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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:03,970
After rehearsal
I like to linger on the stage...
3
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:08,899
to reflect on the day's work in solitude.
4
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,897
It's the hours
between afternoon and evening,
5
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:18,402
when the big theater
is quiet and deserted.
6
00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:23,577
I must have slept a while.
I'm not sure.
7
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:28,833
As I look around,
I don't recognize the room.
8
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,627
Something has changed...
9
00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:35,752
mysteriously and elusively.
10
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:21,718
What are you looking for?
11
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:25,139
A bracelet.
I'm always losing things.
12
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,554
Distance and weariness.
13
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,190
Distance and anxiety.
14
00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:37,276
Distance and a sharp taste of iron
on the tongue.
15
00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,988
I want her to leave.
16
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:46,827
This search for a bracelet
is obviously a pretext.
17
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:50,042
I want you to leave.
18
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,583
Go now.
19
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:57,087
Never mind.
It was nothing special.
20
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:59,006
I see.
21
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:04,470
- I'd gladly rehearse day and night.
- No need to apologize.
22
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,593
I'm not apologizing.
23
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:11,310
How old are you, Anna Egerman?
24
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:18,147
- Guess.
- Same age as my youngest daughter.
25
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:22,609
Your dad and I were filming.
We both had daughters within a week.
26
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,906
23 years and three months, right?
27
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,950
You and Dad had fun.
28
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:29,369
Do I hear a reproach?
29
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,286
Dad was always gone.
Mom was always sad.
30
00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:35,380
Wasn't she
an especially talented actress?
31
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,461
That she was, Anna dear.
32
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:41,051
She was one of the most
beautiful women I've ever seen.
33
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:44,263
Charming, talented, passionate.
34
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,847
Then she married and quit the theater.
- You were in love with her.
35
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,685
We all were.
36
00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:52,897
Did you have a relationship?
Why not?
37
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:55,186
She and I kept our distance.
38
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:58,395
Mikael was braver...
or more foolhardy.
39
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,647
And look what happened.
40
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:07,075
Mom had lots of kids she didn't like
and died of alcohol poisoning.
41
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:12,909
I asked her once
why she quit the theater.
42
00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:17,922
She replied that she loved my father
43
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,633
and didn't want to squander her life.
44
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:23,761
She was such a sham.
45
00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:27,053
- It's strange hearing you speak of her.
- Am I too harsh?
46
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:33,021
- You speak with no sympathy.
- How can I feign a sympathy I lack?
47
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:37,104
It was years before I dared
to hate her full-out.
48
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,979
Instead I nearly went mad
from depression.
49
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,107
Now I hate her,
and I feel much better.
50
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:47,610
I'm sure it doesn't matter to her now!
51
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:50,621
That's the big question.
52
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:54,705
I read an interview with you
where you declared
53
00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,793
that this is our only life,
54
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,956
that "before" and especially "after"
55
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,337
didn't exist...
56
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:06,717
and that knowing that gave you
a deep sense of security.
57
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:09,056
You have a talent for irony.
58
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:10,971
It's only confusion!
59
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,936
Let me tell you something,
Anna Egerman.
60
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,228
At my age,
sometimes when you lean forward,
61
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:22,400
your head suddenly finds itself
in another reality.
62
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,482
The dead are no longer dead.
63
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:28,492
The living appear like ghosts.
64
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:33,331
What was obvious a minute earlier...
65
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:37,327
becomes peculiar and hard to grasp.
66
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,750
Anna...
67
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:48,884
listen to the silence on this stage.
68
00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:59,478
Imagine all the spiritual energy...
69
00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:04,028
all the emotions,
real and make-believe...
70
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:09,868
all the laughter, rage, passion,
and who knows what else.
71
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,371
It's all still here...
72
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,663
enclosed...
73
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,838
living its secret, uninterrupted life.
74
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,592
I hear them sometimes.
75
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:29,882
Often.
76
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,929
Sometimes I think I can see them:
77
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:37,512
demons, angels...
78
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,893
ghosts.
79
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,355
Ordinary people...
80
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:48,360
intently going about their lives.
81
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,575
Closed off.
82
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:55,237
Secretive.
83
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,998
Sometimes we speak to each other...
84
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,747
but just in passing.
85
00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:08,422
There's that ironic smile again!
- Not at all.
86
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:12,638
I know what you mean,
but do you really believe...
87
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,758
Isn't that irrelevant?
88
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:18,019
Whether they're like
in the dreams I create,
89
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:20,684
entire plays with actors and dialogue,
90
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:25,610
or whether they really have
a life of their own, beyond my senses?
91
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:27,399
Isn't that irrelevant?
92
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:30,989
Yet you think my hatred hurts my mother,
even though she's dead.
93
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:34,235
Your hatred scares me.
I think it reaches her.
94
00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:36,454
Then I'm glad.
95
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:45,331
You were about to say something.
- Play your part. It's your play.
96
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,815
Why cast me as Indra's Daughter?
97
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,906
- You're very talented.
- So you do think so?
98
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:18,529
I saw you
in a drama school performance.
99
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:22,033
Agnes in
Brand. It was awful.
- Yes, it was.
100
00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:25,336
You can only be that bad
if you're talented.
101
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,380
Then I saw you in a film.
102
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,671
A minor part in a bad film.
103
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:37,219
I'd just been asked to come back
and direct something here.
104
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,642
When I saw that film, I thought...
105
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,433
"I'll do
A Dream Play...
106
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,349
with Anna Egerman
as Indra's Daughter."
107
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:49,526
This will be my fifth
Dream Play.
108
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:52,863
There could be
a sixth and seventh too.
109
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:56,818
When I was 12,
I was allowed in here
110
00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:59,536
with an organist
who played backstage.
111
00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:03,499
Night after night I'd sit
112
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,367
there in the light tower,
113
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:08,962
watching the marriage scenes
between the Lawyer and the Daughter.
114
00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:14,506
It was the first time
I experienced the magic of actors.
115
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:20,095
The Lawyer held a hairpin
between his fingers.
116
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,636
"Look at this.
117
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,891
It's two prongs, but one pin.
118
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:32,103
It's two... but it's one.
119
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,857
If I straighten it out...
120
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:40,577
it's a single entity.
121
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:45,075
If I bend it, it's two...
122
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,453
without ceasing to be one.
123
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,748
That means: The two are one.
124
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:57,091
But if I break it...
125
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,758
Now the two are two!"
126
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:09,728
There was no pin, but I saw it!
127
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:12,610
That's how it all started.
128
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,525
There I sat...
129
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:20,697
crouched between two spotlights
and a thunder sheet.
130
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:23,616
I'm too young for the part.
131
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,616
Indra's Daughter
is always too old or too young.
132
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:29,289
You've always modified the text.
133
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,332
Of course.
It makes things easier.
134
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,877
"I don't understand this... cut it."
135
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:37,051
"This sounds ridiculous...
I'll rewrite it."
136
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:40,137
"This scene is in the wrong place...
I'll move it."
137
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,798
I knead the text
for a specific purpose.
138
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:46,094
I use a giant cross
in the final scene,
139
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:49,688
or a hundred extras in rags,
their left fists raised.
140
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,933
I violate Strindberg!
141
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:54,602
It works. It's all the rage.
142
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:57,196
I get rave reviews.
143
00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,236
Why am I saying this?
It's nonsense.
144
00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:02,317
Tired clichés.
145
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:07,368
Why do I suddenly embark
on these ridiculous theatrics,
146
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:12,996
this parody of a conviction
that's gone sour and crumbled?
147
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:19,965
Why justify myself to this young person
who doesn't care what I say?
148
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:23,757
You want me to persuade you
you're right for the part.
149
00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:27,511
That's my job, the sweet secret
of our relationship.
150
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:32,353
You assume I believe in you
and demand constant confirmation.
151
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:37,361
If I'm convincing enough verbally,
emotionally, and intellectually,
152
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:41,820
you'll eventually believe me,
and confidence will blossom forth.
153
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:45,535
Meanwhile, I'm inspired
by your trust and self-confidence.
154
00:11:45,997 --> 00:11:47,704
The blood pulses.
155
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:51,333
Tiny veins filled
with red life branch out
156
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:55,421
to the furthest and dullest edges
of the ensemble,
157
00:11:55,715 --> 00:12:00,380
lending color to mediocre cheeks
and making eyes shine.
158
00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:02,795
That's how it is, Anna Egerman.
159
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:04,968
That's how it must be.
160
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:09,055
When you were a wild little troll
in your father's lap,
161
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:13,098
perhaps I thought,
"She'll become an actress."
162
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,896
When I saw you in that silly film...
163
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:20,946
your way of moving,
of speaking...
164
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,903
when I saw your eyes...
165
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:27,320
your eagerness and vulnerability...
166
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:30,246
it made me happy.
167
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,414
I felt that with you
I could set in motion
168
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:36,878
the wheel that gets
heavier every year.
169
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:40,590
If that's true, why are you so critical?
170
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:43,256
You find fault in everything I do.
171
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:46,051
I cry in despair when I get home.
172
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:49,766
I don't think you believe in me at all.
- Really?
173
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:53,850
You don't think I believe in you?
174
00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:58,393
That's the only silly thing
I've heard you say these five weeks.
175
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:03,364
If I may hazard a guess,
I think your tears may be tears of joy.
176
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:06,529
You
know something
is happening inside you,
177
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:10,530
a regrouping and restructuring
of your resources.
178
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:13,991
It can feel relentless and painful...
179
00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:17,245
but it makes you happy all the same.
180
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,335
When we speak outside of work,
181
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:23,959
you're a worse actress
than when we're working.
182
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:26,587
Get rid of the private-life actress.
183
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:30,007
She steals energy
from the real actress,
184
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:33,477
thwarting impulses
you could use on stage.
185
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,933
- What a lecture!
- Yes, it was!
186
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:40,856
Now I'm off to my hotel for a nap
so I can work with you tonight.
187
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,024
See you.
- Bye.
188
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,105
Sleep well!
189
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:52,038
- So you think I act in real life?
- As a matter of fact, I do.
190
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:55,662
People are glad to see
the face they're expecting.
191
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:59,374
Someone expects you
to be pleased with a gift, so you are.
192
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:03,089
Someone wants you to show love,
and you get love in return.
193
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:06,130
You're supposed to be
sympathetic, funny, sexy, or sad.
194
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,003
Are you always real?
195
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:12,638
- Me? I live an isolated life.
- What about rehearsals?
196
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:15,978
Then it's about
the actors' emotions, not mine.
197
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:19,143
I'll do anything
to get the best out of you.
198
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:22,143
It's my job, and my only true joy.
199
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:26,113
Is it really so important
to be precise with my feelings?
200
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:30,155
How can I protect myself
from the world without my little act?
201
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,993
Guess.
202
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:34,408
Maybe I shouldn't protect myself.
203
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:39,751
Who tricked me into using
all these fake emotions?
204
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,170
It must start early.
205
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,964
Far back in childhood.
206
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:50,011
The anxiety to please,
the need to please.
207
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,511
Mom could be frightening, and Dad...
208
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:55,384
Yes, you know all that.
209
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,848
As a child you're at a disadvantage,
210
00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:00,893
and later you keep it up
because it's easier.
211
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:09,114
There's something important
I have to ask you.
212
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,734
In the marriage scene
with the Lawyer,
213
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:14,612
you have me pacing
like a caged animal.
214
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,706
I can't do it the way you want.
215
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:19,666
I feel silly.
216
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:23,583
Keep trying. If it doesn't work,
we'll think of something else.
217
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:26,081
Maria was praised
for pacing like that
218
00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:28,709
in your last production
11 years ago.
219
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:32,759
I'm not as good as she was,
and she was twice my age.
220
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:35,928
- You read the reviews?
- Of course.
221
00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:40,726
What's so funny?
Maria's a dead legend. I have to...
222
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:43,850
If you don't want to pace like Maria...
223
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,360
you can do just the opposite.
224
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:51,615
Sit motionless the whole time...
225
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:55,490
as if chained to the chair.
226
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:59,160
Close to the stove. She's cold.
227
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:05,496
Don't get up until the Officer comes
to rescue you from your prison.
228
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:09,375
Then you get up
as if you'd been paralyzed.
229
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,887
That will be very effective.
230
00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:21,554
And Maria will be turning over
in her grave.
231
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,152
So I sit motionless...
232
00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:36,823
shivering by the stove.
233
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:44,209
But I can hold my arms out
to him when I say...
234
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,336
"Dearest...
235
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,048
I'm dying in this air...
236
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:59,008
in this room
with its backyard view...
237
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:04,725
with that baby's cries...
238
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:08,521
and endless hours of sleeplessness...
239
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:13,522
and those people out there...
240
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:19,787
with their whining and bickering
and incriminations.
241
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,958
I'll die if I stay here."
242
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,552
Then he walks over to me..
243
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:39,222
and embraces me...
244
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,852
then falls to his knees and says...
245
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:47,640
"Poor little flower."
246
00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:54,568
That would be good.
That would help enormously.
247
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:39,942
A few days ago you said
the Daughter is heavy here,
248
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,577
that she weighs
hundreds of pounds.
249
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,493
But I can't find any weight.
250
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:49,084
- It's in your shoulders and hips.
- Yes, but...
251
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:54,457
It's not easy when
you're brimming with lust for life.
252
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:58,002
Stand still.
Delight in standing still.
253
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:01,426
Stand with your whole body,
not just your legs.
254
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:06,635
How do you know
you're saying the right things?
255
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:09,013
You've never acted.
- I feel it.
256
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,811
Are you never afraid of being wrong?
257
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,192
When I was younger
258
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,779
and had reason to be afraid,
I didn't realize it.
259
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:22,405
Many directors' paths are lined
with the corpses of actors.
260
00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:25,574
Have you ever cared
to count your victims?
261
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:28,995
In life... or let us say
"in the real world"...
262
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:32,290
many have been hurt by my treatment,
263
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,796
just as I've been hurt by others'.
264
00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:37,166
- But not in the theater?
- No.
265
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:43,298
I'll tell you the pure and simple truth:
266
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,840
I love actors.
267
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,806
I love them as phenomena.
268
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,514
I love their profession.
269
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:56,105
I love their courage,
or their contempt for death,
270
00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:58,445
whatever you want to call it.
271
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,940
I understand their desire to escape,
272
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:06,161
but also their dark, ruthless honesty.
273
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:10,366
I love when they try to manipulate me.
274
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:14,286
I envy them their gullibility
275
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:17,047
and their perceptiveness.
276
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:21,256
I love them,
so I can never hurt them.
277
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:23,003
You say you love them.
278
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:25,882
Are you never disappointed?
- No.
279
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,809
Stop smoking all the time.
280
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:31,723
Sorry.
281
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:35,857
My old teacher once said
a director should learn to listen
282
00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:37,942
and shut up.
283
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:42,235
Actors are creative artists,
but they're not very verbal.
284
00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:45,450
You have to listen,
be patient, and wait.
285
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:49,413
- You say a lot to me.
- That's different. You're a beginner.
286
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,040
Your garden needs weeding.
287
00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:54,455
There are lots of weeds,
288
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:57,330
but the roses are without peer.
289
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:05,170
Are you tired?
290
00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:10,392
I often nap at this time of day.
My blood sugar's at rock bottom.
291
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:13,182
- Were you going to sleep here earlier?
- No.
292
00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:16,773
I was going to wax sentimental.
- Don't let me disturb you.
293
00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:20,311
Listen, you weren't wearing
a bracelet earlier.
294
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:22,984
I remember noticing that.
295
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,198
Could it be in the dressing room?
296
00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:29,114
Anyway, you're not disturbing me,
297
00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:32,080
and you could never stem
my desire for nostalgia.
298
00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:35,117
On the contrary.
- Then I'll sit here.
299
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:40,289
"Come a little closer...
300
00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:44,460
the better to see you,"
said the wolf.
301
00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:02,979
- That hairstyle suits you.
- I'm growing my hair for the part.
302
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:07,775
The first few days you had some
modern hairstyle. It didn't suit you.
303
00:22:07,910 --> 00:22:11,654
I wanted to look smart for you,
so I went to the hairdresser.
304
00:22:11,789 --> 00:22:13,576
For me? Thank you!
305
00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:15,949
I wanted to make an impression.
306
00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:18,293
Would a modern, self-sufficient...
307
00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:20,537
In that respect I'm not modern.
308
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:26,342
- My leg hurts like hell.
- Since when?
309
00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:29,133
It's death gnawing at me
like eager little rats.
310
00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:31,507
You and Dad are the same age.
311
00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:34,176
Yes, we're the same age.
312
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:39,143
So here we are.
- Looking out over the dark auditorium.
313
00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:43,064
Above us, the dust from the grid
falls on our heads.
314
00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:46,484
And beneath us...
- An abyss of machinery
315
00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:49,949
for the revolving stage,
trapdoors, and...
316
00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:57,828
Here we are, sitting nicely.
317
00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:04,714
That armchair there
was featured in
The Father.
318
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,884
This sofa had a part in
Hedda Gabler.
319
00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:11,546
I used that table in
Tartuffe...
320
00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:14,804
and the chairs
in my last
Dream Play.
321
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,477
Old acquaintances, all of them.
322
00:23:18,522 --> 00:23:21,185
I greet them like old friends.
323
00:23:23,777 --> 00:23:27,066
I like my rehearsal screens
best of all.
324
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,653
They remind me of my childhood.
325
00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:35,324
I had a big wooden box
filled with plain building blocks.
326
00:23:35,497 --> 00:23:37,864
They could be anything I wanted.
327
00:23:39,209 --> 00:23:41,326
That's what I like best:
328
00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:44,788
chair... table...
329
00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:47,290
screen...
330
00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:50,335
stage...
331
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:53,759
house lights...
332
00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:57,426
actors in everyday clothes...
333
00:23:58,771 --> 00:24:00,387
movement...
334
00:24:01,148 --> 00:24:02,730
voices...
335
00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:05,187
faces...
336
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,563
stillness...
337
00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:13,442
magic.
338
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:17,741
Everything is "represented."
339
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:20,574
Nothing is.
340
00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:28,210
Boring, Anna. Boring.
341
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,127
I love these old theaters.
342
00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:34,964
They're like violins:
343
00:24:35,641 --> 00:24:37,473
infinitely sensitive...
344
00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:39,926
refined...
345
00:24:41,105 --> 00:24:42,937
definitive.
346
00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:46,517
But they tie us down.
347
00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:50,483
Words, actors, audience...
that's all you need.
348
00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:54,691
That's all you need
for the miracle to happen.
349
00:24:55,953 --> 00:24:57,819
That's my belief...
350
00:24:58,205 --> 00:25:02,119
my innermost conviction,
yet I never follow it!
351
00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:06,119
I'm far too attached
352
00:25:06,255 --> 00:25:11,671
to this depraved, dusty,
grubby instrument.
353
00:25:13,595 --> 00:25:15,837
So it is and always has been.
354
00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:19,682
You once said
acting is a moral business.
355
00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:21,684
That sounds dreadful!
356
00:25:21,812 --> 00:25:24,725
My old teacher divided actors
into two categories:
357
00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:27,099
One walks on, the other walks off.
358
00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:29,271
- Sounds unfair!
- No, not unfair...
359
00:25:29,403 --> 00:25:31,520
but neither is it equal.
360
00:25:31,739 --> 00:25:34,402
You don't care whatever X does,
361
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:38,026
but you'll look at Y,
even if he's not moving a finger.
362
00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:41,492
I didn't really want to be an actor.
363
00:25:43,042 --> 00:25:47,787
- Who forced you?
- I'd watch Mom and Dad fight.
364
00:25:47,963 --> 00:25:52,003
They'd use their voices
and gestures and intonation.
365
00:25:52,134 --> 00:25:55,002
A line from a play might slip in,
366
00:25:55,137 --> 00:25:57,550
appropriately modified for the occasion.
367
00:25:57,681 --> 00:25:59,388
Mom was the worst.
368
00:25:59,558 --> 00:26:02,346
Couldn't Dad hear
how affected she sounded?
369
00:26:02,478 --> 00:26:07,064
Couldn't he see her crying out of one eye
and monitoring the effect with the other?
370
00:26:07,191 --> 00:26:12,061
Or how she directed the play,
forcing the oddest lines on him?
371
00:26:12,738 --> 00:26:15,697
Mom was superb, but I wasn't fooled!
372
00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:22,071
I said to her once...
373
00:26:24,625 --> 00:26:27,868
"Don't act with me, Mom.
I'm a poor audience.
374
00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:30,165
All your efforts are wasted."
375
00:26:32,466 --> 00:26:34,378
She gave me...
376
00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:38,010
a frightening look and said...
377
00:26:40,432 --> 00:26:42,594
"This is how I express myself.
378
00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:45,472
I have no other way.
379
00:26:46,396 --> 00:26:48,979
Real or not...
380
00:26:50,984 --> 00:26:52,691
I suffer...
381
00:26:53,862 --> 00:26:58,106
and I'm lonely.
Try to understand that!"
382
00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:33,232
- It's raining.
- Oh, really?
383
00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:36,065
Yes, I hear it now.
384
00:27:37,531 --> 00:27:41,115
- A real autumn rain.
- It
is autumn.
385
00:27:43,328 --> 00:27:45,945
- Were you napping?
- No.
386
00:27:46,081 --> 00:27:47,697
Distance.
387
00:27:48,792 --> 00:27:50,704
Indifference.
388
00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:53,332
Weariness.
389
00:27:54,548 --> 00:27:56,210
Fear.
390
00:27:57,801 --> 00:27:59,508
Impotence.
391
00:28:01,471 --> 00:28:03,554
Impotent rage.
392
00:28:05,851 --> 00:28:07,467
Distance.
393
00:28:10,647 --> 00:28:13,560
- Do you want to go to bed?
- Here?
394
00:28:13,942 --> 00:28:16,685
In your room.
It's happened before.
395
00:28:16,862 --> 00:28:18,524
You're not sober.
396
00:28:18,906 --> 00:28:21,819
- How unpleasant!
- Yes, it is unpleasant.
397
00:28:22,618 --> 00:28:24,530
Come on, Henrik.
398
00:28:24,870 --> 00:28:26,532
I don't feel like it.
399
00:28:29,666 --> 00:28:31,532
You feel like it.
400
00:28:32,669 --> 00:28:34,376
You feel like it...
401
00:28:36,089 --> 00:28:38,376
but you're embarrassed.
402
00:28:39,092 --> 00:28:42,085
- We have nothing more...
- ...to say to each other.
403
00:28:42,221 --> 00:28:44,258
We can still make love.
404
00:28:44,389 --> 00:28:47,257
We've never had
any disputes in that area.
405
00:28:47,392 --> 00:28:49,930
Have we, my friend?
- No.
406
00:28:52,231 --> 00:28:54,564
I've looked into your face...
407
00:28:54,900 --> 00:28:58,064
deep down inside.
408
00:28:59,905 --> 00:29:02,568
We have no secrets from each other.
409
00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:05,279
It's like a line from a bad play.
410
00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:07,493
- One of yours, perhaps?
- Thanks.
411
00:29:15,879 --> 00:29:20,249
Why do you force me to take
a part with only two lines?
412
00:29:20,425 --> 00:29:24,715
Does it amuse you to humiliate me
in front of my colleagues?
413
00:29:24,846 --> 00:29:28,931
- Do you want the truth?
- Yes! I always love your excuses.
414
00:29:29,518 --> 00:29:33,137
- You really are a pest.
- A contagious one.
415
00:29:33,272 --> 00:29:37,107
Would you be so kind
as to try to remember
416
00:29:37,234 --> 00:29:42,104
that I called you a year ago
and told you about this production.
417
00:29:42,281 --> 00:29:46,321
I asked if you'd play Edith's mother,
for old times' sake.
418
00:29:46,451 --> 00:29:50,786
You cried and thanked me
and said I'd made you terribly happy,
419
00:29:50,914 --> 00:29:54,783
that you were grateful
I hadn't forgotten you, and so on.
420
00:29:54,918 --> 00:29:57,456
We talked for nearly an hour.
421
00:29:58,255 --> 00:30:03,296
You called back later that evening,
quite drunk,
422
00:30:03,427 --> 00:30:06,090
and said you were extremely grateful
423
00:30:06,221 --> 00:30:08,838
and that you still loved me.
424
00:30:09,808 --> 00:30:13,677
It's been exactly one minute,
and I've produced my explanation.
425
00:30:14,104 --> 00:30:17,313
If there's anything I should add, it...
426
00:30:17,899 --> 00:30:20,482
Never mind. It's irrelevant.
427
00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:24,813
I can picture you
with the theater manager:
428
00:30:24,948 --> 00:30:27,486
"I want Rakel to play Edith's mother."
429
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:30,402
He says, "Isn't that a bit risky?
430
00:30:30,537 --> 00:30:33,826
She's been off sick
for three months.
431
00:30:33,999 --> 00:30:36,992
I don't know
if you could put up with her.
432
00:30:37,169 --> 00:30:39,161
She's become careless
and undisciplined."
433
00:30:39,629 --> 00:30:41,962
You sit in silence for a while...
434
00:30:42,799 --> 00:30:44,836
thinking of the old Rakel.
435
00:30:45,927 --> 00:30:50,137
You nod and smile and say,
"I'll call her.
436
00:30:53,894 --> 00:30:56,978
I'll let her decide."
437
00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:19,914
- Are you still living at home?
- No.
438
00:31:20,087 --> 00:31:22,124
Are you living on your own?
439
00:31:22,464 --> 00:31:25,172
You know I live at the hospital.
440
00:31:26,385 --> 00:31:28,877
- I didn't know.
- Don't pretend, darling.
441
00:31:29,054 --> 00:31:31,387
I didn't know, honestly.
442
00:31:33,308 --> 00:31:35,391
For Anna's sake.
443
00:31:35,519 --> 00:31:37,260
What about Mikael?
444
00:31:37,396 --> 00:31:40,889
Mikael bears all things,
believes all things, hopes all things.
445
00:31:41,066 --> 00:31:43,900
He's kind. Mikael is kind!
446
00:31:44,861 --> 00:31:47,729
- And Anna?
- Do you care?
447
00:31:48,115 --> 00:31:51,074
- She's fine.
- That's an exhaustive account.
448
00:31:51,243 --> 00:31:54,827
What do you want me to say?
She really is fine.
449
00:31:55,497 --> 00:31:57,238
How old is she?
450
00:31:57,707 --> 00:31:59,744
She'll be 12 in June.
451
00:31:59,876 --> 00:32:02,869
She's more and more like you.
452
00:32:03,964 --> 00:32:05,956
You're driving at something nasty.
453
00:32:06,425 --> 00:32:09,793
- Anna sells people out.
- I don't understand.
454
00:32:10,053 --> 00:32:13,091
She sells her mother out
to please her father.
455
00:32:13,223 --> 00:32:15,385
Perhaps she has her reasons.
456
00:32:15,517 --> 00:32:17,474
Naturally!
457
00:32:19,104 --> 00:32:22,597
We're at the dinner table.
Mikael's reading the paper.
458
00:32:22,732 --> 00:32:24,689
I ask him to stop.
459
00:32:25,986 --> 00:32:29,070
He gets up, folds the paper,
460
00:32:29,197 --> 00:32:33,282
comes over to me and hits me
in the face with the paper.
461
00:32:33,452 --> 00:32:37,617
Then he puts on his coat and hat
and slams the front door.
462
00:32:38,165 --> 00:32:41,533
The next day I overhear
Anna and Mikael talking.
463
00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:44,786
Anna says she feels sorry
for her father.
464
00:32:45,005 --> 00:32:48,965
She understands
that he can't take it anymore.
465
00:32:49,092 --> 00:32:50,924
And so on...
466
00:32:52,095 --> 00:32:54,257
Poor Rakel.
467
00:33:01,188 --> 00:33:05,649
With me you can do what you like,
can't you?
468
00:33:07,110 --> 00:33:09,272
Anything you like.
469
00:33:10,322 --> 00:33:11,984
Isn't that so?
470
00:33:12,699 --> 00:33:15,237
That's what's risky about you.
471
00:33:16,328 --> 00:33:20,288
- I was the best, wasn't I?
- You were the best.
472
00:33:20,582 --> 00:33:22,995
For 26 years I was the best.
473
00:33:23,126 --> 00:33:25,243
You could still be if...
474
00:33:25,378 --> 00:33:27,495
Thanks! That's kind of you.
475
00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:31,040
- Can you tell I have false teeth?
- No.
476
00:33:32,177 --> 00:33:34,294
I'm decaying bit by bit.
477
00:33:35,222 --> 00:33:38,181
Even when I was 20,
playing Margareta...
478
00:33:38,308 --> 00:33:40,516
You remember the final scene?
479
00:33:42,187 --> 00:33:44,725
I already knew the score back then.
480
00:33:45,482 --> 00:33:47,223
The decay.
481
00:33:47,526 --> 00:33:50,109
It was there, already in place.
482
00:33:50,237 --> 00:33:51,978
Yes, it was.
483
00:33:52,113 --> 00:33:54,696
But it didn't show in those days.
484
00:33:57,702 --> 00:34:01,662
Do you remember we did
a radio show with folk music?
485
00:34:02,374 --> 00:34:05,208
We sang and played.
486
00:34:08,755 --> 00:34:11,122
Then came
The Crown Bride.
487
00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:14,383
That was you too.
488
00:34:16,388 --> 00:34:19,381
Why don't you want to sleep with me?
489
00:34:19,516 --> 00:34:22,054
I've had two glasses of wine.
490
00:34:22,227 --> 00:34:25,061
I'm not drunk, if that's what you think.
491
00:34:25,188 --> 00:34:27,180
I don't think anything.
492
00:34:30,610 --> 00:34:34,445
My thighs are as smooth
as a young girl's.
493
00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:39,742
My breasts! Look at them!
494
00:34:41,913 --> 00:34:44,280
What do you say?
495
00:34:48,753 --> 00:34:50,585
Henrik says nothing.
496
00:34:51,089 --> 00:34:53,752
Henrik is silent and watches.
497
00:34:54,467 --> 00:34:56,504
He can't make up his mind.
498
00:34:56,845 --> 00:35:00,805
Henrik is horny but ill at ease.
499
00:35:01,683 --> 00:35:04,767
He's not looking
at my thighs or my breasts.
500
00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:07,265
He's looking at my face.
501
00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:12,350
My face!
502
00:35:15,488 --> 00:35:18,105
Oh Christ!
503
00:35:22,412 --> 00:35:24,825
Why are you staying at the hospital?
504
00:35:25,915 --> 00:35:29,784
My kind doctor thinks it's best.
505
00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:31,952
During your binges?
506
00:35:32,547 --> 00:35:34,539
During my binges.
507
00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:36,749
And otherwise?
508
00:35:37,260 --> 00:35:38,842
Otherwise...
509
00:35:43,224 --> 00:35:46,968
I have a small apartment facing
the courtyard behind the theater.
510
00:35:47,354 --> 00:35:49,346
It's a beautiful courtyard
511
00:35:49,481 --> 00:35:52,724
with an old chestnut tree
right outside my window.
512
00:35:53,276 --> 00:35:57,771
In the summer the light in my room
is green like an aquarium.
513
00:36:06,331 --> 00:36:09,290
Let's go to my place.
Five minutes...
514
00:36:10,335 --> 00:36:12,327
I'm waiting for someone.
515
00:36:14,339 --> 00:36:15,830
I see.
516
00:36:24,140 --> 00:36:26,848
My doctor's very considerate.
517
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,222
We have long conversations.
518
00:36:29,854 --> 00:36:32,722
It's called "conversational therapy."
519
00:36:34,693 --> 00:36:36,776
He talks about himself,
520
00:36:36,986 --> 00:36:41,526
then he fucks me slowly,
his hands cold and sweaty.
521
00:36:41,658 --> 00:36:44,867
He's a dull, feeble little bastard.
522
00:36:45,453 --> 00:36:48,912
You say you're waiting for someone?
That's strange.
523
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,874
You've never waited for anyone.
524
00:36:52,961 --> 00:36:55,669
- Who is it?
- None of your business.
525
00:36:55,797 --> 00:36:57,504
You're right.
526
00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:04,133
My doctor calls Mikael,
527
00:37:04,264 --> 00:37:07,473
and my husband and my doctor
528
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,887
discuss Rakel and her condition,
529
00:37:10,103 --> 00:37:14,768
while Rakel lies on the floor
of her little white room and masturbates.
530
00:37:14,899 --> 00:37:19,439
Does it ever occur to you
that they both mean well?
531
00:37:19,821 --> 00:37:21,904
I'm absolutely positive
532
00:37:22,031 --> 00:37:24,899
that they're both
absolutely positive they mean well.
533
00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:27,238
Can't you get another doctor?
534
00:37:27,370 --> 00:37:29,407
What good would that do?
535
00:37:29,789 --> 00:37:31,906
I get the care I need.
536
00:37:32,375 --> 00:37:35,368
A white cubicle
has been placed at my disposal.
537
00:37:35,503 --> 00:37:38,211
There I can house
my screams, my prayers,
538
00:37:38,339 --> 00:37:41,002
my vomit, and my fear.
539
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:45,128
I am what's called "privileged,"
540
00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:49,014
and I'm infinitely grateful!
541
00:37:52,937 --> 00:37:55,680
Can I never play a major role again?
542
00:37:57,984 --> 00:38:00,271
Has the terror grown too great?
543
00:38:00,653 --> 00:38:02,815
Will the fear kill me?
544
00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:07,108
Do I have to throw up onstage,
have diarrhea, crap my pants?
545
00:38:07,368 --> 00:38:10,281
You know I keep a bucket in the wings?
546
00:38:10,413 --> 00:38:12,325
What can I do?
547
00:38:12,457 --> 00:38:15,291
Whether I'm working or "resting",
as they say...
548
00:38:16,211 --> 00:38:18,328
my fear is just the same.
549
00:38:19,589 --> 00:38:23,959
You think my instrument
has been ruined forever?
550
00:38:24,344 --> 00:38:26,586
In that case I must die.
551
00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:35,803
No, I'm talking nonsense.
I don't want to die.
552
00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:38,059
I'm afraid of death.
553
00:38:38,316 --> 00:38:41,980
I couldn't imagine
doing myself any real harm.
554
00:38:45,114 --> 00:38:49,324
Do you think my instrument is ruined?
555
00:38:49,661 --> 00:38:52,153
Not really.
556
00:38:55,416 --> 00:38:57,157
You idiot!
557
00:39:25,572 --> 00:39:30,067
I told them over and over,
"Don't do it. Don't do it!"
558
00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:32,901
It's a life crisis.
559
00:39:33,830 --> 00:39:36,038
I know it's a life crisis.
560
00:39:36,207 --> 00:39:38,699
I don't know what you're talking about.
561
00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:46,090
You see, Mikael and I were having
an ordinary argument.
562
00:39:46,718 --> 00:39:48,710
I knew he was lying.
563
00:39:48,845 --> 00:39:52,759
I tried to get him to tell the truth,
just that once.
564
00:39:52,891 --> 00:39:57,101
But he kept lying,
and he stuck to his lies.
565
00:39:57,228 --> 00:39:59,220
I know I behaved badly.
566
00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:02,981
I screamed and cried
and locked myself in the bathroom.
567
00:40:03,109 --> 00:40:04,941
I hit Anna.
568
00:40:05,445 --> 00:40:07,437
She started howling.
569
00:40:08,573 --> 00:40:12,908
I tried to console her,
but she broke away from me
570
00:40:13,036 --> 00:40:15,744
and ran to Mikael for protection.
571
00:40:16,372 --> 00:40:18,534
Then I hit her again!
572
00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:26,163
I'm sorry I did that.
573
00:40:26,674 --> 00:40:29,917
Every single day
I'm sorry I did that.
574
00:40:34,098 --> 00:40:38,263
Mikael called the police
and our friend the doctor.
575
00:40:39,687 --> 00:40:43,772
He arrived together with a locksmith,
576
00:40:44,108 --> 00:40:46,566
the police, and a psychiatric nurse.
577
00:40:46,945 --> 00:40:50,279
I only wanted Mikael to tell the truth,
578
00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:52,690
just that once.
579
00:40:52,825 --> 00:40:57,286
You know how I want the truth,
however repugnant it is.
580
00:40:57,455 --> 00:41:01,495
- People dislike your demands for truth.
- You were involved too.
581
00:41:01,626 --> 00:41:04,243
You said there was a risk of suicide,
582
00:41:04,379 --> 00:41:08,248
even though you knew
I had never hurt myself seriously!
583
00:41:08,383 --> 00:41:12,593
- Please stop provoking me.
- You and Mikael and Doctor Jacobi.
584
00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:15,303
Your conspiracy theory is unreal.
585
00:41:15,473 --> 00:41:19,342
One of you alone couldn't crush me.
Not even two of you.
586
00:41:19,477 --> 00:41:21,469
But three of you could!
587
00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:23,979
Rakel, why don't you go to hell
588
00:41:24,107 --> 00:41:26,099
where you belong?
589
00:41:26,317 --> 00:41:30,402
I never want to talk to you
or think of you again.
590
00:41:30,530 --> 00:41:32,988
I want nothing more
to do with you.
591
00:41:33,408 --> 00:41:36,116
I've obliterated you once and for all.
592
00:41:36,411 --> 00:41:38,243
You don't exist.
593
00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:49,671
We were your lovers.
594
00:41:50,174 --> 00:41:53,338
You raised us between your knees...
595
00:41:53,845 --> 00:41:58,010
then you rejected us
and moved on to new victims.
596
00:41:58,766 --> 00:42:02,601
You were already drinking
quite heavily when we met.
597
00:42:03,396 --> 00:42:06,685
You were so hard on me
when you were drunk!
598
00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:09,812
And so hard on yourself.
599
00:42:12,989 --> 00:42:14,901
Dear God...
600
00:42:15,366 --> 00:42:16,857
help me.
601
00:42:18,828 --> 00:42:23,289
Why can't you risk it with me?
You won't be disappointed.
602
00:42:23,416 --> 00:42:25,624
Rakel, I don't dare.
603
00:42:28,546 --> 00:42:31,414
What a silly answer!
604
00:42:32,133 --> 00:42:36,047
I'm a splendid instrument.
You've said so yourself.
605
00:42:36,345 --> 00:42:39,838
Through me you hear tones
you've never heard before.
606
00:42:39,974 --> 00:42:42,637
Isn't that worth a try?
607
00:42:44,479 --> 00:42:48,063
"My own mother's sister said,
in her blindness,
608
00:42:48,191 --> 00:42:52,151
that I, Dionysus,
was not the progeny of Zeus.
609
00:42:52,403 --> 00:42:55,066
That's why I plagued
the sisters with madness
610
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:57,606
and drove them
out of house and home.
611
00:42:57,742 --> 00:43:00,576
And I made the women
of the city of Cadmus
612
00:43:00,995 --> 00:43:04,454
carry the emblems of my mysteries.
613
00:43:04,957 --> 00:43:08,075
Now they have joined
the daughters of Cadmus,
614
00:43:08,252 --> 00:43:12,246
sitting roofless on the rocks
under the silver firs.
615
00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:16,254
This city, where my Bacchic revels
have never been heard,
616
00:43:16,385 --> 00:43:22,177
shall, willingly or not,
atone for the affront to my mother!"
617
00:43:49,210 --> 00:43:53,705
Does your own turmoil torment you so
that you can't bear the unpredictable?
618
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:57,754
- You're getting unbearably theatrical.
- You think so? Sorry.
619
00:43:57,969 --> 00:44:02,088
I hate turmoil, aggression,
and outbursts of emotion.
620
00:44:02,473 --> 00:44:06,217
I administrate,
distribute, and organize.
621
00:44:06,352 --> 00:44:09,891
I don't participate in the drama,
I give it material form.
622
00:44:10,022 --> 00:44:14,733
I hate all things spontaneous,
rash, and imprecise.
623
00:44:14,861 --> 00:44:17,353
I have no room for my own confusion
624
00:44:17,488 --> 00:44:20,231
except as a key to secrets of a script
625
00:44:20,366 --> 00:44:23,609
or as a stimulus for actors' creativity.
626
00:44:23,744 --> 00:44:27,408
My rehearsals are operations
in an operating room,
627
00:44:27,540 --> 00:44:32,626
where self-discipline, cleanliness,
light, and stillness prevail.
628
00:44:32,962 --> 00:44:37,002
That's the only way to approach
the infinite, the pain...
629
00:44:37,133 --> 00:44:38,749
and the darkness.
630
00:44:39,468 --> 00:44:42,051
The only way to solve the enigma
631
00:44:42,180 --> 00:44:44,388
and learn the mechanisms
of repetition.
632
00:44:44,807 --> 00:44:47,971
I manage scripts and working hours.
633
00:44:48,102 --> 00:44:52,437
It's my job to make sure
your work isn't meaningless.
634
00:44:52,565 --> 00:44:55,933
I'm not personal.
I observe, register, and control.
635
00:44:56,068 --> 00:45:00,438
I'm not impulsive or spontaneous.
I don't participate.
636
00:45:01,073 --> 00:45:03,156
It only looks that way.
637
00:45:04,744 --> 00:45:09,614
If I were to pull off my mask and show
my true feelings and thoughts,
638
00:45:09,749 --> 00:45:14,540
you'd rave at me, tear me to pieces,
and throw me out the window!
639
00:45:14,670 --> 00:45:16,411
You silly fool.
640
00:45:16,714 --> 00:45:19,377
Theater is shit, filth, and lechery.
641
00:45:19,550 --> 00:45:22,509
Turmoil, tangles, and trouble.
642
00:45:23,012 --> 00:45:26,551
I don't believe for a second
your theory about purity.
643
00:45:26,724 --> 00:45:28,932
It's suspect. Typical of you.
644
00:45:29,185 --> 00:45:31,393
How would it be if...
645
00:45:33,356 --> 00:45:37,726
Forget it. It's no use.
I don't know why I should...
646
00:45:37,902 --> 00:45:41,566
- Why not? I'm gullible enough.
- True.
647
00:45:41,697 --> 00:45:44,735
All the lies I've swallowed
over the years!
648
00:45:44,909 --> 00:45:48,653
Luckily I'm not just gullible.
My memory's bad too!
649
00:45:48,788 --> 00:45:50,370
That's good.
650
00:45:51,332 --> 00:45:53,244
Why are you so bored?
651
00:45:53,376 --> 00:45:55,288
I'm not bored.
652
00:45:55,419 --> 00:45:58,253
I'm just wondering
how many victims line...
653
00:46:00,258 --> 00:46:04,923
Here I am in my beloved theater.
654
00:46:05,346 --> 00:46:07,212
I'm 46 years old,
655
00:46:07,348 --> 00:46:10,466
and my ex-lover,
out of sheer pity, has given me...
656
00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:14,436
Christ, look at her improvising
and showing off!
657
00:46:14,981 --> 00:46:18,691
A talented woman
making herself insufferable.
658
00:46:20,278 --> 00:46:24,363
But I know exactly where
all this hamming it up will end.
659
00:46:24,991 --> 00:46:28,200
Soon she'll be struck
by the moment of truth.
660
00:46:29,203 --> 00:46:31,991
The brief but terrible insight.
661
00:46:33,165 --> 00:46:34,906
The breakdown.
662
00:46:40,089 --> 00:46:42,046
...my face.
663
00:46:46,137 --> 00:46:48,595
I stink like rotten fish.
664
00:46:48,973 --> 00:46:53,308
My skin gives off a moistness
that smells of decay.
665
00:46:53,728 --> 00:46:55,890
Makeup won't stick.
666
00:46:56,022 --> 00:46:58,981
It gathers in the crevices
in thick lumps.
667
00:47:01,652 --> 00:47:04,360
I try to keep my nails clean,
668
00:47:04,488 --> 00:47:06,821
but they crack and turn black.
669
00:47:07,450 --> 00:47:10,067
I breathe decay.
670
00:47:10,202 --> 00:47:12,660
You think I don't know that?
671
00:47:13,831 --> 00:47:18,075
And you speak
of the victims lining my path!
672
00:47:18,210 --> 00:47:20,577
Christ Almighty!
673
00:47:20,713 --> 00:47:22,875
It was a compliment!
674
00:47:23,049 --> 00:47:24,711
A compliment?
675
00:47:24,842 --> 00:47:27,380
Oh! I'm sorry!
676
00:47:30,431 --> 00:47:33,219
I know how you hate when I cry...
677
00:47:34,977 --> 00:47:39,768
or when I blow my nose
on a dirty handkerchief.
678
00:47:39,899 --> 00:47:44,109
But I got oil on my fingers,
and it's the only one I have!
679
00:47:44,236 --> 00:47:46,694
I don't wish you any harm.
680
00:47:47,031 --> 00:47:49,023
You hear me?
681
00:47:51,952 --> 00:47:54,740
Let's do a comedy together.
682
00:47:55,039 --> 00:47:57,531
Molière! I'd make a good Dorine.
683
00:47:57,708 --> 00:47:59,995
She needn't be that young.
684
00:48:00,127 --> 00:48:04,542
The French always make her
an old harpy. That's wrong.
685
00:48:04,673 --> 00:48:08,883
She's supposed to have
a lot of cleavage, and I do...
686
00:48:09,053 --> 00:48:12,546
- I've had no luck with
Tartuffe.
- Then you should try again.
687
00:48:12,681 --> 00:48:15,389
Besides, it's a boring play.
688
00:48:15,559 --> 00:48:17,516
I've always thought so.
689
00:48:18,854 --> 00:48:21,767
- Then I guess it's not a good idea.
- No.
690
00:48:22,525 --> 00:48:24,312
I'll go now.
691
00:48:25,236 --> 00:48:26,602
Stay if you like.
692
00:48:26,904 --> 00:48:29,521
- No, I'm disturbing you.
- Not at all.
693
00:48:29,657 --> 00:48:32,195
Besides, you're waiting for someone.
694
00:48:32,326 --> 00:48:34,534
I only said that.
695
00:48:34,662 --> 00:48:38,030
You're not happy I came to see you.
696
00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:40,532
Rakel...
697
00:48:43,254 --> 00:48:45,416
You never believe what I say...
698
00:48:46,173 --> 00:48:48,165
but try to believe this:
699
00:48:49,718 --> 00:48:53,428
Not a day goes by
that I don't think of you.
700
00:48:53,973 --> 00:48:56,886
Every night before
the sleeping pill knocks me out...
701
00:48:57,017 --> 00:48:58,758
I think of you.
702
00:49:00,020 --> 00:49:02,262
You're always in my thoughts.
703
00:49:02,815 --> 00:49:04,898
That's how it is.
704
00:49:05,901 --> 00:49:09,611
- It's kind of you to say so.
- No, it's the truth.
705
00:49:09,780 --> 00:49:12,147
It's kind of you to tell me.
706
00:49:15,494 --> 00:49:19,158
Go tidy up at your place.
I'll be there in an hour.
707
00:49:19,290 --> 00:49:22,374
You're only saying that to get rid of me.
708
00:49:22,710 --> 00:49:24,451
I'll go.
709
00:49:31,844 --> 00:49:33,551
I'll be off now.
710
00:49:41,187 --> 00:49:44,897
Shall I fix us a nice dinner
like I used to?
711
00:49:45,024 --> 00:49:47,357
Don't trouble yourself
on my account.
712
00:49:47,818 --> 00:49:51,311
That's Henrik Vogler.
"Don't trouble yourself on my account."
713
00:49:51,489 --> 00:49:54,402
Don't trouble yourself
on my account!
714
00:49:54,575 --> 00:49:56,487
Don't be mad, Henrik.
715
00:49:56,660 --> 00:49:59,824
I'm just joking.
Or is that forbidden?
716
00:49:59,997 --> 00:50:01,989
You win, as usual.
717
00:50:06,045 --> 00:50:10,039
When you come
I'll be newly bathed, fragrant...
718
00:50:10,299 --> 00:50:12,165
and sober.
719
00:50:15,054 --> 00:50:18,764
The deep waters
of unconsciousness!
720
00:50:24,063 --> 00:50:26,350
Henrik, my dear friend...
721
00:50:27,483 --> 00:50:32,228
you think I'd have been happier
if I'd learned to be cynical?
722
00:50:32,863 --> 00:50:35,776
Go on, now.
I'll be there for sure.
723
00:50:37,076 --> 00:50:38,658
Rakel!
724
00:50:40,871 --> 00:50:44,535
It's the same old story:
I run after her, calling her name.
725
00:50:46,418 --> 00:50:49,252
Then comes the lies,
the futile reconciliation,
726
00:50:49,380 --> 00:50:53,875
the guilty conscience,
the fear, the muttered curses...
727
00:50:54,134 --> 00:50:56,126
and then the sympathy.
728
00:50:56,554 --> 00:50:58,546
Always the same.
729
00:52:00,159 --> 00:52:03,402
I never gave any thought
to Mom's childishness.
730
00:52:06,832 --> 00:52:10,872
Last Thursday you said
I'm childish for my age. It's true.
731
00:52:11,128 --> 00:52:13,120
I am childish...
732
00:52:13,297 --> 00:52:15,710
at times to the point
of embarrassment.
733
00:52:15,841 --> 00:52:19,300
Gullible, careless, and naive.
734
00:52:19,428 --> 00:52:22,296
Childishness is widespread
in our profession.
735
00:52:22,473 --> 00:52:25,011
How else would it be possible?
736
00:52:25,142 --> 00:52:28,556
I'm amazed people take us
seriously at all.
737
00:52:28,687 --> 00:52:31,225
They build us big beautiful houses
738
00:52:31,357 --> 00:52:33,895
where we can play our games.
739
00:52:34,026 --> 00:52:35,983
Nurture your childishness.
740
00:52:36,153 --> 00:52:39,863
It's a good filter
against consciousness.
741
00:52:39,990 --> 00:52:42,903
When my passions flare up,
I'm not conscious.
742
00:52:43,035 --> 00:52:45,152
- Do you get jealous?
- A normal amount.
743
00:52:45,287 --> 00:52:47,370
I see.
744
00:52:47,498 --> 00:52:50,832
- And yourself?
- Far from normal.
745
00:52:53,253 --> 00:52:56,872
You look at me as if about to say
something astonishing...
746
00:52:57,007 --> 00:52:58,669
and I think...
747
00:52:58,801 --> 00:53:02,294
"Is this how Uncle Henrik flirts
with young women?"
748
00:53:02,429 --> 00:53:05,968
- That wasn't very nice.
- No, I'm delighted.
749
00:53:06,100 --> 00:53:07,841
Is that so?
750
00:53:08,352 --> 00:53:11,060
I ruined what you were about to say.
751
00:53:11,188 --> 00:53:13,680
I'm fond of you.
752
00:53:14,525 --> 00:53:16,812
In love, if you like.
753
00:53:16,944 --> 00:53:21,860
I'm happy you're sitting next to me
here on the Hedda Gabler sofa,
754
00:53:22,199 --> 00:53:24,907
that I can touch you with my hand.
755
00:53:25,786 --> 00:53:29,200
Happy we'll be working together
for five weeks,
756
00:53:29,331 --> 00:53:32,165
that you're tied to me professionally,
757
00:53:32,292 --> 00:53:34,534
and therefore emotionally.
758
00:53:35,713 --> 00:53:39,252
I'm in love with you
because you're young and beautiful.
759
00:53:40,384 --> 00:53:44,253
Because you're an exceptionally
endowed human being.
760
00:53:46,348 --> 00:53:50,388
And because you're a good actress.
- That was beautiful.
761
00:53:50,519 --> 00:53:54,229
Of course I'm jealous!
It goes with the territory.
762
00:53:54,356 --> 00:53:58,396
I know you're living
with that flabby assistant director,
763
00:53:58,527 --> 00:54:01,110
Johan something or other.
764
00:54:01,238 --> 00:54:05,232
Not only is he exceptionally rude,
he has no talent to boot,
765
00:54:05,367 --> 00:54:08,781
at least judging
by his Brecht play upstairs.
766
00:54:08,912 --> 00:54:14,374
The fact he gets to sleep with you
can only be a triumph for mediocrity!
767
00:54:14,501 --> 00:54:18,745
But perhaps he has qualities
hidden from the world.
768
00:54:20,382 --> 00:54:25,377
What does your dad think?
- He thinks Johan is nice.
769
00:54:25,512 --> 00:54:29,973
You sure he wasn't being ironic?
"Johan's a really nice boy!"
770
00:54:30,100 --> 00:54:32,717
We're expecting a child.
771
00:54:37,441 --> 00:54:39,103
I knew it.
772
00:54:39,985 --> 00:54:42,944
- What month? Your second?
- Third.
773
00:54:45,449 --> 00:54:48,408
- I knew it. It's ridiculous.
- What's ridiculous?
774
00:54:48,535 --> 00:54:51,778
You'll be five months' pregnant
by opening night.
775
00:54:51,955 --> 00:54:54,789
How long can you perform?
Two weeks?
776
00:54:55,167 --> 00:54:58,126
There goes all my work!
Pardon my anger, but...
777
00:54:58,253 --> 00:55:00,666
You're not so glad
to be working together now!
778
00:55:00,798 --> 00:55:02,585
I don't get it.
779
00:55:02,966 --> 00:55:07,301
A young, aspiring actress
is offered the part of a lifetime.
780
00:55:07,638 --> 00:55:10,381
It's a decisive moment in her career.
781
00:55:10,516 --> 00:55:14,510
She's known for over a year
that she'll be doing it right now.
782
00:55:14,645 --> 00:55:17,763
And she gets pregnant!
I just don't get it.
783
00:55:17,898 --> 00:55:21,266
Just fell out of love with me, didn't you?
784
00:55:24,279 --> 00:55:26,896
No. On the contrary.
785
00:55:29,076 --> 00:55:31,068
What do you mean?
786
00:55:31,703 --> 00:55:35,663
Directing
A Dream Play
with you as Agnes is wonderful.
787
00:55:37,209 --> 00:55:41,123
The fact it will run
just two weeks is even better.
788
00:55:42,005 --> 00:55:44,748
"There was no play.
There was a baby."
789
00:55:46,343 --> 00:55:49,427
It's fantastic, the more I think about it.
790
00:55:50,806 --> 00:55:55,301
Though I'm even more pissed off
with that assistant director you're with.
791
00:55:55,435 --> 00:55:58,223
What a triumph for him
to sabotage my
Dream Play!
792
00:55:58,355 --> 00:56:01,689
Perhaps you'd like me
to have an abortion?
793
00:56:05,028 --> 00:56:06,519
No.
794
00:56:09,199 --> 00:56:12,692
Not for the theater. It's not worth it.
- But you said...
795
00:56:12,828 --> 00:56:17,038
Forget that! That was the old
theater man in me speaking.
796
00:56:17,165 --> 00:56:20,249
He wants his efforts to be worthwhile.
797
00:56:20,544 --> 00:56:23,958
Forget about him.
I'm fed up with him myself.
798
00:56:24,715 --> 00:56:27,298
I'll go see the manager tomorrow.
799
00:56:28,260 --> 00:56:30,593
- And give up the part?
- Yes.
800
00:56:31,221 --> 00:56:34,089
- Who'll take your place?
- Use Karin or...
801
00:56:34,224 --> 00:56:36,216
There's no one I want!
802
00:56:39,897 --> 00:56:42,810
You were the whole point
of the production...
803
00:56:42,941 --> 00:56:45,058
I've said what I came to say.
804
00:56:45,527 --> 00:56:49,737
- What about your bracelet?
- That was just a sorry excuse.
805
00:57:03,587 --> 00:57:05,169
Anna...
806
00:57:17,726 --> 00:57:19,934
Don't give up the part.
807
00:57:20,103 --> 00:57:23,813
How would I put up
with all your aggression?
808
00:57:24,107 --> 00:57:25,939
There won't be any baby.
809
00:57:26,777 --> 00:57:30,191
- You already had an abortion?
- Last week.
810
00:57:30,322 --> 00:57:33,110
- You got rid of it?
- I want my part!
811
00:57:38,288 --> 00:57:39,904
I see.
812
00:57:46,630 --> 00:57:50,749
My relationship with Johan
is essentially over!
813
00:57:52,094 --> 00:57:54,131
Why say you were pregnant?
814
00:57:56,848 --> 00:57:59,090
It just came over me.
815
00:57:59,476 --> 00:58:02,969
I see.
You wanted to see my reaction.
816
00:58:03,105 --> 00:58:05,939
Maybe I wanted
to see you lose face.
817
00:58:06,066 --> 00:58:08,149
And I did.
818
00:58:08,276 --> 00:58:11,314
Your little joke paid off.
819
00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:16,191
I'm wiping away that sad face.
820
00:58:27,212 --> 00:58:29,499
You remind me
of your mother sometimes.
821
00:58:29,673 --> 00:58:31,960
I'm sorry I made you unhappy.
822
00:58:32,175 --> 00:58:34,838
I don't like
when you put on an act.
823
00:58:35,012 --> 00:58:39,177
Do you never read people wrong?
I wasn't putting on an act.
824
00:58:39,307 --> 00:58:42,471
You caressed me
when you felt like slapping me.
825
00:58:42,602 --> 00:58:45,891
- Absolutely not true!
- You're so like your mother.
826
00:58:46,189 --> 00:58:51,856
If you say I'm like my mother
once more, I'm leaving!
827
00:58:52,029 --> 00:58:55,147
You really are
very much like your mother.
828
00:58:56,742 --> 00:58:59,985
- I have a surprise for you.
- Now I'm curious!
829
00:59:00,328 --> 00:59:03,571
- Johan admires you. Surprised?
- Yes.
830
00:59:03,707 --> 00:59:06,950
He hoped to be
your assistant on this play.
831
00:59:07,085 --> 00:59:09,543
He was crushed
when you chose Eva.
832
00:59:10,672 --> 00:59:13,005
"Only Henrik can teach me anything."
833
00:59:13,133 --> 00:59:16,877
He was happy I'd be working with you.
Happy and jealous.
834
00:59:17,054 --> 00:59:19,717
- Then you got pregnant.
- I wanted the child.
835
00:59:19,931 --> 00:59:22,969
He's the one
who persuaded me to abort.
836
00:59:23,226 --> 00:59:26,560
Now I've surprised you twice!
- Indeed.
837
00:59:27,939 --> 00:59:29,931
I wanted the child...
838
00:59:30,442 --> 00:59:32,729
even though it wasn't Johan's...
839
00:59:32,903 --> 00:59:36,271
even though I wouldn't be
in your production.
840
00:59:37,324 --> 00:59:40,658
I was afraid
I'd never have another child.
841
00:59:48,210 --> 00:59:50,202
But Johan persuaded me.
842
00:59:51,546 --> 00:59:53,208
So here I am.
843
00:59:57,302 --> 00:59:59,089
In your hands.
844
01:00:02,599 --> 01:00:04,932
And I in yours.
845
01:00:11,066 --> 01:00:13,604
I've lived alone for eight years.
846
01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:18,279
An older lady comes
for three hours a day.
847
01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:21,650
She cleans, cooks,
washes up, and leaves.
848
01:00:22,327 --> 01:00:24,319
I have a few friends.
849
01:00:24,621 --> 01:00:26,988
We discuss politics and play chess.
850
01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:31,288
My wife visits when she feels like it.
851
01:00:31,461 --> 01:00:35,250
We spend the night together.
We're quite fond of each other.
852
01:00:35,382 --> 01:00:38,375
I'll only come when you call me.
853
01:00:44,141 --> 01:00:48,181
A cynical psychologist has said
that the temperature of a love
854
01:00:48,311 --> 01:00:51,099
can only be measured
by the loneliness that precedes it.
855
01:00:51,231 --> 01:00:53,314
I had different plans.
856
01:00:53,817 --> 01:00:55,854
We'd have our work...
857
01:00:56,194 --> 01:00:57,981
rehearsals...
858
01:00:58,488 --> 01:01:00,775
the hours onstage.
859
01:01:00,907 --> 01:01:04,321
A Dream Play and us.
- Sorry I've ruined your plans.
860
01:01:04,452 --> 01:01:06,660
I'd give you my experience.
861
01:01:06,830 --> 01:01:08,412
It's all yours!
862
01:01:10,333 --> 01:01:12,541
I give you identification,
863
01:01:12,669 --> 01:01:15,002
care, and tenderness...
864
01:01:15,338 --> 01:01:17,671
from 10:30 to 3:00.
865
01:01:18,216 --> 01:01:21,004
I make sure the audience loves you
866
01:01:21,219 --> 01:01:23,302
and that you're beautifully lit.
867
01:01:23,930 --> 01:01:28,174
I protect you from yourself
and make sure you don't fall.
868
01:01:29,019 --> 01:01:30,976
From 10:30 to 3:00.
869
01:01:31,188 --> 01:01:33,180
No, don't touch me.
870
01:01:33,690 --> 01:01:35,807
I'm of no interest to you...
871
01:01:36,234 --> 01:01:38,066
a closed chapter.
872
01:01:38,528 --> 01:01:41,487
A closed chapter, nearly played out.
873
01:01:42,073 --> 01:01:44,690
That's not posturing on my part.
874
01:01:46,203 --> 01:01:48,069
I refuse...
875
01:01:48,538 --> 01:01:50,996
to play a part in your drama.
876
01:01:51,124 --> 01:01:53,366
It could only be ridiculous
and humiliating.
877
01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:57,203
I don't mean for you, of course.
878
01:01:58,798 --> 01:02:02,508
What did you have in mind?
A drama of passion?
879
01:02:03,136 --> 01:02:04,798
An affair?
880
01:02:05,096 --> 01:02:08,840
Or perhaps just a bit of overtime acting?
881
01:02:09,726 --> 01:02:14,312
You already have
an extremely competent father.
882
01:02:15,065 --> 01:02:17,773
Surely you don't need another.
883
01:02:23,615 --> 01:02:27,154
Just before rehearsals began,
I lost a front tooth.
884
01:02:27,285 --> 01:02:29,117
I was frantic.
885
01:02:29,579 --> 01:02:34,574
"Am I to appear before Anna Egerman
with a gap in my front teeth?
886
01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:38,540
She won't listen to me.
She'll find me repulsive."
887
01:02:39,005 --> 01:02:43,420
A good dentist took pity on me
and worked a miracle.
888
01:02:43,635 --> 01:02:46,548
I had my authority back,
and a new tooth.
889
01:02:48,431 --> 01:02:53,392
In my predicament you always look
for something repulsive in the other,
890
01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:58,436
something trivial you can magnify
and cherish and use.
891
01:02:59,943 --> 01:03:02,651
I've found nothing of the kind in you.
892
01:03:03,780 --> 01:03:05,942
I'm utterly vulnerable.
893
01:03:22,632 --> 01:03:25,625
I keep telling myself
you're like your mother,
894
01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:27,877
that I must be on my guard.
895
01:03:28,013 --> 01:03:30,801
I think you can be
cruel and ruthless.
896
01:03:30,932 --> 01:03:32,889
You lie cunningly...
897
01:03:33,018 --> 01:03:35,977
not to gain advantage
but to manipulate.
898
01:03:36,104 --> 01:03:39,393
I believe you've worked me
into your plans.
899
01:03:39,524 --> 01:03:43,484
Perhaps our affair would stimulate
your failing relationship.
900
01:03:44,154 --> 01:03:46,817
But what do I know?
Maybe I'm unfair.
901
01:03:47,032 --> 01:03:51,242
- Then there's nothing more to add.
- You could say I'm wrong!
902
01:03:51,369 --> 01:03:53,952
How could I ever convince you?
903
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:56,322
Don't take it so seriously!
904
01:03:56,499 --> 01:03:59,537
Only theater critics believe
in an objective truth,
905
01:03:59,669 --> 01:04:02,377
while they coyly argue the opposite.
906
01:04:02,505 --> 01:04:05,248
- Put your hand on my breast.
- No!
907
01:04:09,387 --> 01:04:12,346
Now there are no excuses.
908
01:04:12,682 --> 01:04:14,844
A comic fiasco.
909
01:04:15,435 --> 01:04:17,518
A pitiful retreat.
910
01:04:18,021 --> 01:04:19,978
A ridiculous situation.
911
01:04:20,106 --> 01:04:22,348
If I were ten years younger...
912
01:04:22,484 --> 01:04:27,445
That's how it goes, my dear Ariel.
That's how it goes.
913
01:04:27,572 --> 01:04:30,656
- You don't put up much of a defense.
- It's true.
914
01:04:30,784 --> 01:04:33,197
If I were ten years younger...
915
01:04:33,328 --> 01:04:37,743
So after a week we start
talking after rehearsals.
916
01:04:37,874 --> 01:04:40,833
We have to discuss your part, right?
917
01:04:41,044 --> 01:04:43,661
We go to the canteen for a coffee,
918
01:04:43,797 --> 01:04:46,289
bringing a colleague along as an alibi.
919
01:04:47,342 --> 01:04:49,709
Then we start meeting in my room.
920
01:04:49,886 --> 01:04:51,752
We sit far apart
921
01:04:51,888 --> 01:04:54,676
and drink mineral water
and nibble on biscuits.
922
01:04:54,808 --> 01:04:57,721
When you leave, we kiss on the mouth.
923
01:04:58,395 --> 01:05:01,604
One day we discuss
your messy relationship.
924
01:05:01,731 --> 01:05:03,814
You sell Johan to me,
925
01:05:03,942 --> 01:05:06,901
and I willingly buy your version of him.
926
01:05:07,028 --> 01:05:10,146
A few days later
you show up at rehearsal,
927
01:05:10,281 --> 01:05:12,739
eyes red from crying.
928
01:05:13,076 --> 01:05:15,910
When I ask,
you just shake your head.
929
01:05:16,079 --> 01:05:18,867
That day we work wonderfully together.
930
01:05:18,998 --> 01:05:22,992
I ask you if you'll have dinner
with me that night.
931
01:05:23,128 --> 01:05:26,667
You look at me
in sad earnestness and nod.
932
01:05:27,090 --> 01:05:29,082
- When you show up...
- I'm late.
933
01:05:29,259 --> 01:05:32,252
Johan and I argued
about my dining with you.
934
01:05:32,387 --> 01:05:35,755
We eat and drink
and talk about you all evening.
935
01:05:35,890 --> 01:05:38,633
At 11:00 I give you a ride home.
936
01:05:38,810 --> 01:05:42,269
Our relationship is sweet
and full of promise.
937
01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:45,393
I kiss your cheek.
"Take care," I say.
938
01:05:46,401 --> 01:05:49,235
You look at me
with an inscrutable smile
939
01:05:49,362 --> 01:05:51,900
and slowly shake your head.
940
01:05:52,031 --> 01:05:56,526
Your eyes, your beautiful eyes,
fill with tears...
941
01:05:56,828 --> 01:05:59,992
and you walk off without a word.
942
01:06:00,373 --> 01:06:05,289
A few nights later we go to bed
for the first time, mostly for fun.
943
01:06:05,462 --> 01:06:07,829
It's an experiment, just to see.
944
01:06:08,131 --> 01:06:10,589
The experience leaves behind
945
01:06:10,842 --> 01:06:15,007
a sweet, exciting feeling
of unfulfilled desire.
946
01:06:15,763 --> 01:06:18,380
It's an encounter
that provokes curiosity.
947
01:06:18,516 --> 01:06:21,850
Everyone knows,
but no one says anything.
948
01:06:22,353 --> 01:06:24,640
Johan slinks around,
949
01:06:24,814 --> 01:06:27,807
courted by sympathetic
female drama students.
950
01:06:27,942 --> 01:06:30,559
There's a general atmosphere
of euphoria,
951
01:06:30,695 --> 01:06:34,655
occasionally interrupted by violent
but harmless thunderstorms.
952
01:06:35,158 --> 01:06:39,619
With four weeks of rehearsal left,
the crisis occurs.
953
01:06:39,746 --> 01:06:41,658
- What crisis?
- I'll tell you.
954
01:06:44,125 --> 01:06:48,665
One day during rehearsal
you and I have an argument.
955
01:06:49,339 --> 01:06:51,422
About what? Something trivial?
956
01:06:51,674 --> 01:06:55,543
I've gotten stuck four days
in a row at the same spot.
957
01:06:55,678 --> 01:07:00,264
I feel particularly weak there.
You get annoyed and say...
958
01:07:00,391 --> 01:07:04,101
Maybe you should take the time
to study that passage.
959
01:07:04,229 --> 01:07:08,644
- It's no use. I don't understand it.
- I've explained it many times...
960
01:07:08,775 --> 01:07:12,109
Maybe I'm stupid,
but you make it even more obscure.
961
01:07:12,237 --> 01:07:16,982
Then memorize the text and say it aloud
so the audience can hear you.
962
01:07:17,116 --> 01:07:19,403
- Thanks!
- It's an effective method
963
01:07:19,536 --> 01:07:21,573
when someone insists
on not understanding!
964
01:07:21,704 --> 01:07:24,162
- You think I'm being obstinate!
- I think nothing.
965
01:07:24,290 --> 01:07:26,498
When we meet at the hotel later...
966
01:07:26,626 --> 01:07:28,618
you apologize.
967
01:07:29,170 --> 01:07:31,583
You're wonderful and loving...
968
01:07:31,714 --> 01:07:33,671
Just the opposite.
969
01:07:34,217 --> 01:07:38,336
My suppressed jealousy erupts
in an unbearable scene.
970
01:07:38,471 --> 01:07:42,590
I say all the idiotic things
I'd sworn never to say again...
971
01:07:42,725 --> 01:07:45,433
But it turns out
I'm even more jealous.
972
01:07:45,562 --> 01:07:49,397
I fume about your beautiful,
tolerant, and charming wife
973
01:07:49,566 --> 01:07:51,398
who has just visited.
974
01:07:51,526 --> 01:07:55,236
You're at a loss for words!
- Shows how little you know me.
975
01:07:55,405 --> 01:07:57,567
Far from being at a loss,
976
01:07:57,740 --> 01:08:00,574
I offer to end our affair on the spot.
977
01:08:00,910 --> 01:08:04,153
I say I'm too old
for your childish bickering
978
01:08:04,289 --> 01:08:07,999
and proceed to wrap myself
in a melancholy silence.
979
01:08:08,167 --> 01:08:11,535
You become insecure
and falter in your exit.
980
01:08:11,796 --> 01:08:15,460
For the first time you see
that I'm old and bleary-eyed...
981
01:08:16,134 --> 01:08:17,796
and a bit silly.
982
01:08:18,052 --> 01:08:22,262
You have the knife poised for the kill
but you check yourself.
983
01:08:22,390 --> 01:08:24,256
Yes, Henrik!
984
01:08:24,642 --> 01:08:29,603
I'm suddenly moved,
seized by maternal feelings.
985
01:08:29,772 --> 01:08:32,515
You're not seized
by any maternal feelings!
986
01:08:33,192 --> 01:08:35,354
You're thinking of your role.
987
01:08:35,695 --> 01:08:40,486
"What happens if we break up?
Will he take it out on me?
988
01:08:40,783 --> 01:08:43,446
My colleagues will revel in it."
989
01:08:43,578 --> 01:08:46,912
You won't give them the satisfaction.
990
01:08:47,290 --> 01:08:50,658
"No, first opening night,
then I'll break it off.
991
01:08:50,918 --> 01:08:52,955
That's how it'll be."
992
01:08:53,087 --> 01:08:56,421
You lower the lethal dagger
and begin to cry.
993
01:08:57,467 --> 01:09:00,460
I misconstrue your tears
and try to console you.
994
01:09:00,678 --> 01:09:03,386
We make love,
an illusory reconciliation.
995
01:09:03,514 --> 01:09:05,551
Now you're being nasty!
996
01:09:05,683 --> 01:09:07,595
The last week is harrowing.
997
01:09:07,727 --> 01:09:10,811
Each seeks to deflect the blame
in desperate monologues,
998
01:09:10,938 --> 01:09:13,021
neither listening to the other.
999
01:09:13,149 --> 01:09:15,186
The temperature rises.
1000
01:09:15,318 --> 01:09:19,312
Dress rehearsal:
lighting, costumes, makeup.
1001
01:09:19,489 --> 01:09:21,902
I feel miserable and inadequate.
1002
01:09:22,367 --> 01:09:26,202
I'd wanted to be the Indra's Daughter
you'd never forget,
1003
01:09:26,579 --> 01:09:30,664
who'd make it impossible for you
ever to do another
Dream Play.
1004
01:09:31,918 --> 01:09:36,834
You're already planning a new
production with another lead. Right?
1005
01:09:36,964 --> 01:09:39,251
- You never know.
- See?
1006
01:09:39,801 --> 01:09:41,542
I cry a lot.
1007
01:09:42,011 --> 01:09:46,756
You're kind and considerate,
treating me as if I were fatally ill.
1008
01:09:47,183 --> 01:09:50,267
But you're pulling away.
- I'm separating from the production.
1009
01:09:50,395 --> 01:09:53,058
It's the same agony every time.
1010
01:09:53,189 --> 01:09:55,146
And I'm separating from you.
1011
01:09:55,274 --> 01:09:57,641
Then comes our last night together,
1012
01:09:57,777 --> 01:10:00,190
after the dress rehearsal.
1013
01:10:01,030 --> 01:10:05,525
We drink some wine
and get drunk with emotion.
1014
01:10:05,868 --> 01:10:07,951
We talk about the future,
1015
01:10:08,079 --> 01:10:10,992
other plans, other collaborations.
1016
01:10:11,124 --> 01:10:14,993
- Maybe even getting married.
- And having kids.
1017
01:10:15,336 --> 01:10:17,874
We point to various
long-lasting marriages.
1018
01:10:18,548 --> 01:10:22,167
It's all quite sad... and quite over.
1019
01:10:22,593 --> 01:10:26,257
And we're both
painfully aware of the fact.
1020
01:10:31,602 --> 01:10:34,891
- And when we meet later?
- It's all quite amicable.
1021
01:10:35,189 --> 01:10:37,647
Johan's included too.
1022
01:10:38,109 --> 01:10:42,570
We all have dinner together
and lament the dismal state of theater!
1023
01:10:48,953 --> 01:10:51,491
That's how it would be.
1024
01:10:53,291 --> 01:10:55,283
Was that so absurd?
1025
01:10:58,921 --> 01:11:00,378
No.
1026
01:11:02,467 --> 01:11:04,333
No, not really.
1027
01:11:26,783 --> 01:11:29,400
Our conversation made me sad.
1028
01:11:30,286 --> 01:11:31,447
Did it?
1029
01:11:31,746 --> 01:11:33,829
You're not looking at me.
1030
01:11:34,540 --> 01:11:36,281
Look at me.
1031
01:11:37,668 --> 01:11:39,455
I'm looking at you.
1032
01:11:39,629 --> 01:11:44,294
Shit! I forgot my 4:30 rehearsal
at the radio station!
1033
01:11:44,467 --> 01:11:45,958
Blame me.
1034
01:11:46,135 --> 01:11:49,924
Tell them that damn Vogler kept you.
They'll feel sorry for you.
1035
01:11:50,056 --> 01:11:53,345
- I'll call and say I'm on my way.
- Do that.
1036
01:11:55,353 --> 01:11:57,310
I'll stay a bit.
1037
01:11:58,022 --> 01:12:00,139
You hear the church bells?
1038
01:12:00,650 --> 01:12:02,061
No.
1039
01:12:02,735 --> 01:12:06,649
My hearing's starting to go.
You haven't noticed in rehearsal?
1040
01:12:06,823 --> 01:12:09,657
Maybe a little. No, not really.
1041
01:12:09,867 --> 01:12:11,449
Go make your call.
1042
01:12:14,664 --> 01:12:16,997
I don't want you to be sad.
1043
01:12:17,124 --> 01:12:19,832
My sadness has nothing
to do with you.
1044
01:12:19,961 --> 01:12:21,918
- You're sure?
- I'm sure.
1045
01:12:22,129 --> 01:12:24,166
I'll go call...
1046
01:12:24,507 --> 01:12:27,341
though it feels incredibly awkward.
1047
01:12:28,010 --> 01:12:31,845
What worried me the most
at that moment
1048
01:12:31,973 --> 01:12:35,182
was that I couldn't hear
the church bells.
1049
01:12:36,305 --> 01:12:42,357
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