subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Midsomer Murders - 11x01 - Shot At Dawn.DVDRip.infinite.English.HI.orig.Addic7ed.com

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch Download

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Telugu

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:01,978 Tom, what are you doing here? (MUFFLED) 2 00:01:02,886 --> 00:01:04,966 Come on, lad. That'll do. You don't understand. 3 00:01:04,974 --> 00:01:06,918 Come on, into the car. But... 4 00:01:06,926 --> 00:01:09,930 EXPLOSION BOOMS Come on. 5 00:01:09,934 --> 00:01:12,894 Thomas Hicks, 6 00:01:12,902 --> 00:01:15,978 you have been found guilty of cowardice in the face of the enemy. 7 00:01:16,882 --> 00:01:18,922 The sentence is death by shooting. 8 00:01:18,930 --> 00:01:22,918 The firing party will be found from your own regiment. 9 00:01:22,922 --> 00:01:24,946 Lieutenant Hammond, take him away. 10 00:01:24,950 --> 00:01:29,914 SUSPENSE-BUILDING ORCHESTRAL MUSIC 11 00:01:36,922 --> 00:01:39,958 RAIN PELTS 12 00:01:45,902 --> 00:01:46,942 DISTANT THUNDER ROLLS 13 00:01:49,958 --> 00:01:51,898 Take aim. 14 00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:53,978 Fire! 15 00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:55,962 GUNFIRE ECHOES 16 00:01:55,966 --> 00:01:57,942 (GASPS) 17 00:02:28,922 --> 00:02:30,906 BIRDSONG 18 00:02:30,914 --> 00:02:34,902 BRASS BAND PLAYS Left. Left, right, left. 19 00:02:58,926 --> 00:03:02,898 Left. Left. Left, right, left. 20 00:03:13,958 --> 00:03:17,910 Left, right, left, right... 21 00:03:35,934 --> 00:03:38,914 Royal Midsomers...halt! 22 00:03:41,898 --> 00:03:42,970 BRASS BAND STOPS Parade... 23 00:03:42,974 --> 00:03:44,910 right turn! 24 00:03:46,942 --> 00:03:48,970 Stand at ease! 25 00:03:51,934 --> 00:03:52,974 Stand easy. 26 00:03:54,934 --> 00:04:00,954 (CLEARS THROAT) I would now like to call upon my father, 27 00:04:00,958 --> 00:04:03,942 Corporal Lionel Hicks, 28 00:04:03,950 --> 00:04:09,918 to unveil the new name on our war memorial. 29 00:04:09,926 --> 00:04:17,890 That of his father, my grandfather, Private Tommy Hicks 30 00:04:17,894 --> 00:04:20,946 of the Royal Midsomer Yeomanry. 31 00:04:20,954 --> 00:04:22,954 Father. Thank you. 32 00:04:25,942 --> 00:04:27,882 There you go, Dad. 33 00:04:38,922 --> 00:04:44,910 And so, after 90 years, a great wrong is righted. 34 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:48,938 And the twin blemishes of cowardice and desertion 35 00:04:48,946 --> 00:04:52,914 are wiped from the pages of the Hicks' family history. 36 00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:53,970 (MUMBLES ANGRILY) 37 00:04:55,922 --> 00:04:56,962 Here we go. 38 00:04:57,970 --> 00:04:59,926 (CLEARS THROAT) 39 00:04:59,934 --> 00:05:05,974 The courage and honour of Tommy Hicks is now recognised 40 00:05:06,882 --> 00:05:11,886 despite the efforts of certain ELEMENTS in our community. 41 00:05:11,890 --> 00:05:13,958 (CACKLES) 44 00:05:17,958 --> 00:05:19,902 (LAUGHS) 45 00:05:19,906 --> 00:05:21,894 I know what you want. 46 00:05:21,902 --> 00:05:23,902 (LAUGHS) Do the bloody salute! 47 00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:24,970 Parade... 48 00:05:24,974 --> 00:05:26,966 Parade arms! 49 00:05:28,922 --> 00:05:30,918 Slope...ARMS. 50 00:05:33,910 --> 00:05:36,946 One round of volley fire - take AIM. 51 00:05:39,894 --> 00:05:40,922 Fire! 52 00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:42,946 ODD CRACKS AND POPS 53 00:05:50,890 --> 00:05:53,938 Royal Midsomers - slope ARMS! 54 00:05:55,974 --> 00:05:57,962 Crack regiment, this. Shush. 55 00:05:57,966 --> 00:06:01,882 Parade, right...TURN! 56 00:06:02,978 --> 00:06:06,886 Parade, fall...OUT! 57 00:06:06,890 --> 00:06:07,926 Left... 58 00:06:21,910 --> 00:06:24,894 Farce! Absolute bloody farce! 59 00:06:24,898 --> 00:06:26,930 Yes, Henry. Come along, girls. 60 00:06:28,918 --> 00:06:30,910 (GROANS LOWLY) Watch the car. 61 00:06:31,950 --> 00:06:33,930 What about my wheelchair? 62 00:06:33,934 --> 00:06:35,930 Forget it. No way. It will scratch. 63 00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:37,966 Get your girlfriend to push you home. 64 00:06:37,970 --> 00:06:40,974 SAD ORCHESTRAL MUSIC 65 00:06:42,910 --> 00:06:43,958 Thanks, son. 66 00:06:43,962 --> 00:06:45,962 I'm glad I fought the war for you. 67 00:06:45,966 --> 00:06:47,946 Any time. 68 00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:51,978 SAD ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES 69 00:06:55,954 --> 00:06:59,930 RAIN PELTS HEAVILY 70 00:07:04,978 --> 00:07:06,926 DOOR BANGS SHUT 71 00:07:06,930 --> 00:07:07,974 You going, sir? 72 00:07:09,898 --> 00:07:13,886 No, I am not. Chief's the one with the pretty uniform. 73 00:07:13,894 --> 00:07:15,934 He can go between the Hicks and the Hammonds. 74 00:07:15,942 --> 00:07:17,942 90 years they've been at each other's throats. 75 00:07:17,950 --> 00:07:19,914 Yeah. And they are truly AWFUL families. 76 00:07:19,922 --> 00:07:23,914 The Hammonds are all huff and puff military Wallers. 77 00:07:23,922 --> 00:07:25,974 And the Hicks, gosh, just a bunch of spooks. 78 00:07:26,882 --> 00:07:28,978 So even his Worship the Mayor? Especially his Worship the Mayor. 79 00:07:29,886 --> 00:07:30,958 It's his company put up my bloody roof. 80 00:07:30,966 --> 00:07:33,894 Maybe this pardon thing will put an end to the feud. 81 00:07:33,898 --> 00:07:34,966 It's not likely. 82 00:07:34,974 --> 00:07:37,886 Feuding's an Olympic sport round here. 83 00:07:38,902 --> 00:07:41,906 RAIN PELTS Tomorrow is our big day. 84 00:07:41,914 --> 00:07:43,978 So it will be much appreciated if we... 85 00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:46,954 YOU could be authentic as possible. 86 00:07:46,962 --> 00:07:50,890 So we don't want to see any iPod-leanings of the regulations. 87 00:07:50,894 --> 00:07:52,910 Lanyards. And no brollies either. 88 00:07:52,914 --> 00:07:54,882 Capes only. 89 00:08:05,942 --> 00:08:07,930 What's for dinner? 90 00:08:07,938 --> 00:08:09,934 Oh, I can't think. What would you reckon? 91 00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:14,978 God! 92 00:08:15,882 --> 00:08:17,906 I'm gonna kill that man. 93 00:08:18,930 --> 00:08:20,962 Don't touch the electrics! 94 00:08:21,978 --> 00:08:24,886 Corporal Ryan, did you have your public-address system 95 00:08:24,890 --> 00:08:25,942 set up for my commentary? 96 00:08:25,950 --> 00:08:27,890 They'll hear you loud and clear, Johnny. 97 00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:30,894 Sir or...Captain when we're on parade, please? 98 00:08:30,898 --> 00:08:31,958 I hear you loud and clear, sir. 99 00:08:33,882 --> 00:08:34,962 Or Captain. (MEN SNIGGER) 100 00:08:34,966 --> 00:08:36,910 Jolly good. 101 00:08:36,914 --> 00:08:39,882 Lawrence Of Arabia rides again. 102 00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:41,950 (MEN LAUGH) 103 00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:44,906 Parade. Parade...'SHUN! 104 00:08:47,934 --> 00:08:49,906 You're all a bloody disgrace! 105 00:08:50,914 --> 00:08:51,970 I've never seen such a shambles. 106 00:08:51,974 --> 00:08:53,922 Silly old fart. 107 00:08:53,926 --> 00:08:55,890 Put that man on a charge, Johnny. 108 00:08:55,894 --> 00:08:56,974 Put him on a charge! 109 00:08:57,882 --> 00:09:00,950 Father, I can't do that. This is not the real army, this is our hobby. 110 00:09:00,954 --> 00:09:03,934 (SPUTTERS) A hobby? 111 00:09:03,938 --> 00:09:05,958 A HOBBY? 112 00:09:05,966 --> 00:09:08,890 Is that what this family is coming to? 113 00:09:08,894 --> 00:09:10,958 So the army's a hobby? 114 00:09:10,962 --> 00:09:13,890 You're all pathetic. 115 00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:19,914 The fletching isn't overlapping, and these...new slates sit... 116 00:09:19,922 --> 00:09:20,958 SLATE BREAKS Cracks! 117 00:09:20,962 --> 00:09:23,918 The man's a complete bloody cowboy. 118 00:09:23,926 --> 00:09:25,914 Guarantee? Yeah. 119 00:09:25,922 --> 00:09:28,898 Expired a month ago. Will the insurance cover it? 120 00:09:28,906 --> 00:09:30,886 Like hell it will. They're all crooks as well. 121 00:09:30,890 --> 00:09:31,938 Come on. 122 00:09:31,942 --> 00:09:33,898 Look at them. 123 00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:36,978 Jarvis Hammond - Blenheim, Malplaquet. 124 00:09:37,882 --> 00:09:38,954 (GRUNTS) Good God. 125 00:09:41,910 --> 00:09:42,958 Sebastian Hammond - 126 00:09:42,962 --> 00:09:44,930 Rorke's Drift. 127 00:09:46,882 --> 00:09:47,930 Dougie Hammond - 128 00:09:47,934 --> 00:09:49,934 the Somme. 129 00:09:49,938 --> 00:09:51,886 (STAMMERS) And me - 130 00:09:51,890 --> 00:09:52,950 over there. 131 00:09:52,954 --> 00:09:54,938 Wherever those Midsomers were, 132 00:09:54,946 --> 00:09:57,926 the Hammonds were there to lead them. 133 00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,978 So, what were YOU doing? 134 00:10:00,886 --> 00:10:02,898 You didn't HAVE to come. (VICIOUSLY) Course I did. 135 00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:03,966 Regimental occasion. 136 00:10:03,974 --> 00:10:05,974 My personal feelings don't come into it. 137 00:10:05,978 --> 00:10:08,946 To encourage the others. 138 00:10:10,970 --> 00:10:14,966 That's why Dougie had to shoot that Hicks boy. Mm. Eh, Bella? 139 00:10:16,914 --> 00:10:17,954 Bella! 140 00:10:18,962 --> 00:10:20,902 Ah? 141 00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:23,938 Yes. 142 00:10:23,942 --> 00:10:25,950 Sh-shall we have supper now? 143 00:10:25,954 --> 00:10:27,958 Oh. I-I'll go and find the girls. 144 00:10:29,966 --> 00:10:31,934 Father, tomorrow... 145 00:10:31,942 --> 00:10:33,906 Forget it. Please? 146 00:10:33,910 --> 00:10:34,954 For the sake of the family, 147 00:10:34,958 --> 00:10:37,886 our name in the village. 148 00:10:39,938 --> 00:10:41,886 I'm off to the pub. 149 00:10:43,902 --> 00:10:44,942 (SIGHS) 150 00:10:47,886 --> 00:10:51,978 BIRDSONG PEACEFUL PIANO AND VIOLINS PLAYS 151 00:10:58,922 --> 00:11:00,950 Martin! 152 00:11:00,958 --> 00:11:02,978 How much do you love Chateau Hicks then? 153 00:11:03,882 --> 00:11:05,958 Very nice. Very...you. 154 00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,962 Couldn't have done it without your legal nous. 155 00:11:07,966 --> 00:11:09,910 Hah. No. 156 00:11:09,914 --> 00:11:11,934 So...what you got cooking then? 157 00:11:13,898 --> 00:11:14,954 DOOR CLOSES 158 00:11:14,962 --> 00:11:19,922 When my father retired he passed on various documents from old clients. 159 00:11:19,926 --> 00:11:21,934 Most notably, the Hammonds. 160 00:11:21,938 --> 00:11:23,922 And? 161 00:11:23,930 --> 00:11:25,922 Well, THIS may be of interest to you. 162 00:11:27,950 --> 00:11:29,958 I always look after them, they look after me. 163 00:11:34,922 --> 00:11:36,950 Oh, not in a village pub! 164 00:11:36,954 --> 00:11:38,926 Well, I'm not cooking here. 165 00:11:38,934 --> 00:11:41,922 All the local loons come out of the woodwork so they jibber at me. 166 00:11:41,926 --> 00:11:42,978 Couldn't you do a salad? 167 00:11:43,886 --> 00:11:47,926 Midsomer Parva, The Woodman. Get your clogs on. (SIGHS) 168 00:12:03,950 --> 00:12:05,890 (CLEARS NOSTRILS) 169 00:12:13,922 --> 00:12:18,882 Dave Hicks, man of property. 170 00:12:18,886 --> 00:12:19,950 Tell it to the Hammonds. 171 00:12:19,958 --> 00:12:22,950 We're as good as them now. In your dreams. 172 00:12:22,958 --> 00:12:24,950 You're still rubbish, you always will be. 173 00:12:24,954 --> 00:12:26,954 What have I done now? 174 00:12:29,910 --> 00:12:30,966 What? 175 00:12:30,974 --> 00:12:34,926 Which one of the local slappers you having a ding-dong with this time? 176 00:12:34,930 --> 00:12:36,902 Give me a break, Jude. 177 00:12:36,910 --> 00:12:38,910 Well, your golf sweater stinks of Chanel No.5. 178 00:12:38,918 --> 00:12:40,930 Look, I'm the Mayor of Corsten, for God's sake. 179 00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,886 People watch my every move. 180 00:12:42,894 --> 00:12:44,966 I can no more be having an affair than flying to the bleedin' moon. 181 00:12:44,974 --> 00:12:47,886 Why won't the local women look me in the eye then? 182 00:12:48,954 --> 00:12:50,966 Probably cos of the way you dress. 183 00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,946 I beg your pardon? 184 00:12:52,954 --> 00:12:56,902 (SIGHS) You could try and fit in a bit more. 185 00:12:56,906 --> 00:13:00,886 I...HATE...living here. 186 00:13:00,890 --> 00:13:03,970 I'm a Corsten woman, a townie. 187 00:13:03,978 --> 00:13:07,918 I don't want to be part of your social climbing crap. 188 00:13:16,922 --> 00:13:18,882 So, how did the council give permission 189 00:13:18,890 --> 00:13:20,910 for their ghastly house in the first place? 190 00:13:20,914 --> 00:13:22,914 Hicks probably bribed them. 191 00:13:22,922 --> 00:13:23,974 Their whole family should be put down. Please! 192 00:13:23,978 --> 00:13:25,966 Terrible people. 193 00:13:25,970 --> 00:13:27,934 Always were. 194 00:13:27,938 --> 00:13:29,926 It's been going on for 90 years now. 195 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,930 Maybe we could all move on. Why? 196 00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:34,882 Because. Because. 197 00:13:43,966 --> 00:13:46,882 And, by the way, Dad, I must have some more money. 198 00:13:46,886 --> 00:13:48,910 Delivery costs have gone ballistic. 199 00:13:48,914 --> 00:13:49,970 Not a chance. 200 00:13:49,978 --> 00:13:52,922 Trustees have made some very BORING investments - 201 00:13:52,926 --> 00:13:54,930 all capital, no income. 202 00:13:54,938 --> 00:13:56,934 How long are those bastards going to rule our lives? 203 00:13:56,942 --> 00:13:58,926 Until your grandfather, your mother and I are all dead 204 00:13:58,930 --> 00:13:59,978 and the trust wraps up. 205 00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:01,938 You'll both be very comfortable. 206 00:14:01,946 --> 00:14:02,978 Meanwhile you could always get a job, 207 00:14:03,882 --> 00:14:04,938 like your sister. 208 00:14:05,966 --> 00:14:07,966 Blah, blah, blah... 209 00:14:11,966 --> 00:14:13,926 See? 210 00:14:13,930 --> 00:14:16,914 It's 30 acres of solid gold. 211 00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:21,882 It's agricultural. I mean, look at the zoning. 212 00:14:21,890 --> 00:14:22,974 You always were the dumb one, weren't you? 213 00:14:23,882 --> 00:14:25,930 Dad. I'm the Mayor! 214 00:14:25,934 --> 00:14:27,894 Head of planning. 215 00:14:27,902 --> 00:14:30,894 "Change Of Use Order? Certainly, Mr Mayor." 216 00:14:30,898 --> 00:14:33,898 30 acres, solid gold. 217 00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:36,974 Right. That's cool. THAT is REALLY cool. 218 00:14:36,978 --> 00:14:38,926 Nice one, Dad. 219 00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:46,890 CASSETTE TAPE REWINDS 220 00:14:51,894 --> 00:14:53,946 Ms Hammond. Mr Hicks. 221 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:59,926 So...how's it going? 222 00:14:59,930 --> 00:15:01,966 It's going how it's going. 223 00:15:01,970 --> 00:15:03,950 I mean, when will it be finished? 224 00:15:03,958 --> 00:15:06,910 It's a work of art, not a military objective. 225 00:15:06,918 --> 00:15:08,914 Please? Artists. 226 00:15:08,918 --> 00:15:10,938 (LAUGHS) No order, no discipline. 227 00:15:10,946 --> 00:15:13,918 Yeah, yeah, yeah. We represent everything you abhor. 228 00:15:13,922 --> 00:15:14,970 Now, shut up and get on the bed. 229 00:15:27,946 --> 00:15:30,946 SOFT CHATTER 230 00:15:30,950 --> 00:15:34,886 (LAUGHS) 231 00:15:35,954 --> 00:15:37,978 So the Hicks have come full circle, 232 00:15:38,886 --> 00:15:40,902 from yobs to knobs in 100 years. (LAUGHS) 233 00:15:40,906 --> 00:15:43,894 And don't they love you for it? 234 00:15:43,898 --> 00:15:46,942 (CACKLES) 235 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,978 Do you want a drink, George? 236 00:15:49,886 --> 00:15:52,922 No. I've got the milk round later. You still doing that? 237 00:15:52,926 --> 00:15:54,926 Oh, aye. Set your clock by me. 238 00:15:54,930 --> 00:15:56,898 Hammond Hill here. 239 00:15:56,902 --> 00:15:59,962 The lane goes right past the hall. 240 00:15:59,966 --> 00:16:01,902 Easy-peasey. 241 00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:05,910 Oh, come on! 242 00:16:05,914 --> 00:16:07,946 It's for Lionel, my old mate there. 243 00:16:07,950 --> 00:16:09,946 Yo! Lionel! 244 00:16:09,954 --> 00:16:11,898 Yo, Mickey. (LAUGHS) 245 00:16:20,890 --> 00:16:24,938 Hah! They've lacquered these horse brasses, instead of polishing them. 246 00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:26,970 About 50 years ago. 247 00:16:26,978 --> 00:16:29,938 They've got crumbed scampi. Oh, goodie. 248 00:16:29,946 --> 00:16:31,958 MEN LAUGH What'll it be then? 249 00:16:31,962 --> 00:16:33,926 Nothing for George, shandy for me, 250 00:16:33,930 --> 00:16:35,914 and the same for my 'ho'. 251 00:16:35,922 --> 00:16:38,890 (LAUGHS) (CACKLES) 252 00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:39,950 Will you people keep the noise down?! 253 00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:42,918 Are you talking to me, General? 254 00:16:42,926 --> 00:16:45,910 No. I'm talking to that Hicks creature. 255 00:16:45,914 --> 00:16:46,970 Oh, my gawd. 256 00:16:46,978 --> 00:16:50,882 Do you know what was wrong with the execution of your father? 257 00:16:50,886 --> 00:16:51,926 Not tonight, General. 258 00:16:51,934 --> 00:16:53,970 Dougie should have shot him before he had a chance to breed. 259 00:16:53,974 --> 00:16:55,918 You leave him alone. 260 00:16:55,926 --> 00:16:58,946 Then we wouldn't have this long line of Hicks living in Parva 261 00:16:58,954 --> 00:17:01,890 in that bloody awful red-brick monstrosity. 262 00:17:01,894 --> 00:17:03,886 I'm not fighting tonight. 263 00:17:03,894 --> 00:17:05,890 No, of course you're not, cos you're like your father - 264 00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:06,938 a coward. 265 00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:08,938 Come on, Biddy. 266 00:17:08,942 --> 00:17:11,890 Go on, you little weasel. 267 00:17:11,894 --> 00:17:13,950 (ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIR WHIRS) 268 00:17:13,958 --> 00:17:16,954 (MEN LAUGH) That's it. Come on. 269 00:17:16,962 --> 00:17:19,938 That's it! (CACKLES) (LAUGHS) 270 00:17:19,946 --> 00:17:22,918 (OTHERS CHEER) Oooohhhh... 271 00:17:22,922 --> 00:17:24,946 Go on! Get back in there. Go on. 272 00:17:24,950 --> 00:17:26,894 Prr-rump-tah! 273 00:17:26,898 --> 00:17:27,958 Charge! 274 00:17:27,962 --> 00:17:32,914 (OTHERS YELL ENCOURAGEMENT) 275 00:17:38,926 --> 00:17:39,974 METAL RATTLES 276 00:17:39,978 --> 00:17:43,978 (LAUGHS) 277 00:17:45,886 --> 00:17:47,950 GLASS BREAKS 278 00:17:47,954 --> 00:17:50,958 YELLING AND LAUGHING 279 00:17:53,918 --> 00:17:54,974 OI! OI! OI! 280 00:17:54,978 --> 00:17:56,930 (YELLING) Stop it! Stop it! 281 00:17:56,938 --> 00:18:00,894 Stop it! All right. You stop it, both of you. Stop it there. Stop it now! 282 00:18:00,898 --> 00:18:03,926 Put that down. Lionel, give ME that! 283 00:18:03,930 --> 00:18:06,914 What is the matter with you two? 284 00:18:06,918 --> 00:18:08,926 Has evolution passed you by? 285 00:18:08,934 --> 00:18:10,922 What was that ceremony about yesterday, hey? 286 00:18:10,930 --> 00:18:14,890 Was that drawing a line under all this flaming business or not? Eh? 287 00:18:14,898 --> 00:18:17,886 Oh, you're right. What you say, Henry - kiss and make up? 288 00:18:18,894 --> 00:18:20,938 Over my dead body. 289 00:18:21,946 --> 00:18:23,886 OW! 290 00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:27,950 I've got to finish my meal. 291 00:18:27,958 --> 00:18:30,914 If you lot want to kill each other, will you PLEASE 292 00:18:30,918 --> 00:18:32,954 do it quietly? 293 00:18:34,918 --> 00:18:35,958 (CRACKS UP) 294 00:18:37,894 --> 00:18:38,970 Don't you worry. 295 00:18:46,974 --> 00:18:48,954 On parade, Corporal. 296 00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:55,958 (SQUEALS) Get off. Get... 297 00:18:55,962 --> 00:18:58,910 (LAUGHS) Stop it. 298 00:18:58,914 --> 00:18:59,950 Oh. 299 00:19:06,922 --> 00:19:08,890 God, I hate you. 300 00:19:08,894 --> 00:19:09,938 Mm. 301 00:19:09,942 --> 00:19:11,970 Just behave, will you?! 302 00:19:11,974 --> 00:19:13,910 (SIGHS) 303 00:19:17,958 --> 00:19:22,954 Hm! What would our families think? 304 00:19:24,974 --> 00:19:28,918 A common Hicks falling for a posh Hammond. 305 00:19:28,926 --> 00:19:31,958 There'll be dead generals spinning in their graves all over the world. 306 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,906 Hm! 307 00:19:33,910 --> 00:19:36,946 We'll have to tell them soon. 308 00:19:36,950 --> 00:19:38,886 You know... 309 00:19:40,894 --> 00:19:41,970 Here, sit here. 310 00:19:50,978 --> 00:19:52,918 Sophie... 311 00:19:54,918 --> 00:19:55,966 ..will you marry me? 312 00:19:55,970 --> 00:19:57,974 If... 313 00:19:57,978 --> 00:19:59,942 you pass the physical. 314 00:19:59,946 --> 00:20:01,898 (SIGHS EXAGGERATEDLY) Come on. 315 00:20:01,902 --> 00:20:03,930 (SHRIEKS, GIGGLES) 316 00:20:03,934 --> 00:20:05,906 (GIGGLES) 317 00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:17,249 Yes, sir. 318 00:20:17,253 --> 00:20:19,329 Well, I do understand, sir. 319 00:20:21,269 --> 00:20:22,309 Goodbye, sir. 320 00:20:26,257 --> 00:20:27,313 "Sir", was it? 321 00:20:27,321 --> 00:20:31,241 "Sir", it was. And joy of joy, Jones, 322 00:20:31,245 --> 00:20:33,285 we have to go to the re-enactment. 323 00:20:33,289 --> 00:20:35,277 We? 324 00:20:35,285 --> 00:20:37,281 We. Hello, Tom. 325 00:20:37,285 --> 00:20:39,301 Mr Mayor. 326 00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:41,269 What can I do for you? 327 00:20:41,277 --> 00:20:43,281 Well, I was just wondering why your chief 328 00:20:43,289 --> 00:20:45,241 never comes along to anything I organise. 329 00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:46,301 He always sends his underlings. 330 00:20:46,309 --> 00:20:49,317 Probably because he doesn't want to be seen with a cowboy builder. 331 00:20:49,321 --> 00:20:51,325 You just never get it, do you? 332 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:55,317 Never come to the party, always out there in the cold. 333 00:20:55,325 --> 00:20:57,293 What are you going to do about my roof? 334 00:20:57,297 --> 00:20:59,313 Hands are tied, Tom. 335 00:20:59,317 --> 00:21:01,297 Contracts, guarantees, accountants. 336 00:21:01,305 --> 00:21:04,297 Of course, if you know how to shake a hand and stand on one leg... 337 00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,313 If you've got no official business here, 338 00:21:06,317 --> 00:21:08,321 Mr Mayor, would you please go away? 339 00:21:08,329 --> 00:21:11,329 Right. Well, I'll see you at the do then. 340 00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:15,237 (LAUGHS) 341 00:21:17,257 --> 00:21:20,305 BRASS BAND PLAYS 342 00:21:20,309 --> 00:21:23,273 AIRCRAFT ENGINES WHIR 343 00:21:27,333 --> 00:21:31,329 And here comes the Red Baron, Manfred von Richthofen, 344 00:21:32,237 --> 00:21:35,329 being chased through the skies by our own Captain Roy Brown. 345 00:21:40,241 --> 00:21:41,333 (LAUGHS) How do I look? 346 00:21:43,317 --> 00:21:46,289 Interesting. You can go now. 347 00:21:46,293 --> 00:21:49,317 PEOPLE CHATTER 348 00:22:01,253 --> 00:22:04,285 Could this be curtains for the Red Baron? 349 00:22:04,289 --> 00:22:06,281 There they go! 350 00:22:06,285 --> 00:22:08,237 Big cheer for our chap. 351 00:22:08,245 --> 00:22:10,265 Hip, hip... CHEERING 352 00:22:14,277 --> 00:22:16,325 It's far too close to the crowd, that. 353 00:22:16,329 --> 00:22:19,245 Health and safety will have a fit. 354 00:22:23,285 --> 00:22:26,269 Lionel, how goes it? 355 00:22:26,273 --> 00:22:28,261 Watch this. 356 00:22:28,265 --> 00:22:30,265 FEEDBACK SCREECHES 357 00:22:30,273 --> 00:22:31,325 Oi! FEEDBACK CONTINUES 358 00:22:31,329 --> 00:22:33,325 Stop that, you rascal, you. (LAUGHS) 359 00:22:33,329 --> 00:22:35,289 Keep up the good work. 360 00:22:35,297 --> 00:22:38,281 The Midsomers always wore their lanyards on the right. 361 00:22:38,285 --> 00:22:40,309 Never on the left! 362 00:22:40,317 --> 00:22:43,321 And what about their... their pink socks? 363 00:22:43,325 --> 00:22:45,269 Which feet did they wear them on? 364 00:22:45,273 --> 00:22:46,321 (LAUGHS) 365 00:22:46,325 --> 00:22:49,329 I know you Ryan. Shankhill Road. 366 00:22:50,237 --> 00:22:53,301 You were a disgrace then, no better now. 367 00:22:53,309 --> 00:22:56,249 Get out of my way. (LAUGHS) 368 00:22:58,313 --> 00:23:00,309 See all this? 369 00:23:01,317 --> 00:23:03,293 North Meadow. 370 00:23:05,325 --> 00:23:08,237 The 30 acres. 371 00:23:08,241 --> 00:23:09,329 Ooh, that. Yeah! 372 00:23:10,237 --> 00:23:13,241 100 townhouses, easy. Very easy. 373 00:23:13,249 --> 00:23:16,293 Looking right into the Hammond's garden. 374 00:23:16,297 --> 00:23:18,289 Profit and revenge, all in one. 375 00:23:18,293 --> 00:23:22,249 (LAUGHS) Brilliant, Dad. Brilliant. 376 00:23:27,277 --> 00:23:29,285 I've got them all on here. 377 00:23:29,293 --> 00:23:32,265 All what? All the local women. 378 00:23:32,273 --> 00:23:35,241 I'll check the lot of them and I'll sniff yours out. 379 00:23:35,245 --> 00:23:38,253 You are losing the plot, Jude. 380 00:23:39,265 --> 00:23:42,257 Helen's been at the dressing-up box again, has she? 381 00:23:42,265 --> 00:23:43,309 Just shut up. What? 382 00:23:43,317 --> 00:23:45,313 You're drunk and you're being an idiot. 383 00:23:45,317 --> 00:23:47,261 Oh-whoo! 384 00:23:47,265 --> 00:23:49,253 Get him then. 385 00:23:53,277 --> 00:23:55,241 ♪ When I was in the army 386 00:23:55,245 --> 00:23:57,253 ♪ I was a cavalry man, you know 387 00:23:57,257 --> 00:23:59,241 ♪ And whenever I went on parade 388 00:23:59,245 --> 00:24:00,329 ♪ A magnificent picture I made 389 00:24:01,237 --> 00:24:02,317 ♪ With my galloping here and my galloping there 390 00:24:02,321 --> 00:24:04,305 ♪ This ridiculous habit I got 391 00:24:04,313 --> 00:24:06,297 ♪ And I'm damned if I don't think I'm galloping now 392 00:24:06,301 --> 00:24:08,273 ♪ Whether up in the saddle or not 393 00:24:08,277 --> 00:24:10,301 ♪ And the people, they stare at me so 394 00:24:10,305 --> 00:24:13,293 ♪ For it matters not where I may go 395 00:24:13,297 --> 00:24:17,241 ♪ It's my bumpity-bumpity-bumpity 396 00:24:17,245 --> 00:24:18,329 ♪ As if I was riding my charger... ♪ 397 00:24:29,241 --> 00:24:31,289 What's happening here then, eh? 398 00:24:31,297 --> 00:24:33,309 Piss off, Danny. It's a bloody Hammond. 399 00:24:33,313 --> 00:24:35,265 You got to be kidding me. 400 00:24:35,273 --> 00:24:36,313 Ah! Want me to break it? 401 00:24:36,321 --> 00:24:39,253 No. No. Well, on your bike. 402 00:24:39,257 --> 00:24:40,301 You'll keep. 403 00:24:40,305 --> 00:24:42,253 You'll KEEP! 404 00:24:44,329 --> 00:24:46,317 He's a little treasure. 405 00:24:46,325 --> 00:24:48,305 Yeah. He's going to be your brother-in-law. 406 00:24:48,309 --> 00:24:51,245 Don't...ruin it. 407 00:24:52,329 --> 00:24:55,237 ♪ Bumpity-bumpity-bumpity-bump 408 00:24:55,241 --> 00:24:56,329 ♪ As proud as an Indian rajah 409 00:24:56,333 --> 00:24:59,245 ♪ All the girls declare 410 00:24:59,249 --> 00:25:01,265 ♪ That I'm a gay old stager 411 00:25:01,269 --> 00:25:03,273 ♪ Hey! Hey! Clear the way! 412 00:25:03,277 --> 00:25:05,317 ♪ Here comes the galloping major. ♪ 413 00:25:07,253 --> 00:25:09,265 That's a fine bit of woman. 414 00:25:10,277 --> 00:25:12,249 Away team, Mickey. 415 00:25:12,253 --> 00:25:14,277 Eh, yeah. We'll see. 416 00:25:15,329 --> 00:25:17,321 That was really good. 417 00:25:17,325 --> 00:25:19,277 Thank you. 418 00:25:19,281 --> 00:25:22,293 I was wondering, Kate... 419 00:25:22,297 --> 00:25:24,249 What? 420 00:25:24,257 --> 00:25:26,333 You're a great-looking girl, see, so... 421 00:25:27,237 --> 00:25:28,297 I was hoping that... 422 00:25:29,309 --> 00:25:32,273 ..maybe you might consider playing for the home team now and again. 423 00:25:32,277 --> 00:25:33,313 (LAUGHS) 424 00:25:36,325 --> 00:25:38,281 Oh! (LAUGHS) 425 00:25:38,285 --> 00:25:41,257 (GRUNTS) 426 00:25:41,261 --> 00:25:48,237 It is dawn on July 1, 1916. 427 00:25:48,245 --> 00:25:54,273 On this day, 58,000 British troops will die 428 00:25:54,277 --> 00:25:57,269 in the bloodiest day of our history. 429 00:25:59,249 --> 00:26:04,309 Amongst them were 88 members of own Royal Midsomer Yeomanry. 430 00:26:04,317 --> 00:26:10,261 The day begins with the artillery bombardment 431 00:26:10,269 --> 00:26:13,269 to get jolly Hun to keep his head down. 432 00:26:13,273 --> 00:26:16,265 DISTANT BATTLE 433 00:26:16,269 --> 00:26:18,309 Now, watch it all go to hell. 434 00:26:18,313 --> 00:26:21,309 At 5am precisely 435 00:26:21,317 --> 00:26:26,305 a huge landmine planted directly under the enemy lines 436 00:26:26,309 --> 00:26:28,257 is the signal to attack. 437 00:26:30,261 --> 00:26:31,301 DETONATOR WHIRS 438 00:26:32,325 --> 00:26:34,273 (VARIOUS GASPS) 439 00:26:34,277 --> 00:26:36,325 WHISTLE BLOWS 440 00:26:36,329 --> 00:26:38,309 (SOLDIERS YELL) 441 00:26:38,313 --> 00:26:40,249 Get out! Get out! 442 00:26:42,237 --> 00:26:44,309 Advance, boys! Come on, men. 443 00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:57,321 Keep together. 444 00:26:59,333 --> 00:27:02,265 Alas... 445 00:27:02,273 --> 00:27:06,249 the artillery fire had had little effect, 446 00:27:06,257 --> 00:27:10,333 and the German machine gunners relentlessly mowed down our boys... 447 00:27:11,237 --> 00:27:12,289 (MEN SCREAM) 448 00:27:12,297 --> 00:27:16,285 ..who gave their lives for the kingdom - our country. 449 00:27:16,289 --> 00:27:19,277 MACHINE GUN BARKS 450 00:27:26,265 --> 00:27:29,301 EXPLOSIVE BOOMS ECHO 451 00:27:29,305 --> 00:27:33,277 (SOLDIERS SCREAM) 452 00:27:35,305 --> 00:27:38,309 (SOLDIERS CRY OUT IN PAIN) 453 00:27:41,261 --> 00:27:44,325 BIRDSONG 454 00:27:46,249 --> 00:27:48,241 Quite moving, really. 455 00:27:50,309 --> 00:27:52,277 Fall in. Come on. 456 00:27:52,281 --> 00:27:54,329 That's it. Fall in. Fall in. 457 00:27:54,333 --> 00:27:56,269 Go on! 458 00:27:58,241 --> 00:28:00,261 Royal Midsomers! 459 00:28:00,265 --> 00:28:04,237 Ah...left, quick march! 460 00:28:04,241 --> 00:28:07,317 Left. Left. Left, right, left. 461 00:28:07,321 --> 00:28:09,333 Left. Left. 462 00:28:10,237 --> 00:28:12,257 That way. That way. Left, right. 463 00:28:12,261 --> 00:28:13,325 Left. Left. 464 00:28:20,321 --> 00:28:22,261 What? 465 00:28:24,329 --> 00:28:27,237 Why did you marry Dad? 466 00:28:27,241 --> 00:28:28,277 Oh. 467 00:28:30,241 --> 00:28:33,301 Well, the Harcourts were military as well, 468 00:28:33,309 --> 00:28:37,261 so it was a sort of... amalgamation of the regiments. 469 00:28:37,269 --> 00:28:39,261 A bit like the Surreys and the Midsomers. 470 00:28:39,265 --> 00:28:40,329 But Daddy doesn't like women. 471 00:28:42,333 --> 00:28:44,305 He's queer as a coot. 472 00:28:44,313 --> 00:28:48,257 Well, obviously he knew how to do his duty by his family. 473 00:28:48,261 --> 00:28:50,329 A couple of times, at least. 474 00:28:51,237 --> 00:28:54,301 (SIGHS) God, no wonder you're such a basket case. 475 00:28:54,305 --> 00:28:58,257 Heh. Thank you, darling. 476 00:29:07,309 --> 00:29:09,269 Henry? 477 00:29:09,273 --> 00:29:11,269 Hm! Thank you. 478 00:29:11,273 --> 00:29:12,309 (SIGHS) 479 00:29:16,297 --> 00:29:18,313 The whole family's going to hell. 480 00:29:19,321 --> 00:29:21,269 Yes, Henry. 481 00:29:21,273 --> 00:29:23,249 Sophie... 482 00:29:23,253 --> 00:29:26,281 Is she a... Is she a communist? 483 00:29:26,285 --> 00:29:28,301 No, Henry. She's a social worker. 484 00:29:31,237 --> 00:29:34,269 Well, Kate...what's wrong with her? 485 00:29:34,277 --> 00:29:38,309 Why does she... Why does... Why does she dress like that? 486 00:29:38,313 --> 00:29:40,265 I can't imagine. 487 00:29:40,269 --> 00:29:43,241 And Johnny... (LAUGHS) 488 00:29:44,269 --> 00:29:48,305 If it hadn't been for you and me, where would this whole family be now? 489 00:29:48,309 --> 00:29:50,305 Hey, Bella? (CHUCKLES) 490 00:29:50,309 --> 00:29:52,321 Duty. That's what matters. 491 00:29:54,269 --> 00:29:56,249 Duty. 492 00:30:03,313 --> 00:30:06,265 Good night, Henry. Right-o. 493 00:30:09,321 --> 00:30:11,333 (SIGHS) 494 00:30:46,333 --> 00:30:49,241 FOOTSTEPS Left. Left. 495 00:30:49,245 --> 00:30:51,249 Left, right, left. 496 00:30:51,253 --> 00:30:53,253 And...halt! 497 00:30:53,257 --> 00:30:57,237 Right. Keep quiet. 498 00:30:58,249 --> 00:30:59,297 Keep low. 499 00:30:59,301 --> 00:31:01,237 Let's go. 500 00:31:17,253 --> 00:31:18,293 Ugh. 501 00:31:40,261 --> 00:31:42,257 (GRUMBLES) 502 00:31:48,313 --> 00:31:52,333 MEN WHISTLE WARTIME SONG 503 00:32:09,253 --> 00:32:11,261 Royal Midsomers...halt! 504 00:32:13,285 --> 00:32:14,333 Squad... 505 00:32:15,237 --> 00:32:17,253 take your positions. 506 00:32:27,249 --> 00:32:29,289 Henry Hammond, 507 00:32:29,297 --> 00:32:33,317 you have been found guilty of cowardice and desertion 508 00:32:33,321 --> 00:32:35,317 in the face of the enemy. 509 00:32:35,325 --> 00:32:38,273 It is the verdict of this court marshal 510 00:32:38,277 --> 00:32:41,261 that you be executed by firing squad. 511 00:32:42,269 --> 00:32:44,249 Have you anything to say? 512 00:32:44,253 --> 00:32:47,245 (GRUNTS) 513 00:32:48,305 --> 00:32:50,297 So sorry...sir. 514 00:32:51,321 --> 00:32:54,309 Final words...General? 515 00:32:54,313 --> 00:32:58,261 You miserable little oink! 516 00:32:58,269 --> 00:33:01,289 I'll have the lot of you for assault. 517 00:33:02,329 --> 00:33:04,273 But you'll be dead, sir. 518 00:33:06,245 --> 00:33:08,245 Just like Tommy Hicks' death. 519 00:33:08,253 --> 00:33:11,241 Do you really think I'm going to be intimidated 520 00:33:11,249 --> 00:33:14,245 by a pathetic bunch of drunken bank clerks 521 00:33:14,249 --> 00:33:16,333 and a cocky corporal, do you? 522 00:33:17,241 --> 00:33:20,285 You're nothing, Ryan, nothing but a tick. 523 00:33:21,297 --> 00:33:23,297 Now, undo my arms, I'll knock you down. 524 00:33:23,301 --> 00:33:25,277 Firing squad! 525 00:33:25,281 --> 00:33:26,317 'Shun! 526 00:33:29,273 --> 00:33:32,257 Oh, come. Look, he's had it coming to him for ages. 527 00:33:34,321 --> 00:33:36,261 Take aim. 528 00:33:37,293 --> 00:33:38,333 TAKE AIM! 529 00:33:42,333 --> 00:33:45,261 Say goodbye, General. 530 00:33:48,265 --> 00:33:50,257 Fire! GUNSHOTS CRACK 531 00:33:58,237 --> 00:34:00,281 Now you how it feels. 532 00:34:03,285 --> 00:34:07,281 Dah! (CACKLES) 533 00:34:07,285 --> 00:34:08,333 Pathetic bunch, all of you. 534 00:34:10,241 --> 00:34:12,241 Now take me home. 535 00:34:12,245 --> 00:34:13,317 To hell with you. 536 00:34:13,321 --> 00:34:16,241 Come on. Let's go. 537 00:34:16,245 --> 00:34:17,301 Right turn. 538 00:34:17,305 --> 00:34:19,305 Quick...march! 539 00:34:19,309 --> 00:34:22,305 Left. Right. Left. Right. 540 00:34:22,309 --> 00:34:24,317 Left. Left. Right. 541 00:34:24,321 --> 00:34:26,273 He's got a lot of balls. 542 00:34:26,277 --> 00:34:28,273 Oh, shut up! 543 00:34:28,277 --> 00:34:29,325 Left, right, left. 544 00:34:29,329 --> 00:34:32,265 Left. Left. 545 00:34:32,269 --> 00:34:34,253 Left, right, left. 546 00:34:36,321 --> 00:34:38,293 BUSH CRACKLES 547 00:34:40,301 --> 00:34:42,293 Who's there? 548 00:34:49,329 --> 00:34:51,269 What do you want? 549 00:35:02,293 --> 00:35:05,317 SOFT WHIRRING 550 00:35:20,285 --> 00:35:21,325 HORN TOOTS 551 00:35:38,261 --> 00:35:40,313 George? I don't know what happened. 552 00:35:40,317 --> 00:35:42,281 I don't know. 553 00:35:42,289 --> 00:35:44,325 I was just doing my usual milk round. 554 00:35:44,333 --> 00:35:48,261 Now I know Armadale is tricky, so I-I was being extra careful. 555 00:35:48,269 --> 00:35:51,265 This is Mr Bullard. Right down the middle of the road he come. 556 00:35:51,273 --> 00:35:54,245 I swerved, but h-he turned right back into me. 557 00:35:55,289 --> 00:35:57,261 Turned his chair? Aye. 558 00:35:57,269 --> 00:36:00,261 Deliberately come into me. I doubt that. 559 00:36:00,265 --> 00:36:02,301 Well... It's the truth. 560 00:36:02,309 --> 00:36:04,293 Very difficult to operate a wheelchair 561 00:36:04,301 --> 00:36:06,317 when someone's shot half your head off. 562 00:36:11,293 --> 00:36:13,325 Are you born sensitive, George, 563 00:36:13,333 --> 00:36:16,293 or did you develop the skill over the years? 564 00:36:31,281 --> 00:36:34,277 Who is that? Derek Watson, sir. 565 00:36:34,285 --> 00:36:37,285 Found him singing in a ditch. Interesting story, though. 566 00:36:41,249 --> 00:36:42,305 It was a joke! 567 00:36:42,313 --> 00:36:44,321 We thought we'd just freak the old bugger out. 568 00:36:44,325 --> 00:36:46,269 But it didn't work? 569 00:36:46,273 --> 00:36:49,325 No! He wasn't a person. He was a... 570 00:36:49,329 --> 00:36:51,273 bloody tank. 571 00:36:53,301 --> 00:36:55,257 He knew we wouldn't kill him. 572 00:36:55,265 --> 00:36:56,317 He wasn't the least bit frightened by us. 573 00:36:56,325 --> 00:36:59,301 So it all backfired. Aye. 574 00:36:59,305 --> 00:37:01,293 A crazy idea. 575 00:37:01,301 --> 00:37:05,237 Looked good when we'd had a few pints, but...we didn't kill him. 576 00:37:06,245 --> 00:37:07,305 Now you've been through us all. 577 00:37:07,313 --> 00:37:09,317 We're not a hit squad. we're just a bunch of idiots! 578 00:37:14,245 --> 00:37:15,301 What? 579 00:37:15,309 --> 00:37:20,257 Your friends may be as moronic as you say they are, Mickey, 580 00:37:20,261 --> 00:37:21,321 but you are not. 581 00:37:21,325 --> 00:37:23,301 Yes, I am. 582 00:37:23,305 --> 00:37:26,301 No, you're not. You leave the folly 583 00:37:26,309 --> 00:37:29,289 and, lo, someone who just happens to have a gun 584 00:37:29,297 --> 00:37:32,257 happens to be passing by and shoots Henry. 585 00:37:32,261 --> 00:37:34,281 How very fortunate for them. 586 00:37:34,289 --> 00:37:37,289 It was a coincidence. They must have followed us, sir. 587 00:37:40,253 --> 00:37:41,333 Would you excuse us? 588 00:37:58,241 --> 00:37:59,289 What do you think? 589 00:37:59,293 --> 00:38:01,305 I don't know. 590 00:38:01,313 --> 00:38:03,305 Well, that's no way to plan a murder, is it? 591 00:38:03,313 --> 00:38:06,281 A bunch of drunken yobs, obscure location, 592 00:38:06,285 --> 00:38:08,245 plenty of witnesses. 593 00:38:15,297 --> 00:38:19,261 Mickey, you told someone, didn't you? 594 00:38:19,265 --> 00:38:20,309 Mm? 595 00:38:20,313 --> 00:38:23,249 And they piggybacked on your plans. 596 00:38:23,257 --> 00:38:26,261 Who was it, Mickey? Who did you tell about your little game? 597 00:38:26,265 --> 00:38:28,265 Oh, just my mates, sir. 598 00:38:28,269 --> 00:38:29,329 Apart from your mates, 599 00:38:30,237 --> 00:38:32,245 who else could have known, could have overheard something? 600 00:38:32,249 --> 00:38:34,237 Anyone. 601 00:38:34,245 --> 00:38:36,293 Guys might have told their wives, whatever. 602 00:38:36,297 --> 00:38:38,313 It was just a joke! 603 00:38:38,317 --> 00:38:40,265 Wasn't bloody World War III! 604 00:38:44,305 --> 00:38:46,293 OK, Mickey, get out. 605 00:38:48,277 --> 00:38:50,245 You're still a suspect. Yes, sir. 606 00:38:51,305 --> 00:38:55,245 So...who didn't like Henry Hammond? 607 00:38:55,249 --> 00:38:57,293 Half the county. 608 00:38:57,301 --> 00:39:00,293 But let's start with his natural enemies. 609 00:39:00,297 --> 00:39:01,333 DOORBELL CHIMES 610 00:39:05,253 --> 00:39:08,325 Oh, Mr Barnaby! It's tragic, isn't it? 611 00:39:08,329 --> 00:39:10,317 Yes. Yes, it is. 612 00:39:10,325 --> 00:39:12,329 Very tragic. Tragic. 613 00:39:13,237 --> 00:39:15,241 The way when anything happens to a Hammond, 614 00:39:15,249 --> 00:39:18,257 the police are round here faster than you can say 'hide the silver'. 615 00:39:18,265 --> 00:39:22,241 Mrs Hicks, I am pursuing normal lines of inquiry. 616 00:39:22,249 --> 00:39:25,249 Of a so-called gentry who obviously have you in their pocket. 617 00:39:28,273 --> 00:39:30,321 Mrs Hicks, will you mind telling me where you were last night, please? 618 00:39:32,281 --> 00:39:34,261 We were all here. 619 00:39:34,265 --> 00:39:36,289 I was asleep. 620 00:39:36,293 --> 00:39:38,253 In my study. 621 00:39:38,261 --> 00:39:40,329 In your study. He snores. 622 00:39:40,333 --> 00:39:43,265 So I sent him to his study. 623 00:39:43,273 --> 00:39:45,269 FOOS-BALL BALL ROLLS You were out and about, were you? 624 00:39:45,273 --> 00:39:47,261 Well, only for about ten minutes. 625 00:39:47,269 --> 00:39:50,245 Then I could still hear him snoring through the floor. 626 00:39:50,253 --> 00:39:53,261 It's the cheese that does it. He eats it last thing. 627 00:39:53,265 --> 00:39:56,257 FOOS-BALL BALL ROLLS 628 00:39:56,261 --> 00:39:57,305 Will you? 629 00:39:57,309 --> 00:39:59,257 What? 630 00:39:59,261 --> 00:40:01,249 Will you give that a REST...please? 631 00:40:02,325 --> 00:40:05,237 Thank you. Where were you? 632 00:40:07,253 --> 00:40:08,297 In my bed. 633 00:40:09,333 --> 00:40:11,313 On my own. 634 00:40:11,321 --> 00:40:15,253 I checked on him too, just to tuck him in. 635 00:40:15,257 --> 00:40:17,273 Mum! 636 00:40:20,261 --> 00:40:21,309 DOOR CLOSES 637 00:40:21,313 --> 00:40:23,249 So... 638 00:40:28,305 --> 00:40:30,261 Where were you? 639 00:40:30,269 --> 00:40:32,273 I was just having a walk, clear my head a bit. 640 00:40:32,277 --> 00:40:35,237 You were seeing your tart. 641 00:40:35,241 --> 00:40:37,321 Jude, there is no tart. 642 00:40:37,325 --> 00:40:40,245 I'll go public. 643 00:40:40,253 --> 00:40:42,309 Jude... Take you apart. 644 00:40:42,317 --> 00:40:46,253 You think I don't read those papers you give me to sign? 645 00:40:46,261 --> 00:40:50,257 You think I don't know what you've put in my name? Darling! 646 00:40:50,261 --> 00:40:52,321 You think you'll get any of it back? 647 00:40:52,325 --> 00:40:56,241 Jude, that is my operating capital. 648 00:40:56,245 --> 00:40:57,301 Mine now. 649 00:40:58,317 --> 00:41:03,281 And when I find your slut, I'll have ALL your money. 650 00:41:03,289 --> 00:41:05,281 And you'll be in the slammer thinking, 651 00:41:05,289 --> 00:41:09,241 "What a silly boy I was for cheating on my lovely wife." 652 00:41:09,245 --> 00:41:11,277 But you are my lovely wife. 653 00:41:11,281 --> 00:41:13,301 I love only you. 654 00:41:13,305 --> 00:41:15,321 Genuinely. 655 00:41:15,325 --> 00:41:17,273 Honestly. 656 00:41:19,297 --> 00:41:21,237 Oh. 657 00:41:23,269 --> 00:41:25,245 Really, Davey? 658 00:41:25,249 --> 00:41:27,317 Really, Judy. 659 00:41:29,265 --> 00:41:31,285 Now, isn't that nice? 660 00:41:36,285 --> 00:41:40,237 TELEPHONE RINGS 661 00:41:44,277 --> 00:41:45,325 Martin. 662 00:41:45,329 --> 00:41:47,325 Ah? I was ringing about Henry. 663 00:41:47,329 --> 00:41:49,305 Yes? 664 00:41:49,309 --> 00:41:52,269 Nothing to do with you, was it? 665 00:41:52,273 --> 00:41:53,325 Martin! 666 00:41:53,329 --> 00:41:55,297 Well, it puts you one step closer. 667 00:41:55,301 --> 00:41:57,301 Just SHUT UP! 668 00:42:19,333 --> 00:42:22,265 SOBBING 669 00:42:31,265 --> 00:42:32,333 Ooh. 670 00:42:33,241 --> 00:42:35,237 Dickens. Monsters. 671 00:42:35,241 --> 00:42:38,237 (SOBS) 672 00:42:44,325 --> 00:42:50,273 My wife has a few problems in the... um...emotional-stability area. 673 00:42:50,281 --> 00:42:54,249 Something like this tends to... Maybe we should go to the study. 674 00:42:54,253 --> 00:42:55,289 Please? 675 00:42:58,297 --> 00:43:01,257 You go talk to the Hammond daughters. 676 00:43:05,301 --> 00:43:08,317 I suppose you want to know where we all were at the time of the murder. 677 00:43:08,321 --> 00:43:10,257 Yes, sir. 678 00:43:11,277 --> 00:43:14,313 (SOBS) 679 00:43:21,329 --> 00:43:24,301 So, you and your wife have separate bedrooms. 680 00:43:24,305 --> 00:43:27,333 Mr Barnaby, please don't be so coy. 681 00:43:28,237 --> 00:43:30,305 This is a small community and my... 682 00:43:30,313 --> 00:43:33,325 proclivities are not exactly unknown. 683 00:43:33,329 --> 00:43:36,269 I-I-I was not aware. 684 00:43:36,273 --> 00:43:37,329 And you do have two daughters. 685 00:43:38,237 --> 00:43:40,301 The facts are not mutually exclusive. 686 00:43:40,305 --> 00:43:42,301 Maybe you should read a little more. 687 00:43:42,309 --> 00:43:46,241 So, how were you getting on with your late father? 688 00:43:46,245 --> 00:43:49,257 My father was real army, 689 00:43:49,265 --> 00:43:53,277 the last in the long line of stalwart Hammond warriors. 690 00:43:55,249 --> 00:43:57,329 I was his worst nightmare. 691 00:43:57,333 --> 00:43:59,325 And he mine. 692 00:44:01,325 --> 00:44:03,333 Well, if you really must know, 693 00:44:04,241 --> 00:44:06,261 around that time I was having a bit of serious snog. 694 00:44:06,265 --> 00:44:07,321 Can I have the gentleman's name? 695 00:44:07,325 --> 00:44:10,277 The gentleman's name was Caroline. 696 00:44:10,281 --> 00:44:11,317 Caroline? 697 00:44:13,289 --> 00:44:16,261 Oh. Right. 698 00:44:16,265 --> 00:44:18,237 Right. Right. But I... 699 00:44:18,241 --> 00:44:20,265 I apologise for assuming... 700 00:44:20,269 --> 00:44:21,321 (CLEARS THROAT) 701 00:44:21,329 --> 00:44:24,253 Look, you really should talk to my mother. 702 00:44:24,257 --> 00:44:26,249 She holds the keys to this family. 703 00:44:26,257 --> 00:44:28,305 She knows what goes on behind the closed doors. 704 00:44:28,309 --> 00:44:30,305 That's why she's such a mess. 705 00:44:30,309 --> 00:44:33,245 Mrs Hammond, I'm sorry, 706 00:44:33,253 --> 00:44:36,273 I know this is probably not the time to be asking tedious questions. 707 00:44:36,281 --> 00:44:39,265 But you know the longer a suspect goes unapprehended 708 00:44:39,269 --> 00:44:41,265 the more likely he is to...to... 709 00:44:42,289 --> 00:44:44,309 Then again, if you don't feel up... 710 00:44:44,313 --> 00:44:46,313 No, no, no, no, no. 711 00:44:46,317 --> 00:44:48,293 It's all right. I'm all right. 712 00:44:48,297 --> 00:44:51,253 What... What do you want to know? 713 00:44:51,261 --> 00:44:54,261 Now, are you sure? Yes, for God's sake! 714 00:44:54,269 --> 00:44:57,237 Henry dealt in certainties and now he is certainly dead. 715 00:44:58,265 --> 00:45:01,253 We will mourn for him when the enemy is routed. 716 00:45:01,257 --> 00:45:03,285 Is there an enemy, Mrs Hammond? 717 00:45:03,293 --> 00:45:05,289 Well, he didn't blow his own head off, did he? 718 00:45:05,297 --> 00:45:08,237 Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you meant a specific enemy. 719 00:45:08,241 --> 00:45:09,329 Well, yes, I do. 720 00:45:09,333 --> 00:45:11,285 The Hickses. 721 00:45:11,289 --> 00:45:14,301 This is what they exist for, 722 00:45:14,305 --> 00:45:17,249 to make our lives a wasteland. 723 00:45:17,257 --> 00:45:20,285 You were very close to your father-in-law. 724 00:45:22,305 --> 00:45:24,245 Loved him. 725 00:45:26,245 --> 00:45:27,297 (Hated him.) 726 00:45:27,301 --> 00:45:31,269 Love...hate... 727 00:45:33,241 --> 00:45:36,281 What's the difference, Mr Barnaby? 728 00:45:38,269 --> 00:45:39,333 What's the difference? 729 00:45:55,269 --> 00:45:57,273 Your whereabouts last night, Ms Hammond? 730 00:45:57,277 --> 00:45:59,281 I was having my portrait painted. 731 00:45:59,285 --> 00:46:01,277 All night? 732 00:46:01,281 --> 00:46:02,333 Except for when I was having sex. 733 00:46:03,241 --> 00:46:04,317 With a man? What? 734 00:46:04,321 --> 00:46:07,253 Sorry. I'm sorry. No, no. 735 00:46:07,257 --> 00:46:08,301 Ah? I was... 736 00:46:08,305 --> 00:46:10,249 Talking to my sister. 737 00:46:10,253 --> 00:46:11,313 Yeah. 738 00:46:11,317 --> 00:46:13,261 Ah? Your grandfather... 739 00:46:13,265 --> 00:46:15,297 Was a bore and a bully. 740 00:46:15,301 --> 00:46:17,269 And who did he bully? 741 00:46:17,273 --> 00:46:19,285 Everyone. My parents. 742 00:46:19,289 --> 00:46:21,325 My dark-side-of-the-moon sister. 743 00:46:21,333 --> 00:46:24,273 They didn't do all that damage to themselves, you know. 744 00:46:24,281 --> 00:46:26,293 But would anyone have wanted him killed? 745 00:46:26,297 --> 00:46:28,245 Well, obviously, someone did. 746 00:46:28,249 --> 00:46:29,321 A Hicks, perhaps. 747 00:46:29,325 --> 00:46:31,305 I do hope not. 748 00:46:31,313 --> 00:46:33,285 I'd hate to marry into a family of murderers. 749 00:46:34,293 --> 00:46:36,241 Marry? 750 00:46:36,245 --> 00:46:38,317 Yes. I'm marrying Will Hicks. 751 00:46:38,325 --> 00:46:42,321 And...how will that go down with your respective families? 752 00:46:42,325 --> 00:46:45,289 I don't care, Mr Jones. 753 00:46:45,297 --> 00:46:48,269 I've never been part of this idiotic vendetta. 754 00:46:48,277 --> 00:46:51,321 Now, anything else? I do have half of Eastern Europe out there. 755 00:46:54,305 --> 00:46:59,245 (CHILDREN YELL IN DISTANCE) 756 00:47:00,289 --> 00:47:05,257 I'll miss him. Bugging Henry gave me something worth living for. 757 00:47:05,261 --> 00:47:07,293 Might as well croak myself now. 758 00:47:07,301 --> 00:47:09,321 Oh, come on, man. There's no need for that. 759 00:47:09,325 --> 00:47:11,277 What about Biddy? 760 00:47:11,285 --> 00:47:14,241 Ah! She's a nutter. You don't want to listen to her. 761 00:47:14,249 --> 00:47:17,249 She talks cobblers from breakfast to dinner. 762 00:47:17,253 --> 00:47:18,289 I'm only in there for the sex. 763 00:47:19,301 --> 00:47:21,269 She's very... Right. Thank you. 764 00:47:23,289 --> 00:47:25,321 Oh, so you could have left without her noticing too. 765 00:47:25,325 --> 00:47:28,269 Doubt it. Doesn't miss a thing. 766 00:47:29,321 --> 00:47:31,329 She's very different from her sister. 767 00:47:32,237 --> 00:47:34,277 Can't believe they're from the same stock. 768 00:47:34,285 --> 00:47:36,321 But you're very different from your brother too. 769 00:47:38,253 --> 00:47:39,333 There's no accounting, is there? 770 00:47:43,277 --> 00:47:45,245 Keep pushin', keep pushin'. 771 00:47:45,253 --> 00:47:47,237 Go on, Johnny. Straight left-right, then finish. 772 00:47:48,249 --> 00:47:49,325 Good work. Good work. (GASPS, LAUGHS) 773 00:47:49,329 --> 00:47:52,241 OK. OK. Thank you, thank you. 774 00:47:57,313 --> 00:48:00,325 BOXERS SPAR IN BACKGROUND 775 00:48:05,293 --> 00:48:07,241 That's it. Watch it, Dad. 776 00:48:07,245 --> 00:48:09,241 That's it. That's it. 777 00:48:22,265 --> 00:48:25,309 You know, Simon, ever since my father died 778 00:48:25,317 --> 00:48:30,257 I feel as though a great weight has been lifted off me. 779 00:48:30,261 --> 00:48:32,245 Mm-hm. 780 00:48:32,249 --> 00:48:34,297 He never understood me. 781 00:48:34,301 --> 00:48:37,261 Oh, I think he did, Johnny. 782 00:48:40,269 --> 00:48:42,285 What the hell are you doing? 783 00:48:42,289 --> 00:48:44,285 Rubbing you up the wrong way. 784 00:48:44,289 --> 00:48:46,277 What do you want? 785 00:48:46,285 --> 00:48:48,277 A chat. About what? 786 00:48:48,285 --> 00:48:51,289 The unpublished codicil to your grandfather's will. 787 00:48:52,305 --> 00:48:54,253 Don't know what you're talking about. 788 00:48:54,257 --> 00:48:56,285 Your Grandad Dougie decreed 789 00:48:56,293 --> 00:48:58,333 that when the Hammond family trust wraps up, 790 00:48:59,241 --> 00:49:00,329 then your north meadow comes to the Hicks. 791 00:49:00,333 --> 00:49:02,277 I wonder why he did that. 792 00:49:02,281 --> 00:49:04,313 He was disturbed. 793 00:49:04,317 --> 00:49:06,265 He was guilt-ridden. 794 00:49:07,333 --> 00:49:11,253 Anyway, if my family's gonna get the meadow for free one day, 795 00:49:11,261 --> 00:49:13,281 why don't you and I do a little deal now 796 00:49:13,289 --> 00:49:15,261 and you can cop yourself a tidy sum today. 797 00:49:15,265 --> 00:49:18,257 Sell Hammond land to a Hicks? Ha! 798 00:49:18,265 --> 00:49:21,245 So you can do some dodgy deal and build all over it. 799 00:49:21,249 --> 00:49:24,249 How stupid do you think I am? 800 00:49:25,289 --> 00:49:27,257 Get out of here. 801 00:49:27,265 --> 00:49:30,257 The times, they are a' changing, Johnny. 802 00:49:30,261 --> 00:49:31,317 The servant should be the master. 803 00:49:37,257 --> 00:49:39,245 Well done, Nick. 804 00:49:39,253 --> 00:49:42,241 That was quick. Ha-ha. 805 00:49:42,249 --> 00:49:46,269 They didn't even have to dive. It was 6ft from the edge. 806 00:49:46,277 --> 00:49:48,273 How deep is it there? 18 inches. 807 00:49:48,277 --> 00:49:49,321 How deep in the middle? 808 00:49:49,325 --> 00:49:51,305 25ft. 809 00:49:51,309 --> 00:49:53,257 He wanted us to find it. 810 00:49:53,261 --> 00:49:54,325 What is it? 811 00:49:54,333 --> 00:49:59,237 .455 service revolver, issued about 1916. 812 00:49:59,241 --> 00:50:01,285 And how do you know that, Mr Bullard? 813 00:50:01,293 --> 00:50:04,257 My belief in the great circle of life, Tom. 814 00:50:04,261 --> 00:50:06,273 What goes around comes around. 815 00:50:06,277 --> 00:50:08,265 Oh. (LAUGHS) 816 00:50:08,269 --> 00:50:09,305 What? 817 00:50:10,325 --> 00:50:13,309 Married. Sophie and I are getting married. 818 00:50:13,313 --> 00:50:15,297 I told you. Didn't I tell you? 819 00:50:15,305 --> 00:50:18,301 But she's a Hammond. Traitor. 820 00:50:18,305 --> 00:50:20,285 You total traitor. 821 00:50:20,289 --> 00:50:22,265 She's having you on. 822 00:50:22,273 --> 00:50:23,329 She'll leave you crying at the altar. 823 00:50:23,333 --> 00:50:27,245 Hm! Thanks, Mum. Granddad? 824 00:50:27,249 --> 00:50:28,313 Go for it, son! 825 00:50:28,321 --> 00:50:30,329 Dad! Well, they love each other. 826 00:50:30,333 --> 00:50:32,297 History's history. 827 00:50:32,305 --> 00:50:34,261 It's bloody rubbish, anyway, isn't it? 828 00:50:34,269 --> 00:50:37,269 You've changed your tune. No. It was fun. 829 00:50:37,277 --> 00:50:40,297 But it ain't any more, is it? Not since Henry got killed. 830 00:50:40,301 --> 00:50:42,237 Dave? 831 00:50:43,329 --> 00:50:45,329 Say...something. 832 00:50:48,301 --> 00:50:50,313 I've got to send some emails. 833 00:50:56,313 --> 00:50:58,325 MACHINE WHINES 834 00:50:58,333 --> 00:51:02,249 It looks like Bullard was surprisingly correct. 835 00:51:02,253 --> 00:51:03,333 Regulation service revolver, 836 00:51:04,241 --> 00:51:07,273 issued to Dougie Hammond in the September of 1915. 837 00:51:08,289 --> 00:51:12,281 So it seems likely that the same gun was used to finish off Tommy Hicks. 838 00:51:12,285 --> 00:51:14,237 Very poetic. 839 00:51:14,245 --> 00:51:17,301 Gun was reported stolen from the Hammonds' five years ago. 840 00:51:17,309 --> 00:51:20,309 Danny Hicks was questioned because he already had juvenile form. 841 00:51:20,317 --> 00:51:23,245 And his prints were found all over the gun cabinet, 842 00:51:23,249 --> 00:51:24,293 but nothing came of it. 843 00:51:24,297 --> 00:51:26,265 Why was that? 844 00:51:26,273 --> 00:51:29,285 Looks like the Hammonds didn't press charges. 845 00:51:29,293 --> 00:51:31,257 You'd think the Hammonds would leap at the chance 846 00:51:31,261 --> 00:51:32,333 to nobble a Hicks, wouldn't you? 847 00:51:33,241 --> 00:51:34,293 TELEPHONE RINGS Keep digging. 848 00:51:39,305 --> 00:51:41,253 Where's he gone? 849 00:51:41,257 --> 00:51:43,249 God knows. 850 00:51:43,253 --> 00:51:45,309 'He does that sometimes.' 851 00:51:49,261 --> 00:51:50,325 MAN: There you are, Biddy. 852 00:51:50,333 --> 00:51:53,321 Get this to the chemist and make sure you take the whole course. 853 00:51:53,325 --> 00:51:55,269 Ha! 854 00:51:55,273 --> 00:51:56,321 Hello, Tom. 855 00:51:56,325 --> 00:51:58,277 What's the matter? Is the door stuck? 856 00:51:58,285 --> 00:52:01,245 Biddy likes to be treated through the window. 857 00:52:02,257 --> 00:52:05,269 Let a doctor in the house, and you're on your way out. 858 00:52:05,277 --> 00:52:08,241 What about police officers, Biddy, are they allowed in? 859 00:52:08,245 --> 00:52:10,309 Just don't nick anything. 860 00:52:10,313 --> 00:52:12,269 Thank you. 861 00:52:12,273 --> 00:52:13,309 Ha! 862 00:52:15,313 --> 00:52:18,273 CATS MEOW 863 00:52:18,277 --> 00:52:19,313 DOOR CLOSES 864 00:52:22,305 --> 00:52:25,241 That smells adequately revolting. 865 00:52:25,245 --> 00:52:27,277 It's not for eating, it's for feet. 866 00:52:27,285 --> 00:52:30,241 Oh, for feet, is it? Well, I'm very glad. 867 00:52:30,249 --> 00:52:32,253 So, what do you want? Hammond. 868 00:52:32,257 --> 00:52:33,321 Henry? Well, he's dead. 869 00:52:33,325 --> 00:52:35,333 No. Dougie Hammond, Henry's father. 870 00:52:36,237 --> 00:52:37,309 Ooh, dead a long time. 871 00:52:37,317 --> 00:52:40,257 Yeah. I know he's dead. He died in 1935. 872 00:52:40,265 --> 00:52:43,265 Well, I never knew him. How old do you think I am? 873 00:52:43,273 --> 00:52:45,289 But your mum knew him. But not me. 874 00:52:45,297 --> 00:52:47,305 No, not you. No, not me. No. 875 00:52:47,309 --> 00:52:49,325 Did she ever mention him? 876 00:52:49,329 --> 00:52:54,281 She said he was...sensitive. 877 00:52:54,289 --> 00:52:59,297 And what killed Dougie Hammond so early in his life then? 878 00:52:59,301 --> 00:53:03,245 Ooh, he was a right old worry-bags. 879 00:53:03,253 --> 00:53:06,265 "Guilt", my mum said, after what he'd done to Tommy. 880 00:53:06,273 --> 00:53:09,313 Oh, he spent all the time in church praying for forgiveness 881 00:53:09,317 --> 00:53:11,329 and promising to make amends. 882 00:53:12,237 --> 00:53:13,297 And did he? What? 883 00:53:13,301 --> 00:53:15,265 Make amends. 884 00:53:15,273 --> 00:53:17,305 He looked after his family. What does that mean? 885 00:53:17,309 --> 00:53:21,281 Well, don't ask me. 886 00:53:21,289 --> 00:53:25,277 I'm just a daft old witch. Ask anybody, they'll tell you. 887 00:53:25,285 --> 00:53:29,305 Biddy Dixon, fiddle-de-de, daft as a brush. 888 00:53:29,309 --> 00:53:33,237 (CACKLES) 889 00:53:33,245 --> 00:53:38,305 So that's, "Congratulations, Soph, we're all so happy for you," is it? 890 00:53:43,269 --> 00:53:44,309 You are kidding? 891 00:53:45,317 --> 00:53:47,285 No. 892 00:53:47,289 --> 00:53:49,253 But Will's a Hicks. 893 00:53:49,257 --> 00:53:51,281 Yes, Daddy. Well done. 894 00:53:51,285 --> 00:53:53,333 I bet he wants a dowry. 895 00:53:54,241 --> 00:53:56,269 The Hicks' always want something of ours - our land, our money! 896 00:53:56,273 --> 00:53:57,321 We haven't got any money! 897 00:53:57,325 --> 00:53:59,333 And, God, even with Grandpa dead 898 00:54:00,241 --> 00:54:02,289 we don't get anything until you fall off your perch. 899 00:54:02,297 --> 00:54:04,313 And what is the point of land if you can't FLOG it?! 900 00:54:11,253 --> 00:54:13,237 Mummy. Mm? 901 00:54:13,241 --> 00:54:14,285 What do you think? 902 00:54:14,289 --> 00:54:15,333 About what? 903 00:54:16,237 --> 00:54:18,249 Can you join us for a minute? 904 00:54:18,253 --> 00:54:20,317 Me marrying Will Hicks. 905 00:54:20,321 --> 00:54:23,253 Oh. I'm... I-I... 906 00:54:23,257 --> 00:54:26,245 I think it's...terribly amusing. 907 00:54:26,249 --> 00:54:31,257 (GIGGLES MANICALLY) 908 00:54:31,265 --> 00:54:35,237 I'm so sorry, please excuse me. It's been a very stressful week. 909 00:54:35,241 --> 00:54:39,249 (LAUGHS HEARTILY) 910 00:54:39,253 --> 00:54:43,241 (CACKLES) 911 00:54:46,253 --> 00:54:48,301 Could you pass the salt, please? 912 00:54:48,305 --> 00:54:52,285 SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS 913 00:55:45,249 --> 00:55:47,273 CAR APPROACHES 914 00:55:47,277 --> 00:55:48,321 CAR HAND-BRAKE ENGAGED 915 00:55:48,325 --> 00:55:52,313 SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC CONTINUES 916 00:55:52,317 --> 00:55:55,257 DOOR OPENS, CLOSES 917 00:56:06,325 --> 00:56:08,265 DOOR SHUTS 918 00:56:38,186 --> 00:56:40,142 Who'd have thought it, eh? 919 00:56:40,146 --> 00:56:42,130 Dave Hicks and Bella Hammond. 920 00:56:42,134 --> 00:56:45,166 Hehe! 25 years, you know, next week. 921 00:56:45,170 --> 00:56:48,122 Thank God for small Thorazines. 922 00:56:50,110 --> 00:56:51,166 So...um... 923 00:56:51,174 --> 00:56:53,126 What we gonna do about this wedding, then? 924 00:56:53,130 --> 00:56:55,114 Might it pass? 925 00:56:56,162 --> 00:56:59,134 Most first marriages are a mistake. 926 00:56:59,138 --> 00:57:01,118 That's not quite what I meant. 927 00:57:02,154 --> 00:57:04,102 I mean, let's face it, 928 00:57:04,106 --> 00:57:05,158 they are brother and sister. 929 00:57:11,146 --> 00:57:12,194 What are you talking about? 930 00:57:12,198 --> 00:57:16,110 25 years ago, 931 00:57:16,118 --> 00:57:18,130 your Johnny's playing soldiers in the sauna, 932 00:57:18,134 --> 00:57:20,106 you're coming to me for your jollies. 933 00:57:20,114 --> 00:57:23,118 So, who's the father of your girls? His Worship the Mayor. 934 00:57:26,118 --> 00:57:27,158 What? 935 00:57:28,170 --> 00:57:33,118 Well, Johnny may have an alarming penchant for the other ranks 936 00:57:33,126 --> 00:57:36,178 but he has always understood the meaning of the word 'duty', 937 00:57:36,186 --> 00:57:39,142 however distasteful he may have found it. 938 00:57:44,178 --> 00:57:49,118 Well, pity. I thought we might, one day, you know... 939 00:57:49,122 --> 00:57:51,114 ..legitimise the position. 940 00:57:52,178 --> 00:57:54,150 Me... 941 00:57:54,154 --> 00:57:55,198 ..with you? 942 00:57:56,102 --> 00:57:58,162 Well, once you know about Johnny... 943 00:57:58,166 --> 00:58:02,174 (LAUGHS) 944 00:58:06,118 --> 00:58:07,186 David... 945 00:58:07,194 --> 00:58:11,114 David, I picked you for my occasional indulgence 946 00:58:11,122 --> 00:58:14,106 because it appealed to a certain perversity within me. 947 00:58:14,110 --> 00:58:16,138 When having sex with you, 948 00:58:16,146 --> 00:58:20,162 I like to imagine how deeply horrified the Hammond clan would be. 949 00:58:20,166 --> 00:58:23,114 But, believe me, 950 00:58:23,118 --> 00:58:26,106 otherwise it was...pure farmyard. 951 00:58:26,110 --> 00:58:27,178 Nothing else at all. 952 00:58:34,174 --> 00:58:37,134 Bloody Hammonds. 953 00:58:37,142 --> 00:58:41,142 Think you're so superior! Because we are. 954 00:58:41,150 --> 00:58:44,146 Well, why don't you find another stand-in 955 00:58:44,154 --> 00:58:46,190 for your faggy husband, if you can! 956 00:58:46,198 --> 00:58:50,170 Take a look in there, Lady Macbeth. That's no spring bloody chicken. 957 00:58:57,110 --> 00:59:00,158 BIRDSONG 958 00:59:00,162 --> 00:59:04,122 MELANCHOLIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS 959 00:59:31,150 --> 00:59:34,122 Birth certificates from that period, sir. 960 00:59:34,130 --> 00:59:37,102 They show no connection between the Hicks and the Hammonds. 961 00:59:37,110 --> 00:59:41,198 But Biddy Dixon's mum claimed that Tommy's mother, 962 00:59:42,102 --> 00:59:43,170 a lowly laundry lady, 963 00:59:43,178 --> 00:59:46,122 had been knocked up by Colonel Sebastian Hammond. 964 00:59:46,130 --> 00:59:49,190 So Dougie executed his own half-brother? Alleged half-brother. 965 00:59:49,198 --> 00:59:52,106 You could verify that through DNA analysis, sir. 966 00:59:52,114 --> 00:59:54,194 Ooh, yes, so we could. Good idea, Stephens. 967 00:59:54,198 --> 00:59:56,154 Thank you, sir. 968 00:59:56,162 --> 00:59:59,178 Jones, what news of Danny and the gun? 969 00:59:59,186 --> 01:00:03,114 Says he had nothing to do with the theft from the Hammonds. 970 01:00:03,122 --> 01:00:06,110 Claims his fingerprints must have been planted there 971 01:00:06,114 --> 01:00:07,182 by someone who wanted to frame him. 972 01:00:09,118 --> 01:00:11,102 Is he serious? No, he was winding me up. 973 01:00:11,110 --> 01:00:13,158 He knows we can't touch him on that one. 974 01:00:13,166 --> 01:00:17,170 MEN: # Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Parlez-vous 975 01:00:17,178 --> 01:00:21,178 ♪ Mademoiselle from Armentieres, Parlez-vous 976 01:00:21,186 --> 01:00:25,178 ♪ Mademoiselle from Armentieres, hasn't been...for 40 years 977 01:00:25,182 --> 01:00:28,110 ♪ Rinky-dinky, parlez-vous? 978 01:00:28,114 --> 01:00:29,182 ♪ Have a banana 979 01:00:33,146 --> 01:00:36,170 ♪ The officers get the pie and cake, Parlez-vous? 980 01:00:36,174 --> 01:00:38,198 ♪ The officers get the pie and cake 981 01:00:39,102 --> 01:00:40,174 ♪ All we get is a bellyache 982 01:00:40,178 --> 01:00:42,118 ♪ Rinky-dinky, parlez... ♪ 983 01:00:45,158 --> 01:00:49,170 Ten minutes of an engraver's time in exchange for your life. 984 01:00:49,174 --> 01:00:52,150 That's all a poor man gets. 985 01:00:52,158 --> 01:00:54,110 Hey, none of your commie stuff here, please! 986 01:00:55,138 --> 01:00:57,102 What did the army give me? 987 01:00:57,106 --> 01:00:59,154 Dishonourable discharge, 988 01:00:59,162 --> 01:01:02,182 just for selling off a few bits and bobs they weren't using. 989 01:01:02,190 --> 01:01:05,134 (CHUCKLES) VEHICLE APPROACHES 990 01:01:10,118 --> 01:01:12,114 Where are the kids controlling that? 991 01:01:23,174 --> 01:01:25,114 What's that? 992 01:01:27,154 --> 01:01:28,194 Bloody hell. 993 01:01:30,170 --> 01:01:32,110 That's a detonator. 994 01:01:58,150 --> 01:02:01,170 TOOLS TAP 995 01:02:01,174 --> 01:02:03,110 Sir? 996 01:02:05,162 --> 01:02:07,130 DEVICE BEEPS 997 01:02:07,134 --> 01:02:09,194 Pentaerythritol tetranitrate. 998 01:02:09,198 --> 01:02:12,162 PETM. 999 01:02:12,170 --> 01:02:14,170 The explosive popular with shoe bombers. 1000 01:02:14,174 --> 01:02:16,126 It's easy to mould into any shape 1001 01:02:16,134 --> 01:02:18,158 and remains stable until it's detonated. 1002 01:02:18,166 --> 01:02:23,134 Now, these touch-cards will tell if a person's been handling explosives. 1003 01:02:23,142 --> 01:02:25,162 So, all we've got to do, is to find someone 1004 01:02:25,170 --> 01:02:27,198 with the telltale molecules on their hands, and we've got them. 1005 01:02:28,102 --> 01:02:29,182 Thank you. 1006 01:02:31,138 --> 01:02:33,138 There were three Hammonds on that memorial. 1007 01:02:33,146 --> 01:02:36,138 You really think that I, or any of my men, would try to destroy it? 1008 01:02:36,146 --> 01:02:39,118 What about Lionel? Was it an attempt on his life 1009 01:02:39,126 --> 01:02:41,190 as revenge for the death of your father? 1010 01:02:41,198 --> 01:02:44,162 No. No. It's the Hickses trying to discredit us. 1011 01:02:44,170 --> 01:02:48,122 The Hickses are at the bottom of everything rotten around here. 1012 01:02:48,130 --> 01:02:51,166 Why didn't you press charges when your grandfather's gun was stolen? 1013 01:02:51,170 --> 01:02:54,118 My wife thought it would just create 1014 01:02:54,126 --> 01:02:56,118 further bad feeling between the families. 1015 01:02:56,122 --> 01:02:57,166 Was she worried about that? 1016 01:02:57,170 --> 01:03:00,114 Who knows? 1017 01:03:00,122 --> 01:03:03,166 Let's face it - what do you get for burglary these days? 1018 01:03:03,174 --> 01:03:05,150 A holiday in Wales with a social worker? 1019 01:03:05,158 --> 01:03:08,110 Teneriffe, if it's serious. Thank you. 1020 01:03:10,174 --> 01:03:15,130 ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY 1021 01:03:21,134 --> 01:03:24,154 DRAMATIC HIT 1022 01:03:25,194 --> 01:03:27,134 God! 1023 01:03:32,150 --> 01:03:34,122 Ooh! 1024 01:03:37,146 --> 01:03:39,186 That's my bloody Jag! I loved that car. 1025 01:03:39,194 --> 01:03:42,138 I'd hardly want to blow it up, would I? 1026 01:03:42,146 --> 01:03:46,122 The explosives were initially aimed at the memorial, 1027 01:03:46,126 --> 01:03:47,186 perhaps even at Lionel. 1028 01:03:47,194 --> 01:03:50,190 Right. It was a revenge attempt by the Hammonds, 1029 01:03:50,194 --> 01:03:52,146 plain as the nose on your face. 1030 01:03:52,154 --> 01:03:54,174 But you are deliberately ignoring the obvious 1031 01:03:54,182 --> 01:03:58,118 cos the police and the army see themselves as brothers in arms. 1032 01:03:58,122 --> 01:03:59,158 Do you know your trouble? 1033 01:04:00,170 --> 01:04:03,186 You have no respect for the political and business community 1034 01:04:03,190 --> 01:04:05,154 as represented by their mayor. 1035 01:04:07,150 --> 01:04:11,170 Danny, may we have some more of your ubiquitous fingerprints, please? 1036 01:04:11,178 --> 01:04:14,182 I didn't nick the gun. I wasn't charged, so it didn't happen. 1037 01:04:14,190 --> 01:04:17,154 Well, I choose not to believe that - so your fingerprints now, 1038 01:04:17,162 --> 01:04:19,142 please, on there. FAST PACE FOOTSTEPS 1039 01:04:19,146 --> 01:04:21,106 Where is he? 1040 01:04:21,114 --> 01:04:23,154 He's in conference, Mrs Hicks. Oh, piss off. 1041 01:04:26,126 --> 01:04:28,190 Hello, darling. You are SO dead. 1042 01:04:28,194 --> 01:04:30,174 And why's that, my precious? 1043 01:04:30,178 --> 01:04:32,190 Bella Hammond. 1044 01:04:32,198 --> 01:04:37,194 You have been shagging Bella Hammond for the last 25 years. 1045 01:04:37,198 --> 01:04:39,142 Dad! 1046 01:04:39,146 --> 01:04:41,102 No, I haven't. 1047 01:04:41,106 --> 01:04:44,154 Chanel number-bleedin'-five. 1048 01:04:44,162 --> 01:04:47,106 And she knows what you yell when you get your rocks off. 1049 01:04:47,110 --> 01:04:49,114 "Go, Dave, go!" 1050 01:04:49,122 --> 01:04:51,158 Well, go-Dave-go, it's all in my name, 1051 01:04:51,162 --> 01:04:54,114 so right now it's, "Go, Judy, Go" 1052 01:04:54,122 --> 01:04:58,114 with every penny you've got and every inch of skin on your FAT arse. 1053 01:04:59,174 --> 01:05:02,122 See you in jail...loser. 1054 01:05:02,126 --> 01:05:04,130 Bella Hammond? 1055 01:05:04,138 --> 01:05:06,154 I was just getting some inside information. 1056 01:05:06,158 --> 01:05:09,110 You're so full of it. 1057 01:05:09,114 --> 01:05:10,170 My future mother-in-law. 1058 01:05:10,174 --> 01:05:12,170 Heh. Bit off, Dad. 1059 01:05:13,198 --> 01:05:17,130 It seems that lack of respect for the mayor 1060 01:05:17,134 --> 01:05:20,138 is endemic in our wayward community. 1061 01:05:20,142 --> 01:05:21,178 DOOR SLAMS 1062 01:05:24,178 --> 01:05:26,166 DOOR OPENS 1063 01:05:26,170 --> 01:05:28,162 TIMBER CREAKS 1064 01:05:34,918 --> 01:05:36,866 What are you doing? 1065 01:05:36,870 --> 01:05:38,854 Nothing. 1066 01:05:38,862 --> 01:05:41,870 Judy Hicks has been banging round the village 1067 01:05:41,878 --> 01:05:44,890 telling everyone that you and Dave have been having an affair for years. 1068 01:05:44,898 --> 01:05:47,906 She always was a noisy woman. So it's not true? 1069 01:05:47,910 --> 01:05:49,922 Well, of course not. 1070 01:05:50,826 --> 01:05:53,846 Thank God. 1071 01:05:53,854 --> 01:05:57,902 An affair would suggest some kind of passion, affection even. 1072 01:05:57,910 --> 01:06:01,918 All Dave and I ever had was pretty basic sex. 1073 01:06:01,922 --> 01:06:04,878 You are joking? 1074 01:06:04,886 --> 01:06:07,854 Well...it wasn't really up your alley, 1075 01:06:07,858 --> 01:06:08,902 was it, darling? 1076 01:06:08,906 --> 01:06:10,906 But a Hicks, for God's sake! 1077 01:06:10,914 --> 01:06:14,858 Yes, I know. That was the really good bit. 1078 01:06:16,854 --> 01:06:18,850 That is quite unforgivable. 1079 01:06:21,826 --> 01:06:24,850 I don't need forgiveness from this family. 1080 01:06:37,902 --> 01:06:41,826 That's all the men in the village tested. 1081 01:06:41,834 --> 01:06:44,882 The boys that run the cards - not a trace. 1082 01:06:44,886 --> 01:06:46,886 I'm very disappointed. 1083 01:06:46,890 --> 01:06:48,854 What about the women of the village? 1084 01:06:48,858 --> 01:06:50,894 Explosives? Not a woman thing. 1085 01:06:50,898 --> 01:06:53,854 That's very sexist, George. 1086 01:06:53,858 --> 01:06:54,922 You want me to test the women? 1087 01:06:55,826 --> 01:06:56,878 Yes, I do. 1088 01:06:56,886 --> 01:06:59,906 Dig out all the public records on both the families. 1089 01:06:59,914 --> 01:07:04,834 And you better ask those nice people at DNA if we can afford to test. 1090 01:07:07,902 --> 01:07:09,882 Is he on to something? 1091 01:07:09,886 --> 01:07:12,850 I'm never quite sure. 1092 01:07:13,858 --> 01:07:16,922 BIRDS TWITTER 1093 01:07:30,838 --> 01:07:34,866 Ah! Reverend, I'm looking for the grave of Thomas Hicks. 1094 01:07:34,870 --> 01:07:37,834 (Yes. It's down there on the left.) 1095 01:07:37,838 --> 01:07:38,874 Thank you. 1096 01:07:52,870 --> 01:07:55,858 All right. All right. I'll be there in 20 minutes. 1097 01:08:01,918 --> 01:08:05,874 Solicitor - he says he has something of interest regarding father's will. 1098 01:08:05,878 --> 01:08:07,838 Excuse me. 1099 01:08:34,878 --> 01:08:36,862 GARAGE RATTLES 1100 01:08:36,866 --> 01:08:37,902 RAPID GUNFIRE 1101 01:08:50,826 --> 01:08:52,834 (CHOKES) 1102 01:08:53,842 --> 01:08:54,882 GRAVEL CRUNCHES 1103 01:09:01,882 --> 01:09:04,906 (CHOKES) 1104 01:09:04,910 --> 01:09:07,910 SAD TRUMPET PLAYS 1105 01:09:49,882 --> 01:09:53,842 WALKIE-TALKIE CHATTER 1106 01:10:09,724 --> 01:10:11,688 What's happening? 1107 01:10:12,720 --> 01:10:14,704 There's a misfed round in the breech. 1108 01:10:16,656 --> 01:10:18,680 I wonder if the shooter was injured? 1109 01:10:18,688 --> 01:10:21,716 Well, there's no sign of blood or anything. 1110 01:10:25,732 --> 01:10:31,652 Your solicitor, Martin Chadwick, denies phoning Johnny. 1111 01:10:31,656 --> 01:10:33,680 But Johnny said it was him. 1112 01:10:33,688 --> 01:10:37,692 Yeah, well, the call actually came from an unidentified mobile phone. 1113 01:10:37,696 --> 01:10:40,728 Have you got any...any thoughts? 1114 01:10:40,732 --> 01:10:42,676 Hicks. 1115 01:10:42,680 --> 01:10:46,656 Yes. But other possibilities. 1116 01:10:46,660 --> 01:10:50,652 One of his soldier boys. 1117 01:10:50,660 --> 01:10:53,712 You know, Johnny was a little.. left of centre, 1118 01:10:53,716 --> 01:10:55,704 sexually not politically. 1119 01:10:57,668 --> 01:11:00,708 Did he know about your relationship with Dave Hicks? 1120 01:11:00,712 --> 01:11:03,724 It wasn't a relationship. 1121 01:11:03,728 --> 01:11:05,728 We just had sex occasionally. 1122 01:11:05,736 --> 01:11:09,692 Which went on for a period of many years, by all accounts. 1123 01:11:10,724 --> 01:11:12,676 Where are you going with this? 1124 01:11:12,680 --> 01:11:15,708 Well, it must throw a somewhat... 1125 01:11:15,716 --> 01:11:18,700 speculative light over the parentage of your two daughters. 1126 01:11:18,704 --> 01:11:21,668 Oh, for God's sake. Don't you start! 1127 01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:24,720 They are Hammonds, through and through. 1128 01:11:24,728 --> 01:11:27,660 Just look at them, their noses, eyes. 1129 01:11:27,668 --> 01:11:30,656 There is no way they are anything to do with Dave Hicks. 1130 01:11:30,660 --> 01:11:31,712 Yes. I'm-I'm agreeing with you. 1131 01:11:31,720 --> 01:11:34,688 They're nothing at all to do with Mayor Hicks. 1132 01:11:34,692 --> 01:11:35,728 Right. 1133 01:11:42,680 --> 01:11:44,736 Your daughter Sophie... 1134 01:11:47,660 --> 01:11:51,704 ..was born four months after you married Johnny. 1135 01:11:51,712 --> 01:11:53,688 So I was pregnant when I got married? 1136 01:11:53,692 --> 01:11:55,712 Hardly groundbreaking territory. 1137 01:11:55,720 --> 01:12:00,656 Yes. But until two months before you married Johnny, 1138 01:12:00,660 --> 01:12:03,656 he was away in Australia for a year. 1139 01:12:03,664 --> 01:12:06,724 Do you see? The-the-the maths is confusing. 1140 01:12:06,728 --> 01:12:09,728 He flew back for a break. 1141 01:12:09,732 --> 01:12:11,684 Well, he may well have done. 1142 01:12:11,692 --> 01:12:14,640 But...you wouldn't have been here, would you? 1143 01:12:14,648 --> 01:12:15,700 Yes, I was. No, you weren't. 1144 01:12:15,708 --> 01:12:19,664 Cos you...were in Northern Ireland working for the MOD, 1145 01:12:19,668 --> 01:12:20,724 as indeed was Henry Hammond. 1146 01:12:20,732 --> 01:12:24,640 In fact you were his assistant, his PA. 1147 01:12:25,652 --> 01:12:30,692 As you say, "Hammond through and through". 1148 01:12:30,696 --> 01:12:33,684 'I thought that...ah... 1149 01:12:33,692 --> 01:12:37,672 Henry was a little over-familiar for a father-in-law. 1150 01:12:37,680 --> 01:12:39,684 But you didn't seem to notice, did you? 1151 01:12:39,692 --> 01:12:43,736 It was as if those gestures were not uncommon.' 1152 01:12:45,732 --> 01:12:50,688 So, you had Sophie by Henry. 1153 01:12:50,692 --> 01:12:52,644 Yes. 1154 01:12:52,648 --> 01:12:53,720 And Kate? 1155 01:12:53,728 --> 01:12:58,648 May as well be hung for two lambs as a sheep. 1156 01:12:58,652 --> 01:12:59,700 Hm! 1157 01:13:00,736 --> 01:13:03,716 And what did your husband think of this arrangement? 1158 01:13:03,724 --> 01:13:09,668 Henry gave Johnny a family and a place in local society. 1159 01:13:10,732 --> 01:13:13,664 But at considerable cost to his self-esteem. 1160 01:13:16,712 --> 01:13:19,712 I would be grateful if you would keep your very... 1161 01:13:19,716 --> 01:13:22,696 perceptive insights to yourself. 1162 01:13:22,700 --> 01:13:24,696 I'll do my very best. 1163 01:13:26,668 --> 01:13:27,720 You are an officer and a gentleman. 1164 01:13:33,668 --> 01:13:36,672 So, how come you two are always around when things go wrong? 1165 01:13:36,680 --> 01:13:39,736 We were fixing a water pump at the Reynolds' place, just up the road. 1166 01:13:40,640 --> 01:13:42,664 And what does Lionel do? 1167 01:13:42,668 --> 01:13:44,736 He guards my lunch, OK? 1168 01:13:45,644 --> 01:13:47,728 Well, he just comes for the ride. He's my mate. 1169 01:13:47,736 --> 01:13:50,724 Look at this - found near the machine-gun. 1170 01:13:50,732 --> 01:13:54,652 Hm. How many bits of a machine-gun are made of plastic? 1171 01:13:54,660 --> 01:13:55,684 None. None. 1172 01:13:56,692 --> 01:13:59,700 But toy cars can be made of plastic. 1173 01:14:00,716 --> 01:14:02,684 Mickey Ryan's military record? 1174 01:14:02,692 --> 01:14:04,720 In Northern Ireland same time as Henry Hammond. 1175 01:14:04,728 --> 01:14:07,708 Dishonourable discharge from Royal Midsome Yeomanry 1176 01:14:07,716 --> 01:14:10,700 for stealing ordinance - unspecified. 1177 01:14:10,708 --> 01:14:13,688 That is a word we do not use around here, Ms Stephens. 1178 01:14:13,696 --> 01:14:15,696 Get it specified. Yes, sir. 1179 01:14:18,700 --> 01:14:20,736 Just had a hopping-mad Judy Hicks come in. 1180 01:14:21,644 --> 01:14:25,708 Gave me this - conversation between her husband and son Danny 1181 01:14:25,716 --> 01:14:27,712 discussing how they might develop North Meadow, 1182 01:14:27,716 --> 01:14:30,704 Hammond land. 1183 01:14:30,708 --> 01:14:33,736 Dougie Hammond wanted to make amends. 1184 01:14:37,728 --> 01:14:39,668 Well, come on. 1185 01:14:51,644 --> 01:14:52,692 Here you are, George. 1186 01:14:52,696 --> 01:14:54,680 Your start off of ten. 1187 01:14:56,724 --> 01:14:59,696 Small transmitter box. Yeah. 1188 01:14:59,704 --> 01:15:02,728 Which, presumably, transmitted to a receiver on the machine-gun 1189 01:15:02,732 --> 01:15:04,704 where I found the other aerial. 1190 01:15:05,736 --> 01:15:08,712 Johnny presses the remote for his garage door 1191 01:15:08,720 --> 01:15:11,668 using his normal infrared transmitter 1192 01:15:11,672 --> 01:15:13,676 which triggered the garage motor, 1193 01:15:13,684 --> 01:15:15,736 which, in turn, triggered this transmitter 1194 01:15:16,644 --> 01:15:18,676 that sent a signal to the machine-gun. 1195 01:15:21,660 --> 01:15:22,720 (CHOKES) 1196 01:15:25,684 --> 01:15:27,672 And the wheelchair? Same MO. 1197 01:15:27,676 --> 01:15:30,676 Old Henry is executed. 1198 01:15:33,652 --> 01:15:35,696 Radio receiver's wired up to his wheelchair controls 1199 01:15:35,700 --> 01:15:37,696 and off he goes. 1200 01:15:37,700 --> 01:15:40,712 And trying to destroy the evidence, 1201 01:15:40,716 --> 01:15:42,668 the controller guides Henry 1202 01:15:42,676 --> 01:15:45,640 into the path of the oncoming milk truck, 1203 01:15:45,648 --> 01:15:47,660 which they knew always passed that way at that time. 1204 01:15:47,664 --> 01:15:49,712 Same with the radio-controlled car. 1205 01:15:49,720 --> 01:15:52,676 So, who's the electronics expert around here? 1206 01:15:52,684 --> 01:15:54,724 Mickey Ryan. Yeah, but he's alibied, isn't he, 1207 01:15:54,728 --> 01:15:56,696 by all his re-enactor mates? 1208 01:15:58,664 --> 01:16:00,640 So, what do we do now? 1209 01:16:00,648 --> 01:16:02,704 What we do now, Jones, is think laterally - 1210 01:16:02,708 --> 01:16:04,712 go at it from the other flank. 1211 01:16:17,640 --> 01:16:21,684 This is the local and... very bent solicitor. 1212 01:16:21,692 --> 01:16:25,644 And we'll deal with him in a way he understands. 1213 01:16:28,672 --> 01:16:30,656 Now, Mr Chadwick, you... 1214 01:16:30,664 --> 01:16:34,704 deal with all of David Hicks' legal work, do you? Yes. 1215 01:16:34,712 --> 01:16:36,684 Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, 1216 01:16:36,692 --> 01:16:40,728 but his little empire and all his associated chicanery 1217 01:16:40,732 --> 01:16:43,656 is about to implode, 1218 01:16:43,660 --> 01:16:45,728 owing to his wife feeding us details 1219 01:16:45,736 --> 01:16:49,668 of his somewhat illegal business arrangements. 1220 01:16:49,672 --> 01:16:51,660 You... 1221 01:16:51,664 --> 01:16:53,688 You get several mentions. 1222 01:16:56,708 --> 01:16:59,652 H-how can I help you, Chief Inspector? 1223 01:16:59,656 --> 01:17:00,704 Oh, Martin, thank you. 1224 01:17:02,688 --> 01:17:07,664 Does David Hicks have any entitlement to Hammond land? 1225 01:17:20,720 --> 01:17:23,672 When the trust is wound up the Hicks get North Meadow. 1226 01:17:24,724 --> 01:17:27,644 This was a secret codicil to Douglas Hammond's will. 1227 01:17:28,656 --> 01:17:30,652 How did David Hicks find out about that? 1228 01:17:31,708 --> 01:17:33,708 I can't think. 1229 01:17:35,648 --> 01:17:38,644 When does the trust expire? 1230 01:17:38,652 --> 01:17:42,644 (CLEARS THROAT) By law, all trusts expire after three generations. 1231 01:17:42,652 --> 01:17:46,660 So, that will be now, after the death of Johnny Hammond? 1232 01:17:46,668 --> 01:17:48,712 Not quite. The Trust remains in place 1233 01:17:48,720 --> 01:17:50,688 while the spouse of the deceased is still living. 1234 01:17:50,692 --> 01:17:52,656 Spouse. 1235 01:17:55,692 --> 01:17:58,708 Martin, thank you very much. 1236 01:18:06,640 --> 01:18:07,736 DOOR CLOSES Mr Mayor. 1237 01:18:28,704 --> 01:18:30,704 Father. 1238 01:18:30,708 --> 01:18:32,720 Grandfather. 1239 01:18:32,724 --> 01:18:35,648 One and the same. 1240 01:18:39,728 --> 01:18:42,648 You disgust me. 1241 01:18:45,692 --> 01:18:47,704 I wanted you both so much. 1242 01:18:48,732 --> 01:18:50,708 My children. 1243 01:18:52,644 --> 01:18:53,732 My daughters. 1244 01:18:55,644 --> 01:18:58,668 If I hadn't behaved as I did, neither of you would be here. 1245 01:18:58,672 --> 01:19:00,660 I wish I wasn't. 1246 01:19:05,712 --> 01:19:07,716 A surveyor called. 1247 01:19:07,724 --> 01:19:12,668 He wants you to go up to North Meadow to discuss...boundaries or something. 1248 01:19:56,732 --> 01:20:00,700 PIANO PLAYS MENACINGLY 1249 01:20:12,696 --> 01:20:14,696 (GASPS) 1250 01:20:23,732 --> 01:20:25,728 No. Uh. 1251 01:20:25,732 --> 01:20:28,676 (DISTRESSED) 1252 01:20:53,736 --> 01:20:56,704 Bella, you all right? 1253 01:21:04,648 --> 01:21:07,648 ENGINE IDLES 1254 01:21:11,668 --> 01:21:14,648 TWO-WAY RADIO WARBLES 1255 01:21:17,788 --> 01:21:20,768 Thank you, Mr Barnaby. You saved my life. 1256 01:21:20,772 --> 01:21:22,728 Actually, it was Jones who did... 1257 01:21:22,732 --> 01:21:24,732 Well, but it... No, it was nothing. 1258 01:21:24,740 --> 01:21:25,772 Sir! Yay. 1259 01:21:25,776 --> 01:21:26,812 THUMPS HORSE FLOAT 1260 01:21:29,752 --> 01:21:30,804 We found the transmitter. 1261 01:21:34,800 --> 01:21:38,780 It was tuned to the 2.8HG public band. 1262 01:21:40,732 --> 01:21:42,796 So all that was needed was for this simple transmitter 1263 01:21:42,804 --> 01:21:46,724 to convert the electronic pulses to mechanical movement. 1264 01:21:46,732 --> 01:21:48,720 Really? And it's Kate's horse box, 1265 01:21:48,728 --> 01:21:50,804 and she was the one who sent Mrs Hammond to North Meadow. 1266 01:21:50,808 --> 01:21:52,788 Can I run with this, sir? 1267 01:21:54,788 --> 01:21:56,804 So, how do you explain these facts, Ms Hammond? 1268 01:21:56,808 --> 01:21:58,812 I don't explain anything. 1269 01:21:59,720 --> 01:22:00,792 I'm just telling you I got a phone call. 1270 01:22:00,800 --> 01:22:04,748 But the horse box is your vehicle. So bloody what?! 1271 01:22:04,752 --> 01:22:06,716 I can barely operate a light switch. 1272 01:22:06,724 --> 01:22:08,800 Do you really think I know diddly-twat about electronic gizmos? 1273 01:22:08,804 --> 01:22:10,756 She's the one who did engineering. 1274 01:22:10,764 --> 01:22:13,800 Oh, please? I switched to sociology after one term. 1275 01:22:13,808 --> 01:22:15,808 Well, you're the one always talking about CAD. 1276 01:22:16,716 --> 01:22:17,776 Oh, thank you, sister dearest. Just shut up. 1277 01:22:17,780 --> 01:22:19,732 Up yours! 1278 01:22:19,740 --> 01:22:20,772 So SICK of you! Hey. 1279 01:22:20,776 --> 01:22:22,720 Hey. Ah! Ah! 1280 01:22:22,724 --> 01:22:23,792 Hey! Ah! Ah! 1281 01:22:23,796 --> 01:22:26,724 Ah. Ah! Ladies! 1282 01:22:26,732 --> 01:22:27,812 Ladies, please? Hate you. 1283 01:22:28,720 --> 01:22:29,804 Plea... Argh! (GRUNTS) 1284 01:22:29,812 --> 01:22:32,784 Uh! You're such a... (GRUNTS) Please?! 1285 01:22:32,792 --> 01:22:35,744 Kate, you... Sir! 1286 01:22:35,752 --> 01:22:39,768 Yes, Jones? (BOTH WOMEN GRUNT WITH EXERTION) 1287 01:22:39,776 --> 01:22:42,800 There's a situation... That's enough! 1288 01:22:47,788 --> 01:22:49,792 You don't have to look quite so smug, sir. 1289 01:22:49,796 --> 01:22:51,744 Of course, I do. 1290 01:22:51,748 --> 01:22:53,800 It's one of the perks of experience. 1291 01:22:59,748 --> 01:23:02,804 'Now, what do you want, Mr Busy-body?' 1292 01:23:02,812 --> 01:23:04,752 Biddy, what do you know about Lazarus? 1293 01:23:04,760 --> 01:23:07,720 He came back from the dead. He certainly did. 1294 01:23:07,724 --> 01:23:08,800 And what did he do then? 1295 01:23:08,808 --> 01:23:11,800 Picked up his bed and walked. Yes, it was a miracle. 1296 01:23:11,808 --> 01:23:13,760 And I think you've performed a miracle 1297 01:23:13,768 --> 01:23:15,784 with the local social services, haven't you? 1298 01:23:17,756 --> 01:23:18,796 CAR DOOR CLOSES 1299 01:23:20,760 --> 01:23:22,796 So, what's in there? Eh-eh-eh. 1300 01:23:24,724 --> 01:23:26,756 Do you know what a McGuffin is? No. 1301 01:23:26,764 --> 01:23:29,720 Well, it's one of them. ENGINE STARTS 1302 01:23:49,732 --> 01:23:50,792 So it's a Hicks then? 1303 01:23:55,780 --> 01:23:57,748 This is personal, isn't it? 1304 01:23:57,756 --> 01:23:58,800 This is all about your bleedin' roof. 1305 01:23:58,808 --> 01:24:01,768 No, it's not about my roof, it's about motive. 1306 01:24:01,772 --> 01:24:03,788 So, what is my motive? 1307 01:24:03,796 --> 01:24:06,744 You're an evil little crook. Not now, Jude. 1308 01:24:06,752 --> 01:24:10,780 Oh, thank you very much for your interesting tape, Mrs Hicks. 1309 01:24:10,784 --> 01:24:12,784 What tape? 1310 01:24:12,788 --> 01:24:14,756 The one that will hang you. 1311 01:24:14,764 --> 01:24:16,796 The tape that contains, amongst other gems, 1312 01:24:16,804 --> 01:24:20,768 your plans to exploit and corrupt the local planning laws 1313 01:24:20,776 --> 01:24:22,720 once you got your hands on North Meadow. 1314 01:24:27,792 --> 01:24:29,740 No. 1315 01:24:29,744 --> 01:24:30,796 I warned you. 1316 01:24:30,804 --> 01:24:33,728 'Course, you can only inherit that land 1317 01:24:33,736 --> 01:24:37,716 after the deaths of both Johnny and Bella Hammond. 1318 01:24:37,724 --> 01:24:39,812 Now, David, that looks like a pretty good motive to me. 1319 01:24:40,716 --> 01:24:42,732 Right. Take him down. 1320 01:24:42,736 --> 01:24:44,724 But... 1321 01:24:44,732 --> 01:24:46,740 Why would you want to kill Henry Hammond? 1322 01:24:46,744 --> 01:24:47,804 Yeah. Yeah, right. 1323 01:24:47,808 --> 01:24:50,768 Well, I'm not sure, Dave. 1324 01:24:50,776 --> 01:24:53,784 Why would anyone want to kill Henry Hammond? 1325 01:24:53,792 --> 01:24:56,764 Danny, have you got an opinion on this? Eh? 1326 01:24:56,772 --> 01:25:00,744 Oh, come on, Danny. We all know that you stole the murder weapon. 1327 01:25:00,752 --> 01:25:04,732 OK. I nicked the gun, but... You know, it disappeared. 1328 01:25:05,768 --> 01:25:08,720 Really. It was in my room and then it wasn't. 1329 01:25:08,728 --> 01:25:10,744 The room you once shared with your brother? 1330 01:25:11,760 --> 01:25:12,808 Will? 1331 01:25:12,812 --> 01:25:14,756 Did you take the gun? 1332 01:25:14,760 --> 01:25:16,716 Why would I? 1333 01:25:16,720 --> 01:25:21,732 Henry, Johnny, Bella. 1334 01:25:21,740 --> 01:25:24,812 Who inherits the estate once they've all gone? 1335 01:25:26,744 --> 01:25:29,796 Well, I'll tell you. Kate and her sister Sophie. 1336 01:25:29,804 --> 01:25:33,768 Your fiance shall become very well-off, won't she? 1337 01:25:34,800 --> 01:25:37,776 But we don't consider that very likely, do we? 1338 01:25:37,784 --> 01:25:41,764 We haven't found an ounce of madness in Will's history. 1339 01:25:41,772 --> 01:25:43,752 He's a nice man. He's a very nice man. 1340 01:25:43,760 --> 01:25:47,784 Where does the malice really come from in this family, hey? 1341 01:25:50,780 --> 01:25:53,716 Do you bloody mind?! 1342 01:25:53,720 --> 01:25:54,784 What are you getting at, Barnaby? 1343 01:25:54,788 --> 01:25:56,788 You hate the Hammonds, don't you? 1344 01:25:56,792 --> 01:25:58,756 I mean, you REALLY hate the Hammonds. 1345 01:25:58,764 --> 01:26:00,780 Especially after you found out about... 1346 01:26:01,812 --> 01:26:03,808 ..about the interesting connection 1347 01:26:03,812 --> 01:26:07,796 between Bella Hammond and David here. 1348 01:26:07,800 --> 01:26:09,784 I'm not a murderer. 1349 01:26:09,788 --> 01:26:12,728 I'm not a bleedin' psycho either. 1350 01:26:12,736 --> 01:26:14,720 And I have alibis for all the times, don't I? 1351 01:26:14,724 --> 01:26:16,728 Yes, you have, indeed. 1352 01:26:17,808 --> 01:26:20,740 So...ah? You've done us all and no result. 1353 01:26:21,764 --> 01:26:22,804 Right. 1354 01:26:27,772 --> 01:26:28,812 Hello, Lionel. 1355 01:26:30,788 --> 01:26:32,728 BOX CONTENTS RATTLE 1356 01:26:40,804 --> 01:26:42,760 You took your time. 1357 01:26:42,764 --> 01:26:44,756 Dad! Sit down, you're disabled. 1358 01:26:44,764 --> 01:26:46,776 It's all right. I'm not concerned with benefit fraud. 1359 01:26:46,784 --> 01:26:50,720 Biddy Dixon's always teaching people how to fiddle the system. 1360 01:26:54,768 --> 01:26:56,812 So, what's your beef, then? 1361 01:26:59,776 --> 01:27:02,736 You were in the Engineers during the last war, weren't you? 1362 01:27:02,740 --> 01:27:04,752 Dropped into France before D-day 1363 01:27:04,760 --> 01:27:07,804 to blow up railway lines, bridges, supply depots and stuff. 1364 01:27:07,812 --> 01:27:10,784 You really know your explosives, don't you? 1365 01:27:10,788 --> 01:27:12,788 Expert. 1366 01:27:12,796 --> 01:27:16,772 And then you became one of the first people to repair televisions. 1367 01:27:16,780 --> 01:27:18,796 I looked after Mr Churchill's television. 1368 01:27:18,800 --> 01:27:20,772 So, remote controls? 1369 01:27:20,776 --> 01:27:22,736 Doodle. 1370 01:27:22,744 --> 01:27:24,776 And then you were made an honorary member 1371 01:27:24,784 --> 01:27:27,804 of the Royal Midsomer Yeomanry Re-enactors, 1372 01:27:27,812 --> 01:27:30,752 and getting your hands on their armaments. 1373 01:27:30,756 --> 01:27:32,732 That was a doddle too, wasn't it, 1374 01:27:32,740 --> 01:27:34,812 for a cunning old man that looked like he wouldn't harm a fly? 1375 01:27:35,716 --> 01:27:38,720 Mugs, the lot of them. 1376 01:27:38,728 --> 01:27:40,808 So all you had to do was to wait for the opportunity 1377 01:27:40,812 --> 01:27:43,788 to use your accumulated skills. 1378 01:27:43,796 --> 01:27:48,740 I suspect, Lionel, I suspect that that opportunity came down the pub 1379 01:27:48,748 --> 01:27:51,768 when you overheard Mickey Ryan and his idiot pals 1380 01:27:51,776 --> 01:27:54,760 concocting their plan to humiliate Henry Hammond. 1381 01:27:54,768 --> 01:27:57,764 Then we recreate the whole execution scenario. 1382 01:27:57,768 --> 01:27:59,788 See how he likes it. 1383 01:28:03,776 --> 01:28:05,756 Then he went to Danny's room. 1384 01:28:08,728 --> 01:28:10,724 I bet that particular weapon 1385 01:28:10,732 --> 01:28:12,736 pleased your sense of justice, eh, Lionel? 1386 01:28:12,740 --> 01:28:14,792 It killed my dad. 1387 01:28:14,796 --> 01:28:16,772 Then up on Hammond Hill 1388 01:28:16,780 --> 01:28:21,760 you watched as Mickey Ryan conducted his little farce. 1389 01:28:21,768 --> 01:28:23,812 Fire! GUNSHOTS ECHO 1390 01:28:24,720 --> 01:28:25,800 Then... PISTOL COCKS 1391 01:28:27,780 --> 01:28:31,768 ..you attached a remotely activated device 1392 01:28:31,776 --> 01:28:34,784 to Henry's electrically operated chair. 1393 01:28:39,736 --> 01:28:41,808 And good night, Mr Hammond. 1394 01:28:41,812 --> 01:28:43,748 METAL CLANGS 1395 01:28:47,784 --> 01:28:49,796 One strange detail. 1396 01:28:49,804 --> 01:28:52,804 Why was the gun dumped in shallow water? 1397 01:28:55,812 --> 01:29:00,764 Answer - because the thrower was a very old man 1398 01:29:00,772 --> 01:29:02,768 who didn't have a great deal of strength. 1399 01:29:02,772 --> 01:29:05,732 Simple explanation, 1400 01:29:05,740 --> 01:29:07,768 but one that didn't occur to me for some little time. 1401 01:29:07,776 --> 01:29:11,752 Similarly, with the fun and games down at the war memorial. 1402 01:29:22,796 --> 01:29:26,716 That was a very clever attempt by Lionel 1403 01:29:26,724 --> 01:29:29,720 to deflect suspicion away from yourself. 1404 01:29:29,724 --> 01:29:31,780 My bloody car! 1405 01:29:31,784 --> 01:29:33,772 Teach you lot to let me ride in it. 1406 01:29:33,780 --> 01:29:36,808 Then there was the death of Johnny Hammond. 1407 01:29:37,716 --> 01:29:39,740 That must have been quite a challenge for you, Lionel, eh? 1408 01:29:39,744 --> 01:29:41,740 Yeah. I needed all my smarts there. 1409 01:29:41,748 --> 01:29:43,788 Course you couldn't operate a machine gun by yourself, could you? 1410 01:29:43,796 --> 01:29:46,724 But you could rig one very effectively. 1411 01:29:48,772 --> 01:29:51,732 So you attached all the necessary gizmos 1412 01:29:51,740 --> 01:29:54,800 and linked them through to the garage door mechanism. 1413 01:29:54,808 --> 01:29:58,784 Thus Johnny Hammond triggered his own death 1414 01:29:58,792 --> 01:30:00,804 within minutes of you telephoning to tell him 1415 01:30:00,808 --> 01:30:03,752 his solicitor wanted to see him. 1416 01:30:07,812 --> 01:30:10,792 Same with the bailer, I guess. 1417 01:30:10,800 --> 01:30:13,768 Rigging it up was a stroke of genius. 1418 01:30:13,772 --> 01:30:16,800 Dad...why? 1419 01:30:16,804 --> 01:30:19,768 Why'd you do all this? 1420 01:30:19,772 --> 01:30:21,720 The Hammonds killed my dad! 1421 01:30:22,756 --> 01:30:24,760 But you've been living with that for 80 years. 1422 01:30:24,768 --> 01:30:26,736 It wasn't just that. No. 1423 01:30:27,764 --> 01:30:30,812 Months ago Biddy, told you the whole story, didn't she? 1424 01:30:32,760 --> 01:30:34,776 It was even worse. 1425 01:30:34,784 --> 01:30:39,740 Tommy Hicks was executed by his own half-brother. 1426 01:30:41,752 --> 01:30:43,784 Alleged half-brother. 1427 01:30:43,788 --> 01:30:46,748 That is still not proven. 1428 01:30:46,752 --> 01:30:47,804 Well, it's true. 1429 01:30:47,812 --> 01:30:49,800 Tommy and Dougie Hammond was brothers. 1430 01:30:49,808 --> 01:30:53,792 But Dougie didn't want a Hicks muscling in on their family. 1431 01:30:53,796 --> 01:30:58,732 "No scum in the toffs' trough." 1432 01:30:59,776 --> 01:31:02,772 You heard Dave and Danny talk about the day 1433 01:31:02,780 --> 01:31:05,752 that the North Meadow would go to the Hicks. 1434 01:31:05,760 --> 01:31:07,764 Yeah, and I thought, "Why should we wait?" 1435 01:31:07,772 --> 01:31:09,768 We'd waited long enough for what's ours, 1436 01:31:09,772 --> 01:31:11,768 what those bastards owed us. 1437 01:31:11,776 --> 01:31:14,772 So I got them, didn't I? I did, I got them. 1438 01:31:14,780 --> 01:31:19,800 Dad, you are going to spend the rest of your life in jail. 1439 01:31:19,804 --> 01:31:22,780 How long is that? 10 minutes? 1440 01:31:23,796 --> 01:31:25,768 Year? 1441 01:31:25,772 --> 01:31:28,740 Life - who cares? I won. 1442 01:31:29,780 --> 01:31:31,744 I won the war! 1443 01:31:33,724 --> 01:31:37,744 ♪ It's the soldiers of the Queen, my lad 1444 01:31:37,748 --> 01:31:39,740 ♪ Who've been, my lads 1445 01:31:39,744 --> 01:31:41,740 ♪ Who've seen, my lads 1446 01:31:41,748 --> 01:31:44,812 ♪ In the fight for England's glory lad 1447 01:31:45,716 --> 01:31:48,732 ♪ The soldiers of the Queen. ♪ 1448 01:31:50,732 --> 01:31:52,744 I did it for you, Dad. 1449 01:32:03,812 --> 01:32:06,716 (MAN GIVES INSTRUCTIONS) 1450 01:32:11,780 --> 01:32:14,740 How did it go? As expected. 1451 01:32:14,748 --> 01:32:17,760 Unfit to plead, detained at her Majesty's pleasure. 1452 01:32:17,768 --> 01:32:20,744 How did you get His Honour to do this for free? 1453 01:32:20,752 --> 01:32:24,756 His Honour is doing this out of the kindness of his heart. 1454 01:32:25,768 --> 01:32:27,780 That is nice. Well, I thought so. 1455 01:32:32,772 --> 01:32:35,772 Closed Captions by CSI 103828