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Red Nose Day Actually!
2
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MUSIC: God Only Knows by The Beach Boys.
3
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:13,810
# God only knows what I'd be without you.
4
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:27,000
I'll get it.
5
00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:37,425
Who is it?
6
00:00:37,825 --> 00:00:41,465
He's not going to believe that, it's March.
7
00:00:44,539 --> 00:00:46,149
They're raising money for Red Nose Day.
8
00:00:46,435 --> 00:00:47,295
Oh, not again.
9
00:00:47,296 --> 00:00:49,906
Give them a quid and tell them to bugger off.
10
00:01:15,354 --> 00:01:17,120
Oh, that's a nice idea.
11
00:01:24,889 --> 00:01:26,819
Yes, thank you, we're very happy.
12
00:01:37,226 --> 00:01:39,326
How are you?
13
00:02:03,008 --> 00:02:06,008
Do you like the beard?
14
00:02:11,593 --> 00:02:14,852
I don't like it either!
15
00:02:23,370 --> 00:02:26,780
JO WHILEY ON RADIO: And tomorrow is Red Nose
Day and we hope everyone
16
00:02:26,781 --> 00:02:28,652
will be giving a little cash
to this great cause.
17
00:02:28,653 --> 00:02:30,846
Maybe even our Prime Minister himself,
back in Number Ten
18
00:02:30,847 --> 00:02:34,753
after five years away.
19
00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:36,917
Here's a little song to
loosen your loose change.
20
00:02:39,124 --> 00:02:41,624
MUSIC: Hotline Bling by Drake.
21
00:02:41,654 --> 00:02:43,424
# Yeah.
22
00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:47,904
# You used to call me on my cell phone.
23
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:50,424
# Late night when you need my love.
24
00:02:50,454 --> 00:02:54,184
# Call me on my cell phone.
25
00:02:54,214 --> 00:02:57,704
# Late night when you need my love.
26
00:02:57,734 --> 00:03:01,784
# And I know when that hotline bling.
27
00:03:01,814 --> 00:03:05,654
# That can only mean one thing.
28
00:03:05,684 --> 00:03:09,014
# I know when that hotline bling.
29
00:03:09,044 --> 00:03:11,144
# That can only mean one thing.
30
00:03:11,174 --> 00:03:12,824
# Ever since I left the city.
31
00:03:12,854 --> 00:03:17,734
# You got a reputation for yourself now.
32
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:23,294
# Everybody knows and I feel left out...
33
00:03:23,324 --> 00:03:25,014
Whoa!
34
00:03:25,044 --> 00:03:26,904
# Ever since I left the city...
35
00:03:26,934 --> 00:03:28,984
Ah!
36
00:03:29,014 --> 00:03:33,654
Ow.
37
00:03:33,684 --> 00:03:34,734
That really hurts.
38
00:03:34,764 --> 00:03:36,184
It's very undignified.
39
00:03:36,214 --> 00:03:39,784
# You started wearing less and goin' out more.
40
00:03:39,814 --> 00:03:43,504
# Glasses of champagne out on the dance floor.
41
00:03:43,534 --> 00:03:46,544
# Hangin' with some girls I've never seen before.
42
00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:48,791
Oh, Lord.
43
00:03:48,819 --> 00:03:51,819
How many times have I told you not to
dance down the stair?
44
00:03:51,849 --> 00:03:53,509
Once or twice, once or twice.
45
00:03:53,539 --> 00:03:54,459
Was it Hotline Bling again?
46
00:03:54,489 --> 00:03:55,919
Yes, I'm afraid it was.
47
00:03:55,949 --> 00:03:58,819
When I hear that hotline bling,
that can only mean one thing.
48
00:03:58,849 --> 00:04:00,919
I assume that cup of tea is for me.
49
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:01,989
No.
50
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You've changed.
51
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I haven't.
52
00:04:04,019 --> 00:04:04,919
I'll make you one.
53
00:04:04,949 --> 00:04:05,845
Come on.
54
00:04:06,118 --> 00:04:08,158
I liked it best when you worked for me.
55
00:04:09,557 --> 00:04:10,767
You work for me, really.
56
00:04:10,797 --> 00:04:11,717
Tell the truth.
I work for the nation...
57
00:04:13,357 --> 00:04:18,487
So, Billy Mack, welcome back to the airwaves.
58
00:04:18,517 --> 00:04:21,817
Billy, you have released a charity single,
and it's a cover version
59
00:04:21,847 --> 00:04:24,357
of the ZZ Top classic Gimme All Your Lovin'.
60
00:04:24,387 --> 00:04:31,647
Yes, except we've changed the word "lovin"' to "money".
61
00:04:33,210 --> 00:04:34,430
But seriously, Red Nose Day,
62
00:04:34,460 --> 00:04:36,380
a wonderful charity supporting children.
63
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:39,070
You must like kids.
64
00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:41,860
No, the truth is, I like
the kids who buy my records.
65
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:44,790
I can't stand the other ones.
66
00:04:44,820 --> 00:04:47,540
Even you must have noted how
short and selfish they are.
67
00:04:47,570 --> 00:04:49,500
Billy, why a charity record?
68
00:04:49,530 --> 00:04:51,330
Well, come on, Mikey!
69
00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,300
It must be pretty obvious.
70
00:04:53,330 --> 00:04:56,380
I've got an autobiography coming out and
I need a bit of publicity.
71
00:04:56,410 --> 00:04:57,460
Ah, yes, the book.
72
00:04:57,490 --> 00:04:59,820
It's called Macknificent.
73
00:04:59,850 --> 00:05:00,820
Yeah.
74
00:05:00,850 --> 00:05:02,070
Are you proud of it?
75
00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:03,020
I've no idea.
76
00:05:03,050 --> 00:05:04,430
I haven't read it, have you?
77
00:05:04,460 --> 00:05:05,540
Yes.
78
00:05:05,570 --> 00:05:06,510
Poor bugger.
79
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:07,430
What's it like?
80
00:05:07,460 --> 00:05:08,430
It's pretty good, actually.
81
00:05:08,460 --> 00:05:09,380
Oh, Wow!
82
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:10,510
That's a relief.
83
00:05:10,540 --> 00:05:14,070
Billy, I see you haven't got
your manager with you today.
84
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:17,380
Tell me, has he finally left you
after you being so rude about him?
85
00:05:17,410 --> 00:05:21,020
Not really, Mike.
86
00:05:21,050 --> 00:05:25,330
He was a big man, with a big heart.
87
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:29,870
Big heart attack.
88
00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:34,180
Big coffin.
89
00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:36,590
It's a big hole in my life.
90
00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:39,660
Wow.
91
00:05:39,690 --> 00:05:40,900
Thank you for that, Billy.
92
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For what?
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Well, for giving an honest
answer to a question.
94
00:05:45,010 --> 00:05:49,150
That never happens here at Radio Watford.
95
00:05:49,180 --> 00:05:51,790
Ask me anything you like,
I'll tell you the truth.
96
00:05:51,820 --> 00:05:55,150
OK, I probably asked you this
last time you were here,
97
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:56,950
but best shag you ever had?
98
00:05:56,980 --> 00:05:59,340
Ooh, that's a tough one.
99
00:05:59,370 --> 00:06:02,590
I mean, look.
100
00:06:02,620 --> 00:06:05,620
It's definitely one of the Kardashians.
101
00:06:05,650 --> 00:06:07,020
But which one, Mike?
102
00:06:07,050 --> 00:06:11,340
Which one?
103
00:06:12,770 --> 00:06:14,310
Excuse me?
104
00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:16,260
Yes, young sir.
105
00:06:16,290 --> 00:06:18,030
Are you looking for anything in particular?
106
00:06:18,060 --> 00:06:20,150
How much is a red nose?
107
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,820
£1.
108
00:06:21,850 --> 00:06:22,900
OK, I'll take one
109
00:06:22,930 --> 00:06:24,440
Lovely.
110
00:06:24,470 --> 00:06:27,800
Would you like it giftwrapped?
111
00:06:27,830 --> 00:06:28,770
All right.
112
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,160
Excellent.
113
00:06:31,190 --> 00:06:35,080
Let me see.
114
00:06:35,110 --> 00:06:37,010
Could we be quite quick?
115
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:38,570
Yes, certainly, sir.
116
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:45,960
It'll be ready in the jiffiest of jiffies.
117
00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:12,650
Oh, I don't need a bag.
118
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,650
Oh, this isn't a bag, sir.
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This is so much more than just a bag.
120
00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:23,360
Do you remember the first time I drove you?
121
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Of course!
122
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Yes.
123
00:07:26,556 --> 00:07:30,166
I remember looking at you and
thinking "What a handsome man.
124
00:07:31,230 --> 00:07:32,880
That kind of face never gets old".
125
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:33,950
Yes.
126
00:07:33,980 --> 00:07:35,920
How right you were.
127
00:07:36,004 --> 00:07:40,449
I wished you could speak Portuguese
so I could tell you how I felt.
128
00:08:14,420 --> 00:08:16,920
Ok
Well, I got most of that.
129
00:08:16,950 --> 00:08:18,750
There was something about central heating, wasn't there?
130
00:08:18,780 --> 00:08:21,470
And roast potatoes, benarkan?
131
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,520
Yes, sayang.
132
00:08:23,550 --> 00:08:26,000
ngomong-ngomong, kau sangat tampan hari ini.
133
00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:27,640
Oh, yes, thank you.
134
00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:28,930
They're right back in fashion.
135
00:08:29,235 --> 00:08:30,305
Or not.
136
00:08:30,335 --> 00:08:31,385
OK.
137
00:08:31,415 --> 00:08:34,205
Here, here, pull in.
138
00:08:34,235 --> 00:08:35,485
In, in, come on.
139
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,995
Hop in.
140
00:08:37,025 --> 00:08:39,795
I passed my exam!
141
00:08:39,825 --> 00:08:41,485
Oh, excellent.
142
00:08:41,515 --> 00:08:42,565
How was your clay?
143
00:08:42,595 --> 00:08:43,515
Strap in.
144
00:08:43,545 --> 00:08:45,515
All right, off we go.
145
00:08:45,545 --> 00:08:47,485
I got picked for the team!
146
00:08:47,515 --> 00:08:48,845
He said my hat's stupid.
147
00:08:48,875 --> 00:08:50,355
My hat's not stupid, is it?
148
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It's a little bit stupid.
149
00:09:10,815 --> 00:09:13,145
That's great!
150
00:09:13,175 --> 00:09:14,425
Yes!
151
00:09:14,455 --> 00:09:17,375
That is great.
152
00:09:17,405 --> 00:09:19,505
Can we have rice with it this time, though?
153
00:09:19,535 --> 00:09:24,605
I'm getting a little tired of stir-fry.
154
00:09:40,535 --> 00:09:42,655
Why not?
155
00:09:42,710 --> 00:09:47,375
And of course, the yoghurt-coated raisins.
156
00:09:47,405 --> 00:09:50,905
Come on!
157
00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:58,012
Almost there.
158
00:09:58,082 --> 00:10:00,725
Almost?!
159
00:10:16,225 --> 00:10:18,875
Dad?
160
00:10:18,905 --> 00:10:21,235
Sam!
161
00:10:21,265 --> 00:10:24,365
What the hell are you doing here?
162
00:10:24,395 --> 00:10:26,285
You're supposed to be in New York!
163
00:10:26,315 --> 00:10:28,515
I know, I thought I'd give you a surprise visit.
164
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:31,059
The surprise is, you have to pay for my flight.
165
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,250
That's OK. My God, you've grown.
166
00:10:33,310 --> 00:10:35,525
No, I'm just wearing high-heeled trainers.
167
00:10:35,555 --> 00:10:37,205
Oh, yeah, so you are.
168
00:10:37,235 --> 00:10:38,875
Come on, sit down, sit down.
169
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:40,365
How are things?
170
00:10:40,395 --> 00:10:42,315
Good, good.
171
00:10:42,345 --> 00:10:44,005
Now, listen, mister.
172
00:10:44,035 --> 00:10:46,820
I'm worried. You haven't been in touch.
173
00:10:46,921 --> 00:10:49,691
I know, I'm sorry. I've just had a lot on my mind.
174
00:10:49,721 --> 00:10:50,921
What is it?
175
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:51,761
Work tough?
176
00:10:51,791 --> 00:10:52,891
Money?
177
00:10:52,921 --> 00:10:55,121
I can help you with money, you know. I'm loaded.
178
00:10:55,151 --> 00:10:56,081
No.
179
00:10:56,111 --> 00:10:59,251
No, it's, um...
180
00:10:59,281 --> 00:11:01,201
Well, it's more of a love thing, actually.
181
00:11:01,231 --> 00:11:02,921
Oh, here we go again.
182
00:11:02,951 --> 00:11:05,411
What age are you now, 14, 15?
183
00:11:05,441 --> 00:11:06,811
I'm 26.
184
00:11:06,841 --> 00:11:08,691
Exactly.
185
00:11:08,721 --> 00:11:12,001
You should have had this sorted out ages ago.
186
00:11:12,031 --> 00:11:14,921
As far as I remember,
187
00:11:14,951 --> 00:11:18,171
the only person you've ever genuinely been in love with
188
00:11:18,201 --> 00:11:20,411
was that cute wee girl, the singer at school.
189
00:11:20,441 --> 00:11:21,771
You were 12, remember?
190
00:11:21,801 --> 00:11:24,001
Hmm.
191
00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:27,491
That's what's been on my mind.
192
00:11:36,081 --> 00:11:37,921
Joanna!
193
00:11:37,951 --> 00:11:43,101
We met up in New York and, er, well, that's why we're here.
194
00:11:43,131 --> 00:11:47,131
Sir.
195
00:11:47,161 --> 00:11:54,641
I was wondering if I could ask for your son's hand in marriage.
196
00:11:55,721 --> 00:11:57,931
Please?
197
00:11:57,961 --> 00:12:00,611
Really?
198
00:12:00,641 --> 00:12:03,081
All you want for Christmas is this stringbean?
199
00:12:03,111 --> 00:12:05,971
Yeah.
200
00:12:06,311 --> 00:12:08,081
I'll think about it.
201
00:12:08,111 --> 00:12:10,721
Dad?
202
00:12:10,751 --> 00:12:14,361
Come here!
203
00:12:19,601 --> 00:12:22,211
So, is that a yes?
204
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:25,441
I'm...thinking about it.
205
00:12:36,931 --> 00:12:37,931
Morning.
206
00:12:37,961 --> 00:12:39,491
Good morning.
207
00:12:39,521 --> 00:12:40,721
Yes?
208
00:12:40,751 --> 00:12:43,081
Robert.
209
00:12:43,111 --> 00:12:46,621
Prime Minister, what happened to your arm?
210
00:12:46,651 --> 00:12:49,411
I fell down the stairs while dancing to Hotline Bling.
211
00:12:49,441 --> 00:12:52,051
I believe it happened to Palmerston as well.
212
00:12:52,081 --> 00:12:53,491
Any serious questions?
213
00:12:53,521 --> 00:12:55,131
Bernard.
214
00:12:55,161 --> 00:12:58,491
Yes, Prime Minister, when you came to power the first time,
215
00:12:58,521 --> 00:13:00,181
you were very optimistic.
216
00:13:00,211 --> 00:13:03,371
You said that the power of good could finally win,
217
00:13:03,401 --> 00:13:06,901
that love actually was all around.
218
00:13:06,931 --> 00:13:11,051
14 years later, do you still feel as upbeat?
219
00:13:11,081 --> 00:13:14,731
Well, um, interesting.
220
00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:17,931
Obviously, times for many people have got harder and people
221
00:13:17,961 --> 00:13:21,731
are nervous and fearful.
222
00:13:21,761 --> 00:13:24,091
And it's not just in politics that things are tough.
223
00:13:24,121 --> 00:13:25,771
Usain Bolt has run his last Olympics.
224
00:13:25,801 --> 00:13:27,131
The Harry Potter films have finished.
225
00:13:27,161 --> 00:13:28,261
Piers Morgan's still alive.
226
00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:32,931
LAUGHTER.
227
00:13:32,961 --> 00:13:35,131
But, let's look at the other side of the coin.
228
00:13:35,161 --> 00:13:36,811
Metallica's new album is an absolute cracker.
229
00:13:36,841 --> 00:13:41,341
And on a deeper level, I'm optimistic.
230
00:13:41,371 --> 00:13:46,061
Wherever you see tragedy, you see bravery too.
231
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:49,701
Wherever you see ordinary people in need,
232
00:13:49,731 --> 00:13:53,901
you see extraordinary ordinary people come to their aid.
233
00:13:53,931 --> 00:13:57,811
Today's Red Nose Day, and people are giving their hard-earned cash
234
00:13:57,841 --> 00:14:00,291
to people who they'll never meet, but whose pain and fear
235
00:14:00,321 --> 00:14:04,541
they feel and want to fight.
236
00:14:04,571 --> 00:14:11,451
So it's not just romantic love which is all around.
237
00:14:11,481 --> 00:14:16,731
Most people still, every day, everywhere, have enough love
238
00:14:16,761 --> 00:14:20,371
in their heart to help human beings in trouble.
239
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,861
Good's going to win.
240
00:14:22,891 --> 00:14:27,211
I'm actually sure of it.
241
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:28,571
Yes, next question?
242
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,991
Keir?
243
00:14:31,144 --> 00:14:33,354
Prime Minister, what do you think is the best
244
00:14:33,384 --> 00:14:34,304
Christmas film ever made?
245
00:14:35,915 --> 00:14:38,981
Well, don't be stupid.
Everyone knows it's Elf.
246
00:14:39,657 --> 00:14:43,477
Yeah, Tommy?
16620
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