All language subtitles for Minx.S02E02.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal) Download
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,261 --> 00:00:12,722 [Doug] You really gonna leave all this for business school? 2 00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:13,931 I was thinkin' about it. 3 00:00:14,098 --> 00:00:15,307 Well, don't. 4 00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:17,268 The best is yet to come. 5 00:00:17,435 --> 00:00:18,894 [Lenny] Hey, honey, I'm home. 6 00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:20,813 You know, I was thinking about you and Bambi, 7 00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:22,021 seeing you two together like that... 8 00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:23,399 Like what? 9 00:00:23,566 --> 00:00:25,276 But she came to, um-- 10 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,570 over to, uh, borrow this bra. 11 00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:28,779 -[Bambi] Oh, yes. -Mm-hmm. 12 00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:30,865 I lost mine in a well. 13 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,324 [Doug] Constance Papadopoulos. 14 00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:33,451 -I love it. -[Doug] I pitched her 15 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:34,827 on investing in Bottom Dollar. 16 00:00:34,994 --> 00:00:36,954 No, look, she's-she's retired from shipping. 17 00:00:37,121 --> 00:00:38,581 She... no. She has zero publishing experience. 18 00:00:38,748 --> 00:00:40,374 I just hear "deep pockets 19 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,543 with no big ideas of what to do with a magazine." 20 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,044 Why didn't I think of that? 21 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,629 You don't have to. That's why you got me. 22 00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,631 Maybe I have one good chapter left. 23 00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:50,176 I cannot believe he was right. 24 00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:52,261 [Constance] Yes, he was. But do we need him? 25 00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:56,807 [T. Rex's "Children of the Revolution" playing] 26 00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,184 [camera shutters snapping] 27 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:01,145 ♪ ♪ 28 00:01:02,188 --> 00:01:03,606 [singer] ♪ Yeah ♪ 29 00:01:05,149 --> 00:01:07,985 [crowd cheering] 30 00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:11,322 [singer] ♪ Well, you can bump And grind... ♪ 31 00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:13,157 [crowd chanting] 32 00:01:13,324 --> 00:01:15,910 ♪ It's good for your mind ♪ 33 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,578 ♪ Well, you... ♪ 34 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,497 Now this is what I call a comeback, huh? 35 00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:21,916 Yeah, baby. 36 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,126 [singer] ♪ No, you won't fool ♪ 37 00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:26,754 ♪ The children Of the revolution ♪ 38 00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:28,297 ♪ No, no... ♪ 39 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:31,383 When I bought this company three weeks ago, 40 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:34,178 this is exactly the kind of cultural happening 41 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:35,888 that I hoped to become a part of. 42 00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:39,391 And I have this man and his global vision 43 00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:41,685 to thank for pulling me out of a premature retirement 44 00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:44,897 and hosting this historic event. 45 00:01:45,064 --> 00:01:48,067 You know, a lot of people counted us out. 46 00:01:48,234 --> 00:01:52,363 But we are back, and we are better than ever 47 00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:54,281 with the hottest new movie 48 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,867 to launch the hottest new company, BDP. 49 00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:58,910 Remember that name. 50 00:01:59,078 --> 00:02:01,247 We're becoming a major player in media. 51 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,165 And, sure, Minx is our flagship, 52 00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:06,544 but we're gonna be so much more than just one magazine. 53 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,796 I'm CFO, chief fun officer. 54 00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:11,090 And I'm art director, which is an actual title. 55 00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:13,092 We're building a catalog of new magazines. 56 00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:15,343 Hosting fancy parties like this one. 57 00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:16,762 There might even be some merchandise 58 00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:18,222 -coming your way. -[camera shutter snaps] 59 00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:20,099 You said you wanted splashy. 60 00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:21,934 -Is this splashy enough? -Well, it's a beginning. 61 00:02:22,101 --> 00:02:23,811 Where's our star editor? Not here yet? 62 00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:25,020 Oh, Joyce? Uh, she's coming. 63 00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:26,230 She loves red carpets. 64 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:27,648 She absolutely loves them. 65 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:32,278 [protesters shouting "Porn-no"] 66 00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:33,988 [protesters] Faith not filth. Faith not filth. 67 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,740 Faith not filth. Faith not filth! 68 00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,076 [streaker] Whoo! Yeah. 69 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,709 [camera shutters snapping] 70 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,129 -Hello! -Where were you? 71 00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:52,298 [Joyce] Oh, sorry. The 101 was crazy. 72 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:53,799 No, it wasn't. That's how we got here. 73 00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:55,759 Okay, fine. I was writing my editor's letter. 74 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,261 A fine thank-you for giving her the bigger office. 75 00:02:57,428 --> 00:02:58,554 They're the same size. 76 00:02:58,721 --> 00:02:59,930 The glass creates an optical illusion. 77 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:01,307 -They are not. -[Joyce] Look, it's 78 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:02,391 the first issue with the new owner. 79 00:03:02,558 --> 00:03:04,476 I wanted to make the right statement, okay? 80 00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:08,647 And, um, speaking of, are we sure that Deep Throat 81 00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,816 is really putting our best foot forward? 82 00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:12,484 Oh, I think so. It's a really feminist tale. 83 00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:13,986 It's about a woman searching for an orgasm. 84 00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:16,030 Yeah, which she finds via a clitoris 85 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,657 conveniently located inside of her mouth? 86 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:19,867 It's always in the last place you look. 87 00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,452 [both chuckle] 88 00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:22,912 This is our big launch, Joycey, 89 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,371 just smile and make us look good. 90 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:25,623 -Have a little fun. -All right. 91 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:27,124 This is a big win for us. 92 00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:28,500 -[Joyce] Yeah. -Oh, my gosh, 93 00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:29,835 there are so many fabulous people here. 94 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,086 Any new names on the, uh, guest list? 95 00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:34,506 Red Buttons, the Alans-- Alda and Arkin-- 96 00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:35,841 and, you're never gonna believe this, 97 00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:37,551 Warren frickin' Beatty. 98 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,345 -[chuckles] -Connie's gonna love this. 99 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:40,971 Porn has gone mainstream. We should have 100 00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:42,264 -an after-party, right? -Yes. 101 00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:43,265 -[Joyce] No. No. -[Doug] Yes, let's do 102 00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:44,682 -an after-party. -God no. 103 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,560 The second this is over, I'm at home in the bath. 104 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:47,770 Joan Didion has a new piece in the Paris Review. 105 00:03:47,937 --> 00:03:49,480 I've been saving it. 106 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,857 -It's 7,000 words, no pictures. -It's a quick read. 107 00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:53,317 -[camera shutters snapping] -[screaming] 108 00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:54,401 [Doug] Rich, go take some photos. 109 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:55,861 Bambs, mingle. 110 00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:57,488 When you see Warren Beatty, let me know. 111 00:03:57,655 --> 00:03:59,657 -I wanna meet him. -Definitely. 112 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:00,824 What about me? 113 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,576 You're management, baby. 114 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,119 You're not lifting a finger. You just enjoy your night. 115 00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:07,665 Well, we are certainly a long way from Seneca Falls. 116 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,041 [chuckles nervously] Yeah. 117 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:10,209 [Constance] Come have a drink with me. 118 00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:11,668 -With pleasure. -You guys have fun. 119 00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,420 We will. Nice cane, by the way. 120 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,964 It's a walking stick. Churchill had one. 121 00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:16,298 So did Willy Wonka. 122 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,133 Oh, let him have his moment. 123 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,010 Poor man already feels like an appendage. 124 00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:21,428 -[Timmy] Mr. Renetti... -What? 125 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,680 [Timmy] ...I'm Timmy, the projectionist. 126 00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:24,098 [Doug] Okay. 127 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,849 [Timmy] Sorry, sir, we have a problem. 128 00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,267 Deep Throat is missing. 129 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,353 [camera shutters snapping] 130 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,064 [Pretty's "Funhouse" playing] 131 00:04:32,231 --> 00:04:34,817 ♪ ♪ 132 00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:37,778 [singer] ♪ Uhn, ahh ♪ 133 00:04:38,988 --> 00:04:41,365 [Doug] Okay. [indistinct] 134 00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:42,908 Why are you freakin' me out, Timmy? 135 00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:45,619 -They're right here. -Yes, the canisters. 136 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:46,996 [Doug] Okay? 137 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,874 What am I lookin' at here? 138 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,668 That's Bedknobs and Broomsticks, 139 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,837 a five-time Academy Award nominated musical fantasy 140 00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:56,714 set during World War II. 141 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,382 Three adorable moppets are placed in the care 142 00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:00,384 of an apprentice witch played by Angela Lansbury. 143 00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:02,302 Apprentice? The woman's nearly 70 years old. 144 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,512 -[sighs] -[Timmy] Miss Lansbury's 145 00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:05,389 in her early 40s. 146 00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:06,765 She just has one of those faces. 147 00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,600 Well, unless somebody comes on that face 148 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:09,935 in the second act, 149 00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:11,854 this audience is gonna eat me alive. 150 00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:13,105 What can I say, Doug? 151 00:05:13,272 --> 00:05:14,690 My old lady made me hire her son. 152 00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:17,443 He's a fuckin' moron. 153 00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,528 Yeah, Dwight, I'm talkin' about you. 154 00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:21,447 Aw, you really fucked me on this one, you know that? 155 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:22,781 [Cliff] You think you got it bad? 156 00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:24,074 I'd hate to be at that birthday party 157 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,200 in Palos Verdes. 158 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,368 [person] I'm gonna slide 159 00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:28,412 up and down the banister. 160 00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,456 I thought the bed was gonna fly. 161 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,332 I guess you could drive over there. 162 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,625 [Doug] It's a two-hour drive. 163 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,252 Jesus fucking Christ. 164 00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:36,754 I have a theater full of people. 165 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,047 My boss is here. 166 00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:40,507 You are in luck. 167 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,760 There's another copy of the film nearby. 168 00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,261 Bob Evans been sittin' on it. 169 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:45,596 [Tina] Who the hell is Bob Evans? 170 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:46,764 [Doug] He's some Hollywood hotshot, 171 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,015 and I think he did The Godfather. 172 00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:49,099 Here, give me that. Give me that. Come here. 173 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:50,642 -[Joyce] Director? -[Doug] Uh, no. 174 00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:51,727 -[Joyce] Writer? -[Doug] I-I don't know. 175 00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:53,937 All I know is, he's been spankin' it to this movie 176 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:55,481 -for two weeks straight. -[Richie] Ali MacGraw 177 00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:57,316 left him for Steve McQueen. Cut the guy some slack. 178 00:05:57,483 --> 00:05:58,776 [Tina] Doug, what the hell are we doin'? 179 00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,903 It's 30 minutes there. It's 30 minutes back. 180 00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:02,404 Please... I'll-I'll vamp for the crowd. 181 00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:03,864 Just please do this for me. 182 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,365 [Richie] Thomas Guide? 183 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:06,784 [Doug] It's in the back seat. 184 00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,911 And, please, easy on the brakes. 185 00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:11,330 It's a very expensive car. 186 00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:12,456 Thank you, guys. I love you, I love you, 187 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:14,124 I love you. 188 00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:16,919 [protesters shouting "Porn-no"] 189 00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:21,840 [exhales] 190 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,133 -Everything all right? -Oh, with me? 191 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,843 Fantastic. Thank you for asking. 192 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,846 ♪ ♪ 193 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,642 Who's that? Who's that? 194 00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,727 -Hmm? -Who was that? 195 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,521 -I don't know. Is he famous? -[Bambi] Hi! 196 00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:36,313 -[Lenny] Hey. -I didn't think you guys 197 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,606 were gonna show. 198 00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:39,024 [Shelly] Yeah, me neither, 199 00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:40,567 especially after I buried the first invitation 200 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,653 at the bottom of the trash can. 201 00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:43,862 But then the second one showed up 202 00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:44,947 and this one got his hands on it, 203 00:06:45,114 --> 00:06:46,322 so here we are. 204 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:48,283 This scene is wild. 205 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:49,701 -[Shelly clears throat] -You know what? I am. 206 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:50,828 I'm gonna unbutton the second button. 207 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:51,954 -Yes, fun. -[Shelly] No, no, no. 208 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:53,580 You have that eczema patch. 209 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:54,873 Oh, just put the chain over it. It'll be foxy. 210 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,708 [Shelly] No, no, no. I got it. I got it. 211 00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:57,793 -I got it. It's okay. -[Bambi giggles] 212 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:58,961 That's perfect. Thank you. 213 00:06:59,128 --> 00:07:00,504 You guys, drinkies. 214 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:01,839 I'm Chief Fun Offering my services. 215 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:04,007 Um, uh, two Jack and Cokes, 216 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,300 unless you have anything stronger. 217 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:06,844 Um, I'll see what they have. 218 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,303 -Mm-hmm. -[Joyce] Oh, my God. 219 00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:09,721 Thank God you're here. 220 00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:11,014 You can keep me company at this bacchanal. 221 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:13,892 -[sighs] -Is that... uh, is that... 222 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,561 is that--no, don't-- is it Telly Savalas? 223 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:16,687 [Shelly] That could be any bald head. 224 00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:17,980 [Lenny] No, no. Look at the gleam. 225 00:07:18,147 --> 00:07:19,398 That's him. That's Telly Savalas. 226 00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:20,899 -I know it. -[Joyce] God, the Lamberts 227 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,192 at Deep Throat. 228 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:23,861 What is the world coming to? 229 00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:26,196 Well, this film is the talk of the dental community. 230 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,282 Yeah, if that smug Peter Strom wants to brag 231 00:07:28,447 --> 00:07:30,909 about his porcelain veneers again, then I'm gonna say, 232 00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,619 "Oh, really? Well, guess what I got to see. 233 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,037 I got to see"-- Yul Brynner. 234 00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:35,414 -Oh, is it? -[gasps] I knew 235 00:07:35,581 --> 00:07:36,456 -it was a celebrity skull. -I do like Yul. 236 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,667 [bell clanging] 237 00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:40,043 Now the movie's gonna start and I didn't say hi. 238 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,879 Uh, you can talk to him after. 239 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:42,796 -Shall we do this? -[Lenny] Maybe we're sitting 240 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,214 -by him. -[Joyce] All right... 241 00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:45,298 -Are we sitting by him? -[Shelly] No, we're 242 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,341 definitely not. We're not seated by him. 243 00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:47,926 -How do you know? -Please don't. Please don't. 244 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,928 [Bambi] That's such a snazzy jacket, Lenny. 245 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,430 -[Lenny] Thank you. -[Bambi giggles] 246 00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:53,223 I don't get to, uh, trot it out very often, 247 00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:54,224 -but... -[Shelly] You know what? 248 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,559 Let's be close to the aisle. 249 00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:57,186 -[Doug] Okay. Ooh. -[Shelly] Yeah? 250 00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:58,187 -[Lenny] You want me to go-- -[Bambi] Oh, that's so cute. 251 00:07:58,353 --> 00:07:59,438 Your bladder's the size of a pea. 252 00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:00,814 -[Shelly] Uh, Joyce... -[Joyce] Yeah. 253 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,149 [Shelly] You know what? You need to sit here. 254 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:03,775 -We have sister business. -[Bambi] Oh, okay. 255 00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,110 Prigger! Joyce! 256 00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:06,737 Can I talk to you for a second? Now? 257 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,281 -[Shelly sighs] -[Joyce] I'm so sorry, Bambi. 258 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,991 [Bambi] Okay. Yup. 259 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,576 Okay. Sorry. Excuse us. 260 00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:14,786 -[Bambi giggles] Sorry. 261 00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:16,580 -Just scootch that on over. -[Shelly] Oh. 262 00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:17,581 [Bambi] Okay, what do you think? 263 00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:19,082 Popcorn, nachos, dog of corn? 264 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,376 Oh, uh, nachos, please. 265 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,378 I have seen popcorn hulls get jammed 266 00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:24,755 right up into the gumline. 267 00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:26,673 -Yeah. -Your job is so interesting. 268 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,467 Oh. 269 00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:29,760 Do you judge people when they get cavities, 270 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,887 or is it nice to feel needed? 271 00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,847 Well, is it crazy if I say 272 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,724 -it's a little bit of both? -[both chuckle] 273 00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:37,935 -[laughs] -[Bambi] No. 274 00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:39,019 No, well, that's what I was saying... 275 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:40,604 [Joyce] Oh, no. 276 00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,481 Something gone awry with your mob-distributed 277 00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:44,316 -illegal film? -Okay, listen, Joyce, 278 00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:46,068 I-I might have to get up there and vamp a little bit 279 00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:48,320 for the crowd, and-and-and I might pull you up, okay? 280 00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:49,988 And I'm gonna need you, if you get up there, 281 00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:51,615 to talk about the-- kind of the lady Minx 282 00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:52,658 perspective of the movie to keep people going. 283 00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:53,867 All right, the Minx perspective is gonna 284 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,203 be quite happy in her seat, eating Nonpareils, okay? 285 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:57,955 -Want one? -No, I don't want a Nonpareil. 286 00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,748 Those are disgusting. 287 00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:03,377 -Fuck. -[tires screech] 288 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,795 [car doors close] 289 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,049 -[intercom buzzes] -[garbled voice] What? 290 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,509 [Tina] We're here for the reels. 291 00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:13,345 [garbled voice] 292 00:09:13,512 --> 00:09:14,888 [Tina] No. Not Lady Sings the Blues. 293 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,766 -Deep Throat. -[voice speaking indistinctly] 294 00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:20,060 Okay, thank you. You too. 295 00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:23,855 -Kevin's coming down. -[Richie] If you say so. 296 00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:26,608 [Doug] Welcome, everybody, to the biggest and baddest 297 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:29,653 social event of 1973. 298 00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:32,739 [cheers and applause] 299 00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:35,033 This movie is too hot for New York City. 300 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,868 They couldn't handle it. 301 00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:39,162 -Chicago couldn't handle it. -[laughter] 302 00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,164 But this is LA, baby. 303 00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:45,377 -Can we handle it? -[Timmy mutters] 304 00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:47,087 Oh. 305 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,469 But first, I wanna introduce 306 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,139 Minx's own Joyce Prigger. 307 00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:59,516 Come on up, Joycey. 308 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:01,810 You're gonna love her. I know I do. 309 00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:04,021 Get up, Joycey. 310 00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:06,565 [Bambi] Joyce! Joyce! Joyce! Joyce! Joyce! 311 00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:09,568 Joyce! Joyce! Whoo! 312 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:11,903 Whoo! 313 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,281 Surely we can work something out, guys. 314 00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:16,408 Shutting this down seems to be an extreme reaction 315 00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:17,701 to this situation. 316 00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:19,411 You placed ads on billboards. 317 00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:20,704 You got those drive time idiots 318 00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:22,372 to yammer about it on the radio. 319 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,583 Then you wave your klieg lights across the city 320 00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:26,501 for a movie that's banned in half the country. 321 00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:27,919 You tied the DA's hands. 322 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:31,006 Friends, you're killin' me right now. 323 00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:32,591 [Joyce] As we're all aware, 324 00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:35,761 Michelangelo was repulsed by the female form. 325 00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:38,305 -Um... uh... -[audience muttering] 326 00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:40,766 Uh, his greatest depictions... [chuckles weakly] 327 00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:44,102 ...were of virginal, untouched Mary. 328 00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,812 [chuckles weakly] 329 00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:50,817 -[feedback whines] -Uh... 330 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,402 Have you guys seen the movie? 331 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,488 It's more arthouse than it is porn. 332 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,781 You know what it's about? It's about a woman 333 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,324 -searching for pleasure-- -Mr. Renetti, 334 00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:58,950 this is not a negotiation. 335 00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:00,202 If a single frame of Deep Throat 336 00:11:00,369 --> 00:11:01,661 hits that screen, 337 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:05,082 we're gonna arrest you and everyone here. 338 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:07,626 [canisters clatter] 339 00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:10,045 You guys really know how to rain 340 00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:12,297 on someone's parade, you know that? 341 00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:13,757 I just don't know what I'm gonna tell 342 00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:15,050 all those people in the theater. 343 00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:16,426 I got no Deep Throat now 'cause of you. 344 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,136 Well, better you say it here 345 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,304 than from the inside of a jail cell. 346 00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:23,517 [second cop] Good night, Mr. Renetti. 347 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:26,353 [Doug] I got egg all over my face, officers. 348 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,438 You win again. 349 00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:30,023 -I lose again. -[engine rumbles] 350 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,691 Thanks for nothin', officers. 351 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,361 [engine revs] 352 00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:39,449 [Richie] Deep dish pizza, 353 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,119 a lake as big as an ocean, 354 00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:43,203 -the Cubbies-- -Is that a haiku? 355 00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,288 [Richie] No. 356 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,832 I was just listing all the things 357 00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:48,458 that you missed out on by turning down 358 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:51,169 -the University of Chicago. -[sighs] Don't start. 359 00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:53,088 Running Minx is my business school. 360 00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:55,757 Tina, you're not running Minx. You're running errands. 361 00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:58,301 Doug can distract us with all the new titles he wants, 362 00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:01,012 but we're still his gofers. 363 00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:03,932 -[Kevin clears throat] -[Tina] Oh. 364 00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:05,350 There's supposed to be six. 365 00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:06,726 Yeah. [sighs] Bob wanted to give 366 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,395 the last three one more viewing. 367 00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:09,688 -He's had it for a week. -[Kevin] I don't know, man. 368 00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,064 The engagement sequence cheers him up. 369 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,357 All right, I'll drive back with the first set. 370 00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:13,525 You stay and take a cab with the rest. 371 00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:14,526 [Richie] Wha... 372 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,863 Oh, Porn Schlepping 101. I love that MBA program. 373 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,408 -[exhales] -[Kevin] Is that grass? 374 00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:23,285 No. 375 00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:25,912 [The Screaming Gyspy Bandits' "Prematurely" playing] 376 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,665 [brakes screech] 377 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,208 -[Doug] Do you have 'em? -[Tina] Yes. 378 00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:31,418 Yes. 379 00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:35,255 Oh, Tina, hallelujah. 380 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:36,882 [both chuckle] 381 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:37,966 Tell me you weren't ridin' the brakes 382 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:39,009 like that the whole time. 383 00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:40,385 [Tina] Would you quit worrying? 384 00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:41,845 [Doug] You kill the brakes when you do that. 385 00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:43,972 Uh, very good guess, but no, that is the perineum. 386 00:12:44,139 --> 00:12:45,974 [audience chuckles] 387 00:12:46,141 --> 00:12:49,352 Warren, for the 12th time, I know you know, all right? 388 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:53,064 We all know you now. Right? 389 00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:56,526 Gentlemen, does any man in this room 390 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:59,738 besides Warren Beatty over there, 391 00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:02,157 know where the clitoris is on a female body? 392 00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:04,034 [Shelly] Absolutely not. 393 00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:05,535 Yes, good sir. 394 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,913 The little nubbin under the beret. 395 00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:10,707 Ew. Jeez. 396 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:12,959 -But yes. Yes, yes. -[applause] 397 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,961 It's the nubbin. 398 00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,506 The nubbin, everybody. All right, now, let's-- 399 00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:22,093 hey-hey, ladies and gentlemen, you've had enough of me. 400 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:24,596 Are you ready for the absurdist 401 00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:27,307 cinematic spectacle of our time, 402 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,850 Deep Throat? 403 00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:31,728 [cheers and applause] 404 00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:37,609 [funky music playing] 405 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,446 [cheers and applause] 406 00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:44,449 ♪ ♪ 407 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:48,453 [crickets chirping] 408 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:49,788 [Richie] So do all of Bob's assistants 409 00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:51,915 have to wait for him to jerk off? 410 00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:53,458 I'm actually a VP at Paramount. 411 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:54,960 [Richie chuckles] 412 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:56,628 But I started as his assistant, 413 00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:58,588 and he can't stop thinkin' of me that way. 414 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:01,258 [sighs] The things he makes me do. 415 00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:05,303 [chuckles] You know, if I ever have an assistant, 416 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:08,473 I swear I'm gonna be so nice to him. 417 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,475 -I do have an assistant. -[Richie] Mm. 418 00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:11,601 [Kevin] Who do you think is standing 419 00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:13,979 -outside Bob's door right now? -[Richie giggles] 420 00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:18,400 No. No. I'm getting loopier by the second, so... 421 00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:21,570 And if I like you loopy? 422 00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,535 [Bob] Kevin, I'm done. I need 423 00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:29,995 -a strawberry milkshake... -[Kevin sighs] 424 00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:31,162 [Bob] ...and a menthol cigarette. 425 00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:33,290 Also, I, uh, fired your assistant. 426 00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:34,666 He won't stop crying. 427 00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:36,251 -Duty calls. -Mm. 428 00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:39,838 Can you get me a cab? 429 00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:42,966 I have a better idea. 430 00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:45,468 [tires squeal] 431 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:46,845 [doctor] Listen, having a clitoris 432 00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:48,388 deep down at the bottom of your throat 433 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,181 is better than having no clitoris at all. 434 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:54,102 That's easy for you to say. [weeps] 435 00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:56,396 Suppose your balls were in your ear. 436 00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:00,650 Why, then I could hear myself coming. 437 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:03,612 [laughter] 438 00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:06,906 Listen, we have the problem solved. 439 00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,867 All we have to do now is find a solution. 440 00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:10,994 -[both chuckle] -[Linda] Like what? 441 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:12,329 -[Lenny chuckles] -[Linda weeps] 442 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:14,664 [doctor] Like-like deep throat. 443 00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:15,999 [Shelly] Sorry, sorry, sorry. 444 00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:17,125 -Oh, my God. -[Linda] Deep what? 445 00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:18,710 [doctor] Deep throat. 446 00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:20,378 [Linda] You make it sound so easy. 447 00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:22,881 [doctor] Well, it is. 448 00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:25,717 Try it. You'll like it. 449 00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:28,219 [Linda] Well, what have I got to lose? 450 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:29,137 -[doctor] Come dear. -[Doug] How much time 451 00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:30,513 we got left, Timmy? 452 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,766 Seven, maybe eight minutes. 453 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,768 [Doug] Well, it-it's better to give the audience 454 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,728 some Deep Throat than no Deep Throat, right? 455 00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,688 No. It's way worse. 456 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,440 -See this crack? -[Doug] Yeah. 457 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,692 [Timmy] Sound of Music, '66. We spooled out 458 00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:44,277 right as the Nazis rushed in. 459 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:45,570 [Doug] All right, so we are about to give blue balls 460 00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:46,946 to this entire theater. 461 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:47,989 Is that what you're telling me right now? 462 00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:49,949 Yes, sir. 463 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,786 [Doug] Teens? Teens? Please. 464 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,621 I need you. 465 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,373 I need you to go find Richie and figure out 466 00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:57,707 what the holdup is. 467 00:15:57,874 --> 00:15:58,958 By the time I get there and back, 468 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,502 this reel'll be long done. It doesn't m-- 469 00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:01,628 No, I have a plan for that. I have a plan for that. 470 00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:02,629 I'm gonna have Joyce go up there 471 00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:03,880 and tap dance a little bit. 472 00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,465 -Please. Please. -Okay, but it... 473 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:06,633 -it just doesn't make sense. -[Doug] I-I-I need you 474 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,969 to go, please. 475 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,305 -I'm begging you. -Ooh, okay. Yep. 476 00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:15,809 [sighs] Oh, God. 477 00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:21,189 It's a lot. Right? 478 00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:22,774 I've mostly been watching the crowd 479 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:24,442 -instead of the screen. -What? Oh, no. 480 00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:26,861 I-I-I had a large cola. 481 00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,822 You know, after three kids, whoosh, goes right through ya. 482 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,280 Well, Lenny seems to be having a good time. 483 00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:31,908 [Shelly] Oh, yeah. Mark my words, 484 00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:33,368 he's in there workshopping a Deep Throat joke 485 00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:34,703 he'll be telling for years. 486 00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,289 [mutters indistinctly] 487 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,250 [Shelly] Huh? Ow! 488 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:42,544 What's wrong with you? 489 00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:44,921 [mutters indistinctly] 490 00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,464 -Joan Didion? -Oh, my God. 491 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:49,134 Is it the auth-- Joan Didion? Is she here? 492 00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:53,763 -[Joyce] Hi. Hi. -[Shelly] Oh, God. 493 00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:56,015 -I'm, uh--I'm Joyce-- -[Joan] Joyce Prigger, yeah. 494 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,517 I enjoyed your little performance. 495 00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,729 Oh, God. Blech. [chuckles] 496 00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,063 What are you doing here? 497 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:04,357 Forming an opinion. 498 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:07,777 I wanted to see what all the... the fuss was about. 499 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,487 Well, people are here. [chuckles] 500 00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:11,614 You know, and people are really laughing. 501 00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:12,906 But I-I think that's because 502 00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:15,117 of the collective anxiety 503 00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:17,746 of watching something so unsettling on screen. 504 00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:21,207 The laughter's a nervous release, you know? 505 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,042 [chuckles] 506 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,335 I think they're laughing 'cause it's a comedy. 507 00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:26,171 Yes. I-I agree. 508 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,756 Well, I don't think it was their intent, 509 00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:29,841 but, uh, regardless, 510 00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:32,010 they seem to have stumbled onto something. 511 00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:33,303 And will you excuse me? 512 00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:38,641 [mouthing words] 513 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:43,813 Hey, Joan? 514 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:47,317 Um, fun idea just occurred to me. 515 00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:48,610 -[Joan peeing] -What if you wrote 516 00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:50,236 about this for Minx? 517 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,488 [Joan] Uh... 518 00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,406 Just some small musings, really. 519 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:54,449 Just you... just your thoughts 520 00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:56,868 on what it all means. 521 00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:59,537 [Joan] It is possible to continue this conversation 522 00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:01,664 at another time? 523 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,667 [Joyce] Well, uh, actually, 524 00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:08,838 um, we're having an after-party, 525 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,466 um, which you should come to. 526 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,593 Um, and we can... we can chat there 527 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,678 if you like and talk about life 528 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:18,890 and star signs and... [chuckles] 529 00:18:19,057 --> 00:18:20,183 -Um... -[Joan] Oh. 530 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,560 -There you go. -[Joan] Yeah. 531 00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:24,646 Is this in the valley? 532 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,358 -[projector whirring] -[bang on door] 533 00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:30,401 Help me push this against the door. 534 00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:31,903 -It might buy us some time. -[Doug] Stop it. 535 00:18:36,074 --> 00:18:37,492 [Joyce] Her-her-her eyes were smiling. 536 00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:38,910 You know? Like-like-like, 537 00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:42,121 -from ear to ear. Oh! -[canisters clatter] 538 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:45,416 [Doug] Oh, God, no! [groans] 539 00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:46,876 -[Shelly] Oh! Oh, God. -[Doug grunts] 540 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,044 [Shelly] Oh, that's terrible. 541 00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:49,629 [Doug] Find reel four. 542 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:50,797 -[Joyce] All right. Jesus. -[Richie] Oh, okay. 543 00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:52,298 I haven't seen any of it. How am I supposed to know 544 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,591 -what's in reel four? -[Doug] Shout it out. 545 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:54,551 -I'll know. -[Richie] I've got, uh, 546 00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:56,177 pubic shaving. 547 00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:57,762 Is this the nurse making whoopie? 548 00:18:57,929 --> 00:18:59,806 There's a straw coming out of her vagina. 549 00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,850 That's Coke dildo. [pants] 550 00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:03,184 Coke dildo starts reel four. 551 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:04,227 [Doug] All right, give me reel four. 552 00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:06,187 It's reel four. Give it to me. 553 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:07,730 Thank you. Come on. 554 00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,691 [Joyce] Oh, my God. Give me that. 555 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:11,025 -Come on. -[Doug] Fuck! 556 00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:14,112 [upbeat music plays] 557 00:19:14,279 --> 00:19:15,947 [singer] ♪ Something's wrong ♪ 558 00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,116 -[both yell] -[Joyce] Je--God, reel four. 559 00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:20,577 ♪ ♪ 560 00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:23,037 [doctor] Case 358. Albert Finster. Age 25. 561 00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:24,873 Bachelor. 562 00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:26,499 Has an obsession in finding out 563 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:29,127 that things really do go better with Coke. 564 00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:31,671 -Relax your muscles... -[projector whirs] 565 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,506 [projector beeps] 566 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,425 [singer] ♪ I'd like to try ♪ 567 00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:38,052 [laughter] 568 00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:41,973 ♪ Please don't think Less of me ♪ 569 00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:44,559 ♪ I'd like to drink A little Coke ♪ 570 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:46,561 [Joyce] All right. 571 00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:49,022 Oh. Thank you. [chuckles] You're very kind. 572 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,690 Thank you. 573 00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,942 Hi, hello. 574 00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,736 Did you enjoy it? Love your boa. 575 00:19:54,903 --> 00:19:56,487 'Kay, thank you. Great to meet you. 576 00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,990 Thank you. Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me. 577 00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:00,658 All right, you should put some ice on that, 578 00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:02,410 because we have an after-party to host. 579 00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:04,329 Thought you nixed that. Who was it, Joyce Carol Oates 580 00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:06,080 in the bathtub, reading a book or something? 581 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:08,541 No, it's Joan Didion, and she's coming to the party, okay? 582 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,043 She might actually be writing about Deep Throat 583 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,545 for our magazine. 584 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,505 Oh, God, this really is a cultural phenomenon. 585 00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,090 -Uh... it's not gonna happen. -[Joyce] Hi. 586 00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:17,508 We don't have time to throw a party. 587 00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:19,177 What? No, it's fine. Constance is all over it. 588 00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:20,637 She's got a caterer on retainer. 589 00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,388 -Constance... -[Joyce] Yeah. 590 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,474 ...is gonna stock the booze for one of our parties? 591 00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:25,850 -Yeah. -[Doug chuckling] No. 592 00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:27,185 -[Joyce] Why? -No, no, if we're gonna do it, 593 00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:28,519 it's gotta be Tina. I'll send Tina. 594 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:29,771 -She knows what good-- -Tina! Where is Tina? 595 00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:31,564 I haven't seen her all evening. Thank you. 596 00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,067 Hi! Oh, my God, hi. 597 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:37,695 ["If It's Alright, It's Gonna Be All Night" playing] 598 00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:39,197 [Bambi chuckles] Enjoy! 599 00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:42,492 ♪ ♪ 600 00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:45,119 -Great choice. -[singer] ♪ Oh, baby ♪ 601 00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:47,288 ♪ If it's all right... ♪ 602 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:48,706 [Lenny] No, no, I liked it. I liked it. 603 00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:51,000 Of course, I've had a lot of women patients, 604 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:52,210 but the only thing I've ever found 605 00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:53,294 in the back of a woman's throat 606 00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:54,671 is esophageal cancer. 607 00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:55,964 -[chuckling] -So another... oh, yeah. 608 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,548 Hey, you're driving. 609 00:20:57,715 --> 00:20:59,050 [Bambi] Oh, the green ones are for focus. 610 00:20:59,217 --> 00:21:01,177 Astronauts take them to survive reentry. 611 00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:03,721 -You can have half. -[Bambi] Ooh. 612 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:04,597 -Give it. -[Kevin] I love what you did 613 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:05,807 with the lens flare. It makes you feel 614 00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:06,849 like someone's looking. 615 00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:08,059 [Richie] Most people get derailed 616 00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:09,852 -by the monster cock. -[chuckles] 617 00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:11,896 Oh. Funny and talented. 618 00:21:12,063 --> 00:21:13,564 Hope you're ready to hit the big time. 619 00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:15,274 -[Richie chuckles] Okay. -[glasses clink] 620 00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,944 [Doug] Well, the difference is, cane's got a crook, 621 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:20,238 whereas this baby right here... check that out. 622 00:21:20,405 --> 00:21:23,741 Nepalese fire opal. 623 00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:26,202 -They say it's cursed. -[laughter] 624 00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:28,788 [chuckles] I say it's expensive. 625 00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:30,581 -[Bambi] Ahem. -[Doug] A great piece. 626 00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:34,293 [singer] ♪ I know you're gonna Make it all right ♪ 627 00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:37,255 [laughter] 628 00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:43,720 [person] Oh, yeah? When I was a kid, 629 00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:45,263 I thought a blow job was someone 630 00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:47,015 literally blowing on your dick. 631 00:21:47,181 --> 00:21:48,891 No, the first time I saw a penis, 632 00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:51,144 I thought it was a long belly button. 633 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:54,397 What kind of wackos send these unsolicited? 634 00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:56,649 Aw, grandpa thinks he belongs in a magazine. 635 00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,276 [laughter] 636 00:21:58,443 --> 00:22:00,111 That's Wayne. He has a purple heart. 637 00:22:00,278 --> 00:22:01,571 [Joyce] Yeah. And a purple penis. 638 00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:05,908 Um... 639 00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:07,493 [person] Hey, can I get a refill? 640 00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,495 [laughter] 641 00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:11,039 [singer] ♪ Now, I know That when I take you... ♪ 642 00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:16,044 [Constance] Ah, nothing more attractive 643 00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:18,629 than a man doing the dishes. 644 00:22:18,796 --> 00:22:20,631 You know, if you were 20 years younger, 645 00:22:20,798 --> 00:22:22,300 I might just lock you away in my tower. 646 00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:23,968 [Doug] Well, if you were ten years older, 647 00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:25,595 -I might let ya. -[Constance chuckles] 648 00:22:25,762 --> 00:22:27,138 I'm just sayin' my goodbyes. 649 00:22:27,305 --> 00:22:28,598 Not bad for our maiden voyage, huh? 650 00:22:28,765 --> 00:22:29,974 What do you think? You happy? 651 00:22:30,141 --> 00:22:31,768 I especially appreciate the way you handled 652 00:22:31,934 --> 00:22:33,519 the debacle with the missing reels 653 00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,438 and the police. 654 00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:37,148 -What police? -[Constance] Mm-hmm. 655 00:22:37,315 --> 00:22:38,149 I know that you're used to taking care 656 00:22:38,316 --> 00:22:41,277 of all these things by yourself, but use me. 657 00:22:41,444 --> 00:22:44,322 I was the DA's third-largest donor, 658 00:22:44,489 --> 00:22:46,199 and that prickly son of a bitch owes me. 659 00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:47,825 Good to know. 660 00:22:47,992 --> 00:22:50,161 But I like what I saw tonight, Douglas. 661 00:22:50,328 --> 00:22:52,288 I'm very excited to roll up our sleeves 662 00:22:52,455 --> 00:22:53,998 and see where this is gonna go. 663 00:22:54,165 --> 00:22:55,083 Me too. 664 00:22:55,249 --> 00:22:57,001 Oh, and by the way, 665 00:22:57,168 --> 00:23:00,671 awfully generous of you to give Joyce the larger office. 666 00:23:00,838 --> 00:23:02,173 You are a gentleman. 667 00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:07,428 [Doug sighs] 668 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,599 Your car is on Mulholland 669 00:23:11,766 --> 00:23:12,725 somewhere between Coldwater 670 00:23:12,892 --> 00:23:14,393 and Laurel Canyon. 671 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,062 That Rolls is a piece of shit, and so are you. 672 00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:17,480 I shouldn't have sent you, 673 00:23:17,647 --> 00:23:18,439 but there was no way I could have reached-- 674 00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:19,982 Laurel and Coldwater? 675 00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:21,400 That's a two-mile stretch, Teens. 676 00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:22,944 [Tina] Tough shit. 677 00:23:23,111 --> 00:23:24,153 I just walked into a big-ass party 678 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:25,780 that I wasn't invited to 679 00:23:25,947 --> 00:23:28,282 for a movie I didn't get to see. 680 00:23:28,449 --> 00:23:29,325 [Doug] Go back to the party, guys. 681 00:23:29,492 --> 00:23:31,494 Have fun. Tina, please, 682 00:23:31,661 --> 00:23:32,662 you think that was my intention? 683 00:23:32,829 --> 00:23:34,038 There was no way I could reach you. 684 00:23:34,205 --> 00:23:36,249 [Tina] Résumés for my replacement. 685 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:38,668 I am the managing editor, Doug, not your secretary. 686 00:23:38,835 --> 00:23:40,878 If you need me, I'll be drinking 687 00:23:41,045 --> 00:23:43,172 your secret Scotch in Joyce's office. 688 00:23:43,339 --> 00:23:44,715 That's where the fun seems to be. 689 00:23:44,882 --> 00:23:48,511 -[laughter] -The-the-the only thing 690 00:23:48,678 --> 00:23:49,846 I've found at the back of a woman's throat 691 00:23:50,012 --> 00:23:52,515 -is a swollen uvula. -[all laugh] 692 00:23:53,724 --> 00:23:55,309 Okay, these pills are definitely making me funnier. 693 00:23:55,476 --> 00:23:57,061 -Can I have the other half now? -[Shelly] No. It's 2:00 a.m. 694 00:23:57,228 --> 00:23:58,688 The sitter probably thinks we're dead. 695 00:23:58,855 --> 00:24:00,481 Okay, so what's another hour? 696 00:24:00,648 --> 00:24:02,275 You've had enough, okay? 697 00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:05,278 Y-you can tell all your friends tomorrow at the club 698 00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:08,781 about your big party with the porn stars. 699 00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:11,576 That's what you think this night is about? 700 00:24:11,742 --> 00:24:13,369 Shell... 701 00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:17,832 Something is going on with you, and I don't know what. 702 00:24:17,999 --> 00:24:19,542 And I-I don't quite know why, but I just figured 703 00:24:19,709 --> 00:24:20,501 it would be good for us to get away 704 00:24:20,668 --> 00:24:21,502 from the kids and the house 705 00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:22,628 and the responsibilities, 706 00:24:22,795 --> 00:24:23,796 try to have a little fun together? 707 00:24:25,423 --> 00:24:26,799 I would like that, too, 708 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:29,760 to have some fun with you. 709 00:24:30,303 --> 00:24:32,555 Look, I love you. 710 00:24:32,722 --> 00:24:34,223 And-and whatever this is, 711 00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:35,933 I wanna figure it out with you. 712 00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:37,101 Do whatever it takes. 713 00:24:39,437 --> 00:24:41,189 I do still have that other half, so... 714 00:24:43,566 --> 00:24:44,942 [Lenny chuckles] 715 00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:46,694 [singer] ♪ ...to your lips, darlin' ♪ 716 00:24:48,196 --> 00:24:52,033 ♪ It's poison to some ♪ 717 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:53,409 [Shelly sighs] Come with me. 718 00:24:53,576 --> 00:24:54,619 I know a place. 719 00:24:56,329 --> 00:24:58,122 [indistinct] kiss. 720 00:24:58,915 --> 00:25:00,791 -[both] Oh. -[Richie] Watch out, 721 00:25:00,958 --> 00:25:02,251 the cabinet on the left is a little wobbly. 722 00:25:02,418 --> 00:25:04,462 -[Shelly] Okay. -[Richie chuckles] 723 00:25:07,798 --> 00:25:09,175 [Joan] You're the belle of the ball. 724 00:25:09,342 --> 00:25:11,469 [Joyce] Joan! Hi. 725 00:25:11,636 --> 00:25:13,554 I didn't know you were here. Hi. 726 00:25:13,721 --> 00:25:15,014 [Joan] That's by design. 727 00:25:15,181 --> 00:25:16,015 [Joyce] Oh. 728 00:25:17,725 --> 00:25:19,685 Is that your notebook? 729 00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:22,104 Are you-are you considering writing the piece? 730 00:25:22,271 --> 00:25:25,066 [sighs] I don't think I have much to say about Deep Throat. 731 00:25:26,067 --> 00:25:28,486 Oh. Really? 732 00:25:28,653 --> 00:25:30,154 Mm. 733 00:25:30,321 --> 00:25:32,490 But doesn't it seem like people are longing 734 00:25:32,657 --> 00:25:36,327 for a way to be more open about sexuality 735 00:25:36,494 --> 00:25:40,498 and-and to ask questions without feeling shame? 736 00:25:40,665 --> 00:25:42,416 And so they've turned this ridiculous movie 737 00:25:42,583 --> 00:25:43,834 into this spectacle 738 00:25:44,001 --> 00:25:46,754 to give themselves a way to do just that. 739 00:25:46,921 --> 00:25:48,464 And, do you know, I don't think it stops there. 740 00:25:48,631 --> 00:25:50,549 I-I think... I don't know. 741 00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:52,593 This feels like the beginning of something. 742 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,054 [singer] ♪ It's poison for some ♪ 743 00:25:55,221 --> 00:25:57,139 Sounds like you've already started writing it. 744 00:25:57,306 --> 00:25:59,475 [singer] ♪ So wait like a lady ♪ 745 00:25:59,642 --> 00:26:03,688 ♪ Lady, lady, lady Lady, lady, lady ♪ 746 00:26:03,854 --> 00:26:05,815 ♪ Wait like a lady Wait like a lady ♪ 747 00:26:05,982 --> 00:26:08,067 ♪ Lady, lady, lady... ♪ 748 00:26:08,234 --> 00:26:10,778 [Doug sighs] 749 00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:13,781 -[Bambi] Hey. -[Doug] Hey. 750 00:26:13,948 --> 00:26:15,616 Well, this is the biggest party we've ever thrown. 751 00:26:15,783 --> 00:26:17,076 [Doug] Oh, by far. 752 00:26:18,995 --> 00:26:20,329 Ernest Borgnine and Warren Beatty 753 00:26:20,496 --> 00:26:21,706 came to blows in the parking lot. 754 00:26:21,872 --> 00:26:24,333 What? Why didn't anybody come tell me? 755 00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:26,711 It wasn't a fair fight. 756 00:26:26,877 --> 00:26:28,254 Ernie dropped with one punch. 757 00:26:28,421 --> 00:26:30,548 Ugh, I fucking missed everything. 758 00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:35,886 I think I like the old parties better. 759 00:26:36,053 --> 00:26:38,139 Yeah. Porn's gone mainstream. 760 00:26:40,516 --> 00:26:44,895 [typewriter clacking] 761 00:26:46,897 --> 00:26:48,649 [groans] 762 00:26:50,401 --> 00:26:51,569 [typewriter dings] 763 00:26:53,195 --> 00:26:55,906 ["Number One" playing] 764 00:26:56,073 --> 00:26:58,909 ♪ ♪ 765 00:27:00,536 --> 00:27:04,749 [singer] ♪ My daddy said ♪ 766 00:27:06,876 --> 00:27:11,922 ♪ Son, the time's done come ♪ 767 00:27:13,758 --> 00:27:16,844 ♪ I'm gonna turn you loose And let go your hand ♪ 768 00:27:17,011 --> 00:27:20,806 ♪ You got to go in the world And prove yourself a man ♪ 769 00:27:22,933 --> 00:27:25,019 ♪ 'Cause you been Put down here ♪ 770 00:27:25,186 --> 00:27:26,812 ♪ To be number one ♪ 771 00:27:26,979 --> 00:27:28,689 ♪ You've got to rise In the morning ♪ 772 00:27:28,856 --> 00:27:30,691 ♪ And meet the sun ♪ 773 00:27:30,858 --> 00:27:33,694 ♪ You gotta sit at the table And break the bread ♪ 774 00:27:33,861 --> 00:27:35,363 ♪ And if the blood In your veins ♪ 775 00:27:35,529 --> 00:27:37,281 ♪ Is runnin' red ♪ 776 00:27:37,448 --> 00:27:39,158 ♪ Then you ought to be a man ♪ 777 00:27:39,325 --> 00:27:41,994 ♪ Or you might as well Be dead ♪ 778 00:27:42,161 --> 00:27:44,997 ♪ ♪ 779 00:27:47,875 --> 00:27:52,088 ♪ My daddy said ♪ 780 00:27:54,507 --> 00:27:58,552 ♪ Son, the time's done come ♪ 781 00:28:01,222 --> 00:28:04,642 ♪ You got to look all around Find a solid stone ♪ 782 00:28:04,809 --> 00:28:06,310 ♪ You got to make Things ready ♪ 783 00:28:06,477 --> 00:28:10,398 ♪ And build yourself a home ♪ 784 00:28:10,564 --> 00:28:12,608 ♪ 'Cause you been Put down here ♪ 785 00:28:12,775 --> 00:28:14,652 ♪ To be number one ♪ 786 00:28:14,819 --> 00:28:16,070 ♪ You got to rise In the morning ♪ 787 00:28:16,237 --> 00:28:18,406 ♪ And meet the sun ♪ 788 00:28:18,572 --> 00:28:21,158 ♪ You got to sit at the table And break the bread ♪ 789 00:28:21,325 --> 00:28:23,244 ♪ And if the blood In your veins ♪ 790 00:28:23,411 --> 00:28:25,037 ♪ Is runnin' red ♪ 791 00:28:25,204 --> 00:28:26,539 ♪ Then you ought to be a man ♪ 792 00:28:26,705 --> 00:28:28,541 ♪ Or you might as well Be dead ♪ 793 00:28:28,707 --> 00:28:30,334 [Doug] Eighteen. 794 00:28:32,753 --> 00:28:34,880 Motherfuck. 795 00:28:35,631 --> 00:28:39,176 [singer] ♪ My daddy said ♪ 796 00:28:42,471 --> 00:28:46,475 ♪ Son, the time's done come ♪ 797 00:28:48,686 --> 00:28:50,271 ♪ You got To find you a woman ♪ 798 00:28:50,438 --> 00:28:52,606 ♪ And treat her good ♪ 799 00:28:52,773 --> 00:28:55,693 ♪ Do your duty Like you know you should ♪ 800 00:28:55,860 --> 00:28:59,155 ♪ You'll never have to worry 'Bout bein' alone ♪ 801 00:28:59,321 --> 00:29:02,241 ♪ The woman's gonna make you A happy home ♪ 802 00:29:04,952 --> 00:29:06,829 ♪ 'Cause you been Put down here ♪ 803 00:29:06,996 --> 00:29:08,789 ♪ To be number one ♪ 804 00:29:08,956 --> 00:29:10,624 ♪ You got to rise In the morning ♪ 805 00:29:10,791 --> 00:29:12,626 ♪ And meet the sun ♪ 806 00:29:12,793 --> 00:29:15,588 ♪ You got to sit at the table And break the bread ♪ 807 00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:17,131 ♪ And if the blood In your veins ♪ 808 00:29:17,298 --> 00:29:18,924 ♪ Is runnin' red ♪ 809 00:29:19,091 --> 00:29:21,051 ♪ Then you ought to be a man ♪ 810 00:29:21,218 --> 00:29:25,598 ♪ Or you might as well Be dead ♪ 811 00:29:30,352 --> 00:29:33,230 ♪ Then you ought to be a man ♪ 812 00:29:33,397 --> 00:29:38,861 ♪ Or you might as well Be dead ♪ 813 00:29:44,700 --> 00:29:47,495 ♪ ♪ 55925

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.