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1
00:00:05,438 --> 00:00:06,930
If you're gonna
make me pick you up,
2
00:00:06,955 --> 00:00:07,955
I expect coffee.
3
00:00:07,980 --> 00:00:10,439
There'll be one waiting
for you tomorrow.
4
00:00:10,527 --> 00:00:11,693
Any other requests?
5
00:00:11,718 --> 00:00:13,518
Yeah. Get your car fixed.
6
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,969
I'm gonna win you over,
bro. It's gonna happen.
7
00:00:16,994 --> 00:00:20,178
Calling me "bro" shows the
depth of your miscalculation.
8
00:00:20,203 --> 00:00:21,698
Truck 12.
9
00:00:21,723 --> 00:00:24,377
Report of a small animal in
the attic at 187 South Kenzie.
10
00:00:24,402 --> 00:00:26,121
Truck 12 responding.
11
00:00:29,584 --> 00:00:31,278
Four play dates, a
Spiderman birthday party,
12
00:00:31,302 --> 00:00:33,635
two trips to urgent care...
and my parents are in town.
13
00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:35,724
Let's just go ahead and say
that they have opinions.
14
00:00:35,749 --> 00:00:36,945
How was your weekend?
15
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,264
- Yeah, pretty good.
- Mmhmm.
16
00:00:38,289 --> 00:00:40,326
I went to a club. There
were definitely drugs.
17
00:00:40,351 --> 00:00:42,983
I woke up naked on some
boat near Whitby Island.
18
00:00:43,008 --> 00:00:44,421
What about the other
people on the boat?
19
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:45,600
Also naked, yeah.
20
00:00:45,625 --> 00:00:46,625
Right.
21
00:00:47,365 --> 00:00:48,698
Look, it's not personal.
22
00:00:48,723 --> 00:00:50,889
I'm just a lone
wolf type of guy.
23
00:00:50,914 --> 00:00:54,900
All last year I had no
partner and it was... heaven.
24
00:00:54,925 --> 00:00:57,834
And this is so much worse.
25
00:00:58,247 --> 00:00:59,646
So, I guess it is personal.
26
00:01:01,413 --> 00:01:02,519
- Hey.
- Mmhmm.
27
00:01:02,544 --> 00:01:04,862
I'm thinking of getting a puppy.
28
00:01:05,033 --> 00:01:06,424
Look at her, Little Mabel.
29
00:01:06,449 --> 00:01:07,407
Why would you do that?
30
00:01:07,432 --> 00:01:08,601
You have all the
freedom in the world.
31
00:01:08,625 --> 00:01:09,939
Yeah, but I envy you sometimes.
32
00:01:09,964 --> 00:01:10,911
I live alone.
33
00:01:10,936 --> 00:01:12,138
It might be nice to
have a dog around.
34
00:01:12,162 --> 00:01:13,881
Well, I have two. You
could just have one.
35
00:01:13,906 --> 00:01:15,192
One of them's incontinent
36
00:01:15,217 --> 00:01:17,361
for that extra feeling of
agonizing responsibility.
37
00:01:17,386 --> 00:01:19,346
If that's what
you're looking for.
38
00:01:19,996 --> 00:01:21,329
Maybe I'll just get a bird.
39
00:01:21,354 --> 00:01:23,662
Get a bird. Get a bird.
40
00:01:23,687 --> 00:01:25,548
Alright. You wait here.
41
00:01:25,612 --> 00:01:28,916
There's a good coffee
place up the block.
42
00:01:29,711 --> 00:01:30,876
Rookie always pays.
43
00:01:30,954 --> 00:01:35,523
Oh. Yeah. Hazing
recognized and accepted.
44
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:39,512
So I'll take a cara...
45
00:01:44,878 --> 00:01:45,878
What's up?
46
00:01:46,001 --> 00:01:47,023
Are you coming in?
47
00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:50,095
Oh yeah, for sure. It's just...
just gonna be one minute.
48
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:51,595
I think my partner
will be right back.
49
00:01:51,619 --> 00:01:52,496
I don't have a minute.
50
00:01:52,521 --> 00:01:54,348
It's my 10th anniversary and I
surprised my wife with brunch
51
00:01:54,372 --> 00:01:55,815
and whatever's up there
is killing the mood.
52
00:01:55,839 --> 00:01:57,230
Whew!
53
00:01:57,387 --> 00:01:59,495
Listen, man. It's
my first week.
54
00:01:59,609 --> 00:02:01,593
I should really wait for
backup. You know what I mean?
55
00:02:01,617 --> 00:02:04,185
Come on. My wife's
libido is very delicate.
56
00:02:04,765 --> 00:02:06,116
Help a guy out.
57
00:02:08,519 --> 00:02:11,336
Yeah, so my name's Fred
but everyone calls me Shred
58
00:02:11,361 --> 00:02:13,747
'cause I used to be a
professional snowboarder,
59
00:02:13,772 --> 00:02:16,808
mostly half-pipe, a couple
silvers at Nationals.
60
00:02:16,833 --> 00:02:18,085
And then I tore my ACL.
61
00:02:18,110 --> 00:02:19,379
How long is this gonna take?
62
00:02:19,404 --> 00:02:20,844
Not long at all.
63
00:02:21,505 --> 00:02:22,762
If I had to guess...
64
00:02:22,781 --> 00:02:25,173
it's probably just a
sweet little guy who...
65
00:02:28,747 --> 00:02:31,220
My eye! Your walkie
went into my eye!
66
00:02:31,245 --> 00:02:32,647
I'm sorry, it's just...
67
00:02:32,671 --> 00:02:36,556
-The teeth, it's like a
tiny... furry vampire.
68
00:02:36,581 --> 00:02:37,567
I underestimated...
69
00:02:42,206 --> 00:02:43,538
Under... under the ottoman.
70
00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:45,897
Okay. Everyone stay calm.
71
00:02:46,022 --> 00:02:47,112
I got this.
72
00:02:47,481 --> 00:02:50,729
It's okay weasel...
or whatever you are.
73
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,680
We're gonna take you to the
coolest park in the city
74
00:02:53,705 --> 00:02:56,615
and these people
are gonna celebrate.
75
00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:57,873
Dude! Dude!
76
00:02:59,323 --> 00:03:00,438
Bad choice.
77
00:03:01,488 --> 00:03:02,488
What do we do?
78
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:06,823
Oh, little buddy.
79
00:03:08,573 --> 00:03:09,810
I got this.
80
00:03:10,737 --> 00:03:11,644
- Oh!
- Oh!
81
00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:12,760
Oh, come on!
82
00:03:13,832 --> 00:03:16,499
Go, go! Right here!
83
00:03:18,837 --> 00:03:20,152
We're not catching a break here.
84
00:03:20,154 --> 00:03:23,164
Ohhhh! It's under
the stuffed couch!
85
00:03:23,189 --> 00:03:24,674
You gotta be kidding me.
86
00:03:24,835 --> 00:03:28,192
Okay. Don't worry. I
got this. I got it.
87
00:03:44,796 --> 00:03:46,020
On a scale of 1 to 10,
88
00:03:46,045 --> 00:03:48,195
how would you rate
our service today?
89
00:03:58,459 --> 00:04:02,826
Resync By M_I_S
www.opensubtitles.org
90
00:04:22,022 --> 00:04:23,689
I made muffins.
91
00:04:23,714 --> 00:04:25,120
Uh-oh. You want something.
92
00:04:25,145 --> 00:04:27,330
What? No. Do you
guys think I do that?
93
00:04:27,355 --> 00:04:28,971
Like I only bake when
I want something?
94
00:04:28,996 --> 00:04:31,234
Aw, these muffs are
fresh out of the oven.
95
00:04:31,259 --> 00:04:32,575
This is gonna be horrible.
96
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:33,933
No!
97
00:04:34,034 --> 00:04:36,516
Yeah, I feel bad but
I need volunteers
98
00:04:36,541 --> 00:04:38,541
to clean the kennels
this weekend.
99
00:04:38,566 --> 00:04:40,657
There are nine dogs at Giardia.
100
00:04:40,682 --> 00:04:42,042
Whoever does it's gonna
need one of those counselors
101
00:04:42,066 --> 00:04:43,210
they send to mass
shooting scenes.
102
00:04:43,234 --> 00:04:45,146
I nominate Frank given
the weasel debacle.
103
00:04:45,171 --> 00:04:46,566
He's the senior officer.
104
00:04:46,591 --> 00:04:49,426
Yeah. Frank, I just got an
earful from the superintendent.
105
00:04:49,502 --> 00:04:50,795
I was getting coffee.
106
00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:52,670
I'm guilty of negligence,
not incompetence.
107
00:04:52,672 --> 00:04:53,763
It's a lower crime.
108
00:04:53,765 --> 00:04:56,056
Came to gloat about
the weasel barbecue.
109
00:04:56,821 --> 00:04:58,124
You're here to
enjoy my misfortune,
110
00:04:58,148 --> 00:04:59,562
which is a taunt, not a gloat.
111
00:04:59,587 --> 00:05:01,604
Always an education
when you talk to Frank.
112
00:05:01,606 --> 00:05:04,015
You're a rube. Do you
know what that is?
113
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,374
Rumor is, couple
filed a complaint
114
00:05:06,399 --> 00:05:07,829
that'll require damage control.
115
00:05:07,854 --> 00:05:11,005
I'm offering my services,
Emily, 'cause I know you get
116
00:05:11,007 --> 00:05:14,525
a little nervous and sweaty
in high-stress situations.
117
00:05:14,527 --> 00:05:15,768
Uh, no, no.
118
00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:18,236
I have everything under
control, Templeton.
119
00:05:18,261 --> 00:05:21,413
Well, when you don't,
I'll come back to gloat.
120
00:05:21,438 --> 00:05:22,604
Did I get that right, Frank?
121
00:05:22,629 --> 00:05:23,869
No, that was a threat.
122
00:05:23,894 --> 00:05:26,537
Ah... whatever. Word nerd.
123
00:05:26,614 --> 00:05:27,522
Okay.
124
00:05:27,524 --> 00:05:29,023
I'm gonna go change into a shirt
125
00:05:29,025 --> 00:05:31,301
that's dark enough to hide
my nervous pit stains.
126
00:05:31,326 --> 00:05:33,827
And right away I'm gonna
go ahead and apologize
127
00:05:33,852 --> 00:05:35,760
for sharing that information.
128
00:05:36,942 --> 00:05:38,513
Muffins... are over here.
129
00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:41,033
Why's that guy so mean to Emily?
130
00:05:41,058 --> 00:05:43,865
He works at a rival precinct,
and he's gunning for her job.
131
00:05:43,890 --> 00:05:46,217
Yeah, she's not really suited
to a leadership position,
132
00:05:46,242 --> 00:05:47,816
but we have to make sure
she doesn't get fired
133
00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:48,960
'cause she's really nice.
134
00:05:48,987 --> 00:05:50,873
And she's easy to manipulate
which is why we're
135
00:05:50,897 --> 00:05:54,139
the only precinct with a
top-of-the-line Panini Press.
136
00:05:55,576 --> 00:05:57,260
Mmm. Spectacular.
137
00:05:57,285 --> 00:05:59,452
We got written up
in Bon Appetit.
138
00:05:59,477 --> 00:06:01,405
Okay, here's a novel idea.
139
00:06:01,430 --> 00:06:03,689
Try standing closer to the
toilet and actually aiming
140
00:06:03,743 --> 00:06:06,077
so the pee goes in the
bowl and not on the floor.
141
00:06:06,079 --> 00:06:07,504
That's a terrible
idea for a novel.
142
00:06:08,531 --> 00:06:10,623
I will be instituting
a key system.
143
00:06:10,684 --> 00:06:12,426
So if you have to
pee, you come see Dee,
144
00:06:12,451 --> 00:06:14,204
there'll be a sign-in
sheet on my desk.
145
00:06:14,292 --> 00:06:15,624
Not gonna do that.
146
00:06:15,649 --> 00:06:17,541
Frank! Frank!
147
00:06:17,574 --> 00:06:18,574
Frank!
148
00:06:18,599 --> 00:06:20,596
Listen, I'll talk to
Emily and take the heat
149
00:06:20,621 --> 00:06:21,661
for the weasel thing.
150
00:06:21,686 --> 00:06:23,578
Okay? I'll clean the
kennels, it's only right.
151
00:06:23,580 --> 00:06:24,740
That would be stupid of you.
152
00:06:24,764 --> 00:06:26,315
It's what partners do, right?
153
00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:29,008
Look, I'm gonna be up front.
My plan is to get rid of you.
154
00:06:29,033 --> 00:06:30,533
And with the way
bureaucracy works,
155
00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,385
it'll take about six
months to fill your seat.
156
00:06:32,410 --> 00:06:35,319
So that's gonna be
all lone wolfy time.
157
00:06:38,379 --> 00:06:39,927
Hey, we talked
about the howling!
158
00:06:39,929 --> 00:06:42,815
Sorry Emily. How's that
espresso machine coming?
159
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,166
Oh, yeah. I ordered it.
160
00:06:44,191 --> 00:06:45,616
Oh, you are the best!
161
00:06:45,641 --> 00:06:47,211
It's
coming from Milan.
162
00:06:47,287 --> 00:06:48,560
You don't fool me, Frank.
163
00:06:48,585 --> 00:06:51,811
Underneath that crusty exterior
is a soft, chewy center.
164
00:06:51,836 --> 00:06:53,002
Mmm... no.
165
00:06:53,027 --> 00:06:55,027
Yeah. He's not that
kinda cookie, kid.
166
00:06:55,063 --> 00:06:56,063
What do you mean?
167
00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:58,940
Look, and you didn't
hear this from us,
168
00:06:58,965 --> 00:07:02,617
Frank used to be a cop but then
he uncovered some corruption,
169
00:07:02,619 --> 00:07:05,061
and instead of cleaning
it up, they fired him.
170
00:07:05,138 --> 00:07:07,096
Whoa. That's heavy.
171
00:07:08,319 --> 00:07:09,899
Greenview Meadow Preschool.
172
00:07:09,976 --> 00:07:11,183
Oh, God in heaven, no.
173
00:07:11,185 --> 00:07:13,030
There's no way this
isn't something awful.
174
00:07:13,054 --> 00:07:15,445
Hello? Yeah.
175
00:07:15,599 --> 00:07:17,276
Danny won't poop
in school again.
176
00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:19,058
He's like me, he gets
nervous at away games.
177
00:07:19,060 --> 00:07:20,076
Aww, poor sausage.
178
00:07:20,101 --> 00:07:21,584
Yeah, go ahead and put him on.
179
00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:24,200
Hey buddy, it's okay, listen.
180
00:07:24,307 --> 00:07:26,036
Just like we do at home, okay?
181
00:07:26,751 --> 00:07:28,826
♪ I know what to do...
182
00:07:28,903 --> 00:07:31,070
♪ when I'm about to poo...
183
00:07:31,147 --> 00:07:33,072
♪ I go to the potty,
184
00:07:35,485 --> 00:07:38,002
♪
And I sit and wait...
185
00:07:38,004 --> 00:07:40,504
♪ I sit and wait...
186
00:07:40,529 --> 00:07:44,382
♪ I sit and wait until
the poop falls down. ♪
187
00:07:44,407 --> 00:07:48,985
♪ Then I wipe and wipe,
'till brown leaves town, ♪
188
00:07:49,085 --> 00:07:52,937
♪ I put it in the potty
and I flush it down. ♪
189
00:07:52,962 --> 00:07:53,776
Whooo!
190
00:07:53,778 --> 00:07:54,778
Banger!
191
00:07:54,803 --> 00:07:56,815
Wow, sounds like
you had quite a bit.
192
00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:58,840
I'm proud of you,
my little soldier.
193
00:07:58,842 --> 00:08:00,024
Way to go, Danny!
194
00:08:00,101 --> 00:08:02,193
Okay. Alright. Bye.
195
00:08:02,269 --> 00:08:03,361
Hi.
196
00:08:03,386 --> 00:08:05,004
I could use some help getting
a mastiff on the table.
197
00:08:05,028 --> 00:08:06,008
- No problem.
- Yes! I'll... I'll help.
198
00:08:06,032 --> 00:08:07,032
Absolutely.
199
00:08:07,274 --> 00:08:09,433
Hey... you're Shred, right?
200
00:08:10,036 --> 00:08:12,945
Hey. Oh yeah, hi.
Nice to meet you.
201
00:08:12,947 --> 00:08:14,822
Are you the, um... hot vet?
202
00:08:14,875 --> 00:08:16,449
No, we say that behind her back.
203
00:08:16,474 --> 00:08:17,156
Yeah.
204
00:08:17,181 --> 00:08:20,104
Oh God, I'm so sorry if
that came off disrespectful.
205
00:08:20,129 --> 00:08:23,298
I'll retract it and say
you're in no way hot.
206
00:08:24,180 --> 00:08:25,526
Doctor Summers.
207
00:08:25,551 --> 00:08:28,794
I don't wanna embarrass you but
I'm a huge winter sports fan
208
00:08:28,819 --> 00:08:31,502
and I saw you at the
X Games in Whistler.
209
00:08:31,571 --> 00:08:33,016
- 2019.
- Yeah.
210
00:08:33,041 --> 00:08:33,906
Against The Goose.
211
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:35,259
- Oh, so good!
- She's a fan.
212
00:08:35,286 --> 00:08:37,835
You did that backside
right in front of me. She's a fan.
213
00:08:37,859 --> 00:08:39,972
They've been replaying
it on ESPN Classics.
214
00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:42,607
Every time I watch it, I think
I'm not gonna stick the landing
215
00:08:42,632 --> 00:08:43,632
and then I do...
216
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:45,846
and it kinda blows my
mind all over again.
217
00:08:45,871 --> 00:08:48,055
So good. Anyway, sorry. You
needed help with something?
218
00:08:48,057 --> 00:08:49,891
Uh, yeah that'd
be great. Come on.
219
00:08:49,893 --> 00:08:51,000
Yeah. Sure. Yeah.
220
00:08:51,077 --> 00:08:54,768
No. No. He does not get
to just sashay in here
221
00:08:54,793 --> 00:08:55,879
and have sex with someone
222
00:08:55,904 --> 00:08:57,870
we've all been trying
to nail for years.
223
00:08:57,895 --> 00:09:00,471
Yeah, he has to get in line
and wait like everybody else.
224
00:09:00,496 --> 00:09:01,979
Low rent Shawn White.
225
00:09:02,503 --> 00:09:04,003
Yo. Delores...
226
00:09:04,213 --> 00:09:05,533
I need the key.
227
00:09:05,833 --> 00:09:06,891
Name and time.
228
00:09:16,177 --> 00:09:17,735
Connie Lingus?
229
00:09:18,187 --> 00:09:19,604
Real mature!
230
00:09:24,321 --> 00:09:25,622
You know
what Mark Twain said?
231
00:09:25,646 --> 00:09:28,687
I'm not 100 percent
on who Mark Twain is.
232
00:09:28,689 --> 00:09:30,431
That's a whole other
conversation now.
233
00:09:30,433 --> 00:09:32,524
He said if you pick
up a starving dog
234
00:09:32,602 --> 00:09:34,763
and make him prosperous,
he will not bite you.
235
00:09:34,787 --> 00:09:38,530
This is the principal difference
between a dog and a man.
236
00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:40,009
Is this about the hot vet?
237
00:09:40,034 --> 00:09:41,712
Yeah, of course it's
about the hot vet.
238
00:09:41,736 --> 00:09:43,197
I've been laying the
groundwork for years.
239
00:09:43,221 --> 00:09:46,130
Do you know how many vaccination
clinics I've volunteered for?
240
00:09:46,207 --> 00:09:47,683
A lot of vaccination clinics.
241
00:09:47,708 --> 00:09:50,209
I've eradicated entire diseases
in pursuit of that woman.
242
00:09:50,286 --> 00:09:51,786
But dude, I'm not,
like, a threat.
243
00:09:51,804 --> 00:09:53,045
I have a girlfriend.
244
00:09:53,047 --> 00:09:55,357
She's a snowboarder,
she's from Spain
245
00:09:55,382 --> 00:09:58,976
and if you'd asked me even
one question you'd know that.
246
00:09:59,053 --> 00:10:00,628
I'm not gonna lie,
that's a bit of a relief.
247
00:10:00,630 --> 00:10:03,441
Yeah, and if I was gonna dip
my toe into the work pool,
248
00:10:03,466 --> 00:10:04,750
it wouldn't be the hot vet.
249
00:10:04,801 --> 00:10:06,968
Well, not Victoria.
I got dibs there too.
250
00:10:06,970 --> 00:10:09,804
No. Emily. The boss lady.
251
00:10:09,911 --> 00:10:12,520
She's just so clumsy and
uncomfortable in her own body.
252
00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:15,136
I guess I just dig
an awkward chick.
253
00:10:15,161 --> 00:10:16,983
This is a texture I
didn't know you had.
254
00:10:17,008 --> 00:10:19,840
You see, this partnership...
it's blossoming.
255
00:10:19,865 --> 00:10:23,501
Oh, and I Googled wolves.
They run in packs.
256
00:10:23,577 --> 00:10:24,794
Well, except the lone ones.
257
00:10:24,819 --> 00:10:26,039
Otherwise they would
just be wolves.
258
00:10:26,063 --> 00:10:27,223
And you had to Google that?
259
00:10:27,248 --> 00:10:29,414
There's no shame in
admitting gaps in knowledge.
260
00:10:29,492 --> 00:10:31,228
Unrelated but also
interesting...
261
00:10:31,252 --> 00:10:33,969
did you know snails can
have sex with themselves?
262
00:10:33,994 --> 00:10:36,105
Truck 12,
neighbor complaint.
263
00:10:36,107 --> 00:10:38,941
Unlicensed ostrich
farm. 360 North Harding.
264
00:10:39,018 --> 00:10:40,276
Truck 12 responding.
265
00:10:40,353 --> 00:10:43,020
Ostriches. I love this job.
266
00:10:53,094 --> 00:10:55,594
Hi, I'm Emily Price
from animal con-
267
00:10:55,619 --> 00:10:58,895
Wow, that is worse
than I thought.
268
00:11:00,595 --> 00:11:01,910
I brought muffins.
269
00:11:06,210 --> 00:11:07,267
Hey.
270
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:09,426
Officers on the scene
with loaded snausages.
271
00:11:11,142 --> 00:11:14,456
Never gets old, Tom.
What have we got here?
272
00:11:14,481 --> 00:11:15,836
Waiting for the coroner.
273
00:11:15,872 --> 00:11:18,205
The guy's been dead three
days and no one knew it.
274
00:11:18,207 --> 00:11:19,975
His dog never left his side.
275
00:11:20,634 --> 00:11:22,193
We'll find him a good home.
276
00:11:24,972 --> 00:11:27,565
Three days. Can you imagine?
277
00:11:27,641 --> 00:11:30,067
Three days without anybody
knowing where I was.
278
00:11:32,889 --> 00:11:34,572
I'd kill for that.
279
00:11:35,241 --> 00:11:38,827
Hey. Hey, it's gonna be okay.
280
00:11:40,521 --> 00:11:43,246
Charlie. He's so cute!
281
00:11:48,404 --> 00:11:52,068
Whoa. Those are
some tall birds.
282
00:11:52,093 --> 00:11:54,071
Yeah, and their eyes are
bigger than their brains,
283
00:11:54,096 --> 00:11:55,498
so you should feel
right at home.
284
00:11:55,523 --> 00:11:56,981
Your ribbing feels affectionate.
285
00:11:57,006 --> 00:11:59,292
And I know you're going for
more emotional distance.
286
00:11:59,317 --> 00:12:01,773
Hey, your shirt's sticking
out. Let me fix it.
287
00:12:02,176 --> 00:12:04,360
There you go, now
you look respectable.
288
00:12:04,437 --> 00:12:07,106
Look at you taking
care of your partner.
289
00:12:07,131 --> 00:12:09,223
Bonding alert.
Calling all units.
290
00:12:09,248 --> 00:12:10,288
Alright, calm down.
291
00:12:10,351 --> 00:12:12,646
Ma'am, hi. City of
Seattle Animal Control.
292
00:12:12,671 --> 00:12:14,154
Is it alright if we enter?
293
00:12:14,179 --> 00:12:15,769
Make sure to close the gate.
294
00:12:16,190 --> 00:12:18,124
Did my stupid neighbor call you?
295
00:12:19,688 --> 00:12:20,728
What's going on here?
296
00:12:20,753 --> 00:12:23,104
You making belts or
selling their meat?
297
00:12:23,106 --> 00:12:24,766
I sell the eggs at
the Farmer's Market.
298
00:12:24,791 --> 00:12:26,031
Well, you're gonna
need a license
299
00:12:26,050 --> 00:12:27,366
from the Zoning Commission.
300
00:12:27,443 --> 00:12:30,202
Uh... these guys like me.
301
00:12:30,279 --> 00:12:31,679
Everyone likes you, Shred.
302
00:12:33,355 --> 00:12:34,731
Should I be concerned?
303
00:12:34,756 --> 00:12:36,307
Well, that's really up to you.
304
00:12:36,332 --> 00:12:40,379
They are violent and strong and
have famously bad temperaments.
305
00:12:40,456 --> 00:12:42,902
Oh, and as you can see
they're really fast.
306
00:12:42,927 --> 00:12:45,145
So I would kick it up
a gear if I were you.
307
00:12:45,170 --> 00:12:48,042
In the meantime, I'll just
be writing this citation.
308
00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:51,073
It's bad,
Frank! They won't stop.
309
00:12:51,150 --> 00:12:53,908
It's starting to feel
extremely targeted!
310
00:12:53,933 --> 00:12:57,352
Yeah. Well, they either see you as
a food source or a potential mate.
311
00:12:57,377 --> 00:13:00,163
Either way, I would just
let nature take its course.
312
00:13:00,188 --> 00:13:01,282
They're relentless!
313
00:13:01,307 --> 00:13:03,454
But don't worry, I'm
getting all of it.
314
00:13:05,688 --> 00:13:07,205
Look at 'em move.
315
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,150
These muffins are delicious.
You have to give me the recipe.
316
00:13:11,175 --> 00:13:12,175
Oh, I will.
317
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,495
And you know what?
They're healthy too.
318
00:13:13,519 --> 00:13:15,497
Everyone in my office
has some kind of allergy
319
00:13:15,522 --> 00:13:17,798
so I can never
bake anything fun.
320
00:13:20,104 --> 00:13:21,586
Look, we agree.
321
00:13:21,611 --> 00:13:23,371
We don't wanna turn this
into a big legal thing.
322
00:13:23,395 --> 00:13:24,584
Great. Great.
323
00:13:24,609 --> 00:13:25,735
And... and you have my word,
324
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:28,036
the City will pay
for everything.
325
00:13:28,061 --> 00:13:28,921
Okay.
326
00:13:28,946 --> 00:13:31,940
If you'll just excuse me, I'm
just gonna let somebody know.
327
00:13:34,453 --> 00:13:36,321
Emily
said they're not going to sue
328
00:13:36,345 --> 00:13:40,462
and sent a pile of poop emoji...
and a middle finger emoji.
329
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:41,776
Whatever.
330
00:13:41,801 --> 00:13:45,536
Alright... I won't take
up anymore of your time.
331
00:13:45,561 --> 00:13:46,912
Thank you both.
332
00:13:47,768 --> 00:13:50,954
You didn't use sesame
oil in these, did you?
333
00:13:50,979 --> 00:13:52,646
You know what, I did.
334
00:13:52,671 --> 00:13:55,300
I find it just gives
it, like, a little tang.
335
00:13:56,107 --> 00:13:57,008
Oh God.
336
00:13:57,130 --> 00:13:58,474
I'll get the EpiPen.
Thank you.
337
00:13:58,517 --> 00:14:00,604
Wait, wait...
what's happening?
338
00:14:00,629 --> 00:14:01,771
Call 911.
339
00:14:01,795 --> 00:14:02,870
Right now?
340
00:14:02,872 --> 00:14:05,042
No! Oh, no!
341
00:14:05,067 --> 00:14:06,107
Knock it off.
342
00:14:06,165 --> 00:14:08,728
This is not fun for
me. This is not fun.
343
00:14:08,753 --> 00:14:09,896
I've never
seen them like this.
344
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:10,897
Little help here, Frank.
345
00:14:10,922 --> 00:14:13,869
Man, they must, uh... smell
something on your clothes.
346
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:15,469
What kinda detergent do you use?
347
00:14:15,494 --> 00:14:18,283
Tide liquid pods.
They get out anything.
348
00:14:18,308 --> 00:14:19,474
Maybe lose the shirt?
349
00:14:19,499 --> 00:14:20,932
Oh, oh yeah.
350
00:14:22,575 --> 00:14:25,226
That is pretty
disrespectful to the uniform.
351
00:14:25,228 --> 00:14:27,411
But you gotta do
what you gotta do.
352
00:14:28,064 --> 00:14:31,065
Hmm. It's gotta be the pants.
353
00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:33,067
- The pants.
- Yeah.
354
00:14:35,254 --> 00:14:38,479
This is the weirdest
strip show I've ever seen.
355
00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:40,398
And I've seen a number of them.
356
00:14:46,098 --> 00:14:48,673
Is that your beef stick?
357
00:14:48,675 --> 00:14:52,325
In my defense, uh, I didn't
think it would work that well.
358
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:54,730
Uncool, bro. Really Uncool!
359
00:14:54,755 --> 00:14:56,383
And I'm sorry to raise
my voice right now
360
00:14:56,408 --> 00:14:58,219
but I'm pretty high
up in this tree
361
00:14:58,244 --> 00:14:59,745
and you crossed a line, brother!
362
00:14:59,770 --> 00:15:01,749
They could've taken
my penis, Frank!
363
00:15:01,774 --> 00:15:04,707
Yeah, but they didn't and
that's what makes it funny.
364
00:15:05,336 --> 00:15:07,986
Dude, I know that the police
department screwed you over
365
00:15:08,011 --> 00:15:10,392
and people let you down but
to learn nothing from that
366
00:15:10,417 --> 00:15:13,841
except to be a jerk, that
just makes you a douche, dude.
367
00:15:13,866 --> 00:15:15,468
You're missing all the nuance.
368
00:15:15,493 --> 00:15:18,207
I'm a douche for a lot
of complicated reasons.
369
00:15:18,232 --> 00:15:21,364
Dude, I blew out my knee three
months before the Olympics.
370
00:15:21,389 --> 00:15:23,408
But I didn't let it
make me hate the world.
371
00:15:23,433 --> 00:15:26,554
We all have a choice in life
and I chose to stay positive.
372
00:15:26,579 --> 00:15:28,576
Well, that just makes me
question your judgment.
373
00:15:28,653 --> 00:15:30,076
Well you'll be proud to know
374
00:15:30,101 --> 00:15:32,592
I'm feeling pretty
negative right now, Frank!
375
00:15:33,676 --> 00:15:36,251
You have a ticket for
600 bucks, by the way.
376
00:15:36,276 --> 00:15:38,462
- Can I pay you in eggs?
- No.
377
00:15:40,085 --> 00:15:41,165
Yeah, come in.
378
00:15:42,926 --> 00:15:44,851
I'd like to request a transfer.
379
00:15:44,876 --> 00:15:47,068
My senior officer,
by word and action,
380
00:15:47,093 --> 00:15:49,329
has made it clear that he
doesn't want me around.
381
00:15:49,354 --> 00:15:51,597
Despite the rumors, I'm
not a people person.
382
00:15:51,622 --> 00:15:53,734
Really? Are you sure?
383
00:15:53,759 --> 00:15:55,684
I'd have to move you to central
384
00:15:55,709 --> 00:15:58,519
and Templeton has
the only free truck.
385
00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:00,974
Yes.
386
00:16:00,999 --> 00:16:02,239
You heard the man.
387
00:16:03,856 --> 00:16:07,099
Templeton. You'd really
do that to Shred?
388
00:16:07,124 --> 00:16:08,124
He'll be fine.
389
00:16:08,149 --> 00:16:10,449
He'll be happy in
literally any situation.
390
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:13,351
Which is the very trait that
makes him challenging for me.
391
00:16:13,376 --> 00:16:15,786
Well, what if you viewed
it as a growth opportunity?
392
00:16:15,811 --> 00:16:16,971
I'm not looking for growth.
393
00:16:17,103 --> 00:16:18,823
If growth wants me bad enough,
it knows where to find me.
394
00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:21,181
Yeah. Alone in your apartment.
395
00:16:21,206 --> 00:16:22,780
Where I am so content.
396
00:16:22,805 --> 00:16:26,315
Now... can I interest you
in a chicken pesto panini?
397
00:16:27,282 --> 00:16:28,632
I wanna say no, but yeah.
398
00:16:28,657 --> 00:16:29,882
Your heart is black
399
00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:32,375
but you know how to make
a really good sandwich.
400
00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:34,558
You guys making sandwiches?
401
00:16:35,404 --> 00:16:36,404
Oh!
402
00:16:45,206 --> 00:16:46,780
Hello? Who's there?
403
00:16:46,805 --> 00:16:50,014
It's Shred. I forgot
my coat, so...
404
00:16:50,039 --> 00:16:51,452
- Hey.
- Hey.
405
00:16:51,477 --> 00:16:53,862
Oh, I'm sorry how
everything worked out.
406
00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:54,891
I love Frank
407
00:16:54,916 --> 00:16:57,914
but sometimes he can just
be too much like... Frank.
408
00:16:57,939 --> 00:16:58,614
Yeah.
409
00:16:58,639 --> 00:17:00,999
I really thought I was gonna
be able to crack him, you know?
410
00:17:01,266 --> 00:17:02,598
What are you still doing here?
411
00:17:02,745 --> 00:17:04,632
Oh, we have a pet
adoption coming up
412
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:06,523
so I was just gonna
get these flyers out.
413
00:17:06,548 --> 00:17:07,548
Cool.
414
00:17:07,961 --> 00:17:10,387
You know, the thing
about snowboarding is
415
00:17:10,412 --> 00:17:11,820
it's a solo sport.
416
00:17:11,845 --> 00:17:12,547
Mmhmm.
417
00:17:12,572 --> 00:17:13,882
Like, when you're
on the mountain
418
00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:15,130
it's just you all alone.
419
00:17:15,155 --> 00:17:17,321
When I got injured nobody
found me for two hours.
420
00:17:17,346 --> 00:17:20,141
What, so the Saint
Bernard thing is a myth?
421
00:17:20,166 --> 00:17:21,411
I'm the wrong guy to ask.
422
00:17:21,436 --> 00:17:23,103
I still sorta believe
in Santa Claus.
423
00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:25,119
What?
424
00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:26,068
Oh.
425
00:17:26,093 --> 00:17:28,782
Do you need a hand?
Um... yeah.
426
00:17:28,807 --> 00:17:32,319
Sorry. Thanks. I can
just be a little clumsy.
427
00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:33,384
I know.
428
00:17:33,634 --> 00:17:34,674
You know, honestly...
429
00:17:34,699 --> 00:17:36,843
I don't know that I'm
cut out for this job.
430
00:17:36,868 --> 00:17:40,795
I mean, I sent that poor
guy to the hospital today.
431
00:17:40,820 --> 00:17:43,236
Yeah, but I almost
burned down his house
432
00:17:43,261 --> 00:17:45,496
and sent him to
the hospital, so...
433
00:17:45,521 --> 00:17:48,205
That's true.
434
00:17:48,258 --> 00:17:50,772
Oh, I'm gonna miss seeing you
around the precinct everyday.
435
00:17:50,797 --> 00:17:52,238
Yeah, me too.
436
00:17:53,432 --> 00:17:55,974
Um... but you know now that,
437
00:17:55,999 --> 00:17:58,105
I mean, I'm not
gonna be your boss...
438
00:17:59,108 --> 00:17:59,940
Like, we wouldn't...
439
00:17:59,965 --> 00:18:02,268
Sorry. Sorry. It's
my girlfriend.
440
00:18:02,293 --> 00:18:03,383
Oh, my God. Ah...
441
00:18:03,408 --> 00:18:06,037
- I should get this.
- Yeah, yes.
442
00:18:06,399 --> 00:18:08,640
Hey babe. I heard
you got powder.
443
00:18:12,870 --> 00:18:15,947
What do you think, Charlie?
You like your new home?
444
00:18:15,972 --> 00:18:16,879
Yeah?
445
00:18:19,745 --> 00:18:21,053
Hang on.
446
00:18:32,495 --> 00:18:38,144
♪ And I wipe and I wipe
'till the brown leaves town ♪
447
00:18:38,169 --> 00:18:43,339
♪ Put it in the potty
and flush it down. ♪
448
00:18:43,364 --> 00:18:47,639
♪ Bye bye poo.
449
00:18:48,208 --> 00:18:51,684
♪ Bye bye poo.
450
00:18:51,709 --> 00:18:54,180
Shred Taylor needs
an 88 to get to on the podium.
451
00:18:54,204 --> 00:18:55,445
No way.
452
00:18:55,470 --> 00:18:58,327
Here is another
look at his backside rodeo 540.
453
00:18:58,352 --> 00:19:02,191
Will it be enough to medal?
And here comes the score...
454
00:19:02,216 --> 00:19:06,886
Oh! 87.3. Ugh, man,
that is heartbreaking.
455
00:19:06,911 --> 00:19:08,670
Shred Taylor finishes fourth.
456
00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:13,346
Look at this kid. You'd
never know he lost.
457
00:19:13,371 --> 00:19:14,371
Gotta love him.
458
00:19:22,569 --> 00:19:25,834
I'm not ready for a dog. I
need you to take Charlie.
459
00:19:26,884 --> 00:19:29,411
No, no. I have my own
two dogs. I'm fine.
460
00:19:29,450 --> 00:19:30,869
Oh my God, he's so cute!
461
00:19:30,894 --> 00:19:34,083
Oh, do you want him?
You guys love him.
462
00:19:34,108 --> 00:19:35,203
You can have him.
463
00:19:35,228 --> 00:19:36,880
No, we're not taking the
dog. We don't need the dog.
464
00:19:36,904 --> 00:19:39,423
Also... I can't
take care of this.
465
00:19:39,448 --> 00:19:42,142
I don't need this. I
already have lots of plants.
466
00:19:42,167 --> 00:19:43,219
I don't need more plants.
467
00:19:43,244 --> 00:19:44,872
No, don't go. No,
stop that dance.
468
00:19:44,897 --> 00:19:45,956
Come back.
469
00:19:47,489 --> 00:19:48,972
You're so cute.
470
00:19:54,750 --> 00:19:57,159
Some dopey looking
guy call for an Uber?
471
00:19:57,445 --> 00:19:59,586
I knew you'd show
up... partner.
472
00:19:59,611 --> 00:20:00,777
No, you didn't.
473
00:20:00,802 --> 00:20:02,689
And I'm getting rid of you as
soon as a decent rig opens up.
474
00:20:02,713 --> 00:20:03,749
I hope you know that.
475
00:20:03,774 --> 00:20:05,033
If I didn't know
you were coming,
476
00:20:05,057 --> 00:20:08,264
how come I got us coffee?
477
00:20:08,289 --> 00:20:10,284
'Cause you were gonna
brownnose Templeton.
478
00:20:10,313 --> 00:20:12,541
Whatever you need to
tell yourself, Frank.
479
00:20:12,566 --> 00:20:14,469
But I always knew you
were a pack animal.
480
00:20:14,494 --> 00:20:16,854
Yesterday you didn't even
know what a pack animal was.
481
00:20:16,879 --> 00:20:19,962
Oh! I also didn't know
that a newborn kangaroo
482
00:20:19,987 --> 00:20:23,496
is the size of a lima bean.
- Okay.
483
00:20:25,737 --> 00:20:26,737
Templeton.
484
00:20:26,762 --> 00:20:28,529
You didn't tell him
you were picking me up?
485
00:20:28,559 --> 00:20:31,100
Nah. It was a
game-time decision.
486
00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:35,192
How would you feel
about mooning him?
487
00:20:35,217 --> 00:20:36,567
Very good.
488
00:20:36,592 --> 00:20:38,311
But this will be
two days in a row
489
00:20:38,336 --> 00:20:40,019
you've negotiated my pants off.
490
00:20:40,044 --> 00:20:41,044
Hmm.
491
00:20:56,064 --> 00:20:58,102
So you really filmed the
whole Templeton thing?
492
00:20:58,127 --> 00:20:59,024
Yes, I did.
493
00:21:02,639 --> 00:21:05,059
- To hell with Templeton!
- Nice touch.
494
00:21:10,373 --> 00:21:11,706
Good to have you back.
495
00:21:11,731 --> 00:21:13,380
Good to be back, boss.
496
00:21:13,405 --> 00:21:15,146
Holden Weiner?
497
00:21:15,193 --> 00:21:16,913
Holden Weiner? Really guys?
498
00:21:16,945 --> 00:21:19,365
It's actually Wy-ner. I
get that all the time.
499
00:21:20,484 --> 00:21:22,570
I'm gonna need a
signature for the package.
500
00:21:22,635 --> 00:21:24,188
I think it's an
espresso machine.
501
00:21:24,213 --> 00:21:25,932
Ooh! I'll take care of that.
502
00:21:25,957 --> 00:21:29,666
Thank you Mister Weiner.
Thank you so much.
503
00:21:30,155 --> 00:21:31,155
Wyner.
504
00:21:33,345 --> 00:21:34,861
I think she sprung
for the milk foamer.
505
00:21:34,885 --> 00:21:37,220
Emily, you are the best!
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00:21:37,245 --> 00:21:39,430
I'm getting a wine fridge next.37043
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