All language subtitles for Ghost.World.2001.720p.BluRay.x264.[YTS.MX]-English

High school is like
the training wheels...

for the bicycle of real life.

It is a time when
young people can explore...

different fields of interests...

and hopefully learn
from their experiences.

In coming to terms
with my own personal setback...

I have been able to learn...

that I don't need to rely
on drugs and alcohol...

and that I'm very lucky...

that more people
besides myself and Kerry...

weren't injured in the accident.

And I have learned...

that to overcome
life's obstacles...

you need faith, hope...

and above all, a sense of humor.

No more education

It's time for celebration

'Cause this is the day
of our high school graduation

We've stayed for the duration

Achieved matriculation

Now we're the newest members
of the general population

God, what a bunch of retards.

God, I know.
I thought that chipmunk face...

was never going to shut up.

I know.
I liked her so much better...

when she was
an alcoholic crack addict.

She gets in one car wreck...

and all of the sudden
she's Little Miss Perfect...

and everyone loves her.

Let's see if they gave me
the right diploma.

- What?
- What?

These assholes are saying
I have to go to summer school...

and take some stupid art class.

Why?

God, I didn't think that
just because you get an "F"...

you have to take the whole class
over again.

Loser.

Wow. This is so bad,
it's almost good.

This is so bad, it's gone past
good and back to bad again.

At least
we'll never have to see...

any of these creepy faces
ever again.

Unless they're
in your summer school class.

Shut up.

- Don't turn around.
- What? Why?

- Don't turn around.
- Damn it.

Oh, my God. You guys,
I can't believe we made it.

Yeah.
We graduated high school.

How totally amazing.

So, what are you guys
doing this summer?

Nothing.

Well, I'm going
to this actor's workshop...

and I'm hoping
to start auditions soon.

Oh, we have to get together
this summer.

Yeah.
That'll definitely happen.

Well, bye, you guys.

Congratulations!

- Hey, Rebecca.
- Oh, hi.

So, we finally--

What about me?
Am I not even here?

Hey, Enid.

- So, we finally made it, huh?
- Yeah.

So, where are you going to go
to college?

We're not.

Really?

Both of you? Why not?

Just because.

Yeah, we made other plans.

I guess
I should have figured...

that you two
would do something different.

So, Todd, what are you
going to be when you grow up?

Well, I'm majoring
in Business Administration...

and thinking of minoring
in Communications, so--

See, that's exactly the type
of thing we're trying to avoid.

Look at this.

Is Stacy Himmler
going out with Rod Harbaugh?

Oh, God. How perfect.

He better watch out, or he'll
get AIDS when he date-rapes her.

Where is the love

You said you'd give to me

As soon as you were free?

Will it ever be?

God, just think.
We'll never see Dennis again.

Good.

No, really.
Think about that.

It's actually
totally depressing.

Is it crazy for an oil company
to care about the environment?

We don't think so.

I already told you
I'm not going to college.

I think it's a good idea
to keep all your options open.

You can even enroll
in the winter quarter.

Actually, you could live here...

and go to the city college
part time...

and still get a job if you want.

Look at me.
I'm not even listening...

to a word you're saying.

Did I tell you who I ran into
at the bagel place?

Who?

- Guess.
- How should I know?

Well, someone from the past.

- Who?
- You give up?

- Yes.
- Maxine.

- Not the Maxine?
- Yeah.

Oh, God. How horrifying.

It's very good.

Jesus.

Check out these people
behind you.

I'm totally convinced
they're Satanists.

So when are we gonna start
looking for our apartment?

Soon.

I have to wait and see how
this summer class goes first.

God, it's so weird that we're
finally out of high school.

We've been waiting for this
our whole lives.

It's such a weird feeling.

Yeah.
It hasn't really hit me yet.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't Enid and Rebecca--

the little Jewish girl
and her Aryan friend.

- You're late, asshole.
- Fine, and how are you?

Did you bring the tape?

You never paid me for that tape
of the Indian dance routine.

Yes, I did.

You Jews
are so clever with money.

Fuck you!
You stupid redneck hick.

Oh, my God.
Look, the Satanists are leaving.

Hey, we should follow them.

Oh, we totally have to.

Oh, my God!

So, what do you do
if you're a Satanist, anyway?

Sacrifice virgins and stuff.

Well, that lets us off the hook.

How the hell
did we get so far behind them?

I don't know.
That's just great.

- Jesus!
- Oh, yay.

Oh, my God. Look at this.

"Wowsville"?
Authentic Fifties diner?

Since when were there mini-malls
in the 1950s?

Who could forget this great hit
from the Fifties, huh?

I feel as though
I've stepped into a time warp.

Hey, check out the awesome
Fifties hairdo on our waiter.

Hi.
My name is Allen...

and I'll be your waiter
this afternoon.

- Hi, Al.
- Can we call you "Weird Al"?

I'd imagine so.

You should check out
the personals.

Maybe our future husbands
are trying to contact us.

Here we go.

"Windsurfing doctor, Mensan IQ,
maverick Sagittarius.

"Let's hit the clubs,
make each other laugh."

You can have that one.

Jesus, listen to this one.

"Do you remember me,
airport shuttle, June 7?

"You, striking blond
with yellow dress...

"pearl necklace, brown shoes.

"I was the bookish fellow
in the green cardigan...

"who helped you find
your contact lens.

"Am I crazy,
or did we have a moment?"

God, that's so pathetic.

I mean, she probably
didn't even notice him.

And he's psychotically obsessing
over every little detail.

We should call him
and pretend to be the blond.

Oh, we totally have to.

It's his machine.

Hi, it's me.

Your striking blond.

Of course I remember you.

Let's get together for lunch
sometime.

How about Friday at 1:00?

Meet me at my favorite
restaurant-- Wowsville.

It's in the mall
on Century Parkway.

See you there, darling.

Oh, yeah, and be sure to wear
that sexy green cardigan.

Oh, it's that comedian
I was telling you about.

- I still live with my mother.
- He's the absolute worst.

So what if she's been dead
for fifteen years?

See?
That's barely even a joke.

Well, it's like I always say--

take my life...please.

Joey McCobb, the weirdest man
in show business.

If he's so weird,
how come he's wearing Nikes?

Joey McCobb is our god.

- I want to do him.
- I bet.

Actually,
he kind of reminds me...

of that one guy
you went out with-- Larry.

God,
what look was he going for...

a gay tennis player
from the Forties?

- Fuck you.
- You dated him.

Why do you have this?

I don't know. You lent it to me
in, like, tenth grade.

Oh, look at how cute I am.

What a little hose bag.

Look, there's my dad
with Maxine.

God, look at her.
What a fucking monster.

If he starts dating her again,
I'll kill myself.

Listen, lady, you tell me
you want to relax your hair.

Sing it a lullaby or use this.
It's all I've got.

Hey, what you doing?

You have five minutes
left on your shift.

Well, hello there, young
employee of the Sidewinder.

Look, I already told you guys,
I'm not giving you a ride.

What can you tell me,
young man...

about the various flavors
of frozen yogurt?

I'll be done in a minute.
Can you guys just wait outside?

I don't understand.
I simply wish to know--

Josh, what are you doing?

In addition to our favorites,
chocolate and vanilla...

this week we are featuring
six-gun strawberry...

wild cherry roundup,
and ten-gallon tangerine.

I don't believe
I care for any of those.

What's up, Josh? Give me
two packs of cigarettes today.

Working overtime. Sixteen hours.

And nature's nectar,
wake-up Juice.

And give me
six of these beef jerkys.

I'm hungry enough to chew
the crotch out of a rag doll.

Hey! Hey, you!

How many times I tell you?
No shirt, no service.

Get the hell out of my store.

What do you think this is,
Club Med?

It's America, dude.
Learn the rules.

No, you learn the rules.
We Greeks invented democracy.

- You also invented homos.
- Fuck you.

You wish.
You got to buy me dinner first.

So...

Can we talk about this
in a minute?

Seriously, I'm, like,
this close to being done.

Son of a bitch.

What do you think you're doing?

Turn off that goddamn noise.

Rock 'n' roll, baby.
Freedom of speech.

What do you think this is,
Woodstock?

- That guy rules!
- Who, Doug?

That guy spends more time
in here than I do.

It's my parking lot!

So, Josh,
will you please give us a ride?

- Please, Josh?
- No.

- Please? It'll be super fun.
- Please, Josh?

Look, I don't see
why you guys even need a ride.

You could walk there
in two minutes.

It's just an excuse for us
to spend time with you, Josh.

If this guy freaks out,
will you protect us?

This guy
has every reason to freak out.

This is a pretty fucked up thing
to do to somebody.

I think Josh
is becoming too mature for us.

Oh, look, maybe that's him.

No. It's still
twenty-five minutes too early.

Aren't there
a million places like this?

No. This is the ultimate.

It's, like, the Taj Mahal
of fake Fifties diners.

So, where's the Weird AI guy?

There he is back there.

I can see his hair
bobbing up and down.

I want to make love to him.

I'm gonna tell him
you said that.

So nice to see you again,
ladies.

Hi, Weird Al.
My friend here has--

Shut up!

- She says she wants to--
- Shut up!

Oh, my God.

God, that is obviously him.

Oh, my God. He just ordered
a giant glass of milk.

That's a vanilla milkshake.

Oh, God,
this is totally unbearable.

Fucking asshole!
What's wrong with you?

Oh, my God. It's him.

- Can anybody drive?
- He's insane.

- We should follow him home.
- Forget it.

Come on, Josh. Don't you want
to see where this guy lives?

God, he lives
right in our neighborhood.

He doesn't even look
all that bummed out really.

I know.

Wouldn't he be, like,
totally pissed off?

This type of thing
must happen to him all the time.

Mirror, father, mirror.

That piece is entitled
"Mirror, Father, Mirror."

I like to show it...

to people that I'm meeting
for the first time...

because I think it says so much
about who I am...

and what it feels like
to inhabit my specific skin.

And this is exactly
what I'm hoping to get...

from each of you
over the course of this summer--

a picture
of your own self-exploration.

Now, my own background is
in video and performance art...

but I'm hoping that doesn't
influence you too much...

and you'll find your own ways
of externalizing the internal.

And at the end of the summer,
this class has been invited...

to participate
in a show of high school art...

at the neighborhood
activity center.

The title of the show will be...

"Brotherhood and Community:
Art as Dialogue."

Are there any questions so far?

Great!

This is really creepy.

We just need to find out
what apartment he's in...

and we'll stalk him
from a distance.

I'm afraid if I see him,
I'll feel really bad again.

This is girl mail.

This is computer catalogs
and stuff.

"The W.C. Fields Fan Club
Newsletter"?

Oh, my God. The National
Psoriasis Foundation?

- Bingo.
- Did you hear something?

Come on.

What if he recognizes us?

Eww, look at this.

Eww. Gross.

Kinda cute.

It looks like a gross rat.

That's a mongoose.

How much is it?

That's not officially for sale.

I might have to hang on to that
for the time being.

So, you looking for anything
in particular?

Do you have any other
old records besides these?

Seymour does.

Who does?

Oh, him. Seymour.

He's the man with the records.

Do you have
any old Indian records?

Indian records?

Yeah. You know, like, old Indian
1960s rock 'n' roll music.

I may have one Hindu 78...

in my collection
from the Twenties...

but it's not really for sale.

I don't really collect foreign.

Those are all 78s.
You play 78s?

Maybe not 78s,
but I can play regular records.

Well, there's
some good stuff in here.

- You like old music?
- Yeah, it's good.

There's some choice LPs
in here...

that reissue some really great
old blues stuff.

How about this one?
Is it any good?

No, that one's not so great.

Excuse me.

This is the one I'd recommend.

It's...

This track alone
by Memphis Minnie...

is worth about $500
if you own the original 78.

I know the guy
who owns the original...

and lent it for use
on this reissue.

Wow.

- How much is it?
- $1.75.

If you don't like it, you can
bring it back for a refund.

We're here every Saturday.

I'm sure it's OK.

Enjoy.

It was so cute
how he had his own little bags.

I thought
I was going to start crying.

Yeah, he should totally
just kill himself.

Oh, here's one.

But you have to share with a...

"nonsmoking feminist
and her two cats".

I don't know.
I kind of like him.

He's the exact opposite
of everything I really hate.

In a way,
he's such a clueless dork...

he's almost kind of cool.

That guy is many things,
but he's definitely not cool.

This would be good,
but there's no kitchen.

Yeah, but...
you know what I mean.

Not really.

Forget it.
I can't explain it.

Oh, my God.
What are you guys doing here?

What are you doing here,
Melorra?

My acting workshop
is across the street from here.

I'm just on my break.

Well, we won't keep you.

I love this place.

It's so, I don't know...
You know, funky.

So, what are you guys up to?

We're looking for apartments.

God, how cool.
Where are you moving?

We don't know yet.
That's why we're looking.

Somewhere downtown.

God, that's so exciting.

Oops, I should go.

Bye, you guys. Call me.
Bye.

Funky.

What, is she black now?

So, I was thinking that when
we look for our apartment...

we have to convince these people
that we're totally rich yuppies.

What are you talking about?

That's who people
want to rent to.

So all we have to do is buy
semi-expensive outfits...

and I think it's no big deal.

It'll be really fun.

Honey,
have you seen my blue spatula?

What, are you making pancakes?

Not if I can't find
that goddamn spatula.

That's just great.
When did you do that?

God, how long
have you been standing there?

Hey, look. There's the pants.

Where are we going?

Let's go hassle Josh.

Hassle?

- Oh, look, there he is.
- As always.

Waiting for the bus
that never comes.

I wonder
if he's just totally insane...

or he really thinks
the bus is coming?

Why don't you just ask him?

Hi. What's your name?

Norman.

- Are you waiting for a bus?
- Yes.

I hate to tell you this...

but they canceled this bus line
two years ago.

There are no more buses
on this street.

You don't know
what you're talking about.

Josh!

I bet he's in there jerking off.

I'll bet he never jerks off.

Yeah, he's beyond
human stuff like that.

Should we leave a note?

- Yeah. You got a pen?
- Yeah.

"Dear Josh,
we came by to fuck you...

"but you were not home.
Therefore, you are gay.

"Signed Tiffany and Amber."

- You're going to leave that?
- Why not?

Why do we have to go in here?
I hate this place.

Don't worry.
It'll only take a second.

Whoever told you
that bullshit about boiling...

is out of his mind.

Carpet beetles are the only way
to get flesh off a corpse.

I'm just telling you
what he said.

Don't you creeps
ever talk about anything nice?

Don't you ever talk about fluffy
kittens or the Easter Bunny?

Look who's talking,
Little Miss Badass.

Yeah, nice outfit.

Who are you supposed to be,
Cyndi Lauper?

Blow me, doofus.

Oh, my God.
Didn't they tell you?

- Tell me what?
- Punk rock is over.

I know it's over, asshole.

Want to fuck up the system?
Go to business school.

That's what I'm going to do.

Get a job
at some big corporation...

and, like, fuck things up
from the inside.

- You know, I'm not even trying--
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, do you have my money?

Oh, how punk.

You know that tape sucked,
by the way?

- So sorry if it offended Jew.
- Go die, asshole.

- Get a job.
- God, fuck you.

Can we go now?

You know, it's not like
I'm some modern punk, dickhead.

It's obviously a 1977
original punk rock look.

Johnny Fuckface over there
is too stupid to realize it.

I didn't really get it, either.

Everyone's too stupid.

It took me a while before I got
a chance to actually play it...

but once I heard that song,
it was like--

You liked it, huh?

There's
some really rare performances.

What about-- Did you like
the Memphis Minnie?

That was good, too.
The whole record was good...

but that one song,
"Devil Got My Woman..."

I mostly just keep playing that
over and over.

Do you have any other records
like that?

There are no other records
like that.

Actually, I have the original 78
in my collection.

It's one of maybe
five known copies.

Wow.

Yeah. Do you want to see it?

I can run upstairs
and get it.

Sure, yeah.

Watch my stuff.

Here we go. It's...

It's only about a B-minus.

It's got
an incipient lam crack...

but it plays decent
as I recall.

- Oops, I dropped it!
- Jeez!

I was only kidding.

Jesus, Seymour,
are you all right?

Yeah, it's just...

it's very valuable.

Now, last week, I asked you...

to try to create
a piece of artwork...

that responds to something
you have strong feelings about.

I merely want to help you
find...

the best way
to look within yourselves...

the best key
to your particular lock.

And it looks like we have some
really interesting work up here.

Thanks.

What can you tell us
about your piece...

Phillip?

It's about The Mutilator.

My goodness.

It's a really great
video game...

about a guy who kills people
with a big hammer.

Oh. I thought maybe this was
supposed to be your father.

What can you tell us
about this piece..

- Enid.
- Enid.

Well, it's kind of a diary,
I guess.

Colorful.

I think that Phillip and Enid
can help us to see that...

there are many different ways
we can express ourselves.

We can do things like these
cartoons that are amusing...

as a sort of
a light entertainment...

or we can do work
that is more serious...

in scope, in feeling,
and that deals with issues--

emotional,
spiritual, political...

of great importance.

Who is responsible for this?

I am.

Talk to us about it.

It's my response to the issue
of a woman's right to choose.

It's something
I feel super strongly about.

Isn't this
a wonderful piece, class?

This definitely falls into
that higher category of art...

I was speaking of earlier.

In a world where
nothing is what it seems...

in a time of uncertainty...

the future
is about to be placed...

Hello.
Welcome to Masterpiece Video.

How may I help you
this afternoon, sir?

I'm looking for a copy
of "8 1/2".

Is that a new release, sir?

No.
It's the classic Italian film.

Yes, sir.

I'll just check that
on the computer for you, sir.

Hello! How are you
young ladies this afternoon?

May I help you find
a particular Masterpiece movie?

No.

Yes, here it is.

"9 1/2 Weeks"
with Mickey Rourke.

That would be
in the erotic drama section.

No, not "9 1/2", "8 1/2".
The Fellini film.

How about this one?

Forget it.
I'm sure it sucks.

All these movies suck.

America's top critics agree--

"The Flower
That Drank The Moon..."

Let's get out of here.
This place makes me sick.

We have to do something fun
tonight.

It's my last weekend of freedom
before I start my stupid job.

I know a party
we could go to later.

Really? Where?

It's a surprise.

Some records
I will pay serious money for...

provided
that they're a sincere V-plus.

Other than that, I just prefer
to have them on CD.

But CDs will never have
the presence of an original 78.

Wrong. A digital transfer,
adequately mastered...

will sound identical
to the original.

Do you have a decent equalizer?

- I have a Klipsch 2B3.
- Obviously the problem.

You expect
a ten-band equalizer...

to impart
state-of-the-art sound?

Dream a little dream.
It's never gonna happen.

I totally, totally hate you.

Come on.
This is a fun party.

Erskine Hawkins and
his orchestra, do you have that?

That's nice, but no.

- "Golden Wedding"?
- Oh, I know that.

That's excellent.

What's the story with
the two cheerleaders over there?

They're Seymour's.

Seymour? No.
You got to be kidding me.

Don't worry about it. I've lived
with the guy for five years.

He's not getting any.
Neither are you.

Hey, you know what?
Listen to me, Joe, all right?

Let me tell you something,
Joe, OK?

You can't score a home run
without swinging the bat.

All right?
Physically impossible.

Watch and learn, padre.

How's it going, Adam?

There's a seat right there.

- Mind if I sit down?
- Yes.

Oh, man. That was cold.

You're all right.

You're pretty sharp.

You're wearing a green dress.
What are you, Irish?

I bet you're Irish.
What's your name?

- Melorra.
- Ah, Melorra.

So listen to me, Melorra.

Let me tell you something.

You seem like
an interesting chick.

What are you doing hanging here
with all these losers?

What do you say you and me
go hit some night spots?

Well, Melorra,
I'll be right back.

I'm gonna get a beer.

No, Enid, wait.

Hey, that's all right.

It has a large center hole
and a hair crack.

But the crack is so tight,
it's completely inaudible.

But a tight hair crack
is just that-- a crack.

I don't collect cracked records.

I only pay premium
on mint records.

Seymour, you know that.
Please.

So, what was all that about
enlarged holes and tight cracks?

I didn't think
you would have any interest...

in this get-together.

If you would have told me
you were coming...

I would have warned you it's not
like a real party or anything.

You're right about that.

So, is this
your record collection?

God, no. This is just junk
I have for sale.

- The record room is off limits.
- Really?

Here.

Are all these records?

I've got about 1,500 78s
at this point.

I've tried
to pare down my collection...

to just the essential.

Look at this room.

This is, like, my dream room.

Look at all this stuff.

You are, like,
the luckiest guy in the world.

I would kill
to have stuff like this.

Please.
Go ahead and kill me.

Oh, come on.
What are you talking about?

You think it's healthy
to obsessively collect things?

You can't connect
with other people...

so you fill your life
with stuff.

I'm just like all the rest of
these pathetic collector losers.

No, you're not.
You're a cool guy, Seymour.

Then how come I haven't had
a girlfriend in four years?

I can't even remember the last
time a girl talked to me.

I'm talking to you.

You know,
I bet there are tons of women...

who'd go out with you
in a minute.

I know I could get you a date
in, like, two seconds.

Good luck.

I mean it.
You leave everything to me...

I'm going to be your own
personal dating service.

Yeah, well, we should get back.

By the end of this summer...

you're going to be
up to your neck in pussy.

Jesus.

What about her?
Would you go out with her?

What kind of a question is that?

It's totally irrelevant,
because a girl like that...

would never be caught dead
with me.

Yeah,
but put that aside for now.

Would you go out with her?

I really didn't
get a good look at her.

Yes, you did. Whoa.

What about her? Are you
into girls with big tits?

Jesus.

I mean, as long as
she's not a complete imbecile...

and she's even
remotely attractive...

Hey, look, there's Norman.
Hi, Norman.

We need to find a place
where you can go...

to meet women
who share your interests.

Maybe I don't want to meet
someone who shares my interests.

I hate my interests.

List your five main interests
in order of importance.

I'd have to put
traditional jazz, blues...

and then ragtime
at the top of the list.

Right, so let's just say music.

That way, we only use up one.

All right.

Can we go in here for a second?
Just for a second.

Just stopping by to say hi.

This is my friend Seymour.

OK.
Well, we'll see you later, Josh.

Josh, what you goddamn doing?

Clean up that fucking mess!
Jesus.

So, was that your boyfriend?

Josh?
He's nobody's boyfriend.

He's just this guy that
Becky and I like to torture.

But do you...
Are you going out--

Oh, my God.
We have to go in here. Come on.

Yeah, sure. Very funny.

Come on. Please?

Becky and I
have been dying to go in here...

but we can never find any boys
to take us.

- I would really rather not.
- Come on. Please?

Just for a minute.
It'll be a riot.

- I don't think so.
- Please. Please.

Oh, my God.
Look at all these creeps.

OK. Can we go?

This place is a total riot.

What are you doing?

Oh, my God.

Who would actually have sex
with this thing?

"Corporate Slut".
Sophisticated.

Come on. Can we go?

Seymour, you have to lend me
the money to buy this.

I don't really have
a lot of money on me right now.

Come on, Seymour. Please?

I don't want this showing up
on a credit card statement.

I'll get put
on some weird mailing list.

- It's not that much.
- That's not the point.

Gimme all your money, bitch.

Where did you get that?

You'll never believe it.
Guess.

Where?

Anthony's.

No way. When?

Just now.
I went with Seymour.

You cunt.

Excuse me.

I can't read
the trivia question.

"Where on the human body
is the Douglas pouch located?"

Oh, God.

Slightly below
the uterus on a female.

Wow.

He does that every single day.

I'll have a decaf-mocha to go.

One decaf-mocha.

Can I get you--

No, I do not want a biscotti
with that.

God. How can you stand
all these assholes?

Some people are OK...

but mostly I just feel like
poisoning everybody.

At least the wheelchair guy
is entertaining.

He doesn't even need
that wheelchair.

He's just totally lazy.

That rules.

No, it really doesn't.
You'll see.

You'll get totally
sick of all the creeps...

and losers and weirdos.

But those are our people.

Yeah, well.

So, when are you going
to get a job?

I'm working on it.
Got a few leads.

Don't worry about it.
I'll get a job next week.

God, I can't believe you went
to Anthony's without me.

Oh, sweetie.

Honey, would you come in here
for a minute?

Sweetie, you remember Maxine?

I'm going to go to bed.
I'm really tired.

Honey, I made spaghetti.
You don't want some?

No. I have to get up early
for class tomorrow.

It's really quite something
to see you all grown up, Enid.

I'd love to know
what you're doing now.

I can't help but feel...

I had some small part
in how you turned out.

What are you studying?

You were always
such a smart little girl.

I'm taking a remedial
high school art class...

for fuck-ups and retards.

Who is this, Enid?

It's supposed to be Don Knotts.

And what was your reason for
choosing him as your subject?

I don't know.
I just like Don Knotts.

Interesting.

What do we have here, Margaret?

It's a tampon in a teacup.

I can see that.

What can you tell us about it?

First of all,
what kind of sculpture is this?

It's a found object.

That's where an artist
takes an ordinary object...

and places it
in an artistic context...

and thus, it becomes art.

But what can you
tell us about it...

in regard
to your artistic intent?

Well, I guess I see the teacup
as a symbol for womanhood.

Such as tea parties
in the olden days...

but instead of tea...

I was trying to kind of
confront people with this--

This shocking image
of repressed femininity.

Right. Exactly.

Well, I think it's a really
wonderful piece...

and it illustrates perfectly
what I was saying...

about not being afraid
to use controversial imagery.

Oh. Well, this looks like
the work of Phillip.

Hey, you see that guy
over there?

- Which one?
- The blond guy over there.

He gives me, like,
a total boner.

He's, like, the biggest idiot
of all time.

You guys
up for some reggae tonight?

OK, you're right.

Sometimes
I think I'm going crazy...

from sexual frustration.

And you haven't heard
of the miracle of masturbation?

Heads up.

My band's playing here
on Friday night...

and there's going to be
a bunch of cool bands playing...

and you don't have to pay...

if you show them this flier
at the door.

You should come check it out.

Which band is yours?

It's Alien Autopsy.

Oh. Bitchin'.

Yeah, well...

maybe I'll see you there.

Yeah. Thanks.

God, what a dork.

You're just jealous.

Trust me, at this point,
I'm past the fact...

that every single guy
likes you better than me.

Oh, face it. You just hate
every single guy...

on the face of the earth.

That's not true.

I just hate all
these extroverted, obnoxious...

pseudo-bohemian losers.

The Donnie G show.
Donnie G!

Nothing but classic rock...

coming at you
this beautiful evening.

You're listening to KFTO--

God, that asshole's voice
is so hateful.

No wonder
I never listen to the radio.

Relax, Seymour. Relax.

He's just so shrill
and loud and piercing.

I feel like I'm being
jabbed in the face.

"KTO coming at you
on this beautiful evening."

- So...
- Thank you.

Why'd you bring the record?

I brought it
so he can autograph it.

He's going to be amazed
to see it.

It's one
of only two known copies.

I can't believe they have him
as the opening act...

and not the headliner.

It's-- What an insult.

There's gonna be lots of girls
to pick from at this bar.

I'm not holding my breath
in that department.

What, are we
in slow motion here?

What are you, hypnotized?

Have some more kids,
why don't you?

Jesus Christ, move it!

Seymour! God.

I can't believe these people.

They could at least turn off
their stupid sports game...

until he's done playing.

Thank you.

Don't go away.

We got Blues Hammer
coming up in just a minute.

Hey, check that out.

She's nice, but, you know...

Offer her a seat.

- I'll do it.
- No, no, no, no.

Wait. Let me think of something
to say to her first.

That was great music, huh?

Yeah, I just love blues.

Actually, technically,
what he was mostly playing...

would more accurately be
classified in the ragtime idiom.

Although, of course,
not in the strictest sense...

of the classical
ragtime piano music...

like that of Scott Joplin
or Joseph Lamb.

Authentic blues
has a more conventional...

twelve-bar structure
in its stanzas.

Oh. If you like
authentic blues...

you really gotta check out
Blues Hammer.

They're so great.

All right, people,
are you ready to boogie?

'Cause we gonna play
some authentic...

way-down-in-the-delta blues.

So get ready
to rock your world!

Well, I been plowin'
behind the mule, son

Picking cotton all day long

Yes, I been plowin'

Picking cotton all day long

I said, Lordy, baby

But my woman she be gone

Now I remember why I haven't
been anywhere in months.

It's simple for everybody else.

You give them a Big Mac
and a pair of Nikes...

and they're happy.

I can't relate to
ninety-nine percent of humanity.

I can't relate to humanity,
either...

but I don't think
it's completely hopeless.

Well, it's not
completely hopeless for you.

I'm not even
in the same universe...

as those creatures back there.

We just need
to find you a place...

where you can meet someone...

who isn't a complete idiot,
that's all.

Why do you care so much
if I get a date or not?

I don't know.

I guess I just can't stand
the idea of a world...

where a guy like you
can't get a date.

What is this, Seymour?

Oh, that.

I borrowed that from work
about fifteen years ago.

I guess it's mine now.

What are you,
a Klansman or something?

Yeah, I'm a Klansman.

You know
the Cook's Chicken franchise?

"Four-piece Cook's special...

"deep-fried with side and slaw.
It's outrageous!"

Yeah, well,
Cook's is just a made up name.

Back in 1922...

they were originally called
Coon Chicken Inn.

That's an early painting
of their first logo.

How come everybody
doesn't know this?

It's ancient history.

Same reason nobody knows about
this Lionel Belasco record.

I was more interested in
the whole Cook's phenomenon...

when I was about your age.

Sort of lost interest
when I started working for them.

You work for Cook's Chicken?

For nineteen years.

Were you a fry cook
or something?

Nothing so glamorous, actually.

I'm an assistant manager
at their corporate headquarters.

Jesus. I'd go nuts if I had
to work in an office all day.

So I don't really get it.

Are you saying that things
were better back then...

even though
there was stuff like this?

I suppose
things are better now, but...

I don't know, it's complicated.

People still hate each other...

but they just know
how to hide it better.

Can I borrow this?

For what?

I promise
I'll take good care of it.

They're very sensitive about
that kind of stuff at work.

Don't you trust me, Seymour?

Let's address discussion
to this piece.

I don't like it.

Can you tell us why?

I don't know.

I think it's totally weird.

It's totally offensive.

Yeah. I agree.

It's not right.

Well, these are
all valid comments, but...

I think we should see
if the artist...

has anything to bring to this.

Well, I found this when
I was doing some research...

and I discovered
that Cook's Chicken...

used to be called Coon Chicken.

So I decided to do my project
based on this discovery...

as kind of a comment
on racism...

and how it's whitewashed over
in our culture.

Did you actually
do this painting?

Well, no,
it's more of a found art object.

How do you think this addresses
the subject of racism?

It's complicated.

I guess I'm trying to show...

how racism used to be
more out in the open...

and now it's hidden
or something.

And how do you think
an image like this...

helps us to see that?

I'm not sure.

I guess because when
we see something like this...

it seems really shocking.

And we have to wonder
why it's so shocking.

I don't really
know what to say, Enid.

I think
it's a remarkable achievement.

I'm going to let you handle
the 4:30 crowd by yourself.

That way, I can evaluate your
performance while it's slow.

Then we'll ease you
into the big crowds, all right?

- You can count on me, sir.
- Cool.

Do you serve beer
or any alcohol?

I wish.

Actually, you wish.

After about five minutes
of this movie...

you're going to wish
you had ten beers.

What are you doing? You don't
ever criticize the feature.

Why?
What's the difference?

I mean,
we already got his money.

Look, that's the policy, OK?

If you want to make up
your own rules...

open up your own theater.

And let me have lots of butter
on it.

Here you go.

Smothered in delicious
yellow chemical sludge.

What the hell is wrong with you?

What?

I was just joking around
with the customers.

- It's my shtick.
- Well, lose it.

And why aren't you
pushing the larger sizes?

Didn't you get training
about up-sizing?

Yeah,
but I feel really weird.

It's pretty sleazy.

It's not optional!

Jesus.

Hi. Can I get a medium 7 Up?

Medium?

Why, sir, do you not know
that for a mere 25 cents more...

you could purchase
a large beverage?

And you know,
I'm only telling you this...

because we're such good friends.

Medium
is really only for suckers...

who don't know
the concept of value.

What are you talking about?

What kind of loser gets fired
after one day?

Look, I told you.
The manager was a total asshole.

I'll get another job.

Besides, I have some ideas
to make money in the meantime.

I can't believe you're selling
some of this stuff.

Fuck it.
Everything must go.

I remember this hat.

This was during
your little old lady phase.

How much is this?

That's not for sale.

Wait a minute.
It says five dollars.

I know, it's...

That's a mistake.

I'm not selling it.

What was that all about?

I thought
"everything must go".

Yeah, right.

Like I'd let some asshole
with a soul patch own Goofy Gus.

How much for this dress?

God, I can't believe
you're selling that.

That's five hundred dollars.

- What?
- Five hundred.

You're crazy.
It should be, like, two dollars.

I was wearing that
when I lost my virginity.

Why do I care about that?

Why do you want it?

It would look stupid on you
anyway.

God! Fuck you!

So, now are you going to get
a regular job?

Do you want to do something
tonight?

I can't.
It's Seymour's birthday tonight.

Oh, shit.
What time is it?

I'm supposed to go to the store.
I was going to make him a cake.

Do you still want to go shopping
tomorrow?

Yeah, I guess. Call me.

Since when can you make a cake?

OK, you can open your eyes now.

Oh, hey. Thanks, Enid.
I really appreciate it.

No, blow it out, doofus.

- Are you OK?
- Yeah.

Oh, it's just my stupid back.
I'll be all right in a minute.

What is that?

It's...

It's just this elastic thing
I have to wear sometimes...

for lumbar support.

What, like a girdle?

Maybe now you can understand
why I can't get a date.

Well, at least
you're not the only one.

I think only stupid people
have good relationships.

That's the spirit.

Actually, there is this one guy
I have a crush on right now...

but...
totally fucked-up situation.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. You met him, remember?
That guy Josh.

But I can't do anything
about it...

because Becky
would totally freak out.

Why?

Just forget it.
It's complicated.

Aren't you going to get that?

Let the machine get it.

I have no desire to talk to
anyone who might be calling me.

I knew it. It's my mother.

Hi, I'm calling for...

You placed an ad in "The Weekly"
over a month ago, and...

well, I'm the blonde
in the yellow dress.

At least, I think I am.

I saw the ad
when you first placed it...

but I was in this relationship
at the time...

so I cut the ad out, and...

and I'm not
in a relationship anymore.

God, this is really confusing.

Don't!

Anyway, if you still want
to talk to me...

I can be reached at 555-2673.

That's my work number...

and my name is Dana.

OK! Bye.

Wow.

What was all that about?

It's just somebody's idea
of a joke.

That didn't sound like
a joke to me.

What, did you place an ad
in the personals or something?

Yeah, a long time ago.

She called before. It's just
somebody trying to humiliate me.

I think
you should call her back.

Oh, look.
We have to get these.

You know, I can't afford
stuff like this right now.

Look, I'm sick of waiting.

I mean, we have to get stuff
if we're ever going to move.

Aren't these the greatest?

What? They're nice.

I can't imagine spending money
on plastic cups.

You don't have to.
I'll pay for everything now...

and you can pay me back
when you finally get a job.

You're insane.

So, are we still going
to that thing tonight?

What thing?

You know, that guy's band
is playing tonight.

Alien Autopsy.

Actually,
Seymour's big date is tonight.

And I kind of want to be around
when he calls...

you know, so I can hear
how badly it went.

God, I'm so sick of Seymour.

That was great.

Jeez, thanks a lot for cooking.

I love to cook.

Most women wouldn't invite a guy
over on the first date, but...

I think you should trust
your instincts.

When I talked to you
on the phone...

you just seemed so...
I don't know, so harmless.

Thanks.

I love this song.

Isn't it great?

Doesn't it
make you want to dance?

- Come on.
- No, I don't really dance.

Come on, Seymour.
Don't be silly.

Anybody can dance.

Here, follow me. Watch my feet.

No, really.

Come on, Seymour.

Just feel the music.

Loosen up.
It's all in your head.

Here, let's put down
your bowl of ice cream.

Wow, it's 9:00 already.

If we're gonna make that movie,
don't you think we should go?

OK. Party pooper.

I'm so excited
to see this film.

Dustoff Varnya
is such a brilliant director.

Did you see his last film...

"The Flower
That Drank The Moon"?

It was glorious.

Must have missed that one.

Then again, what do I know?
I like Laurel and Hardy movies.

Really?
I never really cared for those.

Why does the fat one always have
to be so mean to the skinny one?

- Hello?
- Hey. It's me.

- Oh, hi.
- So, what happened?

Actually,
it's still kind of happening.

She's over here right now.
I think it's going pretty well.

- What? You're joking.
- Yeah, so I better go.

It's not really
the best time to talk, OK?

What, are you going to have sex
with her on your first date?

Jesus! I'll talk to you
later, OK? Bye.

That was my mother.

Do you still want
to do something tonight?

What happened to Seymour?

I can't believe this.
He actually scored.

God, how repulsive.

So, should I come over?

Actually, I was just about
to go out with some friends.

What are you talking about?
Who?

Just some people from work.

I don't believe you.

You said you were busy, so...

Look, I better get going.

I guess I'll call you tomorrow.

Boo!

Please.

Boy.

So, where have you been?

I've been looking
all over for you.

I've been wandering the streets
day and night...

trying to find you.

Really?

No. Joe told me where you are.

But how come you never call me
anymore?

I'm sorry.
I've just been really busy.

So, how are things going with...

What's her name? Dana?

Pretty well.
Surprisingly, you know.

It's good.

What do you do together? Is she
into your old records and stuff?

Yeah, sort of. I mean,
she doesn't dislike that stuff.

Anyway, she's trying.

Actually, we're supposed to go
antique shopping...

for her apartment
this afternoon.

Sounds good.

So, we should get together.

I'll definitely give you a call
this week or something.

Are you trying to get rid of me?

No, no, no.
It's just that I...

I should be going
in a few minutes, and...

Aren't you even going to ask
how I'm doing?

Sorry.

So, how are you?

I don't know.
Good, I guess.

Oh, hello.
Guess I'm a little early.

- This is Enid.
- Hello.

It's great to finally meet you.

So, how do you two
know each other?

I'm kind of surprised
he hasn't mentioned me.

- We're old friends.
- Really?

Yeah. Very close.

In fact, I was standing
right next to him...

the first day you called.

You know, if it wasn't for me...

he would have never
called you back.

- Is that right?
- I would have--

Well,
I've really got to get going...

but I'll stop by and see you
sometime, Seymour.

It really was great to meet you.

Now remember,
the art show is this Saturday...

7:30 p.m., sharp.

Oh, and Justin.

I'm sorry.

I'm gonna really miss
all of you people.

I hope that each of you
feels as if you'll be...

taking away something
from this experience.

Thanks.
So long, everyone.

Enid, can I speak to you
for a moment?

- Uh-oh.
- Don't worry, it's nothing bad.

I got a call
from a close friend of mine...

at the Academy of Art
and Design...

and she tells me I'm allowed
to place one student...

from your graduating class for
a full one-year scholarship...

and I took the liberty
of submitting your name.

As far as I know
it includes housing...

and meals and everything.
It's really quite an offer.

Let me know as soon as you can,
Enid.

This could be a really great
thing for you.

Pumpkin? Honey?

I'm coming in.

Well, I have some good news.

What is it now?

Are you still looking for a job?

I guess.

Maxine thinks she can get you
a job at Computer Station.

Normally, you have to have
a lot of references....

and at least
two years of experience...

but she thinks
she can convince them.

Tell her to forget it.
I don't need her help.

OK, that's...

You know, if that's...

If-- Mm-hmm.

Awful! Just awful!

I will take care of it,
I promise you.

I will handle it.
Thank you.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry, I need to speak
with her for a second.

- Well, enjoy the show.
- Thank you.

Yes, what is it, Phyllis?

I am sorry...

but you are simply going to have
to remove that painting.

Several of the parents have
complained about it already.

Well, I will do no such thing.

Then I'm going to go over there
and take it down myself.

I think we should
give the artist a chance...

to talk with the parents about
her intentions with this piece.

We should be promoting
discussion as a solution...

instead of censorship.

- Censorship?
- Yes.

Oh, that is such a big word
for you, Roberta.

Excuse me.

- Do not touch that--
- OK, I have a solution.

Thank you, everyone,
for your patience.

Margaret, have you seen Enid?

- I don't think she's even here.
- You're kidding.

- All right. There we go.
- Thank you very much.

So-- Excuse me.

So there's this stupid art show
I'm going to tonight...

and I want you to be my date.

There's something
I want to show you.

Yeah, I...
I don't think I should.

Of course you should.

I'm already
a million hours late. Come on.

I better not.

OK, well, forget the art show.
Let's do something else, then.

I really wish I could,
Enid, but...

Dana just got out
of a really bad relationship...

and I don't want her to have
the wrong idea, you know?

Hey, what's happening?

Where'd you get those pants?

They were a present from Dana.

You like them? They a good fit?

Yeah, whatever. I mean,
what do I know about clothes?

It's nice to have somebody
do all the work for me.

I'll just be in my room.

What's her deal, anyway?

Did she actually tell you
that you can't see me anymore?

No. No, I mean...

Not exactly. She just...

She just doesn't understand how
I would know someone like you.

What does that mean,
"someone like me"?

Just someone so young.

Don't worry.
I won't bother you anymore.

Do you remember me?

Sure. Sure.

You're, like, the only person
in this world I can count on...

because, no matter what,
I know you'll always be here.

Well, that's what you think.

I'm leaving town.

Where are we? This is
such a weird neighborhood.

This is a totally normal,
average neighborhood.

3128.

- That must be it.
- Great.

What? What's wrong with it?
It looks totally normal.

What? I said great.

Yeah, I can tell
you really love it.

What am I supposed to say?

"Gee, I can't wait to live
in some depressing shit-hole...

"out in the middle of nowhere"?

You know, you hate every single
place that we look at.

Why don't you just tell me
you don't want to live with me?

Because you'll totally freak out
and act like a psycho about it.

What?

You're the psycho.

You've totally ignored me
ever since high school ended.

You're still living out some
stupid seventh-grade fantasy!

"Your own apartment."

Fuck you.

Have fun living with your dad
for the rest of your life.

God. Fuck you, too.

Pumpkin?

Pumpkin?

Honey?

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Because, honey,
if something's wrong...

I'd love it
if we could talk about it.

It's nothing.
It's just some hormonal thing.

Don't worry about it.

OK, because I have some
very, very important news...

to talk about...

and if you're not feeling well,
we can do this some other time.

What?

Well, Maxine and I have been
seeing a lot of each other.

And we were thinking
it might be really best...

for all of us
if at the end of the summer...

she came here to live with us.

We could really just see
how we got along together...

and see if this is--

Is this your first death mask?

All artists have to suffer.

Just a minute.

I brought the application
for the art academy.

I just hope it's not too late.

I am so sorry
about what happened, Enid.

What do you mean?

Well, the whole business
with the art show...

and the newspaper--
it's just absolutely...

They're forcing me
to give you...

a non-passing grade
in the class.

Can't I still get a scholarship
to the art academy?

- Well, I'm sorry, Enid--
- Can you help me out here?

- I can't breath under this mask.
- Excuse me.

That's fine. Just breathe.
Don't worry about it.

Hey, what are you doing here?

I needed to see you.

What's up?

Can you at least let me in?

Yeah, sure. Come on in.

Look, I just need someone to be
nice to me for five minutes...

and then I swear
I'll leave you alone, OK?

What's the matter?

Do you have anything to drink?

There might be some root beer.

- What's this?
- That's Dana's.

We're supposed to be saving it
for our two-month anniversary.

You better not--

I mean, you like me,
right, Seymour?

We're good friends, right?

Yeah, sure. Of course.

What is this?

Dana got it when
we went shopping for antiques.

She said
it didn't go with her stuff...

so she gave it to me.

Said it would go better
with my old-time thingamajigs.

Jesus, how can you stand her?

How come all that time I was
trying to get you a date...

you never asked me out?

You're a beautiful young girl.

I couldn't imagine
you'd have any interest in me...

except as an amusingly cranky
eccentric curiosity.

At least you're not like every
other stupid guy in the world.

All they care about
is guitars or sports.

I hate sports.

Maybe I should just move in
with you.

I could do the cooking
and dust your old records...

until I get a job.

You know what my number one
fantasy used to be?

What?

I used to think about one day...

just not telling anyone and
going off to some random place.

And I'd just disappear...

and they'd never see me again.

Do you ever think about stuff
like that?

I guess I probably did
when I was your age.

You know what we should do?

We should just get in your car
right now and just drive off.

Just find
some totally new place...

and start a whole new life.

Fuck everybody.

I'm not
in any good condition to drive.

I'm serious.

I'm just so sick of everybody.

Why can't I just do what I want?

What do you want?

What do you want?

Don't you like me?

Boy, I never expected
anything like this to happen.

Yeah, well, me, neither.

You must know I always...

Did you mean all that stuff
about moving in with me?

I was just thinking out loud.

I mean, you've got this thing
with Dana, and...

I'm not gonna let you
fuck that up.

Yeah, but I don't know,
I just...

I really need to get some sleep.

Good night.

Right. One second.

- Sorry. Go ahead.
- We're almost done.

Hi. Yeah.
No, it's excluded.

They've already paid
the earnest money.

Well, let's see
if they bring it up...

if they notice it
on the final walkthrough.

Right.

Great. Sounds good.

- Yes!
- We did it!

- Great job.
- Thank you.

I'm proud of you.
I'll catch you guys later.

I'm going to start
the paperwork.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you. Have a seat.

So, what brings you down here?

I just really feel like
I need to say something to you.

I've never said this
to anyone before.

Believe me, I've...

I've stayed in horrible
relationships for years...

just so I wouldn't have
to do this.

What are you trying to say?

Maybe it's not such a good idea
that we keep going out.

It's Enid. Leave a message.

Seymour, here.

I really want to talk to you.

I've been thinking about
what you said...

about moving in here, and...

Yeah, so just...

give me a call
when you get a chance.

OK. Thanks. Bye.

Look, I'm really sorry
about the other day.

I don't know
what's wrong with me.

I really do want
to move in with you.

Look, I don't know.

I was thinking maybe I should
just live alone, you know?

I've decided to rent that place
that we looked at...

and I start moving in
next week.

Please let me come with you.
Please.

Look, I don't know. I don't
think it's such a good idea.

Of course it's a good idea.
It's our plan.

Yeah, but how are you going
to pay rent and everything?

You don't even have a job.

I'll get a job tomorrow.
I promise.

Maxine said she could get me
a job at Computer Station.

Please, Becca.

Tonight,
I have a very special partner--

one who is
a performance artist...

in sign language for the deaf.

Please welcome to the stage...

Well, here's where the fun
never stops.

She could at least have
the decency to call me back.

Wasted time, trying to logically
figure out the female brain.

That's for sure.

Maybe she got another boyfriend.

Yeah, well,
thanks for cheering me up.

Oh, God.

It's Enid. Leave a message.

Oh, come on.

Hey, look at it this way...

at least
things can't get any worse.

Seymour!
Just the man I want to see.

Step in here for a minute.

Have a seat.

What can you tell me about this,
Seymour?

So, what do you think?

It's fine.

- Where's all your stuff?
- There.

That's all you're bringing?

No. I'm gonna pack up the rest
tonight.

I'll bring it over
sometime tomorrow.

What time?

I don't know. Noon?

All right, cool. Just make sure
you're here by then...

because we got
a lot of stuff to do.

Oh, wait.

I got to show you this.
It's really cool.

Isn't it great?

A smile is something special

A ribbon is something rare

So I'll be special,
and I'll be rare

With a smile
and a ribbon in my hair

To be a girl they notice

Takes more than a fancy dress

So I'll be special,
and I'll be rare

I'll be something beyond compare

I'll be noticed
because I'll wear

A smile and a ribbon in my hair

What's wrong with you, retard?
It's 3:30.

Oh, hi. Enid's stepmother
told me that she'd be here.

She's not at home?

No, they told me
that she'd be here.

Well, where the fuck is she?

She was supposed to be here
three hours ago.

Do you mind if I wait?
I really need to talk to her.

Are you sure she wasn't there?

I mean, maybe she was just
hiding from you or something.

Why would she be hiding from me?

I don't know.

Where is she, then?

Maybe she's with Josh?

Josh?
Why would she be with Josh?

I really don't know enough
about it to...

But why did you say
that she was hiding from me?

Did she say anything to you
about me?

Yeah.
She thinks you're a dork.

She said that?

What do you expect? I mean,
considering how we met you...

What do you mean?

She didn't tell you about that?

What are you talking about?

On that pathetic
fake blind date?

What fake blind date?
What are you talking about?

Here.

Look.

Did you have a good laugh
at my expense?

What do you mean?

Do you think that's funny?

Here, is that funny?

I'll show you something funny.

- Hey. Damn it. Come on.
- Get--

Not so cool now, are you,
good-looking boy?

- What's going on?
- Call the cops, man.

- Citizen's arrest.
- You!

Call the cops!

Get the hell out of my store!

All right.
Hey, no need to get violent.

I'm outta here.

Are you OK?

You seem a little stoned.
What are you on?

High on life.

Look, Seymour,
I came by to tell you...

how really, really sorry
I am about everything.

I know you probably
totally hate me.

You don't have to say--

Please. Don't say anything.

I know I'm a total
disappointment to everyone.

I just quit my job
this morning...

and then I had a fight
with Becky...

because I told her I wasn't
going to move in with her...

and she really
just wants to kill me.

And there is just no way
to explain how I feel.

I don't...

I guess I'll just have
to figure myself out.

Enid, I'm not mad at you.

I know I'm just a dork.

Seymour, you are not a dork.

Sure I am.

You are such a stupid idiot.

Did you even look through
the rest of the book?

See?

You're like...my hero.

Thanks for waiting.

Is he going to be OK?

I think he'll be fine.

What are you going to do now?

I'm not sure.

I'd better get going.
I'm going to be late for work.

Call me, OK?

I have to admit things are
starting to look up for me...

since my life turned to shit.

Remember what I said
when we first started?

This little break-up might be...

the very best thing
that ever happened to you.

I think I'm ready
to get back to my old life.

You think that's too soon?

Why don't we start with that
next week?

Thank you.

Don't thank me.

You're doing all the work.

- Is he done?
- Yes.

Seymour,
did you have a chance...

to think about what
you might want for dinner...

while you were in here?

No, I haven't.

Maybe we could discuss it
in the car.

Did you want mashed potatoes?

See you next week.

Not so funny now, tough guy,
are you, huh?

Motherfuckers!