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-Carlos, we’re done for today. -OK.

I’m home!

I’ve called you at least ten times.

My phone is muted, dear.

What’s the use of a muted phone?

-I’m leaving! -Hello, darling.

Aren’t you going to eat something?

I’ll make you a breaded cutlet.

Breaded cutlet,

why don’t you say “milanesa” that’s easier?

Irene, the producer, has called you a thousand times.

Yes, she’s a little tiresome.

She says you don’t take her calls,

and that you left the scripts on the set,

and she also needed

to talk to you about something.

And she said something about promotional pictures.

-How very accurate, my dear. -And I’m not even your secretary.

Next time, tell me about it, because your father never notices anything.

And someone named Pichulito or something like that

has also called. From Buenos Aires.

-Pichuquito. -That’s right. Pichuquito.

-And what did he want? -He wanted you to call him back.

-It’s urgent, he said. -What time is it?

AND THE DANCE STARTS

When?

Yes, yes, I’m still here.

Where?

But wasn’t that theatre closed?

Of course.

Okay, Pichu, okay.

I’ll let you know.

Bye.

What?

Marga.

But she was very old, wasn’t she?

Three years younger than me.

Well, she looked older.

-She killed herself. -Shit.

The truth is that woman has always been a little crazy.

-What are you doing? -Don’t go.

-Elvira, come on. -I’ll go with you.

No, I want to go alone.

What are you afraid of? She’s dead.

Don’t forget to take your pills. Particularly the blood pressure pill.

-Okay. -And the anti-cholesterol pill.

- I will. - Don’t eat too much meat and

and be careful with the wine.

And above all, call Mom as soon as you get there.

- Is she still very angry? - She’ll get over it.

And come back soon, she always goes crazy when you go there.

And I’m the one who has to put up with it.

Three or four days tops.

The people of the series will kill you.

I’ll think of something.

-I love you. -And I love you.

But I’ll love you even more if you bring me alfajores.

-Malena, I’m going to a funeral. -Excuses.

-Fuentemayor Hotel, please. -Great hotel.

Are you coming from Europe or Yankeeland?

Europe.

No wonder... That’s where the money is, right?

- There’s a crisis there too. - Crisis?

Come on! What do you know about crisis?

No, I’m Argentine.

I’m Juan Carlos Moreno.

-The dancer. -Dancer?

Tango dancer.

Even if you are Carlos Gardel, if you don’t live here,

you don’t know what a crisis is.

A real, true crisis.

In other countries, they say “we’re in crisis”,

but for you a crisis is not being able to go out

for dinner in the weekend.

A crisis here is something else. I know what I’m talking about.

I spend 12 hours a day seated here.

Posthumous tribute.

She was the empress of tango.

The legs of Buenos Aires, as we used to call her.

To remember her as she was,

our friends made a little video.

Go ahead!

Tribute to Margarita Rey

They tell me that a great artist is among us,

her one and only partner.

I’m honored to introduce the great

Juan Carlos Moreno.

"If I’m doing well...

If I’m doing badly..."

That’s what Marga sang to me

whenever I was feeling a little down.

Poor Marga... Not me, nor any of her friends...

were there to sing it to her.

What can you say when you’ve lost half of your life

and your memories?

No one has come up with a word to describe...

the emptiness that’s left in a tango couple...

when one of them is gone.

This is all I have left of her.

This space where she once was.

Thank you, thank you so much.

Thank you, thank you.

-What happened? -I don’t know, it was very sudden.

-Sorry for your loss. -Thank you so much.

If Marga had seen you, playing the role of official widower,

she would have told you to fuck off.

This is all I have left of her.

This space where she once was.

When did you become this corny?

-Pichu dear! -Carlitos!

-Where were you? -Hiding in the back;

the smell of mothballs was making me dizzy.

The amount of old people by square meter is appalling.

Get me out of here. I’m dying for a slice of onion pizza.

I can’t believe it. They can’t have looked properly.

They did the minimum necessary. Think about it:

A woman in her seventies,

no family that cares,

no one to push a little. For a day they searched,

then they said that the current was too strong,

that she would eventually surface.

But Margarita was a star,

a national icon.

Not even you remembered her.

I think of her every day, I assure you.

And you? You were his closest friend and you didn’t see it coming.

-That’s true. -Shall we order another one?

Are you crazy? You’ve eaten like a horse.

-You’ll get a stroke. -I’m as strong as an ox.

Let’s go home. I’ll make “mate”.

-Do you still live near the club? -Yes.

Check, please!

I haven’t been here in ages.

You were more of a downtown guy.

Everything is more... It looks...

It looks like shit, everything is broken,

everything is older, just like you, Peloncho (Baldy).

Don’t call me Peloncho, you know I don’t like it.

-Do you want to see the club? -No.

-Come on! -No, man, no.

Don’t be such a chicken, Peloncho! Come on!

If you find the inventor of work, you’ll beat him up.

Hi, Pichu. You didn’t come yesterday.

I couldn’t. I’m going to show the gym to my friend here.

Go ahead, but there’s a skating class.

My goodness.

What happened here?

Years happened. More than 50.

Fuck me!

How many couples danced here? 200,300...

I liked to dance here.

Right in the center.

Do you want to see where Marga lived?

Are you kidding me?

You didn’t know?

No.

Follow me.

Why didn’t you tell me?

What would you have done?

Send money, something...

She would have died before taking anything from you.

-She hated me that much? -The usual.

My God, what a beautiful bitch she was...

Who are you calling a bitch, old fucker?

Jesus Fucking Christ!

What the fuck is this?

Don’t you recognize me anymore?

What kind of a joke is this?

It’s no joke, Carlitos. Marga is alive.

-And you knew it? -Yes.

Can you please tell me what’s going on here?

I’ve been dead to everyone for a long time.

And now we’ve made it official.

But why?

Why don’t you make mate, Pichu?

I don’t want no fucking mate!

Of course, after all you’ve eaten. I told you it was too much!

Are you trying to make a fool of myself?

-Not at all. -What then?

I made this suicide thing up

because I needed to see you.

And you didn’t think of phoning me?

You call my number and I pick up.

Would you have been allowed to come here on your own?

You made me travel 12,000 kilometers

-to tell me off? -No.

-But you’d better sit down. -I don’t fucking want to sit down!!

Listen to her, Peloncho. Sit down,

-you’re not that young anymore. -What, are there more surprises?

Yes, and a big one.

-Fuck me. -Please do not interrupt me.

It’s not easy for me telling you this.

-We had a son. -Who had?

-You and I. -That’s not true.

Don’t interrupt, Carlitos.

I don’t know if you remember, but 39 years ago I got pregnant...

and we decided, that is, you decided not to go on...

with the pregnancy, because it wasn’t right for our career.

So I went to a clinic to get an abortion.

We were on tour in Mendoza,

and you were called to shoot that awful movie with...

-what’s her name? -Analía Gadé.

Awful movie.

I never entered that clinic.

Is this one of those candid camera things?

-Calm down... -I won’t calm down, fuck it!

-We had a son. -No. We didn’t have anything.

Do you hear me? We didn’t have anything.

I don’t know why you’re doing this. A revenge, or you want money.

You think: Peloncho in Europe is raking it in.

And here’s when a 40-year old jerk comes in asking for my inheritance.

How little you know her. Do you really think she’s doing it for money?

And why is she doing it?

Because I want to go to Mendoza to meet my son,

and I want you to come with me.

You’re two old crazy fucks.

Two old resentful crazy fucks.

Carlos!

Wait, Carlos!

Don’t make me run!

How can you do this to me? I thought you were my friend.

Calm down and listen to me.

I’ve heard enough rubbish for one day.

For 39 years she has sent money to the woman who looked after the boy.

Every month. The boy never knew anything.

But two months ago this woman died

and Marga wants to meet him. It’s her only dream

and you have to go with her.

You can’t say no.

-You owe her, Carlitos. -I don’t owe anything to anyone!

-Don’t be such an ass. -Go fuck yourselves!

Deep down I knew it wasn’t going to work.

I thought he had changed.

No, Pichu...

people don’t change.

They get wrinkles and they smell awful, but they don’t change.

He still smells of that cheap cologne he’s always used.

We’re so stupid, you and I.

I only hope that Peloncho doesn’t start talking.

Do you think he might?

Hey, you didn’t call.

No, you’re right, but it has been a really long day.

Yes, you don’t look so well.

Jet lag.

How was the funeral?

A critic and audience success.

Always the sensitive guy.

What do you want me to say? It was a funeral.

I don’t know. As if you were not made of stone, maybe.

-Is your mother still angry? -She’s waiting for you to call.

First thing tomorrow, tonight I’m really beaten.

Anyway, maybe I’ll fly home tomorrow.

I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing here.

It’s okay to be sad, Dad.

I think you did right in going.

Important things deserve a good ending.

Go to sleep now, you sound like a bad tango.

-You’re such a grouchy man. -And you’re a pain in the neck.

-Bye. I love you. -Love you too.

What the hell is this?

-Don’t you remember it? -It must be 200 years old.

You’re such a drama queen.

This van can cope with anything. Just like us, Carlitos.

Do you plan to travel with this to Mendoza?

And what can we do?

Margarita can’t fly, don’t forget she’s dead.

No, I will not ride in this.

This is not what you told me, Pichu.

-Come on, don’t be such a poser. -No, "coño", I said no.

There’s the Spaniard talking.

Fuck, I have to go back home. I have a life, a family.

Don’t worry, I’ll step on the gas. If we don’t waste too much time,

I promise you’ll be back in two days.

I swear!

Come on, Pichu. Let’s not waste any more time with this dupe.

Are you coming or not?

I’m sure I’ll regret this.

Do you want the radio?

-Yes. -No.

There are cassettes in the glove compartment,

if you want to listen to music.

How do you like this van?

Like a zero mile.

Do you remember that January 1st, when we celebrated...

here in the van because we were on tour...

-and we couldn’t pay a hotel? -Wasn’t that one Christmas?

No. It was New Year’s Eve.

Our first tour together.

-A huge success. -Yes, a great success.

Come on, I didn’t even have stockings; I had...

to paint a black line on my legs with India ink.

But the dance halls were full.

You mean those dumps where two drunkards watched us?

-I played a brand new bandonion. -True.

And then we had to pawn it so we could fill the tank.

I think we’re not talking about the same tour..

We’re talking about the same tour, but you only remember

what you want to remember, as you always do.

You remember what you want too.

Why don’t you remember when we danced...

at New York’s City Hall?

and your picture was all over Times Square?

Or when we danced for Ronald Reagan in the White House

and made the New York Times’ front page?

Do you hear his pronunciation?

Such airs! All that because he speaks English,

shook hands with that stupid ass of Reagan

and ate two hamburgers...

My goodness, it’s so ridiculous.

As if you didn’t like going shopping feeling Ginger Rogers.

Me? It was you who wanted to be called the Fred Astaire of tango.

No, that was not me. That was the New York Times.

Please excuse me! It was the New York Times.

What are you laughing at, asshole?

You always had a gift for languages.

Pull over.

Come on, it was a joke.

Pull over, I gotta take a leak.

Can’t you wait a little? We’re stopping for lunch soon.

Can’t wait, I have prostate problems. Pull over.

-Okay. -Come on, pull over.

We have to find a place. Do you want to get us killed?

-When are you going to tell him? -Not yet.

Why not?

I’ll wait for the right moment.

And when will be the right moment?

-I don’t know. Don’t push me. -We don’t have much time, you know.

-And when are you going to tell him? -I’m not sure I will.

You promised me. We made a deal.

Here he comes. Watch out!

-You go first, then me. -No.

Let’s go.

Shit... I’ll piss myself.

-Again? -He looks so old...

No one will recognize you here.

Just in case.

-Can we have something to eat? -Yes. The gentleman already oredered

full barbecue and fries, grilled provolone...

cheese, stuffed flank steak with Russian salad,

three sweet corn empanadas,

two chicken empanadas, and a beef one.

-Who’s going to pay for all this? -Don’t say anything,

I can’t remember when was the last time I ate a full barbecue.

Weren’t we going to eat something light and hit the road right after?

We’ve been jumping in that old banger for hours,

and you want to give me a ham and cheese sandwich.

I’m not 20 any more.

I hadn’t noticed.

It’s fine with me

a nice hot meal.

Do you still like sweet corn empanadas?

Yes.

I always remember the ones your mother made.

I’ve never tasted anything like that.

Because she used cumin.

That was the special flavor.

Doña Rosa...

she had such a talent for cooking.

-A little more bread, please -Enough, Pichu.

I don’t want to use my fingers.

I can’t tell you how much I miss all this...

Me too.

A nicely cooked chorizo, grilled provolone cheese,

chitterlings...

You can’t have them there?

Yes, but it’s not the same.

I’ve been there so many years...

and there are things I can’t still get used to.

But do you know what’s the worst?

I’m starting to forget things.

That comes with age.

-No. -Yes.

It’s not age, it’s distance.

What sort of things?

The name of the streets, the name of bars,

the name of subway stations,

How many times I rode the B line...

and yet...

Leandro Alem, Florida, Carlos Pellegrini,

Uruguay, Callao, Pasteur...

-Pasteur, fuck me. -Pueyrredón.

Pueyrredón, Agüero, Medrano...

Agüero is no longer called Agüero,

-it’s Carlos Gardel now. -You are joking.

The poor marquis. Do you know that down there,

after having caviar for breakfast,

he cries because he misses the baloney sandwich.

Of course, you’re the only one who suffers.

Come on, let’s not get started.

But it’s not easy for me to live there, you know.

Don’t make me laugh.

There, I’ll always be a “sudaca”.

And here, first chance they get, they say you’re playing the Spaniard.

Sure, in the suffering ranking you come first,

then the refugees, and finally the children from Biafra.

Let it go, Marga...

You don’t understand.

Get off the cross, Peloncho, we need the wood.

You really like to fight, don’t you?

He started.

It’s Pichu’s sister, darling, she’s very ill,

and he wants to see her before she kicks the bucket.

He’s so sad, I couldn’t say no.

No, we travel by train, very relaxed.

In a couple of days we’ll be back in Buenos Aires.

And that hairstyle to cover his bald head.

What’s wrong with that?

But haven’t you seen how he combs his hair the dumbass?

I think it suits him.

As soon as I get to the hotel, I’ll video call you.

Here’s the check.

I’ll take care of this.

No, no. We’ll split it among the three of us.

No, I’ll get it.

-Well, if you insist. -Thank you, but no.

I insist, Marga, this one is on me. Okay?

I go to the bathroom and then we can leave.

In case you get hungry later.

Are you sure this is the right road, Pichu?

I don’t know, it’s been ages since I’ve been here.

I can’t believe all the junk you’ve here, Pichu.

Australes! They haven’t been in use for at least 30 years!

You never know...

Look at this!

How many times we danced to this Piazzolla record?

What’s wrong? Are you crazy?

What are you doing? Do you want to get us killed?

-He stands up. -What?

When you say Piazzolla’s name, he stands up, don’t you remember?

-He still does that? - And with Pugliese and Troilo too.

Fuck you, Pichu.

In the name of the real Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

A dead woman, a madman,

a van from the Stone Age,

I’m sure we’ll go very far.

Listen,

this will put you in a good mood.

“The stool”, what a great number...

How many times did we dance it?

-300, 400 times. -Don’t exaggerate.

Peloncho is right. It was the star performance,

standing ovations every time.

-I hated it. -But what are you saying?

-It terrified me. -Because it’s hard to dance.

You must dance very close to the floor tile.

I wish! You must dance very close to the fucking stool.

That was the genius of it. .

I was so nervous I threw up every time. Come on...

And every time the gentleman here

wanted a smaller stool.

-Deep down you loved it, Marga. -No.

But it was hard for you to keep the beat.

What?

-Pull over! -No, come on...

Pull over!

What did you say?

You wanted so bad to show off

that you never gave a fuck about anything and now

you talk about not keeping the beat, you deaf fucker!

Me a deaf fucker?

-Yes. -Turn up the volume, Pichu.

-Turn up the volume. -Yes, turn it up.

You have to dance it like this: ta ra ra ra ra.

It’s not a zum, zum, zum tango.

Tarararara upon a stool?

Margarita, you couldn’t keep the tempo!

I couldn’t keep you. You went with all of them.

What does that have to do with anything?

Oh, come on! I wasn’t known as the legs of Buenos Aires,

I was known as the cheated queen of Buenos Aires.

That was a thousand years ago.

You cheated me with the dresser, with the dancers,

with the secretaries, with Susana Giménez...

-with Estela Raval! -That was just the press...

-and you’re crazy as hell! -Liar!

I can’t believe how cheeky you are.

How dare you calling me a liar!

We had a son and in 40 years you never told me.

-That’s different! -How come that’s different?

Always the same thing, crazy motherfuckers!

Every four or five months, she sent me pictures.

And on the back she wrote:

19th birthday, graduation party, wedding day...

And you never thought of telling him?

Every day of my life for 39 years.

But what right did I have? I abandoned him.

I was selfish, I was a coward.

You were too young, Marga. We were both too young.

That woman was younger than me. Two years younger.

And are you sure she never told him?

Very sure.

And if he doesn’t want to know anything or takes it badly?

Look...

all I want is to see him once and tell him.

I have nothing to lose. If he doesn’t accept me,

I’ll go back where I came from.

Of course he will accept you.

When he sees what a beautiful mother he has,

his heart will melt.

Put away the mandolin, Peloncho,

you’re too old to serenade.

There he is.

Finally! Some things never change.

It’s been a while since I left you arguing in the middle of the road.

I missed it.

This time you went too far. We’ve been walking for half an hour.

Madam, kilometers vary

according to the extent of the argument.

-You’re such a fool. -Let’s go.

ID?

And the other two?

Is it really necessary?

Those are the rules.

Give me your IDs and go get the luggage.

We’ll all go to jail.

-Do you think they’ll recognize us? -Of course they will.

We’re Juan Carlos Moreno and Margarita Rey, the 2/4 wizards.

Not even your mother would recognize us, may she rest in peace.

A double room and a single one. What will we choose today?

You’re with me, Peloncho.

Don’t call me Peloncho, I don’t like it.

Come on, let’s go upstairs.

We’ll meet downstairs in 15 minutes for dinner.

Fine.

Sure, fine.

-She’s taking her time... -You know how girls are.

But not Margarita, she always arrived before us.

I’ll order another glass of wine.

You had three already, and we haven’t even started dinner.

Then I’d rather order a bottle.

"Do you remember, brother,

what a beauty she was?

They lined up to watch her dance."

She wasn’t a beauty. She still is.

-You look beautiful. -Thank you.

If it weren’t because you’re dead,

I’d ask you to marry me right away.

-Drunk already, Pichu? -Just an aperitif.

-He had three glases of wine. -What a snitch you are.

Come on, guys! Let’s not fight!

Shall we order? I’m starving.

Reason betrays me...

and my heart rules.

I can’t fight against love.

I will always love the one who doesn’t love me.

And that’s why my soul cries.

I can’t take it anymore.

What about a little tuning, lady?

Enough, Pichu. Stop drinking.

Will you stop making a spectacle of yourself, please, Pichu?

I’m making a spectacle? And what about that broody hen?

Enough, Pichu. Cut it out.

But it’s true.

Can't we speak the truth?

Maybe today is the day to speak the truth.

-Don’t you think so, Marguita? -No, Pichu, you’re too drunk.

Exactly. Let’s make the most of it. Did you know that Margarita

kept track of every tango she danced with you?

Right from the beginning, go on, tell him.

-Shut up, Pichu. -Why? It’s very romantic.

Before every tango,

instead of crossing herself, do you know what she did?

She counted one more.

-How many there were? -Is that true?

More than 20,000.

28,473.

Fuck.

And do you know what name Peloncho wanted

for her daughter?

Margarita.

Of course his wife said no.

“Over my dead body”.

Santa Margarita cheated on you only once.

Do you know with whom?

Shut up, Pichu.

-With whom? -With Rodolfo Bebán.

What?

Do you know what she said to me?

It was Rodolfo Bebán, I couldn’t help it.

It was Rodolfo Bebán.

But Marga...

I couldn’t help it.

And Carlitos

-banged your cousin Graciela -What?

-What Graciela? -The one with the big boobs.

No, nothing happened And anyway, it was her fault.

My cousin Gracielita...

Gracielita had a pair of melons

that arrived half an hour before her.

I can’t believe it.

Rodolfo Bebán...son of a bitch!

And now that we’ve spilled the beans,

we’ll all confess.

No, Pichu, you’re not well.

I’m perfectly fine.

And now I’m going to sing a song.

Enough, Pichu, you’re making a fool of yourself.

Jesus Christ!

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

I have something very important to say,

it’s a great confession,

something I kept inside me for 40 years,

and I want everyone to know it.

This song is for you...

love of my life.

Help me, Fatso.

I tried to erase you from my life and each day I find you...

-in every one of my thoughts. -He never told me anything.

-He was always in love with you. I tried to hide my feelings,

showing indifference, -Did you know?

warding off your memory.

I’ve tried to smother

with strong will the call of this love

that keeps me awake. Tonight, overcoming my wishes,

the voice of my heart has broken my silence.

Each day I miss you more,

and in my desire I call you.

Each day I miss you more in spite of everything,

each day that passes with cruel persistence

makes your image grow bigger, and then it fades away.

I know it’s too late now.

I’m left alone, alone in loneliness,

with my own error...

and I miss you more.

I love you.

I have always loved you, Peloncho.

There. I said it.

I can die in peace.

Slowly, slowly now.

There you are. Hold on to Margarita.

My god, you are sloshed, my brother.

Slowly, slowly. Wait a second.

Do you think a cold shower might help?

No, let him sleep it off until morning.

Tomorrow he won’t dare to look you in the face, poor thing.

You never told me.

He asked me not to.

He was afraid you wouldn’t understand.

And I don’t understand.

That’s because you were never good at love.

-But this is different. -Do you really think so?

I’ll go now, we have an early start tomorrow.

His name is Carlos.

What?

Our son. His name is Carlos.

Forgive me.

-What are you saying? -I’m such an ass.

-A big fucking ass. -No, you’re not an ass.

Now you won’t even want to talk to me.

What do you think I am? A caveman?

A little of a caveman you are.

I’m more modern than you think.

-What does that have to do... -Okay, move over.

-Where? -Here on the bed.

I’ll lie next to you, I’ll watch over you.

Because I’m your friend.

Can you take a picture? The boys from the hood won’t believe me.

Come on, asshole, go to sleep now.

I hope you’ll respect me.

Where’s your bandonion?

Carlitos will bring it.

I couldn’t.

What are you laughing at?

I was thinking that if you had become a singer

you would have made a fortune, Pichu.

Very funny. Now it’s your turn to sing.

-My turn? -I confessed,

now it’s your turn.

-I can’t. -Of course you can,

-otherwise I'll do it. -No, no...

-Marga. -Don’t give me that look,

it’s not easy.

-Good morning. -Shut up.

Let’s go, it’s getting late. I’ll drive, Pichu.

THE 2/4 WIZARDS

My goodness, he really got wasted last night.

I’m sure he’ll sleep the whole trip.

As long as he doesn’t throw up...

Poor thing... it was so hard for him to come clean,

knowing very well you didn’t feel the same.

You haven’t changed sides, have you?

-No. -You were always very macho.

And you loved it.

Me? Not at all.

You were crazy about me.

I had to be crazy to put up with everything you did.

-We had good moments too. -Really?

-Such as? -Do you remember...

when we got married in Las Vegas?

Of course I remember.

You looked so beautiful.

And you, in that white suit,

you looked like Humphrey Bogart.

Do you remember the tango we danced after that clown married us?

Yes, to an Elvis’ song, remember?

With you I could dance even the national anthem.

Don’t exaggerate.

I mean it.

Dancing with you was...

I can’t explain it...

it was...

there was something...

That never happened to me with anyone else.

Ever.

Dancing with you was...

the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Do you know that after you left I never danced again?

Really?

Don’t be jealous, Pichu.

Come on, Pichuquito, sit up straight, I can’t drive.

-Pichu! He can really be a pain... -Come on, don’t be silly.

Come on, we have a long way to go.

- Come on. Sit up straight. -Pichu...

Pichu! Pichu!

Pichu!

Pichu! Talk to me! What’s wrong with you, Pichu?

Oh my God! Oh my God, oh my God.

I don’t understand what might have happened.

-Poor, poor Pichu. -Do you know if he was ill,

-was he suffering from something? -Sadness. And years.

-He was younger than us! -Those are many years anyway.

But he was okay,

-What do we do? -Call the police.

-No. -What do you mean “no”?

Are you forgetting that I’m dead?

Fuck me!

They will ask you a lot of questions...

and anyway you don’t...

Anyway you don’t what?

How many kilometers till we get to Mendoza?

-I don’t know. 400, 500. -That’s not too far.

Let’s go on, please, Pichu would have wanted that.

Please, if you file a report now

we’ll never get there, please, I beg you.

This is not okay, Marga. It’s not okay.

We put him on the back and we cover him with a blanket.

In a couple of hours, he’ll start smelling like a dead camel.

We’ll spray your perfume on him. That conceals everything.

I’m glad you still want to make jokes.

We get to Mendoza, we speak with Carlitos,

then we find a nice place...

and we bury him.

You can’t bury people anywhere you like.

-It’s forbidden. -No one will know.

And when he doesn’t come back? They’ll suspect something,

his family will ask questions,

-He has no family. -His friends.

He has no friends, I’m all he has.

And you, of course.

People who knew him, his colleagues...

So he can have a funeral

like the one they had for me, with plastic flowers?

You had a very nice funeral, with lots of people. Very moving.

Sure. With plastic flowers.

The legs of Buenos Aires didn’t deserve

a wreath of natural flowers or a proper bouquet.

How do you know that?

Do you think I would miss my last show?

Not even dead.

No...

Those poor geezers went there just to eat something.

Let’s do something different, something private, more meaningful.

He would have liked that.

Poor Pichu.

Is it just me or he’s starting to smell like a dead camel?

Hi, Elvirita.

Why don’t you call? I’m worried sick about you.

What happened is...

Carlos, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?

Just a little while ago Pichu...

Pichu’s sister, the one he wanted to see, died.

He couldn’t say goodbye and now he’s devastated.

I’ll stay with him one day and tomorrow I go back to Buenos Aires.

I don’t know what to tell the people from the show.

Don’t worry, I’ll call them later.

I don’t know, you sound strange.

I’m just a little tired.

Malena has left you tons of messages

and you haven’t replied.

Here on the road,

-I lose the signal. -I don’t know what’s going on...

but come back soon.

As soon as I get to Buenos Aires I’ll call you, okay?

-Bye. -Bye.

If we’re going to bury him, it has to be done before we get there.

You can’t travel with a corpse, it’s very dangerous.

We’ll have to buy ropes, a shovel.

This is crazy.

Let’s get it done with so we can go back to a normal life.

You’re an asshole.

And you’re a fucking spoiled brat.

How do you dare, you fucking ass!

Cut it out, Julia! Don’t fuck with me

because I go crazy and I can’t control myself.

So don’t fuck with me.

-I don’t want to see you anymore. -What do you say, Julia?

If I tell you to fuck off, you come back crying like a stupid bitch,

What the fuck are you talking about?

You’re a fucking cunt! Remember that, Julia!

Go fuck yourself!

I don’t have a shovel.

And that one?

That’s mine.

I’ll buy it.

How much?

Are you okay?

Come on, don’t cry.

You can’t let him to treat you like that. Did he hurt you?

Do you want to call your family? Do they live nearby?

9,500 for a shitty shovel.

What’s this?

Let’s go. I’ll tell you later.

Come on, let’s go.

-What’s going on? -Her boyfriend was beating her.

We’ll take her to the next village, with her family.

Are you crazy, Marga?

We can’t leave her here with that maniac!

We can’t drive her.

-There’s no room. -Just to the next village.

It will be okay, look the state she’s in, poor thing.

Come on, hurry up.

Come on, let’s go.

-You should go to the police. -No, not the police.

We should leave the police out of this.

Anyway, I won’t see him ever again.

Well said! You shouldn’t stay with someone

-who doesn’t treat you well. -He’s a fucking son of a bitch.

Watch your mouth, darling, okay?

-Do your parents know him? -My parents died when I was little.

-Poor thing. -It smells a little funny here.

I stepped on cow dung.

Must have been horse manure, it’s a strong smell.

What the fuck?

-That’s Puppy. -Who’s Puppy?

The boyfriend.

Tell your boyfriend to stop, he’ll kill us.

Julia, come here!

Cut it out, kid!

-Fuck you! -Calm down!

Pull over, motherfucker! Come here, Julia!

You’ll have us all killed.

Fuck you!

Julia! Come here!

Come here, come on!

Don’t make me mad, come here! Fuck!

What’s wrong with you? Don’t you fucking hear me?

Julia doesn’t want to get out of the van.

What are you fucking saying? I’ll kill you with a puff, grandpa!

Who are you going to kill, you spoiled brat

who don’t even know how to wipe your own ass.

Calm down, this kid is really crazy.

Come here, Julia, or I’ll kill these two geezers.

move bitch!

Who are you calling a geezer, you fucking dumbass?

No one calls my Puppy a fucking dumbass.

Don’t be scared. Don’t go with him, he’s crazy.

Puppy is not crazy.

He’s got a gun, he’s dangerous.

I want to go with him, I know deep down he loves me.

-Aren’t you crazy about me? - Yes, you’re my Puppy girl...

Come on, let’s go.

Come on, let’s go.

Come on, come on!

What the fucking hell!

-What happened? -That cunt of your friend

stole my phone.

Are you sure? Did you look everywhere?

That’s all I needed.

I can’t believe it.

Since I arrived here everything went wrong.

I travel with a dead woman and a corpse that stinks of cow dung,

in this fucking forsaken road,

and to top it all, with no phone!

-Get on! -What are you going to do?

-I’m going to get my phone back. -He’s armed, and his car is faster.

Get on, I tell you. Come on!

You’re going too fast.

Is that the police?

I can’t believe it!

-What are we going to say? -Let me do the talking.

Good morning, sir

-Good morning, officer. -Where were you going so fast?

Or maybe the lady is in labor?

What did he say? In labor? No, officer, I’d like it, but no.

Car papers,

driver’s license and ID.

Yes, sure.

Here’s the ID.

Where does he keep the car papers? Unbelievable.

You’ll have to come to the station.

No, officer, listen, two crooks...

Excuse me, are you Juan Carlos Moreno?

The real Juan Carlos Moreno?

-Yes. -And you are the great Margarita Rey?

At your service.

I don’t believe it.

I’m your number 1 fan.

I learned to dance tango watching your videos on the Internet.

That’s how I seduced my wife.

Unbelievable.

Negro, look who we have here.

Juan Carlos Moreno and Margarita Rey.

The 2/4 wizards.

You must come with me the guys will go crazy.

Thank you, officer...

Balducci, but my friends call me Baldu.

Baldu, thank you very much, we’d love to go to the station

but we’re in a bit of a hurry.

I noticed. You were doing 80 in a 40 km/h road.

Today we’re making a barbecue

for the sergeant who is retiring. Half the village will be there.

Imagine the impression I’ll make if I arrive with you.

- Yes, but... -You come, eat a chorizo,

take a picture with the sergeant,

and we forget all about this speeding ticket, how about that?

Everyone wins, right?

-Yes, sure -Follow me, it’s quite near.

We’ll have a great time!

-Let’s go! -And what do we do now?

We go to the party and we eat the fucking chorizo sandwich.

How are we going to go to the party

with Pichu in the back? And if someone there knows I’m dead?

Let’s hope to God they will all be wasted.

Happy retirement, Sergeant

So long, Sergeant Rivares

Hello... Hello...

How’s it going? How are you?

Hello!

You go over there, yes, there

Chango,

turn down the music.

Silence, please.

Where’s the sergeant?

-Sergeant! -We say hello and we leave.

-I want my mobile back. -Forget it, that’s lost.

These are policemen, they can find it.

Sergeant, come over here!

Come here, Sergeant. You won’t believe this.

You’ll thank me for this all your life.

Look who I’ve brought.

Don’t tell me you don’t know them.

They’re a little old, but you can still tell who they are.

Juan Carlos Moreno and Margarita Rey,

the 2/4 wizards.

They were your idols.

Really?

Unbelievable! I would have never recognized them.

-Maestro, let me give you a hug! -They danced tango.

They were famous,

they appeared on TV.

Okay, calm down, don’t suffocate them,

they still have to dance.

Excuse me, all in due time. They need to eat something first.

Chango! Bring us empanadas and some chorizos.

You have never tasted chorizos like these.

Empanadas for the artists?

-No, thank you. -I already had 6, ma’am

Let’s go now, while they’re distracted.

The whole village is looking at us, Marga.

One quick dance and we leave.

No, I won’t dance with you.

Don’t make it even more difficult. Just one dance.

I said no.

And I mean it.

-I don’t believe it. -What?

What are those two doing here?

Okay, after these cumbias we start with the tangos.

Is there a particular one you prefer to start dancing?

We are in a hurry, you know.

But you’ll dance, won’t you?

-Yes, of course. -Come here!

I want you to meet Juli, my daughter,

and this one here is her dimwit boyfriend.

-Hi. -How do you do?

Now we start with the tangos, okay?

I can’t believe it, this is a dream come true.

Would you dance with me? -Yes, of course.

Aren’t you ashamed of yourselves?

Us? Why?

If you don’t give me back my mobile right away

I’ll tell everything to your dad.

Oh, I’m real scared now.

I mean it.

Listen, grandpa,

you talk and we tell him you carry a corpse in the van.

Oops! What happened? You both turned white.

Did you see a ghost?

You should bury it soon because that stiff

is really stinking and very soon the whole village will notice.

OK, let’s make some room for the dancers.

They are going to dance. Thank you...

No...

What do you mean “no”?

I can’t.

-Come on, Marga. -I can’t.

Everyone is looking.

I don’t care.

It’s just one tango.

No, I can’t.

I’m sorry, I can’t dance. I’m not feeling well.

I feel sick. I’m sorry.

Something I ate...

Have you gone crazy, Marga?

We must leave.

They’ll find out.

And you didn’t come up with anything better

than running away while everyone was looking?

I don’t know. I couldn’t. I’m scared.

Margarita, are you okay?

Yes, thank you.

-Do you need a doctor? -No, no, thank you.

-What’s the plan? -I don’t have a plan.

-So? -Maybe it’s because of the empanadas.

I told Patri they were too rich.

Yes, maybe.

Listen to me.

What?

What? Speak up, Marga!

It’s okay, Baldu, we’ll be right out.

It’s me.

Come on, open the door, I’m alone.

Leave it to me.

What do you want?

Come on, come this way while Juli distracts them.

Why?

Because I can't stand you.

Hurry up!

Come on, let’s go!

Get to the van and leave the village without a word.

I don’t want to see you ever again. Come on, hurry up!

Give me my phone back, you fucking brat!

Come on, grandpa, don’t make me regret this.

Come on! This way!

Come on, hurry up!

-I was thinking... -Yes, I agree.

You don’t know what I was going to say.

Sure I know.

That we should bury him here,

that we’ll never find a place as beautiful as this,

and that he would love this scenery.

See?

That’s why we fight so much.

Why?

Because we know each other too well.

-Shall we do it? -Let’s do it...

What do we do with the bandonion?

What do you mean?

Pichu never parted with his bandonion.

We should bury them together.

-Don’t you want to keep it? -No.

You can sell it for good money. It’s a real gem.

No, no, no. I want them to be together, as always.

I couldn’t find any flowers.

This is fine.

And what do we do now?

I don’t know.

Shall we say the Lord’s Prayer or something like that?

If you start praying, he rises from the grave,

and throws the bandonion at your head.

Shall we say a few words?

There’s no need, Peloncho.

Sometimes it’s best not to say anything.

I've got it.

-You didn’t sleep. -No, I didn’t sleep.

I ache all over.

I’m getting too old for this.

Maybe we shouldn’t have come.

I must learn to read the signs.

What signs?

Everything that happened during the trip.

Maybe those were signs telling us

that we shouldn’t come or try to see Carlitos.

You’ll see things differently after a nice breakfast.

This all looks great...

and I’m starving.

I’m not hungry.

Did you ask?

-No, not yet. -What are you waiting for?

-Sir, please. -Yes?

Maybe you can tell me where I can find Carlos,

the son of Merceditas, a lady who owned a basket shop.

Sure, ma’am, we all know each other here.

Right over there, that’s Merce’s shop.

But today is Sunday.

Carlitos kept the shop.

If you want to see him, he lives nearby,

right at the end of the rail tracks, in a little stone house.

-You can’t miss it. -Thank you so much.

You’re welcome.

Are you okay?

Good morning.

Good morning.

Hello...

You must be Carlos...

At your service.

Hello.

I am...

a friend of your...

a friend of Merceditas’.

Mom died a few months ago.

Yes, I know. I know.

I...

We met many years ago,

before you were born.

I...

I was just passing,

and I wanted to say hello,

and that I’m very happy that I’ve met you.

Bye...

Marga, wait!

Who were they?

My parents.

Marga, wait!

I couldn’t.

I can’t! I can’t!

-Are you sure? We’ve come all this way -Forgive me.

I’m so stupid, I’ve made you come here.

-What are we going to do now? -I don’t know.

I can’t stay any longer, Marga. I have to go back.

I know, you don’t have to explain anything.

You have a family, I understand.

-Go. Go home. -And you?

I’ll stay here.

Here? Why?

Because I want to be near him...

and I have nowhere to go back to.

What are you going to do, alone in this village?

Don’t worry about me. Go back, take the van.

No, the van is yours.

You can sell it, the money will last you a few months.

What?

In spite of everything, I don’t regret anything.

Anything.

I’m such a fool...

I don’t even regret having loved you so much.

So that’s it?

And what do you expect?

I don’t know...

Get the hell out of here, Peloncho.

Let’s not get sentimental,

we’re too old for that.

Dear Peloncho,

In case tonight there’s not enough alcohol...

to help me confess, I’ll say it all

in this simple letter.

I’ve always loved you,

from the very first moment I saw you.

I loved you with a love you will surely not understand,

but that has kept me alive all these years.

I hope you won’t hate me for this.

There are other news, sadder and much more difficult to tell.

Marga, our Margarita, is ill.

She has lived with it for many years,

in silence and without complaining.

But now she hasn’t much time left.

You know how proud she is,

so I’m sure she won’t tell you anything.

You know very well how she is.

Help me to look after her.

She needs us both,

but you were always her favorite Peloncho.

28,474...