you can't tell me.

We're engaged.

Michael, they're playing our song.

Oh, yeah.

Dance with me.

Come on. Right here
in the street. Let's do it.

Oh, we are insane.

Penny for your thoughts.

Yeah, looks like our man.
Let's grab him.

That's no fun.
Let's just chase him a little.

Come on.

No. No. I know that look.
Oh, you're on edge.

Promise me you're not gonna go
all Charlie Sheen again.

Last thing you need
is another suspension.

I'm just messing with ya.

Come on.
Give me a little credit.

I can't, especially when

your boyfriend hasn't
called you in three days.

I haven't called him either,

And he's not my boyfriend.
He's just a random citizen.

Really? I thought you two
were hot and heavy.

No big deal.

Mm-hmm, flash him.

Be right back.

Aah! Aah!

Afternoon, motherfucker,

and welcome to the world
of law-abiding citizens.

What's this about, officer?

Little thing we like to call breaking
and entering. What?! Yeah.

Comfy back there?

Very nice, thank you.

Look, maybe you guys
are just too much alike.

I mean, the last person you wanna get
in the ring with is yourself, right?

Really? Is that
your psychology degree

Hanging over the rearview, Preston?

Madame, I am an acute observer
of the human condition,

especially yours.

One thing I know about you, Liz...
Nothing you can't solve.

Up until now.

This guy really got to you.

As much as I got to him.

Anyway, there's other fish
in the sea.

Oh, I beg to differ.
Shut up back there.

Hey, Pelon, I know
what I'm talking about.

Leave me alone. You should write
this down, sweetheart.

You're far too pretty.

Listen to me.
I don't give a mad fuck

what kind of pole or bait
you use,

if you're poor
or if you're rich.

You're gonna catch the fish
you're supposed to catch.

Вїme entiendes?

Oh, load number five.

Oh, why must I always go
for the freaky chicks?

Luther!
The straps are too tight.

Load number six.

Michael?

Kiss me.

I thought you didn't like
the way I kiss.

It's not that. It's just,
I wasn't sure you meant it.

I didn't realize
it mattered to you.

I didn't either.

Mmm.