All language subtitles for Raising Hope s01e03 Dream Hoarders.eng

Season 1, Ep. 3: "Dream Hoarders"

� Istanbul was Constantinople,
now it's Istanbul �

� Not Constantinople, been a long time gone,
Constantinople �

� Now it's Turkish delight
on a moonlit night �

� Every gal in Constantinople
lives in Istanbul �

� Not Constantinople �

Hey, how was work?

Great, *** remodelling, so they put all
their old stuff out on the curb for the help to fight over.

Almost got my hands on a
combination, TV, VCR, ***

and I thought these are
the kind of poisoning.

Have you seen this?

now we have this song playing,
she can't lose.

I know, it's weirdo music kicks
sensors of her brain like,

The other day, I found out

"America the Beautiful"
makes her poop faster.

Hey, guys,

check it out.

I taught Hope a trick.

She's crawling.

I taught her how to crawl.

Are you kidding me?

We're all exhausted

taking care of that baby as it is.

You taught it to move?

Good Lord.

Hope she doesn't get into
things the way you used to.

� Take me back to Constantinople �

� No, you can't go back
to Constantinople �

� Now it's Istanbul,
not Constantinople �

� Why did Constantinople
get the works? �

� That's nobody's business
but the Turks �

We're gonna have to do

some serious baby-proofing
around here.

Ugh, God!

Don't tell me you're
going to turn this house

into one of those baby-
proofing nightmares.

I was cleaning a place the other day,
and they even had

a lock on the damn toilet.

� Not Constantinople �

� Why did Constantinople
get the works? �

� That's nobody's business
but the Turks �

� Istanbul... �

I'm in here!

Jimmy, you can't protect your
child from every little danger.

They have to learn from
their own mistakes.

Yeah, like how I learned
to jump off the roof

with an umbrella?

Once, and then you
never did it again.

Plus, you learned about gravity.

What I learned

was I need to protect my child
better than you protected me.

For the record, I thought

that umbrella thing
was going to work.

Wind was really humming that day.

You're going to have

to move all these pool
chemicals out of here.

She can get to this now.

I don't have anywhere
else to put them.

Back of the truck is all
full of weed killer.

I could put the weed killer in here

if you think that's better.

"Pick your poison."

I just got that.

Ow.

Maybe I'll see if Mom can make
some room in the greenhouse.

There are some things I don't like

to talk to your grandma about.

One is her hobby.

You see, some grandmas bake,

some play bridge, some crochet.

Your grandma is a hoarder.

One of the only perks of
cleaning houses

is getting all the crap the rich
people no longer want.

It never bothered your grandmother

that she didn't have a use
for any of the stuff.

All she knew was: It was free
and she wanted it.

What are you guys
doing in my stuff?

You didn't touch my stuff, did you?

Don't touch my stuff.

This is my stuff.

Mom, I need to make a little room

in here for Dad's pool chemicals.

Can we maybe pick a few items
that you might not need?

I need everything in here.

Do you need this box

of towel racks?

Because not only have I never seen

anyone in this house
hang up a towel,

we only have one bathroom.

We do now, but we don't know

how many bathrooms we're going
to have when your father

and I get our own place.
Do you think

you're going to have 20?

We might.

I've been getting really close

with the lottery lately.

Two weeks ago, I got one number.

Last week

I almost got two.

I think she's getting
ready to bust wide open.

What's tonight's jackpot up to?

$46 million. Nice.

I'm glad we didn't win last week.

Now we can get a house and a boat.

Oh, I've been thinking
about boat names.

How about Ship Happens?

The Love Burt?

Aquaholic?

Yeah, Buoy?

I'll keep thinking. How about

you keep thinking about where
to put the pool chemicals?

I'm going to get some
baby-proofing stuff.

See if the hardware
store has sheds on sale.

I'm not going to
the hardware store.

Going to the grocery store.

I think Sabrina's working tonight.

There you go.

Just 'cause she has a boyfriend,
don't give up.

Girls are just like the lottery.

You can't win if you don't play.

Make sure you smile a lot;
you got a great smile.

Okay, maybe I was
thinking of somebody else.

Go.

Howdy-hi, partner.

Howdy-hi.

No, you don't have to do it,

just us. Oh.

What were you writing
in that notebook?

Oh, I'm working on a short story.

I'm taking a creative
writing class.

Cool, um, what's the story about?

It's called The Elephant
in the Room.

It's about a Waspy family

that's slowly turning
into emotionless zombies.

Whoo, spooky.

Yeah, yeah, I'm having a
lot of fun writing it.

I'm kind of stuck on
this one sentence.

Like, what's another
word for "ostentatious"?

Uh...

Delicious?

Tired?

Obnoxious?

Lamp shade?

I really don't know that word.

Yeah, no, keep going, though.

This is fun.

Chocoholic?

� O beautiful for
spacious skies... �

Come on, Maw Maw.

� For amber waves of grain... �

There you go, sweetheart.

� For purple mountain
majesties... �

� Above the fruited plain. �

You go get in the bathtub.

I'll come check on you in a bit.

Whoa.

I got to start videotaping
what goes on in that bathroom.

Be good to have in
case my cousin tries

to fight us in court for the
house after Maw Maw dies.

Where's Hope?

She was here a second ago.

He just had to teach her
to crawl, didn't he?

Here, baby, baby, baby.

Here, baby, baby, baby.

Why the hell are you looking up?

You were looking down.

I thought you had that covered.

What, do you think
she'd climb a tree?

No, a hawk might have got her.

Oh, God, I never thought of that.

Hope!

I just know he's going to find
a way to blame us for this.

Quick, help me get
this stuff out of here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Not a good idea.

This is bad.

This is really bad.

I'm freaking out a
little bit here, Burt.

I'm not doing well with this.

Think of something.

How are we going to
fix this... think.

You know I can't think
on demand like that.

Think.

Crap, stop saying "Think."

Every time you say "Think,"

all I can think is
the word "think,"

and it fills up my whole brain.
All right, all right.

Think, think, think. All right.

It keeps changing colors and sizes.

I-I can't get past it.

All right, I'm getting
kind of antsy.

I need to clear my head.

Relax me... do, do my thing.

All right.

Here we go.

If we can't get to the baby,

we need to get it to
come out on its own.

You're still just thinking of
the word "think," aren't you?

Yeah, a little guy with a
hand puppet just came out,

pumped up the word
until it exploded

into a million little thinks.

Hmm, just keep stroking my nose.

Sugar cubes.

You good?

What are you looking for?

Sugar cubes.

I was going to teach
Hope how to somersault.

Are we out? If we're out,
I can go back to the store.

It's no problem.

Get right back there while
she's still working.

Yes, we're out.

Jimmy came home,

but I sent him back to the store.

How is she?

She's cool.

I'm keeping her entertained.

Hey, sweetie, look what I got.

If you want

your sugar cubes, you got to come

to the front of the greenhouse,

but you can't crawl along the
side here 'cause it's blocked,

so you want to go
back about two feet,

make a left at the fax machine,

crawl over the big aquarium

and then under the little aquarium,

and keep on going

till you're old enough to
know what I'm talking about.

We're screwed.

Uh, forgot sugar cubes.

Might want to think
about making a list.

That's a great idea.

I don't have time now,

but maybe I'll swing by
later for some paper.

How's that short story coming?

Haven't really gotten much done

since I saw you eight minutes ago.

Well, I don't know if
you can use it or not,

but I made you this.

I used an old fast food bag

that was in my van.

It's really good.

Thanks. I didn't know if your
story was gonna have pictures,

but most good ones do, so...

I wasn't planning on it, but maybe.

In my story, it's really more
of a metaphorical elephant.

Oh. Well, I don't think

anyone'll know what species it is.

I drew it pretty generic.

It's coming.

A little to the left.

What's going on?

What are you guys doing?

Uh... your baby's trapped
in your mother's cluer.

What?

Is she okay? Can she breathe?

She's fine. She doesn't
even know she's trapped.

Don't worry, your father's
gonna suck her out.

She's in good hands.

Remember how delicately

I vacuumed out that dead squirrel

from the bottom of the
Wassermans' pool last week?

Not a bruise on it; little fella
could've had an open-casket.

What did you... How the
hell did this happen?

Well, you went out for ice cream

and had unprotected sex
with a serial killer. No,

no, no, you can't
keep going to that.

I left you guys in charge of Hope,
and now she's trapped

under a giant pile of crap because
you're a hoarder. Jimmy...

leave her alone.

I was supposed to be watching her,

and I got distracted
by the lottery numbers.

Oh, I can see why you
couldn't miss that.

I assume you won?

No. Why would you assume that?
Did you hear something?

Did they do a re-draw or something?

I got her!

Make sure the suction's
not too high.

I don't want to have to explain
a hickey on her ass to day care.

Here she comes.

We're on the home stretch.

Now she's gonna pee on my stuff.

Where is she?

She's all the way
in the back again.

She's quick.
She makes it through this,

you got quite a little
athlete on your hands.

Oh, this is crazy.

I'm going in.

Don't touch that!

If you move the wrong thing,

it could all come crashing down.

� Istanbul was Constantinople,
now it's Istanbul �

� Not Constantinople, been a long time gone,
Constantinople �

� Now it's Turkish delight
on a moonlit night �

� Every gal in Constantinople
lives in Istanbul �

� Not Constantinople �

� So if you've a date in
Constantinople �

� She'll be waiting in Istanbul �

� Even old New York �

� Was once New Amsterdam �

� Why they changed it,
I can't say �

� People just liked it better
that way � � So �

� Take me back to Constantinople �

� No, you can't go back
to Constantinople �

� Been a long time gone �

� Constantinople,
why did Constantinople �

� Get the works? �

� That's nobody's business �

� But the Turks �

� Do, do, do, do, do, do, do... �

� Why did Constantinople
get the works? �

� That's nobody's business
but the turks... �

� Istanbul... �

It's okay.

You're not gonna thank
your Great-Maw Maw?

Thank you, Maw Maw.

I like your pants.

Want to trade pants?

Humor her... she just
saved your granddaughter.

I hate when we do this.

She always leaves tissues and
chicken bones in my pockets.

Hope still asleep?

Yep.

What got you up so early?

Me? I had to do a
little baby-proofing

in the backyard.

Where's my stuff?

Jimmy, what did you
do with my stuff?

My stuff is gone.
Where-where's my stuff?

Your stuff is where it
belongs... in the dump.

Burt, I need you.

I know this is hard for you,

but what happened yesterday

can't happen again.

You guys put Hope in danger because

you're living in a fantasy land.
You collect crap

for a house we'll never have,
while Dad is busy checking

for winning numbers that
he's never gonna get.

Now that there's a
baby in the house,

you need to start
concentrating on her

instead of what you're gonna

name your imaginary boat. Hey,

we don't have to talk
about that anymore.

We agreed last night...
Cirrhosis of the River.

What about you?

You're so busy blaming
everybody else.

Where were you when your
daughter got stuck?

I was in the store buying
things to keep her safe.

Yeah, the grocery store,
which is five blocks

further away than
the hardware store.

Face it, Jimmy, we're not the only

illusional ones around here...
your daughter got stuck 'cause

you were out chasing after some girl
that has a boyfriend. Fine, you're right.

I'm doing the same thing you guys are,
and I need to stop.

I need to focus on Hope.

You're gonna give up on this girl?
I don't believe it.

Well, I am. We all need to get
our heads out of the clouds.

It took a little convincing,

but eventually,
your grandma and grandpa

understood what I was
talking about.

From now on, we're gonna
pay more attention to you.

For me, that means buying all
the groceries at once

and avoiding certain lines.

For your grandpa, it means
finding something else

to do with his dollar.

For Grandma,
it means stepping aside

and letting Guadalupe and
Loquesia duke it out

for a 20-year-old Hamilton
Beach popcorn maker.

I'm not gonna lie to you.

Now that we're living in reality,

things have been a little less
cheery around the house.

But we'll get through it.

How was your day?

Me?

I scrubbed toilets.

You?

Cleaned pools, cut grass.

Still no winner in what is
now a $128 million jackpot.

In case you missed it,
here were last night's numbers.

Don't tell me those
were your numbers.

Could've been... I do quick picks.

I guess we'll never know. Damn it!

Somebody ate all the chewy
chocolate chip cookies.

Okay, relax, I'll go get some more.

Oh, no, you won't... you're going

to that grocery store
to see that girl.

If you go and talk to that girl,
I get to buy a lottery ticket.

I'm not gonna talk to the girl...
I promised I wouldn't.

You better not be...
'cause I passed a house

this morning on Sycamore street
that was throwing away a chair

that looked like a
high-heeled shoe.

Would've looked great
in a walk-in closet.

I didn't even slow down.
She's not even working tonight.

She has class.

Yeah, well, let's just
make sure of that.

Burt, hold his face.

Uh, what are you doing?

Just a little insurance

to make sure you don't
break your promise.

Your mom's on the phone.

She has lice again?

Hey.

Hello.

You know you have "dork"
written on your face, right?

Uh-huh. My mom did it.

It usually comes off
in a couple of weeks.

You might want to think
about wearing makeup.

I tried that...
Makes me look like a dork.

Kind of a catch-32.

I thought you had
class Tuesday nights.

Creative writing? I dropped it.

I showed my dad my story,

and he said it was blah.

Not that he's a wizard with words.

I'm gonna pick up
an accounting class.

I can already punch
numbers without looking.

Look, it's none of my business,
but if you really want

to be a writer,
you can't just give up.

I mean, if you give up,
you'll never know what could have been.

What if you wrote the best story

anybody has ever heard?

If they could turn it into a book,

or even a movie,
you could win an Oscar.

I'm not gonna win an Oscar.
You don't know that.

Anything is possible,
unless you quit.

You can't win if you don't play.

Think about it...

how cool would it
be to win an Oscar?

It would be pretty cool.

I could stand

onstage in my Badgely
Mischka dress and...

thank Gabodurey Sidibe for
bringing my words to life.

Sure. I don't know

what language some of
those words are in,

but that's what I'm talking about.

Thanks.

Yeah.

I needed that.

Where the hell'd you
learn to be so positive?

It's infectious.

I guess my parents infected me.

You're lucky.

Is that gonna be all?

No. I need one more thing.

That's when I realized I want
you to grow up in a house

where people dream.

"DORK"

Growing up with your
grandparents in this house

left me with a lot of scars,
but it also left me

with the confidence that
no dream is too big.

We're definitely gonna have
a dishwasher that works

when we get our own place.
Hey, you know what?

We're gonna get you a
pet monkey, little dude.

Monkey!

We didn't have the best life,

but that didn't stop us from hoping
that one day we would.

I'm telling you,

this job is great!

People feel so guilty that
we're cleaning up their mess,

that they clean up half
of it ahead of time

and then they give us free stuff!

I got you a towel rack today
for when we buy our own house,

and you and your pet monkey
have your own bathroom.

Monkey!

And when you're growing up around
a couple of dreamers,

you can't help but turn
into one yourself.

Hey, what's the
jackpot up to tonight?

$3 million. Ooh, I bet we can get

a big old house for that.

And when you marry that
grocery store girl,

you can come over for Thanksgiving.

We'll start with
cognac in the library.

I don't know if
that's gonna happen.

She's got a boyfriend.

She has a boyfriend now...
it doesn't mean

she's always gonna
have a boyfriend.

Yeah, he could die.

People die every second...
there's one.

There's another one.

Oh, that could've been him.

I may not be able

to give you the perfect life,

but I want you to live in a house

that makes you believe that
one day you can get it.

That's why I'm gonna make
sure you never see your daddy

stop dreaming,
because if you stop dreaming,

you're just sleeping.

Highfalutin.

Excuse me?

Another way to say ostentatious.

Highfalutin.

I looked it up

in something called The Saurus.

It's a cool book.

It's like the dictionary's cousin.

Thank you.

No prob... Wait.

No conundrum.

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