Original subtitles

"Squash and Stretch"

sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ addic7ed.com ~

Warm sun, cool breeze. The perfect day.

You said it, bro.

Mmm! These nuts are so good.

Well, that's 'cause I'm a nut mixologist!

That's right, Ray. All the good stuff.

That's how you do nuts, yo!

Where did the mixed varietals of nuts and legumes go?

Squirrel. Return our nuts, or face the consequences.

How dare you? This indignity will not stand!

Titans, go!

Bested by a filthy rodent!

This is an all-time low for the Teen Titans.

He's still giving us the business!

Titans! Let's hear some revenge fantasies!

Uh, let's throw him in a cauldron and boil him alive!

I wish to separate his molecules with the Ray of Disintegration!

I just wanna stuff the old shablamo down his throat

and sha-blow up his whole face!

Bite him, bite him, bite him all over!

Yes! Yes!

Let's do it! Let's destroy that furry piece of trash!

Alas, Beast Boy, we live in a world that frowns upon violence.

Then, we can't pummel that squirrel in bloody revenge?

Not with society's adherence to the ideals of pacifism.

Hold up! I thought society was cool with violence

as long as it was funny.

How could violence ever be "funny," Cyborg?

You sound like a crazy person.

- Wow, real sick, Cyborg. - No, look.

Guess what? You're laughing at violence.

You're right.

But that's a cartoon. Real-life violence isn't funny. Right?

Only one way to find out.

- Hey, Robin. - Yes?

Wagamapow!

Hey!

Huh, not funny.

Hmm, maybe you didn't hit him right.

Wait...

My teeth! My teeth!

Hmm, perhaps repetition is the key to the laughters.

Huh, this isn't funny. He just sits there and cries.

Why? We're all supposed to be friends!

Why me?

So, why is violence funny in cartoons but not in real life?

Oh! It's because Robin's head didn't spin around

and make crazy noises when we hit him.

So, if we wish to get the bloody revenge against the squirrel

in a socially acceptable manner, we have to do it

- as the "cartoonies"? - Exactly.

If we become silly cartoons, won't we lose our depth?

It's either that, or the squirrel wins.

Never!

I never thought I'd admit this, Cyborg,

but the Teen Titans are way better as silly cartoons!

Who would have thought we could translate so seamlessly into raw comedy?

It feels good not to be weighed down by character development, yo!

I believe this is the definitive

incarnation of the Teen Titans.

While everyone can agree that this has been a change for the better...

...we still got a job to do.

Squirrel!

You wanna hit it with a mallet, don't ya?

Yes!

You wanna shove a stick of dynamite down his throat, don't ya?

Oh, yeah!

You wanna drop an anvil on his head, don't ya?

Yes!

Well, now that we're hilarious cartoons, we can do all that horrible stuff.

That squirrel keeps gettin' the best of us.

Every time we attempt to violence the squirrel,

- we are violenced instead. - Why is this happening?

I know! We're silly cartoons now.

And in this type of cartoon, the hunter never catches the prey!

Think about it!

Oh!

Like the cat never catches the fish, ever!

- That's right! - Then, we shall never get

- our socially acceptable bloody revenge? - Not by being funny.

Is there another socially acceptable form of cartoon violence?

Only one. Where violence is delivered in the name of justice!

You mean action cartoons?

We about to get some justice, yo!

Booyah!

Transformation complete. Now, we can defeat the evil

Megasquirrel and retrieve the lost nuts of Snackonia.

Titans, battle stations.

Megasquirrel located.

Fire quad lasers!

The quad lasers had no effect.

Power reserves down to 60%.

Megasquirrel is too powerful.

It's time to form Zolton! Energize interlocks!

Interlocks energized!

Form infernal sphere!

We have secured the nut mix!

Awesome! Great job! Wonderful!

Aha! Good job, Titans.

The Megasquirrel has been defeated

and we are all champions. Aha!

A great justice has been done here today, ha!

In the eyes of society, we are righteous.

Oh, no! The squirrel.

It is not making the breaths.

We went too far. And for what, a bowl of nuts?

I see now that violence is never acceptable,

regardless of its nature.

This tear burns as it rolls down my cheek.

Ain't I a stinker?

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ addic7ed.com ~