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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:19,978 [POISON IVY] Can you leave Tuesday, or... 2 00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:21,479 Sorry, that's leg day. 3 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,398 You know, the Bat family is all about group squats. 4 00:00:23,481 --> 00:00:24,983 Oh. What about next Thursday? 5 00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:27,652 Ugh. Thursdays are my day for surveillance at the docks. 6 00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,779 Okay. Well, then, honey, when can you go? 7 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,656 Heroes deserve a day off. 8 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,575 Even all those unvaccinated firefighters. 9 00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:35,326 You know what? Yeah. Yeah, let's just go this weekend. 10 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:38,830 Actually, the Lexor in Vegas just reopened, 11 00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:40,373 and it's free for villains. 12 00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:42,584 Oh, yeah! Cheetah and Kanye renewed their vows there. 13 00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:46,379 Wait, isn't Clayface's residency starting this weekend? 14 00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:48,590 I've been getting so many targeted ads, it's like, ugh. 15 00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:50,967 Same! Oh, my God, I cannot believe we haven't talked about this. 16 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:54,054 He's singing the greatest hits of other Vegas residencies? 17 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,306 Yes, and why is the trailer in French? 18 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:59,100 Why is he taking a bubble bath in army fatigues? 19 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,810 Yeah, like, who is the audience? 20 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,771 Anyone who couldn't get tickets to literally anything else. 21 00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:05,397 [BOTH LAUGH] 22 00:01:05,522 --> 00:01:06,858 Totally. But actually, honey, 23 00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,777 you know, now that you're with the Bat family, 24 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:11,488 you probably shouldn't stay at the evilest resort in Vegas. 25 00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,448 No, no, no. No, I miss you. 26 00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:14,741 I miss staying up all night, 27 00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:16,368 you know, getting into erotic mischief, 28 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:17,702 feeding each other baby carrots. 29 00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:20,705 - Yeah, girl! - Let's go to Vegas! 30 00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:23,625 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 31 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,590 - [DINGING] - [COINS JINGLING] 32 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,718 [PEOPLE GROANING] 33 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:35,887 Okay, dial extension three if you need goons... 34 00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:37,889 - [HARLEY] Ooh! - Four for guns, knives, tanks, 35 00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:40,140 and five for fresh towels. 36 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,393 [GASPS] Oh, the grenades are chocolate, 37 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,186 but the chocolates are grenades. 38 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:44,604 Gonna save this for later. [CHUCKLES] 39 00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:47,190 Would you like me to have your suite pre-tarped 40 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:50,235 before you deal with your hostage? Er, victim? 41 00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:51,569 Hey, you suck at whispering. 42 00:01:51,652 --> 00:01:53,154 - I am her girlfriend. - [WOMAN] Hmm. 43 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:55,824 Let me know if you need anything at all. 44 00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,450 Oh! Actually, uh, we do. 45 00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,828 We'd love a pair of tickets to the Clayface show. 46 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:02,163 We should probably just check it out while we're here, right? 47 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,249 [LAUGHS] That show's been sold out for months. 48 00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:05,750 [BOTH LAUGHING] 49 00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:08,086 Oh, wait. Are you serious? For real? 50 00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:09,169 - But good news... - [STARROS CHITTERING] 51 00:02:09,253 --> 00:02:11,589 Mr. Face generously invited you 52 00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:14,300 to his pre-show pool party this afternoon. 53 00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:15,677 Ah, very subtle. 54 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,595 I'm just gonna have Nora handle the tickets. 55 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,764 Complimentary Blood-of-Your-Enemies shooter? 56 00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:22,434 Yours has some of your fourth grade math teacher's. 57 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:25,020 Oh. To the best weekend ever. 58 00:02:25,021 --> 00:02:26,062 [BOTH] Whoo! 59 00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:27,313 Ow! 60 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,524 So what should we do first? [GASPS] Ooh! 61 00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:31,401 - We should see that show Fall. - [PHONE VIBRATING] 62 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:34,863 The aerial circus show with the spikes instead of safety nets? 63 00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:38,324 Uh, you know what would be so unexpected and subversive? 64 00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,368 Going to see the glass-blown ceiling garden 65 00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:42,871 designed by famous blind artist Dale Chihuly. 66 00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,414 And on the way back, 67 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,416 we stop at the M&M's store, scoop a couple L.B.'s? 68 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:49,293 I know a candy-coated chocolate makes you horny. 69 00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:51,963 - Oh! - [BOTH MOANING] 70 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,423 Should I call for tarp? 71 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,301 [FIREWORKS] 72 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:05,685 [GRUNTING] 73 00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:12,484 I want that one with the fat ass! [LAUGHS] 74 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:15,779 - [ELEVATOR DINGS] - Ugh. So sorry we had to wait in line for three hours. 75 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:19,115 Hey, at least we got to see that M&M's through the years display. 76 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,909 Pretty fun to see the tan ones, huh? 77 00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:22,619 Yeah, no, totally. 78 00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:25,997 I also loved hearing so many babies screaming in line. 79 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:30,001 Ah, free guns! What? And with airbrushing? Oh! 80 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:33,380 - [PHONE BUZZES] - [GROANS] 81 00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:35,340 Do... Do you wanna deal with that, or... 82 00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:37,841 No. Work can wait. I don't wanna interrupt these sexy party vibes! 83 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,053 Ma'am, is this hero bothering you? 84 00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:41,721 Oh, shit, King! 85 00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:43,055 Green Goddess! 86 00:03:43,180 --> 00:03:46,643 Tabitha, you remember my boss and my former boss. 87 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:48,853 I told you, this is my babymoon. 88 00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:50,730 I wanna fuck a magician. 89 00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:52,273 Uh, yes, ma'am. 90 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:55,235 Tabitha and our nine unborn children are here to party. 91 00:03:55,360 --> 00:04:00,031 And I'm here to support them in whatever way is least annoying to her. 92 00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:01,658 Ugh! Cover your gills. 93 00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:03,743 I can feel you breathing on my hammer. 94 00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:06,037 Uh, Miss Ivy, Elvis has requested you join him 95 00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:08,707 for some white rhino bone marrow in his cabana. 96 00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,083 Oh, okay. 97 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:11,710 I mean, it is Elvis. 98 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,420 [CHUCKLING] Well, of course. 99 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:19,634 Harley, I'm worried Tabitha won't let me co-parent with her. 100 00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:21,803 And I want to be part of these sharks' lives. 101 00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:24,681 Yeah, that's a tough one. She seems to hate you. 102 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:27,642 Yo, hook me up with a couple of those green ones. 103 00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:32,731 Chocolate? I thought they were benzos! 104 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:35,734 [GAGS] I need to get this taste out of my mouth. 105 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,112 [GROANS] 106 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,363 Uh, I'm sorry. 107 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:41,740 Should you be smoking cigarettes 108 00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:43,116 since you're, like, extremely pregnant? 109 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,409 Don't humansplain my body to me. 110 00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:47,078 Yeah, you heard her! 111 00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:50,206 Would it kill you to look up "shark placenta"? 112 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,791 Mmm-hmm. 113 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,336 Now scram! 114 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,755 Should... Should I check on our fruit medley? 115 00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:59,466 You know that famous gumbo from my kingdom? 116 00:04:59,591 --> 00:05:02,093 Of course! Hakarl gumbo! [CHUCKLES] 117 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:05,555 I mean, there's a beloved folk song about how hard it is to make. 118 00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,891 Yeah, I want that. 119 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,100 [SIGHS WEARILY] 120 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:12,562 My brood's wish is my command. 121 00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:14,814 Hey, how was Elvis? 122 00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:16,608 Wait, no, no. How was the white rhino? 123 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,526 - No, wait, Elvis first! - Um, ugh on both, actually. 124 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,570 But you know who never underwhelms? 125 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,572 Benjamin fuckin' Franklin! 126 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,157 Okay! Who should we bet on? 127 00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:25,283 [SHRIEKS] 128 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,701 [CROWD CHEERING] 129 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,745 I wish I could bet on this death match. 130 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:30,778 Bad odds with Rag Doll's loose stitching, 131 00:05:30,779 --> 00:05:32,290 but I do like his wiry energy. 132 00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:33,415 [CROWD CHEERING] 133 00:05:33,457 --> 00:05:35,126 [GRUNTING] 134 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,051 [GRUNTS] 135 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,886 [SCREAMING] 136 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,767 [CHEERING] 137 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,977 [EXCLAIMS] Wait, no one saw me cheering for this, right? 138 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,562 [PHONE BUZZING] 139 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,815 Hey, so where are we with the, uh, Clayface tickets? 140 00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:58,483 I can get backstage with Celine, 141 00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:01,194 a meet and greet with Britney, but nada for Clayface. 142 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:03,071 I mean, can't you just ask him? 143 00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,823 Yeah. No, I can't do that. 144 00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:08,076 I may have ignored a few emails that he may have sent 145 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,161 specifically about this exact subject, 146 00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:11,245 so just keep trying. 147 00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,997 Wow! Even I have tickets. 148 00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:19,123 I guess CEO stands for "Can't Even do" capital "O" shit. 149 00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:22,340 Uh, ew. No. Troll. 150 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,342 I already have tickets, man. 151 00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:27,095 I'm just... I need extra tickets in case I want seats for our purses. 152 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:30,015 Yeah, very cool obvious lies, 153 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:32,475 so I got to ask, what's with the narc? 154 00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:35,353 This party is for hotties and villskies only. 155 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:39,691 For your FYI, I'm having a very fun, very villlski time, 156 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,651 within the limits of my new occupation. 157 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:44,988 [SCOFFS] The Harley I know would have flicked my taint 158 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,781 for even questioning her. 159 00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:48,241 - [HARLEY GRUNTS] - [GROANS] 160 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,869 Help! [GASPS] 161 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,621 - [HARLEY GRUNTING] - [COUGHING] 162 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:56,707 The Harley I know would have let me drown. 163 00:06:56,832 --> 00:06:59,586 You know what? I actually need to run back to our room for a sec. 164 00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:00,879 Can't let our bounty melt! 165 00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,464 Are you sure you don't want to stay? 166 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,215 We could get, like, matching pedicures. 167 00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:05,884 Well, I guess I could. 168 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,470 [CHITTERS] 169 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,055 [GLASS BREAKS] 170 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,557 [GASPS] 171 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,060 Um, you stay. I'm fine. 172 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,937 You deserve to be pampered by these evil cuties. [CHUCKLES] 173 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:19,397 Okay, cool. 174 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:20,815 [ROARS] 175 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,108 Yes! 176 00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:24,569 - Make that pool noodle cry. - [MAN WHIMPERS, SCREAMS] 177 00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,196 - Whoo! - [CROWD CHEERING] 178 00:07:26,197 --> 00:07:27,238 [HELICOPTER WHIRRING] 179 00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:29,949 [RHYTHMIC MUSIC PLAYING] 180 00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,959 [PEOPLE EXCLAIMING, CLAMORING] 181 00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:42,045 Oh, kisses at you! 182 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,128 Kiss, kiss. 183 00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:45,507 Oh, for dick's sake. 184 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,093 - [CLAMORING] - You look gorgeous! 185 00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,427 Ugh. 186 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:55,100 Well, well, if it isn't my old so-and-so, Poison Ivy. 187 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,433 No, good, I'm good. 188 00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,186 - Don't need any... - Whoo! 189 00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,313 I fucking love you, Clayface! 190 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,816 Ha! I love you too, sweetie! 191 00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,235 See you at tonight's show, I assume. 192 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,779 Unless, you don't have tickets. 193 00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:10,115 Oh, we're good. Yeah, we got tickets. 194 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:13,952 Front row, orchestra seats six and seven, actually. 195 00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,495 Splendid! 196 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:19,124 I look forward to seeing you there in those exact seats. 197 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:22,293 Ga-Ga, darling! I got the flowers! 198 00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:27,132 How did you know I was a gladiola girl? [LAUGHING] 199 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,300 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 200 00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:31,469 [CROWD CHEERING] 201 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:34,972 [ANNOUNCER] Coming at you live from the yard at Blackgate Penitentiary, 202 00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:39,477 let's make some noise for DJ Daddy'$ Money! 203 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:43,188 Is that motherfucking Bruce Wayne? 204 00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:45,608 [GRUNTS] 205 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,485 Bruce is in prison and still gets to be a shitty daytime deejay, 206 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:50,989 but I can't even enjoy Vegas with my sumptuous life partner? 207 00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:53,408 I'll tell you why he gets to be a shitty deejay. 208 00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:57,203 Think about it. Bruce and Batman are two different people. 209 00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,997 [GASPS] Of course! 210 00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:01,499 Superheroes all have secret identities. 211 00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,960 All my identities are public! 212 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,963 If you had an alter ego, you could party with Ivy 213 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,841 without getting in trouble with the Bat family. 214 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,926 Do you have a breath mint? 215 00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:13,010 [RETCHING] 216 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,262 Don't want any of those shrimp tails 217 00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:15,972 to get caught in your pretty pink hair. 218 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,265 All right. Are we doing this? 219 00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,517 I've always wanted to party in Vegas. 220 00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:21,102 So many people to analyze! 221 00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,521 Oh, no, you're not coming out, four-eyes. 222 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:25,148 This is a job for... 223 00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:28,526 Hargret. 224 00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:29,903 Yes! 225 00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:32,697 Do not leave me in the mirror, you skank! 226 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,657 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 227 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:40,162 [GUN CLICKS] 228 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:46,961 - [GUN CLICKING] - [PEOPLE EXCLAIMING] 229 00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:49,881 [GUNSHOT] 230 00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:55,387 Throw down, you bouncy little bitch! 231 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,889 - [PEOPLE CHEERING] - [MAN LAUGHING, CHEERING] 232 00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,391 Whoa! 233 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:02,644 [GRUNTS] 234 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,315 [MAN YELPING] 235 00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:13,238 [BOTH MOAN] 236 00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:14,363 [GRUNTS] 237 00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:16,199 How dare you cheat on me? 238 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,409 It's me, Harley Quinn. 239 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,202 Yeah, sweetie, I know. You're wearing my bra. 240 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,329 This is just my natural perk, baby. 241 00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,956 So I love this whole vibe. 242 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:24,791 But are you going to get in trouble with the Bat family 243 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,668 for, like, everything that you're doing right now? 244 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,545 Harley might. But Hargret will not. 245 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,255 Okay, I like the sound of that. 246 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,381 [CHUCKLING] 247 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,590 Now we can party like we used to. 248 00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:34,551 I'm talking jugs out, rugs out, 249 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,762 steal a car just to crash it into an even nicer car. 250 00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:40,765 Well, bitch, I can't argue with your logic 251 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,434 or your legendary rack. 252 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,103 Then we'll go get those fuckin' Clayface tickets, baby. 253 00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:47,897 - Whoo! - Let's fucking ride. 254 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,315 [PHONE BUZZING] 255 00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:50,650 [GRUNTING] 256 00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:54,362 Fuck yeah! 257 00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:56,448 [SNORTING] 258 00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,450 [EXHALES] Hah! 259 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:02,620 Bar man! [CHUCKLING] 260 00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:06,458 Ha! I hear you're the guy to talk to about some primo Columbian. 261 00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:08,418 I am so that guy! 262 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:12,130 Wanna do some bumpies behind the "And Just Like That" slot machine? 263 00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:15,342 I was thinking someplace a little more soundproof, 264 00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:16,843 like your room. [GIGGLES] 265 00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:19,012 - My room? - Mmm-hmm. 266 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:22,140 All right, gumbo. I can do this. 267 00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:25,226 [CHILDREN'S CHOIR SONG PLAYING OVER HEADPHONES] 268 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:28,521 Hey, I hear you deal in exotic rarities. 269 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,440 Yes. But it's gonna cost you. 270 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:34,486 Ew! Ugh! Damn! This is supposed to be a hotel! 271 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,905 Why aren't people having sex in their room? 272 00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:39,157 [SONG CONTINUES PLAYING] 273 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:48,875 [WOMAN] Ow! 274 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:53,337 [GROANS] 275 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,174 Oh! [CHUCKLES] 276 00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:59,177 Onions? Well, I have those in the room. 277 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,345 - [KING SHARK CHUCKLES] - Hmm? 278 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:01,428 Hello, ma'am. 279 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,598 - [MERMAID SCREAMING] - I'm sorry! 280 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:04,682 [MERMAID GROANS] 281 00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:06,476 It'll grow back, right? 282 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,062 Yeah. [CHUCKLES] 283 00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:10,855 Front desk messed up my res. 284 00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:13,233 I usually get a super baller room. 285 00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:14,359 [BOTH GRUNT] 286 00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:16,361 [GRUNTS] Can we do it on the other bed? 287 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,071 - This is my eating bed. - [DOOR OPENS] 288 00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:22,200 - [HARLEY GRUNTS] - Whoa! 289 00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,536 Give me your Clayface tickets or I'll fucking kill you. 290 00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:27,038 I don't have them! I swear! 291 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:29,249 - [GRUNTS] - [SNIFFING] He's lying. 292 00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:30,458 Ow! 293 00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:32,002 No, I'm not! 294 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,379 I was gonna dress up as a bellhop and ambush a guy. 295 00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:35,672 Bullshit. What guy? 296 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,716 Some hick who won a radio contest. 297 00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:39,732 He's supposed to meet the concierge 298 00:12:39,733 --> 00:12:41,469 at 5:00 p.m. to pick up the tickets. 299 00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,388 - Should we kill him? - I have a better idea. 300 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,392 Hope you're not a mouth breather. 301 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:48,852 [MUFFLED GRUNTS] 302 00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,228 [MUFFLED SCREAMING] 303 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,604 [ELEVATOR DINGS] 304 00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:53,565 [BOTH LAUGHING] 305 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:56,401 How long do you think it'll take him to realize it's just chocolate? 306 00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,570 [CHUCKLES] What? What's happening right now? 307 00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:02,490 That ill-fitting polyester is, uh, kind of doing it for me. 308 00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:05,285 Is it? Okay. [CHUCKLES] 309 00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:06,745 [BOTH MOANING] 310 00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:08,413 [BELL RINGS] 311 00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:11,583 How come yours is tear away and mine has, like, 30 buttons! 312 00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:13,835 [BOTH GIGGLING] 313 00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:16,004 Oh, that tickles. 314 00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:18,757 [BOTH] I fucking love Vegas! 315 00:13:18,882 --> 00:13:21,843 [FIREWORKS] 316 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:26,097 Oh, my God. I mean, we have done a lot of freaky foreplay, 317 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,141 but it was, like, particularly awesome. 318 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:29,392 I mean, you've never done 319 00:13:29,393 --> 00:13:32,020 that flip-reverse-two-handed move before. Whoo! 320 00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:34,773 Can we bring Hargret back to Gotham or what? 321 00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:36,274 - Um... - I mean, not like... 322 00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:38,026 Obviously not instead of you. I... 323 00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:39,527 Yeah. No, no, I know. 324 00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:43,114 [BELL RINGS] 325 00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:44,491 All right, let's get these fucking tickets. 326 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,753 Hold up. It's a cancer kid? 327 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,713 Look, maybe the mom has Munchausens. 328 00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:00,632 She's the real monster here. 329 00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:01,903 Right. Let's just take his parents' tickets 330 00:14:01,904 --> 00:14:03,927 - and go to the show with him. - No, we can't do that. 331 00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,553 We need the third seat for our purses. 332 00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:13,103 Ha-ha! 333 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:16,815 - [PEOPLE CHEERING] - 'Tis I, the elusive chanteuse 334 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,566 Clayface. 335 00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:20,568 ? La, la, la, la ? 336 00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,070 Wait, where's my son? 337 00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:24,197 You twisted little freak. 338 00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:26,574 - I knew you didn't have tickets. - [GRUNTS] 339 00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:28,326 All you had to do was reply 340 00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:32,622 to one of the baker's dozens of emails and texts 341 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:35,165 I sent about my show. 342 00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,877 Oh, what's a few unread texts between friends? 343 00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:41,339 - No one cares for your opinion, stranger. - [GRUNTS] 344 00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,383 You think you can swan in here 345 00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:47,262 and swing your big boss dick around and get anything you want? 346 00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:51,641 I have eyes and ears and Ramonas everywhere. 347 00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,977 Dial six if you feel like a fool. 348 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,353 [POISON IVY GROANS] 349 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,647 You get one residency, and suddenly you're all, 350 00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:01,526 "Ooh, la, la, I'm Clayface. I'm a big, uh, diva." 351 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:05,238 You dare call moi a diva? [LAUGHING] 352 00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:07,240 Do you know who you're fucking talking to right now? 353 00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:09,576 Do you know who you're talking to? 354 00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:10,702 Yeah. 355 00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:11,827 I do. 356 00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:13,997 - Boop. - [GASPS, GROWLS] 357 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,999 [MAN GRUNTS] 358 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:19,210 Hey, babe, can we, uh, sidebar away from all these innocent bystanders? 359 00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,547 [BOTH GRUNTING] 360 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:25,342 [PEOPLE SCREAMING] 361 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,015 [GRUNTS] 362 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:39,564 Hope you sing better than you throw, bitch. 363 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:40,647 [GROANING] 364 00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:43,568 Nom, nom, nom, nom... 365 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:44,651 Not again! 366 00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:47,155 Villains are destroying the buffet. 367 00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:49,074 Someone call a hero! 368 00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:51,034 Ooh, my hero instincts. 369 00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:52,619 [SCREAMING] 370 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,080 [PEOPLE CLAMORING] 371 00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:57,374 [GASPS] 372 00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:01,377 [GRUNTS] 373 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:05,631 [SHRIEKING] 374 00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:08,176 [GRUNTING] 375 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:11,096 And that's why you always bet on Bat. 376 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,681 - [SLOT MACHINE BEEPING] - Yes! 377 00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,563 Hey! Cut this shit out! 378 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,274 Harley! I hate to be the bearer of bad news, 379 00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:25,068 but I also kind of love it. 380 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:28,655 Ivy is stepping out on you with a Vegas-six in a tacky pink wig. 381 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:31,616 Okay, Hargret's at least a Gotham eight. 382 00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:32,826 [GRUNTING] 383 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,661 Ugh, get out of my way, Harls! 384 00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:37,372 Do you really wanna kill a bunch of innocent people over tickets? 385 00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,790 - Absolutely! - More than anything. 386 00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:42,752 [GRUNTING] 387 00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:47,090 [POISON IVY GRUNTS] 388 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,883 What happened to being my supportive girlfriend? 389 00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:49,968 Sorry, Ive. 390 00:16:50,093 --> 00:16:51,636 [SCREAMING] 391 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,641 - [PHONE BUZZING] - [STARROS CHITTER] 392 00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:01,813 Okay, look, dude. Mazel on the show. 393 00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:03,565 We're super proud of you, even though we would never tell you. 394 00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:07,652 Easy to say now that I am a bona fide success! 395 00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:08,819 The gall! 396 00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,280 I may not even go on tonight 397 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:13,324 after what you bitches bedraggled through. 398 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,492 Listen, listen! You're mad, I get it, okay? 399 00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:16,994 But you should know that your rage 400 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,830 is making your forehead wrinkles pop. 401 00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,665 [GASPS] Don't look at me! 402 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,376 [WHIMPERING] 403 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,588 Is this your card? 404 00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:28,088 No! 405 00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:30,342 Shit. No? Okay, hold on. 406 00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:32,677 Take it off, magic boy! 407 00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:34,179 [PANTS] I did it! 408 00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:35,513 I got the gumbo! 409 00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:37,098 What? How? 410 00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:39,225 Who cares? Give it to me. 411 00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:42,729 [TABITHA GROANS] 412 00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:44,397 Things are happening. 413 00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:46,941 Baby things? Or is it the soup? 414 00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:48,860 The soup is supposed to induce labor. 415 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,612 What? That's not in the song. 416 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:53,365 Ugh. You must have listened to the radio edit. 417 00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,408 All right, who's gonna be my next victim? 418 00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:57,285 I mean, [CHUCKLES] volunteer. 419 00:17:57,369 --> 00:17:59,537 - Me? - What? 420 00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:03,041 [SCOFFS] Look, you know I could get out of this if I wanted to. 421 00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:05,418 I know, but I needed you to calm down. 422 00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:06,878 Shit was getting out of hand. 423 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:10,215 I was getting out of hand? LOL. Okay, Hargret. 424 00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,133 Listen, I'm sorry. 425 00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:14,219 I didn't know how to bring the new me to our relationship. But... 426 00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:18,348 Oh, yeah, baby, I, I just don't really care about the tickets. 427 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:19,808 I just got worried. 428 00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:21,685 Like, what do we have to connect over 429 00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:25,063 if we can't even make fun of Clayface's show? 430 00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:27,482 [TABITHA GROANING] 431 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,528 Is this your card? 432 00:18:31,529 --> 00:18:32,570 [GROANS] 433 00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:35,073 Is anyone in the audience a doctor? 434 00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:37,242 A marine biologist? 435 00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:40,537 No? What... What about a shark doula? 436 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,124 [GROANING] 437 00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:47,085 There, there. Is this soothing? 438 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:49,504 - Do you feel soothed? - [GROANS] 439 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:52,048 Harley! You two are real ones! 440 00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:53,383 I'm so happy you're here. 441 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,926 I'm gonna need you to push. 442 00:18:55,010 --> 00:18:59,180 I am pushing, you sexy top-hatted shitbag! 443 00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:00,640 She is pushing! 444 00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:02,434 - I see a fin! - [GROANING] 445 00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:06,604 [TABITHA GRUNTING] 446 00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:12,736 That's eight. Wait, nine's still in there 447 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:13,862 Push, Mama, push! 448 00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:16,531 I'm not your Mama! [GROANS] 449 00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:20,452 - [GASPS] He's not breathing. - What? 450 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,913 [WHIMPERING] 451 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:26,790 [GASPS] 452 00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,169 [ALL GASP] 453 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:38,511 [COUGHS] 454 00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,264 [AUDIENCE GASP] 455 00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:43,641 Is this your card? 456 00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:45,310 That's my card! 457 00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:47,520 - [CHEERING] - [TABITHA] That's my card! 458 00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:52,650 [TABITHA LAUGHING] 459 00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:59,282 It is I, the missing piece of your friendship pie. 460 00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:00,658 Save it for your show! 461 00:20:00,784 --> 00:20:03,036 To celebrate this momentous day, 462 00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:08,333 I am gifting these new bebes front row seats to my show. 463 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,502 - [AUDIENCE CHEERING] - [LAUGHING] 464 00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:13,296 - Fuck you. - You bitch. 465 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,965 Now, as written in our great sea laws, 466 00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:18,932 the two dykes in closest proximity 467 00:20:18,933 --> 00:20:21,513 to the birth shall be the godparents. 468 00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:23,890 Hey, but screw tradition. [CHUCKLES] 469 00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:25,308 Harley and Ivy, 470 00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:27,852 would you do us the honor of being godmothers? 471 00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:30,355 - Fuck yeah! - Of course, we'll be godparents. 472 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,358 Okay, well, I'm gonna jet back under the sea now. 473 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,441 What do you mean? 474 00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:36,319 I wanna co-parent. 475 00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:38,071 We are gonna co-parent. 476 00:20:38,196 --> 00:20:41,658 I'm taking the first born and you can have the rest or whatever. 477 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:45,620 You took care of me today so I think you'll be an okay Dad. 478 00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:47,706 - [CHUCKLES] - Peace. 479 00:20:52,627 --> 00:20:53,627 Ive. 480 00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:55,213 - What? Say it. - I shouldn't... 481 00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:57,007 Well, now you... Honey, you've gotta say something now. 482 00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:00,802 Okay? Those sharklings are like fugly. 483 00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,596 [GASPS] Oh, my fucking God! Thank you. 484 00:21:03,722 --> 00:21:07,058 I, I'm just so glad I'm not the only full grown asshole. 485 00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:10,270 Mine was, like, wet, but also, like, sticky? 486 00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:11,896 So sticky! 487 00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:14,607 [LAUGHS] I mean, that one looks like a booger, right? 488 00:21:14,733 --> 00:21:16,484 [LAUGHS] 489 00:21:16,568 --> 00:21:18,401 Oh, my God. This one's just like a pair of googly eyes 490 00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:19,404 stuck on a flaccid dong. 491 00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:21,698 He always has his eye on you. 492 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,825 - Or is that his tooth? - Oh, my God. 493 00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:26,911 Yeah, the little one looked like it was old and young 494 00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:30,081 and like, dead and alive, all at the same time. 495 00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:33,084 Like a little baby Benjamin Button with fins. 496 00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:35,545 - [BOTH LAUGH] - Yes! Yes! 497 00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:40,091 Ive, I decided to move in with the Bat family. 498 00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:41,885 Whoa, what? 499 00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:44,429 It's just too hard to integrate my new job into my old life. 500 00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:45,513 I need to immerse myself 501 00:21:45,597 --> 00:21:48,058 in pure uncut hero culture 502 00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:49,726 until it becomes second nature. 503 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:52,270 Yeah. Okay. Go... Go for it. 504 00:21:52,354 --> 00:21:53,605 - Really? - Yeah. 505 00:21:53,688 --> 00:21:58,193 I mean, this is us figuring out how to make 506 00:21:58,276 --> 00:22:00,403 our new jobs work, right? 507 00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:02,280 Just, um, don't take too long. 508 00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:04,491 - [CHUCKLES] - Mmm. 509 00:22:04,616 --> 00:22:05,950 Oh, I almost forgot! 510 00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:09,204 I picked up a little something at the buffet. 511 00:22:09,287 --> 00:22:11,790 Oh, God, no. This one looks like one of the babies. 512 00:22:11,915 --> 00:22:15,752 [LAUGHS] Oh, no! It does! The striped one. 513 00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:19,089 - [HARLEY] Open up. - [BOTH LAUGH] 514 00:22:19,139 --> 00:22:23,689 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37109

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