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1
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♪
2
00:00:03,100 --> 00:00:04,223
What is gout?
3
00:00:04,248 --> 00:00:06,163
Are you a 15th century
British monarch?
4
00:00:06,188 --> 00:00:06,965
No.
5
00:00:06,990 --> 00:00:08,002
You don't have it.
6
00:00:08,027 --> 00:00:09,027
Hmm.
7
00:00:09,391 --> 00:00:11,408
God, there's like
5,000 questions.
8
00:00:11,433 --> 00:00:12,864
You're a city employee now.
9
00:00:12,889 --> 00:00:15,465
Half your life is gonna
be paperwork, congrats.
10
00:00:15,490 --> 00:00:19,072
Hey, is it okay if I put you
down as my emergency contact?
11
00:00:19,097 --> 00:00:21,247
Well, since I'm the guy
most likely to harm you,
12
00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:22,601
it seems like a
conflict of interest.
13
00:00:22,625 --> 00:00:23,665
[Dispatch] Truck 12.
14
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,592
Resident reporting
problem with rabbits.
15
00:00:25,617 --> 00:00:27,025
907 Maple Lane.
16
00:00:28,369 --> 00:00:32,254
Question, have subjects
been observed as... wascaly?
17
00:00:32,279 --> 00:00:33,279
[chuckles]
18
00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:35,746
[Dispatch] Are you going or not?
19
00:00:35,771 --> 00:00:38,921
Yes. We'll hop right on over.
20
00:00:38,946 --> 00:00:40,095
That's it, get out.
21
00:00:40,546 --> 00:00:41,367
What?
22
00:00:41,392 --> 00:00:42,195
We talked about this,
23
00:00:42,220 --> 00:00:43,537
two lame jokes before
coffee, get out.
24
00:00:43,561 --> 00:00:45,521
[Shred] Wait, really? You
were serious about that?
25
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,137
As a heart attack.
26
00:00:47,162 --> 00:00:49,411
Hey. Come on.
27
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,805
You're taking this
too far, Frank.
28
00:00:53,111 --> 00:00:56,454
You can come back!
I learned my lesson!
29
00:00:57,329 --> 00:00:59,403
No jokes before coffee!
30
00:00:59,428 --> 00:01:02,854
[theme song]
31
00:01:02,952 --> 00:01:10,952
♪
32
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Resync By M_I_S
www.opensubtitles.org
33
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♪
34
00:01:29,395 --> 00:01:32,638
So, I've been micro-dosing
mushrooms for anxiety
35
00:01:32,663 --> 00:01:36,331
but my rabbits have gotten
into my special chocolate bars.
36
00:01:36,371 --> 00:01:39,039
Oh, that was faster
than I thought.
37
00:01:39,064 --> 00:01:41,155
This gentleman's
bunnies ate his drugs.
38
00:01:41,180 --> 00:01:43,220
They've been acting
really aggressive.
39
00:01:44,763 --> 00:01:46,413
They look pretty chill to me.
40
00:01:46,461 --> 00:01:51,740
Yeah, but in a circling the
wagon conspiratorial sort of way.
41
00:01:51,855 --> 00:01:54,856
Look at them. Plotting
something evil.
42
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:57,639
Okay. So the rabbits
are handling their high
43
00:01:57,664 --> 00:01:58,784
better than their owner,
44
00:01:58,809 --> 00:02:01,551
but sure, we'll take
them in for observation.
45
00:02:01,576 --> 00:02:04,244
Hey hippies! Sorry,
summer of love is over.
46
00:02:04,269 --> 00:02:05,918
Time to sleep it off downtown.
47
00:02:07,299 --> 00:02:09,087
[Frank] What is happening?
48
00:02:09,112 --> 00:02:11,671
- Hey! Ow!
- [rabbits squealing]
49
00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:14,530
Jeez! My God! Come on! Ow!
50
00:02:14,555 --> 00:02:17,222
Retreat, retreat! Jeez!
51
00:02:17,247 --> 00:02:19,813
I told you, they're in
a very bad headspace.
52
00:02:19,838 --> 00:02:22,411
[Frank] What the hell did
you put in that chocolate?
53
00:02:22,436 --> 00:02:23,579
I used to be a cop.
54
00:02:23,604 --> 00:02:25,456
I busted international
crime rings.
55
00:02:25,481 --> 00:02:26,431
And I'm getting...
56
00:02:26,456 --> 00:02:27,684
- Hey.
- I thought you were brave.
57
00:02:27,708 --> 00:02:29,265
You guys know about this
taco truck up the street?
58
00:02:29,267 --> 00:02:31,877
The breakfast
burritos... four stars.
59
00:02:32,103 --> 00:02:33,564
What's up with
the first-aid kit?
60
00:02:33,588 --> 00:02:36,342
It's, uh, killer bunnies
on recreational drugs, bro.
61
00:02:36,367 --> 00:02:37,808
Really? What kind?
62
00:02:37,833 --> 00:02:39,737
You know, like, basic,
floppy-eared, fluffy.
63
00:02:39,761 --> 00:02:41,852
No, no, the drugs.
What kinds of drugs?
64
00:02:41,854 --> 00:02:44,522
It's like psychedelic mushrooms.
65
00:02:44,547 --> 00:02:46,547
The homeowner makes
his own chocolates.
66
00:02:46,572 --> 00:02:48,965
Really? Did he mention
if it was straight
67
00:02:48,990 --> 00:02:50,954
or if it was cut with
purity-tested MDMA?
68
00:02:50,979 --> 00:02:52,019
Did he mention that?
69
00:02:52,044 --> 00:02:53,543
Look, this isn't Bonnaroo.
70
00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:56,130
These rabbits are higher
than my uncle at Thanksgiving
71
00:02:56,155 --> 00:02:57,460
and they're calling the shots.
72
00:02:57,462 --> 00:03:00,780
Everybody relax, okay? I got
a couple rabbits at home.
73
00:03:00,782 --> 00:03:02,057
I speak fluent bunny.
74
00:03:04,015 --> 00:03:05,418
I mean, you might
wanna film this.
75
00:03:05,443 --> 00:03:07,443
Could be a valuable
teaching tool.
76
00:03:08,190 --> 00:03:10,858
Hey guys. How are you doing?
77
00:03:10,883 --> 00:03:15,029
You know I have two rabbits
at home, Snowball and Batman.
78
00:03:15,054 --> 00:03:17,630
Yeah, we let the kids name them.
79
00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:21,368
And they are just as
cute and adorable...
80
00:03:22,579 --> 00:03:23,970
as you, uh-huh.
81
00:03:23,972 --> 00:03:26,230
That Phyllis, she's the mama.
82
00:03:26,255 --> 00:03:28,734
Oh, aren't you a
little love muffin?
83
00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:30,308
[chitters]
84
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,742
[screams]
85
00:03:31,767 --> 00:03:33,530
Oh! Get off me,
you mangy bitch!
86
00:03:33,590 --> 00:03:35,384
Hey Shred, you're always
trying to be smarter.
87
00:03:35,408 --> 00:03:37,650
Look up "hoisted on
one's own petard"
88
00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:39,910
and it will literally
be a picture of this.
89
00:03:39,935 --> 00:03:40,935
Argh!!!
90
00:03:42,817 --> 00:03:44,385
Uh, should we call for backup?
91
00:03:44,410 --> 00:03:45,410
Bunny backup?
92
00:03:45,435 --> 00:03:47,094
Dude, do you have any
idea of the ridicule
93
00:03:47,119 --> 00:03:47,994
that will come our way?
94
00:03:47,996 --> 00:03:50,111
No. We got this.
95
00:03:50,832 --> 00:03:54,359
Cuddle time is over.
96
00:03:57,008 --> 00:03:59,601
[heroic music playing]
97
00:03:59,626 --> 00:04:05,672
♪
98
00:04:07,827 --> 00:04:11,328
Hey. So, we're gonna need to
collect the medicated chocolate
99
00:04:11,353 --> 00:04:15,204
for our vet so she can
calibrate an overdose treatment.
100
00:04:15,281 --> 00:04:17,734
Right, of course.
Anything to help.
101
00:04:17,759 --> 00:04:18,759
And, um, look,
102
00:04:18,784 --> 00:04:20,647
I know I shouldn't be
messing around with drugs.
103
00:04:20,671 --> 00:04:23,287
I'm gonna turn over
a new leaf right now.
104
00:04:23,365 --> 00:04:25,758
Yeah. Drugs are bad.
105
00:04:25,783 --> 00:04:27,864
Uh, make sure you
get all of them.
106
00:04:29,538 --> 00:04:31,462
You should be
ashamed of yourself.
107
00:04:31,540 --> 00:04:33,351
No, I'm not. Not
even a little bit.
108
00:04:33,375 --> 00:04:37,319
I suspect his bars contain
psilocybin and 2CB.
109
00:04:37,395 --> 00:04:39,448
That combination is
known to give you orgasms
110
00:04:39,472 --> 00:04:41,825
and make you feel like you've
been launched into outer space.
111
00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:45,037
And rabbits have no business
experiencing pleasure like that.
112
00:04:45,062 --> 00:04:46,277
Okay. Just remember,
113
00:04:46,302 --> 00:04:47,922
you promised to watch the
kids this weekend, okay?
114
00:04:47,946 --> 00:04:49,049
And they're very excited,
115
00:04:49,074 --> 00:04:51,138
they picked out a movie and
everything, Freaky Friday.
116
00:04:51,162 --> 00:04:52,202
It's a silly premise
117
00:04:52,227 --> 00:04:53,722
but, uh, the emotion
really sneaks up on you.
118
00:04:53,746 --> 00:04:54,614
- Yeah. I...
- It does.
119
00:04:54,639 --> 00:04:55,895
- I will be there.
- Okay.
120
00:04:55,897 --> 00:04:57,367
The chocolates are for tonight.
121
00:04:57,392 --> 00:04:58,979
Do you remember that
guy I met in Costa Rica?
122
00:04:59,003 --> 00:05:00,823
Yeah. The... the
yogi or the surfer?
123
00:05:00,848 --> 00:05:01,577
The yogi.
124
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,687
So, he's in town, but he's
only free for one night.
125
00:05:03,712 --> 00:05:04,390
Mmhmm.
126
00:05:04,415 --> 00:05:07,567
He's really flexible. Just,
like... not with his time.
127
00:05:07,592 --> 00:05:08,431
Right.
128
00:05:08,456 --> 00:05:10,352
Anyway, what are you guys
up to for your big date?
129
00:05:10,354 --> 00:05:12,742
Oh, we're actually gonna go
eat Swedish meatballs at Ikea.
130
00:05:12,767 --> 00:05:13,749
And test out futons.
131
00:05:13,774 --> 00:05:15,756
I know it sounds pathetic but
I'm actually really excited.
132
00:05:15,780 --> 00:05:18,009
Maya and I, we haven't been
alone together in, like, months.
133
00:05:18,033 --> 00:05:19,005
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
134
00:05:19,029 --> 00:05:21,771
Don't be insulted but I'm so
glad I don't have your life.
135
00:05:21,773 --> 00:05:24,591
Well, you're tempting fate
'cause we could end up
136
00:05:24,593 --> 00:05:27,189
accidentally eating
magic fortune cookies
137
00:05:27,214 --> 00:05:28,927
and end up switching places.
138
00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:31,075
Is that what happens
in the movie?
139
00:05:31,099 --> 00:05:32,603
I don't wanna ruin it for you.
140
00:05:32,628 --> 00:05:35,290
You just did like... like
you told me the ending.
141
00:05:35,315 --> 00:05:36,871
Maybe I didn't though.
142
00:05:37,787 --> 00:05:39,507
- Or maybe I did.
- Huh.
143
00:05:43,278 --> 00:05:45,880
Oh, at least it's
donut Wednesday.
144
00:05:49,312 --> 00:05:51,071
What abomination is this?
145
00:05:51,096 --> 00:05:53,675
Who's day is it?
I want answers.
146
00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:54,866
I want revenge.
147
00:05:54,891 --> 00:05:57,011
Okay. But is it okay
if I have some jicama?
148
00:05:57,036 --> 00:05:58,369
'Cause I love jicama.
149
00:05:58,394 --> 00:06:01,294
No. I want revenge.
Shout it with me.
150
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,585
- Revenge!
- Revenge!
151
00:06:02,610 --> 00:06:03,408
Revenge!
152
00:06:03,433 --> 00:06:05,492
You make it sound playful.
Put some fury behind it.
153
00:06:05,519 --> 00:06:06,813
- Revenge!
- Revenge!
154
00:06:06,838 --> 00:06:08,288
- Revenge!
- Revenge!
155
00:06:08,313 --> 00:06:08,813
Revenge!
156
00:06:08,838 --> 00:06:12,743
[whispers] Shh! I'm on the phone
with my daughter's teacher.
157
00:06:14,216 --> 00:06:15,459
There's been a
horrible accident,
158
00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:16,982
I gotta call you back.
159
00:06:17,084 --> 00:06:18,008
Revenge.
160
00:06:18,033 --> 00:06:19,107
- Revenge!
- Revenge!
161
00:06:19,132 --> 00:06:20,315
- Revenge!
- Revenge!
162
00:06:20,340 --> 00:06:21,984
Okay, I proudly
take responsibility.
163
00:06:22,009 --> 00:06:24,908
Donut Wednesday, Delores.
It's a sacred tradition.
164
00:06:24,933 --> 00:06:26,911
Handed down to us by the Romans.
165
00:06:26,936 --> 00:06:29,538
You defiled this holy
tabernacle with your cru d'été.
166
00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:32,103
This is our tabernacle, Delores.
167
00:06:32,128 --> 00:06:33,814
Okay. This office
has a serious case
168
00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:35,467
of the late morning sugar blues
169
00:06:35,492 --> 00:06:37,342
and someone had to intervene.
170
00:06:37,367 --> 00:06:40,100
How dare you act unilaterally.
171
00:06:40,125 --> 00:06:42,345
It's America. It's donuts.
172
00:06:42,724 --> 00:06:43,776
Shred, throw that away.
173
00:06:43,801 --> 00:06:44,524
- Oh, come on.
- Throw it away.
174
00:06:44,549 --> 00:06:45,567
It's just a jicama stick.
175
00:06:45,592 --> 00:06:47,166
Throw it away. Spit it out.
176
00:06:47,191 --> 00:06:48,351
This is very disappointing.
177
00:06:48,376 --> 00:06:51,342
How's my favorite
under-performing precinct doing?
178
00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:53,787
Oh, you sad, sad man.
179
00:06:53,812 --> 00:06:56,056
You drove across town just to
make fun of us for the rabbits.
180
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:57,990
What rabbits? I didn't hear
anything about rabbits.
181
00:06:58,014 --> 00:07:00,939
Ha! Because there
were no rabbits.
182
00:07:01,768 --> 00:07:03,509
Hey Emily. Got
your speech ready?
183
00:07:03,534 --> 00:07:04,797
Who told you about that?
184
00:07:04,822 --> 00:07:07,517
She's giving the keynote
at the AACL luncheon today.
185
00:07:07,542 --> 00:07:10,125
Whoa. I don't know what it
stands for but congrats.
186
00:07:10,159 --> 00:07:11,632
Why didn't you tell us?
187
00:07:11,657 --> 00:07:12,990
I... I just get a little nervous
188
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:14,993
so I just wanted to
keep it under the radar.
189
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,126
That's why I'm here.
190
00:07:16,151 --> 00:07:19,197
I spoke last year and,
whoo... stressful.
191
00:07:19,222 --> 00:07:21,646
And I know how much you
hate public speaking, so...
192
00:07:21,671 --> 00:07:24,748
Yeah, but I've been practicing
so I think I'll be good.
193
00:07:24,773 --> 00:07:25,855
Of course.
194
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,114
No worry, it's just a couple
hundred people in the audience.
195
00:07:28,138 --> 00:07:29,302
- And, uh...
- Uh-huh.
196
00:07:29,327 --> 00:07:31,381
They film it and post
it on their website
197
00:07:31,406 --> 00:07:32,659
and it's up there forever.
198
00:07:32,712 --> 00:07:34,612
So, nobody looks at it.
[whispers] Yes, they do.
199
00:07:35,182 --> 00:07:37,182
I watched your
speech, Templeton.
200
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:39,909
- Several times, so funny.
- Big fan.
201
00:07:39,934 --> 00:07:42,388
What kind of truck
does a pig drive?
202
00:07:42,413 --> 00:07:43,520
A hambulance.
203
00:07:43,545 --> 00:07:44,694
Ah, that line killed.
204
00:07:44,718 --> 00:07:46,142
[laughs]
205
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,363
Anyway, uh, happy
to step in for you
206
00:07:48,388 --> 00:07:50,759
and I promise you the audience
will not be disappointed.
207
00:07:50,784 --> 00:07:52,042
Thank you so much.
208
00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:54,309
Uh, but shouldn't you be
on patrol or something?
209
00:07:54,334 --> 00:07:55,667
Heading out now.
210
00:07:55,745 --> 00:07:58,180
Oh! What's that?
211
00:07:58,907 --> 00:08:02,753
Looks like I have an email
that is stuck in my outbox.
212
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,692
- Boom!
- [phone alerts chiming]
213
00:08:05,717 --> 00:08:07,534
Fixed it. Enjoy.
214
00:08:08,395 --> 00:08:12,414
A gleefully vindictive message
from Officer Templeton Dutch.
215
00:08:12,439 --> 00:08:14,681
That jerk got a hold of
our body-cam footage.
216
00:08:14,706 --> 00:08:16,631
Oh, he did know
about the rabbits.
217
00:08:16,656 --> 00:08:17,656
[Frank] Ugh.
218
00:08:17,708 --> 00:08:18,810
[Delores] Look at
you guys running away
219
00:08:18,834 --> 00:08:20,501
from the li'l rabbits!
220
00:08:20,526 --> 00:08:21,747
We were regrouping!
221
00:08:21,772 --> 00:08:23,322
Are you... are you...
are you kidding me?!
222
00:08:23,346 --> 00:08:25,905
What... what are
these, green peppers?!
223
00:08:25,930 --> 00:08:27,816
Okay. I support healthy
choices, Delores,
224
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,524
but it is donut Wednesday.
225
00:08:29,565 --> 00:08:33,459
I am stressed and I need
sugar so you need to fix this.
226
00:08:34,635 --> 00:08:35,617
Revenge!
227
00:08:35,642 --> 00:08:37,322
[all in unison] Revenge!
228
00:08:38,279 --> 00:08:40,947
[Emily attempting
to breathe calmly]
229
00:08:40,972 --> 00:08:43,340
Hey. Hey.
230
00:08:43,365 --> 00:08:44,820
Try not to let Templeton
get in your head.
231
00:08:44,844 --> 00:08:48,642
Oh yeah, uh, too late. Uh,
he is... he is in there.
232
00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:50,011
Okay, listen.
233
00:08:50,036 --> 00:08:52,692
I used to get really nervous
before big competitions.
234
00:08:52,717 --> 00:08:53,736
Like, it got bad.
235
00:08:53,761 --> 00:08:56,228
So I remember my coach hooked me
up with this sports psychologist
236
00:08:56,252 --> 00:08:58,579
who gave me some cool
relaxation techniques.
237
00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:00,004
If you wanna try.
238
00:09:00,029 --> 00:09:01,177
Okay.
239
00:09:01,202 --> 00:09:02,307
- Yeah?
- Yeah, okay.
240
00:09:02,332 --> 00:09:04,263
'Cause my heart is
um... really pounding.
241
00:09:04,288 --> 00:09:06,471
Okay. Um, so, close your eyes.
242
00:09:06,496 --> 00:09:07,512
Yeah.
243
00:09:07,537 --> 00:09:11,172
Take a deep breath and imagine
yourself on a mountain.
244
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:12,885
Now, you're about
to start a race
245
00:09:12,910 --> 00:09:15,008
against this big-ass Swiss dude.
246
00:09:15,033 --> 00:09:17,079
Wait. No. Sorry.
247
00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:19,508
Visualize yourself
giving the speech.
248
00:09:19,533 --> 00:09:23,570
Confident, calm, looking super
fly in your business suit
249
00:09:23,595 --> 00:09:25,902
and the crowd is loving it.
250
00:09:25,927 --> 00:09:30,976
They're chanting your
name. Emily! Emily! Emily!
251
00:09:31,001 --> 00:09:33,578
Well, it's a
professional conference
252
00:09:33,603 --> 00:09:35,665
so there's not really a
whole lot of chanting.
253
00:09:35,690 --> 00:09:37,023
No chanting?
254
00:09:37,048 --> 00:09:38,527
- No.
- That's too bad.
255
00:09:39,373 --> 00:09:41,855
Okay. Then just
visualize yourself
256
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,831
absolutely crushing the speech.
257
00:09:43,856 --> 00:09:44,964
Okay.
258
00:09:46,583 --> 00:09:48,091
How's your heart rate?
259
00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:53,632
It is actually
better. [laughs]
260
00:09:53,657 --> 00:09:55,280
You're gonna medal for sure.
261
00:09:58,975 --> 00:10:01,384
Oh, um... remind me.
262
00:10:01,627 --> 00:10:05,200
In my outfit you
said I looked, um...
263
00:10:05,225 --> 00:10:06,351
Super fly.
264
00:10:06,376 --> 00:10:08,443
Super fly. Right, okay.
265
00:10:13,261 --> 00:10:15,111
♪
266
00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:18,731
[Shred] Okay. Only
one big question left.
267
00:10:18,756 --> 00:10:22,163
Who's going to step up and
be my emergency contact?
268
00:10:22,824 --> 00:10:24,640
Don't you have
family you can ask?
269
00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:27,335
My dad died and my
mom moved to Florida.
270
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,271
But she's got a sweet
condo on the beach
271
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:32,281
and she says any time I wanna
bring down my emergency contact
272
00:10:32,306 --> 00:10:34,700
for a little sand and sea,
she has a room waiting.
273
00:10:34,725 --> 00:10:36,911
Oh. Well, I hope you and
that guy without boundaries
274
00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:38,586
have fun with your mom.
275
00:10:38,611 --> 00:10:41,796
No! No, no, no,
no, no, no, no!
276
00:10:41,821 --> 00:10:45,219
Guys, who ate one of
my chocolate bars?
277
00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:47,209
There were three
and now there's two.
278
00:10:47,234 --> 00:10:49,131
And they were hidden
way at the back
279
00:10:49,156 --> 00:10:50,591
with my frickin' name on it.
280
00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:52,210
If your name's on it,
that's sacrosanct.
281
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,420
You can look that
word up, Shred.
282
00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:54,564
[whispers] Sacrosanct...
283
00:10:54,589 --> 00:10:56,565
Although I did eat
Patel's ice cream bar.
284
00:10:56,590 --> 00:11:00,006
What? I was saving that for
my end of the week treat!
285
00:11:00,031 --> 00:11:01,514
Oh, you were
intolerable yesterday.
286
00:11:01,539 --> 00:11:02,796
It demanded a response.
287
00:11:02,821 --> 00:11:05,502
Why? Because I said the Mariners
don't have a shot this year?
288
00:11:05,527 --> 00:11:07,541
Say it again and you can kiss
your tuna sandwich goodbye.
289
00:11:07,565 --> 00:11:08,634
The Mariners don't
have a shot this year.
290
00:11:08,658 --> 00:11:10,302
Oh, that tuna sandwich
is gonna taste...
291
00:11:10,327 --> 00:11:11,149
The Mariners don't have a shot.
292
00:11:11,174 --> 00:11:12,298
The Mariners don't
have a shot...
293
00:11:12,322 --> 00:11:13,611
Okay, I think we're done here.
294
00:11:13,636 --> 00:11:15,916
I need to know who
ate my chocolate bar.
295
00:11:15,941 --> 00:11:17,705
Shred, check the
waste baskets now.
296
00:11:17,730 --> 00:11:18,673
Thanks. Great.
297
00:11:18,698 --> 00:11:20,180
Uh, those chocolate
bars were laced
298
00:11:20,205 --> 00:11:21,621
with high-grade hallucinogenics.
299
00:11:21,646 --> 00:11:23,221
Have you seen double rainbow?
300
00:11:23,246 --> 00:11:25,540
Someone's about to be 10
times more like that guy
301
00:11:25,565 --> 00:11:26,415
than that guy was.
302
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,247
Hey. Did Emily make it back?
303
00:11:30,227 --> 00:11:31,483
Uh... I'm not sure.
304
00:11:31,508 --> 00:11:32,652
I was gonna give her a ride
305
00:11:32,677 --> 00:11:34,924
but she ran off after
her presentation.
306
00:11:34,949 --> 00:11:35,989
Um... can this wait?
307
00:11:36,014 --> 00:11:38,101
It's just, we're in the
middle of a bit of a crisis.
308
00:11:38,126 --> 00:11:40,965
It's just weird because
her speech went so well.
309
00:11:40,990 --> 00:11:43,889
She was funny, talking
off the cuff...
310
00:11:43,914 --> 00:11:45,488
she even sang at one point.
311
00:11:46,431 --> 00:11:48,023
Oh God.
312
00:11:48,048 --> 00:11:49,681
Emily ate the chocolate.
313
00:11:49,706 --> 00:11:50,755
All of it?
314
00:11:50,780 --> 00:11:52,288
It looks that way, yeah.
315
00:11:53,009 --> 00:11:54,009
Code red.
316
00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:55,919
My thin mints are missing,
gone without a trace.
317
00:11:55,943 --> 00:11:57,184
She's binging.
318
00:11:57,209 --> 00:11:59,236
Actually, I threw
the cookies out.
319
00:11:59,261 --> 00:12:00,443
You'll thank me later.
320
00:12:00,468 --> 00:12:03,451
Actually, I will not thank you.
I will not thank you, Delores!
321
00:12:03,476 --> 00:12:06,975
I want my own
refrigerator. 'Kay?
322
00:12:07,082 --> 00:12:09,753
Delores, I want my
own refrigerator!
323
00:12:13,096 --> 00:12:14,746
So, who's your
emergency contact?
324
00:12:14,771 --> 00:12:15,861
My father.
325
00:12:15,886 --> 00:12:17,925
Aww, I didn't know you
were close with your dad.
326
00:12:17,950 --> 00:12:19,447
We're not. I hate
that son of a bitch.
327
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:20,903
Then why did you choose him?
328
00:12:20,928 --> 00:12:23,073
Well, if something happens
to me, he's on the hook.
329
00:12:23,098 --> 00:12:24,098
With any luck,
330
00:12:24,123 --> 00:12:26,804
I'll be a vegetable
requiring 24-hour care.
331
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,475
That makes me sad, bro.
My dad was my best friend.
332
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:30,942
Yeah, of course he was.
333
00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:32,800
My only regret is I
never got to tell him
334
00:12:32,825 --> 00:12:34,083
how much he meant to me.
335
00:12:34,108 --> 00:12:35,896
I mean, he probably
knew because I told him
336
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:36,946
I loved him every day.
337
00:12:36,971 --> 00:12:38,132
Except when my phone died,
338
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:40,144
which happened a lot when
I was competing in Europe
339
00:12:40,168 --> 00:12:42,073
'cause I didn't have
the right plugs.
340
00:12:42,098 --> 00:12:44,690
Point is... don't
leave things unsaid.
341
00:12:44,715 --> 00:12:46,274
Call your dad.
342
00:12:48,053 --> 00:12:49,629
You know, they make those
three-in-one adapters.
343
00:12:49,653 --> 00:12:51,410
They have for years.
344
00:12:51,435 --> 00:12:52,435
Really?
345
00:12:54,101 --> 00:12:55,543
Now I have two regrets.
346
00:12:55,568 --> 00:12:58,681
[Dispatch] Truck 12. Pet
python escaped its enclosure.
347
00:12:58,706 --> 00:13:00,539
7276 South Kenwood.
348
00:13:00,564 --> 00:13:02,914
And get this. It's
JT Wallace's house.
349
00:13:02,939 --> 00:13:04,848
Holy crap. JT Wallace.
350
00:13:04,873 --> 00:13:06,039
Oh, who's that?
351
00:13:06,064 --> 00:13:07,396
Are you serious?
352
00:13:07,421 --> 00:13:09,530
The wide receiver
for the Seahawks?
353
00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:12,297
In what world could I have
been your emergency contact?
354
00:13:12,322 --> 00:13:13,322
Get out.
355
00:13:13,347 --> 00:13:14,772
[Shred] What, really?
We're doing this again?
356
00:13:14,796 --> 00:13:16,716
I'm not... I can't
even look at you.
357
00:13:22,045 --> 00:13:23,520
Don't look at me!
358
00:13:25,863 --> 00:13:27,898
[Victoria] How the hell
are we gonna find her?
359
00:13:27,943 --> 00:13:28,851
I don't know.
360
00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,662
It's just like looking
for someone's lost mutt.
361
00:13:30,686 --> 00:13:34,245
Oh, so we put out some beef
strips and stand behind a bush?
362
00:13:34,270 --> 00:13:35,604
I know you're kidding but
do you have beef strips?
363
00:13:35,628 --> 00:13:36,552
Everything I was gonna eat today
364
00:13:36,577 --> 00:13:37,935
got senselessly
ripped away from me.
365
00:13:37,959 --> 00:13:40,425
No. I don't eat gassy
foods on sex days.
366
00:13:40,450 --> 00:13:41,834
Ooh, how's it going with
the yogi by the way?
367
00:13:41,858 --> 00:13:42,819
Do you like him?
368
00:13:42,844 --> 00:13:43,979
As a person?
369
00:13:44,348 --> 00:13:46,108
He's done so much healing
370
00:13:46,133 --> 00:13:48,095
he's healed himself right
out of an actual personality.
371
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:50,991
But in bed, and I
say this as someone
372
00:13:51,016 --> 00:13:52,844
with a sufficiently
large sample pool,
373
00:13:52,869 --> 00:13:54,536
- Mmmhmm.
- Uh, he's detail-oriented.
374
00:13:54,561 --> 00:13:56,118
Hmm.
375
00:13:56,143 --> 00:13:57,788
I used to be detail-oriented.
376
00:13:57,813 --> 00:14:00,222
That was before I was
tired all the time.
377
00:14:00,247 --> 00:14:03,415
Maybe you should
try some of this.
378
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:04,607
- No.
- I'll give you a little.
379
00:14:04,631 --> 00:14:05,497
No. I can't eat that.
380
00:14:05,522 --> 00:14:06,764
Yes, you can. Give it a shot.
381
00:14:06,822 --> 00:14:08,488
It makes everything feel amazing
382
00:14:08,513 --> 00:14:09,749
and you're not really
doing anything different.
383
00:14:09,773 --> 00:14:11,123
It's almost like cheating.
384
00:14:11,676 --> 00:14:13,062
My life's not built for that.
385
00:14:13,087 --> 00:14:15,643
Every night I'm taking
a kid to the ER.
386
00:14:15,668 --> 00:14:17,651
Or talking another one
down from a nightmare.
387
00:14:17,676 --> 00:14:19,449
Last night it was
global warming.
388
00:14:19,474 --> 00:14:22,141
I can't discuss polar ice
caps all high and horny.
389
00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:24,222
Oh, my God. Is that Emily?
390
00:14:24,247 --> 00:14:26,155
[cheering]
391
00:14:26,512 --> 00:14:31,878
[chanting] Emily!
Emily! Emily! Emily!
392
00:14:37,898 --> 00:14:39,794
Even Seahawk colors.
393
00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:43,747
Sheesh. You almost beat me.
394
00:14:43,794 --> 00:14:45,736
Yeah. Asher knows
all the shortcuts.
395
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:48,486
Hey, good luck with
your girlfriend, buddy.
396
00:14:48,511 --> 00:14:50,120
I sincerely hope
everything works out.
397
00:14:50,145 --> 00:14:52,265
[Girlfriend] Thank God
you're here. Hurry!
398
00:14:54,591 --> 00:14:56,312
He was cleaning the cage.
399
00:14:56,337 --> 00:14:58,229
Holy crap.
400
00:14:58,254 --> 00:14:59,345
It's huge.
401
00:14:59,370 --> 00:15:01,023
Frank, have you ever dealt with
something like this before?
402
00:15:01,047 --> 00:15:02,682
No. And I can't
tell you how much,
403
00:15:02,707 --> 00:15:04,775
but something that's not
nothing just slipped out of me
404
00:15:04,799 --> 00:15:05,596
and into my underwear.
405
00:15:05,664 --> 00:15:07,255
It's getting tighter.
406
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,648
Just remain calm, we're
gonna unwind it from you.
407
00:15:09,673 --> 00:15:11,081
Shred, grab the head.
408
00:15:11,106 --> 00:15:13,531
I'm not grabbing the head,
man. It's scary and gross.
409
00:15:13,556 --> 00:15:15,443
The Seahawks have a very
shallow depth chart,
410
00:15:15,468 --> 00:15:16,224
now grab the head.
411
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,529
I'm not touching that thing.
412
00:15:17,554 --> 00:15:19,297
I was led to believe
this job was mostly dogs.
413
00:15:19,321 --> 00:15:20,336
Help him!
414
00:15:20,361 --> 00:15:22,770
This thing is super strong.
Grab something, Shred.
415
00:15:22,795 --> 00:15:24,598
Okay. But I'm closing my eyes.
416
00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:26,789
Is this a bad time to tell
you that I'm a big fan?
417
00:15:26,814 --> 00:15:27,477
[JT] Yes.
418
00:15:27,502 --> 00:15:29,554
Okay. Well, it would
just seem phony
419
00:15:29,579 --> 00:15:31,196
if I didn't say anything, right?
420
00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:32,996
Listen, man, you get
this thing off me,
421
00:15:33,021 --> 00:15:34,184
I'll sign anything you want.
422
00:15:34,209 --> 00:15:35,801
Really? How about a football?
423
00:15:35,872 --> 00:15:37,016
- Yes.
- How about a jersey?
424
00:15:37,060 --> 00:15:37,924
- Yes.
- A helmet?
425
00:15:37,949 --> 00:15:38,563
Yes.
426
00:15:38,588 --> 00:15:40,412
What about one of those
breast cancer awareness hats-
427
00:15:40,436 --> 00:15:42,005
- Anything!
- That are collectible.
428
00:15:42,030 --> 00:15:43,294
[gasps]
429
00:15:44,405 --> 00:15:46,907
Yeah. I thought I was gonna die.
430
00:15:48,132 --> 00:15:50,207
[groaning] Okay, yeah, yeah...
431
00:15:50,233 --> 00:15:53,401
Oh, my God. It's on me now.
432
00:15:53,706 --> 00:15:56,727
If I don't make
it... beat the Rams.
433
00:15:58,984 --> 00:16:00,155
[Victoria] Oh, my god.
434
00:16:00,180 --> 00:16:03,806
Emily! Hey! How's
it going, girl?
435
00:16:03,831 --> 00:16:05,642
Oh, man. You are
really good out there.
436
00:16:05,667 --> 00:16:06,817
What'd you play in high school?
437
00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,819
- Yeah.
- What are you guys doing here?
438
00:16:08,844 --> 00:16:10,010
Uh, we, we just, uh...
439
00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:12,115
we just came to take
you back to the office.
440
00:16:12,140 --> 00:16:13,140
To the office.
441
00:16:13,165 --> 00:16:17,186
Oh. No. I'm not going back.
442
00:16:17,459 --> 00:16:20,009
Yeah. I'm... I'm
never going back.
443
00:16:20,034 --> 00:16:21,117
Bye!
444
00:16:21,142 --> 00:16:23,204
Oh, I hate running.
445
00:16:23,229 --> 00:16:25,213
- Emily! Emily!
- Emily!!
446
00:16:25,238 --> 00:16:26,770
My god, she's out of control.
447
00:16:26,795 --> 00:16:28,351
[Patel] Hello! Emily!
Slow down! Stop guys!
448
00:16:28,375 --> 00:16:29,157
Guys, guys, stop her!
449
00:16:29,346 --> 00:16:31,179
Whoo! My whole body's buzzing.
450
00:16:31,309 --> 00:16:32,901
I've never felt more alive!
451
00:16:32,926 --> 00:16:34,835
Dude, that snake
had plans for you.
452
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:35,860
A brush with death
453
00:16:35,885 --> 00:16:38,219
and an encounter with
a world-class athlete.
454
00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:40,496
Okay. That's obviously
a little bit hurtful.
455
00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:43,658
I came in 7th at Pyeongchang
but I know it's a niche sport.
456
00:16:43,772 --> 00:16:46,790
Listen, don't get needy but you
were pretty good back there.
457
00:16:46,815 --> 00:16:47,572
Really?
458
00:16:47,597 --> 00:16:48,630
You're already being needy.
459
00:16:48,654 --> 00:16:51,111
I won't say another word.
Except that after this,
460
00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:53,566
I can't imagine being in
battle with anyone else.
461
00:16:53,591 --> 00:16:55,358
Snake brothers forever!
462
00:16:55,383 --> 00:16:57,722
Oh, 100 percent
did this to myself.
463
00:16:58,429 --> 00:16:59,857
- Again?
- Give me those forms.
464
00:16:59,882 --> 00:17:02,012
- What? What did I do?
- Give me those forms.
465
00:17:02,037 --> 00:17:04,388
- You'll be my emergency contact?
- Give them to me.
466
00:17:04,413 --> 00:17:07,914
Don't get hurt 'cause I'm
pulling the plug for anything.
467
00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:09,206
Ooooh!
468
00:17:11,087 --> 00:17:12,068
Alright!
469
00:17:12,093 --> 00:17:12,776
Whoo!
470
00:17:12,801 --> 00:17:13,801
Whoo!
471
00:17:13,826 --> 00:17:16,497
[Emily] I'm finally
coming out of my cocoon!
472
00:17:16,522 --> 00:17:17,802
[Victoria] You're high on drugs!
473
00:17:17,827 --> 00:17:20,160
No, I'm high on life!
474
00:17:20,210 --> 00:17:22,710
[Victoria] Life can't do that,
that's why we have drugs.
475
00:17:22,795 --> 00:17:23,995
- [Emily] Ah!
- [Victoria] Yes!
476
00:17:24,223 --> 00:17:25,739
[Victoria] No, No.
477
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:27,104
Oh, here we go.
478
00:17:29,422 --> 00:17:31,283
I mean, I went to Vienna once
479
00:17:31,308 --> 00:17:33,821
but I mostly just
stayed in the hotel.
480
00:17:33,846 --> 00:17:35,788
Like, what was I afraid of?
481
00:17:35,994 --> 00:17:38,970
Mmhmm. I can't
do this anymore.
482
00:17:38,995 --> 00:17:41,227
I am afraid of so many things.
483
00:17:41,252 --> 00:17:42,280
What does that mean?
484
00:17:42,305 --> 00:17:43,209
You can go.
485
00:17:43,234 --> 00:17:44,328
This is my fault anyway
486
00:17:44,353 --> 00:17:45,648
and I've done this,
like, a hundred times.
487
00:17:45,672 --> 00:17:49,289
Listen, if you need
anything, anything at all,
488
00:17:49,314 --> 00:17:50,739
just don't call me.
489
00:17:51,591 --> 00:17:52,531
Bye Emily.
490
00:17:52,556 --> 00:17:55,512
Oh, bye-whoa, you
have gorgeous teeth.
491
00:17:55,537 --> 00:17:59,524
[laughing] Thank you. Okay.
492
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:04,762
Wait. Did you know I can name
every country in South America?
493
00:18:04,787 --> 00:18:05,711
No, I didn't.
494
00:18:05,736 --> 00:18:08,495
- Okay. Um, I can.
- Okay.
495
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:09,628
- Venezuela.
- Yeah.
496
00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:11,056
- Ecuador.
- I deserve this.
497
00:18:11,081 --> 00:18:12,987
Colombia, Paraguay.
498
00:18:13,012 --> 00:18:14,328
[knocking]
499
00:18:18,381 --> 00:18:20,323
Oh, look what the
cat dragged in.
500
00:18:20,348 --> 00:18:22,590
It's nice to see you too, Dad.
501
00:18:22,615 --> 00:18:26,517
Look, um... I had a
near-death experience today
502
00:18:26,542 --> 00:18:31,211
and, I don't know, I don't wanna
die with things left unsaid.
503
00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:32,902
I'm listening.
504
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,478
Anyway, I just
wanted you to know
505
00:18:34,503 --> 00:18:35,986
that you're a terrible father
506
00:18:36,011 --> 00:18:39,730
who never had my back and
I want you to rot in hell.
507
00:18:43,518 --> 00:18:46,477
So that's it. Those
are the two items.
508
00:18:46,850 --> 00:18:48,847
Well look, uh...
you came this far,
509
00:18:48,872 --> 00:18:50,618
at least come in
and have a beer.
510
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:52,315
Did you just hear what I said?
511
00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:56,212
Yeah. Bad father and,
uh... the rotting thing.
512
00:18:56,237 --> 00:18:57,838
You want a beer or not?
513
00:18:58,541 --> 00:18:59,782
What kind you got?
514
00:18:59,807 --> 00:19:03,106
Rainier. I've been drinking
the same beer since I was 12.
515
00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:05,654
You too good for Rainier now?
516
00:19:05,679 --> 00:19:08,097
I've always been too
good for Rainier.
517
00:19:08,122 --> 00:19:09,729
What are you, like, 100 now?
518
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:13,302
French Guyana.
Regular Guyana. Chile.
519
00:19:13,327 --> 00:19:14,414
[knocking on door]
520
00:19:14,439 --> 00:19:15,245
Argentina.
521
00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:16,576
Hang on, I have to get that.
522
00:19:16,601 --> 00:19:17,612
Wait. No, please
don't leave me.
523
00:19:17,636 --> 00:19:18,745
No, you'll be fine.
You'll be fine.
524
00:19:18,769 --> 00:19:19,586
Eat your cereal.
525
00:19:19,611 --> 00:19:21,868
Sorry, I don't have any
milk. I know it's dry.
526
00:19:23,282 --> 00:19:23,863
Hi.
527
00:19:23,888 --> 00:19:25,028
I'm so happy to see you.
528
00:19:25,053 --> 00:19:26,386
Yeah, you too.
529
00:19:26,411 --> 00:19:27,890
As a tantric exercise
530
00:19:27,915 --> 00:19:29,516
I've abstained from
sex for three months.
531
00:19:29,541 --> 00:19:32,709
I intend to focus all that
stored-up energy on you.
532
00:19:32,734 --> 00:19:35,493
[Emily] Suriname!
I forgot Suriname.
533
00:19:35,518 --> 00:19:36,754
- Uh...
- Who's that?
534
00:19:36,779 --> 00:19:39,763
Is she going to participate
or... just watch?
535
00:19:39,788 --> 00:19:41,768
No. There was an
office fridge mix up
536
00:19:41,793 --> 00:19:43,614
and now she's in
another dimension.
537
00:19:43,639 --> 00:19:46,510
Uh... I'm gonna have to stay
here and take care of her.
538
00:19:46,535 --> 00:19:50,400
But when she comes
down I could text you.
539
00:19:50,425 --> 00:19:52,592
Three months is a
really long time
540
00:19:52,617 --> 00:19:55,510
and I have a few other
friends in Seattle.
541
00:19:55,535 --> 00:19:57,143
But I'll be back in August.
542
00:19:57,845 --> 00:19:58,993
Bye Victoria.
543
00:19:59,161 --> 00:20:00,803
'Kay. Bye. Cool.
544
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,377
- Can I tell you something?
- Yeah. Of course.
545
00:20:06,015 --> 00:20:07,164
I only got my job
546
00:20:07,189 --> 00:20:10,726
because of connections in
the mayor's office, so...
547
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:13,847
I don't deserve it, I'm a fraud.
548
00:20:13,872 --> 00:20:15,734
That's not true. That's
the drugs talking.
549
00:20:15,759 --> 00:20:17,684
Everyone thinks you're great.
550
00:20:17,815 --> 00:20:20,094
- Really?
- Yeah. You're great.
551
00:20:20,858 --> 00:20:21,949
You're my best friend.
552
00:20:21,974 --> 00:20:23,996
Oh, okay. That's...
that's really nice.
553
00:20:24,461 --> 00:20:25,461
[phone ringing]
554
00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:26,849
Hang on.
555
00:20:27,597 --> 00:20:28,412
Hello?
556
00:20:28,437 --> 00:20:29,548
Oh, you were right.
557
00:20:29,573 --> 00:20:31,990
These chocolates
are a game-changer.
558
00:20:32,015 --> 00:20:34,150
Maya called her mom,
she picked up the kids,
559
00:20:34,175 --> 00:20:35,869
we got the whole
night to ourselves.
560
00:20:36,159 --> 00:20:38,902
Wait. Are you seriously
calling me post sex?
561
00:20:38,968 --> 00:20:41,309
Yeah, post. Pre. Pre-pre.
562
00:20:41,334 --> 00:20:42,195
You never know.
563
00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:44,240
Oh, Victoria, you're
gonna need to hold me.
564
00:20:44,265 --> 00:20:46,731
I'm starting to panic
about climate change.
565
00:20:47,385 --> 00:20:50,587
Oh, my God. We ate
the fortune cookies.
566
00:20:50,612 --> 00:20:53,564
Oh, and they were
mighty delicious.
567
00:20:53,589 --> 00:20:55,693
Freaky Friday baby!
568
00:20:55,718 --> 00:20:58,062
-[Emily] ♪ Always
count on me -Oh boy.
569
00:20:58,087 --> 00:20:59,231
[Emily] Hello Mister Mayor.
570
00:20:59,256 --> 00:21:02,849
♪ Keep turning,
oh, keep smiling, ♪
571
00:21:02,924 --> 00:21:06,610
♪ knowing you can
always count on me. ♪
572
00:21:06,635 --> 00:21:08,262
♪ Everybody! For sure! ♪
573
00:21:08,287 --> 00:21:10,511
Oh, I'm going really,
really wide with this.
574
00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:12,519
♪ That's what friends are for.
575
00:21:12,544 --> 00:21:14,080
Adopt these dogs!41726
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