Original subtitles

Dear Girl Next Door,

I'm not usually one to gripe,

or seek advice from strangers.

But I'm sick of living in a world

that doesn't take me seriously as a young businesswoman.

Did you know I can't even open a checking account?

Dear Girl Next Door,

I know and love who I am.

I'm Black. I'm bold. I'm beautiful.

But it's frustrating to live in a world that doesn't celebrate me

for being those things...

Dear Girl Next Door,

with every breath I take, I'm living a lie.

Forever worried that I'll reveal my true self

to an intolerant world

that won't let me love who I want to love.

Dear Girl Next Door,

I feel like I'm sitting on a ticking time-bomb,

and it's only a matter of time before the world stigmatizes me

for being "a woman of loose morals."

Dear Girl Next Door,

or should I say, Little Miss Busybody?

What makes you think

you have all the answers, any-who?

Dear Girl Next Door,

I know I should be grateful for the things I have,

but it's hard when everything around me is beautiful

and the world's constantly reminding me

I'm not one of those things.

Gosh, Ethel, that's a beautiful sketch.

Is that for art class?

No, she's finishing up the sign-up sheet

for the town's annual Miss Riverdale Teen Queen Pageant.

Your mom asked me to be her assistant.

Ugh, is it really time for that embarrassing cattle call again?

Yes, it is.

But this year, for the first time ever,

we're going to be broadcast live on national television,

right out of the RIVW Studios.

Whoop-dee-doo.

I hope you don't expect me to compete.

Oh, no, of course not.

Why would you wanna participate in anything

so glorious and wholesome and all-American

as Miss Riverdale Teen Queen,

when you're already holding the crown

for Miss Grumpy Pants USA?

And I'm sure you're not interested

in any of our wonderful prizes this year...

like, say, a new car.

I don't even have a driver's license.

A Hollywood screen test.

Not interested in the slightest.

Or a scholarship to whatever college accepts you.

The pageant's giving away scholarships? Since when?

Since we're gonna be broadcast live on national television.

But I understand. You're not interested.

Ethel, she is beautiful,

but why don't we change her from a blonde to a brunette?

I think she'd be much more likable that way.

What do the rules say about outside designers?

Because Edith Head has been dying

to design a bathing suit for me,

and Miss Riverdale Teen Queen

would be a divine showcase for it.

Oh, Vee, please tell me

you're not honestly signing up for that.

I already did, Betty.

Imagine the publicity

it would bring to the Babylonium if I won.

It's a business decision.

Okay, but it objectifies girls.

I mean, wearing a swimsuit and heels at the same time.

What about that little peep show you did with Archie?

Was that objectifying?

Yes. Well, that was between me and Archie,

and he was in his underwear, too.

What I wouldn't give...

How about flashing your panties on live television?

That was my decision, on my terms.

Look, beauty pageants

can certainly be seen as objectifying women,

if you choose to look at them solely through that one lens.

What other lens is there?

What's that saying?

"Beauty's in the eye of the beholder."

Speaking for myself, I love being beautiful.

And not for the drooling approval

of some fuddy-duddy judges.

I refuse to give them any power over me.

I decide if I'm beautiful or not.

And I am, as are we all.

But doesn't it bother you

that beauty pageants pit girls against girls?

Oh, there's a way around that.

We gals just need to make a pact.

No matter who wins, we all win.

And no cat-fighting or back-biting.

Except against Evelyn Evernever

who, of course, was the first to sign-up, annoyingly.

Wait, wait, Toni,

you're doing it, too?

Trust me, Betty.

I feel the same way you do.

But this is the first year

that Miss Riverdale Teen Queen is integrated.

And even though there's not a snowball's chance in hell

that those stuffed-shirt judges will give me the title,

I'm gonna make damn sure that I show the country

at least one Black woman competing for the crown.

And if I do win, don't worry.

I'm gonna call out the Miss America pageant

for the fact that all its contestants

must be of "good health and the white race."

My parents sponsor Miss Riverdale Teen queen, of course,

so it would definitely raise a few eyebrows

if I didn't compete.

Though, if I do win the title again this year,

I would use my platform differently,

advocating for the more...

disenfranchised teens in this town.

Are you sure you should be competing, Midge?

You know, in your delicate condition?

I mean, won't you be wearing high-heels for hours on end?

What if you trip?

You're the sweetest for worrying about me, Fangs.

But...

this might be the last time I get to do anything like this.

Just...

dress up and be a 16-year-old girl.

Compete for some silly tiara

like it's the only thing in the world that matters.

What I said before?

Ice it.

You go compete your heart out on that stage, baby.

If those judges got eyes in their head,

they won't even look at those other wannabes

because you're the hottest mama,

with the classiest chassis,

in the whole town, by a mile.

All right, now that it's just us,

selfishly, of course,

I think it would be a gas

if we were all part of Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

So I'm gonna go out on a limb here--

I think I know what you're going to say.

Let me ask you this, Betty.

If your mom wasn't hosting the pageant,

wouldn't you be competing for those ginchy prizes?

I mean, imagine if you got that scholarship.

It could be your ticket to freedom.

You could go to whatever school accepted you,

on your own terms,

not at your parents' whims.

Some place like--

Sarah Florence.

Or Smith College.

Mmm-hmm.

So you have thought about it.

I knew it.

♪ There she is ♪

♪ Miss America ♪

♪ There she is, your ideal ♪

♪ The dream Of a million girls ♪

♪ Who are more than pretty... ♪

Well, well, well.

If it isn't the latest and greatest

aspiring Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

Yes, Mother, I signed up. Are you overjoyed?

No, actually, I'm not, Elizabeth.

I would like to know what your nefarious plan is.

Do you plan on winning the crown

and then pulling the entire temple

down around you?

Make some kind of feminist statement?

No, I do not wanna pull the temple down around me.

To be honest, it would be nice to win that scholarship money.

Oh, please, Elizabeth.

You get straight A's.

If you so choose to go to college,

which I'm not recommending,

I would much rather you go to finishing school.

You're gonna be able to get an academic scholarship.

So don't try and bamboozle me

into thinking that you care about the scholarship.

What would you like me to say then, Mother?

I would like you to say that you actually want

to be Miss Riverdale Teen Queen

for the joy and satisfaction of it.

You know, I was Miss Riverdale Teen queen back in my day.

I know. Everyone knows.

The night that I was crowned,

it was the greatest night of my life.

I thought I could do anything, be anything.

You know--

Well, it's silly, but I thought that I...

might grow up to be a stewardess

and travel the world, see glamorous places.

Wait, you wanted to be a stewardess?

Hmm.

-That I did not know. -Mmm.

What happened? Why didn't you do it?

Well, I married your father, of course.

And then I had your sister,

and then I had you,

and I gave up my silly dreams of becoming a stewardess.

-Can you imagine? -Yeah. I can.

How fab that would have been for you,

traveling to all those places, meeting glamorous people.

Yeah.

Well, anyway, Betty,

whatever your reasons are,

I think this is gonna be wonderful for you.

Imagine if you won.

That would be the greatest accomplishment of my life.

This is so exciting.

I can't wait to rehearse with you girls.

Wait. We have to rehearse?

Yes, of course.

I have to guide you girls through this entire process.

And mind you,

this is not just glitz and glam.

This is rigorous hard work,

like going into battle.

So I want you to get a good night's sleep tonight, dear.

I don't wanna see any shadowy bags

under those eyes in the morning.

A Miss Riverdale Teen Queen does not walk, she glides.

That's what I wanna see from you.

Gliding, gliding, gliding...

Focus.

We wanna block out everything and only concentrate

on being the most poised, the most refined,

and the most elegant we can be.

Appearance, posture, carriage, character,

all these elements

go into the making of a Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

We must carry ourselves

with the dignity of English royalty.

Our categories are evening gowns,

vim and vigor,

bathing suits, point of view,

and the ever-most important talent competition.

It's all about showing how well-rounded

Miss Riverdale Teen Queen is.

Well, that's all fine and dandy,

but I don't need some creepy old men

telling me how well-rounded my backside is.

I know how shapely I am.

-Toni! -Greaser garbage.

Preppy troll.

Miss Topaz, really!

As Miss Blossom will tell you,

being Miss Riverdale Teen Queen,

you serve as an ambassadrix for Riverdale

for the entire year of your appointment.

Why, you must be the female embodiment

of all things good and decent

in our little town with pep.

In fact, "pep" should be your middle name.

All right, one more hour of posture work,

and then we will go down to Mrs. Andrews' dress shop

and have you fitted for gowns.

Ethel Muggs, as the winner of this year's

Miss Riverdale Teen Queen pageant,

can you tell us what you're feeling

at this exact moment?

Gosh, Mrs. Cooper,

I guess I'm really just wishing

that my parents were alive to see this.

Oh, but, Ethel, they are.

Mom?

Dad?

Ethel, as our newly-minted Miss Riverdale Teen Queen,

are there any other dreams that you're looking to fulfill?

Well, now that you mention it,

a lot of people don't know that I paint

as well as draw comic books.

And I would be so jazzed to have an original Ethel Muggs

hanging in a real gallery or museum.

Ethel, I have got some great news for you then.

Your beautiful self-portrait

is going to be on display at the Guggenheim Museum.

Oh, my gosh, the Guggenheim?

Yes.

Ethel, this is your night, and your night alone.

Is there anything else

that would make it even more special?

Well...

I think it would just be the ginchiest thing ever

if Jughead Jones were my boyfriend.

Oh, Ethel.

Miss Riverdale Teen Queen has the pick of the litter,

but if it's Jughead Jones you want,

then Jughead is yours.

Jughead?

Are you really my boyfriend?

Of course I am.

You've always been my best gal.

Beautiful.

Ethel?

Ethel?

Ethel!

Sorry, what was that, Mrs. Cooper?

You did make an appointment at the dress shop, I hope?

Mmm-hmm.

Look at all these gorgeous girls.

You know, back in the day,

I competed to be Miss Riverdale Teen Queen,

all through high school.

Against you, Alice, if I'm not mistaken.

Well, you always gave me a run for my money, Mary.

And you always won.

You know, it's funny.

I really thought that being Miss Riverdale Teen Queen

would be a stepping-stone

to doing something important with my life.

Like, I don't know,

being the first lady or something.

Well, there's nothing more important

than being a wife and mother, Mary.

Maybe for our generation, Alice.

But I feel like these girls

could do anything they want,

be anything that they want.

No disrespect to Mamie Eisenhower,

she's an icon,

but do you girls ever think we'll have a female president?

I wouldn't vote for a woman.

Or a Black president, for that matter?

Man or a woman.

Think about how much change would have to occur

in the world for that to happen.

It'll happen. In our lifetime, I bet.

Now, now.

I think it's important to manage one's expectations.

Don't you think, Mary?

Of course.

Oh, Ethel, can you make sure that you pin Betty's dress

all the way around the hem?

Okay, Midge, let's look at this fit on you.

Ethel, are you crying?

Sorry.

I won't get any tears on your dress, I promise.

No, no, what's the matter?

Nothing.

You're just so beautiful, Betty.

You and all the other girls, you're just so beautiful.

I think we might need to let this out just a tiny bit.

Gosh, Midge,

you better start cutting back on those desserts.

Otherwise, that cute serpent boyfriend of yours

might decide that you're too much woman to handle.

Evelyn, why don't you do us all a favor

and take a long walk off a short pier?

Just gonna go get my measuring tape.

Midge, dear,

why don't you and I have a little chat later?

Huh? Just between us?

Ethel, what were those waterworks

at the dress shop about?

Did something happen?

No.

Nothing.

I guess I just wish

that I could be competing with you all.

Ethel, you're so beautiful. Why aren't you competing?

I couldn't.

You heard what your mom said

about being Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

She's supposed to embody the best of the town,

be Riverdale's ideal girl.

That's not me, Betty.

I'm the girl whose parents were murdered.

The girl who's quiet and likes comic books

and draws creepy pictures.

No one in their right mind would crown me

Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

I know what my mom's been saying, Ethel,

but straight from the fridge, you...

You're such a wonderful, beautiful person.

You've overcome so much adversity in your life,

more than any other girl in Riverdale,

and that is inspiring.

You are inspiring.

You have more pep in your little finger

than the rest of us do in our whole bodies combined.

And you have every right

to be up there competing just as much as the rest of us.

No.

I couldn't.

Really, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have said anything.

So, Midge,

how far along are you?

And no fibbing, please.

I recognize that glow.

Girls, I appreciate you gathering

for an emergency meeting before school.

Now, some of you may know

Midge Klump is no longer with us.

What? What happened?

Did Midge die?

Oh, no, no, she's still alive. But regrettably,

she is no longer eligible

to compete for Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

And, moreover, she will no longer

be a student here at Riverdale High.

She will continue her studies at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy.

But Mrs. Cooper--

And I assure you she is doing just fine.

Really, girls, this is the best thing for her.

And when you see her again in six or seven months,

you will see that she is right as rain.

Six or seven months? What? Is Midge--

Also, this is a good time to remind you

that we must treat our bodies as temples,

temples that must be protected against any kind of defilement.

On that note,

we will see you back here for some good clean fun

later this afternoon, okay?

Very good.

I just don't understand. Why would Midge be sent away like that?

I thought you were supposed to be smart.

It's because Midge has a bun in the oven, of course.

Evelyn, shut your pie hole right now.

It's the worst-kept secret in town.

Second worst, after you two.

This wouldn't be the first time

a girl's been sent away to hide her shame.

I mean, sadly, this is standard practice in Hollywood.

- Which is nothing to be ashamed of. - -Says you.

She let a greaser paw at her like a dirty rag.

You're cruising for a bruising, you snot-nosed square.

Okay, wait.

So Midge and Fangs have actually...

Yes, Betty.

Just once or multiple times?

From the way those two would look at each other,

I'm guessing they were doing the deed on the reg.

If you must know,

Midge loves Fangs and Fangs loves Midge.

And if it wasn't for her classist racist parents,

they would be together right now.

Quite the cautionary tale, if you ask me.

Funnily enough, no one is, you goon from Saskatoon.

I'm just, I'm wondering

how Midge could have ended up getting...

Uh...

No, no, of course, I understand how it happened.

I'm just wondering if they were using...

If they were using protection?

-Good question. -Midge said they were.

But once it slipped.

That's what Fangs told me, too.

See, this is why they ought to invent,

I don't know, a pill or something.

A what?

A pill, like a monthly pill,

that girls can take,

that protects them from...

accidents, even happy ones.

Because, let's face it, ladies,

we're the ones who have to live with the consequences.

Not the boys.

They get claps on the back while we bear the burden,

while we're stigmatized.

Poor Midge. Now her whole life is just--

Her life is not ruined.

Midge is one of my Vixens.

I will not let this destroy her.

Except you're no longer a Vixen, and neither is Midge.

Really, who did let you sit with us?

Wonder if Fangs even knows about this?

Well, if he doesn't now, he will soon.

The whole school will.

Then I should find him.

-Talk to him. -I'll come with you.

Betty, what are you thinking about?

Just how quickly your entire life can change.

How one night can decide everything for you.

You were quiet in the lounge, Ethel.

I keep thinking about Midge at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy.

It's awful what's happening to Midge,

and we will figure out a way to help her.

But in the meantime...

I also think this presents an opportunity.

What do you mean?

Well, there's an open spot now

to replace Midge in the pageant,

and what better girl to do it than you?

Do you really think that, Betty?

I do.

It almost feels like your destiny now,

but only if you want to, Ethel.

I... I do.

But what about your mom?

I mean, there's still so much that needs to get done,

and she still needs an assistant.

I have someone in mind for that.

They took Midge?

I'm gonna go up there to that convent,

I'm gonna bust Midge out of there.

She doesn't belong in that place.

They do experiments on those kids,

give them all psychedelic drugs and stuff.

Oh, pump the brakes there, Fangs.

The last thing anyone needs is you going in half-cocked.

Kidnapping Midge after she's already been kidnapped once

will only make things worse.

We need more information before anyone does anything.

Midge's parents know she's pregnant

because Mrs. Cooper forced it out of her,

but they may not know that you're the father.

We should endeavor to keep it that way

so that you're not arrested.

Or worse.

Okay, what am I supposed to do, huh?

Bupkis?

We stick with the original plan.

You write a hit song, you get a gold record under your belt

and you become undeniable to Midge's parents.

You just need to focus

on getting ready for when you and Midge get reunited.

Look, my parents have made

many a charitable donation to the Sisters.

So I will work on setting up

at least a phone call between you and dear Midge.

But you have to listen to Toni.

And, Fangs, remain calm.

Calm. Okay.

Beautiful.

What's going on in here?

I'm just getting Ethel all caught up.

But she has perfect poise, honestly.

And doesn't she look to die for in her dress?

Getting caught up on... what exactly?

Oh, didn't you hear?

Ethel's replacing Midge in the pageant,

and luckily, she already knows all the routines.

That is wonderful.

Um, but who's gonna be my assistant?

Here's your java, Mrs. Cooper.

Just the way Betty said you liked it.

Three sugar, extra cream.

-Elizabeth, can I speak to you in the hallway for a moment? -Sure, Mom.

Just a few more laps,

and then we'll brainstorm some ideas

for the talent competition, yeah?

I knew it.

I knew you were gonna try to undermine me somehow.

How am I trying to undermine you?

Midge dropped out,

or more likely, was forced out by you.

Oh.

So now what's wrong with Ethel competing?

What's wrong?

What's wrong is Ethel does not represent the ideals

of Miss Riverdale Teen Queen, not by a country mile.

Why, she's not pregnant.

No, no, she's not.

But she... She has an unsavory history.

Are you talking about what happened with her parents?

Or something else?

Ooh. You are awful, you know that?

I am here

to protect the office of Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

I'm not gonna let you turn this competition

into one of your crusades.

- And whether you believe me or not,

I am also and especially

trying to protect Ethel from the scrutiny

that Miss Riverdale Teen Queen demands.

I'm sorry, but over my dead body

is she going to compete in this pageant--

Mom, Ethel should be Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

She needs and deserves it more than the rest of us.

Think about it for one second, okay?

Ethel is an orphan.

This scholarship may be her only chance to go to college.

-No! -Mom.

And that is final. Ethel is a lovely girl.

But this is not a charity, it's a competition.

And since you made this mess,

you're the one that's gonna tell her

that she has to withdraw from the pageant.

Not me!

- What's the trouble now, Betty?

Well, I got Ethel to sign up for the pageant,

and no surprise, my mom blew a gasket.

She's not letting Ethel compete in Miss Riverdale Teen Queen,

- even though there's an empty slot. - -What?

- Oh, dear. - Golly.

And why doesn't she want Ethel

to drop a nickel in and participate?

It's more of the same.

Ethel doesn't represent the ideal,

blah, blah, blah.

My mom is nuttier than a Christmas fruitcake,

but I'm in it now

and I don't wanna be the one to tell Ethel that she doesn't...

represent the very best of Riverdale.

Imagine what winning this crown would do for her.

Imagine the doors that it would open,

not just in high school, but for the rest of her life.

Honestly, Ethel's got as much chance of winning as I do,

but we're with you, Betty.

What should we do?

Uh, I'm open to ideas, ladies.

Well, I vote we stand together,

link arms and demand Ethel gets chance to compete

or we all withdraw.

Quote it. I'm in, sisters.

This pageant's nowheresville without us teen contestants.

Okay.

I'll go talk to my mom.

Hold the line, Betty.

Thinking it through,

maybe this is one of those times

you go around your mom.

To someone who might be more inclined

to listen to reason...

or threats.

Someone like... my dad?

Exactly.

And maybe you shouldn't go in alone, either.

Maybe you go with a more seasoned negotiator,

who won't get bogged down

in messy, sticky family dynamics.

Like moi.

Okay.

-Mr. Cooper. -Hi, Dad.

Hey, ladies. What's the good word?

May we bend your ear about a few,

let's call them competition parameters,

that we and our fellow pageant contestants have been discussing.

And what would those parameters be?

The first being, Ethel Muggs must be allowed

to participate in the competition.

Okay, let me just stop you girls right there.

I've already gotten an earful about this from Mrs. Cooper,

and I'm afraid that there is just no wiggle-room.

-But Mr. Cooper-- -I'm sorry, girls, truly.

But there is a lot riding on this pageant.

And how we present ourselves to the world

is of the utmost importance, Veronica.

It's funny, Mr. Cooper,

I've been doing a little research

on TV ad spending just for kicks,

including how much money

a live television event can bring in.

Miss Riverdale Teen Queen is going to be huge for RIVW.

We all know that. We all want that.

Also, we're guessing you've already sold

all your commercial spots, am I right?

Which means you're on the hook.

And you can't cash those wonderful checks

unless Miss Riverdale Teen Queen

airs without a hitch.

Okay, what exactly are you two driving at?

Only that

you might find yourself in a precarious position

if all your teen contestants suddenly...

decided to pull out of the pageant.

Which we will, Dad,

if you don't fix it with Mom so that Ethel can compete.

Betty, I--

Okay, fine. I'll see what I can do.

Thank you, Mr. Cooper. That's fantabulous.

And one more thing.

We want the swimsuit promenade cut entirely from the pageant.

What? Why?

That is the judges' favorite segment.

I'm sure,

but frankly, there's just no justifying that outdated

and plainly sexist aspect of the competition.

Especially considering all our judges are men,

and two of them are faculty members at our school.

Don't you concur, Mr. Cooper?

Why do you constantly undermine me, Harold?

And especially on the day of the pageant!

-I... I... I don't-- -Put a sock in it!

You always undercut me. Always.

Which is especially galling

because I have spent the best years of my life

cleaning up after your messes.

Alice, I'm not trying to undermine you.

So what if Ethel wins?

And some nosy Brenda Starr

takes it upon herself to look into her past?

What happens then, Hal?

To us? To our family?

Sweetheart, please, just calm down.

Oh, do not tell me to calm down.

It... It... It doesn't matter if Ethel competes or not.

I mean, you know who the judges are.

There is no way that Ethel

is going to be Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

Come on, you're just making

a mountain out of this molehill.

Oh, you made it a mountain, Hal.

Now come help me with my necklace!

They're not fighting about me, are they?

Oh, no. Not at all.

They're just nervous

about the pageant being live this year.

That's all. Last minute jitters.

Trust me, once the cameras start rolling, they'll be fine.

Now clue me in.

Have you decided on a song for the talent competition yet?

Archie, lay a patch.

It's time for the evening gown promenade!

All right, all right, I'm coming, I'm coming.

Oh, this reminds me of the county fairs back home.

We used to have Miss Duck Creek pageants every spring,

complete with butter-carving competitions.

I can't believe they cut the bathing suit strut.

You really want to see your sister

prancing around like a bathing beauty?

It's kind of pervy, no?

Okay, drop dead, Jones.

Don't you have another comic book to write or something?

As a matter of fact, I don't right now.

Pop, can you turn it up a little?

Kevin's about to sing.

-Welcome back to Miss Riverdale Teen Queen 1955... -Thanks, Pop.

...live from the RIVW stages.

And now, would you please welcome Mr. Kevin Keller,

who will serenade us

during our evening gown promenade.

♪ Some enchanted evening ♪

♪ You may see a stranger... ♪

First up, our reigning Miss Riverdale Teen Queen,

I give you, Miss Cheryl Blossom.

♪ Across

A crowded room ♪

♪ And somehow you know... ♪

Miss Betty Cooper.

♪ You know even then ♪

♪ That somehow You'll see her... ♪

♪ Again and again... ♪

Miss Evelyn Evernever,

and Miss Ethel Muggs.

♪ Some enchanted evening ♪

♪ When you find Your true love ♪

♪ When you Hear her call you... ♪

Miss Veronica Lodge.

♪ Across A crowded room ♪

♪ Then fly to her side ♪

♪ And make her your own... ♪

And finally, Miss Toni Topaz.

♪ Or all through Your life ♪

♪ You may dream all alone ♪

♪ Once you have found her Never let her go ♪

♪ Once you have found her ♪

♪ Never ♪

♪ Let her go ♪

Let's hear it for Mr. Kevin Keller,

but most especially, our lovely ladies.

Don't they look just swell?

Gorgeous.

And that was Miss Veronica Lodge on the tightrope.

Wasn't she the loveliest of lady daredevils?

-Whoa. -Wow.

Wow.

And now performing the original song,

"Who Will Love Me as I Am,"

to end our talent competition,

here is Miss Ethel Muggs.

♪ Like a fish Plucked from the ocean ♪

♪ Tossed into A foreign stream ♪

♪ Always knew That I was different ♪

♪ Often fled into a dream... ♪

Come on.

♪ I ignored The raging currents ♪

♪ Right against The tide I swam ♪

♪ But I floated With the question ♪

♪ Who will love me as I am? ♪

Hot diggity.

Ethel's got a set of pipes.

More than that, she's got star quality.

Oh, sheesh. Is there anything this girl can't do?

I think I'm in love.

♪ Could we bend The laws of nature? ♪

♪ Could a lion love a lamb? ♪

♪ Who could see Beyond this surface? ♪

♪ Who will love me as I am? ♪

♪ Like a clown Whose tears cause laughter ♪

♪ Trapped inside The center ring ♪

♪ Even seeing smiling faces ♪

♪ I am lonely pondering ♪

♪ Who would want To join this madness? ♪

♪ Who would change My monogram? ♪

♪ Who will be Part of my circus? ♪

♪ Who will love me as I am? ♪

♪ Who will ever call To say, "I love you"? ♪

♪ Send me flowers Or a telegram? ♪

♪ Who could proudly Stand beside me? ♪

♪ Who will love me ♪

♪ As I am? ♪

Wow!

Whoo!

Well, it has been a spectacular evening

and everyone is a winner.

But now it is time for our judges

to decide who will be the next

Miss Riverdale Teen Queen.

Fifty cents says it's Veronica.

Who knew she was an acrobat?

Well, I don't know.

Betty's delivery of the Gettysburg Address was stirring stuff.

I'll take anyone as long as it's not my sister.

If there's justice in this world, it'll be Ethel.

I knew we should have made the musical about her.

Looks like our judges have made their decision.

And, as you can see, my lovely wife, Alice,

a former Miss Riverdale Teen Queen herself,

has joined me for the verdict.

I must say, you look absolutely wonderful.

Doesn't she look wonderful, folks?

Oh, stop it. Stop it.

Thank you, dear.

This is my favorite night of the year,

even more than Christmas,

because tonight,

one of these lucky girls' lives

is about to change forever.

And the winner of a brand new car,

a Hollywood screen test, a college scholarship,

and the title

of Miss Riverdale Teen Queen, 1955, is...

Ethel Muggs, everyone.

Ethel Muggs is Miss Riverdale Teen Queen, 1955!

Smile, dear, the world is watching.

Hi, sweetheart.

-Congratulations. -Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Hey, Pop!

Uh, Cheryl said I should be expecting a call any minute.

You go right ahead, young man.

Hello? Midge?

Fangs. Honeybun.

It's so good to hear your voice.

I know, baby.

I miss you.

Me, too.

It happened so fast, Fangs. I... I...

I still can't believe it.

Mrs. Cooper talked to my mom, and the next thing I knew,

I was in the car being driven to the convent.

What are we gonna do?

The same thing that we talked about, Midge.

You just...

You just have to stay strong while you're in there.

I will. You know I will.

And trust me when I say,

we're gonna get through this, Midge,

and we're gonna be a family,

and we're gonna get married,

come hell or high water.

You believe me, don't you?

Of course I do.

With all my heart and soul.

That's my girl.

Oh, Fangs, I...

I love you.

I love you, too.

Mom...

I was just going to get some milk.

Is everything okay?

Is this sour grapes because Ethel won and I lost?

You think you know everything, don't you, Betty?

Open it.

Wait, Ethel didn't win?

That's right.

Your father and the judges were furious

when I read her name instead of yours.

But what could they do?

They couldn't contradict me.

It would have been an embarrassment to them

and the station.

Such are the hazards of live television.

I don't understand.

You...

You wanted Ethel to win after all?

Maybe...

Maybe I truly believe

that Miss Riverdale Teen Queen can change lives,

even a life as broken and hopeless as Ethel's.

Or maybe I just didn't want you to win.

I guess you'll never know.

But know this, Elizabeth,

even with all your do-gooding and grandstanding,

Ethel would have lost.

Her life is gonna be better because of me.

You remember that.

No matter what happens next.

You can say whatever you want to me, Mom.

Downplay,

equivocate.

But you did a decent thing for once.

And I may not understand the reason why,

but I'm choosing to believe that deep down,

you are a kind,

caring,

good person.

You think so, do you?

I do.

And I love you.

♪ The hands of time ♪

♪ Keep turning round ♪

♪ Around and round... ♪

Dear Monica Posh...

Dear Sandy Sapphire...

Dear Coral Peasebottom...

Dear Bitsy Block...

Dear Carrie Carryon...

Dear Edith Cupps...

First, let me begin by saying

you are not alone in this world.

And though it may not feel like it today,

there is hope for a better tomorrow.

In fact, we girls are that hope.