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How about going for a swim?

- Where are you going? - For a swim.

I asked if you were coming.

- No, you didn't. - Come on, I did.

Even if you did I wouldn't come.

I told you I need to finish this.

Good thing I didn't ask you to come.

Hi, baby. How are you?

Hi, Mum. I'm great.

Not as great as you two, of course, but well enough. Where's Dad?

Dad?

Exercising.

He'll come back fit as a bull, right?

Yeah, he will. Is everything okay at home?

Everything's falling apart without you. Come on, Mum, of course it's fine.

When is your flight, baby?

On Friday. I haven't started to pack.

I'm sure you'll be just fine.

Oh, hi, Dad!

Hi! I've been working real hard.

A proper Belmondo. Mum should keep an eye on you.

Right? We're having a great time. Aren't we, Fatso?

Fine, let me see.

Come on, let me show you around.

This is where we swim,

this is where we have drinks, this is where we go for a swim

and I mustn't forget to tell you: the northern part of Iceland is pretty.

- Make sure you go there. - Tell her to take…

- What? - To take care of herself.

Right. Take care of yourselves.

Says your mum.

Richard?

What will you have tonight?

I don't know.

Shrimp, I guess.

Again?

So what? I like shrimp.

It's just that you eat shrimp all the time.

I know. So what?

Nothing.

Are you doing anything important?

No.

The university called. They want me to give lectures on architecture.

Where will you find the time?

You don't have time for anything as it is.

Well, it's only once every two weeks, that's not so much, is it?

You keep saying at home I'm just getting under your feet anyway.

Did I say that?

You did.

You're hardly ever home.

You picked up a really nice place.

It was a pretty obvious choice. This is the best holiday resort.

Here.

It had awesome reviews.

How about going on a trip tomorrow?

There were many options at the reception.

Like a one-day trip to an island, lunch included.

You can rent goggles, a snorkel.

And you can have a good swim.

A mask, Alice.

What?

It's not goggles, it's a mask.

All right, a mask then.

We'll see.

- That looks amazing. - Right?

Sprinkle it with some lemon juice.

No. I don't want that.

You always add some lemon juice.

Stop sprinkling!

- You always add some lemon juice. - But I don't want it anymore.

I don't want any lemon shrimps, I don't want a trip with you tomorrow.

I don't even want to be with you anymore.

What?

I don't think I understand.

I asked my lawyer to file for divorce.

Excuse me?

I want a divorce, Alice.

Why?

Why?

I can't do this anymore.

I'm totally knackered.

What's made you so tired?

I don't know. Everything.

You mean I make you tired?

Will you throw another tantrum?

No, I won't.

I'm done.

Alice, you know it hasn't been working for ages, you just won't admit it.

Why did you take me here, then?

Why did we come here?

It was our daughter's wish and I wanted to make her happy.

Look, this place is really nice.

Let's have a drink after dinner,

we can discuss it peacefully and break up on friendly terms.

Really? After 20 years of marriage you want to become good friends?

Look, my idea is totally fair.

You'll get a solid share and…

A share? For what?

For all the years of dancing attendance on you? For trying to make it worth?

To make our life worth something?

While you don't give a shit?

Don't make a scene.

Yeah, of course.

Don't talk, don't breathe. What else? Don't cook, don't wash, don't clean.

So after all the years you tell me not to make a scene and I'll get a share?

Get divorced.

I know it's difficult.

I'm sorry about it too, you know?

We should tell Veronica.

This can wait until she's back from Iceland.

Your sudden burst of honesty doesn't have to spoil all our holidays.

Fine. As you wish.

Why now?

Why so suddenly?

I met someone.

How long?

Is it important?

It is important.

About a year. I don't know.

Maybe we should go home earlier.

Arrange it.

I don't want to spend another minute of my life with you.

- It's holiday season. It won't be easy. - Sort it out.

What is this?

A plane.

What is this jalopy?

Nothing else was available.

Didn't you say a smaller plane?

Is this big, or what?

It's a cargo plane.

There are no other planes. We're lucky he's willing to take us with him.

But if you wanna be stuck here for another three days, help yourself.

We won't get inland any sooner, everything is booked. I told you.

- So what was I supposed to do? - I don't know!

Do you consider this okay?

A chicken.

Probably flying somewhere too.

Hold on to this thing up here.

Hold on tight.

What is this?

It's weird!

I guess it's normal.

This is not normal!

You're not normal!

He's fallen asleep!

He's wearing a headset. He can't hear you. A headset!

Go to him then!

- What the fuck? - What's wrong?

Help me!

I can't!

I must hold on tight!

For fuck's sake.

Richard! Richard, we're going to die!

Hello!

Hello!

Richard!

Richard.

Richard, wake up.

It's okay. Are you okay?

Thank God, you're alive.

I'm not sure.

What happened?

Come on.

Are you okay?

We crashed.

Where are we?

On a beach.

Broken.

At least you won't be glued to it.

Now you're starting with this?

Have you called anyone?

How?

Has no one showed up yet?

Can you see anyone around here?

What island is this?

You just woke me from a coma.

How the fuck should I know?

You always boast about your skills,

about you being smart like a dolphin so I thought you might know that.

I don't. I can see exactly what you can see. Poorly.

Ouch.

What are you doing?

Stop being mean, or help yourself.

- Do you really want to quarrel now? - No, I don't!

They'll come fetch us in no time so make sure you don't get lost!

Or I might as well leave you here.

Oh, no.

Bloody hell.

Stop wasting that water, will you?

I might want to have a sip.

Go get your bottle.

You told me not to bring it with us. You said it's a fucking nonsense!

So screw you.

Hello!

Is there anybody here?

Fuck.

Here.

I've brought several bottles.

Thanks.

Not a soul around, right?

It's weird.

You said they'd be here in no time.

I know. No need to repeat it.

- It's just that no one's here. - Right.

So when will they be here?

Do I look like a clairvoyant?

No. You don't.

Alice!

What's wrong?

What happened to you?

Now that's a sight for sore eyes.

Stop laughing, you moron.

- I was scared something happened to you. - Didn't it?

- It will disappear. - When? In a year? Look how big it is.

- What is it? - Probably sand fleas.

Where were you?

- Come with me. - Now? Look at me!

Sure, worry about that here.

Come on.

Your eye looks awful.

Oh, well. Let's go.

This is it.

And what does it mean?

It means we're on an island.

And where are the people?

Apparently, there aren't any.

How come? There are people everywhere.

Except here, as you can see.

I knew it.

I said let's go to Bali, but no, sir, we had to slog to this hellhole.

Give me a break with fucking Bali. That place is like Times Square.

While this place is like a cemetery.

Why didn't I call the whole thing off?

I am afraid our rescue mission might take a little bit longer.

Longer? What do you mean longer?

It might take some time before they find us.

How long?

A day. Two days.

A week. I don't know!

A week? The two of us here?

Why don't they use a satellite?

Or radar, or let them switch on the locator for the black box.

Well, it will take a few days. Surely you can bear with me, can't you?

A moment with you feels like eternity.

Where are you going?

To a mall. For a coffee.

Don't be silly. What are you doing?

What? I'm trying to save us.

Someone has to.

Really? And who will see it?

The only plane around is in the sea.

The plane that you arranged.

So typical! It's your fault!

It's the result of all your arrangements! Didn't you feel weird flying that crate?

You could have said something.

I did! I said it was rusty!

I hoped you could arrange one thing that doesn't turn into a fuck-up. And?

It's a fuck-up!

You've ruined my life.

You've ruined mine.

Ouch!

I don't want to die here with you!

You must keep that leg dry!

All right, have it!

Come here.

- You have no business being here. - Jesus!

I'm thirsty because you're a water-hoarder!

As far as I know, we're separated.

Could you just lay off now?

No, I can't.

What are you doing?

A dividing line. My half, your half.

Why should you get this half?

Keep this half for all I care but stay away from mine!

Both halves have a beach, a jungle, you have an ocean here.

Your beloved paradise, and you have a hen instead of that chick of yours.

As if she was here with you.

You're so pathetic.

Pick one.

I take this one.

Richard!

What?

Thanks. I've just swept it clean.

- Over there! - What's there?

He's there!

- A bit further. - It's fine.

Are you robbing a corpse?

What good is it for him?

He might have a family.

I paid him to transport us and I'm stuck here instead.

I'm taking this.

You're disgusting.

Where are you going? We must bury him.

I am no undertaker.

You think I am?

You're lucky you're dead.

You'd better do something about it. Or you'll end up like him.

Mind your own business. At least you'll get rid of me.

Really? I'll have to dig another hole.

I'll dig it in advance, don't worry.

It's about time you started.

Rest in peace.

You may have been a good person but definitely a second-rate pilot.

So, thanks.

In the name of the Father, of the Son and of that Holy Spirit too.

Amen.

Now you're rich, huh?

Alice!

What now?

Ouch! Are you crazy?

Come on, I haven't even touched you.

You have. You have no idea how much it hurts.

- Do it yourself, then. - Jesus, wait.

I'll keep my trap shut.

Apologize.

Yeah, right. For what?

Apologize or I'm leaving.

- I'm sorry. - Louder.

I am sorry! Okay? I'm dying here.

Bite into this.

Wait, what do you want to do?

The only thing that can be done with a giant hole like this.

Have you ever done this?

Nope. But I darned your socks.

Stop twitching, or I'll miss.

Here, chick, chick.

Here, chick, chick.

Here, chick, chick, chick, chick!

- Hi. What's up? - Hi.

Have you opened the coconuts?

No. I have no tools.

We should start to cooperate a bit.

That's a new one.

What did you discover in the jungle?

None of your business.

Go discover it yourself.

You put it in my backpack.

Now you can open some coconuts.

Fine. I found water we can drink after we boil it.

Will you take me to that place?

What will I get for it?

I've just given you a knife.

What? Forget it.

I need you to mend this.

Throw in coconuts. I can't open them.

Fine.

And you could also catch the chicken.

Leave the trousers here.

Get lost!

Shoo!

I'm fine. Are you going?

Are you sure this is the right way?

I am, Alice.

I know where I'm going, aren't I?

This is beautiful.

Are you going to stare at me?

Should I poke my eyes out?

At home we take turns in the bathroom.

I take mornings, you take afternoons.

As you wish.

Chop-chop.

What chop-chop?

Would you give me some privacy, please?

If you get lost on your way back kindly don't yell at me.

I shall die silently.

Richard?

Richard, is it you?

Shoo! Get lost, you beast.

Get lost, will you?

Where do you want me to put it?

In front of my house.

So. We have biscuits.

Two, four, six. Bananas that will last for a week.

- One sugar. - Save it for a rainy day.

There are enough coconuts.

The chicken.

- Let's wait and see if it lays eggs. - Okay.

I'd like to have a biscuit.

Half a biscuit.

A coconut?

Well, we can always eat insect.

No way I'm eating any bugs here.

There's plenty of them here. Bon appetit.

Save some for later.

Do you have your passport?

What for?

You lose everything so I'm just asking.

- Yes, I have my passport. - Good.

What are we doing next?

I'll try to make a signal fire.

That might help.

Should I go with you?

No, there's really no need.

- Well, I can. I'm free tomorrow. - You can, then.

I was wondering if we shouldn't try to float away from here.

On what?

On the boat.

I'd put it at our disposal.

We don't even know which way we'd go.

This place is safe. For now.

It was just an idea.

I'm going to lie down.

Let's try to go this way.

Are there snakes here?

Can you see any snakes around here?

No.

- But it doesn't mean they're not here. - Okay, they're here. What am I to do?

Be careful.

Right. The hike is over.

- Hold it. - What do you want to do?

Jump across.

- You'll fall in there. - Why would I fall in there?

Ouch! Ouch.

Throw me that.

Good. Your turn.

No way.

- Hold this hand and on three. - You almost plumped in there.

Come on.

On three. One, two, three!

How far is it?

How should I know?

I've never been here.

Jesus, that tired tone of yours.

Sorry I asked. You wanted me to come with you so don't grumble.

You keep grumbling at my tired tone and I at your constant blabbering.

- I'm blabbering? - Yep.

All right.

You know what? From now on I won't say a word!

We'll hang it out here.

Right.

Yes.

Have you brought it?

Come on, give me the dress.

What?

- Do you know how expensive it was? - I don't. Thanks God.

But now we need it.

Did you have to tear it up?

Where do you want to wear it? To a reef party?

At home.

Right.

Good. Hopefully someone spots it.

Richard? What is it over there?

Can you see it?

Wait, it looks like a…

Can you see it?

We're safe!

- Come on! Let's grab the boat! Hurry! - Let's go!

Just like the paddling trip down the river back home. Remember?

Oh, yeah.

You screaming I was the worst bow ever?

I can't remember that.

See? I remember it so well.

Because you only remember the bad things.

- Wait. - What?

What if there are…

cannibals?

Cannibals? Here?

I knew I shouldn't have asked.

I just totally knew it.

My dear, let me explain to you

that there have never lived any cannibals here,

nor do any live here now.

No cannibals, but imbeciles? Yes.

Watch out, a shark!

Don't be scared. It was a joke.

You idiot!

Come on, up!

You stupid idiot!

What's wrong with you?

Yuck.

Hello! Where is everybody?

I've brought you dinner.

No one has been here for ages.

We should leave them a message.

Yeah?

Yeah. Or let's move here.

- Can you see the beach? - I can.

When it's high tide the whole beach will be flooded.

So, sure, move in here. Take all your treasures with you.

But what if they come back?

We'll be retired by then.

Stealing again?

This will come in handy.

I'll just borrow it.

But we'll return it!

Sure.

This is just beautiful.

It is.

Look.

Falling stars.

Make a wish.

I am.

But don't leave me here.

Please.

I won't.

I got one!

Yay, finally.

What have we got here?

That's a good girl.

She lays eggs!

So it went like this. No.

Well, I'll give it a go.

So I grab one,

pull it through,

throw it over…

No, no, no, no, no!

What's wrong?

Nothing! It's fine!

I'm just not being very good at this.

But I am!

But I'm not.

- We're sinking. - We're not.

We are sinking!

We are not! Come on!

- We are. You didn't fix it! - I did.

No, you didn't fix it. Look how soft it is.

I'm going to the bathroom.

Get lost, you beast! Have you come here again?

Ouch!

What happened to you?

A bamboo fell on me.

How clumsy. I left you some water.

Thanks.

Hey, that's on my half.

Come on.

I'll lend it to you.

Veronica knows nothing.

We were still supposed to be there.

Surely she's tried to call us.

Yeah, that's for sure.

Look,

we're fine, we're okay.

That's what matters, right?

Are we though?

Yeah.

Who is she?

Come on, I'd like to know.

Soon she'll become a part of my life, so I'd like to know what she does.

She's a medical doctor.

Wow.

A medical doctor.

How old is she?

Thirty. There.

Do you mind if I go and eat this at my place?

No.

Thank you.

What changed between us a year ago?

A year ago?

When you hit it off with the medical doctor.

Alice, please.

Or has it been going on longer?

Nothing changed between us. It just happened.

I actually remember.

You stopped touching me.

You would come home late, in bed you'd turn your back on me.

You were grumpy.

Almost as grumpy as you are now.

I always thought this thing could never happen to us.

That we'll be together all the time when we grow old.

Without the fear of dying alone.

Would you like a banana?

Had I not been this stupid

I could have had fun just like you.

To think of all the guys who invited me for lunches, or coffee.

That's enough, don't you think?

When we get home I won't stand in your way. Don't worry.

I'll start living my own life,

just like I've always wanted.

I'm actually looking forward to it.

Where are you going?

You're starting to piss me off.

Me?

Acting like you're a saint and making me feel like an asshole.

I never noticed you being extremely touchy touchy with me!

You don't want to stand in my way? Fine! Some good news at last!

- Won't you eat the banana? - No!

I'm not hungry.

Richard.

Richard.

Richard.

Yeah? What's up?

It's here.

Why the blanket? You must be roasting.

It's here.

What is here?

- A snake. - A snake?

And where?

On me.

Fucking hell.

Don't move.

Since morning.

It's big.

And warm.

It'll bite me, Richard.

No. Don't move.

It will!

What's wrong?

Is it there?

I don't know.

I can't find it by touch.

It's definitely not there.

4167.

What?

A pin code to my credit card.

There are my savings for worse times.

And please, give Veronica the grandma's golden earrings.

I wanted to give them to her as a wedding present.

And the tumble dryer back then, it didn't break itself.

I broke it.

Quiet.

I got it!

Come, it's ready.

I'll never put that in my mouth.

So yummy!

It tastes just like chicken.

Isn't it poisonous?

Not anymore.

Let me see then.

A little salt?

I thought it would be better this way.

You don't mind, do you?

Of course not.

I guess I'd better take it off too?

It's up to you.

Maybe you should.

Fine, I'll take it off then.

It's stuck there.

So freedom?

Freedom.

How do you like the snake?

Shut up.

I'm picturing myself eating chicken.

Richard! Richard!

- Get up! - What's up?

A ship! There's a ship out there!

What?

- Hello! - Over here!

- Hello! - Hello!

Head lamp. I need a head lamp!

We're here!

- Help! - Hello!

Over here!

We are here!

Hello!

It's gone.

How come it sailed away?

It was way too far.

This was our only chance.

Maybe another one will show up.

Bullshit! Bullshit!

Stop freaking out.

- Veronica is surely searching for us. - Veronica?

She thinks we're dead!

Why would she think so? She doesn't.

She does! Stop feeding me bullshit!

She just does! And she'll never find out what actually happened!

What happened between the two of us!

She'll never know I died next to a man who doesn't like me!

I do like you.

But I don't like you.

Breakfast!

Stop sulking and come here.

- Enjoy your meal. - You too.

So, what's her name?

Lenka.

What "mmm"?

Just "mmm", that's all.

You do this weird "mmm". Like always.

I don't do it always.

You do!

You keep "mmm-ing".

Fine, I do do it.

I'm sick of you being constantly indignant about me.

You act like you've never cheated on me.

I've never cheated on you.

You haven't slept with me for eight months.

Have you ever noticed?

Surprisingly, I have.

I was just testing your endurance.

Come on, Alice.

Who was it?

He was a doctor.

A gynecologist.

Right.

A classic story.

He removed my uterus.

When you were in New York.

Why didn't you tell me?

Would you have come to me?

Would you have been there with me, holding my hand, saying it's okay?

Saying I'm still your wife?

Have you really never cheated on me?

No.

Alice.

Please, forgive me. I didn't mean to.

It's okay. At least it's out in the open.

I need to curb my permanent anger. You were right.

You know what?

From now on, you can tell me anything, anytime.

Deal?

Anything?

Well, there is one more thing.

A few years ago I met someone.

Who?

This man.

He was kind, caring, tenacious.

He'd bring me flowers.

Maybe I should have listened to him.

What did he tell you?

To leave with him.

Why didn't you?

Why do you think?

Because I went for a coffee with you.

Richard.

Richard.

Richard!

What?

You were screaming in your sleep.

I must have had some weird dream.

I'm going to the waterfall. Will you fetch the eggs?

How pathetic.

FATSO BIRTHDAY

Hi. What?

What's that on your face?

The island tattoo.

Are we celebrating something?

Of course.

Don't you know what day it is?

No.

It's my birthday?

Exactly.

Today?

This is for you.

Thank you.

Wow.

It's beautiful.

Did you make this?

With these two hands.

Can I put it on you?

Good.

How does it look?

Lovely.

Just like you. So I wish you a lot of good luck,

good health and someone who will take you away from here real soon.

And me too.

- Right. - Right.

And one more thing.

Where did you get it?

I found it in the ocean today.

Right.

Bottoms up.

Cheers.

Ouch.

- My fingers are really hurting. - Play some more.

- I've run out of songs. - Play anything. Anything, anything.

I'M SICK OF IT. SHE WAS YELLING AT ME AGAIN.

SHE JUST DOESN'T GET IT AT ALL. STUPID COW.

I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE OR DIE. I HATE HER!

Oh, fuck.

Alice!

Alice!

Alice!

Alice!

Stop it!

It's not what it looks like!

Alice!

Alice!

Alice!

Alice!

Alice.

Jesus, what happened to you?

There is something I need to tell you.

Because if you had kept reading

none of this would have ever happened.

Ever.

So let me read it for you now, okay?

Because if you die now I'll die with you here.

"Dear Alice, I hate you.

Anytime I look at you I feel sick because my shame just overwhelms me.

I don't know what came over me thinking I'll be better off without you.

You gave us an amazing daughter, a home, a family, roots.

And it was stupid of me to think I could ever replace it all.

It was nonsense. A stupid nonsense.

I don't want to change anything.

Living without you scares me.

But when I'm with you I'm not scared of death.

If I die here and you'll find this, I hope you'll forgive me one day.

Thank you for everything.

I love you."

I think…

I think I should have kept on reading.

What happened?

Nothing happened.

Take a rest.

You'll be fine, don't worry.

That was a salty one.

Perhaps we'll stay here forever.

Perhaps.

Poor Veronica. What must she be thinking?

Maybe she thinks we died a happy and painless death.

Is there anything you miss here?

A hot bath.

A cold beer.

A dryer.

A toilet paper.

Šumava mountains.

- Veronica. - Veronica.

Alice?

Why don't we get married?

We haven't even gotten divorced.

I know.

But there is something missing here.

I am asking you

do you take Richard Majer

to be your lawful wedded husband,

will you look after him and love him

in good times and in bad until death do you part?

I do.

I'll try to build a raft.

So we can get away from here.

We don't even know which way to go.

The sea currents will lead the way.

Like a butterfly.

I'd rather stay here.

- Right. - On the land.

We're safe here.

Like you actually said before.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Yes!

Here you are.

Bye.

Shit! Hello.

That's Richard's bottle! It's…

You must come with me, let me hug you. Great to see you!

No, that way.

Come on.

Come on, we have to go.

I don't want to.

I know.

But our daughter is waiting. Come on.

Come on.

That's blackmail.

We'll come back one day.