All language subtitles for Almost Paradise s02e08 Uncoupled.eng

[sighs] Lourdes, we have decided.
No more money.

Don't you see? These people
have brainwashed you.

[Lourdes]
But I need money to live, Mother.

[Reyna] No.
Your father and I are firm on this.

If you refuse to give support,

then I have no choice
but to cut off all communication.

Sweetheart, don't say that! We love you!

-We just want you back home.
-[Lourdes] This is my home.

I'm loved here for who I am
and together with these people,

I'm going to heal the world.

Goodbye, Nanay.

[call disconnects]

I'm proud of you.
Aren't we all proud of her?

Lourdes, in this place,
your dreams can come true.

You are ready for the next level.

Welcome to the inner circle,

the Camarilla.

[applause]

My name is Alex Walker.
I'm ex-DEA.

One of my first assignments
took me to an isolated beach

right here on this island.

I sold what little I had
and bought a gift shop.

Just peace, no stress, no drama.

Boy, was I wrong.

[theme music playing]

Ah, Detective Mendoza.

I'm not here on official business.
Please, call me Kai.

We so appreciate you coming.

I hear your friends of Chief Ocampo's.
He said you needed some help?

Ike and I went to college together.
We're like brothers.

Oh, well, that's good enough for me.

Though he was a little mysterious.
He said he couldn't be directly involved.

Oh, I'm sorry. Please have a seat.

We have a lot to show you.

When you say "holding," do you mean
forcibly against her will?

It's worse than that.
They brainwashed her.

This group finds vulnerable women
and targets their families financially.

How did she get involved
in the first place?

Our daughter had a bad breakup.
She was floundering.

I heard of this place, Hiraya,

could build back
a young woman's self-esteem.

It's expensive. We thought we were
helping her when we sent her there.

It's supposed to be a 10-day workshop.

It's been almost five months!

Every week she asks for more money.
We aren't even allowed to visit.

She refuses to come home!

The young women there, they seem
to be under the spell of this man.

Winston Strong.

She's on a private island
outside of our jurisdiction.

I'm not sure what I can do for you.

Ike Ocampo, he says you're smart

and unconventional.

[Laurence] We would like to pay
to send you to Hiraya.

They are offering a couples retreat
that starts this weekend.

You could go undercover,
just to see if our daughter is okay.

Please help us, Detective Mendoza...

Kai...

She's everything to us.

Welcome to the--

Lockhart?

In the flesh--
uh, boardshorts.

What are you doing here? What do you want?
Are you on another extradition?

Is that any way to greet an old friend?

An old friend?

If I remember correctly,
the last time we spoke on the phone,

you weren't all warm and fuzzy.

You know I have to put on
a show for the brass.

You remember how they are in D.C.

I do.

Why are you here?

It's a personal trip.

You brought your new girl.
What's her name? Trudy.

Are you gonna propose?

How do you--

Maybe. We'll see.

[door opens]

We booked a special excursion weekend.
If all goes well...

-Hey, look who it is.
-Lockhart, is that you?

-Kai! [chuckles]
-Hi.

I never expected you to be back in Mactan,

especially after spending the night
underwater in a jail cell.

Yeah. Good times.

I like the glasses. New look?

Oh, yes, thank you.
Uh, Trudy picked them out.

New girlfriend.

Oh, wow! Where is she?

Oh, she's at the spa.
I can't seem to get her out of there.

I think she's on her
third massage there today.

You should go hang out with her.
Get a couples massage. [gasps]

No, no,
I don't like strangers touching me.

Anyway, I just wanted to say hi.

Hey, if all goes well,

then maybe we'll have
a celebratory dinner later, huh?

I can't wait for you guys to meet her.

-[door closes]
-Lockhart...

is here.

The stories of the women that got out
sound like sex trafficking.

Yeah, it's gotta be horrible
losing your child to a cult.

Where do I fit in?

They're offering
a high-end couples retreat this weekend.

-Couples retreat?
-Yeah.

Lourdes' parents want to pay for me to go
undercover to check up on their daughter.

And... well...

You want me to go on a couples retreat?

With you?

I'm asking you to help me
find out if this woman is in danger.

Mm-hmm.
Why didn't you ask Ernesto?

-We couldn't pull it off.
-But you and I can pull it off?

Alex, I have seen you in action.
You can fool anybody.

You realize it's--It's gonna be...
me and you?

-Together... as a couple.
-Yeah.

Who knows, Alex, maybe you can learn
something about relationships.

Wh-What?! What about you?

What about me?

I-If I'm the only one you could think of
to go with you on a couples retreat...

Alex, you are an undercover specialist.

Okay? I am asking you purely
as one professional to another.

Still, you could pick up a few tips, huh?
Don't you think?

I'm not looking
for relationship tips, okay?

This girl might be in trouble.

-I'm in.
-You are?

Yeah.

Who knows, maybe we'll both
learn something.

Ah-ha.

Okay. [laughs]

I have to say, you two look like--

Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn.

No, no, this other--

No, don't finish that thought.

Okay, seriously. what do you plan on doing
if this young woman is in trouble?

We need to get her out of there.

And if she doesn't want to leave?

Listen, in my opinion,

cult members are the same
as drug cartel soldiers, all right?

They have unquestioning loyalty
to a charismatic leader.

You gotta gain their trust,
get their critical thinking going.

And if that doesn't work,
you can't just kidnap her. Hmm?

That sounds very definitive. Doesn't he
always say, "Life has many colors"?

-Not when it comes to the law, Alex.
-All right.

Look, nobody's kidnapping anybody.

Okay.

I only promised her parents
to give her an assessment.

Look, Ernesto, relax, man.
You got the boat for the weekend.

You don't have to worry about us.

-Do I look worried? Do I look worried?
-No.

Just make sure to be back on Sunday
to pick us up, okay?

Yeah, look, just take care of her, okay?
Don't stress her out.

Funny, I was gonna tell
you the same thing.

-Heads up!
-Mm-hmm.

[exhales deeply]

Welcome to Hiraya.

Oh, wow. Deep gratitude and blessings.

Welcome to Hiraya.

Ah, well,

may the cave I fear to enter
hold the light I long to seek.

Yeah.

Hello. Hi. Hello.

Hey.

[indistinct chatter]

I thought you said there'd be cocktails.

[grunts]

What is he doing here?

[stammers] I don't know.
I didn't invite him!

It looks like his dog just died.

He said he was coming here
with his new girlfriend

to go on some fancy couples retreat.

We need to get to him
before he blows our cover.

Go, go.

-Lockhart.
-What are you two doing here?

Oh, I had no idea
the two of you were--

Act like we just met.
We're on an assignment.

Where is Trudy?

[scoffs]

What?

I was waiting for her on the dock

when a messenger
from the hotel arrives

and gives me this.

We're not even here 24 hours and she
runs off with the massage therapist?

I mean, seriously?

I'm so sorry, Lockhart.

You came on the retreat anyway?

It was a non-refundable ticket.

Wait, do you guys need my help?

No, no, no. Just pretend we're all guests.
We can handle it.

Good, 'cause I'm a mess.

[gong sounds]

Welcome to Hiraya,

and a life-changing weekend
for all of you.

Now, I know you're all anxious
to meet Winston and get started.

But before we begin,
the staff will pass by with baskets.

Please place your cell phones in there.

The goal is to be completely present

in the Hiraya experience.

Why does a love guru
need armed guards?

[suspenseful music playing]

-Prana-masana!
-[women] Prana-masana!

[Janice] So, you've all met the women
of the Camarilla,

and the men of the Protectorate.

The Protectorate?

And now, it is my honor to introduce
the sun to our moon,

the sky to our ocean,

the founder of Hiraya...
Winston Strong.

[applause]

Welcome.

We are here on this retreat to celebrate

L-O-V-E.

Love.

We are all on this earth
in a search to find our person,

and you are here because you've already
made that connection.

Please, turn and acknowledge
your special person.

Um...

What if your fianc� dumped you
for the shiatsu guy at the spa?

Then you're exactly where you need to be.

As is she.

You must work on
your relationship with yourself.

Embrace your inner duality.

I'm my own couple?

Ha. So wise.

Please repeat to your partner,
�I want you. I need you."

[all]
I want you. I need you.

I want you. I need you.

Now, tell your partner something
you truly love about them.

Men, start.

[indistinct chatter]

Your eternal brightness, uh...

illuminates everyone you meet.

Cut the bullshit. Be real.
Say something real.

Okay.

You always seem to surprise me.

You're not like any woman I've ever met.

You have the biggest heart,

yet you are stronger, tougher,

than I've ever imagined.

You honestly inspire me.

Now, the women.

Wow, that was--

No, now you have to say
something back to me.

-He can't hear us from over there.
-You have to say something back to me.

You can't think of one nice thing
to say about me?

-[Winston] That was excellent, every one.
-No, no.

Please, join hands.

I want you to feel the power
of physical touch.

Shut your eyes.

Feel the vibrations
of your chosen partner.

In order for this to work,
you must let go of control.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Winston breathing heavily]

That was intense. Am I right?

We will now break from our loved ones

and separate into our
first gendered intensive.

Men, you will go with
the Protectorate into the jungle

to connect to the vital elements
of masculinity.

Strength, courage,
leadership,

independence,
and assertiveness.

Women, you will join Janice

to celebrate nurturance,

sensitivity, supportiveness,

and cooperativeness.

I will join you to supervise.

I don't know how I feel about that.

Settle down. This is about Lourdes.

It's an opportunity to get close.

Men, you'll be led by Erik,
the head of our Protectorate.

Your work will be in the jungle.

Women, follow us
to the Togetherness Tent.

Maybe you can think of something nice
to say about me. Might be fair.

[grinding sound]

[explosion]

[engine shuts off]

[grunting]

Alex!

-[beeps]
-No.

Radio. Let's radio.

[grunts] Okay.

All right. Okay, how do you work this?

[static, buzzing]

Oh, no.

Oh, come on now.

[sighs]

Our first exercise will amplify
the male instinct to protect.

Just using a weapon
elevates our hormone levels.

For real?

Tapping into your warrior core
raises your testosterone.

That's just a fact.

[screams]

[screams]

That's how it's done!
That target is your enemy.

If you do not stop the intruder,
he will kidnap and violate your woman.

-Does that happen a lot around here?
-[men chuckle]

You go last.

-Who's first?
-Oh! I wanna throw a sharp thing.

[grunts] Oh, God! Oh, Jesus!
It was heavier than I thought.

Are you all right?

I feel your hostility.

You've been abused by a woman.

Yes!

-And you need to vent it.
-I do.

Then focus.

If you need to,
verbalize your intent to dominate.

[inhales, screams]

[both scream]

[screams]

All right, well, too much distance,
but it was straight.

You saw that, right?

[screams]

[grunts] Yeah!

[applause]

Are you okay, man?

Yeah, I think having Winston
as my spirit guru

is exactly what I need
in my life right now.

-[Dan chuckles] Yeah!
-[cheering and applause]

[slurping]

Oh, wow, I could get used to this.

Um, excuse me.
How long have you been with Hiraya?

[Monique] Lourdes.

I think they're forbidden to talk
to anyone outside of the Camarilla.

Really? Interesting.

[gong sounds]

Ladies, what you're
experiencing right now,

this level of care and comfort,

is what you deserve.

As you enjoy being taken care of,
try and connect to desire...

to what makes you feel good.

Now, imagine making
your partner feel that way.

[suspenseful music playing]

This is our last exercise for today.

When you return to your tents,
you'll find your dinner waiting.

Eat.

Discuss what you've learned here today.

Now, please blindfold your partner.
This is about sensuality.

Help your blindfolded partner
to explore

new tactile experiences and the textures
of the environment around you.

I think only one or two
of these Protectorate guys

actually has any real training.

They shouldn't be a problem.

I'd argue that having untrained
armed guards is more problematic.

Fair. What I'm saying is, I think
they're just full of toxic masculinity

and not really any bite.

The women are fed subservience
disguised as empowerment.

They're not even allowed
to talk to outsiders.

I can't even get through to Lourdes,

and I'm getting major predator vibes
from Winston.

[whispering]

[continues whispering]

What I can't see can't hurt me.

[grunts]

Alex? Kai?

Anyone? Help! Somebody!

Come on! Oh, Come on!

Alex? Kai? What was that?

Anyone? [grunts]

Ah! [groans]

[suspenseful music playing]

[whistles]

[Kai]
One bed? This is awkward.

I'll say.

Well, we're both adults.

Well... that's the nicest thing
you ever said to me.

[gasps]

Oh, my God. How long was I out?

Days? Weeks?

Wait...

Okay, no growth, so same day,
or, um, night.

Night! Oh, Jesus.

I'm gonna need shelter.

This is how people die out in the jungle.

[laughs] Okay!

I have a tool now. I can do this.

I've seen Naked and Afraid.

Yeah.

[grunting]

[grunting]

[branches breaking]

Oh, no.

[grunts]

[muffled] I'm all right.

I wonder how Lockhart's doing.
I didn't see him at dinner.

He's probably reading everything
Winston ever wrote.

I think he's under his spell.

What did we learn today?

That I'm not a fan of soy milk donuts.

You know, it's gonna be pretty tough
to get Lourdes to open up.

He's got some spell on all of 'em.

Hopefully tomorrow, I'll be able
to steal some time alone with her.

You know, win her over.

Get some rest.
You did all you could do today.

Alex?

Hmm?

You surprise me, too.

And...

you inspire me.

You know...

I was thinking...

Yeah?

[Monique] Request to enter
your sacred space?

Come in.

Winston is requesting for you
to join him in his meditation circle.

You know what? We're good.
We're just gonna, um, relax a little bit.

The invitation is just for the lady.

Goodness, I'm so honored.

Can you give me a minute?

Of course.

This could be my chance
to talk to Lourdes.

Mm-hmm.

[grunts]

Hey, you got this.

-Why is she here?
-She was requested by his grace.

But isn't it my special night?

Your time will come.

I don't wanna cause any trouble.

Please, do not pay attention
to any discordant voices.

Let us prepare you.

Prepare me? For what?

Come. Sit by my side.

I'll sit here. [chuckles]

[Winston] You're a woman
of very special grace and beauty.

How is it I'm invited to join
your inner circle so soon?

You're the kind of woman that doesn't need
to ascend in the traditional Hirayan way.

What are the steps exactly?

The first step is accepting something
is terribly wrong with your husband.

No, that's not true.

There's a violence in him.

A real darkness.

How can you see that?

His eyes are spiritually dead.

I can see that it's broken between you.

My husband and I have a true bond.

A real partnership.

I don't believe you.

What would you say if I offered you
a chance for a new life?

I'd say I'm going back to my tent now.

I wouldn't do that.

Are you one of those women
who like a struggle?

Get off of me right now.

[Winston groans]

No, I'm one of these kind of women.

You can't leave! Do you know who I am?!

Well done. Nice work.

-Were you--?
-I was right outside the tent.

I couldn't see much,
but I heard everything.

He doesn't even try to hide it.
He's a down-low, creepy sex offender.

Well, he offended the wrong woman
this time, didn't he?

He finds young, na�ve women like Lourdes

and grooms them to be
his physical property.

And the women who work for him
are nothing but his harem.

We need to get Lourdes
out of here.

Well, that might be a little tough
to get close to her now

because he's gonna be on his guard.

Why? You think I reacted too strongly?
I think I showed restraint.

I should've broken his arms!

That was restraint, huh? Taking him
all the way down to the canvas?

Damn it. Think I blew our cover?

[woman screams]

[dramatic music playing]

[Kai] Lourdes?

You!

[Alex] Lourdes...

Put the knife down.

Put the knife down.

[knife clatters]

-There's no pulse.
-Oh, he's dead.

Winston! No! [sobbing]

You! You did this!

Men! Take her.

No! No!

Why did you go see him?!
It was supposed to be me!

You killed him because you were jealous?!

Oh!

Contact the appropriate authorities.
Let them know there's been a murder.

Do not divulge anything more than that.

Keep her here. Do not let her leave.

The rest of you
are confined to your tents.

You can't make all of us prisoners.

Make sure nobody leaves their quarters.

And no discussions between the couples.

Take them away, please.

-You think I should make myself known?
-No, not yet. Something's not right here.

We might know more
if we lay low a little longer.

So what's not adding up here?

Well, there's a few things.

I mean, the murder weapon
was an M3 fighting knife, U.S. Army.

It was World War II era. It's not rare,
but it's not the usual choice for a woman.

And where did she get it?

[Kai]
She was holding it blade down.

The wound appeared to be
from an upward strike,

which means
she'd be holding the blade like this.

Yeah, exactly.

Like somebody who knew how
to handle a knife would do it.

Well, that's not Lourdes.

Another thing, Lourdes' reaction
to when I was selected,

it wasn't rage or even jealousy,
it was disappointment.

She wanted to be with Winston.

Well, that guy, you know,
he was looking to--He wanted to...

get jiggy.

-No, don't ever use that expression.
-I know, I'm sorry. I'm not gonna...

[grunts]

But I agree with you
that something's not right.

A few things have struck me as odd
with the other couples.

We gotta find out who these people are.

-Their cell phones are in the office.
-Their applications are in the office.

We gotta find a way
to get into that office.

-How did you get those?
-I lifted it when I checked his pulse.

Before I noticed something wasn't right?

I said I agreed with you.
I didn't say I didn't notice it first.

-[owls hooting]
-[insects chirping]

Ah! Splinter!
Damn it! Ow!

[grunts]

I forgot I had those!
[laughs]

Oh, baby.

[laughs]

Come on. Come on.
Come to papa. Come to papa.

I... have... fire!

[laughs]

[howls]

Starting rounds now.

[suspenseful music playing]

Alex, it's so neat.

[computer chimes]

It's asking for a password
or facial recognition.

Bazinga.

Is that even a word?

You've never heard "bazinga"?

What would you prefer?
"Cowabunga"?

"Gnarly"?

Here's information on everyone

who's ever done
a personal development seminar.

Look at the last entry.
It's all of us.

What do they got on Dan and Heidi?

[Kai] There's something
not right about those two.

No, it's not.
The man can throw an axe.

I mean, better than the other cats
that were out there.

This whole thing started off
as a multi-level marketing company.

I mean, this whole file
is on just Monique.

They've been soaking her family
for, like, the last five years.

These are all monetary figures and dates.

Look at that.
Monique has a stepsister named Heidi.

At the very least, we need
to take down this racket.

Hey, come look at this.

Come and look at this picture.

What are you doing?

What am I doing?

I'm making a murder board.

[radio crackles, static]

[woman over radio]
We have an aerial report of a boat adrift.

Identify yourself
if you need maritime assistance.

[ship horn blows]

Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

-[static]
-Come on, work. Work!

Trawler, this is Albatross... [coughs]

This is Albatross
in need of assistance. Over.

[woman over radio]
Small craft, trawler approaching.

Whoo-hoo!

[exhales deeply]

I wonder if they have some green tea.

Hmm.

So, if our suspect couple, the loofah,
was in their tent at the time...

And the mouthwash person
didn't arrive till after.

Then the coffee mug
can't be the murderer, which means...

-[door bursts open]
-[guard] Freeze!

Detective Kai Mendoza, Mactan P.D.

I'm ex-DEA Agent Alex Walker,
and I'm with her.

[both] We know who killed
Winston Strong.

Contrary to what you've been told,
Lourdes did not kill Winston Strong.

But one of you in this room is a murderer.

I've always wanted to say that.

Now, here's the order of events
before the crime.

Monique escorted me
to Winston's personal quarters

just before midnight.

I followed, and as Kai entered the yurt,
I saw Monique leave.

Wait, why did you follow them?

If someone summoned your spouse
in the dead of night,

wouldn't you do the same?

The women of the Camarilla
all confirm Monique's return.

And Monique confirmed
that Lourdes was there

and didn't leave for several minutes.

You see, I was outside
listening to Winston and Kai talk,

and as Kai rushed out,
Winston screamed as she left,

but remained inside.

[Kai] I walked south, and Alex joined me
approximately 20 meters from the yurt.

And that is when we heard Lourdes scream.

Alex and I then rushed back to find
Lourdes kneeling over the body.

But she was holding the knife in her hand.

She was holding it tip down, as someone
would do if they pulled the knife out.

Also, Lourdes didn't have
any blood on her body...

except on her palms
when grabbing the knife.

You see,
Lourdes' scream was of discovery

when she found Winston dead.

The killer entered right after I left,
stabbed Winston,

and then left
right before Lourdes arrived.

Dan has both motive and ability.

Dan is a hunter and a survivalist.

Dan and Heidi are not
what they appear to be.

Heidi's stepsister
is Camarilla member Monique.

Who has been on this island
for the last two years.

[Alex] You see, Dan and Heidi came here
to free Monique from Hiraya.

Motive for murder?

Maybe.

However, they got an alibi.

Two of the Protectorate
observed them in their tent.

In fact, all the guests have an alibi
and no motive.

[Alex] And the same goes for
all of the women of Camarilla,

other than Lourdes.

No motive, and their whereabouts
can be accounted for.

Janice, too, can be eliminated.

She was with the night guards
at the time of Winston's death.

However, she's guilty of crimes.
Many, many--

No, more on that later.

The three night guards
who were with Janice are also cleared.

Which leaves only one more.

Someone who had the opportunity,
the ability...

and a clear motive.

[dramatic music playing]

Why would I kill someone
I swore to protect?

Erik killed Winston because of Janice.

You see, Janice and Winston
were running Hiraya like a Ponzi scheme.

They were making money hand over fist.

[Kai] But Winston's
insatiable appetite for women

was jeopardizing the entire operation.

You see,
Winston was spending lavishly

on trophy properties
in countries all over the world.

He was spending a fortune
hiring lawyers to harass former members.

You see, Janice wanted Winston dead.

He was blowing through all the money
they made, half of which was hers.

Why would Erik do that for Janice?

Because Erik is Janice's husband.

[all gasp]

Correction, he's my ex-husband.

I guess Winston seduced you away
from Erik, what, a decade ago?

See, I recognized you guys both in
the group photo on the wall in the office.

You became CFO, co-founder.

I was relegated to march
in Winston's little army.

You chose to serve him that way.

No, Winston gave me a choice,
join the Protectorate or leave Hiraya.

No! He told me you wanted to leave.

Winston said he came up
with the Protectorate

so you would have a reason to stay.

He has tricked and manipulated
every single one of you

to get exactly what he wants.

But look who has the power now.

My only regret is not
framing you properly.

And you, if your husband
hadn't followed you--

-No, we're not married.
-We're not married.

Janice, we got the money that we need now.

[sighs]

We can do this together.

[guns cocking]

Okay, all right.

[women screaming]

[suspenseful music playing]

As the Protectorate's Armorer,

I have removed all the firing pins
from the guns.

All except mine.

You think I'd let these fools carry
working guns when I killed the boss?

Janice, you and me,
we got another chance.

We can make a choice.

Erik, leave the girl and go.

Go!

To hell with you, then!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey.

-[whimpers]
-Go.

Go!

[rock music playing]

Where did he go?!

Alex? Kai?

-Lockhart?
-What the hell are you doing?

Oh, this weekend is amazing!
I found my inner warrior.

I'm a new man. Winston is a genius.

-Winston's dead.
-What?

-And the killer's getting away!
-The guy in the golf cart?

He must be going to the other side
of the island where I found that boat.

Wait, he's gonna have to cut through
Activity Circle to get there.

This way! I know a shortcut!

How do you know a shortcut?

This jungle is mine!

[rock music playing]

[screams]

Get out of my way!

[both grunting]

Get her back to the encampment.

His gun went flying that way.

[grunts]

[both grunting]

Drop it!

[grunting]

[groans]

[indistinct police radio chatter]

Who knew that my rescuers
were on their way here?

Hey, I guess you made it
to the couples retreat after all.

Yeah.

[sniffles]

I just wanna thank you. I...

I'm sure my parents would want to as well.

I'm so ashamed.
I've made so many mistakes.

And I don't know how I can face them.

It'll take some time,
but you'll get there.

Relationships with parents
can be complicated.

All relationships are complicated.

Anybody that says differently
is selling you something.

You ready?

[soft music playing]

[Reyna] Lourdes?

[sobbing]

My heart.

Thank you. Thank you.

[laughs] Hey. Here's to Kai.

Dismantler of cults.

[bottles clink]

I'm really sorry
that you got stranded, man.

Nah, it was an adventure.
I'm always up for that.

It's always an adventure
whenever I come to visit you guys.

[laughs]

Hey, I just wanna say, it really meant
a lot to me what you said about me

during that exercise.

Thank you.

Well, you know, it was a--
I was just playing a role.

You know, like you said,
undercover specialist.

However, what you said in the bed--

In--In the bed?

See, that was sincere. Thank you.

No, it wasn't.
I was, uh, just trying to be nice.

I didn't want to hurt
your feelings, is all.

No, I don't think so.

Look at you two. What a team.

It's like, uh, Nick and Nora,
Hart to Hart.

Maybe like Cagney and Lacey?

-Cagney and Lacey were both women.
-No, they weren't.

-Oh, yes. I think they were.
-[Alex] No.

Cagney was a little Italian guy
with a parrot on his shoulder.

That was Baretta.

Baretta? Baretta's bald with a lollipop!

This is before my time.

-That was Kojak.
-Kojak?

-Yeah.
-Telly Savalas?

That's Jennifer Aniston's godfather,
by the way.

[theme music playing]

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