Original subtitles

Hi.

I'm just sucking down this caramel frappucino.

It's disgusting.

Uh, I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I miss you

and I crave you more than, well, definitely more than this,

but more than chocolate or crack cocaine,

and that even when I'm dead and I'm in the ground

and being eaten by worms I will still love you

because love never dies.

Mwah!

I miss you and I love you and I'm here for you

and I will see you soon.

After I died this video got more than two million views.

I imagine people who Google a dead person

or watch movies about them are looking for clues.

They keep clicking because they wanna know the person

behind the headline.

They wanna know what you were really like.

If you were good or bad.

Naughty or nice.

In my case people wanna know how I ended up dead

three days before my 27th birthday in the bathtub

of prominent Philadelphia defence attorney, Chuck Peruto,

who also happened to be my boss.

Somebody once said publicity is like sex.

When it's good it's great

and when it's bad it's still pretty good.

In Philly Chuck gets a lot of publicity.

Chuck was basically known for two things.

Defending murderers and mobsters in court

and dating gorgeous girls half his age.

Girls like me.

The day after I died Chuck posted that I was an angel

who God took too soon,

which is nice but not exactly true.

I was a lot of things.

But I was definitely no angel.

[speaking Spanish]

Zulma, Chuck's property manager, was the one who found me.

[screaming]

Hello?

Solomon?

Yeah.

Do you have my shirt?

Chuck sends Zulma to retrieve his shirt

from his condo in Rittenhouse Square

while Chuck was down on the shore

hosting his infamous Memorial Day beach bash in Margate.

What?

From beginning the shirt business seemed fishy.

He's down on the shore.

Why is a guy so desperate for his shirt?

It's human nature to want to solve the mystery

but, like a crystal prism, you hold any life up to the light

and different colours emerge.

They found a dead girl in Chuck's Peruto's bathtub.

Oh my god.

I just read it on Facebook.

In the days and weeks after my death,

cops, journalists,

documentarians and armchair detectives

will scour my Facebook page,

my online posts, and my YouTube channel

trying to figure out what happened to me.

[phone ringing]

Lola, hon, can you grab that?

Yeah, hang on.

On local talkshows and newsmagazines they'll call me

a raven-haired beauty with a Mona Lisa smile.

A sweetheart.

A slut.

Party central.

People will speculate and gossip in every bar,

party and dining room in the city.

What?

M- mom?

They found Julia.

An autopsy will be conducted, they'll interview co-workers,

lovers, friends and family,

and just like when I used to obsess over interviews,

autopsy reports and conspiracy theories,

now strangers obsess over me.

The girl in Chuck Peruto's bathtub.

Because while everybody in Philly knew Chuck Peruto.

Nobody really knew me.

I was madly in love with her.

What possible reason would I have to kill her?

♪

(crowd): Woooo!

(Guest): Happy graduation, Angie!

[cheering]

[laughing]

Wow.

Last time Terri got this drunk tables were thrown.

Do you think I should intervene?

No.

Chuck could use a few dents in that giant head of his.

I overheard him talking to Spencer saying

that he's in love with you.

No, you didn't.

That didn't happen.

Ok, from my desk at reception I see everything.

I don't need Chuck falling in love with me.

Look at how scary Terri is.

She looks like she could throw me out a window

without even blinking.

Yeah.

And also, he's 58. I'll be 27 next week.

I'm way too old for him.

Yeah, but you're Mary Poppins.

Oh, come on.

A spoonful of sugar.

[laughing]

Ok, alright, alright, alright.

No, no, no, no, no.

You two are planning something here right now,

I can tell.

Yeah, a hostile takeover of your corner office.

Is that it?

Take it.

I'm done with that view.

So then, boss, you know, I have my degree,

you think I can get that raise?

Oh yeah, maybe he'll bump me up to $7.50 an hour.

Hardee-har-har.

A couple of cards here, I see.

Just short of a full deck,

otherwise we wouldn't be working for you.

I like when you're sassy.

We knew Chuck would go for Julia the moment she walked in.

She's totally his type.

Long, dark hair, super skinny.

Angie, congratulations, this is your day.

I think you know how proud I am of you.

Happy graduation.

I have to go and make an appearance at my nephew's.

Thank you so much for coming.

And um... don't forget that raise.

Right this way.

So did you actually get your nephew anything?

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, Zulma did, picked out a train or something.

Oh, that's thoughtful of you.

Wasn't it?

Yeah.

Why's Terri so pissed?

She called me last night

and said she wants to get back together.

Oh, and what did you say?

I said yeah.

[laughs]

I told her I'm seeing somebody.

Why did you do that?

You're gonna make my life miserable.

I didn't mention any names.

I know, it-

For a few weeks there Chuck was definitely into me.

(Guest outside) Did you check out that game last night?

Flyers almost did it.

They lost in overtime.

Call me later.

I can't stay up there very long.

Well, they have a pill for that now.

Oh, Julia Law, ladies and gentlemen, give it up.

Yeah, I'll be here all week.

Unlike some people I don't have a problem with staying power.

You're killing me.

You're killing me.

Ok, well can you go before Terri comes in here

and kicks my ass, please?

She better not touch that ass.

Also, you are gorgeous. You know that?

My god, you are so gorgeous.

Chuck went on local news

proclaiming he never laid a hand on me,

which is not exactly true.

We had the perfect relationship.

I wanted to marry her.

I did.

So while everybody was obsessed with the romance

between me and Chuck there were other people the cops

should have interviewed.

Other people that had plenty of reasons to want me dead.

Hey.

Hey, welcome back.

Uh, I'm headed out.

I just wanted to tell you how great you look.

But then you always do.

That's not true, but thank you.

I actually wanted to ask you, um,

how's your grandma?

Uh, she's uh, yeah, hospice is there now, so...

Oh my- I didn't realize it had gotten that bad.

I'm so sorry, Paul.

She's pretty doped up on morphine, so...

That sucks.

Yeah, other than that, just trying to stay busy.

Yeah, Chuck said Schuster got off

with a slap on the wrist, which is amazing.

Yeah. He's pretty happy.

Mmmhmm. I bet.

How about you?

Are things good?

Uh, yeah.

I uh... I feel great.

Um, I'm just trying to be healthy and I'm quitting smoking

and quitting midnight runs to Daily Doughnuts.

Doughnuts? Yeah?

You know about that.

I do.

Unlike most guys in this town,

Paul wasn't a player.

While he could come off

as a little dull or plain vanilla.

When you got close to him he was a really

nice, smart, sensitive guy.

It's like the methadone clinic.

For pets.

[laughing]

Hey, I'm really sorry that things ended the way they did.

It's not your fault.

You know, all the stuff that you said about,

you know, being messed up.

Everyone's got problems.

Everybody.

Not you.

I do.

I just think maybe...

maybe it's easier to work through that stuff

when you're with somebody who loves you.

Yeah, maybe.

Do you have plans for your birthday?

Yeah, I'm gonna bury my head in the sand

and pretend it's not happening.

You're 27, you're a baby. You're a baby.

My mom invited me to come home for it.

Wow. That's progress, right?

Woah.

Yeah, no, it's good. It is good.

I really wanna see my little brother,

I haven't seen him in forever.

Lola posted this video of him in this, like,

really cute penguin costume and I've watched it

no less than 200 times.

Uh...

Fair enough.

Well, if you don't go and see the adorable penguin,

can I buy you dinner?

I gotta fly to Chicago tomorrow but I'm back Thursday.

I'll take you to Aria for old time's sake.

Yeah. I would like that.

I missed you.

I missed you, too.

I did miss him.

The year Paul and I were together

was probably the best year of my life.

He was nice to me.

My family loved him.

He was smart and stable

and honestly, super boring.

Thank you for the ride.

Until Thursday.

Ignore all the sounds-

Yeah, don't worry.

I'm about to make.

[laughs]

Bye.

Everyone who knew him, though,

thought Paul was a really good guy.

But what if he found out I was sleeping with Chuck

before Chuck called him in to tell him I was dead in his tub?

Could he have been the quintessential nice guy

who suddenly snaps?

She was a friend and she was a very good person.

That's all I'm gonna say about it, alright?

I'm not comfortable talking about somebody that's not here

to defend herself and frankly I'm getting a little tired of

you guys following me around asking me about it, ok?

Talking about it's not gonna change what happened

and it's really tough to move forward

and put things behind you when you got somebody

sticking a camera in your face asking you questions about it,

so have a little respect.

Alright? I'm sorry.

Excuse me.

Let me tell you something.

You wanna know the real reason

that they're gonna convene the grand jury?

'Cause there's nobody out there that believes that I killed her.

It's this Ratsinger, the D.A., otherwise known as "the rat",

fat prick, doing this just to get back at me for all the times

I made him look like an asshole in court,

and trust me, it's a lot.

So now you've got Ratsinger, who's jerkin' off the cops

and the whole time whoever did this?

They're free.

And you're talking to me now?

[laughs]

[gasps]

Oh my-

Hi.

Hi.

Here's the truth.

I liked Chuck but he was way too old for me,

and Paul was a super nice guy but he was kinda boring.

The true undisputed love of my life was a guy totally unknown

to both Chuck and Paul.

A guy the cops found out about but never interviewed.

His name was Neil,

and he broke my heart about a million times.

[message alert]

Who are you texting?

Chuck, 'cause he asked me to stay over.

I'm jealous.

Good.

You should be.

You know I hate leaving you alone,

you know that, right?

What I knew was that Neil was married with three kids

and I was in love with him.

I also knew there was no way we were ever gonna be together,

not like normal people.

Ok, well, I'm gonna go be not alone with Chuck

'cause he acts like he actually wants to be around me.

Sound good?

Mmm.

I hate every minute that we're apart,

you know that, right?

I just hate you.

That wasn't true and we both knew it.

I just liked to hurt him a little sometimes

the way he hurt me without even trying.

What do you think? This one?

This guy?

A thong.

You're not going anywhere.

No, I'm going-

You're the one who has to leave.

Funny.

We uh... we met at a bar.

She was complimenting me on my old fashioned.

She's like "there's something about a man

that drinks an old fashioned" and I was like well, ok.

I'll take that.

And we just started to uh, get into conversation.

It was- it felt like we had known each other for so long,

it was just instant.

We just- we just clicked, you know?

Um, and uh, she happened to be going my way and I gave her

a ride home and we just kept in touch from there.

It's hard not to wonder what if.

Maybe if things had been different between me and Neil

and if I hadn't decided to go to Chuck's

maybe what happened that night never would have happened.

Hey.

Hey, how's it going?

It's good.

Um, I actually just wanted to check and see if anyone

had handed in some, like, Rayban aviators?

I'm not sure, but I can check in the office for you.

Ok, that'd be great.

That sucks.

Yeah, I know.

I left brand a new Phillies hat at the movies a few weeks ago,

I go back like five minutes later to get it

and the cleaning crew guy is like "I don't know, man,

I haven't seen it."

I go back the next day the dude's wearing my hat.

That's insane!

Did you say anything to him?

Well, I...

You just let him keep it.

I think that was his scam.

Yeah, bummer.

I wonder how many hats that guy has.

[laughs] A lot.

Uh, you want?

Uh, sure. Why not?

That's nice looking stuff.

Are you celebrating?

Yeah. I just met you, so.

Oh, isn't that nice?

Cheers.

Cheers.

Uh, you live around here?

Just around the corner. What about you?

Yeah, just moved into the neighbourhood.

Oh yeah?

How are you finding it?

It's awesome.

It's good, right?

There's like a lot of good bars and restaurants and stuff.

This is all we got.

Uh, yeah. That's not them.

Uh, ok, can I just give you my phone number

and if they show up you can just call me?

What guy in his right mind would say no to that?

Do you remember when you left them here?

Yeah, it was last night so I'm guessing someone swiped them.

We'll make sure we look.

Sure you will.

If I come back and you're wearing them,

I won't do anything about it, but please don't.

Ok, nice seeing you.

Uh, woah.

Wait a minute.

Where are you going?

I don't even know your name.

I'm actually gonna go meet somebody right now.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

Ok.

Sorry.

Thank you for the champagne, that was really nice of you.

If you're keeping track at home so far we have Chuck my boss,

Terri, his ex-girlfriend, Paul my ex-boyfriend,

and Neil, my married lover.

Oh, and then there was the creep who roofied me.

[water running]

That was a pretty crazy night, right?

Uh, shower only, actually.

There's another bathroom down the hall.

[sobbing]

If you've never been roofied, and I hope to God you haven't,

it's the weirdest feeling in the world.

I felt like I had died and been dragged back to life by my hair.

Everything hurt.

I have to go home.

My phone's dead, I... I don't have a car.

Oh, yeah, no.

Let me get you an Uber.

You can just get me back.

What's your address?

(News): And in weather,

It's a beautiful day out there today.

A high of 92...

No, no, no!

[buzz]

How many times is this now?

Three?

In three months?

Yeah, I'm really sorry.

[phone ringing]

Hey.

Hi.

Are you ok?

No.

I think he took my keys.

Can you come over?

Jules, listen to me.

You gotta call the cops, alright?

I can't call the cops.

Excuse me.

Who are you with? What're you doing?

I'm- I'm just uh, I'm at a lighting-

Can you just come over?

I don't understand why you can't just come over.

I'm with my kids.

Can Angie come stay with you?

No, her family's in town.

How about Susan?

She's not talking to me.

What? Since when?

Since she yelled at me and said she wasn't going

to be my enabler anymore.

I'm such a shit show.

Can you just say something?

Can you just tell me that you love me or something?

Baby, I love you. I do.

And I wish I could be there right now with you,

kissing you, holding you in my arms

and making you feel good.

[message alert]

I can't believe this happened to you.

Babe, I can't see you anymore.

Huh?

I can't see your beautiful face.

Did you pause me?

No.

I had been looking on a recovery site

that offered support.

I posted on their forums a few times.

But I wasn't very good at reaching out.

This might sound weird but sometimes I felt like

Amy was watching over me, like God.

When I finally woke up a full day later,

late for work,

I was pretty sure the painting of Amy winking at me

was a hallucination, compliments of the roofie

and the wine I downed to fall asleep.

Well, hello.

What?

You, Paul, Saturday?

I knew you were gonna say that and that's not-

Ladies. This needs to get filed today on the Diaz case.

Oh, ok.

I just have to finish another pleading for Chuck

then I'll do it.

Did I get it?

Yeah?

Oh, hey.

We're all going to Retro.

After work, ok?

Oh, hey.

The Peruto party train was a fun ride.

It was hard not to jump on.

But I barely slept three hours at a stretch.

I was struggling to keep up.

This girl was- person, excuse me, ladies-

uh, a physical specimen,

an Olympic athlete, a triathlete, whatever.

And it seemed to me I could admire that if it was on the top

of Mount Olympus, but at the downtown Y it just seemed...

The Y?

What?

Nothing. Just the Y, yeah.

Chuck can't handle strong women is what he's trying to say.

Maybe I just like something more real.

That is why he spent six months trying to convince me

to get a boob job.

You must be talking about somebody else.

Real Chuck? I mean, we all know you can't handle real.

Hey, babe.

What's the matter?

I feel like I'm having a heart attack.

You want me to take you to the hospital?

I can't breathe, though.

I feel like-- I think I might pass out.

Well, you want me to take you home or what?

Mmmhmm. This is a- this is a panic attack!

I've had them before, this is really bad.

Ok.

You'll be alright, just breathe.

Can we go get a drink?

Look, what that guy did was sick and illegal,

and you should call the cops-

No, I don't want to talk to the cops.

I have enough going on in my head

without a guilt trip from you.

Please.

I'm not trying to guilt trip you.

I don't have anything to tell the cops.

If I go to them I don't know this dude's name,

I don't know anything about him,

so if I go all we're gonna have to talk about is me

and I don't particularly want my life

under a microscope right now.

I understand.

No, you don't.

I know you want to but you really don't understand.

Okay, when I woke up this morning, my phone was dead

so he called me a car which means he knows where I live

and he has my keys.

Maybe the cops could trace-

No, I'm not gonna talk to the cops, ok?!

Alright, um... I'm sorry.

Um...

No, I'm sorry.

You've been through a lot.

We'll get you a room.

You can relax, have a hot bath.

You'll feel better.

Sometimes Neil could be so good to me.

Ok.

Whether he was good for me is another question.

Yeah, hi.

Yeah, my name is Neil, I'm a friend of Julia Law's,

she's a tenant in your building.

Apparently, somebody has the keys to her place

and we'd like to get the locks changed.

Wondering if you could help us out.

Yeah, yeah.

As soon as possible, actually.

Look, I know you got a whole building to manage

and that new locks are expensive but--

It's not going to cost anything so what's the problem?

No, no, I get it, I get it, but how about this?

How about I send in my locksmith,

he'll change the locks, no cost to you and give you the master?

Neil was a really good daddy.

He knew how to take charge and make everything better.

Yeah, no, she'll rest easier that way.

Yeah.

Great.

Great, thank you, thank you very much.

Done.

Yeah?

The locksmith will be at your place

first thing in the morning.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I do appreciate it.

I'm sorry that you had to do all of this. It's just--

Sorry? What do you got to be sorry about?

I don't know, it's just not your problem

Hey, hey.

I like doing things for you.

Yeah?

Yes, I do.

Now, what else can I do for you?

I don't know.

I was doing so good.

I was tapering my drinking

and now I've had all this friggin' vodka and wine

and I still can't calm down.

Hey, hey.

I think I know how to make you relax.

[giggles]

Ok.

You should probably take this off.

I think I'm a little overdressed.

I think so.

You wear it.

Me?

Yeah. It's sexy.

No. ooh. On a leash...

I wish you could just hold me forever.

I wish that was your job, was just to,

like, hold me like this.

You're the only person who really loves me.

Oh come on now, we both know that's not true.

It is true.

Everyone who's ever loved me has left me.

Ok, that sounds melodramatic, but it's kinda true.

My nana and grandpa, my dog Snuffy.

I just wanna stay here.

[phone ringing]

[groans]

I'm sorry.

It's ok.

Hey.

Aw, hi baby girl.

You getting ready to go to sleep?

Yeah?

Alright, big kiss.

Ready for the squeeze?

Arrrr.

[laughs]

Alright, baby, alright goodnight, sweetie.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm still here stuck with a client.

How's it going there?

Well, maybe we can talk to her together tomorrow.

I should be able to get out of here within the hour.

Yeah, see you soon.

So am I your client?

[laughs]

You are my boss.

Oh.

In that case, you can't go otherwise you're fired.

I have to.

Do you think you could just stay with me until I fall asleep?

Trust me, I would love to but I gotta go.

Your wife yanks on your leash and then you have to leave?

Don't.

I'm not your boss, she's your boss.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Yeah.

Hey, come on.

Don't be like that, alright?

I'll call you tomorrow.

Wait.

(whispers) I'll make it up to you, I promise.

Yeah, we uh, talked about me leaving my wife.

Julia told me not to.

She said her life got really messed up when her father left

and so she didn't want that to happen to my kids.

That's just how she was.

She had her problems but... she had a huge heart.

I always hated sleeping alone.

Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night

unable to move and I'd be so frightened.

I'd see things and I'd hear things

that were so incredibly vivid.

I was never sure what was real and what was a dream.

I was caught in a vicious cycle.

I'd drink to fall asleep then have nightmares

because of the booze that were so real,

it sent me right back to drinking.

Ok.

Oh!

You're all set.

Ok, thank you.

Oh my god!

dammit!

Hey, Angie, I gotta run to court.

Can you cover for me?

Spencer was looking for you!

No, I know, it's just I made this huge mistake

and I don't wanna lose my job over this.

I'm sorry.

Ok.

You can just change the numbers on the stamp

to yesterday's date.

I won't tell anybody. Come on, dude.

I've had people do this for me before.

I have come to this office and they have literally done this

for me before.

I've got a line of people, ok?

If you want to file it, we can stamp it with today's date.

Please, come on!

I just need this one... what is this for you?

Is this like a tiny little slap on the wrist or something?

Just like stamp this.

Ok, fine. Stamp it with...

Amazing. You're incredible.

You're a spectacle.

Thank you so much.

Have a great day.

Yeah, thank you.

Julia?

Oh, Brooke.

Hi.

Hi.

God, I was just thinking about you.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I heard you're working for Chuck Peruto.

Yeah.

Yeah, I went to law school with Chuck.

He's great, as long as you're not on the opposing side.

Yeah.

Totally.

Um, so how are you?

God.

Really busy, my little guy's in preschool,

you know, walking, talking, super chatty just like his mom.

That's amazing.

God, it's great to see you.

We should grab a coffee.

Yeah, I'd love that. That would b fun.

Yeah, and listen,

if you need a recommendation for law school or anything-

Oh, that's so nice of you.

I'm not being nice.

You were the best intern I ever had.

Chuck is lucky to have snagged you.

So will you call me?

I will, I will definitely call you.

I'm so glad that I ran into you.

Yeah, we'll talk to you soon.

Great, I'll call you, ok?

Ok.

Running into Brooke on the street

shook something loose in me.

When I was interning for her,

helping others through my work seemed possible.

I wanted that feeling again.

Online, I read up on how to taper off on drinking.

and made a list of supplements and teas to help me sleep.

I was determined to clean up my act.

$93.78.

But for some of us, as much as we want that good life,

as much as we reach out for it and almost hold it in our hands,

somehow we always come up empty.

I think someone stole my wallet.

Don't worry about it.

Just take the yogurt.

We've all been there.

Like...

Don't worry.

Thank you.

I'll- I'll get you on the next one.

No worries.

Thanks.

(Bank Rep): We'll send that new card right out to you.

In the meantime I'd just like to verify some recent purchases

at Thrifty Liquor.

We show $36.90 on the 7th, $42.12 on the 8th.

Wait, ok.

What- where was the one on the 8th?

Uh, the 8th was also at Thrifty.

Andrews, really...

Ok, I gotta call you back.

He looks like a clown.

He looks like a circus clown.

What's going on?

Anyway, never beat me on one count, never will again.

And the winner is... Boom!

My guy got acquitted by the jury

and he should have been indicted for manslaughter at least.

Great.

Hey, wait.

Uh, congratulations.

I want to ask you about something.

Oh, please do.

I'm having difficulties with--

Look at you. You're so happy.

Ok, relax-

Good day.

You're having a good day.

It's gonna get better. It's about to get better.

Ok, so did you actually want to talk to me, or did you?

Yes. Your lips taste like honey.

I know you've been told that before.

Is that true?

Constantly.

There's a whole blog dedicated to it.

Ok, enough!

We can't do this in here!

[laughs] Stop!

They're gonna hear us out there.

You have to stop.

Come on.

What?

Ok.

Hey, hey.

We can't do this here.

Come on.

We can do anything we want.

What if someone walks in?

I also don't want everyone here thinking of me like this.

Please.

My house, ten minutes.

Yes. Ok.

I'll leave after you.

Ok.

Don't keep me waiting.

Whew.

My sister didn't love Chuck.

I mean, she liked his lifestyle and she liked the attention

but down deep she knew he was no good for her.

She just couldn't end it.

You know, I'm gonna be 27 on Monday.

What?

Yeah.

Why didn't you tell me that?

Oh, am I supposed to put it in your calendar?

Abso-freaking-lutely.

We gotta celebrate.

I'm gonna fly you down after my party to Miami.

Yeah, I can't come to your party.

What're you talking about?

What do you mean you can't come to my party?

It's not even a question that you're coming to my party.

Ok?

You don't come, you're fired.

I mean...

Oh my god.

Seriously, why can't you come to my party?

I have to go spend my birthday with my family.

I haven't seen them in forever and my brother's making me a cake,

I don't want to disappoint him.

Wait...

They live in Absecon, right?

Yes.

Ok, so uh, you go celebrate with your family

and I'll send a car out you can come down to Margate.

How easy was that?

You'd do that?

It's already done.

You want me there that badly?

It's not a party without the party girl.

Oh my god.

Who're you texting?

Hi.

Hi.

I was just gonna call you.

Are you coming in Friday or Saturday?

'Cause I can pick you up at the station if you want.

Yeah. That's why I called, because um...

Oh my god, do not tell me you're bailing.

Will you relax, I'm not bailing.

Thank god, because I'd have to kill you.

You know Max has blown up like 1,000 balloons already.

Ok, it's just Chuck is giving me like a lot of flack

for not coming to his party.

Why is Chuck giving you flack?

Are you his caterer now?

It's not like that.

It's not like what?

Ok, just like don't freak out but um...

What?

We've kind of started seeing each other.

Ok, that's a joke right?

Oh my god, you don't even know him!

You could have Paul.

Paul is like the kind of guy

that woman will just like kill for.

Why would you want to trade him in for the Cult of Chucky?

I didn't ask for him to for him to like fall in love with me,

but it's-

Oh my god.

He said he's in love with you?

Seriously?

Don't tell mom either!

I'm going to handle it!

Just don't say anything to mom.

Fine.

Are you gonna tell Max that you're not coming?

I didn't say I wasn't coming!

This is unbelievable! You're unbelievable!

Ok. Thanks for nothing!

I don't know why I bother with you.

So are you coming?

Yes, I'm coming! Goodbye!

I can go to family functions and remember them.

And have a good time, but it wasn't always like that.

You know, my dad would piss me off and I'd be like oh,

I'll show you.

My mom would yell at me, boom.

Drink.

F you, mom, Right?

So I was drinking at people for years,

trying to feel better, which really means feel less,

and it didn't matter what it was.

Booze, drugs, sex, food.

It's all the same thing.

My addict will literally try anything

to fill this gaping hole inside of me

and she won't stop until I'm dead.

I thought it was good, yeah.

Yeah, I know.

Hi, I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt.

Hi, by the way, It's nice to see you.

Good to see you.

It's been a really long time.

Um, I just wanted to say like that was really helpful,

your share, it was super relatable and it's-

it's been a really crazy period for me right now

because like I've been drinking

just to fall asleep and if I try to stop I start having

these really terrible panic attacks and I feel like-

(crying) I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack,

like I feel like my heart is just beating through my chest

and I've been trying all these different things and it's-

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's just really hard to stay on top of it I think,

because it just feels like I'm drowning and I've been

trying to taper and I've just been tapering

and it's just not working

and I just don't know how to actually stop.

Ok, look.

Um, let me just say that for me tapering didn't work.

We're alcoholics, right?

When were we ever content with just one?

Yeah.

I just went cold turkey with a ton of support.

Yeah.

Support is huge.

I also had to do a huge clean out of my place.

Oh, yeah.

You've gotta get all the toxic substances-

And people.

Out of reach and out of your life.

Which, in my case, included my ex-husband.

Yes, it did.

Hey, listen.

Um, take a phone list, ok?

Use it.

The main thing is keep coming back.

Don't isolate.

That's when bad things happen.

Can I start you off with a drink from the bar?

I'll get a Manhattan with a twist of lime

and a Sauvignon Blanc, please, glass.

My pleasure.

Wait. Did you just order me a glass of wine?

I did.

[message alert]

I can cancel it.

I'm so sick of hearing about Chuck's party!

I should just break up with him and get back together with Paul.

Chuck is a bit of a dick but he could give you a big life.

What are you talking about?

Chuck is so obviously bad for me.

Well, you were always complaining about how Paul,

all he does is hang out in his underwear

and play video games.

Chuck's an egomaniac.

He's been with like millions of women.

I just don't understand why you're not telling me

to break up with him.

Because you're an intelligent adult woman

who I believe deserves the dignity

to make her own decisions.

I mean, is Paul right for you?

Yeah.

Probably, yeah.

But you're always saying

how there's no snap, crackle, pop.

Maybe that's not the most important thing.

Maybe that's not everything.

Alright, well, do whatever you want.

I mean, I don't even know why

you're even torturing yourself to make a decision.

It's not like you're exactly a one-guy woman.

What?

Three or four guys is about right for the proper care

and feeding of you.

You're gonna judge me?

I'm kidding.

Wow, dude.

Pot, kettle black, big time.

Come on, I was just joking.

Chill.

Don't tell me to chill.

You know the one way to not get people to chill

is to tell them to chill!

Alright.

You know, I was doing really well when I was with Paul.

I completely stopped all of my purging.

And started binge drinking.

Yeah, because he broke up with me!

You're just always trying to sabotage my sobriety.

You can't handle it.

You can't stand the thought of me being sober

because it would mean-

What are you talking about?

Because you only ever take me out to drink.

We only ever go to bars.

And when I told you

I was gonna start tapering my drinking did you support me?

No. You just kept ordering me more alcohol.

You never, ever stopped to be like oh,

maybe you shouldn't have

that third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth-

You don't even drink that much.

Yes, I do!

You don't know!

You don't know what I do!

I see you for like one hour out of every week!

I'm drunk like almost all the time!

And if I'm not I'm miserable.

It's not the alcohol that's the problem here, Jules.

It's what's causing you to drink that's the problem.

That's why I keep telling you to talk to a therapist

to figure out why you binge and purge and drink.

No, no, no.

You know what it is?

It's that if I get sober you're scared I won't be

with you anymore.

And you're right.

If I was sober I wouldn't be with you.

I wouldn't be with any of you.

Wait, where are you going?

Are you serious right now?

[honk]

Julia!

Come on, I'm sorry.

Get in the car, let me take you home.

No.

Come on. What do you mean, no?

Just get in the car.

Go away! I'm not getting in the car!

I'm not gonna let you walk home.

God.

Go!

Text me you got home safe.

Fine!

I hate you!

I was more determined than ever to stop drinking.

I made an appointment with my shrink to get help.

If you'd been taking in as much alcohol as I had,

and then you suddenly stop,

you're at risk for some pretty horrific symptoms,

including high blood pressure, fever, confusion,

even hallucinations and seizures.

[message alert]

I'm sorry.

That's ok.

You want to tell me about the purging?

No, that's actually good.

That's the one thing that's good at the moment, so...

Ok.

How about the drinking?

How much and how often?

It's a lot.

Like a bottle and a half, two bottles a night at the moment.

An inpatient program,

is that an option for you?

Yeah, I just don't have insurance right now

so I can't afford it.

But I did actually want to talk to you about-

I read that um, like benzos and valium can help

with withdrawal and- and stuff, so...

Well, benzos can help, yes,

but they can obviously be addictive.

No, I know.

And I'm totally aware of that.

Uh, I just- I do want to try going cold turkey this weekend

and I just want to be safe.

It just feels like the best option for me.

Detoxing from alcohol is not something

that you should be attempting on your own.

Do you understand?

Sure.

Um, and I have someone who will stay with me

if I ask him to, I just have to call him.

There you go.

[message alert]

Hey.

Nice to see you again, Darren Jones.

Remember me?

Yeah, I'm the girl that you roofied on Saturday.

Remember?

Give me my card.

I would never have gone home with you

if you hadn't drugged me!

Well, she's obviously crazy.

Yeah, I'm crazy 'cause you raped me!

Last Saturday this guy, Darren Jones, raped me!

Oh, where are you off to, Darren?

You forgot your card.

Darren Jones, everybody.

Yeah, run, Darren!

Run!

(replay) I would never have gone home with you if-

Look at his face.

Oh my god, look at his face!

[laughs]

You know, I got some people in the Philly PD.

You wouldn't even have to go up to the station.

Uh-uh, dude.

I am putting this all over YouTube.

I am gonna nail this scumbag to the wall.

I'm going to ruin your life.

Are you sure you're ok?

Look at him.

Yeah, I'm great.

I feel amazing.

Do you want me to come up with you?

Make sure you feel safe?

Yeah, I do.

[laughing]

Gotcha.

Ok, I have to be serious for one second.

Uh-oh.

I am gonna quit drinking.

Ok.

Will you help me?

Of course.

You know I got you.

Will you spend the weekend with me?

I would love nothing-

Yes, I will spend the weekend with you.

More than to spend the weekend with you but I-

Look, I got a prescription for valium from my shrink

but she said it's not safe to detox alone.

Ok, but can we- can we wait until next weekend?

But it's my birthday this week.

Yeah, I know.

It's just that my in-laws are coming to town

and it's Jaelyn's little league game on Saturday.

But I mean next weekend I'm free

and I could just tell Grace that, you know,

I got stuff to do.

Sure.

Don't.

Don't what?

Don't look at me like that.

Look, I'll be here for you next weekend.

I promise I'll be here without fail.

After Neil left I couldn't fall asleep.

I just kept having this feeling of impending doom.

I decided I couldn't afford to wait.

I was in a plane that was going down

and I needed to put on my own oxygen mask.

I decided I wasn't going to go home to see my family,

I wasn't going to go to Chuck's party and drink myself blind,

I was gonna hunker down at my place and detox from alcohol.

Hello people! Day 1: cold turkey.

I took my pill and feeling great.

I dumped my stash and I'm working on a list of things

I wanna do to stay busy.

For the first time in years

I actually feel the tiniest bud of hope.

I am going to change my life.

After starting my detox I was so excited I was up all night.

I texted Neil to meet me at the Rocky steps.

I was feeling great.

Woohoo!

Look at me go!

You did it.

I know.

I have just been thinking about the 27 club and,

like, all the people who died when they were 27, right?

Like Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse,

Kurt Cobain- Jimi Hendrix.

Jimi Hendrix.

Yeah.

And just like all the amazing stuff that they had done

when they were 27 and then they died and I was like oh my god,

if I die at 27 I'm not gonna be in that club.

There's like no reason I would ever be in that club.

I haven't done anything.

And normally that thought would like really freak me out,

like I would be like oh my god,

I'm not living up to my potential

I've just been like waiting around,

am I like fulfilled?

Am I happy?

Like all these different questions, right?

Mmmhmm.

But like I don't feel like that anymore.

Like I just don't feel like that.

I feel really good.

Good.

I feel amazing.

And I think the problem is, is like we're constantly waiting,

like oh, I'll start living my life once I'm skinny,

once I'm rich, once I'm married, once I'm whatever.

Yeah.

And you can't.

You can't just wait for any of that stuff.

You have to just start doing it.

So last night I wrote this bucket list

and I'm gonna do all of it.

I'm gonna do all of it this year

and you just helped me with number 67.

Rocky steps.

This was- this was 67?

Uh-huh.

What about 69?

G-g-good one.

Can I help you with that one?

Sure.

Yeah?

Yeah, no, 69 is um, actually...

uh, make a meal with my mother.

That's 69?

That's number 69.

I don't know, I think we can do better.

Hi.

Hi.

Ooh, I like those earrings.

Thank you, I just got them, actually.

They were like 30 percent off. Yeah.

They look expensive.

You're at work, obviously, right?

I am at work, uh-huh.

Um...

What're you doing?

Eating?

No, I just have coffee, that's all.

Ok.

Um, uh, hey.

There's like a lot of stuff this weekend

that I have to reschedule some things, so-

Oh my god, I can't believe you're not coming.

That's not what I said.

I can't believe I defended you.

What?

Mom said that you'd pick him over us and I said no, mom-

Wait, wait, wait, Lola!

Did you tell mom about Chuck?

Yeah, I told her.

What the- I specifically asked you not to!

I said that I would take care of it!

Yeah, well you're obviously not taking care of it.

I mean, you didn't even call her,

I called you.

Is that your sister?

Yeah, mom. She's not coming at all

Don't listen to her, mom.

Hi mom.

That's not what I said.

That's not what I said.

What would you like me to tell your brother?

I didn't say I wasn't gonna come!

I just can't stay the entire weekend.

[phone ringing]

You decide and we'll arrange the day around that.

It's your birthday, Julia.

Well, I have to go, we can argue about this later.

Whatever.

You better call Max.

Hey.

Did you actually file the pleadings

for the Diaz case?

(Julia): I tried to hold it together but things were unravelling.

Ok, calm down.

I'm sure that they're here somewhere.

Substandard?

I work my ass off all the time!

I'm const-

You know what?

Actually, it is- it is- I-

I've never seen her like that.

She was crying in the washroom saying that everybody

was mad at her.

Luckily Paul was there.

[sobbing]

Jules, hey.

Oh my god.

What's going on?

Hey, no, no, no.

I'm sorry.

What's going on?

It's alright, sorry for what?

Hey, look at me.

Everything is just a mess.

I wanted to tell him everything but I was afraid he'd hate me.

Hey.

What's going on?

Go ahead, slut shame me but he was my rock in a storm

and I clung to him.

It's too cheesy to call her a delicate flower

or something like that but I think-

I do think that she brought,

I don't know, there was a fragrance about her,

if that's not too girly.

When she walked into a room everyone saw it.

It wasn't just me, I was just lucky for that time to have it.

I don't know what else to say.

It's not for me to say, anyway.

But don't talk badly about her.

She's human and trying like we all are.

Let's leave it at that.

After apologizing about the file,

I had promised Chuck I'd go with him to the Philly party.

You sure you don't want me to add a shot of vodka to that?

No, I'm sure.

Not to be confused with Chuck's Memorial Day beach bash.

Anyway, it was the last place I wanted to be

But I convinced myself I'd go

and actually break it off with Chuck as part of cleaning house.

Hey, stop talking to them. Talk to me.

I am bored out of my mind.

Oh my god, Chuck Peruto.

Grace.

How are ya?

Good to see you.

Good to see you.

I don't think you guys have met before.

This is my husband, Neil.

Finally.

Oh right.

Chuck and I served together on Hope for the Holidays.

Good to meet you.

You work for Larry Glinkowsky, right?

Yeah.

Larry and I go way, way, way, way, way back.

Ok, ok.

Yeah, good guy.

Yeah.

Oh, god. I saw Arnie Milliken the other day.

Cheap Suit Milliken.

Can I please take you upstairs and ravage you right now?

Hey, what's wrong?

I'm tired of this.

I don't wanna do this anymore.

I'm sick of being in a relationship

with Don frikken' Draper.

I've never loved any other woman the way I love you.

Awesome.

Where does that leave me?

Huh?

You're always saying that you love me,

you love me more than anything, that I'm the person

that you want to be with, but you could be with me.

You could be with me really easily if you wanted to be.

But you're not.

I get you for like three hours out of the week

if I'm really lucky.

Seriously?

Congrats.

You're the worst.

Don't say that.

You didn't even introduce me.

Neither of you did.

You just acted like I wasn't there.

Maybe I should go and introduce myself to your lovely wife.

Woah, woah, woah.

No?

No.

You think that you can have whatever you want.

Just be however you wanna be.

You can't.

If my life is gonna be hell, yours is gonna be hell, too.

Yeah? What does that mean?

You'll see.

As I watched Neil's wife walk toward me I thought about

how I could blow up her perfect world in an instant.

I knew exactly where I was.

We were driving home from a restaurant.

My parents were in town so they had the kids.

The news was on.

Someone was talking about the girl in Chuck Peruto's bathtub.

Everyone in Philly was talking about it.

I asked Neil a question and he didn't answer,

and when I looked over at him he was crying.

Sobbing, actually.

He had to pull over

and f... finally he said to me "I need to tell you something"

[sobbing] ...and

When he said that I knew.

Apparently it had been going on for years

and I had absolutely no idea.

Hey.

Hey.

Are you keeping secrets from me?

What're you talking about?

Well, Paul thinks you're spending your birthday with him.

I'm not-

Who's- I'm not- oh my god,

I don't wanna have this fight with you.

This is stupid.

You and I want different things.

Well, until this morning

I thought we wanted the same thing.

I want you and from what you tell me,

and from how you act when we're alone, you want me.

Tell me the truth.

Are you two back together or not?

Because last I heard you weren't even speaking.

Ok, I'm not with him,

I'm not getting back together with him,

I'm not sleeping with him

and I'm not spending my birthday with him, ok?

Believe me or don't, I don't really care.

Tell me- tell me what is it that you want

that you think I don't I want.

You want a list?

Yes, I do.

Ok, here's a list of things that you don't want that I do.

I want to have kids. I want to have three kids.

I want to be in a healthy relationship with a functioning person.

So why is that different from what I want?

Because it's exactly why you broke up with Terri!

No, I broke up with Terri because she's nuts.

I don't wanna have babies with someone who's nuts, ok?

You wanna have kids?

I'll have kids with you tomorrow.

Don't joke about that, please. That's so unfair.

I'm not joking.

What do you want me to do

to show you how crazy I am for you?

What?

Or how perfect I think you are.

Don't say that.

You wanna get married? Let's get married.

I mean it. I'd go to the moon with you.

Ok, I'm- I can't stand people talking about

how perfect I am all the time.

I'm not perfect, I'm flawed, ok?

Ok, good. I like your flaws.

You with flaws is ten times better than the next girl.

Come here. Come here.

Chuck, there's-

So what?

I don't care who sees.

I don't.

Stop it.

I don't want to stop.

What is going on?

Oh, god!

Don't cause a scene here.

Don't cause a scene-

You lying asshole!

Telling me there's nothing going on!

Terri!

Acting like I'm crazy!

I was living dangerously.

I am not crazy!

I will kick your ass!

Don't you even look at me! I am coming for you!

I knew better than to get on the wrong side of Terri.

Terri let's go!

Chuckie Peruto doesn't get married to anyone.

I don't think she knew what the hell she was doing.

You're shaking like a leaf.

Take the friggen' drink.

Come on.

You know all that stuff you said about me being perfect?

Well, I'm not.

There's just so much about me that you don't know.

I know enough.

You don't.

You really don't.

I know that you're anorexic.

I'm not anorexic!

Bulimic, whatever.

You're a puker.

Jesus, did somebody tell you that?

You wouldn't be the first girl that's used that as a diet.

Did you know that I've been to rehab not just for ED

but alcohol as well?

And you think this is gonna scare me away?

That I'm gonna go running?

When I said you're perfect

I meant you were perfect for me, ok?

You don't wanna drink, we don't drink.

You think I need drinking to be fun?

[glasses smash]

I'm fun.

I've helped a lot of girls get sober.

Even Gia, for a bit.

Gia the model?

Trust me.

A.A., N.A., fill-in-the-blank A.

I've been through all of it multiple times.

I told you about my brother, right?

No, I didn't even know you had a brother.

Kid brother, Joey.

He was an addict.

Pill head.

Quaaludes, mostly.

I sent him to rehab and uh, after a while

he seemed to be getting better and got out,

but then I don't hear from him for a few weeks.

He stopped returning my calls, so I went to his apartment

and I found him, face down on the floor in the bathroom

covered in his own vomit.

And that was on me because I didn't see the signs.

I uh... I was too late.

That's not your fault.

It's not, because you get really, really good

at hiding it.

Make sure you don't see it, make sure no one at work sees,

make sure no one in my family sees it

and it's just so exhausting.

Everything you like about me

and everything you know about me is

just based on nothing, like I'm- I feel like I'm nothing

and if you really knew who I was, if you knew the real me,

you wouldn't love me.

None of what you just told me, none of it,

changes anything, ok?

Because I've never felt so much so fast for somebody.

Nobody, ok?

You got it?

You want to get off the sauce, fine.

I'll help you get off the sauce.

Is that a deal?

Yeah.

We- we put her through this program,

a rehab program, and she did so well, you know?

She was strong and she was smiling again and she was eating

and- and she- she, you know, she looked good.

She was such a sweet, sensitive girl.

Yeah, uh, make sure the Bayside condo is aired out.

Put on the ceiling fans and um, you know, open the windows.

Yeah.

I leave in a few minutes.

Alright, thanks.

Alright, gorgeous.

Keys to the manor.

I want you to eat.

Relax.

Oh, that tub, imported from Italy,

it cost me ten grand.

I've never been in it.

Get naked, get in it, and think of me.

I have a big special surprise for you when you come

to the beach.

Oh yeah?

Do you have any, uh, jewellery on this- ah.

Empty.

That's not funny.

I'm not trying to be funny.

Stop.

Hey.

Look at this face.

I wanna know what you're gonna do for the next 30 years.

I'm serious.

No you're not.

Oh yeah, I am.

Really?

Oh yeah. You're smiling.

See? I can still surprise you.

Don't worry about your mom, by the way.

All the ladies hate me.

Until they meet me.

Then they love my ass.

You know what?

I'm gonna send a Hummer limo to your house.

Bring the whole family, bring them to my party.

Are you kidding me? It's got a hot tub in it.

One glass of champagne, that's for the toast to celebrate.

And then it's Martinelli's

the whole rest of the night, ok?

Mmmhmm.

Ok?

Ok.

Alright.

Ok.

Oh, also, by the way, if you bail on me

they are gonna need to use your dental records to identify you.

[laughs]

Ok!

I promise.

That was a little after 11:00 pm.

Well, he says he left around 11:00

but I have a friend who says that they know someone

who definitely heard them fighting after midnight.

You know, I don't wanna have this conversation.

You're not going anywhere.

[arguing]

Hey!

[thud]

How about this?

Chuck heads for Margate and suddenly on his way there

he realizes he's forgotten something.

The gossips imagined all kinds of crazy scenarios.

Chuck walking in on me and Paul, me and Angie.

Some even had us hooking up in a menage-a-trois

with Chuck coming in for that shirt at an inopportune moment.

Some people thought Chuck was definitely guilty

but they didn't believe that he actually did the deed himself.

They speculated that he probably called in a favour

and had one of his goombah clients snuff me out.

Some people suggested I had a secret lover.

[screams]

Fans of presumed innocent had a different theory.

They imagine Neil's wife tracked me down

and bashed my head in

after she discovered that I had been having an affair

with her husband.

I suppose there would have been some poetic justice in that.

But the night I died

I didn't see her or Paul or Angie or Terri

or even Darren Jones, the guy who roofied me.

The night I died I had no bruises,

cuts, or contusions.

There was no blood on the floor.

None of those theories are true.

The night I died Chuck was 80 miles away in Avalon, New Jersey,

at a bar with about 100 alibi witnesses

while Neil was at home watching his kids.

I was at Chucks, alone.

Now, this is where things get murky,

because from this point until approximately 10:00 am

when Zulma found me dead in the tub,

not one of the people the police interviewed

admitted to seeing me.

From forensics reports and texts I sent police know

that the night I died I made and ate a healthy salad.

I watched 8 Mile,

the Home Shopping Network, a nature special,

a horror movie and some girl-on-girl prison porn.

The thing about text messages, though,

is police can pinpoint where the person who's texting is

based on which cell tower gets pinged.

The night I died I did a lot of texting.

I think everybody knows who she was talking to,

what she was doing, everyone except me, so...

I could be a schmuck but I know who he is.

I thought they were friends.

I didn't know that anything else was going on.

It was before me and I- apparently during.

So what?

Bathtub murders are really hard to prove,

especially if someone was drugged or had been drinking,

and according to the coroner's report the night I died

I had a mix of Xanax, Klonopin, Valium, Vyvanse and Lexapro

in my bloodstream and I had consumed somewhere

between ten and twelve shots of hard liquor,

which means despite all of my best efforts to go cold turkey

the last night of my life

I got seriously hammered.

I was never with anyone like her.

Ever.

There's been other women, why not?

I was never, ever with anyone like her.

I wanna be very clear about that.

The one thing that people don't know about Julia

is that she was really funny.

Hello, my name is... le bouquet.

Oh, bonjour monsieur le bouquet.

Comment ca va?

I actually don't speak French.

I mean, this woman, she popped.

I mean, she just...

she was- she was like a little stick of dynamite.

I tried everything I could to calm down.

Nothing helped.

I wish she would have told me how much pain

she was going through.

She was an amazing woman.

I would have done anything for her.

Uh, so I did the Amy Winehouse look that I found online.

Um, it's kind of a little bit, like, festive I guess.

Oh my god, I can't believe how much I'm sweating.

One shot.

I took this ten days before she died.

I told her if she didn't feel safe detoxing on her own

to wait a week until I was available.

But Julia said she couldn't wait.

That next week would be too late.

I was doing a pretty good job keeping myself distracted

and things were going well.

But remember how I mentioned the horrific side effects

you can experience when you try to stop drinking.

[hallucinating] What a stupid plan, detoxing alone.

I started to hallucinate.

You're such an idiot.

Really good idea. You're going to give yourself a stroke!

[vomits]

If they care, why aren't they here.

There are demons in the walls, watching you.

They hate you.

They hate you.

Everybody hates you.

Nobody cares about you.

They don't love you.

They just say that so they can sleep with you.

Because they feel sorry for you.

Everybody hates you.

You're fat and ugly.

Look at your pores.

Look at yourself. Look at your pores.

Pour another glass.

You're a poor girl.

You poor girl.

Poor girl.

[screams]

[various voices resonating]

Nobody loves you.

Nobody cares about you.

You're going to die.

[voices continue to resonate]

Who's ready to party?

You are.

I know.

Whoop.

At meetings they always say it's important not to isolate.

The night I died I left 15 voicemail messages.

It's Jules from-

Sent 82 texts, and uploaded four videos.

And welcome to my cooking show.

It is carrots today.

This is Julia Law- oh, hahaha.

So much for my anonymity.

Can you call me back?

It works if you work it, and you're worth it, right?

Hey, Paul.

Hello?

Hey Siri, what's the meaning of life?

I sent messages to Chuck, Neil,

Paul, Angie, and while they all texted at various times

throughout the night, nobody came.

But for all my attempts at reaching out

only one call was answered.

Hello?

Devon?

Who is this?

It's Jules. From rehab.

Oh my god, hi!

How are you?

I'm- I'm ok, I just was like-

I was just thinking about you and wondering how you were.

Oh, that's so nice.

Um, well, as a matter of fact, I'm on my way to my honeymoon.

Really?

Crazy, right?

We got married today.

Wow.

So is the guy you're marrying an addict as well?

Um, it's a girl actually, and um, nope.

She's totally sober.

She's um- she's a social worker.

Oh, cool.

Yeah, you sound like you're busy.

You must be really busy.

Yeah, um... I'm about to get on the plane.

Jules, um, is everything ok?

Uh... I don't feel very good.

I just- I've been... trying to reach out-

I'm so sorry, Jules.

I'm having a really hard time hearing you.

Can you say that again?

I can't.

It's super loud in here.

Um, I'm sorry, I'm not sure if you're talking or not,

I can't hear you.

I'll be back in a few weeks.

How about if I call you as soon as I get back, ok?

♪

♪ Did I find the end? ♪

♪ Thought I'd died again, ♪

♪ I've been waiting on a friend to take me home, ♪

♪ Take me home, ♪

♪ All my blood's run cold, ♪

♪ Time is not my own, ♪

♪ I've been sailing and I heard the call to shore ♪

♪ The call to shore ♪

♪ Pull me when I get too far away, ♪

♪ Be my anchor, come on, make me stay, ♪

♪ When all the world around me is about to break, ♪

♪ Say that you're not gonna let me fade, ♪

♪ Did I say goodbye? ♪

♪ With a fateful cry, ♪

♪ I was caught between the chaos and the light, ♪

♪ And the light, ♪

♪ Call me when I get too far away, ♪

♪ Be my anchor, come on, ♪

♪ make me stay, ♪

♪ When all the world around me is built to break, ♪

♪ Say that you're not gonna let me fade away, ♪

♪

♪ Away... ♪

♪

♪ Did I find the end? ♪

♪ Thought I'd died again, ♪

[sobbing]

It's a thin line between the living and the dead.

Autopsy officials decided that it was impossible

to pinpoint the exact cause of death.

But the Grand Jury investigation

was eventually concluded, no charges were ever filed.

I might have drowned, or died of alcohol poisoning,

or had a seizure from mixing benzos and alcohol.

It might have been accidental or on purpose.

Nobody could say for sure.

They pretty much ruled out foul play,

but in some parts of the internet people still wonder.

They search my old Facebook page

or scour my Instagram for likes.

They try to imagine the person behind the headline.

They try to unravel the mystery of me.

♪

♪ Time is not my own ♪

♪ I have been sailing and I heard the call to shore ♪

♪ The call to shore ♪

♪ Pull me when I get too far away, ♪

♪ Be my anchor, come on, make me stay, ♪

♪ When all the world around me is built to break, ♪

♪ Say that you're not gonna let me fade ♪