Original subtitles

Iain: This week there’s been a fake dumping...

[Cheering and clapping]

Three new bombshells, and heaps of drama.

- I’m pissed.

Iain: But tonight...

[Screaming and shouting]

It’s time to get your butts out and see the unseen.

- Let’s go!

Iain: Each week we’ll burst onto your screens with exclusive

must seen action from our tropical love shack.

- Bro! That’s Aquaman, bro!

Iain: We’re bringing you the island

at their most unpredictable...

- Wow!

Iain: Most irresistible, and most downright outrageous...

- I would fuck an alien, bro.

- That sounds a little dirty.

[Laughs]

Iain: We’ve got exciting bits.

- Oh, my God!

Iain: Enticing bits.

- You won’t bite.

Iain: But smelling bits.

[Farts]

- There’s my first fart.

Iain: Steamy bits.

- I’ve never seen so many sex toys before.

Iain: And bits that there is simply no way to describe.

[Shouting]

So, if you thought you’ve seen it all, well,

you ain’t seen nothing until you’ve seen...

[Shouting]

Love Island USA Unseen Bits.

- No way! - No!

- Have I won Love Island yet?

[Uplifting music]

Iain: Welcome to Love Island USA Unseen Bits!

We’re serving up a cocktail of exclusive

never seen before action from our islanders.

With a smidge of Sarah Hyland.

- Oh, my Gosh! I’m being attacked!

Iain: It’s an island party that will have you sing OMFG.

[Shouting]

We’re sure to make you scream for joy...

[Screaming]

Kay Kay: It’s a bug!

- What? What are you doing?

- It’s a bug!

Iain: As we turn things on their heads.

So, pull up a coconut and grab your curliest straw.

Hey, hey!

And brace yourself for an hour of unmissable,

unseen moments from our brand-new Fijian Villa.

Oh, love.

[Uplifting music]

Some people say our islanders are sex obsessed,

but they're dead wrong.

They're deep and complex characters

who don't just talk about sex.

They also talk about...

- I would fuck an alien, bro.

If an alien had a dumpy ass butt

and it was like looking crazy at the top...

- Like that. Like that.

- I'm like...

[Shouting]

[Laughs]

I would have to crack, but, like, face down ass up

because there's no way I'm looking at that shit

in the eye.

- That shit...

- It could be like a cyclops where with one fat ass eyeball

looking at your shit like... Marco: I don’t care.

- But what if...?

What if they come like that and they have, like, six tits?

- Like a cow? Like udders?

[Laughs]

- It’s like six, six, six, six, six, six, six.

- What do you think an alien’s moan sounds like?

[Shouting]

- I feel they would sound like computers.

It sounds like you're trying to get a connection

for a signal.

- Like the online router.

- The router, yeah!

[Laughs]

- I got you, bro.

I would have to...

I would fuck just for my own, like, you know...

Marco: Sanity? Like sanity?

- Sanity. I would have to know. It's like the “what if”, bro.

- Would you enter the UFO?

Leonardo: Enter it?

- To go where it goes? No.

- Yeah. I think they don't give you a choice

if you want to go into the UFO or not.

They just...

Leonardo: They take you, right?

- Fuck you. You're coming with me.

- It’s like, I don't get why they would take the cows

in the movies, though.

You know what I'm saying? In the movies,

they always suck up a cow every time.

- Maybe it’s because they have six tits.

- Maybe they want six titties.

Iain: I had an alien encounter once.

It was when I went to the cinema to watch Alien.

[Uplifting music]

This year, we've spared no expense

with one of the biggest and most expensive

love pads ever.

Unlike our islanders’ sex drives, it's huge.

There are two balconies, a kickass gym,

and more neon than a 1980s

aerobics instructors sex dungeon.

Oh, and this time there's an actual beach.

But we can't have a new Villa without a load of new islanders.

So, it's time to cue the gratuitous SloMo!

[Uplifting music]

These islanders move fast, even in SloMo!

- You got it, you got it, you got it.

- Ok. Ready?

[Laughs]

Oh, I broke it.

- No! We broke it! - Stop!

Iain: It’s ok, girls.

I'll nip to the supermarket and get another bottle.

- Oh, my God, girls. This is beautiful! It’s so big!

- Suns out, bums out!

[Laughs]

- Oh, my God.

- I love that! No, for real.

- All right, let’s take them out.

[Laughs]

Iain: I doubt the weather has much influence

over whether the buns are in or out.

And soon it was time to bow down to our queen

of the island, Sarah Hyland.

[Uplifting music]

Here are some unseen bits of Sara spilling the tea

with the girls, and she starts with a question

that's totally nuts.

- Are you a tough nut to crack?

- Oh, yes. Very!

Very giving, giving tough nut to crack.

- Giving tough?

[All laugh]

Oh, that’s a little dirty.

- I didn't even think about it like that!

- She’s giving us her nut and we are feeding it.

[Laughs]

Iain: And finally, the boys arrived.

- What's up with y'all? What's up with y'all?

Iain: But what are the islanders really thinking

during their coupling up?

Well, thanks to Love Island's breakthrough

AI technology, we can tell you it's, well, scientific.

Now we're still tweaking the algorithm,

so it's not 100% accurate.

But what is?

- We are going to play a game of Love Island stick or twist.

- Yeah!

- Please welcome... Leonardo.

- Like, Dicaprio?

[Laughs]

AI voice: He’s not my type. My man needs to speak Spanish.

- Thank you. - What’s your name?

- Kassy. - Kassy. A pleasure.

- Nice to meet you.

- Are you Hispanic?

- Yeah! Ok. You know some Spanish.

Iain: Like I said, we’re still fighting

turning the algorithm.

[Cheering and clapping]

Marco: Can’t wait to get out of here and get started.

- Marco, welcome to Love Island.

- How are we doing? Wow! You guys look amazing.

AI voice: He looks so familiar. Wait, is that Jim Florida?

- Anna.

We go to the same gym in Florida.

So... - What?

- We do.

- That’s fucking crazy.

[Laughs]

Iain: With Daisy and Jasmine twisting for Marco,

it's time to bring out our very own Jason Momoa lookalike,

Victor.

- Spain in the house!

- Bro! That’s Aquaman, bro!

- Girls, are you going to stick with your current boy or twist?

Go for it!

AI voice: Oh, my God. I need some Aquaman. I’m so thirsty!

Iain: Oh, no! This AI machine is definitely on the blink.

I hope I kept my receipt.

[Uplifting music]

Iain: After being put into their couples,

the islanders go off for their first getting

to know you chats, which always ends up awks.

And here are some moments you definitely haven't seen.

- What are you into?

- Besides, like, football, I...

- Ok. So, you play football?

- I do play football.

- Ok. What position do you play?

- I play receiver.

- Ok. Why receiver?

- Yeah. Daddy can catch anything.

- Ok.

- I do a little thing... - Ok.

- So, are you a sports girl or not?

- Not really.

- Ok. So. I'm from Saint Barts.

Bergie: Yeah. Which is where?

- It's like in the French West Indies.

Like in the Caribbean.

- Ok. So, like, that’s south.

- It’s... It's near, like, Saint Martin and,

like, all those little islands. It’s hard to explain.

- I had no idea!

- So, like, is that in the Gulf of Mex...?

Like, south of the Gulf of Mexico or like...?

- I don't really know.

Like...

[Sighs]

- I'm an athlete, so I do wrestle and rugby.

- Rugby?

Victor: Yeah.

- Oh, fuck. Do you get hurt in that?

- Uh, only if they catch you.

- Oh, my God.

- What else is there?

- I was really shy when I was young, actually.

- Were you really?

- Yeah. Like, I was a shy little kid.

And then in middle school, I was really ugly.

- Wow.

- Yeah! - That’s a fucking turn!

- I... I...

- I thought you were going to say something happened. No.

I was top cheddar cheese.

- So, I think that's why, like, I have a personality

because I had to create it because I was ugly.

- You mean to tell me the only reason you have

a personality is because it was your only option.

- And it was, like, sixth grade, seventh grade.

And then I switched up really quick.

- You fucking grow up out of nowhere.

- I had to grow up out of nowhere.

- So, what else?

- Ok.

- What else?

- So, I worked at Dairy Queen.

- Oh, you did? Bergie: I did.

- Oh, I love that!

- So... Yeah, I was the manager, and like...

- Oh, my God. Best job ever!

Iain: Before we go to commercials.

Anna, can you tell us what your type is

in the bedroom?

- I would totally have sex with [bleep]

I mean, who wouldn’t?

Iain: So, what the bleep did they say?

Find out Anna's dream hook up after this short break.

[Uplifting music]

Welcome back to Love Island Unseen Bits USA,

where we show you all the bits that have so far gone unseen.

We have all the best dance moves...

[Cheering and screaming]

...to get you in tune.

[Singing gibberish]

* A bad bitch alert *

- That’s good.

[Uplifting music]

Iain: Where everyday you have a nice day.

- Day two! Day two! Day two!

Iain: So, swat away any distractions...

- I really...

- Where is it?

- Oh, fuck that thing up!

Iain: And hump into unseen bits.

- Let’s go!

[Uplifting music]

Before the break, Anna was asked

what her dream hook up was in the bedroom.

So, what the bleep did she say?

- I would totally have sex with a robot.

Are you kidding me? Robots are sexy. Oh, my God.

I would do anything if you guys found me a robot boy.

If you can find me one of those, game over.

[Laughs]

Iain: C-3POMG, Anna.

[Uplifting music]

We create an entire villa with beautiful daybeds,

big cozy beds and a legible neon signs

that relate to the room you're currently in.

And despite the art department's hard work

to make the most beautiful Villa yet,

our islanders are still most impressed with...

[Screaming and shouting]

Themselves!

- We better take that shorty!

Say, wait. Say wait. Yeah, it’s kind of...

It’s kind of hard, bro.

Iain: They also love the carpet.

- Dude. We should lay on the carpet.

- No, that’s a fact. This shit gotta be comfortable.

Kassy: Oh. Oh, my God!

[Kay Kay laughs]

- See? It’s crazy.

- Dude, think about it.

Nobody stepped on this, so we're good.

- No, we’re the first ones, essentially.

- Nice carpet.

[Laughs]

Iain: The free chopsticks!

- Oh, my God. Is this chopstick?

- Oh, I’d eat some of that!

- Oh, I swear to God.

- Dude! This is beautiful!

- Protect my kisser? Yes, ma’am! I kept licking my shit outside.

- Can you open this thing for me?

- I got you. I got you.

Oh, my God.

I've never seen so much neon in one spot.

Kassy: Right? Leonardo: Yeah.

- It’s like a girl’s dream.

- I swear to God!

Iain: There's a recognition this place deserves.

Way to go, art department. Kassy loves neon signs.

- I love neon signs.

- I need that in my bedroom.

- Dude!

Iain: Who wants to tell Leo the neon signs

are in his bedroom?

He was just too distracted with the mirror to notice.

- How the hell? Is it open?

- Smatter than...

Kay Kay: Get ready with me.

- Look! More mirrors!

Iain: And they’re back to the mirrors.

- They got the best view, too. Look at this view!

- Yo!

- Yeah!

Iain: Now, I can't tell if they're looking

at the actual view of Fiji,

or just the reflections in the pool.

- Fiji!

- Fiji!

[Uplifting music]

- Ok. Ready? I’m ready. I’m ready.

Iain: The first night was like a barbecue at my place.

There were lots of hot buns, things got a bit salty,

and we ended up throwing out a badly bun burger.

I mean, Bergie.

[All] Bergie! Bergie!

- I wish I had more time in the Villa.

For sure.

Iain: It looked like five guys with one burger down, until...

[Text message incoming]

The berg got one whooper of a text.

Here are some well-done moments you didn't get to see.

- "Bergie, everyone deserves a second chance."

#stillinthegame #troupleup

[Uplifting music]

- Hashtag...

Oh, my God.

I can’t believe it.

This is, like, the greatest thing that happened to me.

Like... Where’s my bag, dude?

Wait... This way? I’m back!

Iain: The two bombshell queens marinated in chlorine

as they awaited the arrival of their Burger King.

King Bergie.

- I can’t stop smiling.

[Laughs]

- I like your muscles.

I’m impressed. - Let’s go.

- You’re in the gym. - Yes, I am.

I did a bodybuilding competition once.

Carmen: Did you?

Carmen: How’d that go?

- Uh, I got third and novice, so that was pretty good.

- That's not bad at all.

- Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

- You played. That’s all that matters.

I like that. - And then, I also played

college football.

- It's like, I love a Midwest boy.

That’s my type. I love a Midwest boy.

Are you nervous about sharing a bed with a girl?

Like... - Not with you, guys.

You guys have made me fully confident.

- Oh, I like that!

- Ok. Hannah: Good.

- Yeah. You guys are amazing.

- I like that.

- I won’t kick you or anything. We won't bite.

- I’m... - I don’t snore, either.

Do you snore?

- I don’t believe I do, but I’m, like...

- I guess we’ll find out.

- You guys wake me the hell up and get the hell out of here.

- I’d roll over and I’m, like, get it together.

- Get it together.

- “Press here for a good time.”

Wait.

Hannah: Press that button.

- Oh, my God!

- Sex toys, baby!

Carmen: Oh, no. The handcuffs!

- The hint, the furry handcuffs.

Oh, my God. Carmen: Naughty!

Hannah: No a whip!

Bergie: No!

- Oh, this is cute, you guys.

Carmen: Wait, there’s die with sex positions on them.

Bergie: No!

[Carmen laughs]

- We’re not gonna sleep tonight.

[Laughs]

Hannah: We’ll be right back, Bergie.

Iain: Bergie! Bergie! It’s Iain.

I'm hiding in the ventilation shaft.

Just relax.

Play it cool and try not to get ahead of yourself.

- Have I won Love Island yet?

Iain: No, you haven’t!

I'll let you get back to being the luckiest man on the planet.

- Do you mind sleeping in the middle?

- I do not.

- Ok, cool.

- As long as you guys don’t mind.

- No, I don’t mind. - I think it'll be dope as hell.

Carmen: It'll be dope as hell.

- This is...

- Why you...? Was that your first instinct?

- Nipple piercing!

- Put it on the nipples?

I think that’s for your wrist, bro.

- Probably.

- Like this.

[Laughs]

Oh, my Godness. How funny.

- I’ve never seen so many sex toys before.

Iain: In conclusion, anyone who's lactose intolerant

should look away because that burger

is doing some serious cheesing.

Thank you.

- This is crazy.

[Laughs]

[Uplifting music]

Iain: After almost passing a two-hour online course,

I'm a fully qualified life coach, and my expertise

allows me to ask islanders deeply personal questions,

like asking Marco about his weirdest turn ons.

- And then, obviously, weird, weird as hell,

but [bleep] kind of turn me on.

Iain: So, what the bleep did they say?

[Uplifting music]

Iain: Welcome back to Love Island USA Unseen Bits.

Before the break, I very politely asked Marco

about what weirdly turns him on.

And to build the intrigue, those crafty producers

bleeped out his answer.

But what the bleep did they say?

- And then, obviously weird, weird as hell,

but backscratchers kind of turn me on.

Like, when they scratch my back when I don't ask.

Now, when I ask, it's like, oh, all right.

My back itches.

When they just start itching my back,

I get a little excited, you know what I mean?

Iain: I have a very strong suspicion.

I know who stole my Diamante back scratcher.

[Uplifting music]

Iain: They’re very moreish these unseen bits, aren't they?

Hmm. Fancy another? Let's do it.

- My name is Ana.

Yeah!

And I am...

- A banana!

- Yeah! Who likes to hold Hannah?

- Yeah! - Who's in love with Hanna.

- Yeah.

- Who likes... too much pizza?

- Yeah.

- Who has diarrhea?

[They laugh] - Yeah.

- Retweet. - This is great.

Iain: They say people fall in love with what's on the inside.

- Five, six, seven.

Iain: So long as what's on the inside isn't bean burritos,

lentils and brussels sprouts as you'll see in this unseen bit.

[Fart] - Oh, there's my first fart.

[Fart] - Oh, there's my second fart.

- Dude, I've been ripping ass silently, but deadly.

- Really? - They'll never know.

[Fart]

- [Echo] They’ll never know, never know, never know.

[Fart]

Producer: Oh, my God.

- I farted.

Oh, gosh. It stinks.

Iain: When I was at college,

I lived with a bloke who farted all the time.

Admittedly, I was living alone.

[Fart] - Who farted?

That one was violent.

- That was me.

- Why are you bringing this shit over here?

I'm trapped. I can't go nowhere.

- I’m gonna fart.

[Fart]

- Fart. - I pooted.

- I heard a fart this morning.

- Yeah, that was definitely me.

I got the morning ripples all the time.

- Wait, didn't you blow it over towards me?

- Yeah, but it didn't stink. You would have smelled it.

- Marco thinks his farts don't stink.

- When I'm with Leo, like, I want to fart,

but I'm like, nope, not doing it.

- I'm sorry. I'm gonna fart.

Hopefully it's not loud.

[Fart] - Okay. Yeah, it was tiny.

- Bergie was burping so much.

- Iugh. Burping?

He was burping?

- But, like, he would, like,

burp and then blow it out.

- Wait, did he blow it towards you?

- He'd be like...

- Oh, my God.

- Blowing it out right in front of you?

Iain: It's actually considered very romantic

to burp directly to someone's face in

some cultures, bacterial cultures mainly.

We think it was gas bagging about gases and gagging

inside the guy's goss about something even more gross, love.

Oh.

- What was the most romantic thing

you've ever done for a girl, like, for a date?

- Uh, I flew across the world to see my girlfriend

and got us a dinner date that overlooked the entire city

and then we were welcomed to red wine sangria

because I told them to have it ready to go.

That was the most romantic shit I've ever done.

- The best date or whatever it was, we went to Cappadocia.

Is where they filmed, uh, Tatooine from Star Wars.

- Oh, from Star Wars? - You know?

Like those kind of, like... - Tatooine?

- Those weird houses. - Oh, my God.

- So That's Cappadocia.

- I didn't know that was a real place.

I thought it was all green screen.

- That's Cappadocia, dude.

I got her a...

sunrise by air balloon ride.

- What? - No way.

- No. - For the sunrise?

- For the fucking sunrise. - That’s insane.

- I'm... - Who does that?

- I'm a scared of heights.

[They laugh]

- That was... - Big one, big one, bro.

- That was the worst 45 minutes of my life.

[They laugh] - So we got in.

I thought that... - You're a big dude, dude.

- I thought that the hot air balloon,

I thought the hot air balloon would be like,

okay, you have the, the nest.

It was this high. [They laugh]

- If someone pushed me, I'm out.

I'm out. - You were terrified?

- 45 minutes in a half squat.

I was chilling in the corner like this.

I'd be like, I'm not even moving.

45 minutes like that, dude.

You are over there, like, being, like,

focused on not shitting your pants.

- Yeah. - And your girl is like,

"Are you enjoying? Are you okay? Are you enjoying?"

Like, don't even talk to me like this.

Like this is for you.

This is romantic. You enjoy it.

Don't even talk to me.

Iain: That's funny.

In the past, my romantic dates ended

the very opposite way with the girls

telling me not to talk to them.

Break time now, but don't go anywhere.

See you in a more.

[Uplifting music]

- Welcome back to Love Island USA unseen bits.

Islanders, How you doing?

- How you doing?

[they Laughs] - Practicing.

- How you doing? - How you doing?

That was good. - How you doing?

- How you doing?

Iain: [Inaudible] How you doing?

- How you doing? - How you doing.

- How you doing. - No, no.

- How you doing?

Iain: Move aside, Matt LeBlanc.

You've got some competition.

Not these guys, obviously, but somewhere, I assume.

Fiji, pristine beaches,

mountainous coastline,

summer sunsets by the sea.

But no drone could ever capture the romantic island feeling.

When you're relaxing hand in hand

with a new flame and time seems to stand still.

Until...

- You know there’s lots of bugs of Fiji out here, man.

- They love your eyeballs.

Iain: I think the contractors we hired

to bug the place fundamentally misunderstood the assignment.

- Like it's okay to, like, explore it,

but you should just... - There’s a spider on that wall.

A big spider.

- I never feel like I'm getting talked over.

Like... - There’s a roach behind you.

- Get it off. Get it off. Get it off.

Get it off, get off, get it off. - Oh, fuck. Bugs crawl.

- Oh, no. - [inaudible] Oh, it's on you.

- Oh, my fucking...

[They laugh]

- No. - Iugh.

[Spitting]

- You go back to the regular program.

Iain: Back to the regular program.

This is unseen bit scene.

There's absolutely nothing regular about this show.

Here's another unseen bit.

- Oh. - My aim was so fucking good.

- That was, that was crazy.

We'll never get that close. - Yeah.

- Yeah, no. - That one.

Okay, they're kind of sticky,

so they're sticking to my hand.

- Where'd that go? - Down.

- Oh, that was, that was close.

- What is it? - Is in your mouth.

Cocoa puffs. - Cocoa puffs.

- Oh, I need one.

- There you go. - Sounds good.

[Uplifting music]

Iain: Let's tumble our way into another unseen bit.

- Round off.

I know the top of your head hurt.

You had all would.

Iain: This unseen chat between Keenan and Kay Kay,

hashtag Keenkay, couldn't be shown

because it made the peacock, peacock blush.

- So you said you fucked somebody in a wheelchair.

- We were getting all kinky and stuff

in an environment where there were wheelchairs and ramps.

- Oh. - So, I picked her up, right?

And we're kissing, da, da, da,

set her down in the wheelchair pulled her down.

Doom, doom, doom, doom.

And then put that motherfucking lock.

Yeah. So we're just getting kinky and we was lit.

- What's your favorite sex position.

- From the side I feel like we both can be comfortable.

I can feel all over you. - Yeah.

- You can feel all over me.

- It's intimate. - It’s relaxed.

It's intimate. It's close.

You know what I'm saying?

I can turn your head back to look at me.

- Stop touching me so much. - What do you mean?

You don't let me touch you? - I do.

- Yeah. It's just a real, like, close, intimate position.

It's like I can feel the hair, I can feel the titties,

I can feel the curves, the waist, the neck.

I can look you in the eye, like, everything you can hit.

I can do it all, like, from there.

So that's my favorite. What's yours?

- I like to be on top.

- Good to know.

You like it on top? - Mmhmm.

- But do you like to finish on top?

- No.

I don't know if, I don’t know if I've done that before.

- Finish on top? - Yeah.

- This is an inappropriate conversation

and our parents watch.

- Sorry, mom.

- Wow. - [Laughs]

Iain: My mother would be proud if I had finished

on top of my class.

Sorry, mom. - Tease.

- Tease.

[Uplifting music]

Iain: Let's head into an unseen bit of bombshell.

Carmen getting to know Aquaman.

I mean, Jason Momoa, I mean Victor.

- I'm a big, like, nerd on the inside for sure.

People just don't think I like those things.

- Oh, shit. Okay.

What's your favorite...

Marvel superhero?

- My favorite superhero?

I know it's basic, but I just love him.

Okay? - Okay.

Iain: Is Carmen favorite superhero Victor?

I mean, Jason Momoa. I mean, Aquaman.

Could this spell true love or could it be game over?

Find out what happened next,

when we come back.

[Uplifting music]

Iain: Welcome back to Love Island USA unseen bits.

And if you think any of these bits have been seen,

you're dead wrong.

Still to come, we've got unseen streams

that are so good you'll forget names.

- Maybe the Jesus.

What's his name again?

I don't know, that Tarzan.

I forget his name.

Someone needs to tell me his name.

- Hannah and... uh.

- Courtney? - No, not Courtney.

- The blonde? - Clare?

- No, no, no. - Christina?

- I ain't even listen, bro.

- Chelsea? Kyle?

What's your name? Iain: So wrap up the week.

- Yeah, Anna. Everybody: Go, Anna.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Iain: With some exclusive,

unseen bits meant for your eyes only.

Before the break, we left off right

before Carmen told Victor

who her favorite superhero was.

Will she take the bait and say Aquaman?

- I know it's basic, but I just love him. Okay?

Iain: Could it mean true love,

or is it time for Victor to swim on?

Time to find out what happened next.

- Iron Man.

Iain: Well, that went swimmingly.

- But, okay, I'll get to know you more.

I feel like I know we have common interests.

- Well, this is good stuff.

Iain: Maybe Aquaman. I mean, Jason Momoa.

I mean Victor.

I have to stop doing that.

Can change her mind onto more unseen bits?

[Uplifting music]

Iain: Before the islanders entered the villa,

we filmed super sexy SloMo frolics

to understand how you can look hot

with a producer blasting a leaf blower right in your face.

Being that smoking hot isn't as easy as it looks.

These are the unseen bits you didn't get to see.

* Hello, you don't know me *

* But my world is lonely without you by my side *

* Hello, I hope that you hear me *

* 'Cause all that I'm missing is you in my life *

- I'm that bitch.

[Uplifting music]

* Can you hear me say hello *

- Love only. Oh, shit.

Okay, let's start over.

Iain: We spent so much cash on their glossy bio interviews,

we thought we'd get our money's worth

and show the answers you didn't see.

- Okay.

And I didn't change the questions in any way,

shape or form.

Pinky promise.

[Screaming]

Iain: So, Anna, on your bio,

you've listed your hometown as a mythical world of Narnia.

What's the story?

- I was born there.

I grew up there.

Most of my childhood was spent there.

I moved to Florida to go to school

because they don't have much schools there.

Iain: Destiny. What metaphor would you use

to describe yourself?

- I'm like a box of chocolates, okay?

You never know what you're going to get.

Iain: That's technically a simile, but I'll allow it.

I love Forrest Gump. Colin Hanks is great.

Cassie, can you guess the emoji

I instantly regretted sending to my mother-in-law 23 times?

- Eggplant. There you go.

Eggplant.

The eggplant.

Not just any plant.

The eggplant.

Iain: Spot on.

And that's why Iain's not invited to Christmas anymore.

Anna, what would you say if I told you

I can't stop myself kissing every circus clown I see?

- So weird. This is so weird.

Iain: Is it weird?

- It's so weird to me.

Iain: I guess it's a bit weird.

Forget I mentioned that.

Moving on.

Leo, what is the square root of 4761?

- Yeah, 69.

Iain: I don't know why that's funny.

[Uplifting music]

Iain: Love Island, the sexiest and most seductive

island tv show on Earth.

But what really happens in the bedroom

when the lights go out?

This is unseen bit sexy,

sealed section of every intimate moment

you weren't supposed to see.

I won't kiss and tell,

but the infrared cameras, well,

it's islanders after dark.

If you're easily shocked,

look away right now.

Strapping Spaniard Victors

on the prowl scaring Keenan.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who is that?

Oh, whoa. Oh, back up, back up.

Iain: What a tease.

- Oh. Iain: Oh, who's this?

- I'm scared. Iain: It's Anna.

- Guys, I'm fucking scared, bro.

Iain: Heart desire.

- Hello.

Iain: Is to try and find her bed in the dark sizzling.

It's time to take a quick break and, for me,

to take a long break from ever doing this voice again.

[Uplifting music]

[Uplifting music]

Iain: Welcome back to Love Island USA unseen bit.

- On tonight's episode of Love Island

Anna and Jasmine have figured out that the men are trash.

- [Both singing] Bring new men and throw the old ones away.

* I got something to show you *

Iain: And finally, a new boy turned up to the party.

- This boy had sex in a professor's office.

- Oh. [All cheering]

- Yes, man!

- See if he drew you down.

- Now, my mask is out.

- There's no lipstick on me, is there?

I wasn't thinking it was going to be a kissing test

or kissing contest.

Straight away.

The two kisses I got, they were nice, Jasmine,

Kay Kay as well. - Yeah.

[All cheering]

- Oh.

- You go on the block.

- Okay.

[Inaudible]

- What was the answer?

- Let's, yeah, we just wait, we just wait and see.

I don't know.

Iain: And here's another unseen bit.

- What are your summer's, like, weather wise like?

- They get really, really hot.

- Does it ever snow?

I know how stupid that sounds. - No, no, no, no.

No, no. In some places, in some places it does.

- I would have never guessed that even snow,

like, happened there. - I know.

I feel like everyone goes to Australia is, like, the beach.

- And that's all I picture.

- And that there’s great weather all the time.

And that's Australia. - Yeah.

- Yeah. It's not. It's not.

Iain: On with the show.

Cue the cheesy game show music.

It's time for beach hut blitz.

And this time I asked the islanders

to take us through their kissing style.

- Oh, this is awkward.

- I actually have a really good kisser. Yeah.

- I really don't know.

- I'm the best kisser there is. - Yeah.

- I've never been told I'm a bad kisser.

- Let me first see pucker up your lips.

Okay. That's really important.

- I would start no tongue and then slowly add it in.

Like.

- Touchy, touchy with the... like that.

- What is this thing doing inside my mouth?

- Bad kisser. Oh, my God.

- Yeah. No one wants to be smacked in the face

when they're kissing someone.

[Weird noises]

- Oh, I hate it when your teeth bump.

[Snorts]

- Or like.

- I like neck kissing.

- I love to be kissed literally everywhere.

- Let me put some lip gloss on.

We're going to make it really dramatic.

- I'm [Inaudible] right now.

- And you kind of just...

- Showing you the hand too.

- You know. This is, this is how I go over the kiss.

- I know I’m just gonna make out with some glass.

- Come here, mommy. [In Spanish] Come with me.

- Oh, that was nice.

Iain: That's all, folks.

Tune in next week for another installment of beach hut blitz.

Before I go, here are some of my memes

from my first beach hut blitz of 2023.

There's this one.

And this one.

Meme your favorite moment of the show

and post it on social media.

Hashtag Love Island USA.

Hashtag unseen bits.

See you next week.

[Uplifting music]