All language subtitles for The.Girl.In.The.Bathtub.2018.720p.LIFE.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-BTN

Hi.

I'm just sucking down
this caramel frappucino.

It's disgusting.

Uh, I just wanted to tell you
that I love you and I miss you

and I crave you more than,
well, definitely more than this,

but more than chocolate
or crack cocaine,

and that even when I'm dead
and I'm in the ground

and being eaten by worms
I will still love you

because love never dies.

Mwah!

I miss you and I love you
and I'm here for you

and I will see you soon.

After I died this video got
more than two million views.

I imagine people who Google
a dead person

or watch movies about them
are looking for clues.

They keep clicking because
they wanna know the person

behind the headline.

They wanna know what
you were really like.

If you were good or bad.

Naughty or nice.

In my case people wanna know
how I ended up dead

three days before my 27th
birthday in the bathtub

of prominent Philadelphia
defence attorney, Chuck Peruto,

who also happened to be my boss.

Somebody once said publicity
is like sex.

When it's good it's great

and when it's bad
it's still pretty good.

In Philly Chuck gets
a lot of publicity.

Chuck was basically known
for two things.

Defending murderers and mobsters
in court

and dating gorgeous girls
half his age.

Girls like me.

The day after I died Chuck
posted that I was an angel

who God took too soon,

which is nice but
not exactly true.

I was a lot of things.

But I was definitely no angel.

[speaking Spanish]

Zulma, Chuck's property manager,
was the one who found me.

[screaming]

Hello?

Solomon?

Yeah.

Do you have my shirt?

Chuck sends Zulma
to retrieve his shirt

from his condo in
Rittenhouse Square

while Chuck was down
on the shore

hosting his infamous Memorial
Day beach bash in Margate.

What?

From beginning the shirt
business seemed fishy.

He's down on the shore.

Why is a guy so desperate
for his shirt?

It's human nature to want
to solve the mystery

but, like a crystal prism, you
hold any life up to the light

and different
colours emerge.

They found a dead girl in
Chuck's Peruto's bathtub.

Oh my god.

I just read it on Facebook.

In the days and weeks
after my death,

cops, journalists,

documentarians and armchair
detectives

will scour my Facebook page,

my online posts,
and my YouTube channel

trying to figure out
what happened to me.

[phone ringing]

Lola, hon, can you grab that?

Yeah, hang on.

On local talkshows and
newsmagazines they'll call me

a raven-haired beauty
with a Mona Lisa smile.

A sweetheart.

A slut.

Party central.

People will speculate
and gossip in every bar,

party and dining room
in the city.

What?

M- mom?

They found Julia.

An autopsy will be conducted,
they'll interview co-workers,

lovers, friends and family,

and just like when I used
to obsess over interviews,

autopsy reports and
conspiracy theories,

now strangers obsess over me.

The girl in Chuck Peruto's
bathtub.

Because while everybody
in Philly knew Chuck Peruto.

Nobody really knew me.

I was madly in love with her.

What possible reason
would I have to kill her?

♪

(crowd): Woooo!

(Guest): Happy graduation,
Angie!

[cheering]

[laughing]

Wow.

Last time Terri got this drunk
tables were thrown.

Do you think I should intervene?

No.

Chuck could use a few dents
in that giant head of his.

I overheard him talking
to Spencer saying

that he's in love with you.

No, you didn't.

That didn't happen.

Ok, from my desk at reception
I see everything.

I don't need Chuck falling
in love with me.

Look at how scary Terri is.

She looks like she could
throw me out a window

without even blinking.

Yeah.

And also, he's 58.
I'll be 27 next week.

I'm way too old for him.

Yeah, but you're Mary Poppins.

Oh, come on.

A spoonful of sugar.

[laughing]

Ok, alright, alright, alright.

No, no, no, no, no.

You two are planning something
here right now,

I can tell.

Yeah, a hostile takeover
of your corner office.

Is that it?

Take it.

I'm done with that view.

So then, boss, you know,
I have my degree,

you think I can get that raise?

Oh yeah, maybe he'll bump me
up to $7.50 an hour.

Hardee-har-har.

A couple of cards here,
I see.

Just short of a full deck,

otherwise we wouldn't be
working for you.

I like when you're sassy.

We knew Chuck would go for Julia
the moment she walked in.

She's totally his type.

Long, dark hair, super skinny.

Angie, congratulations,
this is your day.

I think you know how proud
I am of you.

Happy graduation.

I have to go and make an
appearance at my nephew's.

Thank you so much
for coming.

And um... don't forget
that raise.

Right this way.

So did you actually get
your nephew anything?

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, Zulma did, picked out
a train or something.

Oh, that's thoughtful of you.

Wasn't it?

Yeah.

Why's Terri so pissed?

She called me last night

and said she wants
to get back together.

Oh, and what did you say?

I said yeah.

[laughs]

I told her I'm seeing somebody.

Why did you do that?

You're gonna make
my life miserable.

I didn't mention any names.

I know, it-

For a few weeks there
Chuck was definitely into me.

(Guest outside) Did you check
out that game last night?

Flyers almost did it.

They lost in overtime.

Call me later.

I can't stay up there
very long.

Well, they have a pill
for that now.

Oh, Julia Law, ladies
and gentlemen, give it up.

Yeah, I'll be here all week.

Unlike some people I don't have
a problem with staying power.

You're killing me.

You're killing me.

Ok, well can you go
before Terri comes in here

and kicks my ass, please?

She better not touch that ass.

Also, you are gorgeous.
You know that?

My god, you are so gorgeous.

Chuck went on local news

proclaiming he never laid
a hand on me,

which is not exactly true.

We had the perfect relationship.

I wanted to marry her.

I did.

So while everybody was obsessed
with the romance

between me and Chuck there were
other people the cops

should have interviewed.

Other people that had plenty
of reasons to want me dead.

Hey.

Hey, welcome back.

Uh, I'm headed out.

I just wanted to tell you
how great you look.

But then you always do.

That's not true,
but thank you.

I actually wanted to ask you,
um,

how's your grandma?

Uh, she's uh, yeah,
hospice is there now, so...

Oh my- I didn't realize it had
gotten that bad.

I'm so sorry, Paul.

She's pretty doped up
on morphine, so...

That sucks.

Yeah, other than that,
just trying to stay busy.

Yeah, Chuck said Schuster
got off

with a slap on the wrist,
which is amazing.

Yeah. He's pretty happy.

Mmmhmm. I bet.

How about you?

Are things good?

Uh, yeah.

I uh... I feel great.

Um, I'm just trying to be
healthy and I'm quitting smoking

and quitting midnight runs
to Daily Doughnuts.

Doughnuts? Yeah?

You know about that.

I do.

Unlike most guys
in this town,

Paul wasn't a player.

While he could come off

as a little dull
or plain vanilla.

When you got close to him
he was a really

nice, smart, sensitive guy.

It's like the methadone clinic.

For pets.

[laughing]

Hey, I'm really sorry that
things ended the way they did.

It's not your fault.

You know, all the stuff
that you said about,

you know, being messed up.

Everyone's got problems.

Everybody.

Not you.

I do.

I just think maybe...

maybe it's easier to work
through that stuff

when you're with somebody
who loves you.

Yeah, maybe.

Do you have plans
for your birthday?

Yeah, I'm gonna bury my head
in the sand

and pretend it's not happening.

You're 27, you're a baby.
You're a baby.

My mom invited me to come home
for it.

Wow. That's progress, right?

Woah.

Yeah, no, it's good. It is good.

I really wanna see
my little brother,

I haven't seen him in forever.

Lola posted this video
of him in this, like,

really cute penguin costume
and I've watched it

no less than 200 times.

Uh...

Fair enough.

Well, if you don't go and see
the adorable penguin,

can I buy you dinner?

I gotta fly to Chicago tomorrow
but I'm back Thursday.

I'll take you to Aria
for old time's sake.

Yeah. I would like that.

I missed you.

I missed you, too.

I did miss him.

The year Paul and I
were together

was probably the best year
of my life.

He was nice to me.

My family loved him.

He was smart and stable

and honestly, super boring.

Thank you for the ride.

Until Thursday.

Ignore all the sounds-

Yeah, don't worry.

I'm about to make.

[laughs]

Bye.

Everyone who knew him, though,

thought Paul was
a really good guy.

But what if he found out
I was sleeping with Chuck

before Chuck called him in to
tell him I was dead in his tub?

Could he have been the
quintessential nice guy

who suddenly snaps?

She was a friend and she was
a very good person.

That's all I'm gonna say
about it, alright?

I'm not comfortable talking
about somebody that's not here

to defend herself and frankly
I'm getting a little tired of

you guys following me around
asking me about it, ok?

Talking about it's not gonna
change what happened

and it's really tough
to move forward

and put things behind you
when you got somebody

sticking a camera in your face
asking you questions about it,

so have a little respect.

Alright? I'm sorry.

Excuse me.

Let me tell you something.

You wanna know the real reason

that they're gonna convene
the grand jury?

'Cause there's nobody out there
that believes that I killed her.

It's this Ratsinger, the D.A.,
otherwise known as "the rat",

fat prick, doing this just to
get back at me for all the times

I made him look like
an asshole in court,

and trust me, it's a lot.

So now you've got Ratsinger,
who's jerkin' off the cops

and the whole time
whoever did this?

They're free.

And you're talking to me now?

[laughs]

[gasps]

Oh my-

Hi.

Hi.

Here's the truth.

I liked Chuck but he was
way too old for me,

and Paul was a super nice guy
but he was kinda boring.

The true undisputed love of my
life was a guy totally unknown

to both Chuck and Paul.

A guy the cops found out about
but never interviewed.

His name was Neil,

and he broke my heart
about a million times.

[message alert]

Who are you texting?

Chuck, 'cause he asked me
to stay over.

I'm jealous.

Good.

You should be.

You know I hate leaving
you alone,

you know that, right?

What I knew was that Neil
was married with three kids

and I was in love with him.

I also knew there was no way
we were ever gonna be together,

not like normal people.

Ok, well, I'm gonna go be not
alone with Chuck

'cause he acts like he actually
wants to be around me.

Sound good?

Mmm.

I hate every minute
that we're apart,

you know that, right?

I just hate you.

That wasn't true
and we both knew it.

I just liked to hurt him
a little sometimes

the way he hurt me
without even trying.

What do you think? This one?

This guy?

A thong.

You're not going anywhere.

No, I'm going-

You're the one who
has to leave.

Funny.

We uh... we met at a bar.

She was complimenting me
on my old fashioned.

She's like "there's something
about a man

that drinks an old fashioned"
and I was like well, ok.

I'll take that.

And we just started to
uh, get into conversation.

It was- it felt like we had
known each other for so long,

it was just instant.

We just- we just clicked,
you know?

Um, and uh, she happened to be
going my way and I gave her

a ride home and we just kept
in touch from there.

It's hard not to wonder what if.

Maybe if things had been
different between me and Neil

and if I hadn't decided to go
to Chuck's

maybe what happened that night
never would have happened.

Hey.

Hey, how's it going?

It's good.

Um, I actually just wanted
to check and see if anyone

had handed in some,
like, Rayban aviators?

I'm not sure, but I can check
in the office for you.

Ok, that'd be great.

That sucks.

Yeah, I know.

I left brand a new Phillies hat
at the movies a few weeks ago,

I go back like five minutes
later to get it

and the cleaning crew guy is
like "I don't know, man,

I haven't seen it."

I go back the next day
the dude's wearing my hat.

That's insane!

Did you say anything to him?

Well, I...

You just let him keep it.

I think that was his scam.

Yeah, bummer.

I wonder how many hats
that guy has.

[laughs]
A lot.

Uh, you want?

Uh, sure. Why not?

That's nice looking stuff.

Are you celebrating?

Yeah. I just met you, so.

Oh, isn't that nice?

Cheers.

Cheers.

Uh, you live around here?

Just around the corner.
What about you?

Yeah, just moved
into the neighbourhood.

Oh yeah?

How are you finding it?

It's awesome.

It's good, right?

There's like a lot of good bars
and restaurants and stuff.

This is all we got.

Uh, yeah. That's not them.

Uh, ok, can I just give you
my phone number

and if they show up
you can just call me?

What guy in his right mind
would say no to that?

Do you remember when
you left them here?

Yeah, it was last night so I'm
guessing someone swiped them.

We'll make sure we look.

Sure you will.

If I come back and
you're wearing them,

I won't do anything about it,
but please don't.

Ok, nice seeing you.

Uh, woah.

Wait a minute.

Where are you going?

I don't even know your name.

I'm actually gonna go meet
somebody right now.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

Ok.

Sorry.

Thank you for the champagne,
that was really nice of you.

If you're keeping track at home
so far we have Chuck my boss,

Terri, his ex-girlfriend,
Paul my ex-boyfriend,

and Neil, my married lover.

Oh, and then there was
the creep who roofied me.

[water running]

That was a pretty crazy night,
right?

Uh, shower only, actually.

There's another bathroom
down the hall.

[sobbing]

If you've never been roofied,
and I hope to God you haven't,

it's the weirdest feeling
in the world.

I felt like I had died and been
dragged back to life by my hair.

Everything hurt.

I have to go home.

My phone's dead, I...
I don't have a car.

Oh, yeah, no.

Let me get you an Uber.

You can just get me back.

What's your address?

(News): And in weather,

It's a beautiful day
out there today.

A high of 92...

No, no, no!

[buzz]

How many times is this now?

Three?

In three months?

Yeah, I'm really sorry.

[phone ringing]

Hey.

Hi.

Are you ok?

No.

I think he took my keys.

Can you come over?

Jules, listen to me.

You gotta call the cops,
alright?

I can't call the cops.

Excuse me.

Who are you with?
What're you doing?

I'm- I'm just uh,
I'm at a lighting-

Can you just come over?

I don't understand why you can't
just come over.

I'm with my kids.

Can Angie come stay with you?

No, her family's in town.

How about Susan?

She's not talking to me.

What? Since when?

Since she yelled at me
and said she wasn't going

to be my enabler anymore.

I'm such a shit show.

Can you just say something?

Can you just tell me that you
love me or something?

Baby, I love you. I do.

And I wish I could be there
right now with you,

kissing you, holding you
in my arms

and making you feel good.

[message alert]

I can't believe this happened
to you.

Babe, I can't see you anymore.

Huh?

I can't see your beautiful face.

Did you pause me?

No.

I had been looking
on a recovery site

that offered support.

I posted on their forums
a few times.

But I wasn't very good
at reaching out.

This might sound weird
but sometimes I felt like

Amy was watching over me,
like God.

When I finally woke up
a full day later,

late for work,

I was pretty sure the painting
of Amy winking at me

was a hallucination,
compliments of the roofie

and the wine I downed
to fall asleep.

Well, hello.

What?

You, Paul, Saturday?

I knew you were gonna say that
and that's not-

Ladies. This needs to get
filed today on the Diaz case.

Oh, ok.

I just have to finish
another pleading for Chuck

then I'll do it.

Did I get it?

Yeah?

Oh, hey.

We're all going to Retro.

After work, ok?

Oh, hey.

The Peruto party train
was a fun ride.

It was hard not to jump on.

But I barely slept three hours
at a stretch.

I was struggling to keep up.

This girl was- person,
excuse me, ladies-

uh, a physical specimen,

an Olympic athlete, a
triathlete, whatever.

And it seemed to me I could
admire that if it was on the top

of Mount Olympus, but at the
downtown Y it just seemed...

The Y?

What?

Nothing. Just the Y, yeah.

Chuck can't handle strong women
is what he's trying to say.

Maybe I just like something
more real.

That is why he spent six months
trying to convince me

to get a boob job.

You must be talking
about somebody else.

Real Chuck? I mean, we all know
you can't handle real.

Hey, babe.

What's the matter?

I feel like I'm having
a heart attack.

You want me to take you
to the hospital?

I can't breathe, though.

I feel like-- I think I might
pass out.

Well, you want me to take you
home or what?

Mmmhmm. This is a- this is
a panic attack!

I've had them before,
this is really bad.

Ok.

You'll be alright,
just breathe.

Can we go get a drink?

Look, what that guy did was sick
and illegal,

and you should call the cops-

No, I don't want to talk
to the cops.

I have enough going on
in my head

without a guilt trip from you.

Please.

I'm not trying
to guilt trip you.

I don't have anything
to tell the cops.

If I go to them I don't know
this dude's name,

I don't know anything about him,

so if I go all we're gonna have
to talk about is me

and I don't particularly
want my life

under a microscope right now.

I understand.

No, you don't.

I know you want to but you
really don't understand.

Okay, when I woke up this
morning, my phone was dead

so he called me a car which
means he knows where I live

and he has my keys.

Maybe the cops could trace-

No, I'm not gonna talk
to the cops, ok?!

Alright, um... I'm sorry.

Um...

No, I'm sorry.

You've been through a lot.

We'll get you a room.

You can relax, have a hot bath.

You'll feel better.

Sometimes Neil could be
so good to me.

Ok.

Whether he was good for me
is another question.

Yeah, hi.

Yeah, my name is Neil,
I'm a friend of Julia Law's,

she's a tenant in your building.

Apparently, somebody has the
keys to her place

and we'd like to get
the locks changed.

Wondering if you could
help us out.

Yeah, yeah.

As soon as possible, actually.

Look, I know you got a whole
building to manage

and that new locks
are expensive but--

It's not going to cost anything
so what's the problem?

No, no, I get it, I get it,
but how about this?

How about I send in
my locksmith,

he'll change the locks, no cost
to you and give you the master?

Neil was a really good daddy.

He knew how to take charge
and make everything better.

Yeah, no, she'll rest easier
that way.

Yeah.

Great.

Great, thank you,
thank you very much.

Done.

Yeah?

The locksmith will be
at your place

first thing in the morning.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I do appreciate it.

I'm sorry that you had to do
all of this. It's just--

Sorry? What do you got to be
sorry about?

I don't know, it's just
not your problem

Hey, hey.

I like doing things for you.

Yeah?

Yes, I do.

Now, what else can I do for you?

I don't know.

I was doing so good.

I was tapering my drinking

and now I've had all this
friggin' vodka and wine

and I still can't calm down.

Hey, hey.

I think I know how
to make you relax.

[giggles]

Ok.

You should probably
take this off.

I think I'm a little
overdressed.

I think so.

You wear it.

Me?

Yeah. It's sexy.

No. ooh. On a leash...

I wish you could
just hold me forever.

I wish that was your job,
was just to,

like, hold me like this.

You're the only person
who really loves me.

Oh come on now, we both know
that's not true.

It is true.

Everyone who's ever loved me
has left me.

Ok, that sounds melodramatic,
but it's kinda true.

My nana and grandpa,
my dog Snuffy.

I just wanna stay here.

[phone ringing]

[groans]

I'm sorry.

It's ok.

Hey.

Aw, hi baby girl.

You getting ready to go
to sleep?

Yeah?

Alright, big kiss.

Ready for the squeeze?

Arrrr.

[laughs]

Alright, baby,
alright goodnight, sweetie.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm still here
stuck with a client.

How's it going there?

Well, maybe we can talk
to her together tomorrow.

I should be able to get out
of here within the hour.

Yeah, see you soon.

So am I your client?

[laughs]

You are my boss.

Oh.

In that case, you can't go
otherwise you're fired.

I have to.

Do you think you could just stay
with me until I fall asleep?

Trust me, I would love to
but I gotta go.

Your wife yanks on your leash
and then you have to leave?

Don't.

I'm not your boss,
she's your boss.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Yeah.

Hey, come on.

Don't be like that, alright?

I'll call you tomorrow.

Wait.

(whispers) I'll make it up
to you, I promise.

Yeah, we uh, talked about me
leaving my wife.

Julia told me not to.

She said her life got really
messed up when her father left

and so she didn't want
that to happen to my kids.

That's just how she was.

She had her problems but...
she had a huge heart.

I always hated sleeping alone.

Sometimes I'd wake up
in the middle of the night

unable to move and
I'd be so frightened.

I'd see things
and I'd hear things

that were so incredibly vivid.

I was never sure what was real
and what was a dream.

I was caught in a vicious cycle.

I'd drink to fall asleep
then have nightmares

because of the booze
that were so real,

it sent me right back
to drinking.

Ok.

Oh!

You're all set.

Ok, thank you.

Oh my god!

dammit!

Hey, Angie, I gotta
run to court.

Can you cover for me?

Spencer was looking for you!

No, I know, it's just I made
this huge mistake

and I don't wanna lose
my job over this.

I'm sorry.

Ok.

You can just change
the numbers on the stamp

to yesterday's date.

I won't tell anybody.
Come on, dude.

I've had people do this
for me before.

I have come to this office and
they have literally done this

for me before.

I've got a line of people, ok?

If you want to file it, we can
stamp it with today's date.

Please, come on!

I just need this one...
what is this for you?

Is this like a tiny little slap
on the wrist or something?

Just like stamp this.

Ok, fine. Stamp it with...

Amazing. You're incredible.

You're a spectacle.

Thank you so much.

Have a great day.

Yeah, thank you.

Julia?

Oh, Brooke.

Hi.

Hi.

God, I was just thinking
about you.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I heard you're working
for Chuck Peruto.

Yeah.

Yeah, I went to law school
with Chuck.

He's great, as long as you're
not on the opposing side.

Yeah.

Totally.

Um, so how are you?

God.

Really busy, my little guy's
in preschool,

you know, walking, talking,
super chatty just like his mom.

That's amazing.

God, it's great to see you.

We should grab a coffee.

Yeah, I'd love that.
That would b fun.

Yeah, and listen,

if you need a recommendation
for law school or anything-

Oh, that's so nice of you.

I'm not being nice.

You were the best intern
I ever had.

Chuck is lucky to have
snagged you.

So will you call me?

I will, I will definitely
call you.

I'm so glad that I ran into you.

Yeah, we'll talk to you soon.

Great, I'll call you, ok?

Ok.

Running into Brooke
on the street

shook something loose in me.

When I was interning for her,

helping others through my work
seemed possible.

I wanted that feeling again.

Online, I read up on how
to taper off on drinking.

and made a list of supplements
and teas to help me sleep.

I was determined
to clean up my act.

$93.78.

But for some of us, as much
as we want that good life,

as much as we reach out for it
and almost hold it in our hands,

somehow we always
come up empty.

I think someone stole
my wallet.

Don't worry about it.

Just take the yogurt.

We've all been there.

Like...

Don't worry.

Thank you.

I'll- I'll get you
on the next one.

No worries.

Thanks.

(Bank Rep): We'll send that
new card right out to you.

In the meantime I'd just like
to verify some recent purchases

at Thrifty Liquor.

We show $36.90 on the 7th,
$42.12 on the 8th.

Wait, ok.

What- where was
the one on the 8th?

Uh, the 8th was also
at Thrifty.

Andrews, really...

Ok, I gotta call you back.

He looks like a clown.

He looks like a circus clown.

What's going on?

Anyway, never beat me
on one count, never will again.

And the winner is... Boom!

My guy got acquitted by the jury

and he should have been indicted
for manslaughter at least.

Great.

Hey, wait.

Uh, congratulations.

I want to ask you
about something.

Oh, please do.

I'm having difficulties with--

Look at you. You're so happy.

Ok, relax-

Good day.

You're having a good day.

It's gonna get better.
It's about to get better.

Ok, so did you actually want
to talk to me, or did you?

Yes. Your lips taste like honey.

I know you've been
told that before.

Is that true?

Constantly.

There's a whole
blog dedicated to it.

Ok, enough!

We can't do this in here!

[laughs]
Stop!

They're gonna hear us
out there.

You have to stop.

Come on.

What?

Ok.

Hey, hey.

We can't do this here.

Come on.

We can do anything we want.

What if someone walks in?

I also don't want everyone
here thinking of me like this.

Please.

My house, ten minutes.

Yes. Ok.

I'll leave after you.

Ok.

Don't keep me waiting.

Whew.

My sister didn't love Chuck.

I mean, she liked his lifestyle
and she liked the attention

but down deep she knew
he was no good for her.

She just couldn't end it.

You know, I'm gonna be 27
on Monday.

What?

Yeah.

Why didn't you tell me that?

Oh, am I supposed to put it
in your calendar?

Abso-freaking-lutely.

We gotta celebrate.

I'm gonna fly you down
after my party to Miami.

Yeah, I can't come
to your party.

What're you talking about?

What do you mean you can't come
to my party?

It's not even a question
that you're coming to my party.

Ok?

You don't come, you're fired.

I mean...

Oh my god.

Seriously, why can't you come
to my party?

I have to go spend my birthday
with my family.

I haven't seen them in
forever and my brother's
making me a cake,

I don't want to disappoint him.

Wait...

They live in Absecon, right?

Yes.

Ok, so uh, you go celebrate
with your family

and I'll send a car out you can
come down to Margate.

How easy was that?

You'd do that?

It's already done.

You want me there that badly?

It's not a party
without the party girl.

Oh my god.

Who're you texting?

Hi.

Hi.

I was just gonna call you.

Are you coming in
Friday or Saturday?

'Cause I can pick you up
at the station if you want.

Yeah. That's why I called,
because um...

Oh my god, do not tell me
you're bailing.

Will you relax, I'm not bailing.

Thank god, because
I'd have to kill you.

You know Max has blown up
like 1,000 balloons already.

Ok, it's just Chuck is giving me
like a lot of flack

for not coming to his party.

Why is Chuck giving you flack?

Are you his caterer now?

It's not like that.

It's not like what?

Ok, just like don't freak out
but um...

What?

We've kind of started
seeing each other.

Ok, that's a joke right?

Oh my god, you don't even
know him!

You could have Paul.

Paul is like the kind of guy

that woman will
just like kill for.

Why would you want to trade him
in for the Cult of Chucky?

I didn't ask for him to for him
to like fall in love with me,

but it's-

Oh my god.

He said he's in love with you?

Seriously?

Don't tell mom either!

I'm going to handle it!

Just don't say anything to mom.

Fine.

Are you gonna tell Max
that you're not coming?

I didn't say I wasn't coming!

This is unbelievable!
You're unbelievable!

Ok. Thanks for nothing!

I don't know why I bother
with you.

So are you coming?

Yes, I'm coming! Goodbye!

I can go to family functions
and remember them.

And have a good time, but
it wasn't always like that.

You know, my dad would
piss me off and I'd be like oh,

I'll show you.

My mom would yell at me, boom.

Drink.

F you, mom, Right?

So I was drinking at people
for years,

trying to feel better,
which really means feel less,

and it didn't matter
what it was.

Booze, drugs, sex, food.

It's all the same thing.

My addict will literally
try anything

to fill this gaping hole
inside of me

and she won't stop
until I'm dead.

I thought it was good, yeah.

Yeah, I know.

Hi, I'm sorry, I don't mean
to interrupt.

Hi, by the way,
It's nice to see you.

Good to see you.

It's been a really long time.

Um, I just wanted to say
like that was really helpful,

your share, it was super
relatable and it's-

it's been a really crazy period
for me right now

because like
I've been drinking

just to fall asleep and if I try
to stop I start having

these really terrible
panic attacks and I feel like-

(crying) I feel like I'm gonna
have a heart attack,

like I feel like my heart is
just beating through my chest

and I've been trying all these
different things and it's-

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's just really hard to stay
on top of it I think,

because it just feels like
I'm drowning and I've been

trying to taper and I've just
been tapering

and it's just not working

and I just don't know how
to actually stop.

Ok, look.

Um, let me just say that for me
tapering didn't work.

We're alcoholics, right?

When were we ever content
with just one?

Yeah.

I just went cold turkey
with a ton of support.

Yeah.

Support is huge.

I also had to do a huge
clean out of my place.

Oh, yeah.

You've gotta get all
the toxic substances-

And people.

Out of reach and
out of your life.

Which, in my case, included
my ex-husband.

Yes, it did.

Hey, listen.

Um, take a phone list, ok?

Use it.

The main thing is keep
coming back.

Don't isolate.

That's when bad things happen.

Can I start you off
with a drink from the bar?

I'll get a Manhattan
with a twist of lime

and a Sauvignon Blanc, please,
glass.

My pleasure.

Wait. Did you just order me
a glass of wine?

I did.

[message alert]

I can cancel it.

I'm so sick of hearing
about Chuck's party!

I should just break up with him
and get back together with Paul.

Chuck is a bit of a dick but
he could give you a big life.

What are you talking about?

Chuck is so obviously
bad for me.

Well, you were always
complaining about how Paul,

all he does is hang out
in his underwear

and play video games.

Chuck's an egomaniac.

He's been with like millions
of women.

I just don't understand
why you're not telling me

to break up with him.

Because you're an intelligent
adult woman

who I believe deserves
the dignity

to make her own decisions.

I mean, is Paul right for you?

Yeah.

Probably, yeah.

But you're always saying

how there's no snap,
crackle, pop.

Maybe that's not the most
important thing.

Maybe that's not everything.

Alright, well, do
whatever you want.

I mean, I don't even know why

you're even torturing yourself
to make a decision.

It's not like you're exactly
a one-guy woman.

What?

Three or four guys is about
right for the proper care

and feeding of you.

You're gonna judge me?

I'm kidding.

Wow, dude.

Pot, kettle black, big time.

Come on, I was just joking.

Chill.

Don't tell me to chill.

You know the one way to not
get people to chill

is to tell them to chill!

Alright.

You know, I was doing really
well when I was with Paul.

I completely stopped
all of my purging.

And started binge drinking.

Yeah, because he broke up
with me!

You're just always trying
to sabotage my sobriety.

You can't handle it.

You can't stand the thought
of me being sober

because it would mean-

What are you talking about?

Because you only ever
take me out to drink.

We only ever go to bars.

And when I told you

I was gonna start tapering
my drinking did you support me?

No. You just kept ordering me
more alcohol.

You never, ever stopped
to be like oh,

maybe you shouldn't have

that third, fourth, fifth,
sixth, seventh, eighth-

You don't even drink that much.

Yes, I do!

You don't know!

You don't know what I do!

I see you for like one hour
out of every week!

I'm drunk like almost
all the time!

And if I'm not I'm miserable.

It's not the alcohol that's
the problem here, Jules.

It's what's causing you to drink
that's the problem.

That's why I keep telling you
to talk to a therapist

to figure out why you binge
and purge and drink.

No, no, no.

You know what it is?

It's that if I get sober
you're scared I won't be

with you anymore.

And you're right.

If I was sober I wouldn't
be with you.

I wouldn't be with any of you.

Wait, where are you going?

Are you serious right now?

[honk]

Julia!

Come on, I'm sorry.

Get in the car,
let me take you home.

No.

Come on. What do you mean,
no?

Just get in the car.

Go away! I'm not getting
in the car!

I'm not gonna let you
walk home.

God.

Go!

Text me you got home safe.

Fine!

I hate you!

I was more determined than ever
to stop drinking.

I made an appointment
with my shrink to get help.

If you'd been taking in as much
alcohol as I had,

and then you suddenly stop,

you're at risk for some pretty
horrific symptoms,

including high blood pressure,
fever, confusion,

even hallucinations
and seizures.

[message alert]

I'm sorry.

That's ok.

You want to tell me
about the purging?

No, that's actually good.

That's the one thing that's good
at the moment, so...

Ok.

How about the drinking?

How much and how often?

It's a lot.

Like a bottle and a half, two
bottles a night at the moment.

An inpatient program,

is that an option for you?

Yeah, I just don't have
insurance right now

so I can't afford it.

But I did actually want
to talk to you about-

I read that um, like benzos
and valium can help

with withdrawal and-
and stuff, so...

Well, benzos can help, yes,

but they can obviously
be addictive.

No, I know.

And I'm totally aware of that.

Uh, I just- I do want to try
going cold turkey this weekend

and I just want to be safe.

It just feels like the best
option for me.

Detoxing from alcohol
is not something

that you should be attempting
on your own.

Do you understand?

Sure.

Um, and I have someone
who will stay with me

if I ask him to, I just have
to call him.

There you go.

[message alert]

Hey.

Nice to see you again,
Darren Jones.

Remember me?

Yeah, I'm the girl that you
roofied on Saturday.

Remember?

Give me my card.

I would never have gone
home with you

if you hadn't drugged me!

Well, she's obviously crazy.

Yeah, I'm crazy
'cause you raped me!

Last Saturday this guy,
Darren Jones, raped me!

Oh, where are you off to,
Darren?

You forgot your card.

Darren Jones, everybody.

Yeah, run, Darren!

Run!

(replay) I would never have gone
home with you if-

Look at his face.

Oh my god,
look at his face!

[laughs]

You know, I got some people
in the Philly PD.

You wouldn't even have to go
up to the station.

Uh-uh, dude.

I am putting this all over
YouTube.

I am gonna nail this scumbag
to the wall.

I'm going to ruin your life.

Are you sure you're ok?

Look at him.

Yeah, I'm great.

I feel amazing.

Do you want me to come up
with you?

Make sure you feel safe?

Yeah, I do.

[laughing]

Gotcha.

Ok, I have to be serious
for one second.

Uh-oh.

I am gonna quit drinking.

Ok.

Will you help me?

Of course.

You know I got you.

Will you spend the weekend
with me?

I would love nothing-

Yes, I will spend the weekend
with you.

More than to spend the weekend
with you but I-

Look, I got a prescription
for valium from my shrink

but she said it's not safe
to detox alone.

Ok, but can we- can we wait
until next weekend?

But it's my birthday this week.

Yeah, I know.

It's just that my in-laws are
coming to town

and it's Jaelyn's little league
game on Saturday.

But I mean next weekend
I'm free

and I could just tell Grace
that, you know,

I got stuff to do.

Sure.

Don't.

Don't what?

Don't look at me like that.

Look, I'll be here for you
next weekend.

I promise I'll be here
without fail.

After Neil left I couldn't
fall asleep.

I just kept having this feeling
of impending doom.

I decided I couldn't afford
to wait.

I was in a plane
that was going down

and I needed to put on
my own oxygen mask.

I decided I wasn't going
to go home to see my family,

I wasn't going to go to Chuck's
party and drink myself blind,

I was gonna hunker down at my
place and detox from alcohol.

Hello people!
Day 1: cold turkey.

I took my pill
and feeling great.

I dumped my stash and I'm
working on a list of things

I wanna do to stay busy.

For the first time in years

I actually feel the tiniest
bud of hope.

I am going to change my life.

After starting my detox I was
so excited I was up all night.

I texted Neil to meet me
at the Rocky steps.

I was feeling great.

Woohoo!

Look at me go!

You did it.

I know.

I have just been thinking
about the 27 club and,

like, all the people who died
when they were 27, right?

Like Janis Joplin,
Amy Winehouse,

Kurt Cobain- Jimi Hendrix.

Jimi Hendrix.

Yeah.

And just like all the amazing
stuff that they had done

when they were 27 and then they
died and I was like oh my god,

if I die at 27 I'm not gonna be
in that club.

There's like no reason I would
ever be in that club.

I haven't done anything.

And normally that thought
would like really freak me out,

like I would be like oh my god,

I'm not living up
to my potential

I've just been like
waiting around,

am I like fulfilled?

Am I happy?

Like all these different
questions, right?

Mmmhmm.

But like I don't feel
like that anymore.

Like I just don't
feel like that.

I feel really good.

Good.

I feel amazing.

And I think the problem is, is
like we're constantly waiting,

like oh, I'll start living
my life once I'm skinny,

once I'm rich, once I'm married,
once I'm whatever.

Yeah.

And you can't.

You can't just wait
for any of that stuff.

You have to just start doing it.

So last night I wrote
this bucket list

and I'm gonna do all of it.

I'm gonna do all of it this year

and you just helped me
with number 67.

Rocky steps.

This was- this was 67?

Uh-huh.

What about 69?

G-g-good one.

Can I help you with that one?

Sure.

Yeah?

Yeah, no, 69 is um, actually...

uh, make a meal with my mother.

That's 69?

That's number 69.

I don't know, I think we can
do better.

Hi.

Hi.

Ooh, I like those earrings.

Thank you, I just got them,
actually.

They were like 30 percent off.
Yeah.

They look expensive.

You're at work,
obviously, right?

I am at work, uh-huh.

Um...

What're you doing?

Eating?

No, I just have coffee,
that's all.

Ok.

Um, uh, hey.

There's like a lot of stuff
this weekend

that I have to reschedule
some things, so-

Oh my god, I can't believe
you're not coming.

That's not what I said.

I can't believe I defended you.

What?

Mom said that you'd pick him
over us and I said no, mom-

Wait, wait, wait, Lola!

Did you tell mom about Chuck?

Yeah, I told her.

What the- I specifically
asked you not to!

I said that I would take care
of it!

Yeah, well you're obviously
not taking care of it.

I mean, you didn't
even call her,

I called you.

Is that your sister?

Yeah, mom. She's not
coming at all

Don't listen to her, mom.

Hi mom.

That's not what I said.

That's not what I said.

What would you like me
to tell your brother?

I didn't say I wasn't
gonna come!

I just can't stay
the entire weekend.

[phone ringing]

You decide and we'll arrange
the day around that.

It's your birthday, Julia.

Well, I have to go, we can argue
about this later.

Whatever.

You better call Max.

Hey.

Did you actually file
the pleadings

for the Diaz case?

(Julia): I tried to hold it
together but things were
unravelling.

Ok, calm down.

I'm sure that they're
here somewhere.

Substandard?

I work my ass off
all the time!

I'm const-

You know what?

Actually, it is- it is- I-

I've never seen her like that.

She was crying in the washroom
saying that everybody

was mad at her.

Luckily Paul was there.

[sobbing]

Jules, hey.

Oh my god.

What's going on?

Hey, no, no, no.

I'm sorry.

What's going on?

It's alright, sorry for what?

Hey, look at me.

Everything is just a mess.

I wanted to tell him everything
but I was afraid he'd hate me.

Hey.

What's going on?

Go ahead, slut shame me
but he was my rock in a storm

and I clung to him.

It's too cheesy to call her
a delicate flower

or something like that
but I think-

I do think that she brought,

I don't know, there was
a fragrance about her,

if that's not too girly.

When she walked into a room
everyone saw it.

It wasn't just me, I was just
lucky for that time to have it.

I don't know what else to say.

It's not for me to say, anyway.

But don't talk badly about her.

She's human and trying like
we all are.

Let's leave it at that.

After apologizing
about the file,

I had promised Chuck I'd go
with him to the Philly party.

You sure you don't want me
to add a shot of vodka to that?

No, I'm sure.

Not to be confused with Chuck's
Memorial Day beach bash.

Anyway, it was the last place
I wanted to be

But I convinced myself I'd go

and actually break it off with
Chuck as part of cleaning house.

Hey, stop talking to them.
Talk to me.

I am bored out of my mind.

Oh my god, Chuck Peruto.

Grace.

How are ya?

Good to see you.

Good to see you.

I don't think you guys
have met before.

This is my husband, Neil.

Finally.

Oh right.

Chuck and I served together
on Hope for the Holidays.

Good to meet you.

You work for Larry Glinkowsky,
right?

Yeah.

Larry and I go way,
way, way, way, way back.

Ok, ok.

Yeah, good guy.

Yeah.

Oh, god. I saw Arnie Milliken
the other day.

Cheap Suit Milliken.

Can I please take you upstairs
and ravage you right now?

Hey, what's wrong?

I'm tired of this.

I don't wanna do this anymore.

I'm sick of being
in a relationship

with Don frikken' Draper.

I've never loved any other woman
the way I love you.

Awesome.

Where does that leave me?

Huh?

You're always saying
that you love me,

you love me more than anything,
that I'm the person

that you want to be with,
but you could be with me.

You could be with me really
easily if you wanted to be.

But you're not.

I get you for like three hours
out of the week

if I'm really lucky.

Seriously?

Congrats.

You're the worst.

Don't say that.

You didn't even introduce me.

Neither of you did.

You just acted like
I wasn't there.

Maybe I should go and introduce
myself to your lovely wife.

Woah, woah, woah.

No?

No.

You think that you can have
whatever you want.

Just be however
you wanna be.

You can't.

If my life is gonna be hell,
yours is gonna be hell, too.

Yeah? What does that mean?

You'll see.

As I watched Neil's wife walk
toward me I thought about

how I could blow up her
perfect world in an instant.

I knew exactly where I was.

We were driving home
from a restaurant.

My parents were in town
so they had the kids.

The news was on.

Someone was talking about the
girl in Chuck Peruto's bathtub.

Everyone in Philly
was talking about it.

I asked Neil a question
and he didn't answer,

and when I looked over at him
he was crying.

Sobbing, actually.

He had to pull over

and f... finally he said to me
"I need to tell you something"

[sobbing]
...and

When he said that I knew.

Apparently it had been going on
for years

and I had absolutely no idea.

Hey.

Hey.

Are you keeping secrets from me?

What're you talking about?

Well, Paul thinks you're
spending your birthday with him.

I'm not-

Who's- I'm not- oh my god,

I don't wanna have this fight
with you.

This is stupid.

You and I want different things.

Well, until this morning

I thought we wanted
the same thing.

I want you and
from what you tell me,

and from how you act when
we're alone, you want me.

Tell me the truth.

Are you two back together
or not?

Because last I heard
you weren't even speaking.

Ok, I'm not with him,

I'm not getting back together
with him,

I'm not sleeping with him

and I'm not spending my birthday
with him, ok?

Believe me or don't,
I don't really care.

Tell me- tell me what is it
that you want

that you think I don't I want.

You want a list?

Yes, I do.

Ok, here's a list of things
that you don't want that I do.

I want to have kids. I want
to have three kids.

I want to be in a healthy
relationship with a
functioning person.

So why is that different
from what I want?

Because it's exactly why
you broke up with Terri!

No, I broke up with Terri
because she's nuts.

I don't wanna have babies
with someone who's nuts, ok?

You wanna have kids?

I'll have kids
with you tomorrow.

Don't joke about that, please.
That's so unfair.

I'm not joking.

What do you want me to do

to show you how crazy I am
for you?

What?

Or how perfect I think you are.

Don't say that.

You wanna get married?
Let's get married.

I mean it. I'd go to the moon
with you.

Ok, I'm- I can't stand people
talking about

how perfect I am all the time.

I'm not perfect, I'm flawed, ok?

Ok, good. I like your flaws.

You with flaws is ten times
better than the next girl.

Come here. Come here.

Chuck, there's-

So what?

I don't care who sees.

I don't.

Stop it.

I don't want to stop.

What is going on?

Oh, god!

Don't cause a scene here.

Don't cause a scene-

You lying asshole!

Telling me there's
nothing going on!

Terri!

Acting like I'm crazy!

I was living dangerously.

I am not crazy!

I will kick your ass!

Don't you even look at me!
I am coming for you!

I knew better than to get
on the wrong side of Terri.

Terri let's go!

Chuckie Peruto doesn't
get married to anyone.

I don't think she knew
what the hell she was doing.

You're shaking like a leaf.

Take the friggen' drink.

Come on.

You know all that stuff you said
about me being perfect?

Well, I'm not.

There's just so much about me
that you don't know.

I know enough.

You don't.

You really don't.

I know that you're anorexic.

I'm not anorexic!

Bulimic, whatever.

You're a puker.

Jesus, did somebody
tell you that?

You wouldn't be the first girl
that's used that as a diet.

Did you know that I've been
to rehab not just for ED

but alcohol as well?

And you think this is
gonna scare me away?

That I'm gonna go running?

When I said you're perfect

I meant you were perfect
for me, ok?

You don't wanna drink,
we don't drink.

You think I need drinking
to be fun?

[glasses smash]

I'm fun.

I've helped a lot
of girls get sober.

Even Gia, for a bit.

Gia the model?

Trust me.

A.A., N.A., fill-in-the-blank A.

I've been through all of it
multiple times.

I told you about my brother,
right?

No, I didn't even know
you had a brother.

Kid brother, Joey.

He was an addict.

Pill head.

Quaaludes, mostly.

I sent him to rehab and uh,
after a while

he seemed to be getting better
and got out,

but then I don't hear from him
for a few weeks.

He stopped returning my calls,
so I went to his apartment

and I found him, face down
on the floor in the bathroom

covered in his own vomit.

And that was on me
because I didn't see the signs.

I uh... I was too late.

That's not your fault.

It's not, because you get
really, really good

at hiding it.

Make sure you don't see it,
make sure no one at work sees,

make sure no one
in my family sees it

and it's just so exhausting.

Everything you like about me

and everything you know
about me is

just based on nothing, like I'm-
I feel like I'm nothing

and if you really knew who I
was, if you knew the real me,

you wouldn't love me.

None of what you just told me,
none of it,

changes anything, ok?

Because I've never felt so much
so fast for somebody.

Nobody, ok?

You got it?

You want to get off the sauce,
fine.

I'll help you get off the sauce.

Is that a deal?

Yeah.

We- we put her through
this program,

a rehab program, and she did
so well, you know?

She was strong and she was
smiling again and she was eating

and- and she- she, you know,
she looked good.

She was such a sweet,
sensitive girl.

Yeah, uh, make sure the Bayside
condo is aired out.

Put on the ceiling fans and um,
you know, open the windows.

Yeah.

I leave in a few minutes.

Alright, thanks.

Alright, gorgeous.

Keys to the manor.

I want you to eat.

Relax.

Oh, that tub,
imported from Italy,

it cost me ten grand.

I've never been in it.

Get naked, get in it,
and think of me.

I have a big special surprise
for you when you come

to the beach.

Oh yeah?

Do you have any, uh, jewellery
on this- ah.

Empty.

That's not funny.

I'm not trying to be funny.

Stop.

Hey.

Look at this face.

I wanna know what you're gonna
do for the next 30 years.

I'm serious.

No you're not.

Oh yeah, I am.

Really?

Oh yeah. You're smiling.

See? I can still surprise you.

Don't worry about your mom,
by the way.

All the ladies hate me.

Until they meet me.

Then they love my ass.

You know what?

I'm gonna send a Hummer limo
to your house.

Bring the whole family,
bring them to my party.

Are you kidding me?
It's got a hot tub in it.

One glass of champagne, that's
for the toast to celebrate.

And then it's Martinelli's

the whole rest of the night, ok?

Mmmhmm.

Ok?

Ok.

Alright.

Ok.

Oh, also, by the way,
if you bail on me

they are gonna need to use your
dental records to identify you.

[laughs]

Ok!

I promise.

That was a little
after 11:00 pm.

Well, he says he left
around 11:00

but I have a friend who says
that they know someone

who definitely heard them
fighting after midnight.

You know, I don't wanna
have this conversation.

You're not going anywhere.

[arguing]

Hey!

[thud]

How about this?

Chuck heads for Margate
and suddenly on his way there

he realizes he's
forgotten something.

The gossips imagined all kinds
of crazy scenarios.

Chuck walking in on me
and Paul, me and Angie.

Some even had us hooking up
in a menage-a-trois

with Chuck coming in for that
shirt at an inopportune moment.

Some people thought Chuck
was definitely guilty

but they didn't believe that he
actually did the deed himself.

They speculated that he probably
called in a favour

and had one of his goombah
clients snuff me out.

Some people suggested
I had a secret lover.

[screams]

Fans of presumed innocent
had a different theory.

They imagine Neil's wife
tracked me down

and bashed my head in

after she discovered that
I had been having an affair

with her husband.

I suppose there would have been
some poetic justice in that.

But the night I died

I didn't see her or Paul
or Angie or Terri

or even Darren Jones,
the guy who roofied me.

The night I died
I had no bruises,

cuts, or contusions.

There was no blood on the floor.

None of those theories are true.

The night I died Chuck was
80 miles away in Avalon,
New Jersey,

at a bar with about
100 alibi witnesses

while Neil was at home
watching his kids.

I was at Chucks, alone.

Now, this is where things
get murky,

because from this point
until approximately 10:00 am

when Zulma found me dead
in the tub,

not one of the people
the police interviewed

admitted to seeing me.

From forensics reports and texts
I sent police know

that the night I died I made
and ate a healthy salad.

I watched 8 Mile,

the Home Shopping Network,
a nature special,

a horror movie and some
girl-on-girl prison porn.

The thing about text messages,
though,

is police can pinpoint where
the person who's texting is

based on which cell tower
gets pinged.

The night I died I did
a lot of texting.

I think everybody knows
who she was talking to,

what she was doing,
everyone except me, so...

I could be a schmuck
but I know who he is.

I thought they were friends.

I didn't know that anything else
was going on.

It was before me and I-
apparently during.

So what?

Bathtub murders are really hard
to prove,

especially if someone was
drugged or had been drinking,

and according to the coroner's
report the night I died

I had a mix of Xanax, Klonopin,
Valium, Vyvanse and Lexapro

in my bloodstream and I had
consumed somewhere

between ten and twelve shots
of hard liquor,

which means despite all of my
best efforts to go cold turkey

the last night of my life

I got seriously hammered.

I was never with anyone
like her.

Ever.

There's been other women,
why not?

I was never, ever with anyone
like her.

I wanna be very clear
about that.

The one thing that people
don't know about Julia

is that she was really funny.

Hello, my name is... le bouquet.

Oh, bonjour monsieur le bouquet.

Comment ca va?

I actually don't speak French.

I mean, this woman,
she popped.

I mean, she just...

she was- she was like a
little stick of dynamite.

I tried everything I could
to calm down.

Nothing helped.

I wish she would have told me
how much pain

she was going through.

She was an amazing woman.

I would have done anything
for her.

Uh, so I did the Amy Winehouse
look that I found online.

Um, it's kind of a little bit,
like, festive I guess.

Oh my god, I can't believe
how much I'm sweating.

One shot.

I took this ten days
before she died.

I told her if she didn't
feel safe detoxing on her own

to wait a week
until I was available.

But Julia said
she couldn't wait.

That next week
would be too late.

I was doing a pretty good job
keeping myself distracted

and things were going well.

But remember how I mentioned
the horrific side effects

you can experience when
you try to stop drinking.

[hallucinating] What a stupid
plan, detoxing alone.

I started to hallucinate.

You're such an idiot.

Really good idea. You're going
to give yourself a stroke!

[vomits]

If they care, why aren't
they here.

There are demons in the walls,
watching you.

They hate you.

They hate you.

Everybody hates you.

Nobody cares about you.

They don't love you.

They just say that so they can
sleep with you.

Because they feel sorry for you.

Everybody hates you.

You're fat and ugly.

Look at your pores.

Look at yourself.
Look at your pores.

Pour another glass.

You're a poor girl.

You poor girl.

Poor girl.

[screams]

[various voices resonating]

Nobody loves you.

Nobody cares about you.

You're going to die.

[voices continue to resonate]

Who's ready to party?

You are.

I know.

Whoop.

At meetings they always say
it's important not to isolate.

The night I died I left
15 voicemail messages.

It's Jules from-

Sent 82 texts,
and uploaded four videos.

And welcome to my cooking show.

It is carrots today.

This is Julia Law- oh, hahaha.

So much for my anonymity.

Can you call me back?

It works if you work it,
and you're worth it, right?

Hey, Paul.

Hello?

Hey Siri, what's
the meaning of life?

I sent messages
to Chuck, Neil,

Paul, Angie, and while they
all texted at various times

throughout the night,
nobody came.

But for all my attempts
at reaching out

only one call was answered.

Hello?

Devon?

Who is this?

It's Jules. From rehab.

Oh my god, hi!

How are you?

I'm- I'm ok, I just was like-

I was just thinking about you
and wondering how you were.

Oh, that's so nice.

Um, well, as a matter of fact,
I'm on my way to my honeymoon.

Really?

Crazy, right?

We got married today.

Wow.

So is the guy you're marrying
an addict as well?

Um, it's a girl actually,
and um, nope.

She's totally sober.

She's um- she's
a social worker.

Oh, cool.

Yeah, you sound
like you're busy.

You must be really busy.

Yeah, um... I'm about to get
on the plane.

Jules, um, is everything ok?

Uh... I don't feel very good.

I just- I've been... trying
to reach out-

I'm so sorry, Jules.

I'm having a really hard time
hearing you.

Can you say that again?

I can't.

It's super loud in here.

Um, I'm sorry, I'm not sure
if you're talking or not,

I can't hear you.

I'll be back in a few weeks.

How about if I call you
as soon as I get back, ok?

♪

♪ Did I find the end? ♪

♪ Thought I'd died again, ♪

♪ I've been waiting on a friend
to take me home, ♪

♪ Take me home, ♪

♪ All my blood's run cold, ♪

♪ Time is not my own, ♪

♪ I've been sailing and I heard
the call to shore ♪

♪ The call to shore ♪

♪ Pull me when I get
too far away, ♪

♪ Be my anchor, come on,
make me stay, ♪

♪ When all the world around me
is about to break, ♪

♪ Say that you're not
gonna let me fade, ♪

♪ Did I say goodbye? ♪

♪ With a fateful cry, ♪

♪ I was caught between
the chaos and the light, ♪

♪ And the light, ♪

♪ Call me when I get
too far away, ♪

♪ Be my anchor, come on, ♪

♪ make me stay, ♪

♪ When all the world around
me is built to break, ♪

♪ Say that you're not gonna
let me fade away, ♪

♪

♪ Away... ♪

♪

♪ Did I find the end? ♪

♪ Thought I'd died again, ♪

[sobbing]

It's a thin line between
the living and the dead.

Autopsy officials decided
that it was impossible

to pinpoint the exact
cause of death.

But the Grand Jury investigation

was eventually concluded,
no charges were ever filed.

I might have drowned, or died
of alcohol poisoning,

or had a seizure from mixing
benzos and alcohol.

It might have been accidental
or on purpose.

Nobody could say for sure.

They pretty much ruled out
foul play,

but in some parts of the
internet people still wonder.

They search my old
Facebook page

or scour my Instagram
for likes.

They try to imagine the person
behind the headline.

They try to unravel the mystery
of me.

♪

♪ Time is not my own ♪

♪ I have been sailing and
I heard the call to shore ♪

♪ The call to shore ♪

♪ Pull me when I get
too far away, ♪

♪ Be my anchor, come on,
make me stay, ♪

♪ When all the world around me
is built to break, ♪

♪ Say that you're not gonna
let me fade ♪