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1
00:00:12,309 --> 00:00:13,609
[ sighs ] Okay, that's it.
2
00:00:13,643 --> 00:00:15,778
I get to pick
the next 5 movies.
3
00:00:15,812 --> 00:00:17,680
What? It was great!
4
00:00:17,714 --> 00:00:19,315
Yeah, a kid
gets sliced in half
5
00:00:19,349 --> 00:00:21,550
by a surfboard.
6
00:00:21,585 --> 00:00:23,919
There's a feel-good moment.
7
00:00:23,954 --> 00:00:26,122
It was called
Slaughter Beach.
8
00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:27,623
What were you expecting?
9
00:00:27,657 --> 00:00:29,325
Come on,
you gotta admit
10
00:00:29,359 --> 00:00:32,228
that killer was pretty
freakin' scary, huh?
11
00:00:32,262 --> 00:00:33,762
[ lowers voice ]
Surf's up.
12
00:00:33,797 --> 00:00:35,231
Don't do that!
13
00:00:35,265 --> 00:00:36,332
Why? Does it
freak you out
14
00:00:36,366 --> 00:00:38,300
when I say
[ lowers voice ] surf's up.
15
00:00:38,335 --> 00:00:40,035
- Stop it!
- Stop what?
16
00:00:40,070 --> 00:00:41,103
That voice!
17
00:00:41,138 --> 00:00:44,907
What voice? This is
just the way I talk.
18
00:00:44,941 --> 00:00:47,143
Would you like
an English muffin?
19
00:00:47,177 --> 00:00:48,777
Come on!
I mean it, stop it!
20
00:00:48,812 --> 00:00:50,146
You know these movies
give me nightmares.
21
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:51,714
Here,
take the garbage out.
22
00:00:51,748 --> 00:00:53,516
Fine.
23
00:00:59,589 --> 00:01:01,257
[ telephone rings ]
24
00:01:03,293 --> 00:01:04,193
Hello?
25
00:01:04,227 --> 00:01:07,163
[ Doug, lowering voice ]:
Surf's up.
26
00:01:11,768 --> 00:01:15,204
It's a shame you had to leave
the beach so early.
27
00:01:15,238 --> 00:01:17,840
You were with the boy
who played guitar.
28
00:01:17,874 --> 00:01:20,910
Well, he don't
sing no more.
29
00:01:22,279 --> 00:01:26,148
[ normal voice ]
Carrie? Hello?
30
00:01:26,183 --> 00:01:31,487
♪
31
00:01:31,521 --> 00:01:35,523
Sync, corrected by chocomoon
www.addic7ed.com
32
00:01:57,306 --> 00:02:00,541
All right, toothpaste,
razor blades, Kleenex.
33
00:02:00,576 --> 00:02:03,277
Do we need
anything else?
34
00:02:03,312 --> 00:02:06,147
Yeah,
I'm getting this.
35
00:02:06,181 --> 00:02:07,081
A ball?
36
00:02:07,115 --> 00:02:08,082
Yeah,
I'm getting a ball.
37
00:02:08,116 --> 00:02:09,650
All right, put it back.
38
00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:13,521
I'm not putting it back.
39
00:02:13,555 --> 00:02:15,723
What do you need
a ball for?
40
00:02:15,757 --> 00:02:17,024
For bouncing.
41
00:02:17,059 --> 00:02:18,626
All right, come on.
Put it back. Stop it.
44
00:02:20,762 --> 00:02:22,730
then you're not
allowed to get...
45
00:02:22,764 --> 00:02:24,799
your tampons. Yeah!
46
00:02:24,833 --> 00:02:25,933
Yeah.
47
00:02:25,968 --> 00:02:28,469
Bye-bye, "Sure and
Natural for Light Days."
48
00:02:28,503 --> 00:02:30,037
All right, give it to me.
Don't be an idiot.
49
00:02:30,072 --> 00:02:32,206
All right, let me just pick up
our pictures and we can go.
50
00:02:32,241 --> 00:02:33,674
[ sighs ]
51
00:02:33,709 --> 00:02:36,010
So, it's Saturday night.
What are we gonna do?
52
00:02:36,044 --> 00:02:38,212
You wanna go
to a movie?
53
00:02:38,247 --> 00:02:39,580
Eh, I don't wanna
deal with parking.
54
00:02:39,615 --> 00:02:40,581
You wanna rent?
55
00:02:40,616 --> 00:02:42,183
Then you gotta make
the 2 trips...
56
00:02:42,217 --> 00:02:45,419
one to rent
and one to return.
57
00:02:45,454 --> 00:02:47,288
It never ends.
58
00:02:48,557 --> 00:02:50,124
Hi. I dropped off
some film the other day.
59
00:02:50,158 --> 00:02:51,125
Heffernan?
60
00:02:51,159 --> 00:02:53,628
Let me take a look.
61
00:02:53,662 --> 00:02:56,597
Yeah, here they are,
right here.
62
00:02:56,632 --> 00:02:58,466
I can ring the rest of that
stuff up for you here, too.
63
00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:00,434
Oh. Great.
Thank you.
64
00:03:00,469 --> 00:03:02,703
- We don't have to wait in that line up front?
- No.
65
00:03:02,738 --> 00:03:05,338
I mean, you'd ring us up even if
we weren't getting pictures?
66
00:03:06,375 --> 00:03:07,341
Yeah.
67
00:03:07,376 --> 00:03:09,112
That is a hot little
secret, my friend.
68
00:03:10,646 --> 00:03:11,680
That everything?
69
00:03:11,714 --> 00:03:12,814
Oh,
I just have to pick up
70
00:03:12,848 --> 00:03:15,283
my dad's heart medicine.
I'll be right back.
71
00:03:16,519 --> 00:03:20,088
And I can't
get a ball.
72
00:03:23,091 --> 00:03:25,894
All right,
what do we got here?
73
00:03:26,429 --> 00:03:27,662
You barbecuing.
74
00:03:27,697 --> 00:03:29,965
Our fender
when we got hit.
75
00:03:29,999 --> 00:03:31,099
Oh!
76
00:03:31,133 --> 00:03:33,101
This is when you made me
take that picture of you
77
00:03:33,135 --> 00:03:34,502
in front of that place,
Doug's Diner,
78
00:03:34,537 --> 00:03:37,238
'cause it was kind of like
it was your diner.
79
00:03:38,274 --> 00:03:39,841
Oh, yeah.
80
00:03:39,875 --> 00:03:41,910
Doug's Diner.
81
00:03:43,312 --> 00:03:44,980
Oh, look,
my cousin Becky.
82
00:03:45,014 --> 00:03:47,148
Okay, general rule:
If I'm not in it, don't need to see it.
83
00:03:49,652 --> 00:03:51,820
[ telephone rings ]
84
00:03:51,854 --> 00:03:54,422
[ ring ]
85
00:03:54,457 --> 00:03:55,423
Hello?
86
00:03:55,458 --> 00:03:58,126
Oh, hey, Dad.
87
00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,694
I don't know,
where are you?
88
00:04:00,130 --> 00:04:01,631
I'm right here.
89
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,368
Welcome to the future, kids.
I am now the proud owner
90
00:04:05,402 --> 00:04:07,169
of a cellular telephone.
91
00:04:07,204 --> 00:04:09,472
Oh. Good for you, Dad.
92
00:04:09,506 --> 00:04:10,940
I was in the mall
this evening,
93
00:04:10,974 --> 00:04:13,776
I saw a booth,
and I couldn't resist.
94
00:04:13,810 --> 00:04:16,178
This little phone
is gonna set me free.
95
00:04:16,213 --> 00:04:19,048
I could have a business
meeting from the beach.
96
00:04:20,917 --> 00:04:21,984
Yeah, if you
had a business
97
00:04:22,019 --> 00:04:25,421
or a way to get
to the beach.
98
00:04:25,455 --> 00:04:26,422
Anyway, if you need
to reach me,
99
00:04:26,456 --> 00:04:29,825
my number: 555-LOGS.
100
00:04:29,860 --> 00:04:31,994
- Logs?
- Yes.
101
00:04:32,029 --> 00:04:34,363
It's a phone number
and a word.
102
00:04:34,398 --> 00:04:35,898
Marvelous!
103
00:04:39,536 --> 00:04:43,339
I'm guessing they
didn't have 555-NUTBAG.
104
00:04:43,373 --> 00:04:47,476
All right, let's see what's
in the second packet here.
105
00:04:49,312 --> 00:04:51,380
- Wait a minute.
- What?
106
00:04:51,415 --> 00:04:53,716
I think we got
someone else's pictures.
107
00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:56,185
Yeah, it says
"Hofferman" here,
108
00:04:56,219 --> 00:04:58,054
not "Heffernan."
109
00:04:58,088 --> 00:04:59,255
We got someone else's
pictures?
110
00:04:59,289 --> 00:05:00,823
Yeah, I guess so.
111
00:05:00,857 --> 00:05:02,291
Great,
let me see 'em.
112
00:05:02,325 --> 00:05:03,993
Doug!
113
00:05:04,027 --> 00:05:06,028
You can't look at
somebody else's pictures!
114
00:05:06,063 --> 00:05:07,563
That's wrong!
115
00:05:07,597 --> 00:05:09,465
[ imitates baby ]: Oh, is it wrong to
look at other people's pictures?
116
00:05:09,499 --> 00:05:11,067
Give!
117
00:05:13,336 --> 00:05:14,637
All right,
well, then slow down.
118
00:05:14,671 --> 00:05:16,772
Slow down.
119
00:05:16,807 --> 00:05:18,641
Nice-looking couple.
120
00:05:18,675 --> 00:05:20,943
Mid-thirties,
well-dressed.
121
00:05:20,977 --> 00:05:23,212
Hello,
Mr. and Mrs. Hofferman.
122
00:05:23,246 --> 00:05:24,180
[ both chuckle ]
123
00:05:24,214 --> 00:05:26,415
Or maybe Dr.
and Mrs. Hofferman.
124
00:05:26,450 --> 00:05:29,318
Or maybe Mr.
and Dr. Hofferman.
125
00:05:29,352 --> 00:05:31,587
Yeah, like she's a
doctor and he's not.
126
00:05:31,621 --> 00:05:34,490
Like that
happens ever.
127
00:05:35,358 --> 00:05:36,692
Oh, look.
128
00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:39,962
They ran that 10K
in Corona Park.
129
00:05:39,996 --> 00:05:41,697
And here they are
scuba-diving.
130
00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:44,233
Man, these people
really get out, huh?
131
00:05:44,267 --> 00:05:46,902
Here they are hiking.
132
00:05:46,937 --> 00:05:49,371
Jeez, this guy is playing
guitar on top of a mountain!
133
00:05:50,575 --> 00:05:52,543
Are you gettin'
what I'm gettin'?
134
00:05:52,577 --> 00:05:54,979
Uh, he no-likey
girls so much?
135
00:05:55,948 --> 00:05:56,881
No!
136
00:05:56,915 --> 00:05:58,116
These people are amazing!
137
00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:00,551
I mean, look at their
pictures compared to ours!
138
00:06:00,686 --> 00:06:01,853
That's not
a fair comparison.
139
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:03,888
They're doctors!
140
00:06:04,923 --> 00:06:07,058
Doug, they run,
they -- they hike,
141
00:06:07,092 --> 00:06:08,493
they scuba-dive.
142
00:06:08,527 --> 00:06:10,161
I mean, I can't even
find one of us here
143
00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:12,430
where we're
even standing up!
144
00:06:14,233 --> 00:06:15,800
Come on. Whatever.
145
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:19,470
No, I'm serious.
I mean, we suck!
146
00:06:20,773 --> 00:06:22,640
It is Saturday night,
and what have we done?
147
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:24,709
We went to a drugstore,
148
00:06:24,743 --> 00:06:26,477
and now we're lying
around eating pizza,
149
00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:28,279
even too lame
to rent a movie.
150
00:06:28,313 --> 00:06:30,648
I mean, we should be
out there doing stuff!
151
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:31,916
If you'll recall,
152
00:06:31,950 --> 00:06:35,153
I wanted to buy a ball and
someone wouldn't let me.
153
00:06:38,457 --> 00:06:39,423
Doug, come on!
154
00:06:39,458 --> 00:06:41,325
I mean, we're
letting our lives go by.
155
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:42,960
We should
be scuba-diving.
156
00:06:42,995 --> 00:06:44,095
Uh-boy.
157
00:06:44,129 --> 00:06:45,897
Come on, you said you
wanted to learn to scuba.
158
00:06:45,931 --> 00:06:47,832
- When?!
- When we were dating.
159
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,167
Of course I said it
when we were dating!
160
00:06:49,201 --> 00:06:52,203
I was trying to make
you think I went outside!
161
00:06:52,904 --> 00:06:55,204
♪♪♪
162
00:06:55,205 --> 00:06:59,401
♪♪♪♪
163
00:07:00,106 --> 00:07:02,202
♪♪♪♪♪♪♪
164
00:07:03,107 --> 00:07:07,103
♪♪♪
165
00:07:12,607 --> 00:07:13,274
Hey, man.
166
00:07:14,409 --> 00:07:16,710
Hey. Carrie's making us
go scuba-diving.
167
00:07:17,411 --> 00:07:20,511
- You and me?
- No, me and her.
168
00:07:21,044 --> 00:07:23,145
She wants us
to be more active.
169
00:07:23,179 --> 00:07:25,347
Can you picture me
in a wet suit?
170
00:07:26,449 --> 00:07:28,951
Ooh, yeah,
I just did...
171
00:07:28,985 --> 00:07:31,020
and it wasn't
zipped up.
172
00:07:31,054 --> 00:07:34,423
Okay, why wasn't it
zipped up?
173
00:07:34,457 --> 00:07:36,258
I don't know. It just popped
into my head unzipped.
174
00:07:36,293 --> 00:07:38,594
I'm no happier about
this than you are.
175
00:07:39,429 --> 00:07:40,829
Oh, this is brutal.
176
00:07:40,864 --> 00:07:43,699
I gotta figure out some way
to get her off of scuba.
177
00:07:43,733 --> 00:07:44,733
I gotta come up
with something
178
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,068
that'll make her think
we're being active,
179
00:07:46,102 --> 00:07:48,037
but in reality
is very easy.
180
00:07:48,071 --> 00:07:49,038
You got anything?
181
00:07:49,072 --> 00:07:51,273
What about tennis?
182
00:07:53,677 --> 00:07:55,477
[ blows raspberry ]
183
00:07:55,512 --> 00:07:58,147
Okay, uh...archery.
184
00:07:58,181 --> 00:07:59,915
Already look enough
like Cupid.
185
00:07:59,950 --> 00:08:02,418
Don't need
the bow and arrow.
186
00:08:02,452 --> 00:08:04,954
[ cell phone rings ]
Hold on.
187
00:08:06,423 --> 00:08:07,723
Hello?
188
00:08:07,758 --> 00:08:09,091
[ Arthur ]:
Deacon, it's Arthur.
189
00:08:09,126 --> 00:08:11,761
I've recently purchased
a cellular telephone,
190
00:08:11,795 --> 00:08:12,995
and I wanted to update
191
00:08:13,030 --> 00:08:14,764
my contact information
so I could be reached
192
00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:15,865
at any time,
day or night.
193
00:08:15,899 --> 00:08:17,633
My new number
is 555-LOGS.
194
00:08:17,668 --> 00:08:20,336
I look forward
to hearing from you soon.
195
00:08:22,172 --> 00:08:24,040
Who is this again?
196
00:08:27,077 --> 00:08:30,012
[ Instructor ]: So, just to get
the feel of breathing underwater,
197
00:08:30,047 --> 00:08:32,515
I'm gonna ask you to put
your regulator in your mouth,
198
00:08:32,549 --> 00:08:34,283
let the air
out of your B.C.,
199
00:08:34,318 --> 00:08:36,519
and float gently down
to the bottom.
200
00:08:36,553 --> 00:08:38,688
Take a couple of breaths
down there,
201
00:08:38,722 --> 00:08:40,523
and then just come
right back up. Okay?
202
00:08:40,557 --> 00:08:42,859
You three first.
203
00:08:59,744 --> 00:09:01,946
He loves the water.
204
00:09:04,049 --> 00:09:05,382
Hon?
205
00:09:14,226 --> 00:09:16,460
[ gasps ]
206
00:09:27,272 --> 00:09:29,406
Thank you very much.
207
00:09:29,441 --> 00:09:30,741
Arthur, I hate
leaving you here.
208
00:09:30,775 --> 00:09:32,209
Are you sure you don't
want to finish our walk?
209
00:09:32,244 --> 00:09:33,978
Absolutely.
I've got my caramel coffee,
210
00:09:34,012 --> 00:09:35,145
my cell phone,
211
00:09:35,180 --> 00:09:36,547
I'm part
of the modern world,
212
00:09:36,581 --> 00:09:37,948
and I'm loving it!
213
00:09:37,983 --> 00:09:40,551
Okay, well,
I'll see you later.
214
00:09:40,585 --> 00:09:42,686
Have a nice afternoon.
If you need to reach me, I'm at...
215
00:09:42,721 --> 00:09:45,256
555-LOGS.
Yeah, I know.
216
00:09:45,290 --> 00:09:47,591
Would you like to hear
my humorous ring again?
217
00:09:47,626 --> 00:09:49,026
Oh, no, thanks.
218
00:09:49,060 --> 00:09:49,994
Didn't you like it?
219
00:09:50,028 --> 00:09:51,929
It's the theme
from the movie Arthur.
220
00:09:51,963 --> 00:09:54,698
Which is funny
'cause you're Arthur.
221
00:09:54,733 --> 00:09:56,300
- That's right.
- Yeah, it's just...
222
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:58,569
most people don't
have the whole song.
223
00:09:58,603 --> 00:09:59,703
Anyway, I gotta go.
224
00:09:59,738 --> 00:10:01,905
I'll see you
Tuesday.
225
00:10:01,940 --> 00:10:05,643
[ hums the theme
from Arthur ]
226
00:10:13,218 --> 00:10:14,318
[ cell phone rings ]
227
00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:16,387
Hey. Nothing.
Just sitting in Starbucks.
228
00:10:16,388 --> 00:10:17,388
♪♪♪♪
229
00:10:28,790 --> 00:10:31,258
[ cell phone rings ]
230
00:10:31,293 --> 00:10:33,360
Hello? Oh, hey.
231
00:10:33,395 --> 00:10:34,328
Yeah, I was
just wondering
232
00:10:34,362 --> 00:10:36,096
if you wanna get
manicures later.
233
00:10:50,213 --> 00:10:52,347
Hi. Um...
234
00:10:52,382 --> 00:10:54,116
do you have anything
for when you're scuba-diving
235
00:10:54,150 --> 00:10:58,287
and you panic and you drag a
kid under the water, and...
236
00:10:58,321 --> 00:11:00,856
and he bites you?
237
00:11:00,890 --> 00:11:02,457
Uh, I'm not sure.
238
00:11:02,492 --> 00:11:04,893
Anything like
"Bite Be Gone"
239
00:11:04,928 --> 00:11:08,864
or "Boy-Bite Be Gone"?
240
00:11:09,866 --> 00:11:10,766
You could try this.
241
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,668
Oh, great.
Thank you.
242
00:11:13,670 --> 00:11:18,106
So you used a child as
your flotation device?
243
00:11:18,141 --> 00:11:20,042
Classy move.
244
00:11:20,076 --> 00:11:21,944
This is all
Carrie's fault, okay?
245
00:11:21,978 --> 00:11:23,612
And she's not letting go
of this, either.
246
00:11:23,646 --> 00:11:25,848
Last night I heard her
talking about hang gliding.
247
00:11:25,882 --> 00:11:28,851
Yeah, I'm the guy you want
dangling over a little town.
248
00:11:28,885 --> 00:11:31,553
Ugh, this is ridiculous.
249
00:11:31,588 --> 00:11:34,089
I mean, we get one roll
of strangers' pictures,
250
00:11:34,123 --> 00:11:35,724
and all of a sudden,
she wants us to be them.
251
00:11:35,758 --> 00:11:38,360
I'm sure their lives aren't
like that all the time.
252
00:11:38,394 --> 00:11:40,696
What do you mean?
253
00:11:40,730 --> 00:11:42,264
I mean, I'm sure if you saw
their next roll of pictures,
254
00:11:42,298 --> 00:11:43,999
they'd be watching TV
in their underwear
255
00:11:44,033 --> 00:11:45,467
just like
the rest of us.
256
00:11:46,536 --> 00:11:47,570
You know what?
You're right.
257
00:11:47,604 --> 00:11:49,705
Where you going?
258
00:11:49,740 --> 00:11:52,375
I'm gonna see if the Hoffermans
have any more pictures here.
259
00:11:52,409 --> 00:11:54,410
You can't steal these
people's pictures again.
260
00:11:54,444 --> 00:11:56,112
Hey, we returned
the last pack
261
00:11:56,146 --> 00:11:57,079
and everything
worked out fine.
262
00:11:57,114 --> 00:11:59,548
Now, make yourself
useful and...
263
00:11:59,583 --> 00:12:01,650
create a distraction.
264
00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:04,487
Fine.
265
00:12:04,521 --> 00:12:07,123
I'll go walk
by the watches.
266
00:12:10,260 --> 00:12:12,328
Hi. Uh...
267
00:12:12,362 --> 00:12:14,663
just wanted to check to see
if I had any pictures ready.
268
00:12:14,698 --> 00:12:15,631
What's the name?
269
00:12:15,665 --> 00:12:17,032
Uh, it's, uh...
270
00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:18,801
[ clears throat ]
Heoffrmnmm.
271
00:12:18,835 --> 00:12:21,270
- What was that?
- Hoeoffernmn.
272
00:12:21,304 --> 00:12:23,072
I'm sorry.
One more time?
273
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,575
Hofferman, okay?
I'm Mr. Hofferman.
274
00:12:26,610 --> 00:12:28,978
Might be under
Dr. Hofferman.
275
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,715
- They're right here.
- Great, thank you.
276
00:12:33,650 --> 00:12:35,050
[ Deacon ]:
Hey, you got 'em?
277
00:12:35,085 --> 00:12:38,921
Yup, let's see what the
Hoffermans are up to this week.
278
00:12:39,790 --> 00:12:41,524
- Whoa.
- What?
279
00:12:41,558 --> 00:12:43,859
[ high-pitched ]
Hoffernipple.
280
00:12:49,512 --> 00:12:51,780
Hey, sweet thang!
What's going on?
281
00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:53,348
Well, I'm guessing
you're not up
282
00:12:53,383 --> 00:12:54,917
for a second try
at scuba,
283
00:12:54,951 --> 00:12:56,952
so I'm looking
into a few hiking trails
284
00:12:56,986 --> 00:12:58,120
I think you can handle.
285
00:12:58,154 --> 00:12:59,454
Great.
Bring it on.
286
00:12:59,489 --> 00:13:00,455
Really?
287
00:13:00,490 --> 00:13:03,992
I was expecting you
to cry or run at me.
288
00:13:04,727 --> 00:13:06,662
What? No! You know,
I've been thinking
289
00:13:06,696 --> 00:13:09,231
about these Hofferman
folks, and you're right.
290
00:13:09,265 --> 00:13:12,334
They do know a little
something about living life.
291
00:13:13,636 --> 00:13:14,970
Really?
292
00:13:15,004 --> 00:13:17,105
Well, I am glad
you feel that way
293
00:13:17,140 --> 00:13:18,407
because I was looking
at their pictures again --
294
00:13:18,441 --> 00:13:19,374
What?
295
00:13:19,409 --> 00:13:20,475
I thought you
returned those.
296
00:13:20,510 --> 00:13:21,810
I kept the doubles.
297
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:24,479
But, look, I didn't see
this the first time.
298
00:13:24,514 --> 00:13:25,814
They have a dog!
299
00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:27,215
Let's get a dog.
300
00:13:27,250 --> 00:13:29,484
- Sure, sure, we could get a dog.
- Yeah?
301
00:13:29,519 --> 00:13:31,853
And here's a few other
things we can do.
302
00:13:33,456 --> 00:13:34,856
What's that?
303
00:13:34,891 --> 00:13:37,392
The next set of
Hofferman pictures.
304
00:13:37,427 --> 00:13:38,794
Oh, my God,
you stole 'em?
305
00:13:38,828 --> 00:13:39,795
Get 'em out!
Get 'em out!
306
00:13:39,829 --> 00:13:41,096
Okay, all right.
307
00:13:41,130 --> 00:13:42,864
This one here,
that's my favorite.
308
00:13:42,899 --> 00:13:44,266
[ clears throat ]
309
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:46,168
She's making him
a waffle.
310
00:13:46,202 --> 00:13:49,638
No, she's making him
a waffle in lacy lingerie.
311
00:13:49,672 --> 00:13:52,240
So what are you saying?
You want me to do this?
312
00:13:52,275 --> 00:13:54,376
This and...
313
00:13:54,410 --> 00:13:55,978
this.
314
00:13:57,914 --> 00:14:00,182
And a little
of this...
315
00:14:01,985 --> 00:14:04,186
and assuming we can find
the right kind of chair,
316
00:14:04,220 --> 00:14:06,021
this.
317
00:14:08,091 --> 00:14:10,092
Good God!
318
00:14:10,126 --> 00:14:12,027
I'm not doing
any of those things!
319
00:14:12,061 --> 00:14:13,295
But Mrs. Hofferman did.
320
00:14:13,329 --> 00:14:15,230
Yeah, well,
I'm not a ho.
321
00:14:15,264 --> 00:14:17,466
And I'm
not a scuba-diver,
322
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,501
but guess what we did
last Saturday, sister?
323
00:14:19,535 --> 00:14:21,803
Yeah. Get some rest.
324
00:14:33,349 --> 00:14:35,951
[ cell phone rings ]
325
00:14:35,985 --> 00:14:37,653
Yeah, hi. I told you
to sell those shares.
326
00:14:37,687 --> 00:14:38,854
I don't want
to hold onto them.
327
00:14:38,888 --> 00:14:39,988
[ cell phone rings ]
328
00:14:40,023 --> 00:14:41,156
[ cell phone rings ]
329
00:14:41,190 --> 00:14:42,090
You're kidding?!
330
00:14:42,125 --> 00:14:43,191
[ cell phone rings ]
Hey, Mom.
331
00:14:43,226 --> 00:14:44,393
[ cell phones ringing ]
Yeah, I'm off today.
332
00:14:44,427 --> 00:14:45,794
Actually,
the show started.
333
00:14:45,828 --> 00:14:46,795
[ Girl ]: Did you download
their new song?
334
00:14:46,829 --> 00:14:47,763
[ laughs ]
You're welcome.
335
00:14:47,797 --> 00:14:49,398
No deal.
Can you wait for me?
336
00:14:49,432 --> 00:14:52,234
Aaaaah!
337
00:14:54,871 --> 00:14:58,306
All right, you're a dirty batter
girl. Gimme the look!
338
00:14:59,575 --> 00:15:00,910
Okay, that's
angry batter girl.
339
00:15:01,195 --> 00:15:02,462
Okay, could you just take
the picture, please?
340
00:15:02,496 --> 00:15:04,063
Thank you. Okay.
341
00:15:04,098 --> 00:15:06,132
Now, pick up
a piece of bacon.
342
00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:07,734
All right.
343
00:15:07,768 --> 00:15:09,435
Slap it!
Slap it around!
344
00:15:09,470 --> 00:15:10,737
Doug, come on!
345
00:15:10,771 --> 00:15:11,738
There you go.
346
00:15:11,772 --> 00:15:13,473
All right,
food's all cooking.
347
00:15:13,507 --> 00:15:14,574
What's next?
348
00:15:14,608 --> 00:15:16,643
Uh, I'm not really sure.
349
00:15:16,677 --> 00:15:18,478
We can do the sex,
then the waffles,
350
00:15:18,512 --> 00:15:21,014
or the waffles, then the sex.
What do you think?
351
00:15:21,048 --> 00:15:22,949
I don't know, honey.
This is kind of your baby.
352
00:15:22,983 --> 00:15:28,254
Okay, then I choose sex,
then waffles!
353
00:15:28,288 --> 00:15:31,324
Gotta admit, thought you were
gonna go the other way.
354
00:15:31,358 --> 00:15:33,159
I did. All right!
355
00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:34,494
- Let's get cracking.
- Okay.
356
00:15:34,528 --> 00:15:36,663
- Get in here.
- All right.
357
00:15:38,666 --> 00:15:40,833
[ beeping ]
358
00:15:45,406 --> 00:15:47,907
Aah! Bacon grease!
359
00:15:47,941 --> 00:15:49,042
What are you doing?!
360
00:15:49,076 --> 00:15:52,278
I was trying to unplug
the waffle iron.
361
00:15:52,312 --> 00:15:53,746
What are you worrying
about that now for?!
362
00:15:53,781 --> 00:15:54,814
This is the sex part!
363
00:15:54,848 --> 00:15:56,816
You worry about that
during the waffle part!
364
00:15:56,850 --> 00:15:58,451
I am sorry.
It's hard to focus
365
00:15:58,485 --> 00:16:01,354
with a piercing whistle
in my ear. This...
366
00:16:01,388 --> 00:16:03,022
This whole thing
is ridiculous.
367
00:16:03,157 --> 00:16:05,458
You know, let's just forget it.
Thanks for nothing.
368
00:16:05,492 --> 00:16:07,126
I told you
this was a stupid idea.
369
00:16:07,161 --> 00:16:09,929
Yeah, well, Mrs. Hofferman didn't
think it was so stupid.
370
00:16:09,963 --> 00:16:12,632
You don't see her freaking out
over the waffle iron.
371
00:16:12,666 --> 00:16:14,300
Oh, my God. You are
not getting on me
372
00:16:14,334 --> 00:16:15,334
about this, are you?
373
00:16:15,369 --> 00:16:17,570
Oh, okay, all right.
Who's this?
374
00:16:17,604 --> 00:16:18,638
[ gasps ]
375
00:16:18,672 --> 00:16:20,807
Uhh! Uhh!
I'm gonna die!
376
00:16:20,841 --> 00:16:24,210
I'm in 4 feet
of water!
377
00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:25,845
Well, excuse me
for not knowing
378
00:16:25,879 --> 00:16:27,580
how to breathe
underwater!
379
00:16:27,614 --> 00:16:30,550
I'm not a walrus.
Shuttie.
380
00:16:33,287 --> 00:16:35,389
Okay, you know what else
you don't know how to do?
381
00:16:35,423 --> 00:16:38,025
Keep a room nice.
I mean, look at this.
382
00:16:38,059 --> 00:16:40,494
Mr. Hofferman doesn't throw his
clothes all over the floor.
383
00:16:40,528 --> 00:16:42,396
No gum wrappers
on the dresser.
384
00:16:42,430 --> 00:16:43,764
That's maybe 'cause
Mrs. Hofferman
385
00:16:43,798 --> 00:16:45,699
lets him go to the Knick
game with his buddies.
386
00:16:45,733 --> 00:16:46,633
Well, why wouldn't she
387
00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:48,468
when he buys her roses
like these?
388
00:16:48,503 --> 00:16:50,470
When was the last time
you bought me roses?
389
00:16:50,505 --> 00:16:52,339
Well, maybe I would
if you would...
390
00:16:52,373 --> 00:16:55,075
and we're back
to the chair thing.
391
00:16:55,109 --> 00:16:57,611
All right,
you know what?
392
00:16:57,645 --> 00:16:59,246
Why don't you
just find Mrs. Hofferman
393
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:00,881
and have waffle sex
with her?
394
00:17:00,915 --> 00:17:02,516
Why don't you find
Mr. Hofferman
395
00:17:02,550 --> 00:17:03,750
and go scuba-diving
with him?
396
00:17:03,785 --> 00:17:05,085
I bet you
his guitar sounds
397
00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:07,487
even fruitier
underwater!
398
00:17:07,522 --> 00:17:09,523
The fruitiest thing
I've ever seen underwater
399
00:17:09,557 --> 00:17:11,158
is you, my friend!
400
00:17:12,994 --> 00:17:14,194
[ sighs ]
401
00:17:15,263 --> 00:17:18,432
Look, what are
we doing here?
402
00:17:18,466 --> 00:17:19,800
I don't know.
403
00:17:19,834 --> 00:17:22,235
The Hoffermans...
404
00:17:22,270 --> 00:17:24,071
they're destroying us.
405
00:17:24,105 --> 00:17:26,273
I know.
406
00:17:26,307 --> 00:17:28,041
Look, we gotta stop trying
to be the Hoffermans.
407
00:17:28,076 --> 00:17:29,843
I mean,
we're the Heffernans.
408
00:17:29,877 --> 00:17:31,545
It's like the Hoffermans,
only slightly worse.
409
00:17:31,579 --> 00:17:33,313
And that's okay.
410
00:17:34,082 --> 00:17:36,183
Exactly.
411
00:17:36,217 --> 00:17:39,052
555-LOGS!
412
00:17:41,423 --> 00:17:42,957
I don't know,
part of me really wants
413
00:17:42,991 --> 00:17:44,826
to try out
to be on Survivor,
414
00:17:44,860 --> 00:17:46,227
but another part
of me is like,
415
00:17:46,261 --> 00:17:48,996
do I really want to expose myself
in that way, you know?
416
00:17:49,031 --> 00:17:52,400
[ cell phone rings ]
Excuse me.
417
00:17:52,434 --> 00:17:54,202
Hello?
418
00:17:54,236 --> 00:17:55,937
Oh, hi,
Mrs. Gilgore.
419
00:17:55,971 --> 00:17:57,738
Uh-huh.
Sure, sure.
420
00:17:57,773 --> 00:17:58,673
Yeah, hold on
for one second.
421
00:17:58,707 --> 00:17:59,640
Cupcake,
it's your mommy.
422
00:17:59,675 --> 00:18:00,741
She's on the phone.
She misses you
423
00:18:00,776 --> 00:18:02,243
and wants
to say hello.
424
00:18:02,277 --> 00:18:04,178
Oh, for God's sake.
425
00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:06,214
How dare you get
a cell phone call!
426
00:18:06,248 --> 00:18:07,815
You're a dog, Cupcake!
427
00:18:07,850 --> 00:18:09,317
A dog!
428
00:18:09,885 --> 00:18:11,419
You wipe that smug look
off your face or I'll do it for you.
429
00:18:12,755 --> 00:18:13,989
Arthur, maybe
we should just...
430
00:18:14,023 --> 00:18:15,690
Give me that!
431
00:18:15,725 --> 00:18:17,092
Do you understand
that there are
432
00:18:17,126 --> 00:18:19,060
human beings out there
who need love?!
433
00:18:19,095 --> 00:18:20,629
Think about it.
434
00:18:20,663 --> 00:18:22,631
I curse the day
I ever bought this thing.
435
00:18:22,665 --> 00:18:24,432
Uhh!
436
00:18:25,534 --> 00:18:27,602
Um, that was mine.
437
00:18:31,874 --> 00:18:33,775
So this is how we spend
our Saturday nights.
438
00:18:33,809 --> 00:18:35,043
This is great.
439
00:18:35,077 --> 00:18:37,112
We love each other,
and we love the drugstore.
440
00:18:37,146 --> 00:18:39,481
Nothing to be ashamed of.
441
00:18:41,384 --> 00:18:42,517
I'm getting a ball
this time.
442
00:18:42,551 --> 00:18:44,285
You can't stop me.
443
00:18:47,990 --> 00:18:49,591
Where are you going?
444
00:18:49,625 --> 00:18:50,992
Nowhere.
445
00:18:51,027 --> 00:18:52,327
I just want to see
if the Hoffermans
446
00:18:52,361 --> 00:18:53,962
have any more pictures.
447
00:18:53,996 --> 00:18:55,064
Carrie, let it go.
448
00:18:55,098 --> 00:18:56,265
We don't care,
remember?
449
00:18:56,299 --> 00:18:57,933
I know, I know.
I just...
450
00:18:57,968 --> 00:19:00,002
I just want to see their
dog one last time.
451
00:19:00,036 --> 00:19:01,971
[ Clerk ]: May I help you?
452
00:19:02,005 --> 00:19:03,772
Yes, I was wondering
if our pictures are ready?
453
00:19:03,807 --> 00:19:05,908
- The name's Hofferman.
- [ gasps ]
454
00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:08,611
Hi.
455
00:19:08,645 --> 00:19:10,679
- Hi.
- Hello.
456
00:19:12,048 --> 00:19:15,284
[ whispers ]
Would you look at them?
457
00:19:15,318 --> 00:19:17,887
[ whispers ]: Okay, I admit
they're magnificent.
458
00:19:17,921 --> 00:19:19,989
But think of it
this way,
459
00:19:20,023 --> 00:19:21,056
they're here
in a drugstore
460
00:19:21,091 --> 00:19:22,791
on a Saturday night,
too.
461
00:19:22,826 --> 00:19:23,959
They're no better
than us.
462
00:19:23,994 --> 00:19:25,127
You're right.
You're right.
463
00:19:25,161 --> 00:19:26,228
Anything else?
464
00:19:26,263 --> 00:19:27,429
Yeah, the suntan lotion.
465
00:19:27,464 --> 00:19:28,464
Going somewhere good?
466
00:19:28,498 --> 00:19:29,598
[ Mr. Hofferman ]:
Actually, yes.
467
00:19:29,633 --> 00:19:31,100
We're leaving tomorrow
for the Galapagos Islands
468
00:19:31,134 --> 00:19:33,168
to do some research
for our book.
469
00:19:33,203 --> 00:19:34,803
Damn it!
470
00:19:41,678 --> 00:19:44,380
Why did we have to get their
pictures in the first place?
471
00:19:44,414 --> 00:19:45,881
There's gotta be
one couple in here
472
00:19:45,916 --> 00:19:47,983
that'll make us
seem good.
473
00:19:50,086 --> 00:19:52,488
Aha.
474
00:19:52,522 --> 00:19:53,956
- The "Sosdorffs."
- Yeah.
475
00:19:53,990 --> 00:19:55,724
Let's see what you got.
476
00:19:56,860 --> 00:19:59,094
Wow, nice sailboat.
477
00:20:00,230 --> 00:20:01,730
Come on, help me.
478
00:20:05,535 --> 00:20:09,138
Oh, man, this couple
knows Halle Berry!
479
00:20:10,373 --> 00:20:12,841
Dump the bin!
Dump the bin!
480
00:20:31,407 --> 00:20:35,443
Sync, corrected by chocomoon
www.addic7ed.com
33144
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