Original subtitles

[ music playing ]

[ horn blowing ]

Woman: So, here we are in the middle

of a crowded restaurant where everyone can hear,

and he says, "You had the side order of asparagus

and I had the chocolate mousse and the onion soup."

- He wad dividing it to the penny. - What a jerk.

He said he could tell I was a liberated woman.

You know what you should have done?

You should have paid the whole check, left a huge tip,

and gone home alone.

What do you think?

Unh-uh.

Come on, I've got to get to the office.

I'm interviewing secretaries.

- What happened to Jane? - She got married.

Jane got married?

Why not? Jane's a very pleasant person.

Pleasant? She's got the rear end of a '57 Buick.

That's nothing. Harriet's engaged.

Harriet's getting married again?

I don't believe it.

Who's the latest victim?

They say he's... older.

How much older?

They're looking for a church with a ramp.

Oh, Brenda, it isn't fair.

Harriet's always getting married.

Why can't I find someone who will take care of me?

Fall asleep in his arms, and in the morning--

Yeah, in the morning you have a plane to catch

and he wants scrambled eggs and a quickie? No thanks.

Easy for you to say. You've got a nice rich dentist in the palm of your hand.

Brian's hardly in the palm of my hand.

I'm just dating him.

And?

And nothing.

He's not for me.

He's sweet, but kind of possessive. A little clingy.

- How is he in bed? - Fine.

What kind of word is "fine"?

If someone said I was fine in bed, I'd kill myself.

Actually, he's, uh--

he's better than fine. He's, uh, fantastic.

He really is unbelievable.

Why, Brenda Morgan, you devil.

You mean you're going out with Brian just for sex?

Why not? I have everything else.

- I'll call you tonight. Bye. - Bye.

Woman: Rice Billingsly.

- Hi, Debbie. Any messages? - Hi.

They're on your desk and your first appointment's here.

That's a good sign. She's early.

Hello. I'm Brenda Morgan,

and I like the fact that you're early.

Actually, you're late.

It's 2:07, Miss Morgan.

Like, I guess, you know, I'm really a people person.

I mean, it's, like, I love people,

and you sure have lots of people working here.

Woman: Is this one of those awkward pauses?

Because I hate awkward pauses.

I always feel obligated to say something.

Like when I'm on a blind date, well, it's not very cool

to tell a guy you have bunions

the first time you meet him.

I appreciate the time you've given me, and I hope I get this job,

so I can concentrate on building my career, you know?

What if you met your dream man?

Well, I guess that would be pretty hard to resist.

It would, wouldn't it?

- Thanks for coming in. - Oh, thank you. Bye.

- [ sighs ] - So, that last one seemed nice.

- She wouldn't make it to the Christmas party. - You'll find someone.

The money's good, and with the benefits you're offering,

I know the next person that walks through the door is gonna be the one.

What about you, Debbie?

Wouldn't you like to move up?

You could have a very good career here.

Well, thank you, Miss Morgan,

but I don't want a career. I just wanna get married.

[ phone rings ]

Miss Morgan's office.

Oh, sure, Dr. Anderson, could you hold on?

It's your dreamy dentist.

Thank you.

Hi.

You certainly have an interesting

chairside manner, doctor.

- Are you hungry? - I was hoping you'd ask.

I'm not sure what I have, but wanna go exploring?

I'd love to, but let's eat first.

Let's see what we have.

Ah.

Yogurt, Perrier,

vitamins and artichoke hearts.

Well, I guess we can order pizza again.

Look! Caviar.

- Do you have any eggs? - No.

I bought a dozen last weekend.

Really?

Ah! Eggs.

Two caviar omelets coming up.

- This is nice. - Mm.

I could become addicted.

I think you'd even get tired of caviar after a while.

That's not what I meant, Brenda, and you know it.

I like you a lot.

And when two people like each other

they usually do something about it.

We just did, didn't we?

I'm thinking of making some changes.

Just take some time to relax,

enjoy the simple things.

You could learn to cook.

You already know how to cook.

But I could teach you.

You know what they say about too many cooks.

You could do anything you want.

You could quit work. I make enough money for both of us.

- So do I. - I know you do, honey.

It was just a suggestion.

I thought maybe that you'd like some changes, too.

I'm just trying to make you happy.

I am happy. I don't want anything to change.

I like things just the way they are.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

[ thunder ]

- Good morning. - It's a terrible morning.

I killed myself to get to court,

then the judge adjourned because his basement flooded.

My cab broke its axle on a four-foot pothole,

and look at this umbrella.

Brenda, what happened with Metcom Realty?

I filed a motion that bought us two days.

We have a conference call at 3:00.

You got a pile of messages.

Brenda, I need you right away.

Can't it wait, George? I just got here, George.

Please, five minutes. All right?

So, the good news is, the agency is sending over

another secretary, who sounds fabulous.

Her name is Alexandra Dante.

She's probably from some exotic foreign country.

Well, if she can type,

I don't care if she's from Mars.

- Coffee? - Please.

[ phone rings ]

- Yes? - George: Look, Brenda--

- George, I thought-- - It can't wait.

Sherman Brothers is a whopper of a liability suit.

All right, what happened?

You know those satellites designed to blow up in space?

Well, one didn't, and hit one of their tankers.

That sounds like it ought to be easy.

Well, it would be, but they've got to sue

the whole bloody British government.

It was their satellite,

and we were in international waters,

and the case is a real mess.

I want you to handle it.

Well, I'll see what I can do.

Thanks, Brenda.

[ phone rings ]

- George-- - Debbie: Miss Morgan?

The, uh-- the person from the agency's here.

Oh, great. Send her in.

- [ knock on door ] - Come in.

Miss Morgan?

Hi.

I'm Alexander Dante.

You're a man.

Have been... for years.

I'm sorry, it's just that I was expecting a--

all the other applicants have been female.

Sit down, please.

Well, at least you won't forget my face.

Well, your test scores indicate

your skills are excellent, Mr. Dante.

As a matter of fact, you might be overqualified.

Would you mind telling me why you want to be a secretary?

I like doing what I'm good at.

And you feel you have the proper temperament for this kind of work?

Look, Miss Morgan, let me be honest with you.

I'm a very talented guy, if I do say so myself.

I appreciate your honesty, Mr. Dante.

I'm sure you'll appreciate mine, too.

You see, in the last year,

I've had three excellent secretaries,

all of whom were healthy, energetic, and hard working.

And one by one, they all left

because they chose to get married

rather than pursue their careers.

Now, I have a very successful,

demanding law practice here,

and I feel like I'm running a finishing school.

I really need someone who wants to be a secretary.

Well, you have him.

I don't want to get married.

I'm not even dating anyone right now.

I don't want a wife. I want a job.

Well, I appreciate your coming in,

but I have several other applicants to see.

I am better than they are.

Well, perhaps, but I think to be fair--

To be fair, you'll give me the chance.

Let me make a deal with you.

Give me two weeks to prove myself,

and I guarantee you'll wonder how you ever did without me.

And if I don't?

Well, then, I'm gone--

out the door, no questions asked.

- Two weeks. - One week.

- You won't be sorry. - I hope not, Mr. Dante.

- When can you start? - Oh, I just did.

Please call me Alex.

All right, Alex. We have an awful lot of work to do

since I've been without someone.

What should I call you?

I beg your pardon?

What should I call you?

You should call me Miss Morgan.

Oh. Sure.

Miss Morgan, sure.

What I'd like you to do, first of all, Alex,

is acquaint yourself with the account of the Sherman Brothers.

Miss Morgan, your mother's here.

- Brenda? Oh, hi, darling. - Oh, Mother, hi.

- Careful, this is dripping. - All right, I got it.

Oh, you've been shopping, I see.

I just happened to be in the neighborhood.

Are you gonna stay for lunch?

No, no. I can only stay a minute, and I, um...

Oh, I'm sorry. This is my new secretary Alex Dante.

This is my mother Edith Pierce.

- Alex: Nice to meet you. - Nice meeting you, Alex.

Listen, why don't you ask Debbie,

who is the receptionist, where those files are?

- All right. - Thanks.

Hmm. Male secretary?

- Men type faster. - Huh?

- Shorter nails. - Ah.

What happened to Jane?

She moved to Alaska.

Alaska? Alaska is loaded with eligible men.

I bet she won't be single long.

Probably not.

Well, Frank is going to pick me up here

and then we're gonna go to a matinee,

but, uh, first, I--

I wanted to give you this.

Oh, thank you.

How sweet.

Why are you wearing your hair like that?

It was raining out, Mother.

You don't like it, do you?

Well, I don't think it's really me.

Well, I should have known better.

I just thought maybe you'd like something different,

something with a little pizazz.

Mother, have I ever done anything,

have I ever said anything,

that indicated to you in any way, shape, or form

that I was interested in pizazz?

Darling, I don't wanna hurt your feelings.

I mean, you know how proud I am of you.

I think you are brilliant I think you are beautiful.

It's just that I don't understand,

with all your success and all the people you know,

you have never gotten married.

Maybe I've just never met my dream man.

There are no dream men, Brenda, there are only dreams.

Would you cross-stitch that on a sampler for me?

I'd like to hang that above my phone.

Okay. I give up. I give up!

I always say the wrong thing.

Well, at least you're consistent.

- [ knock on door ] - Hi. Anybody home?

Come on in, Frank.

Your wife was just telling me

what's wrong with my life.

Oh, really? That's so unlike her.

- I hate to rush you-- - I know, I know.

Darling, I don't wanna argue with you.

I just want you to be happy.

I am happy, Mother.

Won't you just let me be happy?

Yeah, you have my word. The subject is closed.

Um, who sent you the flowers?

My dentist.

Perfect checkup.

- Bye. - Bye.

Frank: Bye, love.

Oh, Miss Morgan, these are ready for you to sign.

- They're all ready? - Yeah.

Have you checked for errors?

Ready to go.

Oh. They actually look very good.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Now, if there isn't anything else--

Actually, Alex, there's one thing.

Um, do you own a suit?

- A suit? - Yeah, a real suit.

You know, something dark, something conservative.

No, I don't. Is it that important?

Well, we maintain a very businesslike image here,

and proper clothes--

Make the proper man, right?

Well, they certainly do make good impressions,

and good impressions, particularly first ones, are very important.

I'll see what I can come up with.

I'd appreciate that.

- [ knock on door ] - Hi, Brenda?

Oh, hi, come on in.

Um, do you have change for a 50?

I have to take a cab.

I'm not sure. Let me take a look.

Where you going?

There's a new band playing at the Palladium.

Rodney, it's 10:30.

Where are your parents?

Well, Mom's in Denmark and Dad's in Argentina.

Or maybe it's the other way around.

Well, I'm sure they don't want you running around

all over at this time of night.

Brenda, I'm not a child. I'm a bachelor.

- There's a difference? - There's a big difference.

Do you realize that if I got hit by a truck tomorrow,

I could die a virgin?

So would a lot of other people your age.

Yeah, don't bet on it.

You're in the 10th grade, Rodney.

Hey, why don't you come with me?

Senior citizens are half price.

Thanks, but, uh,

I haven't finished my homework.

Okay, well, next time I'm not taking no for an answer.

Ciao.

"Ciao"?

- [ knock on door ] - Brenda: Come in.

Miss Morgan?

Oh, hi. I thought you'd left for the weekend.

Well, before I go, I wanted to ask you,

what do you think?

You haven't said anything about my suit.

Ah.

Well, it's an improvement.

But I'm afraid the boots are gonna have to go, Alex.

Well, I do a lot of walking. In fact, I walk to work.

You can ruin your feet if you don't have the right kind of shoes.

Well, fine, wear them for walking.

Just get another pair of shoes to keep here at the office.

You know, real shoes.

Is something wrong?

Uh, you're missing a button.

[ gasps ] Oh, no.

Oh, Lord, I hope I haven't lost it.

- Oh, here it is. - Where?

Oh, great. I'll have Debbie sew it on.

- She's gone. - Really?

I'll do it.

You can sew?

I'm really good with my hands.

Well, I'm sure you are.

In my family,

the boys also had to learn how to cook and sew.

And the girls had to learn

how to change a flat and build a fire.

That's very enlightened.

Well, can you change a flat?

No, but I can build a fire.

I'll bet you can.

You really should learn how to change a flat.

You never know when you'll be driving down some deserted road

and... trouble.

I have, um, AAA.

That won't do you much good if there's no phone.

I have a car phone.

Well, you do think of everything.

I try to.

Okay.

Well, now all I need is scissors.

Well, I think there's one in the drawer here.

Let me just get it real quick with me teeth.

Look who I found roaming around the--

Oh.

Oh. Excuse me.

Brian, what are you doing here?

I was sewing on her button, sir.

Oh, of course.

Brian, this is my secretary Alex.

Well, I'm just about set to go.

Can't wait to get out in that fresh country air.

We're going away for a very romantic weekend.

Thank you for sewing on my button, Alex.

You're welcome.

Bye.

Bye, everyone. Bye! Have a nice weekend.

Bye, everyone! Bye!

Woman: I just can't believe it.

Everything was going so well.

I just can't believe he went back to his wife.

Brenda: Sheila, they all go back to their wives.

It's in their job description.

Sheila: But he said how boring and helpless she is.

I know he was crazy about me.

Brenda: Well, of course he was.

Look, men are attracted to us

because we're independent and assertive

and capable and successful.

And the minute we get comfortable in the relationship,

the bastards drop us, because we're independent

and assertive and capable and successful.

- I know you warned me. - Sheila, may I speak frankly?

- I'm not sure. - You have terrible taste in men.

I mean, you could be in a room

full of Fortune 500 executives,

and end up going home with a bodyguard named Guido.

I'm open-minded.

I believe in giving everybody a chance.

Besides, I keep remembering

something my Aunt Millie said.

Which was?

Well, she was so terrific

and beautiful and talented,

and I could never understand why she never got married.

So, one day I asked her.

- And you know what she said? - What?

She said...

"Because the last time someone asked me,

I didn't know that was gonna be

the last time someone asked me."

Oh, honey.

You wanna go shopping?

I just spent $600 on my lunch hour.

And I have a blind date tonight.

Sheila! Come on, not again.

Well, he's supposed to be very nice. A film producer.

His name is Charles Hasberg. Maybe you've heard of him?

No, I haven't, but do me a favor.

Don't sign any contracts until you've talked to your lawyer.

- How's that for service? - Mmm!

Oh, Alex.

We have beautiful bone china cups

that are much nicer to drink from than Styrofoam.

Besides, these aren't biodegradable.

Well, I didn't know it made a difference.

- I'll get you a fresh cup. - No, don't bother right now.

What I really need is that Actel report.

Would you bring it in as soon as it's ready?

Here it is, right in front of you.

I cross-referenced the arguments with the statistical charts,

so I think that ought to help.

Huh.

This is excellent, Alex. Excellent.

Good.

Um...

do you realize that my trial period is up today?

No, I...

Alex, are you wearing an earring?

Yes, I'm wearing an earring.

Would you mind not wearing an earring?

To the office, I mean? What you do on your own time is your business,

but if you're going to be greeting clients--

Oh, then I got the job?

Have payroll put you on the health plan.

Good. Good.

I hope you're not going to lose your enthusiasm.

Miss Morgan, you're about to learn

that I have many qualities,

and enthusiasm...

is just one of them.

Yes!

Oh, no.

Ah. Oh.

Listen, Brenda--

- Hey, you got something on your dress. - I know.

- Sherman Brothers needs you in London on Thursday. - Fine.

The ship's captain is meeting with the board of directors.

You can get all the depositions then

and have time to prepare for the hearing.

It will be a lot of paperwork,

so you better take your secretary.

Alex?

He is your secretary, isn't he?

I can be ready in ten minutes.

[ bells tolling ]

- Sorry. - To avoid jet lag, don't nap.

Stay up all day and then go to bed early tonight.

We've got a meeting tomorrow morning at 8:30.

[ sighs ]

This place is too much. Ha!

We have such a tight schedule.

I'm afraid there won't be much time for sight-seeing.

You have a reservation for Brenda Morgan

and Alex Dante.

Well, I'll see you tomorrow morning

in the dining room at 8:30, okay?

- Oh, uh, Miss Morgan? - Yes?

You're gonna be great. Don't worry about anything.

Yeah, me against twelve guys in wigs.

Sounds about even.

Well, as my esteemed colleague

Miss Morgan must realize,

the question of liability in this case

is not quite so simple

as in the child's tale of Henny Penny.

When she was hit on the head by an apple,

no one suggested that the entire orchard be cut down

to prevent it from happening again.

I thank you.

Miss Morgan?

My Lord, might I suggest that

had Henny Penny had a good lawyer

who had advised her of her rights,

she'd own that orchard today.

Now, before I begin my remarks,

I'd like to refresh the court's memory

about the damages suffered by my client

as illustrated in these documents and photographs

submitted for evidence.

You were fantastic. I can't wait for the summation on Monday.

I'm sorry you've got to stay over the weekend.

What, are you kidding? I got a free weekend in London.

I should take you out and celebrate,

unless you're too tired.

- I don't get tired. - Good. Neither do I.

- Hi. - Ready?

- [ phone rings ] - Just a second.

Hello?

Brian, hi.

I'm glad you got my message.

Oh, I'm sorry.

How can you be angry when I just said I'm sorry?

Do you think I want to spend the entire weekend

locked up in my room working?

Look, I'll make it up to you when I get home.

I promise, I'll be worth waiting for.

Okay?

Okay.

Bye-bye.

- The beer is warm, too. - Oh, good.

Oh, and after this, I heard about a club that sounds like a lot of fun.

- You a music lover? - Oh, sure.

Good. Cheers.

- [ music playing ] - [ chattering ]

[ chatter continues ]

Wow! This is great!

So, what are you doing tomorrow?

Working on the case all day.

I heard there's a really great flea market at Portobello Road.

- Have you ever been? - Oh, years ago.

Great, you can be my guide.

Oh, I can't, really. I've got a lot of reading to do, and...

Well, now that I've singlehandedly rescued the British economy,

what are we doing tomorrow?

I wanna be out of here by 7:00

because of the changing of the guard.

Oh, Miss Morgan, there are some flowers here for you.

- Oh, thanks. - I got them.

Wow.

I guess you and Dr. Anderson are quite the item, huh?

Well, you know how hard it is to find a good dentist.

Well, I'll see you tomorrow morning at 7:00.

Sharp.

[ no audible dialogue ]

You cold?

No.

Here.

Put this on.

Thank you.

Did you ask Debbie to send that telex?

- Yes, I did. - Good.

I told you.

She said she'd send them first thing tomorrow morning,

- so till then... - Yeah?

why don't you forget about the office?

I mean, look at that.

I think it's nice that you and Debbie get along so well.

It's rare that a man and a woman work well side by side.

And I think it's really nice for her to get more insight

into her male-female relationships.

You know, you being a man and all,

you know what men want.

Oh, that's easy.

- It is? - Yeah.

Man wants what woman wants.

And what's that?

They want someone to talk to,

to have a good time with,

hold, but have freedom,

and someone to come home to.

I wish it was that easy.

Well, what do you think a man wants?

Well, I think men want--

some men want--

well, they want to dominate.

They're into male dominance.

Aren't some women into female dominance?

Well, maybe some are, but not as many,

not statistically speaking.

Is Dr. Anderson into male dominance?

I think Dr. Anderson is--

is... into male dominance.

But then, I think he thinks

I'm into female dominance.

- And you're not? - No, I'm not.

- I only want-- - Someone to talk to

and have a good time with.

Isn't that what everybody wants?

It's what I want.

Is it?

Well, we better get out of here.

It looks like the sky's gonna fall on us.

The final arguments won't take long tomorrow,

so we should be to the airport in plenty of time.

I hate to say good-bye to London.

Another lovely day.

It sure was, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Oh, I hope I have my key.

Hang on, I'll take this from you.

Thanks. I know I brought it.

Oh, there it is.

Okay.

- I'll take those. - All right.

- Okay? - Yeah.

You're forgetting something.

- What? - My jacket.

I'm glad it was able to keep you warm.

Don't want you to catch cold.

If you catch cold, that's all we need.

It's why I always take my vitamins.

- Um, good night, yeah. - Good night.

Don't even think about it.

- Man: Good morning. - [ chattering ]

Good morning, everyone. Good morning.

Alex: Good morning.

Hi.

You look great.

Thank you.

I need those notes on London right away.

Uh, they're on your desk.

Oh, well, let's be sure Mr. Billingsly

and the other partners get copies.

- They already do. - Good.

And take these receipts, add your own,

and make sure accounting gets those.

All right.

Remember, the pub was on me.

- Mr. Billingsly. - Alex.

George, I need to go over London with you.

Oh, uh, Dr. Anderson called

and he said he'd be picking you up at 6:30.

Great.

Oh, tell him I'll go by his office.

Right.

How does she do it?

She spends the weekend with Alex,

and she's got the doctor waiting for her.

God, I'd be satisfied with one.

I don't think she's ever satisfied.

- Brian? - Brian: Be right out.

- Hi. Right on time. - Hi.

- Did you miss me? - Of course.

Yeah, I reserved a corner booth, so we better hurry.

- We should talk first. - We can talk later.

No, Brenda, this is important.

Sit down, please.

Well, what do you want to talk about?

Well...

you know, I was--

I was really ticked off

when you phoned from Europe.

I know. I couldn't help it, Brian.

No, I'm not blaming you, Brenda.

That's why I sent you the flowers.

And they were lovely, they really were.

I know how demanding your job can be.

It's just that--

well, anyway, I decided to stay in town for the weekend

and do some errands, you know?

Get a new dish strainer,

finally put up that new tie rack.

And then at the hardware store, I met a woman.

She was--

well, I--

I was attracted to her.

I can understand your being attracted to someone else, Brian.

I've been attracted to other people.

No, it wasn't just that, Brenda.

It was something else. It was more.

She had a light switch that she wanted to fix

and I said I would help her,

so I went to her house and met her son.

- She has a child? - Yeah.

Great kid. Eleven years old and all boy.

He's got a nasty overbite,

but I think I can fix that with a retainer.

Anyway, we sat around and talked

and got to know each other,

and we sent out for a pastrami sandwiches.

You know, with those really big pickles?

Brian, what are you saying?

Well, what I'm saying is,

I realized how much I want that.

You know, a home, a family,

the warmth and security of sharing my life with someone.

What I'm trying to say is,

well, this might sound crazy, but I want her to marry me.

Marry you? Brian, I--

you want her to marry you?

I was crazy about you, Brenda. I still am, I guess.

But it never would have worked out between us.

I think you put it best when you said

I'd get tired of caviar every night.

You're too much for me, Brenda.

I'm really just a simple kind of guy,

- and Marylou... - Marylou?

Marylou needs me,

and you don't need anybody,

and I need to be needed.

And little Joey needs a father and a retainer.

I want you to meet them, Brenda,

and you'll understand why I'm so happy,

and you'll be happy for me-- for all of us.

I just want everybody to be happy.

[ phone rings ]

What kind of herbal teas do you have?

Mint, rose hip, chamomile, and lemon verbena.

I'll have a double vodka martini,

straight up.

Am I glad you're sitting down,

because what I have to say

would knock you off your feet.

What?

Charles proposed.

- We're getting married. - You're what?

You heard right. Married.

I'm getting married.

I thought you said he was gonna dump you.

Well, I thought so, too, but then he took me

to this crazy little diner with a great jukebox,

and he had the waitress serenade me, and then--

My God.

I told Charles it was too extravagant, but he insisted.

Well, isn't this a little sudden?

Charles said, "When you strike gold,

you should stop digging."

- He's so perfect. - This is great, just...

...great. It really is great, Sheila.

I'm so happy for you.

Now, we're gonna do it right away.

We don't want to wait any longer than necessary.

Well, we have to find someplace to do it,

and then I've got to invite everybody

and get his kids home from school.

- He has children? - Oh, widowed years ago.

The kids are away at school.

We're gonna call them tonight and tell them.

Oh, God, my head is spinning.

I've got to make a list of everything to do--

music, flowers, a dress.

Oh, and I almost forgot the most important thing.

- You. - Me?

We want you to be our bridesmaid.

I'm gonna call my mother.

Of course, what would a wedding be

without me to give away the bride?

Or the groom.

That's me, the world's oldest living bridesmaid.

I'll have another one.

I'm gonna double-check these figures.

Okay.

Want some more coffee?

No, thank you.

Okay.

Hey, how about something to eat?

This is saving my life.

I wish you'd said something earlier.

I mean, the least I can do is buy you dinner.

- It's Saturday night. - They're all the same to me.

I hope you didn't have to change any plans.

None that couldn't be changed.

You didn't have a date or anything?

Nope. All yours.

Well, I appreciate your coming in.

I don't mind. I like my work.

I can tell.

You know, when I first hired you,

I was really afraid that

you were going to be uncomfortable

being the only male secretary.

I'll be honest with you, I don't give much credence

to that masculine-feminine stuff.

It's all a bunch of hype created by--

Men who are afraid of women?

Or women that are afraid of themselves.

I don't know how we're ever gonna get all this work done.

Oh, yeah.

Work.

- You want some more coffee? - No, thank you.

Look, we're both pretty fried.

Why don't we come in tomorrow?

I can't. My friend Sheila's getting married.

You mean, you're gonna go with Dr. Anderson?

No.

I mean, he hasn't been calling very much lately.

I was wondering if you had...

broken up.

There wasn't really much to break up.

If you want my opinion,

I thought he was kind of a wimp.

You did?

Yeah, I did.

He's not your type.

What is my type?

I don't know. You'll know when you meet him.

I hope so.

Look, why don't--

why don't I just take all this work home?

All it needs is to be organized, right?

I can't ask you to do that.

I'm volunteering.

I'll consider it a personal favor,

if you don't mind getting personal.

No, I don't.

So, you go to your friend's wedding and enjoy yourself,

and who knows,

you might catch the bouquet.

We'll be gone three weeks,

and we're gonna take the kids with us,

so we can all get to know each other.

Then we're coming home for the real honeymoon,

right, darling?

There's Brenda.

She looks better than ever.

She sure does.

Oh! Better watch out. Your face is gonna freeze like that.

Hey, cheer up, sweetheart.

You look more like a pallbearer than a bridesmaid.

I know, but I'm losing my best friend.

It's silly, but I feel so left behind

and left over and left out.

Don't feel bad, you'll be next.

There's another Charles out there just ready--

Ah, ah, ah! The question is,

is Miss America ready for him?

What is that supposed to mean?

Honey, it's not as if you never have been asked to be married.

Half the men in this room have been after you at one time or another,

but you would never give them the time of day.

What I don't understand is why you feel left out?

- You always did the leaving. - That's not true.

I think you were a little hard on her, dear.

Mm. I always say the wrong thing.

- Mm-hmm. - Mm.

You must be "something blue."

Nice to meet you.

- I'm "something old." - I think I'm drunk.

Take deep breaths.

Will it make me sober?

It will either make you sober or make you faint.

Anything would be an improvement.

You gonna throw up?

I already did.

Come on, pull yourself together.

This is your wedding night.

You haven't even gotten to the good part yet.

I'm scared.

You've done it all before.

Don't worry. It'll come back to you.

I mean really scared, Brenda.

I've been married for three and a half hours

and I feel different already.

Well, of course you feel different.

That was the whole idea, wasn't it?

I guess, but...

I can't explain it.

It's such a responsibility. It's overwhelming.

You know...

I don't even have a dog,

and now I have a husband.

Oh, Brenda, you're my best friend and I love you.

You do love Charles though, don't you?

God, I adore him. Worship him.

I'm crazy about him.

But still I wonder,

can we ever love a man like we love each other?

I hope so, Sheila.

I want to.

I don't know.

I suppose if it really happens, if you really feel that spark,

then you just go with your instincts.

Listen to me, I sound like June Cleaver.

I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

I feel better.

Let's go back before Charles thinks I chickened out.

Sheila, as your very best friend,

could I tell you one last thing?

Sure, what?

Your nose is running and it looks disgusting.

Come on, honey, time to throw the bouquet.

[ crowd chattering ]

[ chattering ]

- Woman: Congratulations. - Woman #2: It's her turn.

Woman: You're next!

Alex, hi.

I hope I'm not disturbing you.

Good.

Listen, I was wondering about that report.

Really?

That's great.

Because I--

I wanted to go over it tomorrow.

Well, actually, I...

just happen to be in your neighborhood.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Come on in. - Thanks.

Alex, this place is lovely.

Well, you're the first person

that's ever said that about it.

Can I get you something to drink?

Oh, thank you. That would be lovely.

- Beer? - Thanks.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate this.

It really is a charming place.

What's in there?

Oh, uh, something I do.

Come on, let me show you.

Alex.

I had no idea you were an artist.

A lot of people would agree with that.

But don't worry about being polite

because I know that this stuff's

probably not up your alley.

Well, I certainly respect the creative process

and personal achievement.

There's an interesting theory

about the ability to appreciate works of art--

the subjective versus the objective.

Brenda.

Cut the crap.

I've been thinking about that all day.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

I've been waiting for you.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

[ clattering ]

[ footsteps ]

- Morning! - Hi.

By the way, I'm also good in the kitchen.

I'm working on breakfast. See you in a minute?

Uh-huh.

You're out of moisturizer.

I'll put that on the top of my list.

Sit down. Don't bother the chef.

How do you like your eggs? Overdone? Underdone?

None for me, thanks.

- I'll just have some coffee. - You sure?

You'll deprive yourself

of the world's greatest eggs.

I have no doubt.

Here, take a bite.

Mmm.

Mmm. They are good... and spicy.

Your, um, sculptures are very unusual.

They'll grow on you, I think.

I think they already have.

I must say, counselor, you look so cute in my terrycloth.

Have you sold any?

Sculptures?

I've traded a few. Does that count?

What about the galleries?

None yet, but I'll make the rounds again.

I think you could get someone interested.

Brenda, I have no illusion about a one-man show at the Modern.

I create things. That's what I like to do.

I don't do it for money.

It's cheaper than therapy and healthier than drugs.

But it could happen.

Maybe.

I'm still young.

You certainly are.

Are you sure I can't get you some toast or some juice?

No, really. I've got to get to work.

So do I.

In fact, we could go together.

No.

I mean, I've got to go home and change.

Oh, Lord, I don't even have my book with me.

Do I have any appointments this morning?

I think I have a 10:00.

Oh, Lord, I hope I wasn't supposed to be in court.

Okay, so, you go to the office and tell them I called in.

No, I better do that myself. I'll do that as soon as I get home.

Oh, we're never gonna get a cab at this hour.

Wait, there's one. [ whistling ]

Hey, right here! Taxi!

Woman: Thank you. Oh!

- Excuse me. - I beg your pardon. I saw him first.

- No, lady, we were here. - Are you going uptown?

- Yes, I am. - Good, we'll share! What a great idea.

- Come on, come on. - Really!

Mike Barton to see Brenda Morgan.

Miss Morgan's gonna be just a minute late.

Why don't you have a seat over there?

- Thank you. - Okay.

Mike, hi. I'm so sorry I'm late.

I had a Peruvian cab driver and I almost ended up in Machu Picchu.

Mike: My train had some delays, too.

I sure could use a cup of coffee.

I'll get it for you. Do you take cream and sugar?

I'm sorry, did you say you wanted cream or sugar

or cream and sugar? We have both.

Oh, this coffee smells so good.

I think I'll have a cup myself.

I usually drink decaf,

but I feel a little sluggish this morning,

so I think I'll have some of this.

I don't understand it.

I went to bed very early last night,

- and I slept a lot, too. - [ doorbell rings ]

- Hi. - Hi.

- It's nice. - Thanks.

- You have the whole house? - It's just three floors.

Hey.

Thanks.

Hi.

- Where's the bedroom? - Third floor.

Third floor. I got it.

Alex: Hey, you missed the corner.

Brenda: That's all right, driver. Pull over right there.

If anyone sees us together,

they might get the wrong idea...

or the right idea.

Excuse me.

You'd make a great spy.

Lawyers are naturally sneaky.

- You better go in first. - Do I get a kiss good-bye?

- Absolutely not. - Yes, sir.

- Oh, I forgot to tell you something. - What?

I really like the slip you're wearing.

In fact, I can't wait to take it off you...

with my teeth. Bye.

- Good morning, Debbie. - Good morning, Miss Morgan.

- Good morning, girls. - All: Good morning, Miss Morgan.

Good morning, Alex, how are you this morning?

- Fine, Miss Morgan. You? - Fine, fine.

Oh, Judge Palone called. He wants to hear from you right away.

Brenda: Thank you very much, Alex.

- They are doing it. - Doing what?

- It. - Oh, come on.

That's ridiculous.

Do you really think so?

I know so.

I have to read all those transcripts tonight.

Okay, you read, I'll make some pasta.

Oh, please don't. I have no willpower.

Yes, I've always liked that about you.

I'm serious. I've gained three pounds.

- You have not. - I have.

I'd like to take your word for it, counselor,

but a good investigator always checks his sources.

Oh, yep. There's one right there.

Stop it! I'm ticklish.

- You are? I didn't know that. - Yes, you did.

Oh, there's two. Two and a half.

I'm gonna find that third if it take me all night.

[ knocking on door ]

- Hi. - Hi.

Um, I was gonna order a pizza,

but it's kind of big just for one person,

so I thought that, um--

am I interrupting something here?

Nah.

Nah.

What the hell is that?

Uh...

well, it's a...

kind of a kinetic sculpture, sir.

What's it doing here?

Well, um, Miss Morgan, she said--

George, I've been looking for you.

Brenda, Alex says you okayed this contraption.

Well, yes I did.

I think it's just what the office needs.

You do?

I think it provides a wonderful interplay of light and shadow.

Whatever you say.

Well, what are you staring at? Girls!

Let's get back to work. This isn't an art gallery.

It's a place of business.

- Brenda: All right. - Alex: Flush against.

Oh, sorry. About like that?

Oh, yeah.

Here, wait a minute.

- Let me look at it. - All right.

[ door bell rings ]

Hang on a second.

Jeanie? Surprise.

I know I should have called, but I wanted to surprise you.

Nick's looking for a parking spot,

and we brought lots of goodies.

- You're spoiling me. - If I don't spoil you, who will?

Alex, do I have to keep holding this?

Sorry!

- Who was at the door? - Uh--

Oh, hi.

Oh, excuse me. You didn't tell me you had company.

If you would have called, I would have.

Brenda, my sister Jeanie. Jeanie, Brenda.

Jeanie, hi. I'm Brenda Morgan.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Alex has told me so much about you.

Really? He hasn't told me anything about you.

What a minute. Brenda Morgan?

That name sounds very familiar.

It's a very common name. There are pages of us in the phone book.

Ah.

So, how did you and Alex meet?

We work together.

Oh. You mean you're "Miss Morgan."

Only in the office.

Well, please forgive me.

I didn't realize that you two were...

It is a little peculiar!

Not for us.

- Hmm. - [ knocking on door ]

Hang on.

- Alex: Hey, man, good to see you. - Boy: What's up?

- Alex: Did your old man make it up the stairs? - Boy: Yeah, barely.

- I want you to meet someone. - Oh, hi. You must be--

This is my son Gregory.

- Greg. Hi. - I'm Brenda.

Dad is bringing enough food for an army.

Oh, well. We can't stay.

Man: Hey!

Anyone home?

Hey, when are you getting an elevator?

The exercise is good for you.

Oh, yeah. Well, it's good for my appetite, too.

Let's eat. Oh, hello.

Honey, this is Alex's boss Miss Morgan.

Nicholas Alessandro at your service, Miss Morgan.

- Brenda. - Oh.

Well, you don't look like the lawyers I know.

We come in all shapes and sizes.

So, um, Brenda,

how long have you been a lawyer?

Oh, I don't know. I guess about 14 years.

14 years.

Hmm. Just think, Nick.

When Brenda was graduating from law school,

Alex was still playing on the junior varsity.

Isn't that something?

Uh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Something, yeah.

Would you excuse us for a minute?

Oh, sure. Go ahead. Take your time.

Alex, this is a disaster.

She's ready to have me arrested

for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Don't worry. I was delinquent before I met you.

That's not funny.

And don't tell me she means well.

I mean, she wouldn't even give me a chance.

She thinks that I'm some kind of--

I don't care what she thinks, okay?

Baby, I don't care.

I don't give a damn what anybody thinks.

Jeanie: Gregory, don't unwrap any of the food

until I scrub that counter.

Yeah, okay. Our place next time.

- All right, sure. - See you.

- See ya! - Nicholas: Yeah.

Here's your hat. What's your hurry?

It wasn't that bad, was it?

- Your sister's right. - About what?

I'm too old for you.

You know, that's a bunch of--

That's the way it is.

Do you want children?

- What? Do you? - I asked you first.

I don't know. I can see the pros and the cons.

I just thought I'd always have time to make the decision.

I don't have time, Alex. I'm not a kid anymore.

- I'm not 22. - Neither am I.

How old are you?

I'll be 30.

- When? - Three years.

It's wonderful, Alex.

It's almost as good as a backyard.

Well, I had some spare parts.

To really experience it, you kind of--

you gotta crawl through it.

Uh, white pants.

Hey.

What am I doing?

Well, I'm glad we could settle this, Brenda.

- Let's do lunch next week - All right.

I'll have my girl call your... secretary,

and we'll see you Saturday night for sure.

Right, Mike. Bye-bye.

What's Saturday night?

Oh, just this stupid formal dinner.

You don't have to go. It'll be real boring.

- You know, lawyers, lawyers' wives. - Lawyers' lovers.

Well, I don't think they'll be bringing their lovers

if they're bringing their wives.

Brenda.

We can't keep avoiding this.

I think it's time for my coming out party.

I have a feeling this is gonna be a lot of fun.

Hmm.

I told you so.

I think we need to drink-- a lot.

I'll be back.

George, hi.

Sewing on a button, huh?

Really, Brenda,

I thought we could talk about these things.

George, we have never talked about these things.

Hey, if you're happy, I'm happy.

Don't I look happy?

- Mr. Billingsly. - Thank you.

- Hi, Alex. - How you doing?

- Nice to see you. - It's good to be here, sir.

Well, yes, uh,

I have some guests to see.

Why don't the two of you mingle?

Oh, we love to mingle. Yeah.

Well, he's taking it kind of hard.

I told you this was a mistake.

- Hey, relax. - I am totally relaxed.

Brenda, I was hoping you were gonna be here.

I'm Mel Brookman. I don't believe we've met.

Alex Dante.

I need some free advice.

Parker Construction wants me to handle that negligence mess.

I wouldn't touch that, Mel.

Well, what do you think, Alex?

Well, I agree with Brenda.

Well, actually, I'm not a lawyer, really, so...

Oh, what business are you in?

- Um... - He's in the, um,

secretarial business.

Really? I'm sure we've used some of your girls.

We have temps in all the time.

- I doubt it. - You know, Mel,

the more I think about that Parker case, the worse it seems.

I have a feeling that they're gonna declare bankruptcy

and you'll be left without a penny.

That's all I had to hear. Thanks, Brenda.

- Nice meeting you, Alex. - Nice meeting you, too.

Bye, Mel.

Well, I admire your amateur ventriloquism.

I can speak for myself.

Every time you speak for yourself,

you call everybody "sir."

Hey, if you're having a problem--

I'm not having a problem, Alex. I'm simply hungry.

I'm going to have something to eat.

Good. I'll mingle.

Brenda!

Mary, hi. I love your dress.

George tells me you brought your secretary.

I think that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard.

Well, I just thought he ought to meet all the clients.

He's very bright, has great potential.

Oh, then, it's strictly business?

I guess I jumped to the wrong conclusion.

I guess you did.

Bye-bye.

Brenda.

- Hey, Brenda - Mike.

- Hi, Doris. I love your dress. - Thank you.

Alex was just telling us what it's like to be dating his boss.

This is such a great story. You two should write a book.

Well, I was just saying how great it is.

We're both professionals, we have our own jobs,

and yet our private life is our own.

Doris: That is so healthy.

Really, Brenda, you two are so healthy.

Actually, I'm not feeling very well.

- Are you sick? - Mm-hmm. Sick.

Alex: Well, I guess we should be going?

- Mm-hmm. Bye. - See you again.

- Good seeing you again. - Take care.

- What hurts? - What hurts what?

You said you were sick. What is it, your stomach or your head?

Both. They both hurt very much.

There's nothing wrong with you, is there?

- What are you talking about? - It's me, isn't it?

- Come on, Alex. - Look at yourself.

You're embarrassed. You're ashamed to be here with me.

- That's ridiculous. - Is it?

Then why are we leaving a perfectly good party

with perfectly good people?

- I have a headache. - No, you don't.

Look, I brought you to this party.

- It's only fair-- - So, you could call the shots.

We both knew this was gonna be a difficult situation.

It wasn't difficult. You made it difficult.

Me? You're the one who went around

calling everyone "sir"

and telling everyone you were my secretary.

Why didn't you just say you were an artist?

Because besides being an artist, I am a secretary,

and you seem to be the only one that has a problem with that.

- Me? - This must be driving you crazy.

I mean, behind closed doors, that's one thing,

but out in public, to actually be seen

with someone as low on the success ladder as me--

- Oh, please, Alex. - You almost had me fooled.

I mean, I really believed that you were gonna

treat me with respect, as an equal,

but you always wanted to have the upper hand.

What are you talking about?

I have tried to be fair and open minded.

But you just couldn't be discreet enough

to protect our privacy, could you?

Why did you have to go and ruin everything?

Me? Me?

I knew this would happen. I knew it wouldn't work out.

You knew it wouldn't work out,

and so you wouldn't let it work out.

That way you covered your butt.

You didn't have to risk anything, or--

This whole relationship

has been ridiculous from the very beginning.

- I don't know why I even bothered. - Oh, I do.

You wanted to control me

like you do everyone else around you.

As long as I stay in my place

and as long as you have control,

then everything's fine.

You've built walls around you, Brenda,

and I am tired of trying to tear them down.

Don't you talk to me like that.

You're just young and inexperienced.

Don't tell me what I am! I know what I am,

and I know what you've become.

And I don't have any respect

for that hard-driving executive crap!

You may be older than I am,

but, lady, you got a lot to learn.

Good-bye, Brenda.

I suppose her highness is at lunch?

She's in her office. She canceled it.

She's probably still worried about those three pounds.

Debbie: She told me to give you your severance pay.

Alex: Tell her she can keep it,

give it to the charity of her choice--

the Society for the Prevention of Improper Attire.

Okay.

Oh.

Tell her she can keep these, too.

I'm tired of trying to fill them.

- Bye. - Bye.

It's not a blind date, it's Charles' cousin.

I don't know, Sheila. I don't think I'm ready.

Of course, you are. It's just what you need.

No, tell Charles thanks, but I'm--

- I've already said yes. - [ sighs ]

Well, is this guy in the movie business, too?

No, he's a doctor.

- Doctor? - Mother, all doctors aren't perfect.

Haven't you ever heard of malpractice insurance?

What kind of a doctor?

A cardiovascular surgeon.

A cardiovascular surgeon!

You must be Brenda.

Yes...

even when I don't want to be.

The apartment needs a few touches,

but I can walk to the hospital

and I've got my boat at the 23rd Street marina.

Sounds like you're all set.

Well, just about.

I'm sure I'll feel more at home

once I start going to the theater and the opera.

Brenda is an opera freak. Aren't you?

Hmm?

Mm!

Freak.

Edith: I think he's wonderful.

Brenda: I'm glad you like him.

Edith: He obviously adores you.

Brenda: He's very good to me.

Edith: He has a yacht?

Brenda: It's not a yacht, Mother. It's a boat.

Edith: Did you know Frank and I love boating?

Brenda: What a coincidence.

Edith: So, you two are becoming quite an item.

Brenda: Relax. It's totally casual.

Edith: At your age, nothing is casual.

How's the sex?

Brenda: It's none of your business.

Edith: Honey, you can tell me. I'm your mother.

Brenda: How's the sex with Frank?

- Edith: It's great. - Brenda: Congratulations.

Edith: You didn't answer my question.

Darling, you look absolutely ravishing tonight.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Thank you for being so beautiful, so charming,

so perfectly delightful.

These last few weeks with you have been the best of my life.

It has been nice.

We're good together.

We're solid, stable, and decisive.

Do you feel it, too?

Yes, I guess I just never thought of it quite that way.

Well, that's the way I want you to feel.

I want you to--

No, no, no. Bring the '72.

Certainly, sir.

You are an amazing woman, Brenda.

You're everything I've searched for.

Will you marry me?

Okay.

I am famished.

What about you?

Woman: It's a rock! A major rock!

It's bigger than Princess Di's!

It's bigger than Fergie's.

I'm so jealous, I can't stand it!

- Good morning, ladies. - Miss Morgan's engaged!

- She's marrying a doctor. - Check out the jewelry.

Isn't it romantic?

That's wonderful news, Brenda.

- Oh! - Congratulations.

Who's the lucky man?

Oh, just some guy I met.

- I've got some more great news. - What?

- We won. - Won what?

Sherman Brothers! We beat the whole bloody British government.

Congratulations, partner.

- You're a genius. - It wasn't all me.

I certainly couldn't have done it without Alex.

- I've got some work to do. - Yeah, me, too.

[ murmuring ]

Oh, darling, isn't it perfect?

You know, I have been wanting to throw you an engagement party

since you were a little girl.

And here we are.

Oh, this must be the most wonderful night of your life.

- Mother? - Huh?

Can we talk in the kitchen?

Nobody has touched the mousse. I don't understand it.

Don't worry about the mousse.

I'll eat it for breakfast.

Maybe it's because the crackers are in the other room.

Mother, I need you. Come on.

All right, sweetheart, what is it?

I probably should have mentioned this before,

but I can't marry Roger.

Sweetheart, I know just how you feel.

No, I don't think you do.

Honey, it is nerves.

You have been single a long time,

and it's just normal to get the jitters.

I mean, I had them myself.

Roger just isn't my type, Mother.

- Well, you can do worse. - He's not a bad person or anything,

he's just not--

not like Alex.

Alex? Who's Alex?

Well, you know, Alex, from my office.

Your secretary?

- Former. - What's Alex like?

Well, he was just easy-going,

and down to Earth, and fun to be with.

[ clears throat ]

How was the sex?

Oh, Mother,

it was unbelievable.

Oh, sweetheart.

I didn't realize that you two...

Well, we weren't.

And then we did,

- and then we stopped. - Why?

Well, we had this stupid fight

in front of almost the entire Bar Association.

I was totally obnoxious, and he was furious, and--

oh, it was awful.

I guess I just don't understand men.

Well, I'm afraid I do.

Do you love him?

I do.

I guess?

I think.

I-- I do.

Sweetheart, when I met your father,

I didn't know anything about love.

I wanted to be a good wife.

There's nothing I wouldn't have done for him, and I have no regrets.

We had some good years. We had some wonderful times.

- We-- we had you. - But still you weren't happy?

Happy?

I was miserable. We both were.

There just wasn't enough to build a life on.

There was no spark, no chemistry, no passion.

But doesn't passion fade?

Oh, sweetheart, of course, it doesn't fade.

It grows!

I just thank God that I found Frank

and that I got a second chance,

because marriage with the right man is heaven on Earth.

And to the wrong man, it's--

It's only me.

Mm.

I think I ought to go

and see if everybody's going to have enough to drink.

Come on, darling. Everybody's asking for you.

Uh, Roger, there's something I think we should talk about.

Not now, sweetheart. We have to get back--

This can't wait. I have something to tell you.

Not now, dear. We have to--

Damn it, Roger! Listen to me.

Brenda, what is it?

You're becoming hysterical.

No, I'm not hysterical.

Actually, I feel good,

because I think I've finally figured out what's been wrong.

- And what is that? - Us.

Darling, would you like a nice sedative?

Roger...

I think we should call the wedding off.

Call it off? What are you talking about?

I'm talking about us not marrying each other.

You know, breaking up, throwing in the towel,

getting out while the getting's good?

- You're serious? - Yes, I am.

Look, I'm sorry I didn't realize this sooner.

I never meant to lead you on.

But we're the perfect couple.

No, we're not.

You're half of the perfect couple,

but I'm not the other half.

Trust me, I'd make you miserable.

This is a beautiful ring, but it just doesn't fit me.

I can't believe this.

Good-bye sounds awfully final.

Maybe we could be friends.

I don't think that's possible.

Good-bye, Brenda.

[ crying ]

Oh! Now I've done it.

I don't have Roger, I don't have Alex,

I don't have anybody.

No black. Too severe.

All my life, I've tried to be perfect.

- Look where it got me. - Honey, don't cry.

It's gonna make your eyes all puffy.

I don't care about my eyes. I hate my eyes.

I hate myself.

Alex hates me, too.

Wouldn't be caught dead in that.

Nothing I ever do turns out right.

Everything I touch withers and dies a horrible death.

Honey, don't you think you're exaggerating a little bit?

No, I don't.

Even you don't care about me.

Your own daughter's life is going down the drain

and you're cleaning out closets.

Sweetheart, take that dress off.

We have a lot of work to do.

[ knock on door ]

Well, isn't this neighborhood a little shabby

for a well-dressed

aristocrat like yourself?

Alex, I know it's too late--

But?

But I want to apologize anyway

because you were right about a lot of things,

things that I never faced before.

And I want to thank you for making me realize

that I was trying to control you, which was wrong,

even though I didn't know I was doing anything wrong.

I mean, I was just frightened of being your boss,

of being more powerful than you, of being older.

But even though I was older, you were wiser.

Of course, if I could change you, I still wouldn't want to.

It's just that before I could accept you, I had to accept myself,

which has made me a better person,

although I'm not perfect.

I mean, nobody is perfect, Alex.

We all have our faults.

And now that I've realized some of mine,

I've realized that most of this was my fault,

and I'm just so sad that I lost you.

Brenda.

We had fire and spark and passion,

and that's all that matters.

- It's all that really counts. - Brenda.

And if I had it all to do over again, Alex,

I would be different.

I would be more understanding and honest.

And I know it's too late,

- Brenda. - but I just wanted to tell you--

- Brenda? Brenda? - What?

- Would you just shut up just a second... - All right.

...so I can propose to you?

Propose?

Yeah, I wanna marry you, Brenda.

I don't want to play any games. I--

I don't want to play house. I wanna live with you for the rest of my life.

I don't wanna talk about it anymore,

and I don't wanna argue about it.

I just wanna do it, all right?

Alex, do you think we could really make a go of it?

- It's either yes or no. - Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes!

Now quick, let's have some premarital sex while we still can, okay?

Wait a minute. Wait.

- What? - Is that your best earring?

Yeah, why?

Come on, I wanna take you to a party.

A party?

A party?

Both: Nah!

[ music playing ]