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1
00:00:08,618 --> 00:00:10,243
- Morning, Dad.
- Good morning.
2
00:00:10,454 --> 00:00:13,290
Guess what I made.
Like old times, huh?
3
00:00:13,541 --> 00:00:15,084
You. Me. Toast.
4
00:00:15,335 --> 00:00:17,412
Yeah, we were inseparable.
5
00:00:17,672 --> 00:00:20,342
So, darling, you wait here,
6
00:00:20,551 --> 00:00:22,675
I'll go butter this up for you reaI nice.
7
00:00:22,887 --> 00:00:24,964
Give me 15 minutes.
8
00:00:26,017 --> 00:00:28,224
I'm sorry, Dad,
I cannot be late for work.
9
00:00:28,437 --> 00:00:29,848
I'm new there, remember?
10
00:00:30,106 --> 00:00:34,900
Oh, Miss Big-DeaI-LegaI-Secretary,
works in Manhattan now.
11
00:00:35,112 --> 00:00:37,783
You know what toast costs
over there now? Ten dollars.
12
00:00:38,826 --> 00:00:41,068
And if you don't tip, they spit in it.
13
00:00:42,164 --> 00:00:43,279
Then I'll tip.
14
00:00:43,499 --> 00:00:45,291
I'm just gonna have some coffee.
15
00:00:45,543 --> 00:00:47,418
- Hey, slugger, check it out.
- What's that?
16
00:00:47,671 --> 00:00:50,210
It's your new mitt. I broke it in
for the softball game tonight.
17
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:51,836
Actually, it happened by accident.
18
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:54,930
I fell asleep on it.
19
00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,432
Honey, you're gonna kill me,
I can't make it.
20
00:00:57,643 --> 00:00:59,304
My boss has a really big triaI
coming up,
21
00:00:59,521 --> 00:01:01,099
and he wants me
to stay late tonight.
22
00:01:01,356 --> 00:01:02,471
No, we need you at the game.
23
00:01:02,692 --> 00:01:05,148
Come on, none of the guys
can curse as good as you.
24
00:01:05,362 --> 00:01:06,691
Honey, I know.
25
00:01:06,906 --> 00:01:10,240
But I will be at next week's game,
with a lot of new mother references.
26
00:01:10,452 --> 00:01:13,240
Really hurtfuI, uncalled-for stuff,
all right?
27
00:01:13,832 --> 00:01:15,825
- Okay.
- All right. Bye.
28
00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:18,167
Bye, Daddy. Dad?
29
00:01:18,588 --> 00:01:21,756
Oh, sorry. I was just remembering
a little girI with pigtails
30
00:01:21,968 --> 00:01:23,926
and braces on her teeth, telling me,
31
00:01:24,179 --> 00:01:25,460
"I made the bestest toast ever. "
32
00:01:25,681 --> 00:01:28,600
All right, just give me the freaking
toast. Okay? Thank you. Bye.
33
00:01:44,624 --> 00:01:46,083
Will you forget about it? It's over.
34
00:01:46,292 --> 00:01:48,582
Man, I thought if there was one team
we'd beat this year,
35
00:01:48,796 --> 00:01:50,670
it'd be Crabtree & Evelyn.
36
00:01:51,717 --> 00:01:53,461
Well, this guy didn't
help matters much.
37
00:01:53,678 --> 00:01:55,885
Hey, what-?
What do you guys want from me?
38
00:01:56,139 --> 00:02:00,090
You know, I'm allergic to dirt,
grass, bases and Gatorade.
39
00:02:00,312 --> 00:02:03,017
You guys are lucky I'm alive.
40
00:02:03,316 --> 00:02:05,605
Look, look, let's just all agree
we all sucked tonight.
41
00:02:05,861 --> 00:02:08,946
- Hey, I'm in.
- Yeah, we'll kick some ass next week.
42
00:02:09,157 --> 00:02:10,700
Who we playing, Moose?
43
00:02:13,454 --> 00:02:15,329
- City Tech.
- Who's that?
44
00:02:15,582 --> 00:02:16,662
Female security guards.
45
00:02:20,088 --> 00:02:21,287
Hey, Doug.
46
00:02:21,507 --> 00:02:24,213
Some guy in a really nice car
just pulled into your driveway.
47
00:02:24,469 --> 00:02:26,842
- Yeah, it's called a U-turn.
- No, I don't think so.
48
00:02:27,056 --> 00:02:29,513
- Your wife's getting out.
- Really?
49
00:02:29,768 --> 00:02:32,094
Oh, that's a Jaguar
she's stepping out of, my friend.
50
00:02:32,355 --> 00:02:34,183
XJ8. Top of the line.
51
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,808
Yeah, I test-drove
one of those babies.
52
00:02:37,070 --> 00:02:39,609
And yet, you went
with the '82 Corolla.
53
00:02:41,534 --> 00:02:44,869
Hey, Doug, it's pretty damn nice of you,
letting Carrie date other guys and all.
54
00:02:45,122 --> 00:02:46,997
Yeah, you're very funny.
Very funny.
55
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:50,336
All right, come on,
back to your assigned seats. Let's go.
56
00:02:52,508 --> 00:02:55,379
GirI in the clubhouse.
You guys had your cootie shots?
57
00:02:55,637 --> 00:02:57,262
- Yeah, right.
- Hi. How was the game?
58
00:02:57,473 --> 00:02:59,181
Oh, everyone sucked, not just me.
59
00:02:59,434 --> 00:03:00,430
Good for you, Spence.
60
00:03:01,395 --> 00:03:02,937
So did you have a good day?
61
00:03:03,147 --> 00:03:05,935
Honey, great day.
62
00:03:06,151 --> 00:03:09,568
What, did you get some kind of, like,
a lift home or something?
63
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:12,279
Yeah, from Evan, my boss.
In a Jaguar.
64
00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:14,451
Honey, you should get me
one of those.
65
00:03:15,873 --> 00:03:17,533
I'll see you upstairs. Bye, guys.
66
00:03:17,750 --> 00:03:19,578
- See you later, Carrie.
- All right.
67
00:03:25,511 --> 00:03:30,481
Well, sounds like she's got
a nice boss, you know?
68
00:03:30,518 --> 00:03:34,219
That's a good thing,
because a lot of bosses, not nice.
69
00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,525
You know, a lot of
not-nice bosses out there.
70
00:03:37,777 --> 00:03:40,982
I say given the choice between
not nice, nice, it's always better-
71
00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:43,281
Stop the staring!
72
00:03:50,002 --> 00:03:51,248
- Hey.
- Hey, help me out.
73
00:03:51,463 --> 00:03:53,207
I have to be in court with Evan.
What do you think?
74
00:03:53,465 --> 00:03:55,257
This or this?
75
00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:57,213
I like them both.
76
00:03:57,429 --> 00:03:59,387
They both suck.
77
00:04:00,391 --> 00:04:03,643
Honey, the women in Manhattan dress
so nice, I look like I'm from Arkansas.
78
00:04:05,315 --> 00:04:06,940
Oh, guess what.
79
00:04:07,192 --> 00:04:10,728
There's this really famous cello player
from China, Li Fong something.
80
00:04:10,989 --> 00:04:13,279
Anyway, he's throwing a big concert
next week in the city,
81
00:04:13,493 --> 00:04:17,824
and the firm got all these tickets,
and Evan gave his to me.
82
00:04:18,082 --> 00:04:20,491
So if you play your cards right,
I'll let you go with me.
83
00:04:20,752 --> 00:04:22,876
There's always room for cello.
84
00:04:26,010 --> 00:04:28,383
You call him Evan, huh?
85
00:04:28,596 --> 00:04:31,135
Your boss. You just call him Evan?
86
00:04:31,350 --> 00:04:32,549
Well, that's his name.
87
00:04:32,769 --> 00:04:34,727
No, no, I know, I know. I mean...
88
00:04:34,980 --> 00:04:37,306
It's just that, you know,
my boss has been there six years,
89
00:04:37,525 --> 00:04:40,100
and it's still "Supervisor O'Boyle. "
90
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:46,495
So you just walk around all day
calling each other Evan.
91
00:04:46,913 --> 00:04:50,283
Well, he doesn't call me Evan.
We'd get a little confused.
92
00:04:50,793 --> 00:04:52,537
I know, I know, I know.
I just- You know.
93
00:04:52,754 --> 00:04:54,463
Anyway, sounds like
a great guy, right?
94
00:04:54,674 --> 00:04:56,466
I mean, partner in
a big New York law firm,
95
00:04:56,676 --> 00:04:58,753
giving his secretary free tickets,
96
00:04:58,971 --> 00:05:02,970
driving her all the way home to Queens
in his fancy Jaguar.
97
00:05:03,227 --> 00:05:04,805
You don't see a lot of that.
98
00:05:05,230 --> 00:05:06,605
Honey, if he didn't drive me home,
99
00:05:06,815 --> 00:05:09,734
how else would we have sex
in his car?
100
00:05:13,658 --> 00:05:14,689
That's not funny.
101
00:05:16,119 --> 00:05:17,911
Come on, you're being stupid.
102
00:05:18,122 --> 00:05:20,080
He's just being a nice guy.
103
00:05:20,292 --> 00:05:22,748
Oh, so he's just being nice, then.
104
00:05:22,962 --> 00:05:25,419
Did he give the cleaning guy
a ride home too?
105
00:05:26,592 --> 00:05:27,873
- No.
- No.
106
00:05:28,094 --> 00:05:31,630
So, now, is he nice or not nice?
I'm a little confused here.
107
00:05:32,475 --> 00:05:34,765
He lives on the Island,
we're on his way.
108
00:05:34,978 --> 00:05:37,186
- What, you don't trust me?
- Of course I trust you.
109
00:05:37,398 --> 00:05:41,611
It's just, you don't really know
this Evan guy, or how he operates.
110
00:05:41,863 --> 00:05:43,239
"Oh, Miss Heffernan,
111
00:05:43,448 --> 00:05:46,367
can you work late with me tonight
on this big legaI case?
112
00:05:46,578 --> 00:05:49,248
I spilled Liquid Paper
all over your blouse.
113
00:05:49,456 --> 00:05:54,286
Why don't you shimmy it off,
and I'll wash it. "
114
00:05:58,093 --> 00:05:59,636
That's a really lame fantasy.
115
00:05:59,846 --> 00:06:02,516
You gotta start watching
more porno.
116
00:06:03,392 --> 00:06:05,220
- You know what I mean.
- What? Come on, honey.
117
00:06:05,436 --> 00:06:07,229
He's just being a nice guy.
118
00:06:07,439 --> 00:06:10,110
Now, listen, I have a really great job,
and it's going well.
119
00:06:10,318 --> 00:06:12,146
And I want you to be happy for me,
all right?
120
00:06:13,197 --> 00:06:14,941
All right. All right.
You know, I'm sorry.
121
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,359
It's okay. It's all right.
122
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:20,948
I'm gonna go wash up.
I'll meet you in bed, okay, Evan?
123
00:06:36,395 --> 00:06:37,973
Excuse me.
124
00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:44,690
Hey. Hi. I'm trying to find
Carrie Heffernan.
125
00:06:44,949 --> 00:06:46,609
Oh, she's in Mr Lazar's office.
126
00:06:47,202 --> 00:06:48,696
I thought everyone called him Evan.
127
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:05,727
Doug!
Honey, what are you doing here?
128
00:07:05,935 --> 00:07:07,976
I felt bad about being such an idiot
last night.
129
00:07:08,188 --> 00:07:10,680
I thought I'd drive in and see
if you wanna have some lunch.
130
00:07:10,942 --> 00:07:13,695
Oh, my God, that is so sweet.
Of course I do.
131
00:07:13,905 --> 00:07:16,397
Oh, look, honey! This is my desk.
132
00:07:16,658 --> 00:07:17,773
It's pretty swanky, huh?
133
00:07:18,411 --> 00:07:21,247
I like it. Oh, look at this.
I even got you something for it.
134
00:07:22,082 --> 00:07:24,408
"World's Greatest Golfer. "
135
00:07:24,669 --> 00:07:27,078
That's all they had in the gift shop
downstairs.
136
00:07:27,340 --> 00:07:29,416
No, no, no, it's good.
Now I have a goaI, right?
137
00:07:29,801 --> 00:07:31,344
Honey, this is so sweet of you.
138
00:07:31,554 --> 00:07:33,214
I'll make a quick copy,
then we can go.
139
00:07:33,473 --> 00:07:36,047
- All right, I'll grab the elevator.
- Okay, honey.
140
00:07:52,290 --> 00:07:53,701
Hey.
141
00:07:54,084 --> 00:07:55,496
Hello.
142
00:07:56,629 --> 00:08:00,046
I couldn't help noticing that woman
in there in your office with you.
143
00:08:00,259 --> 00:08:01,588
Is she your assistant?
144
00:08:01,803 --> 00:08:04,129
- Yes. Yes, she is.
- Yeah.
145
00:08:04,599 --> 00:08:06,675
She's quite a looker.
146
00:08:07,728 --> 00:08:09,851
I suppose, yeah.
147
00:08:10,648 --> 00:08:12,392
- She married?
- Yes.
148
00:08:12,609 --> 00:08:14,650
I hate that! Hate it.
149
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,143
But you know what?
A guy like you,
150
00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:19,117
you probably don't even worry
about that kind of thing, huh?
151
00:08:19,577 --> 00:08:21,903
- So, what are you getting at?
- I'm just saying, you know,
152
00:08:22,122 --> 00:08:24,793
working with her every day,
you gotta be thinking about a little:
153
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,917
Hello, Montana!
154
00:08:27,672 --> 00:08:28,870
- Yeah!
- Now, now, now, listen.
155
00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:30,918
No, come on, truth now.
You gonna go for it?
156
00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:33,673
You're gonna go for it, my man!
Come on.
157
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:34,926
All right, that is enough!
158
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:37,014
That woman is a fine employee
and a good person.
159
00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:39,599
She deserves better
than to be objectified and leered at
160
00:08:39,813 --> 00:08:41,438
by someone like you.
161
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:46,398
I just wish her husband was here
to punch your face in.
162
00:08:58,422 --> 00:09:00,214
Moose.
163
00:09:02,052 --> 00:09:03,546
Moose.
164
00:09:04,555 --> 00:09:06,347
I'm hungry.
165
00:09:07,601 --> 00:09:10,057
Who am I, your mother?
Go inside and make a sandwich.
166
00:09:10,313 --> 00:09:12,306
It's too far.
167
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:17,236
I wish the TV were made of cheese.
168
00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:19,568
You know, that's actually possible.
169
00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:21,237
- Get out of here.
- It is.
170
00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:24,165
I mean, you couldn't make it
out of Brie.
171
00:09:24,916 --> 00:09:26,115
But, like, a harder cheese,
172
00:09:26,335 --> 00:09:29,290
like a Stilton
or an aged Gorgonzola.
173
00:09:29,506 --> 00:09:31,416
Absolutely.
174
00:09:32,677 --> 00:09:34,836
Could you make a VCR
out of crackers?
175
00:09:35,097 --> 00:09:36,722
For God's sake,
you're missing the point.
176
00:09:36,932 --> 00:09:39,258
If you went to the trouble
of making a TV out of cheese,
177
00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:41,270
you'd have to make a commitment
not to eat it.
178
00:09:41,522 --> 00:09:44,939
Then why would you make it
out of cheese in the first place?
179
00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:48,526
I can't talk to you.
180
00:09:49,324 --> 00:09:50,439
What do you think, Deac?
181
00:09:50,659 --> 00:09:55,703
I think, why am I here
instead of with my wife and child?
182
00:09:57,127 --> 00:10:00,164
And here comes the Jag,
right on schedule.
183
00:10:00,381 --> 00:10:02,505
Oh, looks like Evan got it detailed.
184
00:10:02,717 --> 00:10:04,212
All right. Come on, guys.
185
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:07,674
Did he get a haircut? I like it.
186
00:10:07,891 --> 00:10:10,300
I'm not sure.
I think he just put something in it.
187
00:10:10,561 --> 00:10:13,647
- I think he's using mousse, Moose.
- All right, you know what? It's agreed.
188
00:10:13,858 --> 00:10:16,266
He's got a beautifuI car
and a fine head of hair, all right?
189
00:10:16,486 --> 00:10:17,897
Get away from the window, will you?
190
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,951
Why do you have to spoiI
the one new thing in our life?
191
00:10:21,368 --> 00:10:23,694
Yeah, man, you've been
in a funky mood all night.
192
00:10:23,913 --> 00:10:27,251
If you're still worried about Carrie
and her boss, just talk to her about it.
193
00:10:27,287 --> 00:10:28,580
I'm not worried about that.
194
00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:30,461
I met Evan today,
and trust me, he's fine.
195
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:32,548
- How do you know?
- I know.
196
00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:36,971
I practically begged him
to have sex with her, and nothing.
197
00:10:37,348 --> 00:10:38,724
What are you all wound up about?
198
00:10:38,975 --> 00:10:40,719
I don't know. I don't know.
199
00:10:40,978 --> 00:10:43,102
- Hey, guys. Hi!
- Hey. Hi!
200
00:10:43,356 --> 00:10:45,314
Honey, don't forget,
cello concert tomorrow night.
201
00:10:45,526 --> 00:10:47,852
- You excited?
- Oh, I am. I-
202
00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:50,239
- I'll see you upstairs.
- Love you.
203
00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:51,564
- Bye, guys.
- Okay. Bye-bye.
204
00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:53,991
What is wrong with me?
205
00:10:54,204 --> 00:10:55,580
I should be happy, you know?
206
00:10:55,790 --> 00:10:59,160
I mean, Carrie's got a great new job,
her boss is not hitting on her,
207
00:10:59,378 --> 00:11:01,336
but still there is something
that's bothering me,
208
00:11:01,547 --> 00:11:03,339
and I can't figure out what it is.
209
00:11:03,592 --> 00:11:05,550
Perhaps it's this:
210
00:11:05,970 --> 00:11:07,762
Perhaps you wish
that your originaI suspicions
211
00:11:07,973 --> 00:11:09,136
had been confirmed.
212
00:11:09,475 --> 00:11:11,967
If this Evan was just some creep
hitting on your wife,
213
00:11:12,187 --> 00:11:13,765
you could've done something
about that.
214
00:11:13,981 --> 00:11:18,312
But now what you're faced with
is a more complex problem.
215
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:22,613
You're realizing that Carrie
is immersed in a seductive world
216
00:11:22,826 --> 00:11:24,405
full of bright, dynamic people,
217
00:11:24,620 --> 00:11:28,489
a world you can't
possibly compete with.
218
00:11:28,876 --> 00:11:32,543
And that frightens the hell
out of you.
219
00:11:33,674 --> 00:11:35,584
Yeah, that's it.
220
00:11:40,225 --> 00:11:41,601
Li Fong...
221
00:11:47,819 --> 00:11:50,821
Honey, honey.
How do you pronounce X-I-A-U-A?
222
00:11:51,031 --> 00:11:52,906
- What are you doing?
- I'm trying to figure out
223
00:11:53,118 --> 00:11:56,702
how to say this guy's name so I don't
sound like such a mook at the concert.
224
00:11:56,914 --> 00:12:00,581
"Hey, this guy on the cello's
pretty good over here. " You know?
225
00:12:01,212 --> 00:12:04,878
Before you hurt yourself there,
I wanted to talk to you about that.
226
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:07,169
I'm thinking, you know,
227
00:12:07,387 --> 00:12:10,223
maybe we need to take a pass
on this cello thing.
228
00:12:10,433 --> 00:12:12,391
What? What are you talking about?
229
00:12:12,602 --> 00:12:14,726
Well, for starters,
we'll be missing a softball game.
230
00:12:14,939 --> 00:12:17,312
- So it's one game, hon.
- Plus the one you already missed.
231
00:12:17,526 --> 00:12:19,934
I mean, people on the team,
they're starting to grumble.
232
00:12:20,154 --> 00:12:24,367
There's a whole lot of internaI politics
I've been shielding you from.
233
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:28,200
All right, honey, what is your problem?
Are you still on the Evan thing?
234
00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:30,451
No, it's not about Evan.
235
00:12:30,669 --> 00:12:31,784
It's about you, you know?
236
00:12:32,004 --> 00:12:34,412
Since you got this new job,
I think it's gone to your head.
237
00:12:34,674 --> 00:12:37,131
- What? Shut up.
- Come on, think about it.
238
00:12:37,344 --> 00:12:40,180
First, you didn't want to eat
your father's toast.
239
00:12:41,809 --> 00:12:43,849
Right? Then your clothes
aren't good enough for you.
240
00:12:44,062 --> 00:12:45,854
Now it's this weird obsession
with the cello.
241
00:12:46,065 --> 00:12:47,725
I mean, what's next, bottled water?
242
00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,692
Tea?
243
00:12:50,112 --> 00:12:51,143
Okay, you know what, honey?
244
00:12:51,363 --> 00:12:52,942
You gotta spend less time
in the garage.
245
00:12:53,158 --> 00:12:55,032
Between the fumes
and those friends of yours,
246
00:12:55,244 --> 00:12:57,736
you're losing brain cells.
247
00:12:57,997 --> 00:12:59,623
Come on.
We both know what this is about.
248
00:12:59,833 --> 00:13:02,159
You're trying to impress
your little fancy friends at work.
249
00:13:02,378 --> 00:13:06,627
"Oh, I saw a guy play the cello.
Accept me as one of your own. "
250
00:13:07,844 --> 00:13:10,301
Maybe I like listening to cello music,
all right?
251
00:13:10,514 --> 00:13:12,140
- You ever think of that?
- Yeah, okay.
252
00:13:12,350 --> 00:13:15,138
- What's your favourite cello song?
- Okay, let me think.
253
00:13:15,354 --> 00:13:17,348
How about "Bite Me"?
254
00:13:18,609 --> 00:13:20,436
That is so not a song.
255
00:13:20,695 --> 00:13:22,439
Well, you are being such an idiot.
256
00:13:22,698 --> 00:13:24,656
At least I'm an idiot
who fulfils his commitment
257
00:13:24,867 --> 00:13:27,359
to the Queens County LeveI C
co-ed slow-pitch softball league.
258
00:13:27,579 --> 00:13:29,489
And now we're playing softball
tomorrow night.
259
00:13:29,749 --> 00:13:31,908
No, you will be playing softball
tomorrow.
260
00:13:32,127 --> 00:13:33,622
I will be doing something I enjoy,
261
00:13:33,838 --> 00:13:37,006
which is listening to the music
of the world's greatest cellist,
262
00:13:37,259 --> 00:13:39,965
Li Fong...
263
00:13:40,180 --> 00:13:41,675
I don't know!
264
00:13:42,767 --> 00:13:47,264
Yeah, well, say it, don't spray it.
265
00:14:01,792 --> 00:14:03,287
How you doing?
266
00:14:06,466 --> 00:14:07,545
What's that you're wearing?
267
00:14:10,805 --> 00:14:11,836
Softball uniform.
268
00:14:13,517 --> 00:14:15,557
Just more comfortable?
269
00:14:17,939 --> 00:14:18,971
Playing softball.
270
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,977
Oh, that worked out well.
271
00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:23,815
Where's Carrie?
272
00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:26,523
She went to a cello concert.
273
00:14:26,785 --> 00:14:28,862
Oh, fancy.
274
00:14:31,207 --> 00:14:33,367
Listen, Arthur,
can I ask you a question?
275
00:14:34,212 --> 00:14:35,790
Sure.
276
00:14:36,047 --> 00:14:37,626
All right, now be honest.
277
00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:40,210
When I first married Carrie,
278
00:14:40,428 --> 00:14:44,262
was there a small part of you
that felt that maybe, I don't know,
279
00:14:44,476 --> 00:14:46,849
that I wasn't good enough for her?
280
00:14:47,271 --> 00:14:50,308
Hey, it was a wedding.
I'd had a few drinks.
281
00:14:50,525 --> 00:14:53,611
When I said those things, I had no
idea I was speaking to your mother.
282
00:14:53,822 --> 00:14:55,649
- No, I know, I just-
- She was nodding.
283
00:14:55,866 --> 00:14:57,444
Agreeing with me, for God's sakes!
284
00:14:57,660 --> 00:14:59,618
How could I know?
285
00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:03,580
Arthur, I'm just...
286
00:15:03,793 --> 00:15:05,074
Really? My mother?
287
00:15:05,337 --> 00:15:06,797
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
288
00:15:07,006 --> 00:15:08,715
Bosomy woman, right?
289
00:15:32,082 --> 00:15:33,791
Excuse me. I'm down there.
290
00:15:45,267 --> 00:15:47,723
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?
291
00:15:48,354 --> 00:15:51,689
Car, listen, I've been doing
a lot of thinking, and you know what?
292
00:15:51,901 --> 00:15:54,819
If this is something you wanna try,
I'm with you.
293
00:15:55,072 --> 00:15:56,317
Really? You really mean that?
294
00:15:56,574 --> 00:15:59,911
I do, I do. If we like it, we like it.
If we don't, we don't.
295
00:15:59,948 --> 00:16:01,490
I'm betting we will.
296
00:16:03,291 --> 00:16:05,961
Well, okay.
297
00:16:06,128 --> 00:16:07,706
Thank you.
298
00:16:09,132 --> 00:16:11,671
Oh, here we go.
299
00:16:11,886 --> 00:16:15,588
Okay, all right. Stop.
300
00:16:33,415 --> 00:16:35,243
Should I get the car?
301
00:16:37,087 --> 00:16:38,630
No.
302
00:16:40,341 --> 00:16:43,676
Car, if we leave now, we can still
make it by the third inning. Come on.
303
00:16:43,930 --> 00:16:45,840
Doug, I don't wanna leave.
304
00:16:46,350 --> 00:16:48,924
Come on,
you can't possibly be liking this.
305
00:16:51,398 --> 00:16:54,151
You can't possibly be liking this.
Who are you kidding?
306
00:16:54,402 --> 00:16:55,731
Oh, yes, I am.
307
00:16:55,988 --> 00:16:59,192
Oh, yeah. This? Oh, this is great.
308
00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:05,206
Oh, this is so wonderful.
309
00:17:05,417 --> 00:17:07,576
Come on.
310
00:17:08,254 --> 00:17:12,419
I swear to God, I will smack you.
311
00:17:16,516 --> 00:17:19,802
Will you stop?
You're embarrassing me.
312
00:17:20,062 --> 00:17:21,937
I'm embarrassing you?
I'm embarrassing you?
313
00:17:22,148 --> 00:17:25,601
You know what?
You're embarrassing me.
314
00:17:25,862 --> 00:17:27,237
Are you insane?
315
00:17:27,489 --> 00:17:29,149
Come on.
You can't possibly be liking this.
316
00:17:29,366 --> 00:17:31,905
Tell me, what is so great about this?
What is so great about it?
317
00:17:32,162 --> 00:17:33,822
Shut up.
318
00:17:47,516 --> 00:17:50,008
I'm sorry.
319
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,186
Carrie, I'm sorry.
320
00:17:54,901 --> 00:17:57,227
I love you.
321
00:18:00,117 --> 00:18:06,656
You can stay or you can leave,
I don't care, but just shut up.
322
00:19:28,904 --> 00:19:32,155
Encore! Encore!
323
00:19:43,340 --> 00:19:45,547
Doug, are you coming, or what?
324
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,255
I don't wanna come.
325
00:19:47,513 --> 00:19:51,097
I wanna sit here and keep thinking
about what an idiot I've been.
326
00:19:51,351 --> 00:19:52,976
Well, then I'd give you
another few hours,
327
00:19:53,187 --> 00:19:55,061
but they're closing
the parking garage.
328
00:19:56,525 --> 00:19:59,361
So, what happened to you
tonight, Doug?
329
00:19:59,571 --> 00:20:01,730
What made you lose your mind?
330
00:20:04,035 --> 00:20:06,408
You've been so wrapped up
in this new job of yours,
331
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:09,292
with your great new boss
and these great people
332
00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:11,328
and all this culture stuff.
333
00:20:12,046 --> 00:20:13,541
I don't know, I just got to wondering,
334
00:20:13,757 --> 00:20:15,964
you know, why you'd ever want
to come home to me.
335
00:20:18,722 --> 00:20:21,296
- What?
- No, it's just, you know,
336
00:20:21,517 --> 00:20:23,261
you make a good point.
337
00:20:24,354 --> 00:20:27,107
- Thanks.
- Well, what the hell is wrong with you?
338
00:20:27,317 --> 00:20:30,485
You think because I take a job
on the other side of the river
339
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:32,239
and go to a frigging cello concert,
340
00:20:32,449 --> 00:20:34,407
I'm not gonna want
to be married to you anymore?
341
00:20:34,660 --> 00:20:36,950
No, no, it goes back further
than that.
342
00:20:37,163 --> 00:20:38,623
At our wedding,
when the priest said,
343
00:20:38,832 --> 00:20:41,040
"Do you take this man
to be your lawfuI wedded husband,"
344
00:20:41,252 --> 00:20:42,795
and you said, "Yes,"
345
00:20:43,005 --> 00:20:45,675
I gotta be honest,
I thought you settled.
346
00:20:45,884 --> 00:20:48,340
- All right, this is ridiculous.
- It's not ridiculous.
347
00:20:48,554 --> 00:20:51,509
In case you haven't noticed here,
there's a little bit of difference.
348
00:20:51,725 --> 00:20:53,006
You, smart and sexy.
349
00:20:53,227 --> 00:20:55,470
Me, not that smart.
350
00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:58,015
Not that sexy.
351
00:20:58,734 --> 00:21:01,405
Well, if you're so undesirable,
352
00:21:01,613 --> 00:21:04,699
how come I think about you
in the middle of a meeting at work?
353
00:21:04,951 --> 00:21:07,408
And how come
you still make me laugh
354
00:21:07,621 --> 00:21:11,870
after you tell the same dumb joke
for the third time?
355
00:21:12,128 --> 00:21:14,833
And how come I can't sleep
untiI I know you're Iying next to me?
356
00:21:16,050 --> 00:21:17,461
Really, you can't?
357
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,298
No.
358
00:21:20,514 --> 00:21:22,638
Then why do you scream
when I touch you?
359
00:21:23,059 --> 00:21:25,266
Because I'm sleeping. I'm startled.
360
00:21:26,606 --> 00:21:27,887
I love you.
361
00:21:29,610 --> 00:21:31,686
I love you too.
362
00:21:35,326 --> 00:21:37,782
- So, what did you think of the concert?
- I liked it.
363
00:21:37,996 --> 00:21:39,539
Get out of here. You did not.
364
00:21:39,748 --> 00:21:43,249
I did too.
It was long, but it was good.
365
00:21:43,587 --> 00:21:45,296
It was long.
366
00:21:45,506 --> 00:21:47,583
God, it was long.
367
00:21:51,765 --> 00:21:53,723
Hey, Bernstein!
368
00:21:53,934 --> 00:21:56,094
Your mother's a ****!
369
00:21:56,354 --> 00:21:58,763
And she likes to **** for $2!
370
00:21:59,025 --> 00:22:02,609
And you pitch like you got
a **** up your ****!
371
00:22:07,578 --> 00:22:09,322
I love you.
28748
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