Original subtitles

Welcome, everyone!

We are here to celebrate all of you!

Because our parents said we don't appreciate them.

So, welcome to the first-ever Farmy Awards!

- Awards? Those fix everything!

-The first award is for the Best Couch Sitter.

-Ooh! This could be anybody!

-And the Farmy goes to... Thunk!

- Woo!

I wanna thank everyone who made this possible!

Couch, window, and, of course, me. Mwah!

-Next, the Farmy for Coolest Human

- goes to...

Guy! - Wow!

-: Phil was robbed!

He's cooler than a morning breeze!

- First, I'd like to thank...

-Wrap it up, Bare Back!

- In conclusion, thanks.

-Next, the Farmy for Best Ambush goes to...

- Sandy, of course.

- I don't need some award.

-Exactly. We're above this.

-And the award for Best Mom On The Farm goes to...

-Hope and Ugga! It's a tie!

- We won!

I'm too excited to speak!

-I love everyone! Best night ever!

- But it's daytime. - And the Farmy Award

for being the hairiest goes to...

my dad!

- Oh! No!

- Oh wow!

I-I've always had hair, and today, it finally paid off.

This is for hair everywhere!

-That's it. I'm moving.

- Breathe in elation.

- Breathe out frustration.

Ugga?

Where do you think I should put my Farmy?

-Grug, we're breathing.

-Oh, right. Sorry.

Should I put it by the bed

or next to the window? Oh.

- Right. Breathing.

- Maybe in the dining room.

That way, everyone can think about my hair while they eat.

-Look, Grug, awards are nice.

-Especially ours

because we earned and truly deserve them.

-But you can't let them go to your head.

- It's really not a big deal. - You're right.

It's the biggest deal ever!

I'm the best at being hairy!

-Well, you're lucky these awards didn't happen when we were younger.

If they had, Phil would have won.

No. Way.

-Hard to believe, huh?

I could grow a beard like that.

-No. You can grow a beard like that.

-Yeah, but I could grow a big beard.

-Please don't. I like seeing your handsome face.

-Oh, yeah? Well, I'm gonna cover it.

- With a big beard! Dad,

you're gonna grow a big beard? How?

-Uh, with my face. Why don't any of you know how beards work?

-I know how beards work!

And I know not everyone can grow a beard.

Whoa. We're saying beards so much, it sounds weird.

Beard. Beard.

- Beard, beard, beard, beard... Ow!

Thanks, Gran. I was caught in a beard loop.

-Happens. And Other Girl's right.

Not everyone can grow a beard.

Like Baby Face and Tender Cheeks there.

-Aw, thanks. Wait.

Who's Baby Face and who's Tender Cheeks?

-Ooh! Can I be Baby Face?

No! Wait. Tender Cheeks. Ah! I don't know who to be!

-Enough! I'm growing a beard, and that's that!

-Thanks for inspiring this beard-venture, Hope.

- Appreciate it.

Come on, face.

You can do this. Grow.

Aw.

Maybe you need a little help.

-You came to the right place for hair help, Dad.

Beards are hair, and we have a lot of hair.

But you know who has even more?

- Chunky?

-Yup. And his secret might be what he eats.

-Bones and fear?

-What? No. Meat parts and veggies.

-If it'll boost my beard, I'm in!

- Uh...

-You can really taste the meat parts!

-Uh...

-I ate so many meat parts.

-I feel like I ate a whole meat.

-You were wise to come to me for a beard boost, Grug.

Even though I've never actually grown a beard.

Because why would you wanna hide a face like this?

Anywho...

The trick to growing hair is pretty simple.

-Blood flow makes the whiskers grow!

I learned that when I had to hang upside down

to avoid some alligoaters, who were no slouches

in the face whisker department themselves.

- Sounds dumb.

Yeah, already getting a headache.

How long do I have to do this?

-Not long. Couple of days. A week, tops.

Wait, are you talking about avoiding alligoaters

or growing hair? Grug?

- Grug!

Are you okay?! Talk to me!

-: Oh. I'm fine.

- And, yes, I'd love to dance. - Huh? Whoa!

I'm worried about you, but I also love dancing, so...

mixed emotions.

A-are you sure about this?

-Of course, I'm sure!

Growing a beard is like any other kind of growing.

Now pipe down!

I gotta add a bunch more stuff to feed your roots.

- I-I can feel it working!

Or smell it working, at least.

Thanks for doing this, Gran.

I know we've had our differences,

so your help means a lot to me.

Gran? Gran?

-Oh, hey, Dad! What's up? Or down, since you're down there.

-Gran's helping me grow a beard.

-Really?! That's great

'cause it looks like

Gran buried you in garbage.

-Ah!

I don't get it. I hung upside down.

I ate cat food. I got buried in garbage.

And still no beard!

I'm out of options!

-Good. Then we can finally put this to rest.

-Or...

-No, Grug. We're not doing ors.

-Right. Unless...

- Unless nothing. - Right.

But what if I do the last thing I'd ever wanna do?

-That sounds bad. How about pie instead?

-Sure. Right after I ask Phil for help.

I thought you'd never ask.

-Phil! How did you...

-I have the faint footsteps of a fawn.

And I also have a solution

for your stubble trouble. To the lab cave!

This formula will facilitate your follicular fortitude!

- Huh?

-It will make your beard grow, Grug.

I call it Betterman Beard Broth!

Now, this treatment is verypotent.

All you need is one spoonful. No more, no less!

-But, I-I'm kinda big. Maybe I should drink more.

-No! I've done the math.

One spoonful and onlyone.

Do you understand?

-Yes!

- Are you sure? - Yes!

- Positive? - Yes!

-Because it's veryimportant

you consume only onespoonful!

I can't be any more clear about that!

- Got it! - Very well.

- And you're sure you understand? - Yes!

-One spoonful. Say it back to me.

-One spoonful. Loud and clear.

-You're not going to drink more when I leave, are you?

- No! - Hm.

Did you drink it all?!

-Relax, Phil. I got it.

One spoonful. That's it.

No more, no less.

-Okay, you seem to actually understand.

So, I suppose that means goodnight.

And remember, one spoonful. More is wrong.

Less is wrong. One and one only.

-I'll remember!

- Wait, how much of this am I supposed to drink?

Well, just to be safe, I better drink all of it.

- What a beautiful morning.

How's it hanging? Get it? 'Cause you're hanging.

- Trouble sleeping?

-A little. Probably because it was so hot.

It felt like I was sleeping next to a tigerangutan.

-Berry cakes and fresh bee-mu honey. Extra sticky!

Mm.

Predator!

- Mm?

-Not just any predator. That's Bigfoot.

- A man-beast with more hair

than man or beast.

As deadly as he is ugly.

-Okay, Bigfoot. You got two choices.

You can leave on your own or on a fork!

-Yeah. Prepare to get served!

-Banana!

-So what's it gonna be?

-Whoa. Guys, it's me!

Boy, was that honey sticky.

-Grug? That's you behind that beard?

Beard. Beard. Now, it sounds normal.

Beard. Beard. Wait. No, it's weird again.

- That'swhat's weird to you?! Dad, your beard is so...

everywhere. What happened?

-He got bit by Bigfoot and turned into another Bigfoot!

Aim for the hair!

-Wrong. The Betterman Beard Broth did this

because Grug clearly exceeded the recommended dosage.

I explicitly said one spoonful.

I knew he wouldn't listen!

-I grew a beard, and it's awesome!

-Grug, it covers your whole body.

Are you even wearing a pelt?

-Of course! Can't you tell?

-No! Now, please go shave that thing off

before somebody gets hurt.

-Shave my awesome beard off?! No way!

-It's hair. Who cares?

-I care. And so do you.

You said I couldn't do it, and I did it.

So now, you're jealous!

-I'm jealous? Of your beard? Yeah, that's it.

-I'll admit it's a little fuller than I expected,

but there is zero chance of me shaving this beard

because this is who I am.

Now, if you're done judging us,

my beard and I have memories to make.

-Did you just trip on your beard?

-No. There was an earthquake. You felt it, right?

Very quakey.

Dad, are you sure about this?

Roller logging is pretty dangerous.

-Only if you fall because you've never done it before.

- You've done this before, right? - Nope,

but it doesn't matter. I wanna let it all hang out today!

Like my beard. And I'm not worried.

My beard will break my fall. So, let's go!

- Whoa!

- Whoa! Ho!

-Ha, ha! Didn't feel a thing! 'Cause beard!

- We got beard blocked. - Yeah. The beard's gotta go.

- At last. Phil's shower hour!

-All yours, Phil.

Sweet Zenithees! It's a hair-tastrophe in here!

- The beard must go.

-Huh. Mm.

- Mm... Grug!

-Sorry, Hope. It smells amazing.

And it tastes even better.

-In that case, you're forgiven.

-Hey, Hope. Whatcha making?

-A... ech!

-Oh. Hair soup.

I'm just gonna go... never eat again.

- Eh...

That beard has to go!

-Grug, we need to talk.

Fine. I'll talk, and you listen.

Look, I know you're excited about your beard,

but there's just so much of it.

And all that hair is causing problems.

I mean, poor Gran and Sandy

are out there fending off a hair-vasion.

- - Fight to the last strand, Sandy!

-I guess what I'm trying to say is... Ah!

-Hey, Ugga.

- Ah!

Grug! You have to get rid of your beard!

- Why should I? - Because,

I was just talking to a mound of hair!

-And it was a much better listener than you!

-For the last time, I'm not shaving my beard!

This is me now! So, get on beard!

See what I did there? I said beard instead of board.

- Up top! - Wrong answer.

Let's try this again.

How?!

Thank you for coming.

In case you were wondering

why we're meeting in secret.

It's about Grug's beard. Ah!

I can't get this hair out of my mouth! Yuck!

-There's hair everywhere!

-It's worse than the Great Moomoth Shedding

many moons ago!

So much hair, it blocked out the sun.

-You know what has hair in it? Everything!

I am not eating hair! I won't! I can't!

-I dreamt I was buried in hair.

And then, my dream came true. In a bad way.

-Sorry I'm late. Bad hair day. Got caught in the hair-icane.

-Grug's luxurious locks may be my crowning achievement,

but I'd like to take a shower

without feeling like I need to take another shower!

-So how do we stop Grug's beard,

and, more importantly, stop saying the word beard?

-I have a plan, but it might get ugly.

-Like Dad's beard.

Yes! Beard burn!

- Ooh, pie!

Wait a minute.

What's a pie doing out here all alone?

Seems suspicious... Eh.

Mm...

What's a cage doing out here all alone?

Seems suspicious...

Wait. I'm in the cage!

-End of the hairline, Grug! The beard's comin' off!

-In that cup is another scientific masterstroke.

Betterman Bald Broth! Take one spoonful,

and we all return to our regular, less hairy way of life.

-I'm not drinking that, Phil. I like things hairy,

and your directions are too confusing!

Plus, you think a cage can hold my beard?

Think again!

If you can't accept me with a beard,

then you don't deserve me without a beard!

I'm leaving!

-Tripped on your beard again, huh?

-No!

- Should we stop him? - There's no stopping this, Eep.

We just have to let the hair fall where it may.

-And I'm moving!

-Well, Beard,

it's just you and me now!

And nothing can stop us.

Except hairy feet! But that's it!

Beard! You're on fire!

Stop, drop, and roll!

- So we'll skip the fire.

But that's okay, Beard,

'cause we've got each other for warmth.

And that, my friend, is all we need.

Who's there? Hello?

- Ah!

- Ah! Are you... Bigfoot?

Gran was right! We look the same!

You know, o-our feet aren't that big,

but our beards are!

Instead of Bigfoot, it should be Beardfoot.

- Easy, big fella.

Or, uh, same-sized fella.

My name is Grug. What's yours?

Growl? I like it!

Well, Growl, I guess it's just the four of us now.

You, me, and our beards!

- High-five?

Go deep!

- Yeah!

Beard brothers!

So then I said, "If you can't accept me with a beard,

you don't deserve me without a beard."

- It sure was a good line!

You know, people without beards just don't get us.

Sure, the beard is hot, and it smells like swamp,

and it's really itchy, but it's mine.

They should get on beard with that. Ha!

That's funny because I said beard again instead of board!

But they didn't get on beard,

so I left.

But now I'm thinking

if they won't let the beard grow on them,

I shouldn't leave. Theyshould leave.

So tomorrow morning, I'm going back there to tell them that.

You know what? You're right. You should come with me,

so they can accept you, too. Beardfoot bros forever!

- Whoa.

High ten?!

I didn't even know it went up that high!

- Ugga!

- Oh! Sorry, Hope!

-It's okay, Ugga. We all know you're on edge

because Grug chose his beard over you.

But let's get back to the game!

Everybody grab something stable

'cause you're about to experience

some Guy-smic activity!

-Serve it, Easy Target!

-All you, Dad! Huh?

-We win again.

-Maybe I should stop passing it to Dad.

- You know, since he's not here. - That's his choice.

No one told your dad to leave the farm.

He's just being stubborn.

-Eh, I'm on the fence.

On the one hand, there was hair everywhere.

On the other hand, hair hat.

Oh no! My hair hat gave me hat hair!

Look away! I'm hideous!

-Grug's stubborn, but I'm sure he'll be back soon,

ready to lose the beard. He's not unreasonable.

-Wrong! I'm totally unreasonable!

But that's just the cost of doing beard business.

Because me and my beard are a package deal.

And if it bothers you so much,

maybe you should leave the farm.

Huh?

- What now? - Just to be clear,

I can't eat hair. No matter what.

-I'll go talk to him.

- Dad?

- Grug? But you just went that way.

Eh. It doesn't matter.

What matters is you're here,

which means you're ready to talk,

- and...

And now, you're leaving again.

- And now you're back?

Grug! I can't ride this hair roller coaster anymore.

- Are you ready to talk? - Yeah. That's why I came back.

I just had a great idea.

-About how to get rid of your beard?

-No. About how all of you should grow beards!

- Like Growl!

-Is that... Bigfoot? You know Bigfoot?

-Yeah, but his real name is Growl.

And he's my beard-buddy.

- Hair-five!

-You bearded buffoon!

Bigfoot is a ferocious predator.

And likely fiercely protective of his own kind.

Even the slightest perceived aggression

could send this beast into a violent rage.

-Slightest what?

-Aggression.

-No idea what you're saying.

- Aggression!

Run!

Don't worry!

I'll just activate the cave security system!

- Now, which lever does that?

I should really label these.

Oh. Problem solved. Thanks to me!

-Yep. Way to go, Phil. You saved us.

- Huh?

For a little while.

- Grug, this is all your fault!

- My fault? How? - I'm with you, Dad.

Just because you refused to shave your beard

and went into the woods and befriended Bigfoot

and invited him to come home with you

and now we're hiding in a cave so he doesn't kill us,

doesn't mean it's your fault.

Oh... Yeah, it's your fault.

- - Maybe instead of pointing fingers,

we should come up with a solution.

-We have a solution.

-Great. What is it?

Lose the beard!

-And how is that going to help?

-Because, you talking throw rug,

once Bigfoot realizes you'renot one of his kind,

he'll leave you and, more importantly, us, alone!

- In theory.

-I guess I can't have my hair and eat it, too.

- I know I can't!

-Now, take just one spoonful...

- Or drink it all.

-Growl, I have something to tell you.

The thing is, I'm not what you think I am.

I'm not a you. I'm a me.

And I don't need a beard to be me.

Easy, Growl. It's still me.

And even though I don't have my beautiful beard

or my eyebrows, we can still be pals.

Hey! Where are you going?

-Yes! We get to stop saying beard!

-And eat hair-free food!

-Yep! Our bad hair day is finally over!

-Is it? He looks like a giant thumb!

-And there's hair everywhere!

-Except on Grug!

-Are you okay?

-I'm cold. But, like you said,

it's hair. Who cares?

Hm. I do! I gotta go!

-It's possible drinking too much

of both Betterman Broths broke Grug's brain.

Broke it more, I mean.

Hey, wait up!

I'm comin' for you, Growl!

We don't need hair! We have each other!

- So come back hair! Ha!

I said hair instead of here! You get it!

Because Beardfoot bros forever!

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