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1
00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:03,402
Just here is good, Murray.
- Yeah, just here.
2
00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:06,005
We're a block away. I'll take you
right to the door. Don't be silly.
3
00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:08,107
- Just here!
- I don't even want to go nightclubbing.
4
00:00:08,141 --> 00:00:09,375
You've got to go
nightclubbing, Bret.
5
00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:11,210
Look at Jemaine.
He wants to nightclub.
6
00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:12,612
Can we watch
a video instead?
7
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:14,146
Yeah, I want to go home
and have a sleep.
8
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,249
- Just here is good.
- You're not getting out of it again.
9
00:00:16,283 --> 00:00:19,051
- Keep going.
- Here we go. I just want you to go inside.
10
00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:22,021
Listen to the music they play.
It's called dancing music.
11
00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:24,023
- Keep going. Just keep going, Murray.
- Keep going.
12
00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:26,459
- Keep driving.
- Look, there's David.
13
00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:28,394
- Dave!
- What?
14
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:31,430
- Hold on, I'm coming back. What's up?
- Hey, man.
15
00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:33,599
Hi, David. Can you look
after these two, please?
16
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:36,302
- Sure thing, Murray.
- Make sure they have a cocktail each, okay?
17
00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:38,871
Here's $20.
I don't trust it with them.
18
00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:41,207
Last time I gave them $20
they went away and spent it.
19
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:43,142
Bought a magazine
and a giant beach ball.
20
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:46,245
- You can count on me, Murray.
- Make sure they don't run away, okay?
21
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,182
- Right. Out you get, guys.
- We might not get in, Murray.
22
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:51,584
- Not cool enough.
- You two?
23
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:54,687
- Yes, we're not that cool.
- Yeah, everyone looks pretty cool.
24
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,255
- Hang on.
- They're cooler than us.
25
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:58,191
Excuse me, sir.
Hi.
26
00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:01,194
I've got a couple of very cool
looking guys in the back of my car.
27
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:04,130
I don't know whether you're
keen to have them in your club.
28
00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:06,632
He's not coming in.
29
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:10,002
Right, good.
Off you go.
30
00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:13,072
I'll wait in the car here till
you're finished nightclubbing, okay?
31
00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:15,708
Good luck, guys.
32
00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:52,345
Hey, guys,
too many dicks.
33
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:53,746
What?
34
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,915
- Too many dicks.
- What's that, man?
35
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,350
- How many?
- Too many.
36
00:01:57,417 --> 00:02:00,186
You guys are dorking up
my vibe with all the dicks.
37
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:02,922
We need to spread the
dicks out a little bit,
38
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,591
create some lady space.
Come on, move apart, guys.
39
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:06,959
Spread 'em out.
40
00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:09,262
This isn't
the riverdance anymore.
41
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:10,596
Over there now.
42
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:13,099
There's too many dicks
on the dance floor.
43
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,135
♪ too many dicks
on the dance floor ♪
44
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:20,206
- ♪ too many dicks on the dance floor ♪
- ♪ too many dicks ♪
45
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,543
- ♪ too many dicks on the dance floor ♪
- ♪ too many dicks ♪
46
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:27,313
- ♪ too many dicks on the dance floor ♪
- ♪ too many dicks ♪
47
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:30,116
♪ going to the party,
sipping on bacardi ♪
48
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,653
♪ want to meet a hottie, but
there's Adam, Steve and Marty ♪
49
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:37,256
♪ there's Billy, todd and Tommy,
they're on leave from the army ♪
50
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:40,626
♪ the only boobs I see tonight
51
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,528
♪ tell the fellas,
make it understood ♪
52
00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:44,197
♪ it ain't no good
if there's too much wood ♪
53
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:47,166
♪ make sure you know before
54
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:50,670
♪ five to one is a brodeo, tell
Steve and Mark it's time to go ♪
55
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:54,140
♪ wait outside all night to find
20 dudes in a conga line ♪
56
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,977
- ♪ too many dicks on the dance floor ♪
- ♪ easy to fix ♪
57
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:01,147
- ♪ too many dicks on the dance floor ♪
- ♪ spread out the dicks ♪
58
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,849
♪ too many dudes
with too many dicks ♪
59
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,383
♪ too close to my shit,
too hard to meet chicks ♪
60
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,419
♪ I need better odds,
more broads, less rods ♪
61
00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:08,421
♪ I came to do battle,
skedaddle with the cattle prods ♪
62
00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:11,023
♪ too many men, too many boys, too
many misters, noenough sisters ♪
63
00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:12,992
♪ too much time
on too many hands ♪
64
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,228
♪ not enough ladies,
too many men ♪
65
00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:27,206
♪ too many dicks,
too many dongs ♪
66
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,841
♪ too many schlongs
as I sing this song. ♪
67
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,016
hello.
Bret speaking.
68
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,518
Bret, it's Jemaine speaking.
69
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:47,887
Hey, man. Where are
you? Did you run away?
70
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:49,622
No, I went home
with a girl.
71
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:51,457
What?
72
00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:53,593
Bret, I think she might
be Australian.
73
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,361
Are you sure
she's Australian?
74
00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:58,331
Either she's Australian
or she really likes Australia.
75
00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:01,267
Oh, you've got to get out of
there. Just get out of there.
76
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,836
I'm... I'm... I'm locked in.
She's trapped me.
77
00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,438
I'm not surprised.
78
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:08,107
Okay, um, keep calm.
79
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,642
Jump out the window.
80
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:11,143
Good idea.
81
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,448
Oh, it's too high.
82
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:18,084
Okay, well, do one of those
dive rolls when you land.
83
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,785
Okay, I'll try.
84
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,021
G'day.
85
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:25,124
Oh, hey.
86
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,026
Jesus, got a tongue like
a badger's asshole.
87
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,594
What you doing there,
big j?
88
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:30,596
Um, just talking
to a friend of mine.
89
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,732
- Hey.
- Don't talk to her. She's definitely Australian.
90
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,467
I'm not sure
I got your name.
91
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:35,835
Keitha.
92
00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:39,705
- Pardon?
- Keitha.
93
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,407
Keitha?
94
00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:43,743
Yeah, it's like Keith
but with an "a" at the end.
95
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:45,478
I was named
after me dad.
96
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,146
She's got a man's name.
97
00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,414
Keitha,
that's a lovely name.
98
00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:49,916
So how about
we go back to bed?
99
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,985
- Um...
- definitely don't do that.
100
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,521
No, I can't.
101
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:58,658
- Oh.
- Would you be able to unlock the door?
102
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:03,129
Thanks for coming.
103
00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:05,565
- How do you feel?
- Fine.
104
00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:07,166
Just ashamed.
105
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,768
How could you not know
she was Australian?
106
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,037
I don't know. It was
loud in the nightclub.
107
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,739
- Does she look australiany?
- Not particularly, no.
108
00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:17,610
I mean the face, I suppose,
but not bodily, not at all.
109
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:19,712
Does she sound Australian?
Australian accent?
110
00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,614
Yes. Yes.
111
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:23,282
What did it sound like?
112
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:25,518
Kind of like an evil
version of our accent.
113
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,020
- Did she mock your accent?
- Not that I remember.
114
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,790
She may have subtly mocked your
accent and you didn't notice.
115
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:33,559
She may have subtly
been mocking me.
116
00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:36,863
Did you use protection?
117
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:41,467
Yes, but only
on my penis.
118
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:44,370
- What's that?
- What? What?
119
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,773
- What's that red Mark on your lip?
- What? Where?
120
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,575
That's all red.
121
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,177
- That's lipstick.
- It's crabs.
122
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:53,346
- It's not crabs.
- It's crabs.
123
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,448
It's lipstick.
Iook, that's not...
124
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:57,383
it's not crabs.
125
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,885
Got your wallet?
She didn't steal your wallet?
126
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,386
No, I've actually
got my wallet.
127
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,188
She probably tried
to steal your wallet.
128
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:04,790
Don't touch anything.
129
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,162
Well, good news.
Your biscuits arrived.
130
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:11,664
Eh?
131
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:14,133
They've been approved
from the wellington office.
132
00:07:14,168 --> 00:07:17,436
- From the government?
- Yup. There we go.
133
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:18,971
Oh, great.
134
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,641
- Ginger nuts.
- Oh, nice.
135
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,276
I got a rejected form.
136
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:25,611
Oh, Jemaine, rejected.
Let's have a look.
137
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,613
"Did not fill out
the form correctly.
138
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,248
Purpose for
the biscuits..."
139
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:31,350
you put "NA."
What is "NA"?
140
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,152
Not applicable.
141
00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:35,655
- There's no purpose for your biscuits?
- No, I just wanted them.
142
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:38,457
Well, they're hardly gonna send
you biscuits if there's no purpose.
143
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,526
Think about it.
Fill out your forms properly.
144
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,628
Well, I probably would have
eaten them, I suppose.
145
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,197
What did you
put on your form?
146
00:07:44,198 --> 00:07:45,865
I think I put
I was gonna eat them.
147
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:49,035
There you go.
Okay, simple as that.
148
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:50,870
Tell you what,
you could probably have...
149
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,639
Bret, could he have one of
yours until I get this sorted?
150
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:56,175
Would that be all right?
151
00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,813
That's the boy.
That's good. Nice.
152
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:02,582
Right, let's move on.
153
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:05,451
Next, nightclubbing
experiences.
154
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:07,787
Anything to report back?
155
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,789
- Nothing?
- Uh...
156
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,158
did you dance?
157
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:14,961
I didn't want to go
to the nightclub, Murray.
158
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:17,630
What's happened?
159
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,332
- Nothing.
- Bret?
160
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:21,033
Something happened
to Jemaine?
161
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,569
- Jemaine slept with an Australian.
- What?!
162
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:25,338
- Bret.
- Jemaine slept with an Australian.
163
00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:28,674
No, I heard you. I said
"what" as in I heard you
164
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,810
but I can't believe
what I'm hearing.
165
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,311
Is this true, Jemaine?
166
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:34,413
- Shh.
- I know, shh.
167
00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:37,183
- This is true.
- Yeah? Really?
168
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:39,318
I accidently slept
with an Australian.
169
00:08:39,353 --> 00:08:41,420
How do you accidently
sleep with one?
170
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,489
What, did she get you naked and
you tripped over and fell on her?
171
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,892
- Is that what happened?
- No, it wasn't exactly like that.
172
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:48,694
- Look, close the door, please, Bret.
- Close the door, Bret.
173
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:51,097
- I didn't... - I don't
want to hear it, okay?
174
00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:52,865
I'm talking to Bret now.
175
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:56,135
Jemaine, don't listen.
Turn away.
176
00:08:56,170 --> 00:08:59,205
Bret, come in a bit.
177
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:01,874
Do you think he's listening?
Let's test it.
178
00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:03,442
Jemaine's a good-looking
guy, isn't he?
179
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:06,879
- There he goes.
- Yeah, he's listening.
180
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:09,248
Right, now this is serious.
Maybe we should
181
00:09:09,283 --> 00:09:11,184
banish him, you know,
from the group.
182
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,452
Cast him off, you know?
183
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:16,455
Never speak of him again,
just for a couple of days.
184
00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:18,191
- That seems a bit full-on.
- Does it?
185
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,459
It does, doesn't it?
Lock him up.
186
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:23,296
Just lock him up.
Don't listen.
187
00:09:23,297 --> 00:09:25,731
- What did you hear?
- Nothing.
188
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:30,203
Okay, let's get back
into the group.
189
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:33,339
Okay, come back, Jemaine.
Thank you.
190
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:36,709
We can't come to a decision
as to what to do.
191
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,078
Um...
192
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:42,715
now this girl,
did she make fun of you?
193
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,318
We think she might have
slightly mocked his accent.
194
00:09:45,319 --> 00:09:47,720
She may have mocked
my accent subtly.
195
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,556
I bet she did.
They're tricky.
196
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:52,758
You know, guys,
in the old days
197
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:54,627
the sailors used
to fall for them.
198
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:56,495
Yeah, they hadn't seen
a woman for weeks
199
00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:59,832
and the australians would lure them to
the bottom of the sea and they'd drown.
200
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,968
- Oh, that's mermaids.
- That's mermaids you're thinking of.
201
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,269
- Is it?
- That's not australians.
202
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:06,005
Yeah, but the Australian
ones were the worst.
203
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,840
That's what
I'm trying to say.
204
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,342
If you're into those
sorts of things,
205
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:10,743
watch out for
the Australian ones.
206
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,212
She didn't seem
that bad, you know?
207
00:10:13,247 --> 00:10:15,281
- Eh?
- Jemaine.
208
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:18,351
- Do you have feelings for this girl?
- No.
209
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,453
Only negative ones.
210
00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:23,456
Good.
Have you got your wallet?
211
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:26,292
- Yes, I've got my wallet.
- Good.
212
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,931
- Oh, hi, big j.
- Hi, keitha. Do you have my wallet?
213
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,100
Yeah. Yeah, I've got it right here.
214
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:41,874
- Thank you.
- So you gonna come in for a cuppa or what?
215
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,776
Oh, come on, you big mung.
216
00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:01,394
Milk?
217
00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:03,162
Um, yes please.
218
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,365
- Say when.
- When.
219
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:12,438
Thank you.
220
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,275
Mmm, delicious tea.
221
00:11:16,310 --> 00:11:18,578
Thanks.
It's me mom's recipe.
222
00:11:18,579 --> 00:11:20,913
Oh, is your mom
Australian?
223
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:22,782
Yeah yeah,
she's a panel beater.
224
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:25,651
What about your dad? You
said he's an Australian still?
225
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:28,354
Yeah yeah, me dad's so
Australian he's in prison.
226
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:31,157
Mmm, what about his father?
Was he Australian?
227
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,625
- My grandpa?
- Yeah.
228
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,293
Yeah.
Yeah.
229
00:11:34,328 --> 00:11:36,629
What about your mom's mother?
Was she an immigrant?
230
00:11:36,663 --> 00:11:41,267
Listen, big j, you couldn't
get more Australian than me.
231
00:11:41,335 --> 00:11:43,603
My great-great-grandpa
was a renown rapist.
232
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:46,205
And they shipped him
out to Australia
233
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,242
and that's where he met
my great-great-grandma.
234
00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:52,345
She was a prostitute. I mean,
I said met, but he raped her.
235
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:55,615
Hmm. Do you think there's
any chance you were adopted?
236
00:11:55,649 --> 00:11:59,085
Look, big j.
You got two options.
237
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:01,754
Sit around here asking
me stupid questions,
238
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:04,757
get in that bedroom
and root me again.
239
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:07,560
They're both good options.
240
00:12:09,530 --> 00:12:14,367
♪ do australians
feel love? ♪
241
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,271
♪ are they capable
of love? ♪
242
00:12:18,272 --> 00:12:21,941
♪ do they even know
what we're speaking of? ♪
243
00:12:25,279 --> 00:12:28,147
Bret.
Bret.
244
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:31,083
Bret!
Bret.
245
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:33,252
What?
246
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,721
Can I ask you
a hypothetical question?
247
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,423
Can it wait
till the morning?
248
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,592
I suppose so.
249
00:12:43,564 --> 00:12:46,866
Bret.
Bret.
250
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,569
Bret. Bret.
251
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:52,605
- Bret.
- What's the question you want to ask me?
252
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:55,341
What would you think
if I did do out with that...
253
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:58,077
- Australian?
- Eh?
254
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:01,447
I'm just saying that if you were
to go out with an Australian...
255
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:03,850
well, I would never go out
with an Australian.
256
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:06,586
If you were to,
I would be fine with it.
257
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,588
I mean, when I first met you,
you tried to have me deported
258
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:10,356
from new zealand 'cause you
thought I was an Australian.
259
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,658
That was a misunderstanding.
You were wearing a vest top.
260
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:16,195
A my mom gave me that. She thought
it made me look like bruce willis.
261
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:18,531
Well, it didn't. It made
you look like an Australian.
262
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,867
You can't go out
with that girl.
263
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:24,504
Hey, she'd never
be my girlfriend.
264
00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:28,641
Murray, Bret,
265
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:31,477
this is my girlfriend
keitha.
266
00:13:31,512 --> 00:13:34,146
- What are you doing, Jemaine?
- What is that you're wearing?
267
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:35,748
- What are you wearing?
- Where'd you get that?
268
00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:38,885
Hi, guys. You can call
me Keith, by the way.
269
00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:40,820
- That's a man's name.
- It's a female name.
270
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,054
It's got an "a"
on the end.
271
00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:44,423
Got quite the accent,
don't you, kevina?
272
00:13:44,458 --> 00:13:46,959
Yeah, I've got
a real aussie accent.
273
00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:50,329
Except it's not as strong as it
used to be since I've lived here,
274
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,398
'cause every time I'm on
the phone with my mom
275
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,267
she says I sound
like marilyn monroe.
276
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:57,236
- Did you catch that?
- What are you deaf? Marilyn monroe.
277
00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:59,071
- Oh, marilyn monroe.
- Yeah.
278
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:01,474
- What about her?
- I talk like her now.
279
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,743
- She sounds like her.
- She does sound a bit like her.
280
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,444
Yeah, I suppose if you
squint your ears.
281
00:14:05,479 --> 00:14:07,413
Told ya.
282
00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:10,449
Keitha, do you mind not
listening for a moment, please?
283
00:14:10,484 --> 00:14:12,451
Jemaine, come in a bit.
284
00:14:12,486 --> 00:14:14,220
What did you bring
her here for?
285
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:16,255
Don't talk about her.
She's right there.
286
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:19,158
- She's not listening, is she?
- She's so close...
287
00:14:19,193 --> 00:14:20,693
you know what?
I'm gonna go to the dunny.
288
00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:23,396
- Got to murder a Brown snake, you know
- oh my God.
289
00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:26,032
Muzza, Bret, sweetcocks.
290
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,434
Jemaine, you can't be
serious about this.
291
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:30,837
- I am serious.
- Have you thought about your future?
292
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:33,272
- No, it's not gonna work, man.
- What do you mean?
293
00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:35,675
And your children, what about
them? What would become of them?
294
00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:37,777
They'll be aberrations,
won't they?
295
00:14:37,811 --> 00:14:39,412
It's pronounced
aborigines.
296
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:43,049
Well, think of them. They'll
be neither here nor there,
297
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:46,786
forced to move from city to city
looking for the perfect wave.
298
00:14:46,787 --> 00:14:49,722
- What are you gonna tell your mom?
- I won't tell my mom.
299
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:53,626
- What about Christmas, eh?
- She can't come to Christmas.
300
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,228
She's gonna ridicule
us at Christmas.
301
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:56,996
Maybe I will go to
her house for Christmas.
302
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,131
- I don't have to do everything you say.
- Keep your voice down.
303
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:01,267
- Sorry.
- And sit up straight. You're slouching terribly.
304
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,969
No, don't stand up,
just sit up.
305
00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:04,837
Let's go before
we get ridiculed.
306
00:15:04,872 --> 00:15:08,107
She's probably in the toilet thinking
of something to bring me down with.
307
00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:10,343
Come on.
308
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:13,713
See you later,
big j.
309
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,848
Let's go, little b.
310
00:15:15,883 --> 00:15:18,985
- Okay, little m.
- Medium m.
311
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:28,761
Jemaine, did you listen to
the answer phone message?
312
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,897
I think there may be
an answer phone message
313
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,632
for you
on the answer phone.
314
00:15:32,666 --> 00:15:35,234
Yes, Bret, I listened to
the answer phone message.
315
00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,703
Oh, good news?
Bad news?
316
00:15:37,738 --> 00:15:40,239
Uh, it's you putting on
a woman's voice
317
00:15:40,274 --> 00:15:43,075
pretending to be keitha
breaking up with me.
318
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:45,144
- Don't think so.
- It's clearly you, Bret.
319
00:15:45,179 --> 00:15:47,680
- I don't think so.
- It's obviously you putting on a woman's voice.
320
00:15:47,748 --> 00:15:49,382
Listen.
321
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,417
- G'day, big j.
- That's the one.
322
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,853
It's keitha here.
I've got some bad news.
323
00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:56,455
- It's keitha.
- I'm moving back to wollongong.
324
00:15:56,490 --> 00:15:58,157
- She's not from wollongong.
- Shh.
325
00:15:58,192 --> 00:16:00,092
- She's from wollamaloo.
- It was nice going out with you.
326
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:02,562
- Shh.
- But I'm never gonna see you again. Bye.
327
00:16:02,596 --> 00:16:05,364
- Oh no.
- And I'm married.
328
00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:08,968
- Who's on the phone, love?
- That's her husband.
329
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:11,737
Uh, nobody. I've got to go.
330
00:16:11,772 --> 00:16:14,240
Oh, that's terrible.
331
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:17,009
Jemaine, that's terrible.
332
00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:19,111
That's just...
333
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:20,746
I'm going, Bret.
334
00:16:20,781 --> 00:16:23,282
Jemaine, did I show you my
gloves that look like my hands?
335
00:16:23,317 --> 00:16:25,218
Get off.
Get off.
336
00:16:25,219 --> 00:16:28,221
Let go of my glove.
Ow, that's actually my hand.
337
00:16:28,255 --> 00:16:30,756
- That's actually my hand.
- I'm going.
338
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:39,899
Yeah?
339
00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:41,834
- I need to see keitha.
- Who?
340
00:16:41,869 --> 00:16:44,003
Keitha.
Keitha.
341
00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:46,806
Keitha. Keith with an "a"
at the end.
342
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,608
No, you can't see her.
343
00:16:48,642 --> 00:16:51,744
W- well, I need to see her.
344
00:16:51,812 --> 00:16:53,613
Well, you can't 'cause she's
moved back to Australia.
345
00:16:53,647 --> 00:16:55,748
- What's going on, kels?
- What?
346
00:16:55,816 --> 00:16:57,683
Dr. Spectacles here
is looking for keitha.
347
00:16:57,718 --> 00:16:59,752
Oh, she's gone, mate.
She said you were a prick
348
00:16:59,820 --> 00:17:01,787
and then she got on the bus
back to Australia for good.
349
00:17:01,822 --> 00:17:03,890
I don't believe you.
That's her sweatshirt.
350
00:17:03,924 --> 00:17:06,993
She doesn't need a sweatshirt
in Australia. It's hot.
351
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:08,294
Well, I can see her,
actually.
352
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,463
- , mate. She's gone back to oz.
- No, mate.
353
00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:12,031
She's there.
She's right there.
354
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:13,900
You don't need to really
keep going, do you?
355
00:17:13,934 --> 00:17:16,435
No, mate, she's gone. She's
in Australia like we said.
356
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,804
- Hey.
- Hi, big j.
357
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,607
- Hi, keitha.
- Bye.
358
00:17:21,675 --> 00:17:23,576
Bye.
359
00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:25,211
Kelli
bye, have fun.
360
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:28,014
Keitha, my friends think
our love can never be.
361
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,348
Can never be what?
362
00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:31,083
Well, you know,
can never be.
363
00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:33,452
Oh, well, my mates
think that too.
364
00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:36,289
Because I'm a new zealander
and you're an Australian
365
00:17:36,290 --> 00:17:38,724
and they don't think
we can be together?
366
00:17:38,759 --> 00:17:40,593
No, mostly it's 'cause
they think you're a dick.
367
00:17:40,594 --> 00:17:42,261
You know, with the dickish
glasses and that.
368
00:17:42,296 --> 00:17:44,830
No, it's mainly
because they think
369
00:17:44,865 --> 00:17:46,532
our races shouldn't mix.
370
00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:49,335
No, mostly it's 'cause they think
I've rooted better-looking fellas
371
00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:51,504
when I've been
too drunk to speak.
372
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,472
Is that how you feel?
373
00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:56,442
50-50.
I kinda like you.
374
00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:59,312
I kinda like you too.
375
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:07,153
♪ Loretta broke my heart
in a letter ♪
376
00:18:07,221 --> 00:18:10,189
♪ she told me she was leaving
and her life would be better ♪
377
00:18:10,224 --> 00:18:13,659
♪ Joan, broke it off
over the phone ♪
378
00:18:13,694 --> 00:18:16,996
♪ after the tone
she left me alone ♪
379
00:18:17,030 --> 00:18:19,966
♪ Jen said she'd never
ever see me again ♪
380
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,835
♪ when I saw her again
she said it again ♪
381
00:18:22,870 --> 00:18:26,706
♪ jan met another man ♪
382
00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:30,042
♪ liza got amnesia,
just forgot who I am ♪
383
00:18:30,077 --> 00:18:33,079
♪ felicity saw there was
no electricity ♪
384
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:36,415
♪ Emily, no chemistry ♪
385
00:18:36,450 --> 00:18:39,619
♪ fran ran,
turned out to be a man ♪
386
00:18:39,653 --> 00:18:42,922
♪ flo had to go,
I couldn't go with the flow ♪
387
00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:46,792
♪ carol Brown
just took a bus out of town ♪
388
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:51,130
♪ but I'm hoping that
you'll stick around ♪
389
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:54,467
♪ he doesn't cook
or clean ♪
390
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,936
♪ he's not good
boyfriend material ♪
391
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:59,105
♪ oo-whee
and eats cereal ♪
392
00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:01,174
♪ you'll lose
interest fast ♪
393
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:03,409
♪ his relationships
never last ♪
394
00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:05,211
♪ shut up, girlfriends
from the past ♪
395
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:07,780
♪ she says he'll do
one thing ♪
396
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:10,216
♪ and then he goes
and does another thing ♪
397
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:14,053
♪ oh, who organized
all of my ex-girlfriends ♪
398
00:19:14,087 --> 00:19:17,456
♪ into a choir
and got them to sing? ♪
399
00:19:17,491 --> 00:19:21,360
♪ who? Who? ♪
400
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,664
♪ mmm, shut up ♪
401
00:19:28,969 --> 00:19:31,404
♪ shut up, girlfriends
from the past ♪
402
00:19:36,777 --> 00:19:39,745
♪ may, may will no
longer see m♪
403
00:19:39,780 --> 00:19:42,582
♪ britney,
britney hit me ♪
404
00:19:42,616 --> 00:19:46,452
♪ Paula, persephone,
stella and stephanie ♪
405
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:49,455
♪ there must be 50 ways
that lovers have left me ♪
406
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:53,526
♪ carol Brown
just took a bus out of town ♪
407
00:19:55,963 --> 00:19:58,264
♪ love is a delicate thing ♪
408
00:19:58,332 --> 00:20:00,066
♪ it could just float
away on the breeze ♪
409
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:02,668
♪ he said the same thing to me ♪
410
00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:04,704
♪ how can we ever know ♪
411
00:20:04,738 --> 00:20:06,639
♪ we've found the right
person in this world? ♪
412
00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:09,141
♪ he means he looks
at other girls ♪
413
00:20:09,176 --> 00:20:10,977
♪ love is a mystery ♪
414
00:20:11,011 --> 00:20:13,579
♪ it does not
follow a rule ♪
415
00:20:13,614 --> 00:20:15,515
♪ this guy is a fool ♪
416
00:20:15,549 --> 00:20:17,750
♪ he'll always be a boy ♪
417
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:19,585
♪ he's a man
who never grew up ♪
418
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:21,954
♪ I thought I told you
to shut up ♪
419
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:27,393
♪ lola, you told me
you were in a coma ♪
420
00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:34,200
♪ tiffany, you said that
you had an epiphany ♪
421
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:40,840
♪ mmm, would you like
a little cereal? ♪
422
00:20:40,874 --> 00:20:43,242
♪ who organized this choir
of ex-girlfriends? ♪
423
00:20:43,277 --> 00:20:46,913
♪ was it you, carol Brown?
Was it you, carol Brown? ♪
424
00:20:46,947 --> 00:20:51,684
♪ carol Brown just took
a bus out of town ♪
425
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,789
♪ but I'm hoping that
you'll stick around ♪
426
00:20:58,225 --> 00:21:01,460
- ♪ stick around ♪
- ♪ do do do do do do ♪
427
00:21:01,495 --> 00:21:04,664
- ♪ stick around ♪
- ♪ do do do do do do ♪
428
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:07,800
♪ do do do do do do ♪
429
00:21:07,868 --> 00:21:09,068
♪ just stick around ♪
430
00:21:09,136 --> 00:21:11,170
♪ do do do do do do ♪
431
00:21:11,205 --> 00:21:12,772
♪ just stick around. ♪
432
00:21:12,806 --> 00:21:15,007
- hey, Dave.
- Oh, hey, guys.
433
00:21:15,042 --> 00:21:17,610
- You seen Jemaine?
- Wait a second.
434
00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:18,845
Which one are you?
435
00:21:18,846 --> 00:21:20,179
- This is Bret.
- Bret.
436
00:21:20,180 --> 00:21:22,415
- Okay.
- Yeah, not looking for me.
437
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:23,850
No, I haven't seen him.
438
00:21:26,186 --> 00:21:28,087
Well, we're looking
for him.
439
00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:31,023
He's missing, all right,
David? We're looking for him.
440
00:21:31,024 --> 00:21:32,758
If you find him can you tell
him that we're looking for him?
441
00:21:32,793 --> 00:21:35,494
- All right.
- Thank you. Keep looking.
442
00:21:35,529 --> 00:21:37,396
Yeah, if you see him
or his girlfriend...
443
00:21:37,431 --> 00:21:39,799
- or start looking.
...let us know.
444
00:21:39,833 --> 00:21:41,501
- I mean, keep looking.
- Got it.
445
00:21:41,535 --> 00:21:43,135
- Thank you.
- Forget about it.
446
00:21:43,170 --> 00:21:45,705
See you, Murray.
See you, Jemaine.
447
00:21:45,706 --> 00:21:48,274
Oh, Bret,
he said Jemaine.
448
00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:50,543
They're gone.
449
00:21:50,544 --> 00:21:52,411
- Thank you, Dave.
- Don't worry about it, guys.
450
00:21:52,446 --> 00:21:54,480
I just think it's really cool
that you love each other
451
00:21:54,515 --> 00:21:56,349
even though
you're from austria
452
00:21:56,383 --> 00:21:58,784
and you're from someplace no
one's even fucking heard of.
453
00:21:58,819 --> 00:22:00,453
- Australia.
- New zealand.
454
00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:02,688
Exactly, because it
shouldn't matter
455
00:22:02,723 --> 00:22:04,457
where you're from
when love's involved.
456
00:22:04,491 --> 00:22:07,994
It's like that movie,
"interracial hole stretchers 2."
457
00:22:08,028 --> 00:22:10,496
She was white
and they were black,
458
00:22:10,531 --> 00:22:12,632
but it didn't matter
in the end, did it?
459
00:22:12,666 --> 00:22:14,200
Because they were in love.
460
00:22:14,234 --> 00:22:17,103
I haven't seen that one.
461
00:22:17,137 --> 00:22:18,404
Well, it really affected me.
462
00:22:18,472 --> 00:22:21,474
I better get packed up.
I'll see you at 4:00.
463
00:22:21,542 --> 00:22:23,309
I love you, big j.
464
00:22:24,878 --> 00:22:26,679
I love you too.
465
00:22:26,713 --> 00:22:30,316
So you're just gonna elope? Just
leave the city and leave the band?
466
00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:33,019
Yeah, I'm going
to new Jersey.
467
00:22:33,053 --> 00:22:35,087
Wow.
New Jersey, huh?
468
00:22:35,155 --> 00:22:37,156
I'd love to go there.
469
00:22:37,191 --> 00:22:41,227
But I got a lot of shit going
on in the states right now.
470
00:22:43,430 --> 00:22:45,464
Bye, Dave.
471
00:22:45,499 --> 00:22:46,999
Don't drink the water.
472
00:23:13,026 --> 00:23:15,728
Excuse me. Have you seen an
Australian girl around here?
473
00:23:15,762 --> 00:23:17,296
We're eloping
to new Jersey.
474
00:23:17,331 --> 00:23:20,900
Sorry, pal.
Haven't seen her.
475
00:23:20,934 --> 00:23:22,802
How much is it to
new Jersey, by the way?
476
00:23:22,836 --> 00:23:25,805
I don't go to new Jersey.
I only ride around the park.
477
00:23:25,806 --> 00:23:27,840
- That's weird.
- Yeah.
478
00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:31,143
She said
she'd done it before.
479
00:23:33,447 --> 00:23:35,448
Oh no.
480
00:23:35,449 --> 00:23:37,517
Oh no.
481
00:23:41,955 --> 00:23:44,490
Take me to Chinatown
and do not delay, sir.
482
00:23:44,491 --> 00:23:46,859
Iook,
just around the park.
483
00:23:46,894 --> 00:23:48,427
Ah, yes, you said that.
Yes.
484
00:23:48,462 --> 00:23:50,329
Yeah.
485
00:23:50,364 --> 00:23:52,565
Sorry.
I'm so sorry.
486
00:24:10,517 --> 00:24:13,920
Jemaine.
Where've you been?
487
00:24:15,255 --> 00:24:18,124
Bret, have you
seen keitha?
488
00:24:18,158 --> 00:24:19,759
She robbed us.
489
00:24:19,793 --> 00:24:21,994
Her and her friends jumped me
and taped me to the door.
490
00:24:22,029 --> 00:24:24,297
Did she mention me at all?
491
00:24:24,331 --> 00:24:26,365
No, sorry, man.
492
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:29,302
I'm not sure
about her and me.
493
00:24:29,336 --> 00:24:31,037
Could you pass me
my sandwich, please?
494
00:24:31,038 --> 00:24:33,105
Okay.
495
00:24:33,140 --> 00:24:34,674
Here's your sandwich.
496
00:24:34,675 --> 00:24:37,877
- Would you like a napkin?
- No thanks.
497
00:24:37,878 --> 00:24:40,479
- Can I get a hug?
- Huh?
498
00:24:40,514 --> 00:24:42,114
Can I get a hug?
Hug?
499
00:24:42,149 --> 00:24:44,450
- No. No.
- A hug?
500
00:24:48,455 --> 00:24:49,956
Unfair.
501
00:24:49,990 --> 00:24:52,024
I'm not participating
in this hug.
502
00:24:53,994 --> 00:24:56,095
Sorry, man.
503
00:24:56,129 --> 00:24:57,930
It'll be okay.
504
00:25:14,014 --> 00:25:17,149
♪ going to the party,
sipping on bacardi ♪
505
00:25:17,184 --> 00:25:20,553
♪ want to meet a hottie, but
there's Adam, Steve and Marty ♪
506
00:25:20,587 --> 00:25:24,023
♪ there's Billy, todd and Tommy,
they're on leave from the army ♪
507
00:25:24,057 --> 00:25:27,493
♪ the only boobs I see tonight
will be made of origami ♪
508
00:25:27,528 --> 00:25:29,295
♪ tell the fellas,
make it understood ♪
509
00:25:29,329 --> 00:25:31,063
♪ it ain't no good
if there's too much wood ♪
510
00:25:31,098 --> 00:25:34,400
♪ make sure you know before
511
00:25:34,401 --> 00:25:37,603
♪ five to one is a brodeo, tell
Steve and Mark it's time to go ♪
512
00:25:37,638 --> 00:25:41,340
♪ wait outside all night to
find 20 dudes in a conga line ♪
513
00:25:41,375 --> 00:25:44,911
♪ too many dicks
on the dance floor ♪
514
00:25:44,945 --> 00:25:48,381
♪ too many dicks on
the dance floor. ♪
515
00:25:48,431 --> 00:25:52,981
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