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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,882 --> 00:00:07,842 - Lisa, I'm headed out. 2 00:00:07,967 --> 00:00:09,135 Thanks again. 3 00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:10,845 - Oh, can't you stay a few more hours? 4 00:00:10,970 --> 00:00:13,514 I'm making bee pancakes. 5 00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:15,892 - Um, no, unfortunately, I can't. 6 00:00:15,975 --> 00:00:17,351 I really have to get back. 7 00:00:17,477 --> 00:00:18,871 - Well, at least say hi to Meg and Mark. 8 00:00:18,895 --> 00:00:20,813 They just got here. - Oh, they did? Oh. 9 00:00:20,897 --> 00:00:24,108 - Hello, Ms. Dubek! - Oh, my gosh. Hi, Mrs. Dubek. 10 00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:26,444 - Oh, it's so good to see you kids. 11 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,630 And how nice you get to stop by for a little breakfast 12 00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:29,739 on your way to work. 13 00:00:29,822 --> 00:00:31,407 - Oh, no, school's out for the summer. 14 00:00:31,491 --> 00:00:32,926 - And I just took off because it's so nice out. 15 00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:34,118 Figured we'd just hang out, 16 00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:35,536 maybe get in the pool. 17 00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:37,497 Oh, uh, Mom, they did not have any Snickers 18 00:00:37,622 --> 00:00:39,422 at the gas station, so we got you a Milky Way. 19 00:00:39,499 --> 00:00:40,792 - Oh, that's great. Thanks. 20 00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:42,919 - Oh, and hey, these were at my house. 21 00:00:43,002 --> 00:00:44,295 - See, I told you. 22 00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:45,731 - Well, your stuff is better than mine. 23 00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:49,384 - Well, I gotta say, you two look exactly the same. 24 00:00:49,509 --> 00:00:50,909 - Oh. - And how are Brooke and Cary? 25 00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:52,220 Are they still the same? 26 00:00:52,345 --> 00:00:53,489 And I'm sorry, I still haven't seen 27 00:00:53,513 --> 00:00:55,473 Cary's new show, the "Wind" one, 28 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,368 uh, but all my friends at work say it's awesome. 29 00:00:57,392 --> 00:00:59,977 - Yeah, my friends say it is so, so awesome. 30 00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,461 - Oh, hey, if you guys do wanna swim, we're out of sunscreen. 31 00:01:02,522 --> 00:01:03,999 - Oh, I can run out to Target and get some. 32 00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:05,483 - I'll go with. - Why? 33 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,318 Do you also need something from Target? 34 00:01:07,402 --> 00:01:09,338 - No, just to keep her company. - That's nice of you. 35 00:01:09,362 --> 00:01:10,655 - Come on, you. 36 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,257 - I'm not gonna make you go to Target alone. 37 00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:13,783 - You know what? I think I will stay 38 00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:14,968 and hang for a couple hours. 39 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:17,120 - Yay! - Oh, yay! 40 00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:18,287 Oh, and hey, how's Brooke? 41 00:01:18,371 --> 00:01:19,914 She's an agent now, right? 42 00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:21,541 - Or a manager? Sorry. 43 00:01:21,666 --> 00:01:23,042 We're nothing like your kids. 44 00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:24,366 Both: Neither of us know a thing 45 00:01:24,419 --> 00:01:26,379 about the entertainment industry. 46 00:01:26,462 --> 00:01:28,381 - ♪ I-I-I'm a winner ♪ 47 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:30,049 - It's such bullshit. 48 00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,467 Like, I'm the one in the industry 49 00:01:31,551 --> 00:01:34,094 constantly doing good, and yet nothing? 50 00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,222 He had to have hired a publicist, right? 51 00:01:36,347 --> 00:01:37,724 Brooke, it's 8:30 a.m. 52 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:39,726 How are we already at a ten about something? 53 00:01:39,851 --> 00:01:43,730 But yes, anytime anyone's on anything, it's a publicist. 54 00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:46,040 How do you think Greta Thunberg got on the cover of "TIME"? 55 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,735 She hired me. - Wow, really? What's she like? 56 00:01:48,818 --> 00:01:51,153 - Well, first of all, bitch has been on a plane. 57 00:01:51,237 --> 00:01:52,363 - Brooke? - Brooke. 58 00:01:52,447 --> 00:01:53,865 - Oh. - Hey. How's it going? 59 00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:55,116 - Natalie, hi. 60 00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:57,118 - Oh, nice. You got a copy. 61 00:01:57,243 --> 00:01:58,619 Isn't that so cool? - Yeah. 62 00:01:58,745 --> 00:02:01,164 That publicist he hired was worth every penny. 63 00:02:01,247 --> 00:02:02,641 - Oh, no, he said someone from "People" 64 00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:04,184 just came to the hospital and asked him 65 00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,227 about being on the cover. - Oh. 66 00:02:05,251 --> 00:02:06,502 - Which makes total sense. 67 00:02:06,586 --> 00:02:08,712 Everyone knows he's such a good guy. 68 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,381 Anyway, we gotta get to the train, 69 00:02:10,465 --> 00:02:12,305 but it was so good to see you. - Yeah, you too. 70 00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:14,510 - Bye, Brooke. - Bye. 71 00:02:14,594 --> 00:02:16,554 Oh, they just "came to the hospital"? 72 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,598 Please. He might have these losers fooled, 73 00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:20,349 but I know that he worked for this. 74 00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:22,852 And it is my job today to prove it. 75 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:25,271 - Actually, your job today is quite a few other things. 76 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:27,023 - I just need to get into his emails. 77 00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:28,900 Oh, uh... hey, Natalie. 78 00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:31,402 I just wanna send Lance a little something, 79 00:02:31,486 --> 00:02:34,363 you know, say congrats for being so dang good. 80 00:02:34,447 --> 00:02:36,616 Do you mind DM'ing me his new little addy? 81 00:02:36,699 --> 00:02:38,076 - Yeah, sure. That's really sweet. 82 00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:39,327 Brooke, I vote 83 00:02:39,452 --> 00:02:40,620 you don't do this, 84 00:02:40,745 --> 00:02:41,972 but I have to go meet a new client 85 00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:43,497 and know you're going to. 86 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,958 So I guess just text me when you end up burning down 87 00:02:46,042 --> 00:02:47,293 his entire apartment. 88 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,965 - The addy. - Hey, everyone. 89 00:02:53,049 --> 00:02:54,467 Thank you all for being here 90 00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:57,678 to talk about helping me win the Academy Award 91 00:02:57,804 --> 00:03:00,723 for Best Actor in a Motion Picture. 92 00:03:00,807 --> 00:03:01,891 Or supporting. 93 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:03,518 No, let's... let's do lead. 94 00:03:03,643 --> 00:03:04,995 - Well, I'm sorry I can't be there in person. 95 00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:06,437 I'm still in the Hamptons. 96 00:03:06,521 --> 00:03:08,898 But I have already found the movie 97 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:11,150 to maybe get you that Oscar, Cary. 98 00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,652 - Wait, really? - It's called 99 00:03:12,777 --> 00:03:14,946 "One Night with Albert," and it's about a gay man 100 00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:17,907 who had a brief love affair with Albert Einstein 101 00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:20,827 the night before he published his theory of relativity. 102 00:03:20,952 --> 00:03:22,537 - Albert Einstein was gay? 103 00:03:22,662 --> 00:03:25,832 - It's rumored he was by the writer of this movie. 104 00:03:25,957 --> 00:03:28,167 - Uh, sure. Yes. 105 00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:29,961 I... I wanna be gay Albert Einstein 106 00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,254 and win an Oscar. 107 00:03:31,337 --> 00:03:32,964 - So the role is up for grabs, 108 00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:34,966 but even though you're the lead of a TV show, 109 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,009 the producers are not 100% sure 110 00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,011 that they see you as a leading man. 111 00:03:39,137 --> 00:03:40,972 I mean, it's a sexual role, 112 00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:42,890 and you play an elf on "WindWeaver." 113 00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:44,308 So in the next month, 114 00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:45,768 I wanna have you read for them, 115 00:03:45,852 --> 00:03:47,252 get you in for some chemistry tests. 116 00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:48,288 - Oh... - I want them to... 117 00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:49,605 - The next month? 118 00:03:49,689 --> 00:03:51,858 Is there, um, any way to do this faster? 119 00:03:51,983 --> 00:03:53,623 I was hoping to fit it in before I go back 120 00:03:53,693 --> 00:03:55,360 to "WindWeaver," 'cause I am 121 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,821 completely free until then. 122 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:59,365 - I might have a way to go faster. 123 00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:00,616 - Oh, sorry, everyone. 124 00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:01,868 Uh, this is Shuli... - Hi. 125 00:04:01,993 --> 00:04:03,286 - The newest member of the team. 126 00:04:03,369 --> 00:04:04,513 She wouldn't work with me before 127 00:04:04,537 --> 00:04:06,706 because I was too small-time, 128 00:04:06,831 --> 00:04:09,500 uh, but last night, she emailed begging me to hire her. 129 00:04:09,584 --> 00:04:11,210 - Oh, I wouldn't say begging. 130 00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:12,712 - Well, I have it here printed out. 131 00:04:12,795 --> 00:04:14,338 I will kill you. 132 00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:16,673 - But I do have a faster way for producers 133 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,468 to see Cary as a leading man. 134 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:21,262 Or wait. Cary, do you have a, um... 135 00:04:22,972 --> 00:04:24,223 - Uh, yes. 136 00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:26,100 Yes, I... I do, actually. 137 00:04:26,225 --> 00:04:27,810 - Perfect. We'll be right... 138 00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:31,689 - Oh, my God. 139 00:04:31,773 --> 00:04:34,567 - Whoa. Cary Dubek is packing. 140 00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,069 - Okay. You got the role. 141 00:04:36,152 --> 00:04:38,613 They can now see you as a leading man. 142 00:04:38,738 --> 00:04:39,906 - Thank you so much, Shuli. 143 00:04:40,031 --> 00:04:41,574 - Hey, thank that big ol' pee-pee. 144 00:04:41,699 --> 00:04:43,576 - Okay, so the next step is financing. 145 00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:45,661 I'll circle up with the producers, 146 00:04:45,745 --> 00:04:47,580 see what studios they're out to, 147 00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:49,457 and this part will take a beat, so... 148 00:04:49,582 --> 00:04:52,085 - Uh, how long is, um, a beat? 149 00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:55,755 - I mean, we're looking for $20 million to $25 million, 150 00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:57,256 and... - Well, uh, 151 00:04:57,382 --> 00:04:59,675 what if I were to just, uh, call my mom? 152 00:04:59,759 --> 00:05:02,303 Like, could she finance it? 153 00:05:02,428 --> 00:05:04,639 - Damn, Car, you cray. 154 00:05:04,764 --> 00:05:06,682 And I love it. 155 00:05:07,892 --> 00:05:09,769 - Come on. Where are you? 156 00:05:09,894 --> 00:05:11,062 - Hey, Lance. - Hey, man. 157 00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,397 - Oh. 158 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,023 No shirt, huh? 159 00:05:14,107 --> 00:05:16,776 Looks like someone who works to get attention to me. 160 00:05:21,447 --> 00:05:22,448 - Hi. 161 00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:24,242 Flower delivery for Mr. Arroyo. 162 00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:25,785 Hmm. 163 00:05:25,910 --> 00:05:26,953 - Oh, Debra. 164 00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:29,122 He's the third floor, apartment 3C. 165 00:05:29,247 --> 00:05:31,124 - Thank you. 166 00:05:37,130 --> 00:05:38,631 Okay. 167 00:05:51,853 --> 00:05:53,479 Hmm, bingo. 168 00:05:55,106 --> 00:05:57,817 Huh, left your email open, idiot. 169 00:05:57,900 --> 00:06:00,027 Okay, let's search "publicist." 170 00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:02,613 Weird, okay. 171 00:06:02,697 --> 00:06:05,992 Uh, "public relations." 172 00:06:06,117 --> 00:06:07,326 No results? 173 00:06:08,828 --> 00:06:10,204 It's okay. 174 00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:11,706 I got plenty of time. 175 00:06:12,707 --> 00:06:14,917 - Whoops. Forgot something. 176 00:06:15,752 --> 00:06:17,170 - What else can I search? 177 00:06:17,253 --> 00:06:20,006 What would I write in an email to a publicist? 178 00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:24,969 No? 179 00:06:28,306 --> 00:06:29,724 Nothing? 180 00:06:34,937 --> 00:06:37,482 Does he just never send any emails? 181 00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:39,192 Oh, hell yeah. 182 00:06:39,317 --> 00:06:40,735 - What's going on, man. 183 00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:43,029 Where you going on this fine Friday? 184 00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:44,989 - Fuck. 185 00:06:45,073 --> 00:06:46,365 Fuck, fuck, fuck. 186 00:06:46,491 --> 00:06:48,326 What do I do? 187 00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:50,161 Oh. 188 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:51,579 I'm not gonna kill him. 189 00:06:51,704 --> 00:06:53,790 - Oh, look who it is. Give me that rock, baby. 190 00:06:53,873 --> 00:06:54,916 Let's go. 191 00:06:55,041 --> 00:06:57,543 - I'll just set off the fire alarm. 192 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,713 Come on, come on, come on, come on. 193 00:07:00,797 --> 00:07:02,590 Ahh! - Okay, girl. 194 00:07:02,715 --> 00:07:04,050 Now give me that spin. 195 00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:06,594 Give me that spin. 196 00:07:06,719 --> 00:07:08,763 See you. 197 00:07:08,888 --> 00:07:10,128 - Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 198 00:07:12,892 --> 00:07:14,727 Okay. 199 00:07:15,937 --> 00:07:17,563 - This would dull an average knife, 200 00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:19,857 but Miracle Blade is not an average knife. 201 00:07:19,941 --> 00:07:21,651 Even a soda can is like butter. 202 00:07:27,323 --> 00:07:29,200 Oh. 203 00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:31,411 Jesus. 204 00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,458 - Okay. 205 00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:39,419 - Yo, Mr. McMurtry. - Oh. 206 00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:41,045 - It's Lance. - Lance. 207 00:07:41,129 --> 00:07:42,922 - Sorry, man. Forgot to give you your pills. 208 00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:44,090 - Thank you. 209 00:07:44,215 --> 00:07:47,468 Also, I had another accident in my chair. 210 00:07:47,593 --> 00:07:49,137 - It's all good. I'll run you a bath. 211 00:07:49,262 --> 00:07:50,638 We'll get you cleaned up. 212 00:07:50,763 --> 00:07:52,323 And I'm gonna close this window for you. 213 00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:53,433 We gotta keep you safe. 214 00:07:53,558 --> 00:07:55,184 - Hey, Lance. 215 00:07:55,268 --> 00:07:57,186 You're the best man I know. 216 00:07:57,270 --> 00:07:58,604 - Ah, thanks, Mr. M. 217 00:07:59,939 --> 00:08:01,219 - Wait, I actually think this is 218 00:08:01,274 --> 00:08:02,817 Cary's suit that I'm wearing. - Really? 219 00:08:02,942 --> 00:08:04,527 - Yeah. - Aw. 220 00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:06,320 - Well, and I love your suit, Pat. 221 00:08:06,446 --> 00:08:07,447 - Oh, why, thank you. 222 00:08:07,572 --> 00:08:09,782 Isn't it so gorgeous? 223 00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:12,076 And so wait, when do you go back to work? 224 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,828 - Not till September or, you know, 225 00:08:13,953 --> 00:08:15,455 really, the last week of August 226 00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:16,873 just so I can get my room set up. 227 00:08:16,956 --> 00:08:19,000 - Still so much time. That's so nice. 228 00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:20,835 - Ope, Mom, can you grab me a Coke? 229 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,211 - Oh, and some towels. 230 00:08:22,295 --> 00:08:23,629 Sorry, sorry. - Sorry. 231 00:08:23,755 --> 00:08:25,631 - Kids. Am I right, Pat? 232 00:08:25,715 --> 00:08:27,383 Always needing something from you. 233 00:08:28,801 --> 00:08:29,927 - Oh, it's Cary. - Aw. 234 00:08:30,011 --> 00:08:31,512 - Hi, honey. - Hey, Mom. 235 00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:32,929 Could I have between $20 million 236 00:08:33,014 --> 00:08:34,849 and $25 million? 237 00:08:34,974 --> 00:08:37,435 - Uh, for... why, honey? 238 00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,020 Oh, also, you're on speakerphone. 239 00:08:39,145 --> 00:08:40,813 I'm here with Meg and Mark. - Hi. 240 00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:41,898 - Hey, Cary. - Hi, Cary. 241 00:08:41,981 --> 00:08:43,231 - By the way, I was so sorry 242 00:08:43,316 --> 00:08:44,734 to see those pictures of you online. 243 00:08:44,817 --> 00:08:46,986 First your hole, now your little penis? 244 00:08:47,070 --> 00:08:48,696 - Oh, no, the penis was on purpose. 245 00:08:48,821 --> 00:08:50,021 - Oh. - Uh, it's for this movie 246 00:08:50,073 --> 00:08:52,200 I'm calling about. - On purpose? 247 00:08:52,325 --> 00:08:55,870 - It is this really beautiful indie that needs financing, 248 00:08:55,995 --> 00:08:57,139 and I was wondering if you would want 249 00:08:57,163 --> 00:08:58,706 to help get it off the ground. 250 00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:01,042 It would really, really mean a lot. 251 00:09:01,167 --> 00:09:02,710 - Uh, okay. 252 00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:04,337 I mean, sure, honey. 253 00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:05,588 - Oh, my God. - Uh... 254 00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:07,024 - Thank you so much, Mom. Thank you. 255 00:09:07,048 --> 00:09:08,966 I really, really appreciate it. 256 00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:10,885 Wow. Okay. 257 00:09:11,010 --> 00:09:12,720 We are really moving. 258 00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:14,430 - For the first time, I can see 259 00:09:14,514 --> 00:09:16,015 how you and Brooke are related. 260 00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,892 Okay, so what's next? 261 00:09:18,017 --> 00:09:20,311 - So the last piece of the puzzle is a director. 262 00:09:20,395 --> 00:09:23,481 I'll move as fast as I can and start reaching out to people. 263 00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:26,651 - And I'll start generating Oscar buzz in the press. 264 00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:29,654 In fact, I already secured you a profile 265 00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,364 in "The New York Times." 266 00:09:31,447 --> 00:09:33,950 - Whoa. And it's not too soon for that? 267 00:09:34,033 --> 00:09:37,203 - No. The Oscar for next year may have already been won. 268 00:09:37,328 --> 00:09:39,831 We gotta move. - Yes. I... I love it. 269 00:09:39,914 --> 00:09:42,583 - So since the movie's "One Night with Albert," 270 00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:45,712 they wanna do a feature called "One Night with Cary," 271 00:09:45,795 --> 00:09:47,922 where the writer will just hang out with you 272 00:09:48,047 --> 00:09:49,882 and maybe your friends and boyfriend 273 00:09:49,966 --> 00:09:53,636 at a bar or something for one night with Cary. 274 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,514 Just whatever you do on a Friday night. 275 00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:59,183 - Oh. Um... sure, yeah. 276 00:09:59,267 --> 00:10:00,977 I mean, I am actually always hanging out 277 00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:04,397 with my friends and boyfriend, uh, on a Friday night. 278 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,774 - So he'll meet you and your crew at 8:00 279 00:10:06,899 --> 00:10:08,109 wherever you want. - Cool. 280 00:10:08,234 --> 00:10:11,696 Uh, yeah, let me just, uh, call, uh, 281 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:13,573 my boyf and, uh, BFFs 282 00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:17,410 and just make sure we're on for our normal hang sesh. 283 00:10:17,493 --> 00:10:18,953 All right. 284 00:10:19,078 --> 00:10:20,997 Oh. Now it's the sister. Sorry. 285 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,166 So there was nothing in his email, 286 00:10:23,249 --> 00:10:25,918 and he washed an old man's butt for free? 287 00:10:26,002 --> 00:10:27,920 Maybe they did just ask him. 288 00:10:28,004 --> 00:10:29,964 - Shuli, no. He hired a publicist. 289 00:10:30,089 --> 00:10:32,258 I just need to see his phone contacts for proof, 290 00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:34,052 but I can't go back in looking like myself, 291 00:10:34,135 --> 00:10:35,738 because the doorman knows I stole his keys. 292 00:10:35,762 --> 00:10:37,055 - That's probably for the best. 293 00:10:37,138 --> 00:10:38,890 - So I went in as a redhead. - What? 294 00:10:38,973 --> 00:10:40,433 Why does this even matter? 295 00:10:40,558 --> 00:10:43,561 - Because if he didn't hire a publicist, he's, what, 296 00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:46,189 inherently better than us and everyone just knows it? 297 00:10:46,272 --> 00:10:47,750 I mean, what does that make me, Shuli, 298 00:10:47,774 --> 00:10:49,192 dog shit? 299 00:10:49,275 --> 00:10:51,086 - Okay, this sort of feels like a therapy situation. 300 00:10:51,110 --> 00:10:53,130 Oh, I gotta go. I'll keep you posted. 301 00:10:53,154 --> 00:10:55,114 These fucking Dubeks. 302 00:10:55,198 --> 00:10:58,076 - ♪ My whole life with you ♪ 303 00:10:58,159 --> 00:11:02,288 ♪ 'Cause you're the sweetest girl in the entire world ♪ 304 00:11:02,413 --> 00:11:05,792 - All right. - ♪ And I would die for you ♪ 305 00:11:08,419 --> 00:11:10,630 God. 306 00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:11,964 Okay. 307 00:11:12,048 --> 00:11:14,467 Michael ConEd. No. 308 00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:16,803 Sharon Haircut. No. 309 00:11:16,886 --> 00:11:19,180 Where is publicist? 310 00:11:19,305 --> 00:11:20,807 Oh. 311 00:11:25,478 --> 00:11:27,105 Unreal. 312 00:11:27,188 --> 00:11:28,272 Mom? 313 00:11:28,356 --> 00:11:29,941 - Hi, Brookie. Guess what I'm playing. 314 00:11:30,024 --> 00:11:31,192 "Apples to Apples"! 315 00:11:31,317 --> 00:11:33,027 - Ew. Literally why? - Oh. 316 00:11:33,152 --> 00:11:34,880 - Oh, what do you think about doing an exposé 317 00:11:34,904 --> 00:11:36,447 on "P!" about nurses? 318 00:11:36,531 --> 00:11:38,008 Like, how much good do they really do? 319 00:11:38,032 --> 00:11:39,200 Because between you and me, 320 00:11:39,325 --> 00:11:40,618 feels like it's more the doctors. 321 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,662 - Um, sure, honey. 322 00:11:42,787 --> 00:11:44,330 I mean, I guess we could... 323 00:11:44,455 --> 00:11:45,974 - And since we're not getting the recognition we deserve 324 00:11:45,998 --> 00:11:47,542 for our "Night of Undeniable Good," 325 00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:49,419 I wanna have meetings all next week 326 00:11:49,502 --> 00:11:52,171 about more good stuff we can do for "P!," okay? 327 00:11:52,296 --> 00:11:53,339 - Oh, rats. 328 00:11:53,423 --> 00:11:55,007 - Oh, fuck. He's out of the shower. 329 00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:56,110 I gotta go. 330 00:11:56,134 --> 00:11:57,677 - God. She hung up. 331 00:11:57,802 --> 00:11:59,178 - Okay. 332 00:11:59,262 --> 00:12:00,096 Oh! 333 00:12:00,179 --> 00:12:01,931 - Wait. Where's my phone? 334 00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:05,101 God, I always lose that thing. 335 00:12:05,184 --> 00:12:08,479 But wait, there's an app Brooke told me about 336 00:12:08,563 --> 00:12:10,064 I can use to find it. 337 00:12:10,189 --> 00:12:12,900 It makes my phone emit a big, loud screeching noise. 338 00:12:13,025 --> 00:12:15,194 - Uh... - Wait, shit, what's it called? 339 00:12:15,278 --> 00:12:18,531 Doesn't remember 'cause he never listens. 340 00:12:18,656 --> 00:12:20,283 Yet everyone says he's... - Oh! 341 00:12:20,366 --> 00:12:21,409 Find My Phone! 342 00:12:21,534 --> 00:12:22,910 Brooke told me about it at the zoo. 343 00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:24,746 She had just said that Alexis Bledel 344 00:12:24,871 --> 00:12:26,122 is probably mean in real life. 345 00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:28,916 - Okay, so he does listen? 346 00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:30,728 But who the hell talks to themselves this much, 347 00:12:30,752 --> 00:12:31,878 like, out loud? 348 00:12:32,003 --> 00:12:33,323 Who's this even... 349 00:12:34,464 --> 00:12:35,882 - Wait, it's outside? 350 00:12:36,007 --> 00:12:37,467 How's it... 351 00:12:37,550 --> 00:12:39,218 Aah! 352 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,096 What? Yo! 353 00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:44,223 Hey, man! What the hell? - It's okay. 354 00:12:44,348 --> 00:12:46,184 He's not gonna chase me in just a towel. 355 00:12:46,267 --> 00:12:48,728 - Get back here, or I'll have to chase you in just a towel! 356 00:12:48,853 --> 00:12:50,396 Fuck. 357 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:51,481 - Hey! 358 00:12:51,564 --> 00:12:53,441 Hey! - Huh? 359 00:12:55,651 --> 00:12:58,821 - Okay, where is my boyfriend? 360 00:13:00,198 --> 00:13:02,492 - Nice and light, man, all right? 361 00:13:02,575 --> 00:13:03,576 Nice. 362 00:13:05,870 --> 00:13:07,246 - Oh, there he is. 363 00:13:07,330 --> 00:13:08,915 - Out of whiskey. 364 00:13:08,998 --> 00:13:11,000 Hey, honey. 365 00:13:11,084 --> 00:13:13,669 Uh, just, uh, stopping by to see if I could ask a fave. 366 00:13:13,753 --> 00:13:16,923 Um, so "The Times" wants to do this really cool profile on me 367 00:13:17,048 --> 00:13:19,092 where I hang out with my boyfriend... 368 00:13:19,217 --> 00:13:20,977 - You know we can't be seen in town together. 369 00:13:21,094 --> 00:13:23,554 We'll get ourselves killed... or worse. 370 00:13:23,638 --> 00:13:25,098 - Totally. 371 00:13:25,181 --> 00:13:28,309 I know, uh, you are a closeted sheepherder now 372 00:13:28,434 --> 00:13:30,937 and we are only supposed to really hang up here 373 00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:32,730 on the range, 374 00:13:32,814 --> 00:13:34,440 but I just thought maybe this once... 375 00:13:34,524 --> 00:13:36,692 - Oh, I'm so fucked up since I met you. 376 00:13:36,776 --> 00:13:39,320 I'm just... I'm nowhere. 377 00:13:39,445 --> 00:13:40,321 I'm nothing. 378 00:13:41,489 --> 00:13:42,990 - Sorry, is this from your new movie? 379 00:13:43,116 --> 00:13:44,635 Because it's very similar to "Brokeback." 380 00:13:44,659 --> 00:13:47,537 - It's just, what we're doing up here, it ain't right. 381 00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:48,830 It ain't natural. 382 00:13:48,955 --> 00:13:50,665 - It's also like "God's Own Country"? 383 00:13:50,790 --> 00:13:53,835 Wait, are they making another one of these? 384 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:55,753 Or wait, is this... sex? 385 00:13:55,837 --> 00:13:57,338 Are we about to have sex? 386 00:13:57,463 --> 00:13:59,090 Oh, right. They have sex in these. 387 00:13:59,173 --> 00:14:01,050 These characters do have sex. 388 00:14:01,134 --> 00:14:03,177 Oh, thank the Lord, yeah. Let me see that dick. 389 00:14:03,302 --> 00:14:04,804 Let me see that big, fat... 390 00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:07,640 - Okay, whoa. 391 00:14:07,724 --> 00:14:09,159 Getting right to it. I guess I'll have to see 392 00:14:09,183 --> 00:14:11,644 that dick later, but, yes, let's... oh. 393 00:14:11,769 --> 00:14:13,622 Sorry, I just wanna make sure we have lube in the tent. 394 00:14:13,646 --> 00:14:14,939 Not sure I saw... 395 00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,399 - Hmm. 396 00:14:16,482 --> 00:14:17,918 Not quite sure that's gonna do the trick. 397 00:14:17,942 --> 00:14:19,402 Is there really no lube in here? 398 00:14:19,485 --> 00:14:22,238 Well, let's at least do more than just the one... oh! 399 00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:24,991 I mean, yes. 400 00:14:25,074 --> 00:14:28,202 Oh, finally happening. 401 00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:29,787 - Yeah. - Love this. 402 00:14:29,871 --> 00:14:32,039 Hooray. 403 00:14:34,667 --> 00:14:36,919 - Okay, so that's a no on the boyf. 404 00:14:37,003 --> 00:14:40,048 Guess I'll try some friends. 405 00:14:42,008 --> 00:14:43,342 Oof. 406 00:14:52,185 --> 00:14:56,647 Hey, um, so I am calling because I need some friends 407 00:14:56,731 --> 00:14:59,275 for this, uh, "New York Times" thing tonight, 408 00:14:59,358 --> 00:15:02,904 and I'm not sure if we are friends, uh, but... 409 00:15:03,029 --> 00:15:05,364 - Cary, you are my best friend. 410 00:15:05,448 --> 00:15:10,078 Oh, but sadly, I do have plans tonight with, um, a lady. 411 00:15:10,203 --> 00:15:12,413 - Oh, okay, well, I'm... I'm glad you're... 412 00:15:12,538 --> 00:15:13,873 You're getting back out there. 413 00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:15,291 And that's cool. 414 00:15:15,374 --> 00:15:17,168 I've got tons of other people I could try. 415 00:15:17,251 --> 00:15:18,771 So I wasn't dead last? 416 00:15:18,836 --> 00:15:20,046 Hell... hello? 417 00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:25,093 - Uh... 418 00:15:28,429 --> 00:15:30,069 Hey, get back here, man! 419 00:15:30,098 --> 00:15:31,808 - Cary? Why are you calling Lance? 420 00:15:31,891 --> 00:15:33,518 - Brooke? Why do you have Lance's phone? 421 00:15:33,601 --> 00:15:34,977 And what's that alarm? 422 00:15:35,061 --> 00:15:36,861 And why does it sound like you might be dying? 423 00:15:36,896 --> 00:15:38,999 - 'Cause I stole it to prove that he hired a publicist, 424 00:15:39,023 --> 00:15:40,858 but then he saw, so he started chasing me. 425 00:15:40,942 --> 00:15:42,262 And I tried to lose him by running 426 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,796 into some random building, but it turns out, 427 00:15:43,820 --> 00:15:45,863 it's a fucking utility closet or something. 428 00:15:45,947 --> 00:15:48,032 And now I'm trapped like a goddamn animal. Fuck! 429 00:15:48,116 --> 00:15:51,119 - So I take it neither of you are free for a party tonight. 430 00:15:51,244 --> 00:15:52,721 Also, why didn't you just drop the phone? 431 00:15:52,745 --> 00:15:54,390 - 'Cause I know there's a clue in here, Cary. 432 00:15:54,414 --> 00:15:55,873 I just gotta find it. - Hey, yo, man! 433 00:15:55,957 --> 00:15:57,083 I know you're in there! 434 00:15:57,166 --> 00:15:58,668 - Fuck. He's right above me. 435 00:15:58,751 --> 00:16:00,086 I gotta go, Car. - Ugh. 436 00:16:00,211 --> 00:16:01,730 So I guess I'll just text every single person 437 00:16:01,754 --> 00:16:04,424 in my phone and hope someone shows up to be my friend? 438 00:16:05,258 --> 00:16:07,176 Both: God, that's some dark shit. 439 00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:08,761 - Come on, dude! Game over! 440 00:16:08,845 --> 00:16:10,138 There's nowhere else to run! 441 00:16:10,263 --> 00:16:11,823 And you know what? I'm calling the cops! 442 00:16:11,848 --> 00:16:13,224 - Yeah, fuck, fuck, fuck. 443 00:16:13,307 --> 00:16:15,893 - Is what I would say if I didn't believe 444 00:16:15,977 --> 00:16:17,645 that we all make mistakes! 445 00:16:17,770 --> 00:16:19,439 Come on. 446 00:16:19,522 --> 00:16:22,150 - 'Cause you may have done some bad things, 447 00:16:22,275 --> 00:16:25,153 but I don't think you're a bad person. 448 00:16:25,278 --> 00:16:26,654 - You don't? 449 00:16:26,779 --> 00:16:28,257 - So how about you just give me my phone back, 450 00:16:28,281 --> 00:16:31,159 and I'll let you go but not before 451 00:16:31,284 --> 00:16:34,829 giving you $600 in cold hard cash. 452 00:16:34,954 --> 00:16:37,373 You can go get yourself a hot meal or maybe even 453 00:16:37,457 --> 00:16:39,958 a new phone, 'cause it seems like you really need one. 454 00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:42,879 - Jesus, did "People" just find him? 455 00:16:44,881 --> 00:16:46,466 Wait, holy shit. 456 00:16:46,549 --> 00:16:49,010 My PR crew? 457 00:16:49,135 --> 00:16:50,803 "You guys got me this"? 458 00:16:50,887 --> 00:16:53,264 Yes! Fucking knew it, baby! 459 00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:54,640 Hey, man, I'm sorry. 460 00:16:54,766 --> 00:16:56,559 It's just, it's been, like, this kind of 461 00:16:56,642 --> 00:17:00,813 weird amount of time without you responding, so I'm just... 462 00:17:00,938 --> 00:17:02,231 Can I have it back? 463 00:17:02,315 --> 00:17:05,568 - Oh. - Yeah, sure. 464 00:17:05,651 --> 00:17:07,695 'Cause I got just what I need. 465 00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:08,946 - Thank you. 466 00:17:09,030 --> 00:17:11,783 - Also, I do need a new phone. 467 00:17:16,704 --> 00:17:18,544 - Thanks so much for doing a profile like this. 468 00:17:18,664 --> 00:17:21,501 We find it to be a fun peek inside a celeb's life. 469 00:17:21,626 --> 00:17:24,003 It lets the reader experience them with their loved ones, 470 00:17:24,128 --> 00:17:25,295 their friends. - Totally. 471 00:17:25,380 --> 00:17:26,589 Uh, such a fun idea. 472 00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:28,174 - Can you introduce me to everyone? 473 00:17:28,257 --> 00:17:30,093 - Oh, yeah, sorry. Uh, how rude of me. 474 00:17:30,176 --> 00:17:35,098 Um, this is my ex-agent, uh, Shrimp Scampi. 475 00:17:35,181 --> 00:17:38,518 - No, actually, it's... It's Skip Schamplin. 476 00:17:38,643 --> 00:17:40,895 Wait, hold on. Is it Shrimp Scampi? 477 00:17:41,020 --> 00:17:42,939 Huh. They both sound right. 478 00:17:43,022 --> 00:17:44,232 - Oh, my God. 479 00:17:44,357 --> 00:17:47,110 And, uh, this is Vishant Acharya, 480 00:17:47,193 --> 00:17:49,862 another dear friend I met when I worked at his restaurant. 481 00:17:49,946 --> 00:17:53,699 - Yes, though it, uh, sadly shuttered on March 12, 2020. 482 00:17:53,825 --> 00:17:57,036 That fateful day, someone found a rat in their pasta. 483 00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,205 - Ew. And, uh, finally, 484 00:17:59,288 --> 00:18:02,041 this is Michael... 485 00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:03,668 Haircut or, uh... 486 00:18:03,751 --> 00:18:05,378 - My last name's actually Engel. 487 00:18:05,503 --> 00:18:06,522 I just used to cut his hair. 488 00:18:06,546 --> 00:18:09,590 - So yeah, these my besties. 489 00:18:09,716 --> 00:18:10,717 Love these kooks. 490 00:18:10,842 --> 00:18:14,220 Uh, anyway, guys, go, dance, mingle. 491 00:18:14,345 --> 00:18:16,055 - How unusual all your best friends 492 00:18:16,139 --> 00:18:18,099 are from your very distant past. 493 00:18:18,224 --> 00:18:19,475 - Well, I'm humble. 494 00:18:19,559 --> 00:18:21,853 I still cherish the people who... 495 00:18:21,936 --> 00:18:23,229 Who knew me when. 496 00:18:23,354 --> 00:18:25,565 Yeah, let's... Let's go with that angle. 497 00:18:34,282 --> 00:18:36,784 God, please let someone real show up. 498 00:18:36,909 --> 00:18:38,578 - So you stole his phone 499 00:18:38,703 --> 00:18:40,872 and he chased you for three miles 500 00:18:40,955 --> 00:18:42,415 to give you $600? 501 00:18:42,540 --> 00:18:44,500 Yeah, I think it's time to call it. 502 00:18:44,584 --> 00:18:46,711 He's just that good. - Nope, no, 503 00:18:46,794 --> 00:18:48,921 because then I saw a text from his PR crew. 504 00:18:49,005 --> 00:18:50,798 They're coming over at 8:00, so I'm thinking 505 00:18:50,923 --> 00:18:53,092 I could get there early, hide in his closet, 506 00:18:53,176 --> 00:18:54,376 and then catch him in the act. 507 00:18:54,427 --> 00:18:56,262 - Brooke, do not do that. 508 00:18:56,345 --> 00:18:58,639 - Okay, I will take that into consideration. 509 00:18:58,765 --> 00:19:01,726 - Plus, the doorman definitely knows your face now. 510 00:19:01,809 --> 00:19:04,103 I mean, you'd have to go back in in, like, 511 00:19:04,228 --> 00:19:05,980 full prosthetics... 512 00:19:06,105 --> 00:19:07,523 Like your mom used to do. 513 00:19:07,607 --> 00:19:08,816 - No, you're right. 514 00:19:08,941 --> 00:19:10,276 That would be too far. 515 00:19:10,401 --> 00:19:12,320 - That would be truly unhinged. 516 00:19:12,445 --> 00:19:15,281 It would be like the Brooke I knew is dead 517 00:19:15,364 --> 00:19:19,077 and a new, darker Brooke had risen in her place. 518 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,120 - Cool. Then yeah, I won't do it. 519 00:19:21,204 --> 00:19:22,455 Oh. 520 00:19:22,580 --> 00:19:23,557 Oh, okay, I gotta go. 521 00:19:23,581 --> 00:19:24,791 I'm walking into a movie. 522 00:19:24,874 --> 00:19:26,959 - She's not walking into a movie. 523 00:19:27,085 --> 00:19:28,002 - It's open. 524 00:19:28,127 --> 00:19:29,754 - Showtime, baby. 525 00:19:29,837 --> 00:19:32,799 Time to see your PR crew, Nurse Arroyo, 526 00:19:32,924 --> 00:19:35,468 because I know you got down in the muck for this. 527 00:19:35,551 --> 00:19:37,762 - Uncle Lance, Uncle Lance, Uncle Lance! 528 00:19:37,845 --> 00:19:39,972 - Huh? - Yes! 529 00:19:40,098 --> 00:19:41,724 The whole Puerto Rico crew! 530 00:19:41,808 --> 00:19:44,143 - Oh, my God, it's his entire extended family 531 00:19:44,227 --> 00:19:45,311 from Puerto Rico? 532 00:19:45,436 --> 00:19:46,938 - We're so proud of you, Lance! 533 00:19:47,021 --> 00:19:48,731 - Hey, you guys got me this. 534 00:19:48,815 --> 00:19:51,692 - Let's celebrate Lance all night. 535 00:19:51,818 --> 00:19:53,528 - Cary, I don't know if you heard, 536 00:19:53,653 --> 00:19:54,987 but they're making another movie 537 00:19:55,113 --> 00:19:56,713 that's kind of like "Brokeback Mountain." 538 00:19:56,823 --> 00:19:58,825 - No, I'm... I'm painfully aware. 539 00:19:58,908 --> 00:20:00,743 - Oh, I think another friend is here. 540 00:20:00,827 --> 00:20:02,304 - Oh, good, I look forward to turning around 541 00:20:02,328 --> 00:20:04,330 and seeing who it is. 542 00:20:04,414 --> 00:20:05,498 - Hey, Gary. 543 00:20:05,623 --> 00:20:07,375 - Hey. Uh, everyone, 544 00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:10,461 my old Improv 101 teacher. 545 00:20:10,545 --> 00:20:12,880 Yep, another one of my true ride-or-dies. 546 00:20:13,005 --> 00:20:14,340 Tom. 547 00:20:14,424 --> 00:20:15,984 - Hey, thank you so much for sticking with me 548 00:20:16,008 --> 00:20:17,677 despite the allegations. 549 00:20:17,802 --> 00:20:19,303 - Uh, sorry, what allegations? 550 00:20:19,387 --> 00:20:20,722 - Hmm? - Okay, what do you say 551 00:20:20,847 --> 00:20:22,449 we get the whole posse together for a pic? 552 00:20:22,473 --> 00:20:24,600 - Oh, sure. Um, and... 553 00:20:24,684 --> 00:20:26,686 And why don't we have my improv teacher take it? 554 00:20:26,769 --> 00:20:28,187 - Shouldn't we wait for the old guy? 555 00:20:28,271 --> 00:20:29,939 I think he went to go pee. 556 00:20:32,859 --> 00:20:35,236 - So much better when it's not crowded. 557 00:20:35,361 --> 00:20:37,196 Whoa, Vishant? 558 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:38,573 Long time, no see. 559 00:20:38,656 --> 00:20:39,699 - What? 560 00:20:39,782 --> 00:20:41,200 We've been hanging here all night. 561 00:20:41,284 --> 00:20:43,161 You invited me to this. 562 00:20:43,244 --> 00:20:45,246 - What? Wha... 563 00:20:45,371 --> 00:20:47,039 Oh, wait, is Cary here? 564 00:20:47,165 --> 00:20:48,249 I'm the other gay waiter. 565 00:20:48,374 --> 00:20:50,001 But I guess it's cool, 566 00:20:50,084 --> 00:20:52,378 like, you and he still hang. 567 00:20:52,503 --> 00:20:54,088 - Yeah, "The New York Times" 568 00:20:54,213 --> 00:20:55,798 is doing a profile on him, 569 00:20:55,882 --> 00:20:59,052 and they wanted all of his best friends to be here for it. 570 00:20:59,135 --> 00:21:00,887 So naturally, he thought of me. 571 00:21:01,012 --> 00:21:02,722 - Hey, why is Cary Dubek 572 00:21:02,847 --> 00:21:05,016 taking pics with the guy who cuts my hair? 573 00:21:05,850 --> 00:21:07,810 - And the guy who cuts my hair? 574 00:21:11,689 --> 00:21:13,566 - Thanks again for flying us all in, cuz. 575 00:21:13,649 --> 00:21:15,818 I don't know anyone more dedicated to his family 576 00:21:15,902 --> 00:21:16,903 than you. 577 00:21:17,028 --> 00:21:19,280 - God, I cannot do this all night. 578 00:21:19,405 --> 00:21:22,075 I guess I'll sneak out a third time? 579 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:23,659 - Wait, did I ever tell you guys 580 00:21:23,743 --> 00:21:27,080 about the time Lance tried to donate so much blood, 581 00:21:27,163 --> 00:21:28,706 he passed out? 582 00:21:28,790 --> 00:21:30,917 - Yeah, I'm out of here. - He just kept saying, 583 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,753 "Please, let me donate more. People need the blood." 584 00:21:33,836 --> 00:21:35,671 - Yeah, like, 4 liters of the stuff. 585 00:21:35,755 --> 00:21:38,424 Hey, everybody! 586 00:21:38,549 --> 00:21:40,259 - Aunt Connie, you made it. 587 00:21:40,343 --> 00:21:42,887 My girl! - Aunt... Aunt Connie? 588 00:21:42,970 --> 00:21:45,473 - How's your leg? - I'm so sorry I'm late. 589 00:21:45,598 --> 00:21:48,935 - Please, who cares? We just wanna see that ring! 590 00:21:49,018 --> 00:21:50,436 - Let's go! 591 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,772 - Aw, Connie's getting married? - Look at it. 592 00:21:52,855 --> 00:21:54,565 - Okay, wait, wait, I got another one. 593 00:21:54,649 --> 00:21:56,984 Remember the time that Lance saved that little bird? 594 00:21:57,110 --> 00:21:58,611 - Oh, my God! 595 00:21:58,694 --> 00:22:00,506 I have a "Lance saving a little animal" story too! 596 00:22:00,530 --> 00:22:02,198 - Me too. - Me three! 597 00:22:02,281 --> 00:22:04,450 - Okay, no, bye. 598 00:22:09,288 --> 00:22:10,540 - You know, Cary? - Yeah. 599 00:22:10,623 --> 00:22:12,917 - This man has a very interesting look. 600 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,002 Are you in need of an acting agent? 601 00:22:15,128 --> 00:22:16,838 - No, I'm a full-time journalist. 602 00:22:16,963 --> 00:22:18,464 - Are you in need of an assistant? 603 00:22:18,589 --> 00:22:20,383 Perhaps a brand-new Tempur-Pedic mattress? 604 00:22:20,466 --> 00:22:21,968 - Oh, my God. 605 00:22:22,051 --> 00:22:24,512 - I'm very good at picking out a person's firmness. 606 00:22:24,637 --> 00:22:27,390 You look like a seven to me. - Hey, guess what. 607 00:22:27,473 --> 00:22:29,809 I saw Cary downstairs. - What? 608 00:22:29,892 --> 00:22:31,686 I'm Cary. 609 00:22:31,811 --> 00:22:33,688 Or wait, is... is Curtis here? 610 00:22:33,813 --> 00:22:36,941 You... you didn't tell him why you were here, right? 611 00:22:37,024 --> 00:22:38,776 Just 'cause, uh, I... 612 00:22:38,860 --> 00:22:42,238 I don't want him to be mad that I invited you and not him. 613 00:22:42,321 --> 00:22:43,823 That's all. - No. 614 00:22:43,906 --> 00:22:46,451 I didn't tell him, but I met all his friends, 615 00:22:46,534 --> 00:22:47,827 and they're so nice. 616 00:22:47,910 --> 00:22:49,996 And his boyfriend, he's hot too. 617 00:22:50,121 --> 00:22:51,330 Great big lads. 618 00:22:51,456 --> 00:22:54,876 - Wait, he has... He has a boyfriend now? 619 00:22:55,001 --> 00:22:57,587 That's... that's great. - Yeah. 620 00:22:57,670 --> 00:22:59,464 And they're all going to Curtis' aunt's house 621 00:22:59,547 --> 00:23:01,716 in the Hamptons for his birthday next week. 622 00:23:01,841 --> 00:23:03,843 - Major jeals, right? 623 00:23:03,926 --> 00:23:06,179 - Yeah, no, he, uh... He always does that. 624 00:23:06,262 --> 00:23:08,222 It's... it's fun. 625 00:23:08,306 --> 00:23:11,142 It's, um... Yeah, I'm happy for him. 626 00:23:12,393 --> 00:23:14,854 - So we're gonna add a little bit of cheese to that... 627 00:23:19,901 --> 00:23:21,194 Damn it. 628 00:23:23,404 --> 00:23:24,614 Shit. 629 00:23:36,793 --> 00:23:38,503 Jesus Christ. 630 00:23:44,509 --> 00:23:46,928 Okay. 631 00:23:47,053 --> 00:23:48,721 Oh. 632 00:23:48,805 --> 00:23:51,099 Not doing that again. 633 00:23:59,190 --> 00:24:00,483 What? Oh, my God. 634 00:24:00,566 --> 00:24:02,235 Oh, no. Oh, no. Aah! 635 00:24:02,318 --> 00:24:03,486 What do I do? Aah! 636 00:24:06,572 --> 00:24:08,157 Fuck. Please, no. 637 00:24:08,241 --> 00:24:10,576 Ugh! 638 00:24:12,370 --> 00:24:13,746 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 639 00:24:13,830 --> 00:24:15,206 - Fuck, fuck, fuck! 640 00:24:19,711 --> 00:24:20,920 - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 641 00:24:21,045 --> 00:24:22,755 Oh, my God! 642 00:24:22,839 --> 00:24:25,091 Okay, so now it goes off? 643 00:24:26,676 --> 00:24:29,095 - I'm sure I have at least 30. 644 00:24:29,178 --> 00:24:30,555 - Okay, everybody downstairs. Go. 645 00:24:30,638 --> 00:24:32,098 I'm right behind you. 646 00:24:32,181 --> 00:24:34,101 I just wanna make sure everyone else is out safe. 647 00:24:34,225 --> 00:24:35,852 What's your emergency? 648 00:24:35,935 --> 00:24:38,020 - Please, quick! There's a fire. 649 00:24:38,104 --> 00:24:40,106 - Don't worry. Help is on the way. 650 00:24:42,608 --> 00:24:43,943 - Hello, ma'am! I'm here to help! 651 00:24:44,026 --> 00:24:46,612 - Whoa. That was actually so fast. 652 00:24:46,738 --> 00:24:49,824 - My name is Lance Arroyo. 653 00:24:49,949 --> 00:24:53,661 Just leave me. 654 00:24:55,747 --> 00:24:57,123 - Hey, Mack. 655 00:24:57,206 --> 00:24:59,000 Just checking in on the, uh, director sitch. 656 00:24:59,125 --> 00:25:02,670 As a reminder, I am fully free until "WindWeaver." 657 00:25:02,795 --> 00:25:06,841 Nothing else going on. So, uh, excited to shoot. 658 00:25:11,429 --> 00:25:14,348 - Hey, is Lucas Lambert Moy coming tonight? 659 00:25:14,474 --> 00:25:15,534 Would love to have him for this. 660 00:25:15,558 --> 00:25:16,934 - No. No, no, no. 661 00:25:17,018 --> 00:25:18,561 Uh, even though things are 662 00:25:18,644 --> 00:25:20,313 so, so great with us right now, um, 663 00:25:20,396 --> 00:25:24,317 I do... I just like to keep my Fridays for just my friends. 664 00:25:24,442 --> 00:25:26,110 Holy shit. Edie? 665 00:25:26,194 --> 00:25:29,906 Uh, speaking of, uh, one of my very best friends is here now. 666 00:25:29,989 --> 00:25:31,491 - Hi. Can you tell me 667 00:25:31,616 --> 00:25:33,534 who invited me to this thing? 668 00:25:33,659 --> 00:25:35,453 I, uh... I didn't save the number. 669 00:25:35,536 --> 00:25:36,930 It's not familiar to me, and they've been 670 00:25:36,954 --> 00:25:38,114 texting me for, like, a year. 671 00:25:38,164 --> 00:25:41,042 It's starting to drive me nuts. 672 00:25:41,167 --> 00:25:42,668 Oh, Cary Dubek. 673 00:25:42,794 --> 00:25:44,003 All right, that makes sense. 674 00:25:44,128 --> 00:25:45,671 Uh, all right, I have a dinner thing, 675 00:25:45,755 --> 00:25:48,383 so as far as you know, I was... I was never here. 676 00:25:48,508 --> 00:25:50,385 - Wait... Edie? 677 00:25:50,510 --> 00:25:51,719 Edie. 678 00:25:51,844 --> 00:25:53,846 Edie. Edie! 679 00:25:53,971 --> 00:25:55,556 - Okay, let's move. - Yeah, let's do it. 680 00:25:55,681 --> 00:25:58,101 - Um, I should just probably say bye to Cary first, right? 681 00:25:58,184 --> 00:25:59,685 Like, if Vishant told him I was here, 682 00:25:59,811 --> 00:26:02,063 I... I don't wanna be an asshole, so... 683 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,610 Okay, um, I guess never mind. 684 00:26:11,197 --> 00:26:12,782 - Hey, Cary Dubek? 685 00:26:12,865 --> 00:26:14,575 - Oh, my God. 686 00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:16,577 Are we friends? Hi. 687 00:26:16,702 --> 00:26:18,788 - No, I'm with Sallie Mae. 688 00:26:18,871 --> 00:26:20,682 You haven't made a loan payment in seven years, 689 00:26:20,706 --> 00:26:22,875 but you texted me your location, 690 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:26,546 so I thought I'd show up and get the $14,000 in person. 691 00:26:26,671 --> 00:26:27,880 Credit card? 692 00:26:40,017 --> 00:26:41,436 Ugh. 693 00:26:41,561 --> 00:26:43,771 - You're gonna be okay. 694 00:26:43,896 --> 00:26:45,106 Okay, no. 695 00:26:45,231 --> 00:26:48,317 I can... you know, I can walk from here, 696 00:26:48,401 --> 00:26:49,986 but thank you, sonny. 697 00:26:50,069 --> 00:26:51,320 - You got her? - Oh, my God. 698 00:26:51,404 --> 00:26:52,780 Your eyebrow's falling off. 699 00:26:52,905 --> 00:26:57,618 - Oh, um, guess that fire really licked me good. 700 00:26:57,744 --> 00:26:59,162 Yes! Yes! 701 00:26:59,245 --> 00:27:00,830 Rescue me, Daddy! 702 00:27:00,913 --> 00:27:03,291 - Okay, sort of feels like you guys 703 00:27:03,374 --> 00:27:04,917 could take it from here, no? 704 00:27:05,001 --> 00:27:06,627 - Okay, is everyone accounted for? 705 00:27:06,753 --> 00:27:08,087 - Yeah, yeah. That's everyone. 706 00:27:08,212 --> 00:27:09,881 - Let's hear it for my sobrino Lance! 707 00:27:12,133 --> 00:27:14,385 - Oh, wait, hold on, hold on. Where's Connie? 708 00:27:14,469 --> 00:27:15,970 What? 709 00:27:16,095 --> 00:27:18,598 Did she not come out with us? - I... I didn't see her. 710 00:27:18,723 --> 00:27:19,908 - Oh, shit. Connie, oh, my God. 711 00:27:19,932 --> 00:27:21,350 - She's still inside! - What? 712 00:27:21,434 --> 00:27:23,019 - Connie! - Aunt Connie! 713 00:27:23,102 --> 00:27:24,937 - Connie's still in there? - Aunt Connie! 714 00:27:25,063 --> 00:27:26,647 - C-Connie's still in there? 715 00:27:26,773 --> 00:27:29,192 My God. 716 00:27:32,487 --> 00:27:35,531 Oh, God. 717 00:27:35,615 --> 00:27:36,783 Fucking tent. 718 00:27:38,409 --> 00:27:39,285 Is that a bear? 719 00:27:39,410 --> 00:27:42,288 - No, it's me. 720 00:27:42,371 --> 00:27:44,665 It's just me. 721 00:27:44,791 --> 00:27:48,127 Listen, I can't do this anymore. 722 00:27:49,253 --> 00:27:50,171 I'm so fucked up. 723 00:27:50,296 --> 00:27:53,007 I'm so fucked up since I met you. 724 00:27:53,132 --> 00:27:57,178 I just... I got no one, nothing. 725 00:27:57,303 --> 00:27:58,864 It's not right what we're doing together. 726 00:27:58,888 --> 00:28:00,306 It's not natural. I just... 727 00:28:00,390 --> 00:28:02,392 I wish I knew how to... Oh, my God, I almost said 728 00:28:02,475 --> 00:28:04,435 quit you. Jesus! 729 00:28:06,896 --> 00:28:08,147 It shouldn't be like this. 730 00:28:08,231 --> 00:28:11,484 It shouldn't fucking be like this. 731 00:28:32,672 --> 00:28:35,383 Yeah. 732 00:28:35,508 --> 00:28:37,218 Oh. 733 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:45,768 Oh, yes. 734 00:28:45,852 --> 00:28:47,895 Oh. 735 00:28:50,314 --> 00:28:52,066 - FD's here. 736 00:28:53,151 --> 00:28:55,111 - Oh, my God. I killed Connie. 737 00:28:55,194 --> 00:28:57,196 Wait, where's that from? - She was just with us. 738 00:28:57,321 --> 00:28:59,615 She was dancing. - No, she got tired, remember? 739 00:28:59,699 --> 00:29:01,033 - Yeah, I saw her go lie down. 740 00:29:01,159 --> 00:29:02,410 - Shit. So she's sleeping? 741 00:29:02,535 --> 00:29:04,162 - We got one trapped inside. Let's go. 742 00:29:04,245 --> 00:29:05,705 Move, please. Move, please. 743 00:29:05,788 --> 00:29:07,290 Go, go, go, go, go! - Oh, my... fuck. 744 00:29:07,373 --> 00:29:08,374 Fuck. 745 00:29:11,502 --> 00:29:12,670 Look at me! 746 00:29:12,754 --> 00:29:14,422 I'm being saved! 747 00:29:14,505 --> 00:29:16,007 Oh, my God. 748 00:29:16,090 --> 00:29:17,550 - Connie! - What? 749 00:29:17,633 --> 00:29:20,094 I saw everybody else getting the royal treatment, 750 00:29:20,219 --> 00:29:23,139 so I ducked back in, and now I'm being saved 751 00:29:23,222 --> 00:29:26,142 by "People's" sexiest man. 752 00:29:26,225 --> 00:29:27,060 - Ew! 753 00:29:27,185 --> 00:29:28,936 You're related to him, Connie. 754 00:29:29,062 --> 00:29:31,898 - Oh, my God. Thank God, Connie. 755 00:29:31,981 --> 00:29:33,524 - Okay, folks, fire's been contained. 756 00:29:33,608 --> 00:29:36,694 There is some damage to the kitchen in 4C. 757 00:29:36,778 --> 00:29:38,946 Could have been worse. Could have been a lot worse. 758 00:29:39,030 --> 00:29:41,908 Special thanks to Mr. Arroyo for getting everyone out. 759 00:29:43,785 --> 00:29:46,245 - Lance! 760 00:29:46,329 --> 00:29:49,373 - It's okay. You guys just had me freaked out, yo! 761 00:29:49,457 --> 00:29:50,833 - Yeah. 762 00:29:50,917 --> 00:29:52,919 Yeah, okay. 763 00:29:53,002 --> 00:29:56,047 I guess he is just that good. 764 00:29:56,130 --> 00:30:01,719 He is truly good, and I am... bad? 765 00:30:01,803 --> 00:30:05,765 I don't think it could be any clearer that I am just bad. 766 00:30:08,976 --> 00:30:10,478 What? Hello? 767 00:30:10,603 --> 00:30:11,896 - Hi, there. Good evening. 768 00:30:11,979 --> 00:30:13,189 My name is Angelica Yates. 769 00:30:13,272 --> 00:30:14,941 I'm with the GFP Board of Jurors. 770 00:30:15,024 --> 00:30:16,609 Is this Brooke Dubek? 771 00:30:16,734 --> 00:30:18,444 - Yeah, this is she. 772 00:30:18,528 --> 00:30:20,672 - I'm calling to inform you that "ChaseDreams Presents: 773 00:30:20,696 --> 00:30:23,658 A Night of Undeniable Good" has been selected to receive 774 00:30:23,783 --> 00:30:27,286 the 2023 Peabody Award for Excellence in Media 775 00:30:27,412 --> 00:30:30,665 in the category of Public Service. 776 00:30:30,790 --> 00:30:34,585 - What? A Peabody Award? 777 00:30:34,669 --> 00:30:36,504 - Yes. Congrat... 778 00:30:36,629 --> 00:30:38,464 - Oh, my God. 779 00:30:38,589 --> 00:30:40,675 I am good! 780 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:42,719 Yes! 781 00:30:42,802 --> 00:30:46,139 Brooke Dubek is good! 782 00:30:46,222 --> 00:30:47,974 - My fucking kitchen! 783 00:30:54,439 --> 00:30:56,190 That was incredible. 784 00:30:56,315 --> 00:30:58,901 So much better than Marvel's Simu Liu. 785 00:31:00,528 --> 00:31:04,323 - Oh, I've missed you so much, Streety. 786 00:31:04,449 --> 00:31:07,994 - I missed you too, my Patricia. 787 00:31:08,119 --> 00:31:11,289 - But this just can't happen again. 788 00:31:11,372 --> 00:31:12,498 - No. 789 00:31:12,623 --> 00:31:14,500 No, no, no, because I thought about it, 790 00:31:14,584 --> 00:31:16,669 and it could be fun that you always need to wear 791 00:31:16,753 --> 00:31:18,004 prosthetics to go to dinner. 792 00:31:18,129 --> 00:31:21,215 It'll be like every day is Halloween. 793 00:31:21,340 --> 00:31:22,675 - No. 794 00:31:22,759 --> 00:31:25,428 I just... I can't have you be part of my family 795 00:31:25,511 --> 00:31:26,888 anymore, Streeter. 796 00:31:27,013 --> 00:31:28,765 I need you to just be my manager 797 00:31:28,848 --> 00:31:31,142 so my family can be my family. 798 00:31:33,186 --> 00:31:34,103 - What do you mean? 799 00:31:34,187 --> 00:31:37,023 I just... 800 00:31:37,106 --> 00:31:39,859 I didn't miss anything in Ohio except my kids. 801 00:31:39,942 --> 00:31:44,197 I was there, and I realized I don't have my kids anymore 802 00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:46,324 or not the way I had them. 803 00:31:46,407 --> 00:31:47,950 And everything in my life can be insane 804 00:31:48,034 --> 00:31:49,702 but not me and them. 805 00:31:49,786 --> 00:31:51,204 We need to be normal. 806 00:31:51,329 --> 00:31:54,582 And if we're normal, then I can handle the rest. 807 00:31:54,707 --> 00:31:58,628 So first thing tomorrow, I need to pull out of Cary's movie. 808 00:31:58,711 --> 00:32:01,047 And I need to... 809 00:32:01,130 --> 00:32:03,049 I need to fire Brooke as my manager. 810 00:32:05,134 --> 00:32:06,552 Okay, good night. 811 00:32:10,807 --> 00:32:11,766 - Uh-oh.57159

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