Original subtitles

"A Farce"

sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ addic7ed.com ~

Brother Blood, is nearby, Titans.

If we don't stop him, our beloved city will be destroyed.

Fan out and find him!

He's not in here!

He's not in here either!

All clear!

We have to find him before he destroys the city.

Before I destroy the city?

Brother Blood.

Look upon the damage you have wrought, Titans!

Well, sometimes you have to do what's wrong to do what's right.

This is millions of dollars in property damage.

Enough of the talk!

Don't you see, Titans?

You are the real menace to Jump City.

- And that's why I've lured you here. - Uh, what's lured mean?

It's a fancy way of saying this is a trap.

A trap? Nice one. I did not see that coming.

Up high, BB.

Okay. Up high. Way to go, dude.

Now, it's time for the Teen Titans to answer for their crimes.

What... What is this?

This...

...is the trial of the Titans!

- This is an outrage. - This is a farce!

- Yes, Titans. - Unacceptable.

- Are you done? - Hmm.

All rise, for Judge Brain.

Teen Titans!

You stand accused of the careless destruction of Jump City.

If you are found guilty, you will be sentenced... to death.

- Death? - Oh, that's the worst!

I can handle that.

The prosecution can proceed with its opening statement.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I intend to prove

that the Teen Titans are not the protectors of Jump City,

as they claim. In their pursuit of justice,

they destroy everything in their path

with careless disregard for the safety of the city.

They, not we, are the true villains.

He is the right. We are the monsters!

- We make me sick! - Guilty! So guilty!

Lock us up!

Lock us up! Lock us up!

Quiet! What is wrong with you?

- He made a compelling argument, yo. - You call that compelling?

Then, prepare to have your opinion swayed by a...

♪ Master Orator! ♪

Ladies and gentleman of the jury,

you are being asked to judge us today.

And, I suppose, we're all easy to judge.

Take me, for example.

I'm short. I can be obsessive at times.

My pants are too tight. Sure, my breath is repulsive

and I always smell like I just got back from the gym.

So moist, and yes, I have some back hair, but it's not too much.

I nervously bite my toenails, so they get stuck in my teeth.

I'm so pale, you can see my veins. Look!

Look at my veins!

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, look at my veins!

I don't know what it's like to love.

Or to be loved...

That's why I go to bed at night, wondering if

I'm going to die alone and of course, I will.

Anyway...

Where was I going with this? Oh, right.

You can't handle the truth! Thank you.

Ah, I think I won them over.

The prosecution may call the first witness.

The prosecution calls Starfire, Your Honor.

Oh, friends. What if I say the incorrect wordings?

We're the heroes here, Star. We have nothing to hide.

Just be honest.

Tell me, Starfire, do the Titans cause

unnecessary damage, when fighting crime?

Oh, very much, yes.

- Too honest! - Your witness.

Ms. Starfire. I have only one question

for you and remember you are under oath.

- Will you go out with me? - No.

And yet, you went out with me the other day.

- Did you not? - As the friends.

Am I really to believe it wasn't as, "More than friends?"

- Yes. - And yet, on that same day,

you touched my elbow.

- That is true. - Then just tell the truth.

Do you love me, Star?

- Platonically. - Answer the question!

Do you love me?

- Like the brother. - Answer the question!

- Do you love me? - Objection!

On what grounds?

On the grounds that this is just embarrassing for everyone.

Sustained. Yikes.

No further questions, Your Honor.

The defense may proceed.

Your Honor, I would like to call a character witness.

- Beast Boy. - Oh, only if my man, Cyborg, comes too.

- You can't do that. - Your Honor,

will you tell this fool we is a package deal.

They are a packaged deal, counsel. Proceed.

Whoo! Let's take the stand, baby.

Uh! Yeah!

Uh-huh, that's how we do it. I'm gonna tell the truth.

And nothing but the truth, so help me, help me, help me.

Beast Boy, as a character witness

you would say the Titans are good people? Correct?

Um, I would say four out of the five Titans are good people.

Wouldn't you agree, Cy?

I believe that is an accurate statement, yes.

Four of the five?

Well, there's one Titan, and I'm not naming names,

but his name is Robin, and he's a real butt sometimes.

Objection!

You cannot object. They are your witnesses.

Oh, you can't object, Robin.

Order in the court!

I'll have a cheeseburger and fries! Oh!

- Order! - Give me a strawberry shake!

Oh!

Shake it, shake it shake it!

We will take a short recess.

I think it's going well out there.

- It has been the good life, friends. - We had a solid run.

I'm gonna miss you so much, little buddy.

Oh, bro. I love you and I'll always love you.

Keep it together, Titans. I've got an ace up my sleeve.

I've seen enough courtroom drama movies to know juries

don't care about facts. They just want a good show.

And that's what I'm going to give them.

How are you going to put on a show, bro?

- Can you do a New York accent? - What's it to you?

And do you know anything about cars?

Yeah. My grandfather was a mechanic.

My two uncles were mechanics, and my father was a mechanic,

before he became an interdimensional demon.

Great. Just follow my lead.

So, Robin, are you ready to confess to your crimes?

Never.

Your Honor, I'd like to call one last witness.

Raven.

Ms. Raven. Can you tell me what this is?

It's a 1971 Skyhawk.

- Don't forget the accent. - Oh.

It's a 1971 Skyhawk.

And is there any way that this car made these tire marks?

Absolutely not.

Ha-ha. I find it hard to believe you can know that,

- just by looking at these pictures. - Would you like me to explain?

- Ooh, I would love to hear this. - Objection. This is irrelevant.

Overruled! I'd like to see where this is going.

There's no way a 1971 Skyhawk made those tire marks.

See how they're uniform and flat?

How could she tell all that just by looking at a picture?

Who cares! The jury is eating this up.

Look at the chemistry. This is entertainment.

...only one other car had the same body,

weight and wheel base as the Skyhawk.

And that was, the Enfield Hurricane.

Thank you, Raven.

No more questions.

The jury has reached a decision.

I did it!

Guilty.

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