Original subtitles

Mescaleros !

We can't go anywhere. I will blow the charge.

Wait, here comes their chief.

How do you know that ? - All those feathers. And he wears horns.

My God, what a whopper. This looks worse than a buffalo herd.

What is he saying ? - He says "good day".

Hello.

If I understand him correctly, he wants the prisoner. - No way.

If he doesn't get the prisoner we will all die here.

Actually, it's not hard to fight for a lousy horse thief.

Release him.

And he wants a horse with it.

Release the prisoner!

Out !

Come on, Indian.

Get out!

There's something strange about them...those Indians.

What is it, Major? What do you see ?

They are painted!

Are the horses painted?

They are dolls on a stick.

Shut your mouth !

Thanks to Manitu.

Leave Manitu and the evil spirits out of it.

Don't blame the gods you crass horse thief.

There are simpler things than having to save yourself from the noose every time.

Now the whole cavalry is after us.

That head of yours is nowhere safe anymore.

When I look at your crazy face I lose all my appetite.

And that's not nice.

No, I am not your blood brother.

Between us there was only a transfusion...

from this arm to yours because you needed blood.

Because a tribesman of yours hit you with an arrow.

I should have let you die.

Now I'm heading west and you go to your reservation.

So get out of here and don't look back. Understood ?

Stop following me, Coco.

They recognize us immediately, you with the crazy feather and me with my bowler hat.

No, we are not related. There is no blood relationship between us.

You're confused by that transfusion.

There's a train coming any minute.

Coco...

Get out, Coco.

Have a good trip. - Thank you Jason.

Just in time, sir. - I never miss him.

Shall I take that? - No, I always keep that with me.

There's a fortune in that.

It doesn't look very heavy. - But it's worth its weight in gold.

Watch the steps.

Tasty, madam.

Can I order, waiter. - Sure, sir.

Good day, sir. - Hello.

Shall we start with an appetizer? - Love.

Tasty, sir.

My God...

There is still a table available at the back.

Cover your glass. Hold your hand over it.

He's covered in dust.

Your saddle...

Sir !

Your hat?

Your... hat !

Excuse me...

Waiter, take the order.

Are you all right, Agnes? - I don't know, Everett.

Calm down. As soon as they bring the finger cups...

we pay and get out of here.

Those trains to the west are full of bandits and outlaws.

Maybe there are on this train. - Indeed, we are not used to...

to travel with savages.

Madam...

Your Fingerboards...

What does "kalaka" mean? Sir, can you talk to that savage?

God have mercy!

All right, kakaka.

Do you speak their language? - Their language is quite systematic...

without articles and conjunctions. I'll do what I can.

He is looking for a treasure. - Probably... gold.

What gold?

No, you can't do that.

This is of no value to you.

He wants a hostage. Is there a volunteer?

I do not think so.

Then I'll go with you.

I think he wants you, sir.

No.

He's still killing us all. I'd go along...

but i have kids.

Besides, he wants you. - All right, madam, I'm the hostage.

God bless you.

I will never forget you. Your face will always stay with me.

Then I better go.

Tell them you'll cut my throat.

That door is closed!

I knew it. If I want to eat you come up.

Shut up! Not a red cent in that.

Clean up your dolls. - What dolls?

Which you put there.

Mescaleros...! - Mesca... what?

Throw that bag away and jump!

Shut up !

I'll break that Indian neck of yours. My back almost in two...

and lost two Palomino horses. 200 bucks, you asshole!

Coco good for nothing. - You say that right.

Come on, Wichita.

Dakota. - Shut up.

Wigwam !

What do you say ?

I honest Indian. I don't steal.

corn ?

I had such a strange nightmare.

Who is there ? Who's in our barn?

Our Father who art in Heaven pray for his soul...

Let me explain. - There's nothing to explain.

You are burglars.

Go tell Colorado Slim that Sean Logan is not afraid.

To hear ? - Yes, but let me also say something.

What do I see there.

Let me have a look. You hold him at gunpoint.

You never know.

Everything calm?

Wouldn't you get anything now!

Check that out!

Doctor's supplies.

Medical instruments.

Are you sure about that ? - Absolutely.

What does that mean? - That he's a doctor.

You are a real treasure. There's never been a doctor here.

Providence has sent you, to save my father from death.

save your father? - His fate is in your hands.

You said "doctor." - Doctor of medicine.

Where do I find the patient?

When is he like this?

From just after dinner. - Nice way to die.

What was on the menu? - Not much.

Because my father is not so young anymore, he is careful not to overeat.

He ate some fried corn, some gruel, a smoked herring...

half a dozen eggs and some salt pork.

And a stewed pear. - Stewed pears sometimes cause problems.

I ate them too but I'm not bothered.

Good. I need a big pot of beans with ginger and syrup.

With some sausages on the side. - What a pity, the stock just ran out.

Would you like to wait outside while me and my assistant examine the patient?

Of course. And the ladies too? - Yes doctor.

Now we can only pray for a miracle.

Koooo-lik. Colic. Whatever horses get.

"Keep the patient's head...

high."

Same as with horses.

"Administer Saline"

His bowels need to empty.

"Add a purifying discharge powder."

discharge powder ?

That's also discharge powder.

"Add some castor oil."

Not be a miracle oil. - That's whale oil. That also smears.

Forgot the salt.

No no.

We thank you God that you have purified this stinking creature. Amen.

Hooray, my bowels are empty again.

When do we eat?

He asks for food! It is a miracle !

Doctor, will you stay here for dinner?

Bon appetit, doctor! - Thank you, I will.

There's more. - Thank you.

How do you get all that in? - The secret behind food...

is a scientific approach.

It's about satisfying my hunger. - Typical.

What you see here is what we call food abundance. - Doctor talk.

Mainly prescribed...

to activate the juices, in order to increase the gluttony.

And meanwhile comes the neediness in your impasse, also for the better.

I usually smear bee honey on it.

somewhat softening, but if it stimulates the appetite...

What, Logan?

We are waiting...

Colorado Slim wants your signature under the contract. Right now.

Sorry for you Jack, but I don't sign anything at all. And therefore...

Too bad, because you are missing a good offer.

What a joke ! Do you think I'm giving my farm as a gift?

It's worth as much as your skin.

Not yours, theirs or from him.

And who are you ?

I've never seen you here.

And I don't you either because I'm eating.

Nobody gets to eat here anymore.

Step off !

I don't know who you are or whatever you come here to look for.

But I warn you.

Don't disturb me when I have to eat.

Get out now!

Take two horses... Two !

Colorado Slim. Him again.

He makes it here a worthless piece of land.

But this time, he got screwed.

Don't kid yourself.

Your friend here has only seen a few men.

Colorado has a lot of power here and many men available.

That's right. Sheriff Braintree here, may have...

Killed 20 or 30 of them.

Yet their numbers continue to rise instead of shrinking.

It's no fun here to keep order in the village.

Take a good look around.

Yucca was a busy place.

Now it draws more like a desert.

Just look there.

Almost every day does anyone pack their bags...

or close his business because of Colorado and his men.

People no longer feel safe.

Even the judge has resigned and no doctor for miles around.

There's one right in front of you, sheriff.

This guy here? - Didn't think so, sheriff?

He is a reliable doctor of medicine.

He cured my father. He is jumping on his feet again.

Aside from his bag...

he doesn't look like a doctor.

outside my bag... are me and my aztec assistant...

lost all our luggage in a train robbery.

We don't have a red cent left. - Don't worry, we owe you a lot.

You're a doctor, aren't you? The whole city will help you and offer tons.

Tons ? - Wine, pickled bacon, pickles and herringbones.

In that case... - In that case...

welcome to our village, doctor.

Thank you for the assistance ! - Sorry, I only use syringes against the humans.

And I'm the only dumbass who wants to protect that herd of sheep.

It's not easy, is it? - Shut up!

You don't have to hide your feelings, Sheriff.

What do they have? - Everything.

All your savings and that of the bank. But this was the last time.

What do you mean, Maulden?

I'm sorry friends. But I'm not tired of my life.

The Yukka bank is closing. - You can't do that.

We can't have seeds without a loan and buy tools.

Then we're on the ground. - I'm already on the ground.

I am leaving. And if I were you, I would do the same.

I have to say I do understand.

Just a little while, doctor.

Arm's length... 86 cm.

The forearm...40 cm. Fantastic !

Shoulders...

What shoulders! - How many ?

Almost 127 cm! Go on down.

I'm a bit used to it here in this farm hole.

That's not too bad.

It's done tomorrow, okay?

Along with your shirts.

As for those shirts... - No problem ! Everything from the house.

Listen, mrs. brown... - Please, let's not talk about money.

Well I mean... - Not another word.

Just concentrate on your practice.

How do you drink your tea? - With pastries.

Would you like to see the rest of the house? - Yes please.

That's the last of my worries.

This will be your consulting room. And the waiting room is next door.

The patients can go through the front door or back through the garden.

Whatever you think is best. - I'm causing you so much trouble.

Not at all. It's been so quiet here.

And that since my husband's death.

Oh, he was sheriff? - Yes, the current sheriff was his assistant.

If my dad was still around...

there would be no question of those murders.

The first thing Colorado Slim did when he raided the village...

was to kill my father.

In cold blood? - Otherwise they never would have succeeded.

He was a good sheriff and a great father.

He was good at many things. He also drilled a well.

For a great drought to water the people of Yukka.

Yes that's true. That's how he died.

He got a bullet in the back instead of water.

I wonder why? Maybe he trusted someone...

who would cover him in the back, a bit too much.

Coco ?

Do they know in the restaurant that I haven't eaten for a whole week?

They don't know? - No.

Good morning, doctor.

Will I get a double whiskey? - Write down ?

Look guys, there's the doctor.

Do you have a restaurant ?

I'm the doctor.

Here's your beer, sheriff.

Please sit down, doctor.

You name it.

A bowl... to wash my fingers.

A wash bowl for the doctor!

Your wash bowl, doctor.

Do you have olives? -No, but beans, if that's all right.

They are also round. Beans are good.

A bowl of beans for the doctor!

Tasty.

Anything else, Sheriff?

Bring me the next course. - Coming.

Would you like some bacon with it?

No. - Then what do you want?

The whole kitchen! - Of course !

The entire kitchen is at your disposal.

Bon appetit, doctor. -Thank you.

Turkey special...

with Chinese filling.

Chinese specialty.

Specialty chef. - Who's that turkey for?

Solly, have to go back to the kitchen.

Solly...

Let's share. That's the fairest, isn't it?

Not bad to start with. - Shall we make it a competition?

Chief!

Quick... clean up!

Finished ? Start !

Two dozen bananas! Good Grace!

Where can I get two dozen bananas?

Manitu...! - Nothing Manitu. I want my doctor's coat.

I medicine man.

I'm ready for the first patient. - That is...

mr. and Mrs. Robinson, together.

Just keep walking.

Good morning, doctor.

Lie down.

Free yourself.

Why should I free myself? My wife has complaints.

Madam ? What's wrong ?

She sleepwalks.

She's sleepwalking?

You know... I sleepwalk.

You sleepwalk?

Coco...

They...at night...walk !

No, no, Cocoa, she's sleepwalking.

Double dose of sedative.

All right, Coco! Take 2 capsules per day.

She has to take the pills at night, doesn't she?

No, they are not for her. You must take them.

For me ? - Those are sleeping pills.

If your wife sleepwalks you don't notice it.

What do they cost ?

My assistant will pay.

Bye, doctor. - A dollar for the visit. 50 cents for the pills.

Next one, Popsy! - Ebeneezer Dougherty.

Good morning. Did you hear me ?

Can't you see I'm busy? Enter your name and wait your turn.

And, doctor? - Don't breathe too hard.

I can't do that anymore.

Popsy, give him a ride home.

Colorado told us you need to stop this quackery.

You have 1 hour to pack your bags. That is a clear message.

Try those pills but to sell elsewhere, friend.

If Colorado sees you're not leaving you have to deal with him personally.

Is it something serious? - No, just...

Come on, doctor, is it bad or not?

Stomach acid?

It's from the cabbage I eat, isn't it? - Headache here?

Yes...yes, what should I do? Is it hard ?

No, mix some castor oil with water together with the powder of 2 cartridges...

and you'll be gone before you know it. That's 1 dollar.

Do you think you're playing with our feet?

Just make sure you're gone. -Your mouth smells bad.

Does that tooth hurt? - This one here ?

Shut your mouth... teeth clenched...

Does it hurt? - No...

That way you don't get lost. - Ugly sprain you got there.

It hit the spot, I believe. But that wasn't me, was it?

Teeth together, press well! As hard as you can!

You're dead, fat guy. You are dead ! You are dead !

I know someone who throws his gun up. - A gunfighter?

Hey, Mick, let's get out of here!

Popsy...Coco !

You overwhelm me, doctor.

It was amazing.

What's wrong, Coco? - Pain in head.

No no. That's good for the brain.

Your bath is almost ready.

Can I ask you something ? - What is it?

Are there sanitary facilities here? - There's a shit house around the corner.

I mean medical help. A doctor.

Doctor !

Someone is asking for you here.

Are you the doctor here?

Yes, but I'm busy. In an hour or so.

I'm not here for a consultation... Dear Colleague...

Value what?

May I introduce myself... Professor Stinschmetz.

Better known as Smithson. Easier to read for the students...

what I teach, dear colleague.

My specialties are surgery, gynaecology, odontology, urology...

and myocardial abnormality. - Do not worry.

All problems come to an end. Do you mind if I read this later?

I am commissioned by the government...

a sanitation survey in these remote areas.

What do you think of the parasitic epidemiology here?

It's normal, that contamination a permanent guest is here.

I wouldn't say permanently but he sometimes visits.

Looks like there's a lot of dysentery here diarrhea and gastroenteritis.

Plenty ?

I would say... that we get our share of it.

You seem to take it rather lightly, mister doctor.

Look at him. Completely covered in lice...

emaciated and worn out.

And constipated!

Trash, he's a doctor too. Come over here.

That's a walking disease spreader. Must be disinfected immediately.

You hear what my colleague says.

You'll have to take a bath. - No !

A bath ? Never !

I am allergic to water! Put me down, villains!

I rust like a nail.

Get me out of here!

Help!

That stimulates nicely.

Personal care is one of our requirements.

That tickles all over my body.

Don't sand so hard. I have no skin left.

Look at that floating on the water.

Nice soup today.

Professor, would you like to have dinner with me?

Very kind and I'm very sorry...

but I need to continue my research.

Bye.

DISH OF THE DAY\N ONION SOUP

This time I'm going to knock you, doctor.

Did you hear it The people come back to Yukka again.

Thanks to you, the population is going up again. In fact, almost doubled.

Did I hear Dublin there? That's where I saw the light of day.

And we should celebrate that. - If you take care of the food...

I'll bring the liquid fireworks. Just like in the old days at home.

Then bring the dancing girls then we take them behind the bushes.

If Colorado doesn't get them first.

Get out, doctor.

Don't challenge me, sheriff.

Another move and I'll blow a hole in your star.

Now take off your belt.

Let drop.

Put him down.

You're a good guy. I'm looking for the bad guy.

I'm looking for the bad guy.

You apparently don't get it.

Don't punch or I'll get really mad.

Where has he gone? - He got us.

Make sure you find him!

Have you seen it?

Everyone out!

Dirty Indian!

Help, my ass is on fire!

Come on, wake up.

What's wrong ? - It hurts.

Peek a boo !

Everything blocked. Everything broken!

Schulken!

Don't go anymore! - Then take a look.

Excuse me !

Again ? - A good whack, this time.

My name is Mick and I'd love to see you!

one more! - Again ?

Higher. Much higher ! - Alright.

Come on guys, a round of the house.

You're a lion, doctor.

The show is over.

You've had your fun.

Now it's my turn. And I will laugh now.

Look at the bird.

Hi Bob...

Oh, everything broken. Blocked.

That was just a warning!

Hey, boss, listen up...

Excuse me, boss. I didn't have you...

Idiots !

Someone...fell...into the well.

Someone fell into the well!

What do you say, did the sheriff fall in?

What's the matter with you? That well has been closed for more than a year.

Stop it.

The sheriff...

Coco ?

Who's that there?

The Sheriff!

No, that's not the sheriff. That's Manitu.

And don't bother me anymore.

What ?

Yes, there was once a river.

Hey...your face! What happened ?

Gold...

The sheriff? - Yes.

Bunch of buggers!

Because of your stupidity the whole plan almost failed.

Next time I'll shoot for real.

The men I shot supposed to be dead anyway.

And you brought them in for another heist.

You're making yourself look ridiculous!

You've blown us away... - Be silent !

You are the biggest idiot of them all!

By a hair's breadth, you hit me!

You're not trying to get rid of us, are you?

Well ?

Calm down.

I've got a little surprise.

Not for you to hand out gifts.

Just tell me what you're planning.

I have things in my head.

Just listen...

There's a party at Popsy's house tomorrow. The whole village will be there.

Just like a birthday party like last year.

There won't be a soul in Yukka City.

Everything is just there waiting until we take it.

And we're not going to let that go.

Come on ladies, let's go. - Thank you, Popsy.

Come on !

Don't move, please!

One...two...three !

Happy Birthday, Popsy! You look great !

Can I have your first dance?

No !

Never !

I wouldn't dance with you yet if you were the last man on earth!

Keep your hands off me!

Did you think you'd leave me there?

You look a little crumpled.

I'll take that dynamite.

May I ? - Thank you.

Don't mention it.

A great day for justice, Doctor.

What's up, boss?

Finish him !

Where are you, bastard? - Here !

Here.

Here.

This is your last warning.

Why don't you wear black underpants?

You heard me.

Is something wrong, sheriff?

Could be.

This time there are no blanks in it, right?

Why would I ?

I wondered that too when Colorado robbed the bank.

You shot to kill but no one went.

What would I be after then?

Gold !

Gold ?

What do you mean, gold? - You're standing on a vein of gold...

which runs through the village. Discovered by the previous sheriff.

That poor man trusted you, without...

to realize what a crook you were.

He wanted to share the gold with everyone but that wasn't enough for you.

So you killed him and hired Colorado Smart to drive the people away.

That way you had a free hand and no one to bother you.

You guessed all right, Doctor.

But you missed one thing.

You won't be able to tell anyone.

Drop your holster, sheriff.

Here I am !

Stand up !

The cavalry!

I'm hiding... in the well.

Nobody gets my gold!

Lie !

Halt !

Gold ! It's gold!

Logan. - Bye, Major.

What is happening ? - It's raining gold.

Gold ?

Logan, I'm looking for 2 Indians.

A giant of the Sioux and a little skinny.

Coco ? Yes, he was an Indian. But the other was our doctor.

What a noble man that was.

I loved him like my own brother.

He watched over us with his noble heart.

He was a treasure of a man.

Thanks, doctor.

Don't mention it.

Oh God, we were...

lost as orphans, who had no eye for the flowers.

No ear for the beautiful whistle of the birds in the morning.

Doctor, you and your native companion, were a blessing to our country...

a balm for body and mind.

And now you are no more.

Who are you crying for now? - For you and me. We are no more.

What is that ?

Go behind a pair of horses and let's leave here.

Oh, doctor, you gave us gold, that lay beneath our feet.

Mescaleros ?

For a change !

I'm done with it.

Every time we leave they are after us.

That must be done.

Stop doing that, understand!

BUDDY GOES WEST

Translation : Django