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1
00:00:01,863 --> 00:00:05,566
Oh, my God, you are
the stupidest dad in the world!
2
00:00:05,617 --> 00:00:07,934
Did the divorce kill some
of your brain cells?
3
00:00:07,986 --> 00:00:10,904
I hate cleaning houses when
the clients are home.
4
00:00:10,955 --> 00:00:12,573
I can't believe you!
5
00:00:12,624 --> 00:00:13,907
Be invisible.
6
00:00:13,958 --> 00:00:15,576
Why would you buy me
these jeans?!
7
00:00:15,627 --> 00:00:17,411
Look at these holes!
8
00:00:17,462 --> 00:00:19,797
They're in all
the wrong places!
9
00:00:19,881 --> 00:00:21,381
How am I supposed to know
10
00:00:21,449 --> 00:00:23,950
the right holes
from the wrong holes, huh?!
11
00:00:24,002 --> 00:00:25,869
Well, maybe that's
why Mom left you!
12
00:00:28,256 --> 00:00:30,257
You don't have the right to ignore my feelings!
La, la, la, la.
.
13
00:00:30,308 --> 00:00:32,176
Fine, then I'll "la-la-la" you!
La, la, la, la,
14
00:00:32,260 --> 00:00:34,127
La-la-la-la! Can't hear you!
La-la-la-la!
.
15
00:00:34,179 --> 00:00:35,896
And I'll tell you
something else, Dad!
16
00:00:35,963 --> 00:00:37,397
You're not fooling anybody
17
00:00:37,465 --> 00:00:40,150
with that stupid toupee.
18
00:00:40,235 --> 00:00:41,018
She's crazy.
19
00:00:41,102 --> 00:00:42,569
This is all my own hair.
20
00:00:42,637 --> 00:00:43,737
Ah!
21
00:00:45,306 --> 00:00:47,341
It's made from my own hair.
22
00:00:47,408 --> 00:00:49,109
Say, ladies,
23
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:51,995
I'm leaving town for a business
trip, for a couple of weeks,
24
00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:54,448
and I'm looking
to hire a live-in
25
00:00:54,499 --> 00:00:56,867
to look after the house
and, uh, Natalie.
26
00:00:56,951 --> 00:00:59,586
One of you interested
in a little extra pay?
27
00:00:59,654 --> 00:01:00,921
No hablo ingles.
28
00:01:02,457 --> 00:01:06,243
... English.
29
00:01:07,745 --> 00:01:09,379
Whoo!
30
00:01:09,447 --> 00:01:10,614
Here we go
31
00:01:10,682 --> 00:01:13,934
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
.
32
00:01:14,149 --> 00:01:16,708
Sync and corrections by Sp8ky for
www.addic7ed.com
33
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
34
00:01:22,227 --> 00:01:24,561
I guess Hope's not going
to let us sleep in today.
35
00:01:24,646 --> 00:01:26,897
Sh-sh-sh-sh. Maybe if we
just lay here quietly,
36
00:01:26,981 --> 00:01:28,816
she'll go back to sleep.
37
00:01:28,867 --> 00:01:31,668
Ow! God... I guess not.
38
00:01:32,821 --> 00:01:34,321
Hey, Hope.
39
00:01:34,372 --> 00:01:37,825
How about just five
more minutes, okay?
40
00:01:39,828 --> 00:01:41,194
What happened?
Nipple, nipple, nipple!
41
00:01:41,246 --> 00:01:42,963
Okay. My nipple's caught!
Uh, try pushing it!
42
00:01:43,030 --> 00:01:45,031
Okay...
43
00:01:45,083 --> 00:01:46,250
Ooh, God...
44
00:01:46,334 --> 00:01:47,751
That's not it!
Try pulling it, try pulling it!
45
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,841
Oh!
Oh!
46
00:01:53,892 --> 00:01:55,676
You were right.
47
00:01:55,727 --> 00:01:57,845
Grapes make taking walks
so much more fun.
48
00:01:57,896 --> 00:01:59,763
One mushy one left, you want it?
49
00:01:59,848 --> 00:02:01,315
All yours.
50
00:02:11,910 --> 00:02:13,894
Ha-ha!
51
00:02:13,945 --> 00:02:14,745
I did it.
52
00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:17,247
What's all this?
53
00:02:17,332 --> 00:02:19,616
Jimmy almost lost his nipple
in a crib accident.
54
00:02:19,701 --> 00:02:20,784
Told you those
long nipples were going to
55
00:02:20,869 --> 00:02:22,085
come back to haunt you one day.
56
00:02:22,153 --> 00:02:24,204
He gets that from
my side of the family.
57
00:02:24,255 --> 00:02:27,090
On the plus side,
they're also very sensitive.
58
00:02:27,175 --> 00:02:28,508
Oh, good to know.
59
00:02:28,576 --> 00:02:30,544
Anyway, the crib's
been recalled,
60
00:02:30,595 --> 00:02:32,446
along with a lot of this
other old baby stuff, too.
61
00:02:32,513 --> 00:02:33,931
It can't be that dangerous.
62
00:02:34,015 --> 00:02:36,383
Jimmy played with most
of this stuff; he's fine.
63
00:02:36,434 --> 00:02:39,753
No, come to think of it,
he was always getting hurt.
64
00:02:54,035 --> 00:02:56,570
My nipple, my nipple, my nipple!
65
00:02:56,621 --> 00:02:59,873
Yeah, in retrospects,
I can see that we should've
66
00:02:59,941 --> 00:03:01,942
paid more attention
to child safety.
67
00:03:01,993 --> 00:03:03,944
And now Hope has to sleep
in a cardboard box
68
00:03:03,995 --> 00:03:05,879
and play with a teddy bear
I made from a bag of rice
69
00:03:05,947 --> 00:03:07,497
and a fuzzy toilet seat cover.
70
00:03:07,582 --> 00:03:08,966
Come to think of it,
she could choke on the rice.
71
00:03:09,050 --> 00:03:10,217
Damn it!
72
00:03:10,284 --> 00:03:11,668
We need to find a way
to make some fast money!
73
00:03:11,753 --> 00:03:13,754
Jimmy, you think if we knew
how to make fast money,
74
00:03:13,821 --> 00:03:16,122
we would have spent our whole
lives making slow money?!
75
00:03:16,174 --> 00:03:19,159
Unfortunately, I know how to
make some fast money.
76
00:03:19,227 --> 00:03:21,228
Hello.
77
00:03:21,295 --> 00:03:23,563
Hi. I don't know if you're still
looking for a live-in but...
78
00:03:23,631 --> 00:03:25,148
Oh, I'm so sorry.
79
00:03:25,233 --> 00:03:26,516
We already hired somebody.
80
00:03:26,601 --> 00:03:28,352
She threw soup at me!
81
00:03:28,436 --> 00:03:29,720
I quit.
Wha...
82
00:03:31,973 --> 00:03:33,240
You're hired.
83
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:37,683
Burt, if we go over it
one more time,
84
00:03:37,734 --> 00:03:39,202
we're just gonna
start crying again.
85
00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:41,871
It's just for two weeks,
till we have enough money
86
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,690
to buy Hope all the new
stuff she needs.
87
00:03:44,741 --> 00:03:46,459
We can make money
some other way.
88
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,744
What if I sell my plasma
89
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,030
to those people that make
the fancy TVs?!
90
00:03:53,249 --> 00:03:55,033
I miss Virginia.
91
00:03:55,085 --> 00:03:58,003
We all miss Virginia, Maw maw.
92
00:03:58,054 --> 00:03:59,555
That's why we're
eating meatloaf,
93
00:03:59,639 --> 00:04:01,640
which somebody thought would be
great if it was made of tuna.
94
00:04:01,707 --> 00:04:04,209
Well, it should've worked.
It's the chicken from the sea.
95
00:04:04,260 --> 00:04:05,978
But that's stupid,
no one eats chicken meatloaf.
96
00:04:06,045 --> 00:04:06,929
It doesn't even make sense!
97
00:04:08,441 --> 00:04:11,580
I'm sorry, it's not the loaf.
I just miss my wife.
98
00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:14,485
Time for my bath.
Been a couple of days, so
99
00:04:14,569 --> 00:04:15,620
prepare for a long one.
100
00:04:17,538 --> 00:04:19,006
Good luck with that.
101
00:04:19,057 --> 00:04:20,307
I'll tell you what you
missed on Phineas & Ferb.
102
00:04:20,374 --> 00:04:22,209
Oh, too late. I already got
my finger on my nose.
103
00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:23,394
You can put your finger
anywhere you want.
104
00:04:23,478 --> 00:04:25,362
You're still bathing Maw Maw.
105
00:04:25,430 --> 00:04:26,597
Only reason we're doing this is
'cause of your baby!
106
00:04:27,816 --> 00:04:30,234
I don't blame you.
I blame society
107
00:04:30,318 --> 00:04:31,718
which says we can't let you
swallow the same toys,
108
00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:33,187
which passed harmlessly
through your father.
109
00:04:34,823 --> 00:04:37,574
Look, I'll do all the other
chores except for Maw Maw.
110
00:04:37,659 --> 00:04:39,109
Every time I try to take care of
here, she thinks I'm Paw Paw,
111
00:04:39,194 --> 00:04:40,158
and she tries to kiss me!
112
00:04:40,278 --> 00:04:41,445
She did that to
me all the time.
113
00:04:41,529 --> 00:04:42,863
You just have to
know how to handle it.
114
00:04:45,333 --> 00:04:48,836
Hey there,
Mr. Gardener Man,
115
00:04:48,903 --> 00:04:52,456
I got something better for you
to do with that green thumb.
116
00:04:55,376 --> 00:04:57,211
Hello, Burt!
117
00:04:58,579 --> 00:05:00,097
Good luck with that bath.
118
00:05:00,181 --> 00:05:02,015
Just so you're prepared, the
carpet does match the drapes,
119
00:05:02,083 --> 00:05:03,383
and it's a deep shag.
120
00:05:05,386 --> 00:05:08,305
Oh, my God.
121
00:05:14,845 --> 00:05:17,131
You can stop doing my laundry!
122
00:05:17,198 --> 00:05:18,449
I won't need any more outfits
123
00:05:18,533 --> 00:05:20,433
because I'm never
leaving my house again!
124
00:05:23,621 --> 00:05:25,405
What's wrong?
125
00:05:25,457 --> 00:05:28,375
I have a third eye,
that's what's wrong!
126
00:05:28,443 --> 00:05:33,213
Oh, but that's nothing.
I can fix that.
127
00:05:33,281 --> 00:05:34,248
You can?
128
00:05:34,299 --> 00:05:35,215
Oh, yeah!
129
00:05:40,805 --> 00:05:41,621
Okay...
130
00:05:43,091 --> 00:05:45,058
Oh, my God!
It's completely disappeared!
131
00:05:45,126 --> 00:05:48,128
Mm-hmm. I've always been good
with makeup and stuff.
132
00:05:48,179 --> 00:05:49,830
My son only lets me
do it to him
133
00:05:49,898 --> 00:05:51,648
when we've both
had a few beers,
134
00:05:51,733 --> 00:05:54,518
and I absolutely promise
never to tell anyone.
135
00:05:54,602 --> 00:05:56,403
Don't tell anyone
I said that...
136
00:05:59,491 --> 00:06:02,976
Okay!
137
00:06:03,027 --> 00:06:04,094
You're dry now,
138
00:06:04,214 --> 00:06:06,280
and don't worry, that thing
on your back was a raisin.
139
00:06:06,331 --> 00:06:07,147
Oh, thank you.
140
00:06:07,198 --> 00:06:09,082
I feel better.
141
00:06:09,150 --> 00:06:10,667
Let me just get your
fiber shake ready
142
00:06:10,752 --> 00:06:12,953
and your humidifier
like you like it,
143
00:06:13,004 --> 00:06:14,487
and you are good to go!
144
00:06:14,539 --> 00:06:16,757
Just finding the switch
on this thing...
145
00:06:20,211 --> 00:06:22,996
Let me pour you a drink.
146
00:06:23,047 --> 00:06:24,264
Wilfrid...
147
00:06:26,384 --> 00:06:30,354
Make that cocktail
the same way I like my men.
148
00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:34,674
Stiff...
149
00:06:34,726 --> 00:06:37,778
I'm not Paw Paw, I'm your
great grandson, Maw Maw!
150
00:06:39,030 --> 00:06:40,013
Ah!
151
00:06:41,282 --> 00:06:43,784
What are you doing in my room?
152
00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:46,920
Why am I sweating?
153
00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:49,089
Am I hot flashing again?
154
00:06:49,140 --> 00:06:50,641
When will this menopause end?!
155
00:06:57,431 --> 00:06:58,282
Hey, it's me!
156
00:06:58,366 --> 00:06:59,533
Sorry.
157
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,034
It's a little chilly out here.
158
00:07:01,102 --> 00:07:03,287
Didn't want my lips to get
chapped before I saw ya.
159
00:07:03,371 --> 00:07:06,039
The only thing that doesn't
cover is your lips.
160
00:07:06,107 --> 00:07:07,708
What are you doing here anyway?
161
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:09,293
I missed ya.
162
00:07:09,377 --> 00:07:11,128
So I thought I'd come over here
and climb through your window.
163
00:07:11,212 --> 00:07:13,914
Aw, I missed you, too.
Mmm...
164
00:07:13,965 --> 00:07:17,117
It will be just like when
we were teenagers.
165
00:07:17,168 --> 00:07:19,636
Even better, because now we
don't have to make it quick
166
00:07:19,721 --> 00:07:21,421
so you could be home
in time for Alf.
167
00:07:21,472 --> 00:07:22,556
Ooh!
168
00:07:31,516 --> 00:07:33,634
Time
to wake up, Wilfrid, dear.
169
00:07:35,353 --> 00:07:37,771
What's that smell?
170
00:07:37,822 --> 00:07:40,440
Breakfast,
like I make every morning.
171
00:07:40,491 --> 00:07:42,676
Come on, it's getting cold.
172
00:07:47,448 --> 00:07:50,200
French toast will be ready
in a jiffy.
173
00:07:50,285 --> 00:07:53,453
And then I'll take care
of the baby while you eat.
174
00:07:53,504 --> 00:07:57,090
And the syrup's heating up,
just like you like it, too.
175
00:08:02,547 --> 00:08:05,528
Well, good morning, dear.
176
00:08:17,478 --> 00:08:19,512
I'm so glad you got this job.
177
00:08:19,564 --> 00:08:21,064
I know, that was quite a night.
178
00:08:21,149 --> 00:08:23,183
It actually was like
being a teenager again.
179
00:08:23,234 --> 00:08:24,684
It was awesome.
180
00:08:24,736 --> 00:08:27,070
Although I do kind of wish
I was watching Alf right now.
181
00:08:27,155 --> 00:08:29,623
Listen, you better get out of
here before Natalie wakes up.
182
00:08:29,690 --> 00:08:32,042
And use the window,
for old time's sake.
183
00:08:35,296 --> 00:08:36,830
Oh!
Wha...?!
184
00:08:36,881 --> 00:08:38,765
Whoa! What happened
to the ladder?
185
00:08:38,833 --> 00:08:40,784
Wha... huh?
186
00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:44,388
Get...
187
00:08:47,708 --> 00:08:49,142
What the hell?!
188
00:08:49,210 --> 00:08:50,543
Who is that?!
189
00:08:50,595 --> 00:08:52,829
Who is that?!
190
00:08:52,897 --> 00:08:54,564
Oh...
191
00:08:54,649 --> 00:08:57,150
Would you believe your dad
hired a butler?
192
00:08:57,218 --> 00:08:59,886
And the butler just did it.
193
00:08:59,937 --> 00:09:01,638
Not helping.
194
00:09:04,232 --> 00:09:05,765
Put your pants on,
195
00:09:05,850 --> 00:09:08,384
and stop everything you were
doing or were about to do.
196
00:09:08,436 --> 00:09:09,986
Burt, take this one downstairs.
197
00:09:11,542 --> 00:09:13,890
Okay, Romeo,
let's go.
198
00:09:13,941 --> 00:09:18,161
He walks like a penguin.
199
00:09:18,229 --> 00:09:19,863
What are you doing?
200
00:09:19,914 --> 00:09:22,732
You shouldn't be sneaking
boys into your room.
201
00:09:22,783 --> 00:09:24,067
You do.
202
00:09:24,118 --> 00:09:26,336
Wha... he's my husband.
203
00:09:26,403 --> 00:09:29,256
Well Robert's my boyfriend,
and we're just as in love.
204
00:09:29,340 --> 00:09:32,075
Probably more so, because
we're young and hot.
205
00:09:32,126 --> 00:09:33,910
Wha...
Why are you so upset about this?
206
00:09:33,961 --> 00:09:35,295
I thought you were
going to be cool.
207
00:09:35,612 --> 00:09:38,114
No, no, no, I am still cool!
208
00:09:38,165 --> 00:09:40,249
I'm like, um... wha...
209
00:09:40,465 --> 00:09:42,066
Alicia Silverstone.
210
00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:44,818
And Alicia would say
that you are clueless
211
00:09:44,903 --> 00:09:46,737
about the risks of teenage sex.
212
00:09:46,805 --> 00:09:48,272
I don't know who that is.
213
00:09:48,323 --> 00:09:49,673
Is that like a friend
of yours or something?
214
00:09:49,741 --> 00:09:51,775
Well, she was a very big star.
215
00:09:51,826 --> 00:09:54,144
Look, whatever celebrity
you teens are into nowadays,
216
00:09:54,195 --> 00:09:56,196
they say "don't do it!"
217
00:09:56,281 --> 00:09:57,531
Raven Symone!
218
00:09:58,783 --> 00:10:00,200
I don't know! I...
219
00:10:00,285 --> 00:10:01,869
Kathy Perry!
220
00:10:04,089 --> 00:10:06,090
Science...
221
00:10:06,157 --> 00:10:08,175
Is there anything you can't do?
222
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:10,461
Well, I talked to Natalie.
223
00:10:10,512 --> 00:10:11,762
She says, they
haven't had sex yet.
224
00:10:11,829 --> 00:10:13,263
But I don't know
if I believe her.
225
00:10:13,331 --> 00:10:14,848
I talked to Robert.
They haven't.
226
00:10:14,933 --> 00:10:17,017
But he's getting close.
I gave him a few tips.
227
00:10:17,102 --> 00:10:19,186
He is a slow song
and a wine cooler
228
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:20,604
away from closing the deal.
229
00:10:20,672 --> 00:10:22,189
What is wrong with you?
230
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:23,724
Why are you
encouraging this kid?
231
00:10:23,808 --> 00:10:25,392
What if Natalie gets pregnant?
232
00:10:25,477 --> 00:10:27,895
Well, you got pregnant.
You don't like our life?
233
00:10:27,979 --> 00:10:29,480
No, Burt, I do!
234
00:10:29,531 --> 00:10:32,282
Well, it's just, as a rule,
teenagers should...
235
00:10:32,350 --> 00:10:34,735
Son of a bitch,
he's going back up there.
236
00:10:34,819 --> 00:10:37,404
Oh, yeah. I told him to
wait about ten minutes.
237
00:10:37,489 --> 00:10:38,822
I guess he couldn't hold off.
238
00:10:38,873 --> 00:10:40,791
Which is disappointing,
because most of my tips
239
00:10:40,858 --> 00:10:41,909
were about just that.
240
00:10:43,828 --> 00:10:45,629
Seriously?!
241
00:10:45,697 --> 00:10:47,164
Shouldn't you be cleaning
242
00:10:47,215 --> 00:10:48,532
or making me a cheese
questadilla or something?
243
00:10:48,583 --> 00:10:49,917
You two, out of bed.
244
00:10:50,001 --> 00:10:51,301
I'm going to show you
where this can lead to.
245
00:10:51,369 --> 00:10:53,870
I'm your ghost of
teen pregnancy future.
246
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:57,874
This is where we live.
247
00:10:57,926 --> 00:10:59,143
You can't see it from here,
248
00:10:59,210 --> 00:11:00,561
but there's Silly Putty
249
00:11:00,645 --> 00:11:02,012
plugging holes in the roof.
250
00:11:02,063 --> 00:11:03,714
On the plus side, we have a ton
251
00:11:03,765 --> 00:11:04,898
of empty Silly Putty eggs,
252
00:11:04,983 --> 00:11:06,650
which we can use
for all sorts of things.
253
00:11:10,555 --> 00:11:12,723
That's my son pretending
to smoke a pipe
254
00:11:12,774 --> 00:11:14,525
and getting a foot rub from
his great-grandmother.
255
00:11:14,576 --> 00:11:16,160
I don't know what's going on,
256
00:11:16,227 --> 00:11:18,112
but trust me,
those are the actions
257
00:11:18,196 --> 00:11:20,397
of a kid raised
by teen parents.
258
00:11:20,448 --> 00:11:22,616
A multigenerational household
259
00:11:22,701 --> 00:11:24,418
leads to a strong family bond.
260
00:11:25,620 --> 00:11:27,371
How's that Harvey Wallbanger?
261
00:11:27,422 --> 00:11:30,958
Uh, tip-top, you
little hotsy-totsy.
262
00:11:31,042 --> 00:11:32,593
23 skidoo.
263
00:11:35,597 --> 00:11:37,097
Okay. I got nothing
for that one.
264
00:11:39,917 --> 00:11:42,553
Here's what I really
wanted to show you.
265
00:11:48,443 --> 00:11:49,810
Cool! You went to Paris?
266
00:11:49,894 --> 00:11:51,779
No. My friend,
Becky Decker,
267
00:11:51,863 --> 00:11:53,430
from high school did.
268
00:11:53,481 --> 00:11:56,099
She went to Paris with
her college French class.
269
00:11:56,151 --> 00:11:57,818
And this is from my two friends
270
00:11:57,902 --> 00:11:59,570
who went to Hungary and Turkey
271
00:11:59,621 --> 00:12:01,772
while I was at home
hungry for turkey.
272
00:12:01,823 --> 00:12:05,292
Oh, here's our prom photo.
273
00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:07,411
How many people
get to look that fancy
274
00:12:07,462 --> 00:12:09,213
when welcoming their son
into the world?
275
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,081
Look at those
fresh-faced kids.
276
00:12:11,149 --> 00:12:13,751
Take a good, hard look at that.
277
00:12:13,802 --> 00:12:15,452
This is what they look like
278
00:12:15,503 --> 00:12:16,720
four years later.
279
00:12:16,788 --> 00:12:18,255
Whoa, you guys aged,
280
00:12:18,306 --> 00:12:20,057
like, 20 years.
281
00:12:20,124 --> 00:12:21,842
Yeah, but we haven't aged at all
since then.
282
00:12:21,926 --> 00:12:22,959
Explain that.
283
00:12:23,011 --> 00:12:24,178
Look, Natalie's maid,
284
00:12:24,262 --> 00:12:26,096
I appreciate
what you're trying to do,
285
00:12:26,147 --> 00:12:27,464
but we're in love.
286
00:12:27,515 --> 00:12:29,132
And your son seems
to be hooking up
287
00:12:29,184 --> 00:12:30,400
with your grandmother,
288
00:12:30,468 --> 00:12:32,436
so I don't know why
you're worried about us.
289
00:12:32,487 --> 00:12:34,154
We're staying together,
and that's that.
290
00:12:34,239 --> 00:12:36,190
Yes!
No, we're not.
291
00:12:36,274 --> 00:12:37,658
I'm sorry, Robert.
292
00:12:37,742 --> 00:12:38,859
I do love you, but there's
293
00:12:38,943 --> 00:12:40,327
too much I want to do
in my life.
294
00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:41,495
I... I want
295
00:12:41,579 --> 00:12:43,280
to try crepes in Paris
296
00:12:43,331 --> 00:12:45,332
and gelato in Rome.
297
00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:48,001
I want to trip my face off
in Amsterdam!
298
00:12:48,086 --> 00:12:50,087
This is all too much for me.
299
00:12:50,154 --> 00:12:51,922
I think we should stop
seeing each other.
300
00:13:07,105 --> 00:13:08,972
Love killer.
301
00:13:09,023 --> 00:13:11,225
You killed love.
302
00:13:11,309 --> 00:13:13,310
Here's your high-ball, darling.
303
00:13:13,361 --> 00:13:16,113
Hope you don't mind
pot roast tonight.
304
00:13:16,180 --> 00:13:17,731
Horsefeathers, you dumb Dora.
305
00:13:17,816 --> 00:13:20,067
You know I think
your cooking is swell.
306
00:13:20,151 --> 00:13:21,201
Oh, Wilfrid.
307
00:13:21,286 --> 00:13:23,687
Mmm...
308
00:13:29,244 --> 00:13:30,994
Oh, hey.
309
00:13:31,045 --> 00:13:33,029
Jimmy, you know I love
your quirky family,
310
00:13:33,081 --> 00:13:34,915
but you nailing
your great-grandmother
311
00:13:34,999 --> 00:13:36,717
is going to be
a real deal breaker.
312
00:13:36,801 --> 00:13:38,218
Maw Maw's just in one
of her delusions.
313
00:13:38,303 --> 00:13:39,536
She thinks I'm Wilfrid.
314
00:13:39,587 --> 00:13:41,255
But she's easier
to take care of this way.
315
00:13:41,339 --> 00:13:42,589
She actually takes care of me.
316
00:13:42,674 --> 00:13:44,591
And if things go too far,
I can stop her
317
00:13:44,676 --> 00:13:46,009
just by spraying her
with this bottle.
318
00:13:46,060 --> 00:13:47,644
So kissing her on the lips
wasn't going too far?
319
00:13:47,712 --> 00:13:49,146
Well, first of all,
my mouth was closed.
320
00:13:49,213 --> 00:13:51,214
And second,
can you smell that pot roast?
321
00:13:51,266 --> 00:13:53,350
Come on in.
322
00:13:53,401 --> 00:13:55,485
Dinner's...
323
00:13:55,553 --> 00:13:57,905
What the hell is your sister,
Mabel, doing here?
324
00:13:57,989 --> 00:13:59,690
Oh, gee willikers, honey buns.
325
00:13:59,741 --> 00:14:02,559
Your pot roast is so swell,
I invited her for dinner, see?
326
00:14:04,112 --> 00:14:06,880
How could you invite her today
on this special occasion?
327
00:14:06,948 --> 00:14:08,415
What special occasion?
328
00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:10,450
Unbelievable.
329
00:14:11,319 --> 00:14:12,570
Every year!
Aah!
330
00:14:12,621 --> 00:14:15,406
Get the spray bottle!
331
00:14:15,457 --> 00:14:18,275
You always forget
our anniversary every year!
332
00:14:18,326 --> 00:14:19,577
Sabrina!
333
00:14:19,628 --> 00:14:21,295
Why do I always get my hopes up
334
00:14:21,379 --> 00:14:22,913
every year?!
335
00:14:22,964 --> 00:14:25,082
Squirt her! Squirt her!
336
00:14:25,133 --> 00:14:26,783
You know what?
I don't think I should.
337
00:14:26,835 --> 00:14:28,886
'Cause she just really looks
like she's hurting right now.
338
00:14:28,953 --> 00:14:30,504
She's really hurting me!
339
00:14:30,589 --> 00:14:31,889
That's who she's hurting!
340
00:14:35,927 --> 00:14:38,262
Do you still believe in love, Robert?
Oh, my God!
341
00:14:38,313 --> 00:14:40,297
Oh, it's okay!
It's okay, Robert! It's Burt.
342
00:14:40,348 --> 00:14:41,849
It's your ex-girlfriend's
temporary maid's husband.
343
00:14:43,068 --> 00:14:44,635
I think I have an idea
344
00:14:44,686 --> 00:14:46,170
how we can get Natalie back.
345
00:14:47,739 --> 00:14:49,823
Do you still believe in love?
346
00:15:00,285 --> 00:15:03,087
You brought us to your
high school sex hideout?
347
00:15:03,154 --> 00:15:05,489
You know, it sounds cheap
when you say it like that.
348
00:15:05,540 --> 00:15:08,425
Me and Virginia called it
the "Stabbin' Cabin."
349
00:15:08,493 --> 00:15:10,661
Which sounds cheap, too, now,
350
00:15:10,712 --> 00:15:12,262
but back then,
we thought it was poetic.
351
00:15:12,330 --> 00:15:14,014
I brought you guys
here 'cause my wife
352
00:15:14,099 --> 00:15:15,516
showed you what our
lives were like,
353
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:16,934
but she left out some parts.
354
00:15:21,606 --> 00:15:24,308
These ticket stubs are
from our first movie date:
355
00:15:24,359 --> 00:15:25,893
Beverly Hills Cop II.
356
00:15:25,977 --> 00:15:27,444
Ah.
357
00:15:27,512 --> 00:15:30,614
This kernel of popcorn fell
down Virginia's cleavage.
358
00:15:30,682 --> 00:15:33,016
Just when you think boobs
can't get any better...
359
00:15:33,068 --> 00:15:34,318
butter flavored.
360
00:15:35,570 --> 00:15:37,988
Ah, this is the gum
wrapper necklace
361
00:15:38,039 --> 00:15:39,957
that Virginia made me
at pregnant girl camp.
362
00:15:42,377 --> 00:15:44,495
Ah, these are the
pretend magazine covers
363
00:15:44,546 --> 00:15:46,830
Good Adventure Theme Park.
364
00:15:46,881 --> 00:15:48,082
How is that place?
365
00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:50,367
It's almost awesome.
366
00:15:50,435 --> 00:15:51,868
Look.
367
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,138
Virginia and I were perfect
for each other.
368
00:15:54,205 --> 00:15:56,306
Waiting wouldn't have made us
more perfect,
369
00:15:56,374 --> 00:15:58,375
but it could have made us
miss out on perfect,
370
00:15:58,426 --> 00:16:00,678
and I just don't want
to see you guys miss out
371
00:16:00,729 --> 00:16:02,413
on your chance to have
the perfect person, either.
372
00:16:03,881 --> 00:16:05,849
Oh, my God, he's right.
373
00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:08,218
We are perfect for each other.
374
00:16:08,269 --> 00:16:09,937
The world might be
against you sometimes,
375
00:16:10,021 --> 00:16:12,055
but you'll always
have an ally in me.
376
00:16:12,107 --> 00:16:13,440
Natalie!
377
00:16:13,725 --> 00:16:15,475
Natalie!
378
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,260
I was never here!
379
00:16:17,312 --> 00:16:19,730
And remember,
snitches get stitches.
380
00:16:22,819 --> 00:16:24,703
Natalie?
381
00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:27,789
Oh, my God.
382
00:16:27,874 --> 00:16:29,291
She's coming in!
383
00:16:29,375 --> 00:16:31,209
Robert, hide!
384
00:16:31,277 --> 00:16:32,911
She's going to kill you!
385
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:44,089
Natalie, I know you're in here.
386
00:16:46,843 --> 00:16:48,644
How'd you find me?
387
00:16:48,728 --> 00:16:50,262
I called your dad.
388
00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,564
He uses GPS to
track your phone.
389
00:16:52,632 --> 00:16:54,399
That put me
in this general area,
390
00:16:54,467 --> 00:16:56,485
and then it didn't take
the Mentalist to figure out
391
00:16:56,569 --> 00:16:57,819
you were in the Stabbin' Cabin.
392
00:16:57,904 --> 00:16:59,321
Where's Robert?
393
00:16:59,405 --> 00:17:00,822
He's not here yet.
394
00:17:00,907 --> 00:17:02,958
You got to get out of here
before you ruin everything.
395
00:17:03,026 --> 00:17:04,359
I'd rather ruin tonight
396
00:17:04,444 --> 00:17:06,161
than let you ruin
your whole life.
397
00:17:06,245 --> 00:17:08,196
Look, Robert and I are in love.
398
00:17:08,281 --> 00:17:09,531
We're meant to be,
399
00:17:09,616 --> 00:17:11,617
just like you and Burt,
but with better grades.
400
00:17:11,668 --> 00:17:14,819
Fine, but that doesn't mean
you have to sleep together.
401
00:17:14,871 --> 00:17:16,204
But we want to.
402
00:17:16,289 --> 00:17:17,539
We're ready.
403
00:17:17,624 --> 00:17:19,207
You're ready to have a baby?
404
00:17:19,292 --> 00:17:20,659
We know how to use condoms.
405
00:17:20,710 --> 00:17:22,794
We put them on cucumbers
in health class.
406
00:17:22,845 --> 00:17:24,663
First of all,
putting them on cucumbers
407
00:17:24,714 --> 00:17:26,915
is just setting yourself up
for disappointment.
408
00:17:26,983 --> 00:17:28,350
And besides,
409
00:17:28,434 --> 00:17:31,670
condoms don't always work,
410
00:17:31,721 --> 00:17:34,556
and guys don't always stay.
411
00:17:34,641 --> 00:17:36,808
Burt did,
and Robert would, too.
412
00:17:36,859 --> 00:17:40,011
And we could have a happy family
just like you two.
413
00:17:40,063 --> 00:17:41,396
Yeah, fine. Maybe you will.
414
00:17:41,481 --> 00:17:43,482
Maybe you will be just like me.
415
00:17:43,533 --> 00:17:44,983
Maybe there'll be an accident,
416
00:17:45,034 --> 00:17:47,352
and maybe Robert
will do the right thing
417
00:17:47,403 --> 00:17:51,123
and you'll have a family
and be happy just like me.
418
00:17:51,190 --> 00:17:53,375
But...
419
00:17:53,459 --> 00:17:57,796
you'll always wonder
why he stayed.
420
00:17:57,863 --> 00:18:01,500
Was it for you or the baby?
421
00:18:01,551 --> 00:18:03,802
You'll always wonder
if you kept him from something,
422
00:18:03,869 --> 00:18:06,304
from being something more.
423
00:18:06,372 --> 00:18:08,256
Let's be honest...
probably not a lot more,
424
00:18:08,341 --> 00:18:10,092
but something.
425
00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:12,711
Did he stay
because he wanted to
426
00:18:12,762 --> 00:18:14,680
or because he had to?
427
00:18:14,731 --> 00:18:16,515
I poked a hole in the condom.
428
00:18:16,566 --> 00:18:18,883
What?
429
00:18:18,935 --> 00:18:21,319
Not your condom; our condom.
430
00:18:21,387 --> 00:18:22,554
Burt, what are you...?
431
00:18:22,605 --> 00:18:24,489
Look, Virginia,
from the moment I met you,
432
00:18:24,557 --> 00:18:25,991
I knew you were the one.
433
00:18:26,058 --> 00:18:28,577
I also knew you were way,
way out of my league.
434
00:18:28,661 --> 00:18:29,945
I was not.
435
00:18:30,029 --> 00:18:31,997
I was in a back brace.
436
00:18:32,064 --> 00:18:33,415
That was a bonus.
437
00:18:33,499 --> 00:18:35,784
It was like you were hot
and bionic.
438
00:18:35,868 --> 00:18:37,703
Plus smart and funny.
439
00:18:37,754 --> 00:18:39,121
I knew my only shot
440
00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:41,406
was to get you pregnant
so you had to marry me
441
00:18:41,457 --> 00:18:43,074
before you figured out
you could do better.
442
00:18:43,126 --> 00:18:46,044
So, your plan for a lifetime
of happiness
443
00:18:46,095 --> 00:18:49,181
was to trick me into getting
pregnant at 15 years old?
444
00:18:49,248 --> 00:18:50,949
That was the best
I could come up with.
445
00:18:52,101 --> 00:18:54,052
Well...
446
00:18:54,103 --> 00:18:56,972
it's hard to argue
with your results.
447
00:19:11,738 --> 00:19:13,071
I'm confused.
448
00:19:13,122 --> 00:19:14,790
Does that mean we're
supposed to have sex
449
00:19:14,874 --> 00:19:16,441
or not have sex or...
450
00:19:16,492 --> 00:19:17,993
Do whatever you want.
We don't care.
451
00:19:18,077 --> 00:19:19,878
It was never really about you.
452
00:19:24,283 --> 00:19:26,117
I'll never stop loving you
.
453
00:19:26,169 --> 00:19:28,053
Oh... look.
454
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:29,971
Oh...
455
00:19:30,056 --> 00:19:34,476
Whatever else I may do
.
456
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,645
Happy anniversary, darling.
457
00:19:36,729 --> 00:19:38,847
It's beautiful.
458
00:19:38,931 --> 00:19:41,483
My love for you
459
00:19:41,567 --> 00:19:45,403
Will live till time itself
460
00:19:45,471 --> 00:19:47,722
Is through
461
00:19:49,459 --> 00:19:51,242
I'll never stop
wanting you...
.
462
00:19:51,294 --> 00:19:52,761
What the hell is going on?
463
00:19:52,845 --> 00:19:54,262
Oh.
464
00:19:54,347 --> 00:19:57,098
We're just giving Maw Maw
a special memory.
465
00:19:57,183 --> 00:19:59,351
It's cool.
I'm fine with it.
466
00:19:59,418 --> 00:20:00,635
He's allowed to touch
anything above the waist,
467
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,086
and her boobs are so low,
468
00:20:02,138 --> 00:20:03,388
that doesn't really allow
for much of anything.
469
00:20:05,975 --> 00:20:08,092
When it comes to wives,
470
00:20:08,144 --> 00:20:11,930
Barbara June,
you are the cat's meow.
471
00:20:11,981 --> 00:20:14,566
Speaking of things that purr,
472
00:20:14,617 --> 00:20:17,569
I have a gift you can open.
473
00:20:17,620 --> 00:20:20,071
Here's a hint.
474
00:20:20,122 --> 00:20:22,073
It's my legs.
475
00:20:22,124 --> 00:20:24,159
Okay, we're done.
476
00:20:27,647 --> 00:20:29,447
Why am I wet?
477
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,718
And why are there
decorations out here?
478
00:20:33,786 --> 00:20:36,388
Did I drown in the tub,
and this is my wake?
479
00:20:38,090 --> 00:20:39,641
Ooh...
480
00:20:39,725 --> 00:20:42,427
I'm here. I'm here.
481
00:20:42,478 --> 00:20:45,564
You're not dead, Maw Maw.
482
00:20:45,631 --> 00:20:48,526
Damn it, this life
is taking forever.
483
00:20:49,192 --> 00:20:51,728
Hey, this is Wilfred's and my song.
484
00:20:51,737 --> 00:20:53,179
Really? I didn't know that.
485
00:20:53,299 --> 00:20:55,602
Oh yeah we danced on this song years ago,
486
00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:57,744
on our wonderful anniversary.
487
00:20:57,864 --> 00:21:00,345
It's the year Wilfred
gave me this necklace.
488
00:21:00,465 --> 00:21:02,880
It's my favorite memory.
489
00:21:03,528 --> 00:21:06,495
That's why I never take it off.
490
00:21:10,666 --> 00:21:12,675
Well I guess I won't be
getting that necklace back.
491
00:21:12,795 --> 00:21:15,323
I'll get you a new necklace
on our anniversary,
492
00:21:15,443 --> 00:21:17,670
which I promise to never forget.
493
00:21:20,581 --> 00:21:23,567
- You taste like your great grandmother.
- I'll brush my teeth.
494
00:21:24,497 --> 00:21:27,539
Sync and corrections by Sp8ky for
www.addic7ed.com
495
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,103
Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player
496
00:21:31,153 --> 00:21:35,703
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