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1
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(waves crash)
2
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(footsteps crunch)
3
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(insects buzz)
4
00:01:45,636 --> 00:01:48,136
(birds chirp)
5
00:01:51,221 --> 00:01:53,638
(John pants)
6
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:13,358
- We routinely adjust our interpretation
7
00:02:13,358 --> 00:02:16,008
of events and our scientific theories
8
00:02:16,008 --> 00:02:20,175
to satisfy the dogmatic
requirements of our beliefs.
9
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Our beliefs set the boundaries
10
00:02:22,336 --> 00:02:26,503
and define the limits of our
science, they always have.
11
00:02:27,611 --> 00:02:30,528
True skepticism is open mindedness,
12
00:02:32,696 --> 00:02:36,863
the enemy of dogma. It's
not about your body,
13
00:02:37,034 --> 00:02:38,714
you're consciousness,
that is what you are.
14
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Your consciousness is
already out of your body,
15
00:02:40,969 --> 00:02:43,011
you don't, you don't need
to get out of your body,
16
00:02:43,011 --> 00:02:46,037
you just need to get
into your consciousness.
17
00:02:46,037 --> 00:02:47,969
What do the facts of your life,
18
00:02:47,969 --> 00:02:50,922
the facts of your existence,
and your results say
19
00:02:50,922 --> 00:02:53,763
about the quality of your consciousness,
20
00:02:53,763 --> 00:02:56,720
the effectiveness of your process,
21
00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:59,165
or the size of your picture?
22
00:02:59,165 --> 00:03:03,096
(slow orchestral music)
23
00:03:03,096 --> 00:03:05,596
(sirens wail)
24
00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:11,458
(slow orchestral music)
25
00:03:34,218 --> 00:03:36,718
(ice rattles)
26
00:03:40,593 --> 00:03:41,768
(liquid splashes)
27
00:03:41,768 --> 00:03:44,751
(ice rattles)
28
00:03:44,751 --> 00:03:48,168
(espresso machine whirs)
29
00:03:51,509 --> 00:03:54,676
(overlapping chatter)
30
00:03:57,725 --> 00:04:00,308
(beans rattle)
31
00:04:05,676 --> 00:04:08,931
(dishes clink)
32
00:04:08,931 --> 00:04:12,041
- [Therapist] So how is everything?
33
00:04:12,041 --> 00:04:16,208
- [Ivan] As good as good can
get, given the circumstance.
34
00:04:17,303 --> 00:04:18,679
- [Therapist] Last time we talked a lot
35
00:04:18,679 --> 00:04:21,406
about you wanting to escape.
36
00:04:21,406 --> 00:04:22,823
- Yeah, it's like
37
00:04:23,886 --> 00:04:24,886
a heaviness,
38
00:04:26,211 --> 00:04:27,044
a pressure
39
00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:31,501
from people, just the noise.
40
00:04:32,566 --> 00:04:35,284
- How's the Zyprexa treating you?
41
00:04:35,284 --> 00:04:36,560
- Okay.
42
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,065
- [Therapist] Any weight gain?
43
00:04:39,065 --> 00:04:40,482
- Yeah, a little.
44
00:04:41,768 --> 00:04:43,837
- [Therapist] You look the same to me.
45
00:04:43,837 --> 00:04:46,368
- I win I guess.
46
00:04:46,368 --> 00:04:48,021
- [Therapist] I've been
meaning to ask you,
47
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:50,007
are you still smoking?
48
00:04:50,007 --> 00:04:51,215
- Yeah.
49
00:04:51,215 --> 00:04:55,108
- You know smoking's bad for you, right?
50
00:04:55,108 --> 00:04:58,789
Let me ask you this, and you
don't have to answer now,
51
00:04:58,789 --> 00:05:01,958
what are you most afraid
of in this moment?
52
00:05:01,958 --> 00:05:05,041
(slow ambient music)
53
00:05:05,878 --> 00:05:07,961
- My mind going, I guess.
54
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,547
Forgetting who I am.
55
00:05:13,158 --> 00:05:15,926
I just miss the time when
this didn't define me,
56
00:05:15,926 --> 00:05:16,926
or define my
57
00:05:18,078 --> 00:05:20,021
fate, I guess.
58
00:05:20,021 --> 00:05:21,845
- That can't be easy.
59
00:05:21,845 --> 00:05:22,845
- Yeah, but.
60
00:05:25,668 --> 00:05:29,195
You know, there are people
suffering all over the place,
61
00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:32,750
and people who have it a
lot worse than I do, so.
62
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:36,583
- Do you often think
about the pain of others?
63
00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:39,627
- Yeah, I guess.
64
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:45,408
But having something in common with people
65
00:05:46,472 --> 00:05:48,305
gives me some comfort.
66
00:05:49,703 --> 00:05:52,286
You know, even if that thing is
67
00:05:53,908 --> 00:05:54,741
suffering.
68
00:05:58,639 --> 00:05:59,472
- Dead men.
69
00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:03,250
There's mountains.
70
00:06:04,524 --> 00:06:06,062
Europe has mountains.
71
00:06:06,062 --> 00:06:08,132
(coins clink)
72
00:06:08,132 --> 00:06:09,990
Birds, and flowers.
73
00:06:09,990 --> 00:06:12,816
(coins clink)
74
00:06:12,816 --> 00:06:15,816
We have military industrial complex,
75
00:06:17,909 --> 00:06:19,909
so it all goes to bombs.
76
00:06:21,358 --> 00:06:23,858
(coins clink)
77
00:06:25,768 --> 00:06:26,601
Lincoln.
78
00:06:28,709 --> 00:06:29,684
Lincoln.
79
00:06:29,684 --> 00:06:30,851
- Hey, Harold.
80
00:06:31,833 --> 00:06:32,729
How's it going?
81
00:06:32,729 --> 00:06:35,457
- Oh, man, good to see you.
82
00:06:35,457 --> 00:06:37,418
I'm really glad to have you here,
83
00:06:37,418 --> 00:06:38,912
you came all this way for me, man?
84
00:06:38,912 --> 00:06:40,649
- [Ivan] Yeah, not a problem.
85
00:06:40,649 --> 00:06:41,482
- Thank you.
86
00:06:41,482 --> 00:06:43,393
- You want a smoke, I got some.
87
00:06:43,393 --> 00:06:44,476
- Yeah, yeah,
88
00:06:45,788 --> 00:06:47,188
yeah.
89
00:06:47,188 --> 00:06:48,021
Oh, yeah.
90
00:06:48,894 --> 00:06:50,226
These are the ones I've been talking
91
00:06:50,226 --> 00:06:52,706
to him about, man, I kept bringing it up
92
00:06:52,706 --> 00:06:55,753
and, oh, hell, you know how they can be.
93
00:06:55,753 --> 00:06:57,115
- Yeah, I know how they can be.
94
00:06:57,115 --> 00:06:59,674
- Yeah, it's hard, man, it's hard.
95
00:06:59,674 --> 00:07:02,421
It's, uh, nowadays, man, it's just,
96
00:07:02,421 --> 00:07:04,116
it's just hard to tell, right?
97
00:07:04,116 --> 00:07:05,363
- I saw you counting your change,
98
00:07:05,363 --> 00:07:07,420
are you okay money wise?
99
00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:09,087
- Yeah, yeah, no, I.
100
00:07:10,485 --> 00:07:13,819
It's paying the bills,
man, it's paying the bills.
101
00:07:13,819 --> 00:07:15,484
You know, I'm fixing up the house,
102
00:07:15,484 --> 00:07:17,401
I mean, my office, and,
103
00:07:18,611 --> 00:07:20,179
well, shit, you know, it's a lot of work,
104
00:07:20,179 --> 00:07:22,277
it's more shit than I can do, right?
105
00:07:22,277 --> 00:07:23,845
- Yeah, yeah, oh, hey--
106
00:07:23,845 --> 00:07:25,118
- What the fuck?
107
00:07:25,118 --> 00:07:27,257
- They meant to tell you,
108
00:07:27,257 --> 00:07:30,590
they sent me your Christmas bonus early.
109
00:07:32,146 --> 00:07:34,328
- No, that's gonna be a problem, man,
110
00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:37,642
that's not a good investment, no, no.
111
00:07:37,642 --> 00:07:39,975
- Come on, you've earned it.
112
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,515
- Did they tell you that?
113
00:07:43,515 --> 00:07:45,113
- Yeah.
114
00:07:45,113 --> 00:07:48,384
- Yeah, they tell you
this was tracked, man?
115
00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:49,217
- What?
116
00:07:49,217 --> 00:07:51,536
- Yeah, yeah, they gotta
get their cut, man,
117
00:07:51,536 --> 00:07:54,918
and you bring a fucking tracked bill,
118
00:07:54,918 --> 00:07:57,525
no, no, it's okay, man.
119
00:07:57,525 --> 00:08:00,302
Yeah, you take it, it's okay.
120
00:08:00,302 --> 00:08:02,206
You had it before, man, it was no problem,
121
00:08:02,206 --> 00:08:04,374
okay, I just can't take
something like that, that's all.
122
00:08:04,374 --> 00:08:05,607
- Okay.
- Yeah.
123
00:08:05,607 --> 00:08:07,314
- I'll keep it.
- Yeah.
124
00:08:07,314 --> 00:08:09,981
- Hey, what if, what if we just,
125
00:08:12,261 --> 00:08:14,261
that way they can't find us.
126
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:17,256
(train crossing rings)
127
00:08:17,256 --> 00:08:19,006
- You're one of them.
128
00:08:22,351 --> 00:08:24,494
You're one of them.
129
00:08:24,494 --> 00:08:27,077
(Harold cries)
130
00:08:28,806 --> 00:08:32,973
They're everywhere, man,
there's no stopping them now.
131
00:08:33,790 --> 00:08:34,923
It's over.
132
00:08:34,923 --> 00:08:36,216
It's over.
133
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:39,141
(bottles clink)
134
00:08:39,141 --> 00:08:42,056
(dissonant orchestral music)
135
00:08:42,056 --> 00:08:43,755
All my work.
136
00:08:43,755 --> 00:08:47,681
(dissonant orchestral music)
137
00:08:47,681 --> 00:08:48,514
For nothing.
138
00:08:50,533 --> 00:08:51,713
For nothing.
139
00:08:51,713 --> 00:08:55,463
(dissonant orchestral music)
140
00:08:56,483 --> 00:08:59,233
(lighter clicks)
141
00:09:28,208 --> 00:09:31,541
(slow rhythmic pulsing)
142
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:55,758
(dissonant orchestral music)
143
00:10:26,085 --> 00:10:28,502
(Ivan gasps)
144
00:10:30,481 --> 00:10:31,314
(slow rhythmic pulsing)
145
00:10:39,548 --> 00:10:43,131
(Whispers)
146
00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:50,836
- [Woman] Ivan, hey man, you got this?
147
00:10:50,836 --> 00:10:52,636
- Yeah, yeah, I got it.
148
00:10:52,636 --> 00:10:55,464
- [Woman] Super small,
iced, leave room for cream.
149
00:10:55,464 --> 00:10:57,189
- Mm, got it.
150
00:10:57,189 --> 00:11:00,605
(overlapping chatter)
151
00:11:00,605 --> 00:11:04,033
(crickets chirp)
152
00:11:04,033 --> 00:11:06,783
(lighter clicks)
153
00:11:07,677 --> 00:11:10,141
(Ivan sighs)
154
00:11:10,141 --> 00:11:12,891
(crickets chirp)
155
00:11:18,453 --> 00:11:20,677
(Ivan sighs)
156
00:11:20,677 --> 00:11:23,427
(crickets chirp)
157
00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:29,687
- [Emily] Ivan?
158
00:11:31,096 --> 00:11:32,679
- Holy shit, Emily?
159
00:11:34,232 --> 00:11:35,645
Emily Fisher.
160
00:11:35,645 --> 00:11:36,798
- How are you?
161
00:11:36,798 --> 00:11:40,479
- Not bad, just, yeah,
trying to keep from smoking,
162
00:11:40,479 --> 00:11:44,147
which is hard, 'cause it's the
only thing that gives me joy.
163
00:11:44,147 --> 00:11:46,389
- Okay, well, I had no
idea that you worked here,
164
00:11:46,389 --> 00:11:47,621
I come here all the time.
165
00:11:47,621 --> 00:11:50,964
- Oh, yeah, I work pretty late though, so.
166
00:11:50,964 --> 00:11:53,586
During the daylight I'm
trying to get my master's.
167
00:11:53,586 --> 00:11:54,419
- Oh, yeah,
168
00:11:54,419 --> 00:11:57,028
I guess undergrad just doesn't
cut it like it used to.
169
00:11:57,028 --> 00:12:00,642
- Exactly, well, Jesus, how about you?
170
00:12:00,642 --> 00:12:04,168
- Well, I'm also no
stranger to the darkness.
171
00:12:04,168 --> 00:12:07,400
- That's perfect, that's perfect for you.
172
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,722
- I guess, thank you, no, I'm
actually headed there now,
173
00:12:10,722 --> 00:12:13,492
so I wanted to get something
to help me keep my eyes open.
174
00:12:13,492 --> 00:12:15,049
- Oh, yeah, don't let me hold you up.
175
00:12:15,049 --> 00:12:16,290
- No, no, no, will you be here in like,
176
00:12:16,290 --> 00:12:18,262
three minutes, and I'll
catch you on my way out?
177
00:12:18,262 --> 00:12:19,275
- Yeah, I'll be here.
178
00:12:19,275 --> 00:12:20,108
- Okay.
179
00:12:20,108 --> 00:12:23,441
(slow electronic music)
180
00:12:37,392 --> 00:12:38,225
- Hey,
181
00:12:39,723 --> 00:12:41,806
so I'm off tomorrow, and.
182
00:12:43,445 --> 00:12:46,445
I know we're both tired and old-ish,
183
00:12:47,522 --> 00:12:51,689
would you maybe want to
grab a drink sometime?
184
00:12:51,706 --> 00:12:55,205
Not now, obviously, but at sometime soon?
185
00:12:55,205 --> 00:12:56,846
- I, uh,
186
00:12:56,846 --> 00:12:58,139
yeah,
187
00:12:58,139 --> 00:12:59,203
yes.
188
00:12:59,203 --> 00:13:00,617
Yes.
189
00:13:00,617 --> 00:13:02,031
- Yeah.
190
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,066
- For sure.
191
00:13:03,066 --> 00:13:04,399
- Alright, here.
192
00:13:06,609 --> 00:13:08,337
This is my number.
193
00:13:08,337 --> 00:13:10,984
(slow electronic music)
194
00:13:10,984 --> 00:13:13,784
How about you pick a place and a time
195
00:13:13,784 --> 00:13:16,069
and text me, and I'll meet you there?
196
00:13:16,069 --> 00:13:17,424
- Yeah, I can do that.
197
00:13:17,424 --> 00:13:19,832
(slow electronic music)
198
00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:22,005
- Did I just ask you out?
199
00:13:22,005 --> 00:13:24,034
- Yeah, it felt like it.
200
00:13:24,034 --> 00:13:25,350
- Good.
201
00:13:25,350 --> 00:13:28,683
(slow electronic music)
202
00:13:30,446 --> 00:13:31,872
- Your drink.
203
00:13:31,872 --> 00:13:33,872
- [Emily] Don't need it!
204
00:13:34,715 --> 00:13:37,465
(water splashes)
205
00:13:51,334 --> 00:13:53,917
- Just go, just go, you got it.
206
00:13:56,231 --> 00:13:57,064
Go.
207
00:13:58,297 --> 00:13:59,348
Okay.
208
00:13:59,348 --> 00:14:02,515
(overlapping chatter)
209
00:14:04,154 --> 00:14:06,737
(radio blares)
210
00:14:13,851 --> 00:14:14,684
- Boo.
211
00:14:14,684 --> 00:14:16,164
- Ah, hey.
212
00:14:16,164 --> 00:14:17,997
- Hey, how's it going?
213
00:14:19,076 --> 00:14:20,828
- Good, you?
214
00:14:20,828 --> 00:14:22,388
- Pretty good.
215
00:14:22,388 --> 00:14:23,637
- Hey, what can I get you to drink?
216
00:14:23,637 --> 00:14:24,925
- Is that good?
217
00:14:24,925 --> 00:14:26,991
- Uh, yeah, I'm into it.
218
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,205
- [Emily] Can I have one of those, please?
219
00:14:28,205 --> 00:14:29,038
- [Waitress] Sure.
220
00:14:29,038 --> 00:14:30,246
- Thank you.
221
00:14:30,246 --> 00:14:32,181
This place is great.
222
00:14:32,181 --> 00:14:33,050
- Is it too loud?
223
00:14:33,050 --> 00:14:34,383
- No, it's fine.
224
00:14:35,668 --> 00:14:36,501
So.
225
00:14:37,530 --> 00:14:39,115
Spill it.
226
00:14:39,115 --> 00:14:39,948
- What?
227
00:14:39,948 --> 00:14:41,801
- What have you been doing with your life?
228
00:14:41,801 --> 00:14:43,914
What are you getting your master's in?
229
00:14:43,914 --> 00:14:46,894
- It was physics before, but
then I got into consciousness,
230
00:14:46,894 --> 00:14:49,496
and I'm actually doing
this study right now,
231
00:14:49,496 --> 00:14:53,618
we're exploring out of body experiences.
232
00:14:53,618 --> 00:14:54,451
- No kidding.
233
00:14:54,451 --> 00:14:56,853
- Yeah, yeah, and I get to
be one of the guinea pigs
234
00:14:56,853 --> 00:14:58,826
that tries to have them.
235
00:14:58,826 --> 00:14:59,659
- Dude, that's nuts.
236
00:14:59,659 --> 00:15:01,790
- [Ivan] Yeah, right?
237
00:15:01,790 --> 00:15:03,524
- Have you had one?
238
00:15:03,524 --> 00:15:07,139
- It's, the other people
in the study for sure have.
239
00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:08,357
- We've had people in the hospital
240
00:15:08,357 --> 00:15:11,357
that say that they've left
their body during surgery.
241
00:15:11,357 --> 00:15:12,742
- When they're unconscious?
242
00:15:12,742 --> 00:15:16,240
- Yeah, about two years ago
we had this woman who said
243
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,052
that she saw her husband standing over her
244
00:15:18,052 --> 00:15:20,037
in the OR when she was
under, and this was for,
245
00:15:20,037 --> 00:15:21,942
like, I don't know,
relatively minor thing,
246
00:15:21,942 --> 00:15:24,926
like, she was fine, but her husband went
247
00:15:24,926 --> 00:15:28,088
into cardiac arrest and
died when he was sitting
248
00:15:28,088 --> 00:15:31,997
in the waiting room, and he
never entered the OR once,
249
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:35,677
and she said that she saw him
standing there the whole time.
250
00:15:35,677 --> 00:15:36,813
- [Ivan] That's incredible.
251
00:15:36,813 --> 00:15:38,242
- I know.
252
00:15:38,242 --> 00:15:40,988
- Well, what do you make of it all?
253
00:15:41,105 --> 00:15:42,521
- I don't know...
254
00:15:43,555 --> 00:15:44,846
coincidence?
255
00:15:45,415 --> 00:15:48,115
Yeah, I'm the worst, I just, I don't know,
256
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:49,032
I feel like
257
00:15:51,054 --> 00:15:53,392
people dream funny dreams when
they're on anesthetic drugs,
258
00:15:53,392 --> 00:15:55,915
I mean, maybe if they suddenly
spoke a different language
259
00:15:55,915 --> 00:15:57,819
or knew the cure for
cancer, I'd be convinced
260
00:15:57,819 --> 00:16:00,422
that their soul just somehow
magically left their body.
261
00:16:00,422 --> 00:16:03,153
- That's a pretty high
bar to set for evidence.
262
00:16:03,153 --> 00:16:07,320
- Yeah, but I feel like
we set the bar pretty low
263
00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:11,116
when we want something to be true.
264
00:16:11,116 --> 00:16:12,103
- Yeah, I'll give you that.
265
00:16:12,103 --> 00:16:14,623
(Emily laughs)
266
00:16:14,623 --> 00:16:17,886
So that must be tough, your job?
267
00:16:17,886 --> 00:16:21,510
- Just physically, I mean,
helping people is the best,
268
00:16:21,510 --> 00:16:25,222
and if I ever actually, if
I ever actually save a life,
269
00:16:25,222 --> 00:16:27,824
I mean, that's why we do it, right?
270
00:16:27,824 --> 00:16:29,168
(dishes crash)
271
00:16:29,168 --> 00:16:30,582
(people holler)
272
00:16:30,582 --> 00:16:31,415
Oops.
273
00:16:37,027 --> 00:16:38,110
Are you okay?
274
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:42,452
- Yeah, sorry, I just get
anxious in public spaces,
275
00:16:42,452 --> 00:16:43,285
it's dumb.
276
00:16:45,039 --> 00:16:48,649
(tinnitus ringing)
277
00:16:48,649 --> 00:16:49,926
Sorry, sorry, I hate that.
278
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,426
- Hey, it's okay, you're okay.
279
00:16:53,510 --> 00:16:55,347
You know what?
280
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:59,514
We can just get out of here,
I will not give a shit, okay?
281
00:17:00,296 --> 00:17:01,560
- Okay.
282
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:04,664
- Hey, can we get the check, please?
283
00:17:04,664 --> 00:17:05,718
- [Waitress] Yeah, sure, no problem.
284
00:17:05,718 --> 00:17:06,718
- Thank you.
285
00:17:07,862 --> 00:17:08,695
Seriously.
286
00:17:10,524 --> 00:17:11,607
It's just me.
287
00:17:12,566 --> 00:17:13,566
No one else.
288
00:17:15,181 --> 00:17:16,014
You're okay.
289
00:17:17,874 --> 00:17:18,707
- Okay.
290
00:17:21,420 --> 00:17:22,680
- Here you are, no rush.
291
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,240
- [Emily] Perfect timing.
292
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,027
- Wow, that actually helped a bit.
293
00:17:28,027 --> 00:17:29,302
What are you, a hypnotist?
294
00:17:29,302 --> 00:17:30,885
- Yeah, definitely.
295
00:17:33,693 --> 00:17:36,360
Do you want to see my apartment?
296
00:17:37,597 --> 00:17:40,097
(door creaks)
297
00:17:43,431 --> 00:17:45,598
- Wow, your place is nice.
298
00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:52,818
(lighter clicks)
299
00:17:52,818 --> 00:17:55,235
You're a nurse in a hospital.
300
00:17:57,376 --> 00:17:59,568
- [Emily] Want some?
301
00:17:59,568 --> 00:18:01,739
- Yeah, but I probably shouldn't.
302
00:18:01,739 --> 00:18:04,746
- That's not the guy I remember.
303
00:18:04,746 --> 00:18:07,520
- I get too paranoid these days.
304
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:11,687
Plus, I don't know it'll
affect that research thing.
305
00:18:13,636 --> 00:18:17,492
- It helps me sleep,
takes my mind off shit.
306
00:18:17,492 --> 00:18:20,602
(slow electronic music)
307
00:18:20,602 --> 00:18:23,011
- Until the fear starts to take hold.
308
00:18:23,011 --> 00:18:24,636
(Emily laughs)
309
00:18:24,636 --> 00:18:27,015
(Ivan growls)
310
00:18:27,015 --> 00:18:28,249
(Emily laughs)
311
00:18:28,249 --> 00:18:29,875
I've come for your soul.
312
00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:30,799
- [Emily] Oh, shit.
313
00:18:30,799 --> 00:18:33,543
- [Ivan] Come for your, oh, give it to me,
314
00:18:33,543 --> 00:18:34,376
give me your skin.
315
00:18:34,376 --> 00:18:37,043
(Emily mumbles)
316
00:18:37,896 --> 00:18:38,729
Sorry.
317
00:18:38,729 --> 00:18:41,312
(Emily laughs)
318
00:18:43,281 --> 00:18:45,864
- I have to tell you something,
319
00:18:47,998 --> 00:18:49,998
and it's really bad, and
320
00:18:53,029 --> 00:18:57,029
I feel awful, and you're
probably gonna hate me.
321
00:18:57,991 --> 00:19:00,241
- [Ivan] Jesus, what is it?
322
00:19:04,502 --> 00:19:05,335
- I.
323
00:19:07,164 --> 00:19:08,305
- Come on.
324
00:19:08,305 --> 00:19:09,472
- I'm engaged.
325
00:19:10,930 --> 00:19:13,517
Like, engaged engaged.
326
00:19:13,517 --> 00:19:16,600
(slow ambient music)
327
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:23,075
I know it wasn't fair for
me not to say anything, but
328
00:19:24,258 --> 00:19:25,508
I just saw you,
329
00:19:26,985 --> 00:19:28,402
and I wanted you.
330
00:19:29,885 --> 00:19:32,058
I wanted you for a long time,
331
00:19:32,058 --> 00:19:35,141
and it just felt like my last chance.
332
00:19:38,356 --> 00:19:42,523
And I just thought that if you
knew, you wouldn't do this.
333
00:19:42,570 --> 00:19:46,129
(slow ambient music)
334
00:19:46,129 --> 00:19:48,829
- I have no problem with it.
335
00:19:48,829 --> 00:19:50,438
- Okay.
336
00:19:50,438 --> 00:19:54,190
- I mean, you didn't
promise me anything, right?
337
00:19:54,190 --> 00:19:55,273
- Yeah, okay.
338
00:19:57,580 --> 00:19:58,663
Are you sure?
339
00:19:59,540 --> 00:20:03,040
(slow ambient music)
340
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:07,040
Okay, God, it feels good
to get it off my chest.
341
00:20:08,472 --> 00:20:09,472
- Who is he?
342
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:13,668
- Oh, do you remember John Gardner?
343
00:20:16,485 --> 00:20:17,318
What?
344
00:20:19,234 --> 00:20:20,067
What is it?
345
00:20:20,067 --> 00:20:21,979
- I didn't say anything.
346
00:20:21,979 --> 00:20:23,547
- Fucking face, what?
347
00:20:23,547 --> 00:20:26,836
- No, no, he's a good guy, we were, like,
348
00:20:26,836 --> 00:20:28,867
roommates for a year.
349
00:20:28,867 --> 00:20:32,014
- Fuck (sighs).
350
00:20:32,014 --> 00:20:34,004
I'm so fucking stupid.
351
00:20:34,004 --> 00:20:34,837
- [Ivan] Stop.
352
00:20:34,837 --> 00:20:37,222
- No, I just hate myself
so much right now.
353
00:20:37,222 --> 00:20:40,403
- Look, I felt like if you
were really happy with him,
354
00:20:40,403 --> 00:20:43,278
you wouldn't have fucked
me, let's be honest.
355
00:20:43,278 --> 00:20:44,119
- Shut up.
356
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:47,179
It's, no, I just, I feel like
I'm on this conveyor belt,
357
00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:49,501
and the path is set, and I cannot stray,
358
00:20:49,501 --> 00:20:52,676
even for a second if I wanted to.
359
00:20:52,676 --> 00:20:55,890
(slow ambient music)
360
00:20:55,890 --> 00:20:58,339
- I heard this saying that a
person who won't leave a room
361
00:20:58,339 --> 00:21:01,557
because they don't know how,
or because they're too afraid
362
00:21:01,557 --> 00:21:05,507
to open the door, they're
trapped, just the same,
363
00:21:05,507 --> 00:21:08,340
whether or not the door is locked.
364
00:21:09,259 --> 00:21:11,458
- I heard a saying once that people
365
00:21:11,458 --> 00:21:14,075
who say sayings are fucking douche bags.
366
00:21:14,075 --> 00:21:16,106
(both laugh)
367
00:21:16,106 --> 00:21:17,760
- Yeah, yeah, I set
myself up for that one.
368
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,340
- Oh, I'm sorry, you
know I'm joking, right?
369
00:21:19,340 --> 00:21:21,745
- Yeah, no, I just won't
ever give you advice again.
370
00:21:21,745 --> 00:21:23,472
(both laugh)
371
00:21:23,472 --> 00:21:25,055
- Oh, I don't know.
372
00:21:25,978 --> 00:21:29,853
John is fine, most of the time,
373
00:21:31,727 --> 00:21:33,394
but he drinks a lot,
374
00:21:34,230 --> 00:21:38,571
and he has cheated on me more than once.
375
00:21:40,842 --> 00:21:41,675
- Well.
376
00:21:43,194 --> 00:21:45,113
Now I like him less.
377
00:21:45,113 --> 00:21:48,360
(slow ambient music)
378
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:50,181
He's not gonna barge in here, is he?
379
00:21:50,181 --> 00:21:54,348
- No, he's in Germany, or on
his way back from Germany.
380
00:21:55,727 --> 00:21:56,894
- Why Germany?
381
00:21:58,471 --> 00:22:00,289
- 'Cause he's in the army.
382
00:22:00,289 --> 00:22:01,224
- Fuck.
383
00:22:01,224 --> 00:22:02,279
- Yeah.
384
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:03,931
- Fuck.
385
00:22:03,931 --> 00:22:06,431
Oh, shit, what did we just do?
386
00:22:07,507 --> 00:22:08,638
- I know.
387
00:22:08,638 --> 00:22:12,462
(slow ambient music)
388
00:22:12,462 --> 00:22:14,086
You know what?
389
00:22:14,086 --> 00:22:18,253
No, I feel like every chance
he's had to fuck around,
390
00:22:19,155 --> 00:22:22,322
he has, and every time I stood by him,
391
00:22:23,915 --> 00:22:25,248
so he can either
392
00:22:26,551 --> 00:22:27,718
forgive me, or
393
00:22:29,447 --> 00:22:31,097
leave.
394
00:22:31,097 --> 00:22:34,431
- I'd prefer if he never
found out about this.
395
00:22:34,431 --> 00:22:35,720
- Yeah.
396
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,803
(slow ambient music)
397
00:22:40,547 --> 00:22:44,714
No matter what happens, I'm
really glad that we did this.
398
00:22:44,872 --> 00:22:47,523
(slow ambient music)
399
00:22:47,523 --> 00:22:48,423
- Same.
400
00:22:48,423 --> 00:22:51,051
(slow ambient music)
401
00:22:51,051 --> 00:22:53,551
(birds chirp)
402
00:22:59,958 --> 00:23:03,041
(slow ambient music)
403
00:23:03,968 --> 00:23:06,468
(pen scrawls)
404
00:23:10,331 --> 00:23:13,414
(ambient whispering)
405
00:23:17,721 --> 00:23:19,371
Don't do that.
406
00:23:19,371 --> 00:23:22,454
(slow ambient music)
407
00:23:30,497 --> 00:23:32,997
(birds chirp)
408
00:23:35,088 --> 00:23:37,838
(lighter clicks)
409
00:23:41,487 --> 00:23:44,570
(slow ambient music)
410
00:23:47,087 --> 00:23:49,729
(Ivan sighs)
411
00:23:49,729 --> 00:23:52,812
(slow ambient music)
412
00:24:06,601 --> 00:24:09,851
(slow rhythmic pulses)
413
00:24:25,122 --> 00:24:27,872
(phone vibrates)
414
00:24:39,179 --> 00:24:40,105
Hey.
415
00:24:40,105 --> 00:24:41,272
- [Emily] Hey.
416
00:24:43,198 --> 00:24:44,448
How's it going?
417
00:24:46,184 --> 00:24:47,549
- Good, great.
418
00:24:47,549 --> 00:24:50,361
- [Emily] It was nice
seeing you the other day.
419
00:24:50,361 --> 00:24:52,194
- Yeah, yeah, you too.
420
00:24:53,653 --> 00:24:57,736
- [Emily] Hey, listen,
John wants to talk to you.
421
00:24:59,932 --> 00:25:00,765
- Yeah?
422
00:25:04,561 --> 00:25:06,549
- [John] Hey, brother, long time no see.
423
00:25:06,549 --> 00:25:09,956
- Hey, yeah, yeah, it's been awhile.
424
00:25:09,956 --> 00:25:11,224
- [John] How's everything?
425
00:25:11,224 --> 00:25:13,441
Emily told me she ran into you.
426
00:25:13,441 --> 00:25:16,776
- Yeah, yeah, that, that happened.
427
00:25:16,776 --> 00:25:20,640
(slow orchestral music)
428
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:22,921
So you two are getting hitched, huh?
429
00:25:22,921 --> 00:25:26,423
- [John] Yeah, bet you never
thought you'd see the day.
430
00:25:26,423 --> 00:25:29,585
Just got back and got
tons of planning to do,
431
00:25:29,585 --> 00:25:32,679
I think today we're doing
the cake tasting thing,
432
00:25:32,679 --> 00:25:35,226
I don't know, but it's not all bad.
433
00:25:35,226 --> 00:25:38,782
- Yeah, who doesn't like cake, so.
434
00:25:38,782 --> 00:25:41,600
Emily told me you were in the army,
435
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,838
and I was like, how did
I not hear about this?
436
00:25:43,838 --> 00:25:48,005
- [John] Yeah, man, we
haven't spoken in forever.
437
00:25:48,068 --> 00:25:49,927
Long enough for me to go to hell and back.
438
00:25:49,927 --> 00:25:50,760
- When did you get back?
439
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:54,927
- [John] Hey, man, you wanna
come over for a drink tomorrow?
440
00:25:57,745 --> 00:26:00,162
I'd love to swap war stories.
441
00:26:02,077 --> 00:26:04,579
- Uh, yeah, that should work for me.
442
00:26:04,579 --> 00:26:05,746
- [John] Yeah?
443
00:26:07,670 --> 00:26:10,253
- Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.
444
00:26:11,369 --> 00:26:13,025
- [John] We can text you the address.
445
00:26:13,025 --> 00:26:15,853
Awesome, alright, I'll see
you then, peace, brother.
446
00:26:15,853 --> 00:26:17,518
- Yeah.
447
00:26:17,518 --> 00:26:20,601
(slow ambient music)
448
00:26:38,014 --> 00:26:40,764
(phone vibrates)
449
00:26:57,578 --> 00:26:58,725
(door creaks)
450
00:26:58,983 --> 00:26:59,816
- Hey.
451
00:26:59,825 --> 00:27:00,658
- [Ivan] Hey.
452
00:27:00,658 --> 00:27:01,519
- What's up, dude?
453
00:27:02,569 --> 00:27:03,609
- Get ready, I'm bringing it in close.
454
00:27:03,609 --> 00:27:04,442
- [Ivan] Hey, John.
455
00:27:04,442 --> 00:27:06,215
- Hey, how's it going?
456
00:27:06,215 --> 00:27:07,048
- [Ivan] Good, good.
457
00:27:07,048 --> 00:27:07,881
- Good seeing you man.
458
00:27:07,881 --> 00:27:08,714
- [Ivan] You too.
459
00:27:08,714 --> 00:27:09,852
- Come on in, let's do this.
460
00:27:09,852 --> 00:27:12,847
(door creaks)
461
00:27:12,847 --> 00:27:13,680
You ate, right?
462
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:15,678
- Yeah, yeah, I'm good.
463
00:27:15,678 --> 00:27:19,845
- [Emily] Good, 'cause this is all we got.
464
00:27:19,903 --> 00:27:21,958
- I'm gonna make such a mess (laughs).
465
00:27:21,958 --> 00:27:23,024
- What's new with you?
466
00:27:23,024 --> 00:27:25,040
Em says you're back in school.
467
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:28,984
- I told you, he's
literally soul searching.
468
00:27:28,984 --> 00:27:31,609
- Yeah, yeah, neuroscience, close enough.
469
00:27:31,609 --> 00:27:34,342
- Yeah, she said you were a
lab rat, what's that about?
470
00:27:34,342 --> 00:27:35,259
- Um, yeah.
471
00:27:37,183 --> 00:27:38,714
I'll just start from the beginning,
472
00:27:38,714 --> 00:27:42,783
a few years back, I saw this
talk at the university given
473
00:27:42,783 --> 00:27:44,825
by this wizard looking dude--
474
00:27:44,825 --> 00:27:46,352
- Like a Gandalf wizard?
475
00:27:46,352 --> 00:27:49,783
- Exactly, total Gandalf, so the talk was
476
00:27:49,783 --> 00:27:52,860
about consciousness and the idea
477
00:27:52,860 --> 00:27:56,261
that reality is all an illusion,
478
00:27:56,261 --> 00:27:59,430
and underneath it all is
this consciousness system
479
00:27:59,430 --> 00:28:00,968
that we're all a part of.
480
00:28:00,968 --> 00:28:05,014
And according to him,
with enough practice,
481
00:28:05,014 --> 00:28:09,181
we can all access this system
through advanced meditation,
482
00:28:10,026 --> 00:28:13,151
so when you hear about
out of body experiences
483
00:28:13,151 --> 00:28:16,215
or astral projection,
it's actually these people
484
00:28:16,215 --> 00:28:18,583
just breaking the
boundaries of the illusion.
485
00:28:18,583 --> 00:28:19,967
- So it's bullshit.
486
00:28:19,967 --> 00:28:21,228
- Maybe.
487
00:28:21,228 --> 00:28:24,293
Or maybe it's hard to
imagine the world is round
488
00:28:24,293 --> 00:28:27,735
if you always thought it was flat.
489
00:28:27,735 --> 00:28:28,568
- Fair.
490
00:28:29,867 --> 00:28:34,034
- So, yeah, now I'm
Gandalf's research buddy.
491
00:28:34,220 --> 00:28:35,706
- I'm so curious to see what you find out,
492
00:28:35,706 --> 00:28:37,718
I mean, this is not my area at all,
493
00:28:37,718 --> 00:28:41,501
but based on my ridiculously
limited background
494
00:28:41,501 --> 00:28:44,034
in medical research, I'm qualified enough
495
00:28:44,034 --> 00:28:45,420
to say that we know almost nothing
496
00:28:45,420 --> 00:28:46,253
about how the brain works.
497
00:28:46,253 --> 00:28:49,110
- No, right, exactly,
and this is weird, too,
498
00:28:49,110 --> 00:28:50,917
there's some evidence that observation
499
00:28:50,917 --> 00:28:54,486
alone can affect things
outside of our mind.
500
00:28:54,486 --> 00:28:56,041
You've heard of the double
slit experiment, right?
501
00:28:56,041 --> 00:28:56,874
- I have.
502
00:28:57,930 --> 00:28:59,778
No, I haven't.
503
00:28:59,778 --> 00:29:01,528
- [Emily] Ignore him.
504
00:29:02,656 --> 00:29:03,622
- Please, educate.
505
00:29:03,622 --> 00:29:06,017
- Okay, the double slit experiment is one
506
00:29:06,017 --> 00:29:09,179
of the most replicated
experiments in physics
507
00:29:09,179 --> 00:29:11,994
because it is so fucking weird.
508
00:29:11,994 --> 00:29:16,000
So you have these two slits,
and behind that is a censor,
509
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:19,538
like a wall, and if you blast
light through the slits,
510
00:29:19,538 --> 00:29:22,339
a wave pattern is created on the sensor,
511
00:29:22,339 --> 00:29:23,247
which makes sense, right,
512
00:29:23,247 --> 00:29:26,247
because light is like a wave, right?
513
00:29:27,267 --> 00:29:29,073
Okay, so later they figure out how
514
00:29:29,073 --> 00:29:31,823
to fire photons, light particles,
515
00:29:32,699 --> 00:29:34,532
one at a time through the slits,
516
00:29:34,532 --> 00:29:37,449
and they still make a wave pattern.
517
00:29:38,299 --> 00:29:39,289
- Okay.
518
00:29:39,289 --> 00:29:42,872
- Okay, okay, so blast
light, wave pattern,
519
00:29:44,399 --> 00:29:48,566
blast individual photon
particles, still a wave pattern.
520
00:29:50,045 --> 00:29:51,333
It's weird because you'd think
521
00:29:51,333 --> 00:29:55,500
that individual particles
would arrive kind of randomly,
522
00:29:55,589 --> 00:29:58,865
it wouldn't be able to create
the wave pattern one particle
523
00:29:58,865 --> 00:30:02,089
at a time, right, it
just doesn't make sense.
524
00:30:02,089 --> 00:30:05,096
- None of this shit makes any sense.
525
00:30:05,096 --> 00:30:05,929
- Shut up.
526
00:30:05,929 --> 00:30:10,096
- Okay, here's where it
actually gets interesting.
527
00:30:10,197 --> 00:30:11,892
To find out how individual particles
528
00:30:11,892 --> 00:30:15,420
could make wave patterns, they
set up these little detectors
529
00:30:15,420 --> 00:30:17,914
to see the particles
pass through the slits,
530
00:30:17,914 --> 00:30:22,081
and the particles totally
changed their behavior.
531
00:30:22,236 --> 00:30:24,171
The pattern on the sensor just looked
532
00:30:24,171 --> 00:30:26,482
like the particles shot
straight through the slits
533
00:30:26,482 --> 00:30:30,107
in a perfectly straight
line, no more wave pattern.
534
00:30:30,107 --> 00:30:31,689
They thought maybe the placement
535
00:30:31,689 --> 00:30:34,180
of the detectors interfered
with the particles somehow,
536
00:30:34,180 --> 00:30:38,347
so they turned them off,
but kept them in place,
537
00:30:38,578 --> 00:30:42,386
and the particles made
a wave pattern again.
538
00:30:42,386 --> 00:30:45,197
Detectors on, double slit pattern,
539
00:30:45,197 --> 00:30:47,530
detectors off, wave pattern.
540
00:30:49,606 --> 00:30:53,427
So the behavior of the particles depended
541
00:30:53,427 --> 00:30:57,594
on whether or not they were
actually being observed.
542
00:30:58,408 --> 00:30:59,241
- Spooky.
543
00:31:00,628 --> 00:31:01,461
- Wha?
544
00:31:01,461 --> 00:31:03,329
(Emily laughs)
545
00:31:03,329 --> 00:31:05,501
- I swear, every time I see
you I learn something new
546
00:31:05,501 --> 00:31:06,834
and awesome.
547
00:31:06,834 --> 00:31:10,307
- So John, you're a military man now, huh?
548
00:31:10,307 --> 00:31:13,149
How the hell did that happen?
549
00:31:13,149 --> 00:31:13,982
- Yeah.
550
00:31:15,671 --> 00:31:19,028
Sorry, yeah, it never used to
be this hard to talk about.
551
00:31:19,028 --> 00:31:20,695
- You don't have to.
552
00:31:22,061 --> 00:31:23,561
- I will say this.
553
00:31:26,372 --> 00:31:29,251
Being over there really shows
you what we take for granted,
554
00:31:29,251 --> 00:31:31,229
and I feel a lot of guilt about that.
555
00:31:31,229 --> 00:31:32,573
- I get that.
556
00:31:32,573 --> 00:31:34,421
- Seems like our days of
being spoiled are numbered,
557
00:31:34,421 --> 00:31:37,990
though, things aren't
what they used to be.
558
00:31:37,990 --> 00:31:41,268
I mean, there's a lot more
shared poverty nowadays.
559
00:31:41,268 --> 00:31:44,035
- Our system feeds on
poverty, it needs it.
560
00:31:44,035 --> 00:31:47,328
- Yeah, but on the other
hand, I mean, this wine.
561
00:31:47,328 --> 00:31:50,342
There's a heater in
here and a refrigerator.
562
00:31:50,342 --> 00:31:52,722
- And you got that beast of
an internet porn collection,
563
00:31:52,722 --> 00:31:53,913
so there's always that.
564
00:31:53,913 --> 00:31:54,837
- Yes.
565
00:31:54,837 --> 00:31:56,922
- Seriously, it's like a fucking terabyte.
566
00:31:56,922 --> 00:31:57,755
- On that hard drive.
567
00:31:57,755 --> 00:31:58,971
- I'm just saying, ugh.
568
00:31:58,971 --> 00:32:00,719
- Why don't you just stream
it like a normal person?
569
00:32:00,719 --> 00:32:03,661
- What, I am storing
up for the apocalypse.
570
00:32:03,661 --> 00:32:06,828
Got my vintage VHS '90s porn classics.
571
00:32:08,281 --> 00:32:09,234
- What, like Barbara's Bush?
572
00:32:09,234 --> 00:32:10,831
(overlapping chatter)
573
00:32:10,831 --> 00:32:12,664
- And Ghost Thrusters.
574
00:32:13,690 --> 00:32:14,523
Cliff Banger.
575
00:32:14,523 --> 00:32:17,744
(group laughs)
576
00:32:17,744 --> 00:32:18,919
Forrest Hump.
577
00:32:18,919 --> 00:32:22,326
(group laughs)
578
00:32:22,326 --> 00:32:23,743
That's good shit.
579
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:29,447
Ivan, in a couple weeks I'm
taking this hiking trip,
580
00:32:30,741 --> 00:32:34,908
kind of a last hurrah
before Em and I are trapped
581
00:32:35,076 --> 00:32:38,313
in a boring marriage for
the rest of our lives.
582
00:32:38,313 --> 00:32:40,730
- John wants to go on a vision quest.
583
00:32:40,730 --> 00:32:44,514
- I just want to set
up a tent on the beach
584
00:32:44,514 --> 00:32:46,514
and just feel the quiet.
585
00:32:47,945 --> 00:32:50,308
- I keep telling him that
even after we're married,
586
00:32:50,308 --> 00:32:53,108
he can still go off on a lonely pilgrimage
587
00:32:53,108 --> 00:32:55,979
to the middle of the
woods, but he doesn't get
588
00:32:55,979 --> 00:32:58,876
that I'm not a fucking prison guard, so.
589
00:32:58,876 --> 00:33:01,209
- It's not the same, I just,
590
00:33:02,363 --> 00:33:06,530
I could use a spiritual
guide on my vision quest.
591
00:33:07,007 --> 00:33:08,313
- Oh, wow, man, uh.
592
00:33:08,313 --> 00:33:09,881
- Oh, sorry, I didn't
mean to freak you out,
593
00:33:09,881 --> 00:33:11,962
I know it's, we haven seen
each other in forever,
594
00:33:11,962 --> 00:33:15,579
and, I don't know, I'm
digging the vibe here tonight.
595
00:33:15,579 --> 00:33:17,148
- Um,
596
00:33:17,148 --> 00:33:18,105
yeah.
597
00:33:18,105 --> 00:33:19,671
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
598
00:33:19,671 --> 00:33:20,504
- Seriously?
599
00:33:20,504 --> 00:33:21,337
- [Ivan] Yeah, yeah.
600
00:33:21,337 --> 00:33:22,170
- I mean, it's short notice,
601
00:33:22,170 --> 00:33:23,390
Gandalf's not gonna be pissed, is he?
602
00:33:23,390 --> 00:33:24,710
- No, that's, no, it's fine,
603
00:33:24,710 --> 00:33:26,544
I think that'll actually
be a good place for me
604
00:33:26,544 --> 00:33:30,197
to just unplug and practice
all this voodoo shit.
605
00:33:30,197 --> 00:33:32,873
- Yes, awesome, this is great.
606
00:33:32,873 --> 00:33:35,363
Look, I'll tell you all
about it after I pee,
607
00:33:35,363 --> 00:33:37,184
I'll be right back.
608
00:33:37,184 --> 00:33:40,684
(dissonant ambient music)
609
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,697
(wind blows)
610
00:33:50,389 --> 00:33:53,958
(train clatters)
611
00:33:53,958 --> 00:33:57,041
(slow ambient music)
612
00:33:59,368 --> 00:34:02,598
(traffic roars)
613
00:34:02,598 --> 00:34:05,681
(slow ambient music)
614
00:34:19,652 --> 00:34:22,645
(pen scrawls)
615
00:34:22,645 --> 00:34:25,728
(slow ambient music)
616
00:34:47,804 --> 00:34:51,711
(slow rhythmic pulses)
617
00:34:51,711 --> 00:34:54,794
(slow ambient music)
618
00:35:12,458 --> 00:35:16,625
(moves into slow orchestral music)
619
00:35:32,777 --> 00:35:35,860
(slow ambient music)
620
00:35:49,368 --> 00:35:52,201
(spider skitters)
621
00:35:54,954 --> 00:35:58,978
(dissonant orchestral music)
622
00:35:58,978 --> 00:36:02,052
(spider skitters)
623
00:36:02,052 --> 00:36:05,867
(dissonant orchestral music)
624
00:36:05,867 --> 00:36:08,881
(spider skitters)
625
00:36:08,881 --> 00:36:12,631
(dissonant orchestral music)
626
00:36:21,595 --> 00:36:24,095
(birds chirp)
627
00:36:33,517 --> 00:36:36,100
(pages rustle)
628
00:36:38,669 --> 00:36:41,169
(pen scrawls)
629
00:36:43,064 --> 00:36:45,564
(birds chirp)
630
00:36:57,425 --> 00:36:59,176
- [Television] Rain around
the Chicago area today
631
00:36:59,176 --> 00:37:00,517
temperatures are holding at--
632
00:37:00,517 --> 00:37:01,596
- [Ivan] Hey, Mom.
633
00:37:01,596 --> 00:37:04,475
- Hey, where have you been hiding?
634
00:37:04,475 --> 00:37:06,091
I haven't seen you for awhile.
635
00:37:06,091 --> 00:37:07,388
- [Ivan] Yeah, there was no hiding,
636
00:37:07,388 --> 00:37:10,109
I was just at a friend's
place, having a drink.
637
00:37:10,109 --> 00:37:12,963
- You have an appointment
this morning, right?
638
00:37:12,963 --> 00:37:14,630
- [Ivan] Yeah, I do.
639
00:37:16,126 --> 00:37:19,721
- Are you still not taking your pills?
640
00:37:19,721 --> 00:37:22,524
(door slams)
641
00:37:22,524 --> 00:37:25,420
- I can't, I can't handle that stuff.
642
00:37:25,420 --> 00:37:26,949
- I know you don't want to hear this,
643
00:37:26,949 --> 00:37:29,790
but I think that's a bad
idea, your doctor said
644
00:37:29,790 --> 00:37:31,967
that the side effects might
improve it if you just--
645
00:37:31,967 --> 00:37:33,673
- No, Mom, I don't know how
many ways I can tell you
646
00:37:33,673 --> 00:37:36,963
that that stuff makes
me want to kill myself.
647
00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:38,895
Look, I'm honestly
saying I'd rather be dead
648
00:37:38,895 --> 00:37:41,696
than spend the rest of
my life on that shit.
649
00:37:41,696 --> 00:37:45,433
I'd rather be crazy, for that matter.
650
00:37:45,433 --> 00:37:49,240
Look, it's not an easy situation, okay?
651
00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:51,407
But that's just how it is.
652
00:37:53,970 --> 00:37:56,968
- I just don't want to lose my son,
653
00:37:56,968 --> 00:37:58,984
does that make me a crazy person?
654
00:37:58,984 --> 00:38:02,945
- I know you don't, Mom,
but you want your son
655
00:38:02,945 --> 00:38:04,945
to like his life, right?
656
00:38:09,202 --> 00:38:10,202
- Come here.
657
00:38:13,686 --> 00:38:14,519
I do.
658
00:38:16,113 --> 00:38:18,280
I do want you to be happy.
659
00:38:20,119 --> 00:38:21,119
- Thank you.
660
00:38:22,699 --> 00:38:25,484
(door creaks)
661
00:38:25,484 --> 00:38:28,567
(slow ambient music)
662
00:38:31,887 --> 00:38:32,970
Are you okay?
663
00:38:35,841 --> 00:38:37,921
Seriously, are you okay?
664
00:38:37,921 --> 00:38:41,004
(slow ambient music)
665
00:38:43,241 --> 00:38:46,038
- I'm gonna break it off with him.
666
00:38:46,038 --> 00:38:46,977
I think.
667
00:38:46,977 --> 00:38:49,885
(slow ambient music)
668
00:38:49,885 --> 00:38:51,528
- [Ivan] What happened?
669
00:38:51,528 --> 00:38:52,593
- You know what happened.
670
00:38:52,593 --> 00:38:55,010
(door shuts)
671
00:38:57,900 --> 00:38:59,483
What are you doing?
672
00:39:00,691 --> 00:39:02,315
- You, you invited me over.
673
00:39:02,315 --> 00:39:06,482
- No, you idiot, why
are you going with him?
674
00:39:06,742 --> 00:39:09,811
- Look, I know it's weird,
I know how it looks,
675
00:39:09,811 --> 00:39:11,319
it's fucking weird.
676
00:39:11,319 --> 00:39:12,486
- Yeah, it is.
677
00:39:15,593 --> 00:39:17,510
- I have some problems.
678
00:39:19,175 --> 00:39:20,194
Some health problems,
679
00:39:20,194 --> 00:39:23,891
and I think it's a
really good idea if I go.
680
00:39:23,891 --> 00:39:25,124
- What's wrong?
681
00:39:25,124 --> 00:39:26,803
You're sick?
682
00:39:26,803 --> 00:39:28,303
- It's just, it's,
683
00:39:29,827 --> 00:39:32,050
it's just kind of hard to talk about, so.
684
00:39:32,050 --> 00:39:33,550
I, sometimes it's,
685
00:39:37,010 --> 00:39:38,308
can you do me a favor, could we wait
686
00:39:38,308 --> 00:39:41,225
to talk about this when I get back?
687
00:39:42,188 --> 00:39:44,361
I know it's a lot and it's kind
688
00:39:44,361 --> 00:39:46,944
of fucked up for me to do, but.
689
00:39:49,089 --> 00:39:51,988
But I hope you believe me, Emily,
690
00:39:51,988 --> 00:39:55,923
when I say I like you a lot, 'cause I do,
691
00:39:55,923 --> 00:39:59,914
and this trip isn't gonna change that,
692
00:39:59,914 --> 00:40:04,081
and I hope someday you can
understand why I'm going
693
00:40:05,416 --> 00:40:08,920
and maybe forgive me for
fucking you up in the process.
694
00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:12,253
(slow electronic music)
695
00:40:13,176 --> 00:40:15,676
- So is this thing contagious?
696
00:40:16,963 --> 00:40:18,299
- No.
697
00:40:18,299 --> 00:40:21,632
(slow electronic music)
698
00:40:26,295 --> 00:40:29,212
(jet engines roar)
699
00:40:34,838 --> 00:40:38,588
(dissonant orchestral music)
700
00:41:02,643 --> 00:41:05,165
- [John] Oh, one bed, well,
701
00:41:05,165 --> 00:41:08,357
at least it's big enough for both of us.
702
00:41:08,357 --> 00:41:09,599
- [Ivan] I'll take the floor.
703
00:41:09,599 --> 00:41:13,766
- Why, I need to cuddle
and be warm with my baby.
704
00:41:14,293 --> 00:41:15,755
- No, that's fine.
- Gonna snuggle.
705
00:41:15,755 --> 00:41:16,962
- John, John, it's fine, it's fine.
706
00:41:16,962 --> 00:41:18,729
- Alright, no, I got the floor, I insist.
707
00:41:18,729 --> 00:41:21,234
- No, no, no, no, you
brought me out here, so.
708
00:41:21,234 --> 00:41:22,901
- Alright, whatever.
709
00:41:24,551 --> 00:41:28,081
This is great, man, thanks
for coming out with me.
710
00:41:28,081 --> 00:41:29,581
- Yeah, of course.
711
00:41:30,431 --> 00:41:31,764
- You tired yet?
712
00:41:32,839 --> 00:41:33,922
- Not really.
713
00:41:51,251 --> 00:41:54,947
Look, I don't know where
you got this idea from,
714
00:41:54,947 --> 00:41:57,614
no, she's just, she found me, I,
715
00:41:59,199 --> 00:42:02,468
I would never do that, Emily, no.
716
00:42:02,468 --> 00:42:03,645
No, I didn't fuck her.
717
00:42:03,645 --> 00:42:04,728
- Ivan.
718
00:42:04,728 --> 00:42:05,561
- [Ivan] No.
719
00:42:05,561 --> 00:42:06,488
- Ivan.
720
00:42:06,488 --> 00:42:08,280
- [Ivan] Look, I agree, you're a good guy.
721
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:09,113
- Ivan.
722
00:42:09,113 --> 00:42:10,144
- Yeah, yes?
723
00:42:10,144 --> 00:42:13,715
- [John] You're talking in your sleep.
724
00:42:13,715 --> 00:42:14,548
- Really?
725
00:42:15,946 --> 00:42:20,113
- Yeah, you just said you
didn't fuck my fiance.
726
00:42:20,451 --> 00:42:22,245
- I must have, um.
727
00:42:22,245 --> 00:42:26,412
- You dreaming I was
interrogating your or something?
728
00:42:26,811 --> 00:42:28,894
- Yeah, yeah, I think so.
729
00:42:30,854 --> 00:42:32,732
That really didn't just happen?
730
00:42:32,732 --> 00:42:36,899
- No, I've been asleep for
like, an hour and a half.
731
00:42:37,852 --> 00:42:40,949
- Look, I'm sorry, I'm out of it,
732
00:42:40,949 --> 00:42:44,044
I haven't drank that much in awhile.
733
00:42:44,044 --> 00:42:45,794
- It's all good, man.
734
00:42:52,388 --> 00:42:53,221
Dumbass.
735
00:42:56,644 --> 00:42:58,757
- You've been to this spot before?
736
00:42:58,757 --> 00:43:02,072
- Not this exact spot, but
I've heard good things.
737
00:43:02,072 --> 00:43:04,049
- Private beach?
738
00:43:04,049 --> 00:43:06,776
- Not exactly, it's pretty far in,
739
00:43:06,776 --> 00:43:09,100
most people don't hike all the way in.
740
00:43:09,100 --> 00:43:09,933
- Awesome.
741
00:43:12,225 --> 00:43:14,058
- Thank you very much.
742
00:43:19,420 --> 00:43:20,832
What?
743
00:43:20,832 --> 00:43:21,944
- What the fuck was that?
744
00:43:21,944 --> 00:43:22,777
- [John] What?
745
00:43:22,777 --> 00:43:25,001
- That shit eating grin.
746
00:43:25,001 --> 00:43:26,368
- Politeness?
747
00:43:26,368 --> 00:43:27,201
- Right.
748
00:43:28,310 --> 00:43:32,477
- Plus I'm not married yet (chuckles).
749
00:43:32,681 --> 00:43:34,024
What, Jiminy Cricket, what?
750
00:43:34,024 --> 00:43:35,845
- It's just douchey,
man, we used to make fun
751
00:43:35,845 --> 00:43:39,356
of assholes that did shit like that.
752
00:43:39,356 --> 00:43:42,580
- How long have you had a thing for Emily?
753
00:43:42,580 --> 00:43:44,315
Just curious, no big deal.
754
00:43:44,315 --> 00:43:45,323
- That's not what this is.
755
00:43:45,323 --> 00:43:48,334
- Right, you're talking in your sleep,
756
00:43:48,334 --> 00:43:50,899
this weird protection of her,
757
00:43:50,899 --> 00:43:53,374
I get it, it's way fucking obvious.
758
00:43:53,374 --> 00:43:56,089
- Look, I don't want
there to be any bad blood,
759
00:43:56,089 --> 00:43:58,874
there's nothing going on.
760
00:43:58,874 --> 00:43:59,707
- Okay.
761
00:44:04,687 --> 00:44:06,622
- Here, show me on this thing
again where we're going?
762
00:44:06,622 --> 00:44:07,455
- Alright.
763
00:44:09,419 --> 00:44:11,930
So we're gonna, here we are,
764
00:44:11,930 --> 00:44:15,977
follow this ridge down to this area here,
765
00:44:15,977 --> 00:44:18,721
it's pretty steep, we won't
exactly have to rappel
766
00:44:18,721 --> 00:44:21,032
or anything, but it'll be hairy,
767
00:44:21,032 --> 00:44:24,642
then we'll cut over here
about two and a half hours,
768
00:44:24,642 --> 00:44:26,520
and then we'll be at
our home away from home
769
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:28,032
for the next two weeks.
770
00:44:28,032 --> 00:44:29,570
- Anything out there that can kill us?
771
00:44:29,570 --> 00:44:32,299
- Yeah, being stupid, falling off a cliff.
772
00:44:32,299 --> 00:44:34,584
- What about, like, snakes, or?
773
00:44:34,584 --> 00:44:37,537
- It's bear country, mountain lions,
774
00:44:37,537 --> 00:44:38,728
but if you're loud enough on the trail,
775
00:44:38,728 --> 00:44:40,228
they'll stay away.
776
00:44:42,155 --> 00:44:44,552
The land, though, is
owned by the government,
777
00:44:44,552 --> 00:44:47,385
so if anyone asks, just play dumb.
778
00:44:50,795 --> 00:44:52,054
- That would have been a lot easier
779
00:44:52,054 --> 00:44:54,742
to do before you said anything.
780
00:44:54,742 --> 00:44:56,071
- Sorry.
781
00:44:56,071 --> 00:44:58,612
(Ivan chuckles)
782
00:44:58,612 --> 00:45:02,529
(avant-garde orchestral music)
783
00:45:30,378 --> 00:45:32,467
So if we keep heading west,
784
00:45:32,467 --> 00:45:35,300
we should be in pretty good shape.
785
00:45:36,308 --> 00:45:40,475
Worse comes to worse, my
cellphone's mostly charged.
786
00:45:40,789 --> 00:45:42,352
(Ivan laughs)
787
00:45:42,352 --> 00:45:46,269
(avant-garde orchestral music)
788
00:46:02,629 --> 00:46:06,129
(water trickles)
789
00:46:06,129 --> 00:46:10,046
(avant-garde orchestral music)
790
00:47:01,867 --> 00:47:04,496
(waves crash)
791
00:47:04,496 --> 00:47:07,163
(sand crunches)
792
00:47:17,138 --> 00:47:19,359
What do you think?
793
00:47:19,359 --> 00:47:21,859
(waves crash)
794
00:47:26,788 --> 00:47:27,621
- Awesome.
795
00:47:30,350 --> 00:47:34,267
(avant-garde orchestral music)
796
00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:06,720
I'm gonna pass out.
797
00:48:06,720 --> 00:48:10,887
(avant-garde orchestral music)
798
00:48:11,062 --> 00:48:14,183
- [Ivan] I need a little more this way.
799
00:48:14,183 --> 00:48:18,100
(avant-garde orchestral music)
800
00:48:26,305 --> 00:48:28,433
- [John] Can't believe how many stars.
801
00:48:28,433 --> 00:48:31,100
(fire crackles)
802
00:48:32,185 --> 00:48:36,352
- And this is why the city sucks (laughs).
803
00:48:36,792 --> 00:48:40,125
- Yeah, wish I knew more constellations.
804
00:48:41,873 --> 00:48:44,623
(lighter clicks)
805
00:48:45,499 --> 00:48:47,832
You're an aliens guy, right?
806
00:48:49,209 --> 00:48:51,930
I feel like I remember that.
807
00:48:51,930 --> 00:48:56,074
We're not alone in the
universe, according to Ivan.
808
00:48:56,074 --> 00:48:56,907
- No.
809
00:48:57,922 --> 00:49:01,140
No, I'd say we're the only planet
810
00:49:01,140 --> 00:49:02,708
in the whole universe comprised
811
00:49:02,708 --> 00:49:06,083
of over a billion galaxies
that has life on it,
812
00:49:06,083 --> 00:49:09,316
I mean, that's obvious, right?
813
00:49:09,316 --> 00:49:11,624
Forget the fact that we've discovered
814
00:49:11,624 --> 00:49:14,097
over 2,000 exoplanets,
815
00:49:14,097 --> 00:49:17,180
30 of which are in the habitable zone
816
00:49:19,106 --> 00:49:20,631
that we know of, so.
817
00:49:20,631 --> 00:49:22,175
- Sorry I asked.
818
00:49:22,175 --> 00:49:26,342
- I mean, it's ridiculous
to think that we're alone.
819
00:49:28,529 --> 00:49:30,309
- I don't know, I agree with that,
820
00:49:30,309 --> 00:49:34,476
I guess, but I just, I don't
know, what about the farmers,
821
00:49:36,580 --> 00:49:38,667
talking about their
cows getting probed, or.
822
00:49:38,667 --> 00:49:40,462
- [Ivan] Jesus.
823
00:49:40,462 --> 00:49:42,712
- Spacecraft crashing, and.
824
00:49:44,494 --> 00:49:47,529
Do you think we've got
ET locked up somewhere?
825
00:49:47,529 --> 00:49:50,279
- Maybe, maybe life as we know it
826
00:49:51,968 --> 00:49:54,865
travels through the universe on a comet,
827
00:49:54,865 --> 00:49:57,115
or meteor, or spacecraft.
828
00:49:59,362 --> 00:50:00,445
- [John] Huh.
829
00:50:01,425 --> 00:50:04,342
- Maybe life has always been around
830
00:50:05,487 --> 00:50:07,404
in one form or another.
831
00:50:08,728 --> 00:50:11,061
- The important question is,
832
00:50:13,088 --> 00:50:16,296
has anybody ever fucked an alien?
833
00:50:16,296 --> 00:50:18,963
(fire crackles)
834
00:50:20,244 --> 00:50:22,231
- God, I hope so.
835
00:50:22,231 --> 00:50:25,228
(both laugh)
836
00:50:25,228 --> 00:50:26,061
- Me too.
837
00:50:27,174 --> 00:50:31,341
I bet they've got way more holes (laughs).
838
00:50:32,816 --> 00:50:34,256
- Like a flute.
839
00:50:34,256 --> 00:50:36,011
(both laugh)
840
00:50:36,011 --> 00:50:39,271
Wait, (mumbles), under a flute,
841
00:50:39,271 --> 00:50:43,157
they're all, those are all holes.
842
00:50:43,157 --> 00:50:44,796
- [John] It plays music.
843
00:50:44,796 --> 00:50:45,629
(John sings)
844
00:50:45,629 --> 00:50:47,625
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, that's exactly it.
845
00:50:47,625 --> 00:50:48,970
- [John] We're both thinking it.
846
00:50:48,970 --> 00:50:52,256
- [Ivan] That's exactly
what I was thinking.
847
00:50:52,256 --> 00:50:54,201
- [John] Oh, God.
848
00:50:54,201 --> 00:50:55,898
(Ivan sings)
849
00:50:55,898 --> 00:50:57,366
- No, not, not right there.
850
00:50:57,366 --> 00:50:59,065
(Ivan sings)
851
00:50:59,065 --> 00:50:59,898
Yeah, you hit it.
852
00:50:59,898 --> 00:51:00,867
(John sings)
853
00:51:00,867 --> 00:51:03,950
You hit it (laughs).
854
00:51:04,843 --> 00:51:08,093
- [John] That's the dumbest thing ever.
855
00:51:12,276 --> 00:51:15,609
(slow electronic music)
856
00:51:16,867 --> 00:51:19,927
(waves crash)
857
00:51:19,927 --> 00:51:23,260
(slow electronic music)
858
00:51:39,783 --> 00:51:41,839
♪ Welcome to the jungle, baby ♪
859
00:51:41,839 --> 00:51:43,647
♪ We got fun and games ♪
860
00:51:43,647 --> 00:51:45,829
♪ Like Skee-ball and pop a shot ♪
861
00:51:45,829 --> 00:51:48,366
♪ And pizza night is Thursday night ♪
862
00:51:48,366 --> 00:51:50,253
♪ So why not stay and play ♪
863
00:51:50,253 --> 00:51:51,920
♪ We got prices that will bring you ♪
864
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:53,010
♪ To your ♪
865
00:51:53,010 --> 00:51:54,509
♪ Sha na na na na na na ♪
866
00:51:54,509 --> 00:51:56,315
♪ Knees, knees ♪
867
00:51:56,315 --> 00:51:57,148
(Ivan laughs)
868
00:51:57,148 --> 00:51:58,179
- So dumb.
869
00:51:58,179 --> 00:52:01,427
- Oh, man, if I never
seen another billboard
870
00:52:01,427 --> 00:52:04,815
or hear another commercial
again, I'm all set.
871
00:52:04,815 --> 00:52:06,360
- Amen.
872
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:08,860
(waves crash)
873
00:52:10,929 --> 00:52:12,945
- So what next?
874
00:52:12,945 --> 00:52:16,862
(avant-garde orchestral music)
875
00:52:17,982 --> 00:52:19,469
- You see that big one?
876
00:52:19,469 --> 00:52:20,967
Right by the dead tree?
877
00:52:20,967 --> 00:52:22,384
- Yeah, I see it.
878
00:52:25,208 --> 00:52:26,041
- Now.
879
00:52:26,918 --> 00:52:29,418
(waves crash)
880
00:52:42,063 --> 00:52:45,270
You know, when I first
came up with this idea,
881
00:52:45,270 --> 00:52:48,597
I thought about coming by myself,
882
00:52:48,597 --> 00:52:50,029
and then Em mentioned your name,
883
00:52:50,029 --> 00:52:54,196
and I was like, fuck,
yeah, Ivan, of course!
884
00:52:54,302 --> 00:52:58,181
It's a tragedy that you and
I haven't seen each other
885
00:52:58,181 --> 00:53:00,514
in as long as it's been, so.
886
00:53:02,406 --> 00:53:04,860
It's good to have you here.
887
00:53:04,860 --> 00:53:05,742
- Thanks.
888
00:53:05,742 --> 00:53:06,575
- And
889
00:53:07,557 --> 00:53:10,474
being around people that you trust.
890
00:53:13,773 --> 00:53:15,409
That's all there is.
891
00:53:15,409 --> 00:53:17,326
- Yeah, yeah, for sure.
892
00:53:18,275 --> 00:53:21,025
(crickets chirp)
893
00:53:23,782 --> 00:53:26,365
Why didn't you bring her along?
894
00:53:30,138 --> 00:53:32,121
- Em and I are fine.
895
00:53:32,121 --> 00:53:34,994
(slow electronic music)
896
00:53:34,994 --> 00:53:35,827
But
897
00:53:39,301 --> 00:53:43,468
sometimes I think about
all the years ahead of us,
898
00:53:45,205 --> 00:53:47,705
just sitting in the same room,
899
00:53:49,743 --> 00:53:51,804
watching each other lose our minds,
900
00:53:51,804 --> 00:53:54,221
you know, the great collapse.
901
00:53:57,263 --> 00:54:00,175
I think about cleaning up
after our would be kids,
902
00:54:00,175 --> 00:54:04,175
and all the shit that
goes along with that, and.
903
00:54:08,498 --> 00:54:12,331
It just feels like it
could be so suffocating.
904
00:54:13,584 --> 00:54:17,493
So I want to extend the chapter preceding.
905
00:54:17,493 --> 00:54:20,826
(slow electronic music)
906
00:54:24,036 --> 00:54:26,369
- I doubt it'll be that bad.
907
00:54:27,438 --> 00:54:30,208
(slow electronic music)
908
00:54:30,208 --> 00:54:32,982
- Yeah, you're probably right.
909
00:54:32,982 --> 00:54:35,732
(crickets chirp)
910
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:40,780
Hope you're right.
911
00:54:48,788 --> 00:54:51,641
(birds chirp)
912
00:54:51,641 --> 00:54:55,391
(dissonant orchestral music)
913
00:54:58,130 --> 00:55:00,630
(birds chirp)
914
00:55:01,828 --> 00:55:05,578
(dissonant orchestral music)
915
00:55:15,839 --> 00:55:18,968
(Ivan screams)
916
00:55:18,968 --> 00:55:21,570
(dissonant orchestral music)
917
00:55:21,570 --> 00:55:24,329
(Ivan screams)
918
00:55:24,329 --> 00:55:28,249
(dissonant orchestral music)
919
00:55:28,249 --> 00:55:29,082
Ivan, hey.
920
00:55:30,545 --> 00:55:31,889
Ivan.
921
00:55:31,889 --> 00:55:33,038
Fuck.
922
00:55:33,038 --> 00:55:33,871
You okay?
923
00:55:33,871 --> 00:55:35,230
I'm coming in.
924
00:55:35,230 --> 00:55:37,765
(dissonant orchestral music)
925
00:55:37,765 --> 00:55:39,039
- [Ivan] It's not my fault.
926
00:55:39,039 --> 00:55:41,039
- What's not your fault?
927
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:43,881
What's not your fault?
928
00:55:43,881 --> 00:55:47,118
Hey, hey, hey, shh, shh, shh, shh.
929
00:55:47,118 --> 00:55:48,449
Hey, it's okay.
930
00:55:48,449 --> 00:55:49,453
(Ivan coughs)
931
00:55:49,453 --> 00:55:52,325
- Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
932
00:55:52,325 --> 00:55:53,158
- We're all good.
933
00:55:53,158 --> 00:55:54,961
- I'm sorry.
934
00:55:54,961 --> 00:55:55,826
I'm sorry.
935
00:55:55,826 --> 00:55:56,659
- Fuck.
936
00:55:57,714 --> 00:56:01,464
(dissonant orchestral music)
937
00:56:05,292 --> 00:56:07,792
(waves crash)
938
00:56:17,876 --> 00:56:19,363
It's all you.
939
00:56:19,363 --> 00:56:21,863
(waves crash)
940
00:56:23,102 --> 00:56:23,935
- Thanks.
941
00:56:26,940 --> 00:56:29,935
- Before we head in,
you sure you don't want
942
00:56:29,935 --> 00:56:32,693
to get a return ticket, get out of here?
943
00:56:32,693 --> 00:56:35,004
I've got no problem doing that for you.
944
00:56:35,004 --> 00:56:36,337
- No, it's fine.
945
00:56:38,422 --> 00:56:42,291
I just feel terrible,
I should have told you.
946
00:56:42,291 --> 00:56:43,561
- It's cool, man, I just need
947
00:56:43,561 --> 00:56:46,548
to know you're going to be okay.
948
00:56:46,548 --> 00:56:48,965
- It's not usually like that.
949
00:56:51,043 --> 00:56:52,626
That was different.
950
00:56:54,866 --> 00:56:58,924
It must be the booze, or
me being off my routine,
951
00:56:58,924 --> 00:57:02,090
or something, it's fucking with me.
952
00:57:02,090 --> 00:57:03,173
- What is it?
953
00:57:05,083 --> 00:57:08,333
- Schizoaffective disorder, they think.
954
00:57:10,431 --> 00:57:14,101
I get paranoid and sometimes hallucinate.
955
00:57:14,101 --> 00:57:16,601
(waves crash)
956
00:57:19,895 --> 00:57:22,893
Yeah, that's how I looked
when they first diagnosed me.
957
00:57:22,893 --> 00:57:25,976
- What do they do, how do you fix it?
958
00:57:27,948 --> 00:57:30,830
- I'm supposed to be on meds.
959
00:57:30,830 --> 00:57:34,076
But the last time I took
those longer than a week,
960
00:57:34,076 --> 00:57:38,111
I couldn't stop dreaming
up ways to kill myself.
961
00:57:38,111 --> 00:57:40,528
- And if you don't take them?
962
00:57:41,567 --> 00:57:44,771
- Then down the rabbit hole I go.
963
00:57:44,771 --> 00:57:48,104
(slow orchestral music)
964
00:57:52,260 --> 00:57:56,015
Alright, I think I'm gonna
go do my meditation thing,
965
00:57:56,015 --> 00:57:58,255
it helps calm the nerves.
966
00:57:58,255 --> 00:58:00,678
- Hey, I don't want to mess
with your mojo or whatever,
967
00:58:00,678 --> 00:58:04,542
but do you mind teaching me how you do it?
968
00:58:04,542 --> 00:58:07,042
(waves crash)
969
00:58:12,007 --> 00:58:14,502
- The goal is to remain
present without a bombardment
970
00:58:14,502 --> 00:58:17,335
of thoughts, just clear your mind.
971
00:58:18,826 --> 00:58:22,993
- No thoughts, that should
be easy for an idiot like me.
972
00:58:23,126 --> 00:58:25,981
- It's a lot harder than it seems,
973
00:58:25,981 --> 00:58:29,690
you're thinking without even realizing it.
974
00:58:29,690 --> 00:58:31,357
Just close your eyes
975
00:58:33,008 --> 00:58:34,175
and breathe in
976
00:58:36,130 --> 00:58:39,463
and feel your weight sink into the sand.
977
00:58:41,393 --> 00:58:44,593
You hear the waves in the distance?
978
00:58:44,593 --> 00:58:45,426
- Yeah.
979
00:58:46,282 --> 00:58:49,194
- Just focus on that,
just focus on that sound
980
00:58:49,194 --> 00:58:50,861
and that sound only.
981
00:58:52,300 --> 00:58:53,744
If a thought enters your mind,
982
00:58:53,744 --> 00:58:57,661
just let it float out to
sea with the next wave
983
00:58:59,300 --> 00:59:00,633
and the next one
984
00:59:03,388 --> 00:59:04,721
and the next one
985
00:59:06,607 --> 00:59:08,231
and so on.
986
00:59:08,231 --> 00:59:10,731
(waves crash)
987
00:59:22,148 --> 00:59:24,328
- My leg's asleep.
988
00:59:24,328 --> 00:59:26,828
(waves crash)
989
00:59:29,614 --> 00:59:31,197
This is impossible.
990
00:59:33,546 --> 00:59:36,214
It's impossible not to think.
991
00:59:36,214 --> 00:59:38,714
(waves crash)
992
00:59:39,981 --> 00:59:40,814
Hey.
993
00:59:42,432 --> 00:59:43,265
Hey!
994
00:59:46,531 --> 00:59:48,594
I'm gonna head down the
beach, take a look around.
995
00:59:48,594 --> 00:59:52,430
Feel free to join me when
you're done pretending.
996
00:59:52,430 --> 00:59:54,930
(waves crash)
997
01:00:06,731 --> 01:00:09,314
(insects buzz)
998
01:00:12,008 --> 01:00:14,508
(stick snaps)
999
01:00:16,627 --> 01:00:19,210
(insects buzz)
1000
01:00:23,082 --> 01:00:27,249
Jesus, fuck, you scared
the shit out of me, dude.
1001
01:00:27,913 --> 01:00:30,739
You've been gone for like, 10 hours.
1002
01:00:30,739 --> 01:00:33,972
The sun's going down, so we'll
have to go to town tomorrow.
1003
01:00:33,972 --> 01:00:37,444
- Sorry, when I'm in, I'm in deep.
1004
01:00:37,444 --> 01:00:38,508
- Gross.
1005
01:00:38,508 --> 01:00:39,841
(both laugh)
1006
01:00:39,841 --> 01:00:42,275
Hey, help me find some
more shit to burn, huh?
1007
01:00:42,275 --> 01:00:43,649
- Sure.
1008
01:00:43,649 --> 01:00:46,232
(insects buzz)
1009
01:00:48,812 --> 01:00:50,812
- So I've been thinking.
1010
01:00:53,137 --> 01:00:54,554
And is that whole
1011
01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:57,853
scientist wizard
1012
01:00:59,892 --> 01:01:02,309
out of body study thing real?
1013
01:01:05,217 --> 01:01:06,050
- What?
1014
01:01:07,190 --> 01:01:08,023
Yeah, it's--
1015
01:01:08,023 --> 01:01:08,856
- [John] They work with a lot
1016
01:01:08,856 --> 01:01:11,356
of Schizoaffective people, or?
1017
01:01:13,578 --> 01:01:15,518
- Yeah, I mean, it's just--
1018
01:01:15,518 --> 01:01:17,185
- Do they even know?
1019
01:01:19,313 --> 01:01:23,480
- Look, I get it, and you're
right to be skeptical,
1020
01:01:26,750 --> 01:01:27,583
it's.
1021
01:01:28,992 --> 01:01:32,559
- I'm not judging at
all, I'm just curious.
1022
01:01:32,559 --> 01:01:35,226
(fire crackles)
1023
01:01:39,757 --> 01:01:41,616
- It's mostly true.
1024
01:01:41,616 --> 01:01:44,283
(fire crackles)
1025
01:01:47,022 --> 01:01:48,715
- Which parts?
1026
01:01:48,715 --> 01:01:51,798
(slow ambient music)
1027
01:01:55,123 --> 01:01:56,506
- The scientist guy's a real guy,
1028
01:01:56,506 --> 01:01:59,173
but I don't know him personally.
1029
01:02:01,621 --> 01:02:04,862
I follow his writings, but
I'm not part of the study,
1030
01:02:04,862 --> 01:02:06,921
there is no study.
1031
01:02:06,921 --> 01:02:09,640
(fire crackles)
1032
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:12,140
I just thought his
teachings would be something
1033
01:02:12,140 --> 01:02:14,433
to help my situation.
1034
01:02:14,433 --> 01:02:18,172
(slow ambient music)
1035
01:02:18,172 --> 01:02:20,537
- Are you in school, is that even true?
1036
01:02:20,537 --> 01:02:22,680
- Yeah, part time.
1037
01:02:22,680 --> 01:02:25,347
(fire crackles)
1038
01:02:27,358 --> 01:02:29,358
Look, what would you do?
1039
01:02:32,566 --> 01:02:35,483
I'm losing time, and I'm losing it.
1040
01:02:37,198 --> 01:02:40,070
- I just don't want to
see a friend get hurt
1041
01:02:40,070 --> 01:02:44,237
studying the writings of
some bullshit, new age guru.
1042
01:02:45,936 --> 01:02:46,971
- Too late.
1043
01:02:46,971 --> 01:02:49,638
(fire crackles)
1044
01:02:54,519 --> 01:02:57,080
And I don't think meditation
is the leading cause
1045
01:02:57,080 --> 01:02:58,580
of death anywhere.
1046
01:02:59,668 --> 01:03:01,448
- It's not the meditation
I'm worried about,
1047
01:03:01,448 --> 01:03:05,031
it's what you're not doing medically.
1048
01:03:05,031 --> 01:03:08,476
(fire crackles)
1049
01:03:08,476 --> 01:03:10,926
What is it you're trying
to achieve, anyway?
1050
01:03:10,926 --> 01:03:13,093
- Just a little more time.
1051
01:03:15,069 --> 01:03:18,510
Just more time, as a clear-headed person
1052
01:03:18,510 --> 01:03:21,476
that's not a burden on anyone.
1053
01:03:21,476 --> 01:03:24,143
(fire crackles)
1054
01:03:25,049 --> 01:03:28,132
(slow ambient music)
1055
01:03:33,684 --> 01:03:36,184
(birds chirp)
1056
01:03:48,116 --> 01:03:51,866
(dissonant orchestral music)
1057
01:03:52,935 --> 01:03:55,435
(birds chirp)
1058
01:03:58,163 --> 01:04:01,913
(dissonant orchestral music)
1059
01:04:05,146 --> 01:04:07,646
(birds chirp)
1060
01:04:09,846 --> 01:04:13,596
(dissonant orchestral music)
1061
01:04:29,081 --> 01:04:31,581
(birds chirp)
1062
01:04:44,064 --> 01:04:46,564
(pen scrawls)
1063
01:04:49,897 --> 01:04:52,397
(paper tears)
1064
01:04:58,339 --> 01:05:00,839
(birds chirp)
1065
01:05:06,601 --> 01:05:09,018
(wind blows)
1066
01:05:14,553 --> 01:05:17,220
(paper rustles)
1067
01:05:22,531 --> 01:05:23,980
(zipper zips)
1068
01:05:23,980 --> 01:05:27,897
(avant-garde orchestral music)
1069
01:05:55,352 --> 01:05:58,204
(John hollers)
1070
01:05:58,204 --> 01:06:02,121
(avant-garde orchestral music)
1071
01:06:08,295 --> 01:06:10,795
(birds chirp)
1072
01:06:13,460 --> 01:06:17,210
(dissonant orchestral music)
1073
01:06:18,482 --> 01:06:21,399
(foliage crumples)
1074
01:06:24,278 --> 01:06:28,028
(dissonant orchestral music)
1075
01:07:11,644 --> 01:07:12,477
Hi.
1076
01:07:15,815 --> 01:07:18,232
(John chews)
1077
01:07:20,836 --> 01:07:24,586
(dissonant orchestral music)
1078
01:07:25,604 --> 01:07:27,914
(plastic crinkles)
1079
01:07:27,914 --> 01:07:30,664
(phone vibrates)
1080
01:07:34,700 --> 01:07:37,617
(plastic crinkles)
1081
01:07:39,730 --> 01:07:43,480
(dissonant orchestral music)
1082
01:07:53,832 --> 01:07:55,165
- What the fuck?
1083
01:07:58,178 --> 01:08:01,117
(dissonant orchestral music)
1084
01:08:01,117 --> 01:08:01,950
Fuck.
1085
01:08:04,442 --> 01:08:07,752
(dissonant orchestral music)
1086
01:08:07,752 --> 01:08:08,585
Fuck.
1087
01:08:11,119 --> 01:08:14,952
(dissonant orchestral music)
1088
01:09:25,481 --> 01:09:28,398
(foliage crumples)
1089
01:09:31,307 --> 01:09:35,057
(dissonant orchestral music)
1090
01:09:55,519 --> 01:09:58,019
(waves crash)
1091
01:10:00,530 --> 01:10:04,280
(dissonant orchestral music)
1092
01:10:05,933 --> 01:10:08,683
(zipper squeaks)
1093
01:10:10,778 --> 01:10:14,528
(dissonant orchestral music)
1094
01:10:21,669 --> 01:10:23,363
- You alright?
1095
01:10:23,363 --> 01:10:24,485
- Yep.
1096
01:10:24,485 --> 01:10:25,900
Where'd you go off to?
1097
01:10:25,900 --> 01:10:29,162
- Oh, I'd, uh, I thought
I'd go try meditating
1098
01:10:29,162 --> 01:10:31,745
on top of that hill over there.
1099
01:10:32,648 --> 01:10:35,098
- See anything interesting?
1100
01:10:35,098 --> 01:10:36,598
- Only in my mind.
1101
01:10:40,458 --> 01:10:41,793
What's up?
1102
01:10:41,793 --> 01:10:42,784
- I'm gonna head into town
1103
01:10:42,784 --> 01:10:45,784
and pick up some beverages and shit.
1104
01:10:46,644 --> 01:10:47,535
- [Ivan] Okay.
1105
01:10:47,535 --> 01:10:49,202
- [John] You coming?
1106
01:10:50,126 --> 01:10:51,293
- [Ivan] Sure.
1107
01:10:52,422 --> 01:10:56,172
(dissonant orchestral music)
1108
01:11:11,619 --> 01:11:12,452
- What?
1109
01:11:15,129 --> 01:11:19,296
(dissonant orchestral music)
1110
01:11:19,662 --> 01:11:21,569
What are you talking about?
1111
01:11:21,569 --> 01:11:22,402
How?
1112
01:11:23,736 --> 01:11:26,319
(John mumbles)
1113
01:11:28,370 --> 01:11:32,287
(avant-garde orchestral music)
1114
01:11:48,902 --> 01:11:51,699
(fire crackles)
1115
01:11:51,699 --> 01:11:54,199
(waves crash)
1116
01:11:55,398 --> 01:11:56,231
Poker?
1117
01:11:57,816 --> 01:11:59,381
(waves crash)
1118
01:11:59,381 --> 01:12:01,580
- No, I suck at it.
1119
01:12:01,580 --> 01:12:04,087
(waves crash)
1120
01:12:04,087 --> 01:12:05,670
- Who gives a shit?
1121
01:12:10,907 --> 01:12:12,349
- I'm good.
1122
01:12:12,349 --> 01:12:13,766
- Come on, bitch.
1123
01:12:16,312 --> 01:12:19,474
(waves crash)
1124
01:12:19,474 --> 01:12:22,696
(John laughs)
1125
01:12:22,696 --> 01:12:24,279
Yeah, there you go.
1126
01:12:26,601 --> 01:12:28,744
- You should eat something.
1127
01:12:28,744 --> 01:12:32,911
- Not hungry, I haven't
been hungry all fucking day.
1128
01:12:36,225 --> 01:12:38,532
So why can't you drink?
1129
01:12:38,532 --> 01:12:41,365
What's it do to your busted brain?
1130
01:12:42,258 --> 01:12:43,675
- I get confused.
1131
01:12:47,259 --> 01:12:49,082
(John spits)
1132
01:12:49,082 --> 01:12:52,082
- That little sip make you confused?
1133
01:12:53,745 --> 01:12:55,412
- Not right now, no.
1134
01:12:57,441 --> 01:12:59,858
- Come on, man, get confused.
1135
01:13:01,124 --> 01:13:02,957
Don't be such a pussy.
1136
01:13:04,035 --> 01:13:06,290
- So what are the stakes?
1137
01:13:06,290 --> 01:13:08,790
(John laughs)
1138
01:13:10,169 --> 01:13:12,995
- [John] Oh, fucking, perfect.
1139
01:13:12,995 --> 01:13:14,608
- What?
1140
01:13:14,608 --> 01:13:17,108
(waves crash)
1141
01:13:18,849 --> 01:13:20,849
- You're a fucking liar.
1142
01:13:23,309 --> 01:13:26,567
(waves crash)
1143
01:13:26,567 --> 01:13:27,817
I gotta go pee.
1144
01:13:31,891 --> 01:13:35,641
(dissonant orchestral music)
1145
01:13:39,123 --> 01:13:41,623
(waves crash)
1146
01:14:50,419 --> 01:14:51,675
(footsteps crunch)
1147
01:14:51,675 --> 01:14:53,278
- [Ivan] Whoa.
1148
01:14:53,278 --> 01:14:57,026
(dissonant orchestral music)
1149
01:14:57,026 --> 01:14:58,934
Get up, get up,
1150
01:14:58,934 --> 01:15:00,903
you piece of shit.
1151
01:15:00,903 --> 01:15:05,070
(dissonant orchestral music)
1152
01:15:05,473 --> 01:15:07,306
Woo, it's a good idea,
1153
01:15:08,483 --> 01:15:09,316
ah.
1154
01:15:12,274 --> 01:15:13,107
Fuck.
1155
01:15:14,256 --> 01:15:16,756
(waves crash)
1156
01:15:25,765 --> 01:15:28,182
(John pants)
1157
01:15:30,567 --> 01:15:33,234
(fire crackles)
1158
01:15:48,804 --> 01:15:51,304
(waves crash)
1159
01:16:35,171 --> 01:16:38,088
(footsteps crunch)
1160
01:16:40,894 --> 01:16:43,394
(waves crash)
1161
01:16:48,678 --> 01:16:52,428
(dissonant orchestral music)
1162
01:16:55,165 --> 01:16:57,748
(insects buzz)
1163
01:17:00,932 --> 01:17:03,432
(birds chirp)
1164
01:17:05,382 --> 01:17:07,799
(John pants)
1165
01:17:11,949 --> 01:17:14,532
(insects buzz)
1166
01:17:17,870 --> 01:17:20,287
(John pants)
1167
01:17:23,359 --> 01:17:27,109
(dissonant orchestral music)
1168
01:17:32,361 --> 01:17:35,111
(John cries out)
1169
01:17:37,726 --> 01:17:41,476
(dissonant orchestral music)
1170
01:18:05,462 --> 01:18:06,295
Fuck.
1171
01:18:07,518 --> 01:18:11,435
(avant-garde orchestral music)
1172
01:18:20,726 --> 01:18:23,726
(tent poles rattle)
1173
01:18:31,884 --> 01:18:36,051
(dissonant orchestral music)
1174
01:18:36,368 --> 01:18:39,285
(footsteps crunch)
1175
01:18:41,534 --> 01:18:45,284
(dissonant orchestral music)
1176
01:19:19,894 --> 01:19:22,644
(water splashes)
1177
01:19:25,565 --> 01:19:29,315
(dissonant orchestral music)
1178
01:19:33,977 --> 01:19:36,810
(thunder rumbles)
1179
01:19:39,260 --> 01:19:43,427
(dissonant orchestral music)
1180
01:19:43,658 --> 01:19:46,325
(nylon rustles)
1181
01:19:56,553 --> 01:20:00,720
My friend is missing, we've
been camping on the beach,
1182
01:20:02,072 --> 01:20:02,905
and, uh,
1183
01:20:04,248 --> 01:20:06,231
I woke up this morning,
1184
01:20:06,231 --> 01:20:10,398
he was just gone, I'm afraid
he might have drowned.
1185
01:20:13,305 --> 01:20:14,138
Yeah.
1186
01:20:15,616 --> 01:20:16,866
Yes, thank you.
1187
01:20:19,366 --> 01:20:20,199
Thank you.
1188
01:20:22,217 --> 01:20:25,967
(dissonant orchestral music)
1189
01:20:27,604 --> 01:20:30,937
(police radio chatters)
1190
01:20:37,051 --> 01:20:39,551
(clock ticks)
1191
01:20:41,689 --> 01:20:44,862
- So when was the last
time you saw your friend?
1192
01:20:44,862 --> 01:20:49,029
- Last night, he was there
when I went to sleep.
1193
01:20:49,173 --> 01:20:51,246
- [David] Did he make or
receive any phone calls
1194
01:20:51,246 --> 01:20:53,587
or text messages before he disappeared
1195
01:20:53,587 --> 01:20:55,337
that you're aware of?
1196
01:20:56,471 --> 01:20:58,388
- I don't think so, no.
1197
01:20:59,620 --> 01:21:01,787
- Can I ask what happened?
1198
01:21:02,739 --> 01:21:06,906
- Yeah, night before last
I slipped down this cliff,
1199
01:21:07,644 --> 01:21:11,811
and Ivan stopped my fall by
stomping on this hand hard.
1200
01:21:14,628 --> 01:21:16,713
Lucky to be alive, really.
1201
01:21:16,713 --> 01:21:19,318
- I would say so, you fellas
sure got the rough end
1202
01:21:19,318 --> 01:21:21,651
of it out there, didn't you?
1203
01:21:22,637 --> 01:21:23,631
Was there any indication
1204
01:21:23,631 --> 01:21:26,176
that he would want to leave the camp?
1205
01:21:26,176 --> 01:21:28,671
Did you have any arguments with Ivan,
1206
01:21:28,671 --> 01:21:30,852
any disagreements that caused him
1207
01:21:30,852 --> 01:21:33,185
to run off or head for home?
1208
01:21:34,943 --> 01:21:38,430
- I mean, we had a little disagreement,
1209
01:21:38,430 --> 01:21:40,793
I thought he was drinking
a little too much,
1210
01:21:40,793 --> 01:21:44,683
but he eventually cooled
off and we made our peace,
1211
01:21:44,683 --> 01:21:47,942
he thanked me, I thought it was okay,
1212
01:21:47,942 --> 01:21:50,223
can't imagine that would
make him want to run off.
1213
01:21:50,223 --> 01:21:53,680
- How about you, did you
have a lot to drink as well?
1214
01:21:53,680 --> 01:21:56,159
- A little later in the evening.
1215
01:21:56,159 --> 01:21:57,489
- On the beach?
1216
01:21:57,489 --> 01:21:59,684
- Yeah, on the beach.
1217
01:21:59,684 --> 01:22:01,492
- You know it's illegal to
have alcoholic beverages
1218
01:22:01,492 --> 01:22:03,325
on protected property?
1219
01:22:07,148 --> 01:22:08,811
Okay.
1220
01:22:08,811 --> 01:22:11,365
So, bigger fish to fry,
1221
01:22:11,365 --> 01:22:15,167
what else can you tell
me about Ivan Marshall?
1222
01:22:15,167 --> 01:22:17,588
- A couple days ago I found out he has
1223
01:22:17,588 --> 01:22:19,671
Schizoaffective disorder.
1224
01:22:22,898 --> 01:22:25,261
I don't think that would,
1225
01:22:25,261 --> 01:22:29,428
has anything to do with him
disappearing, but, you know.
1226
01:22:29,813 --> 01:22:31,773
- And you found this out after you decided
1227
01:22:31,773 --> 01:22:35,764
to travel 2,000 miles
away from home with him?
1228
01:22:35,764 --> 01:22:37,138
- We were college roommates,
1229
01:22:37,138 --> 01:22:40,138
we knew each other better back then.
1230
01:22:41,458 --> 01:22:45,625
He had what I would
describe as like, a flare up
1231
01:22:46,007 --> 01:22:48,837
or an outburst or something,
I woke up one morning
1232
01:22:48,837 --> 01:22:51,920
and he was having a paranoid episode.
1233
01:22:54,831 --> 01:22:57,515
He sort of snapped out of it
1234
01:22:57,515 --> 01:23:00,261
and that's when I got the story.
1235
01:23:00,261 --> 01:23:04,428
- Look, John, this doesn't
sound good, to be blunt.
1236
01:23:05,469 --> 01:23:06,824
There's a lot of rough terrain out there,
1237
01:23:06,824 --> 01:23:08,437
and a lot of things can happen,
1238
01:23:08,437 --> 01:23:11,416
and they do happen, as you know.
1239
01:23:11,416 --> 01:23:14,677
Now, would it be too much
trouble for you to stick
1240
01:23:14,677 --> 01:23:18,844
around town for a few days
while we conduct a search?
1241
01:23:18,935 --> 01:23:20,018
- Not at all.
1242
01:23:21,004 --> 01:23:22,740
- Do you have any contact information
1243
01:23:22,740 --> 01:23:25,909
for his next of kin, or who that would be?
1244
01:23:25,909 --> 01:23:29,726
- He lived with his mom,
I don't have her info,
1245
01:23:29,726 --> 01:23:32,059
but her name's Anna Marshall.
1246
01:23:33,004 --> 01:23:33,837
- Okay.
1247
01:23:35,343 --> 01:23:37,446
I'll make some calls and I'll get in touch
1248
01:23:37,446 --> 01:23:40,946
with her and let her know what's going on.
1249
01:23:59,719 --> 01:24:02,469
(water splashes)
1250
01:24:10,626 --> 01:24:13,376
(mirror squeaks)
1251
01:24:35,600 --> 01:24:37,077
(slow ambient music)
1252
01:24:37,077 --> 01:24:39,494
(John sighs)
1253
01:24:41,739 --> 01:24:44,822
(slow ambient music)
1254
01:24:45,785 --> 01:24:48,202
(John sighs)
1255
01:24:50,096 --> 01:24:53,179
(slow ambient music)
1256
01:25:08,745 --> 01:25:11,162
(John sighs)
1257
01:25:20,571 --> 01:25:21,404
- Yes.
1258
01:25:24,746 --> 01:25:27,910
(slow ambient music)
1259
01:25:27,910 --> 01:25:30,410
(phone rings)
1260
01:25:33,119 --> 01:25:34,493
- [Emily] John?
1261
01:25:34,493 --> 01:25:35,326
- Hi.
1262
01:25:40,906 --> 01:25:43,656
(phone vibrates)
1263
01:25:52,554 --> 01:25:54,346
This is John.
1264
01:25:54,346 --> 01:25:57,568
- [David] Yeah, John, this
is detective Martinez.
1265
01:25:57,568 --> 01:26:00,747
- [John] Yes, yeah, good to hear from you.
1266
01:26:00,747 --> 01:26:01,580
- [David] Do you mind heading down
1267
01:26:01,580 --> 01:26:03,997
to the station in 30 minutes?
1268
01:26:06,458 --> 01:26:09,352
- [John] Yeah, absolutely,
everything okay?
1269
01:26:09,352 --> 01:26:12,128
- [David] I'd rather chat
in person if you don't mind,
1270
01:26:12,128 --> 01:26:15,865
just head to the station,
we'll get it all sorted out.
1271
01:26:15,865 --> 01:26:16,698
- [John] Okay.
1272
01:26:16,698 --> 01:26:18,143
- [David] See you soon.
1273
01:26:18,143 --> 01:26:20,173
- [John] Thank you.
1274
01:26:20,173 --> 01:26:23,923
(dissonant orchestral music)
1275
01:26:27,215 --> 01:26:28,966
- Unfortunately, I'm sorry to say
1276
01:26:28,966 --> 01:26:32,773
that we haven't found any trace of Ivan.
1277
01:26:32,773 --> 01:26:35,574
We did find a corpse up in the hills
1278
01:26:35,574 --> 01:26:38,062
about a quarter mile from your campsite,
1279
01:26:38,062 --> 01:26:39,800
but the level of decomposition suggests
1280
01:26:39,800 --> 01:26:42,487
that it couldn't possibly be our guy,
1281
01:26:42,487 --> 01:26:45,553
he was up there for at
least a year, maybe more.
1282
01:26:45,553 --> 01:26:47,905
Apparent suicide, you
just never know sometimes
1283
01:26:47,905 --> 01:26:49,612
what you'll find up there.
1284
01:26:49,612 --> 01:26:51,379
- That's insane.
1285
01:26:51,379 --> 01:26:52,491
- And other than some litter that we found
1286
01:26:52,491 --> 01:26:55,414
around the campsite,
there were really no clues
1287
01:26:55,414 --> 01:26:58,314
that were helping us out.
1288
01:26:58,314 --> 01:26:59,614
I'd say the next thing for you to do is
1289
01:26:59,614 --> 01:27:03,781
to head back home, I know you
have a life to get back to,
1290
01:27:04,851 --> 01:27:06,417
but we'll continue our search here,
1291
01:27:06,417 --> 01:27:10,505
and I will personally keep you up to date.
1292
01:27:10,505 --> 01:27:13,782
I'm really sorry, John, and at
the risk of sounding cliche,
1293
01:27:13,782 --> 01:27:16,093
I want to let you know that
we really are doing everything
1294
01:27:16,093 --> 01:27:18,426
that we can at our disposal.
1295
01:27:19,285 --> 01:27:21,507
- I appreciate it, thanks.
1296
01:27:21,507 --> 01:27:23,497
- You have my number, please call me
1297
01:27:23,497 --> 01:27:26,174
if you remember anything, I mean it.
1298
01:27:26,174 --> 01:27:27,629
- You got it.
1299
01:27:27,629 --> 01:27:30,129
- Have a safe trip, my friend.
1300
01:27:35,793 --> 01:27:39,543
(dissonant orchestral music)
1301
01:27:45,524 --> 01:27:48,107
(door rattles)
1302
01:27:53,014 --> 01:27:54,514
- [John] I'm home.
1303
01:27:55,495 --> 01:27:56,328
- You are.
1304
01:27:59,070 --> 01:28:03,237
- [John] Em, I'm so sorry for
every goddamned, dumb thing--
1305
01:28:03,733 --> 01:28:05,650
- I know, I know, John.
1306
01:28:07,524 --> 01:28:08,357
It's okay,
1307
01:28:10,396 --> 01:28:12,487
you're home now.
1308
01:28:12,487 --> 01:28:16,379
(slow ambient music)
1309
01:28:16,379 --> 01:28:17,212
It's okay.
1310
01:28:19,902 --> 01:28:22,985
(slow ambient music)
1311
01:28:34,817 --> 01:28:36,484
- [John] I love you.
1312
01:28:41,408 --> 01:28:42,241
So
1313
01:28:44,112 --> 01:28:44,945
fucking
1314
01:28:45,916 --> 01:28:46,749
much.
1315
01:28:47,585 --> 01:28:50,668
(slow ambient music)
1316
01:28:53,713 --> 01:28:55,213
- I love you, too.
1317
01:29:08,926 --> 01:29:11,593
(traffic roars)
1318
01:29:15,291 --> 01:29:18,374
(police siren wails)
1319
01:29:20,372 --> 01:29:22,789
(John gasps)
1320
01:29:25,567 --> 01:29:28,594
- [Emily] Hey, whoa, John, wake up.
1321
01:29:28,594 --> 01:29:29,427
(John chokes)
1322
01:29:29,427 --> 01:29:30,260
Hey, John.
1323
01:29:31,395 --> 01:29:32,729
You're dreaming.
1324
01:29:32,729 --> 01:29:33,569
(John gasps)
1325
01:29:33,569 --> 01:29:35,224
- [John] What, Em?
1326
01:29:35,224 --> 01:29:36,385
- Yeah.
1327
01:29:36,385 --> 01:29:37,218
- [John] Emily.
1328
01:29:37,218 --> 01:29:38,051
- It's okay.
1329
01:29:38,051 --> 01:29:42,218
- [John] What, I can't,
I don't want to go back.
1330
01:29:42,591 --> 01:29:45,895
- No, it's okay, you're just dreaming.
1331
01:29:45,895 --> 01:29:48,395
(John groans)
1332
01:29:54,881 --> 01:29:55,714
John?
1333
01:29:58,396 --> 01:29:59,229
John?
1334
01:30:03,367 --> 01:30:04,200
Jesus.
1335
01:30:10,488 --> 01:30:13,571
(wind chimes tinkle)
1336
01:30:17,465 --> 01:30:19,965
- Ivan is his own man, I mean,
1337
01:30:20,896 --> 01:30:24,506
sometimes he would disappear for weeks,
1338
01:30:24,506 --> 01:30:26,130
weeks, and I wouldn't know where he was.
1339
01:30:26,130 --> 01:30:28,130
I didn't know if he was dead,
1340
01:30:28,130 --> 01:30:30,713
or off in some alley somewhere.
1341
01:30:32,471 --> 01:30:34,532
He just wanted to live,
1342
01:30:34,532 --> 01:30:36,938
and I always tried to protect him,
1343
01:30:36,938 --> 01:30:41,105
but I know how important it
was for him to see things
1344
01:30:41,360 --> 01:30:45,527
and experience things,
and he just never wanted
1345
01:30:45,830 --> 01:30:49,997
to slow down until the
disease finally made him stop.
1346
01:30:51,400 --> 01:30:55,112
(wind chimes tinkle)
1347
01:30:55,112 --> 01:30:57,445
(Anna sobs)
1348
01:31:03,983 --> 01:31:06,650
(train rattles)
1349
01:31:08,384 --> 01:31:11,366
(slow ambient music)
1350
01:31:11,366 --> 01:31:14,287
(dogs bark)
1351
01:31:14,287 --> 01:31:16,787
(bells chime)
1352
01:31:20,678 --> 01:31:24,176
(train rattles)
1353
01:31:24,176 --> 01:31:26,367
(slow ambient music)
1354
01:31:26,367 --> 01:31:28,784
(John sighs)
1355
01:31:31,258 --> 01:31:34,341
(slow ambient music)
1356
01:31:36,619 --> 01:31:39,119
(door creaks)
1357
01:31:42,475 --> 01:31:45,558
(slow ambient music)
1358
01:31:46,765 --> 01:31:48,682
- Hey, giving it a try?
1359
01:31:50,747 --> 01:31:54,399
- [John] Yeah, um, can
we talk for a second?
1360
01:31:54,399 --> 01:31:55,941
Can we sit?
1361
01:31:55,941 --> 01:31:56,774
- Sure.
1362
01:31:57,856 --> 01:31:58,689
What's up?
1363
01:32:00,489 --> 01:32:01,322
- Um.
1364
01:32:03,289 --> 01:32:07,456
This is, it's going to be
really hard for me to say.
1365
01:32:12,008 --> 01:32:14,935
I can't keep it in anymore.
1366
01:32:14,935 --> 01:32:18,984
No matter what I say, or
however long it takes,
1367
01:32:18,984 --> 01:32:21,280
just let me get it all out.
1368
01:32:21,280 --> 01:32:22,113
- Okay.
1369
01:32:24,991 --> 01:32:25,824
- Okay.
1370
01:32:27,299 --> 01:32:30,380
I know you slept with Ivan.
1371
01:32:30,380 --> 01:32:32,955
I know you did it more than once,
1372
01:32:32,955 --> 01:32:37,122
and I know that you wanted
to leave me for him.
1373
01:32:37,702 --> 01:32:40,785
(slow ambient music)
1374
01:32:43,359 --> 01:32:44,526
- He told you.
1375
01:32:45,793 --> 01:32:47,460
- He didn't have to.
1376
01:32:50,105 --> 01:32:50,938
Look.
1377
01:32:52,576 --> 01:32:54,076
I need you to know
1378
01:32:55,734 --> 01:32:58,401
that I understand why you would,
1379
01:33:00,005 --> 01:33:03,755
why you did it, and I
completely forgive you.
1380
01:33:05,885 --> 01:33:06,718
- God.
1381
01:33:08,674 --> 01:33:12,757
- [John] It's okay, look,
if we're gonna do this,
1382
01:33:13,684 --> 01:33:16,682
we just need to put it all on the table.
1383
01:33:16,682 --> 01:33:17,515
- I can't.
1384
01:33:17,515 --> 01:33:18,682
- [John] What?
1385
01:33:19,594 --> 01:33:20,964
- I said I can't do this.
1386
01:33:20,964 --> 01:33:23,881
- [John] Can't do what, which part?
1387
01:33:24,751 --> 01:33:28,084
- All of it, I can't marry you, I won't.
1388
01:33:29,328 --> 01:33:33,495
- [John] I'm saying it
doesn't matter, it's okay.
1389
01:33:33,551 --> 01:33:36,218
- No, it's not okay, I feel like
1390
01:33:39,983 --> 01:33:42,066
I know that you know, and
1391
01:33:43,903 --> 01:33:46,255
every time I look at you,
it'll be this mirror,
1392
01:33:46,255 --> 01:33:49,403
reminding me of what I
did, and then I'll think
1393
01:33:49,403 --> 01:33:51,687
of all the fucked up stuff that you did.
1394
01:33:51,687 --> 01:33:53,464
- [John] You know I'm
sorry for all of that,
1395
01:33:53,464 --> 01:33:56,131
how badly I feel for everything.
1396
01:33:56,992 --> 01:33:58,280
Please.
1397
01:33:58,280 --> 01:34:00,030
- It's not just that.
1398
01:34:02,734 --> 01:34:06,901
I haven't been happy for a long time now,
1399
01:34:06,904 --> 01:34:09,271
I don't, I don't want to be in a place
1400
01:34:09,271 --> 01:34:11,381
where we keep having to apologize
1401
01:34:11,381 --> 01:34:15,548
and forgive each other
over and over again.
1402
01:34:15,604 --> 01:34:16,437
- But
1403
01:34:18,568 --> 01:34:19,901
that's marriage.
1404
01:34:22,767 --> 01:34:24,517
- Not, not to me, no.
1405
01:34:25,725 --> 01:34:26,725
- Goddammit.
1406
01:34:28,424 --> 01:34:29,924
Oh, what the fuck?
1407
01:34:31,661 --> 01:34:34,349
What did you do, why the
hell did you do, please?
1408
01:34:34,349 --> 01:34:35,182
Please.
1409
01:34:39,168 --> 01:34:41,271
- I should have ended this a lot sooner.
1410
01:34:41,271 --> 01:34:42,104
- [John] No.
1411
01:34:42,104 --> 01:34:45,895
- I was an idiot for dragging it out.
1412
01:34:45,895 --> 01:34:46,728
- [John] No.
1413
01:34:46,728 --> 01:34:48,430
- It's over.
1414
01:34:48,430 --> 01:34:49,268
(dissonant orchestral music)
1415
01:34:49,268 --> 01:34:51,404
I just need to be by myself.
1416
01:34:51,404 --> 01:34:52,237
- Mm-mm.
1417
01:34:53,594 --> 01:34:55,608
Please don't do this, please don't,
1418
01:34:55,608 --> 01:34:59,608
please don't do this,
look, you're not an idiot.
1419
01:35:00,609 --> 01:35:01,859
- You're right.
1420
01:35:02,975 --> 01:35:07,142
I'm weak, and that's why I
couldn't end this sooner.
1421
01:35:08,871 --> 01:35:11,788
(tinnitus ringing)
1422
01:35:14,845 --> 01:35:16,137
- [John] Oh, fucking fuck.
1423
01:35:16,137 --> 01:35:16,970
- Hey.
1424
01:35:16,970 --> 01:35:18,720
- No, fuck you, fuck.
1425
01:35:20,568 --> 01:35:21,641
Em.
1426
01:35:21,641 --> 01:35:24,397
(dissonant orchestral music)
1427
01:35:24,397 --> 01:35:25,784
- No.
1428
01:35:25,784 --> 01:35:26,929
- Em.
1429
01:35:26,929 --> 01:35:30,679
(dissonant orchestral music)
1430
01:35:33,475 --> 01:35:34,975
I'm sorry, please.
1431
01:35:37,230 --> 01:35:39,090
(door handle shakes)
1432
01:35:39,090 --> 01:35:42,840
(dissonant orchestral music)
1433
01:35:47,812 --> 01:35:48,740
(door bangs)
1434
01:35:48,740 --> 01:35:49,573
- John.
1435
01:35:52,029 --> 01:35:55,430
- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.
1436
01:35:55,430 --> 01:35:59,180
(dissonant orchestral music)
1437
01:36:03,846 --> 01:36:06,596
- [Emily] Take whatever you need,
1438
01:36:07,821 --> 01:36:09,756
whatever is yours.
1439
01:36:09,756 --> 01:36:13,506
(dissonant orchestral music)
1440
01:36:40,039 --> 01:36:42,452
(door creaks)
1441
01:36:42,452 --> 01:36:45,146
(Emily cries)
1442
01:36:45,146 --> 01:36:46,927
(door slams)
1443
01:36:46,927 --> 01:36:49,427
(Emily cries)
1444
01:37:00,719 --> 01:37:03,636
(footsteps crunch)
1445
01:37:07,168 --> 01:37:09,585
(horn honks)
1446
01:37:19,697 --> 01:37:22,197
(birds chirp)
1447
01:37:30,014 --> 01:37:32,597
(Ivan screams)
1448
01:37:37,607 --> 01:37:40,024
(John gasps)
1449
01:37:43,935 --> 01:37:46,602
(traffic roars)
1450
01:38:10,158 --> 01:38:14,325
- You are a creator that uses
and manipulates the evolution
1451
01:38:14,582 --> 01:38:18,490
of consciousness, and you are the result
1452
01:38:18,490 --> 01:38:21,458
of that same process,
at both the non-physical
1453
01:38:21,458 --> 01:38:23,458
and the physical levels.
1454
01:38:24,579 --> 01:38:28,402
What is it they say, with
great power comes great sex?
1455
01:38:28,402 --> 01:38:29,787
(audience laughs)
1456
01:38:29,787 --> 01:38:30,851
Money?
1457
01:38:30,851 --> 01:38:32,473
(audience laughs)
1458
01:38:32,473 --> 01:38:33,306
Whatever.
1459
01:38:34,883 --> 01:38:36,704
So what does all of this mean?
1460
01:38:36,704 --> 01:38:39,200
It means that you are the one in control,
1461
01:38:39,200 --> 01:38:42,303
you ultimately choose the
path that's right for you,
1462
01:38:42,303 --> 01:38:44,886
and all of this will take time,
1463
01:38:45,965 --> 01:38:48,328
but your skillset will improve,
1464
01:38:48,328 --> 01:38:51,645
if that's the path you choose.
1465
01:38:51,645 --> 01:38:55,395
(dissonant orchestral music)
1466
01:40:33,300 --> 01:40:37,467
(moves into slow orchestral music)
1467
01:42:24,972 --> 01:42:29,139
(moves into slow electronic music)
99261
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