Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,355 --> 00:00:09,355
Sub original par C-ligne: www.forom.com
Synchro modifiйe DVD: jrzac
2
00:00:20,656 --> 00:00:23,371
I feel a happy person.
I feel a happy person.
3
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:39,110
Oh, this is such an honor
4
00:00:39,145 --> 00:00:40,522
I thought we choose Whip.
5
00:00:40,722 --> 00:00:42,721
You did. But it turns out.
6
00:00:42,859 --> 00:00:45,444
You have to be over 18
to qualify for the award.
7
00:00:45,506 --> 00:00:46,988
And who made that rule?
8
00:00:47,057 --> 00:00:49,504
Who do you think?!
Her majesty, queen Gus.
9
00:00:50,814 --> 00:00:52,641
If nobody else appreciates me,
10
00:00:52,645 --> 00:00:54,395
at least I appreciate me.
11
00:00:54,423 --> 00:00:55,835
You've got fucken Mail.
12
00:00:55,879 --> 00:00:57,291
Who would ever email you?
13
00:00:57,545 --> 00:00:59,352
It's all crap mail.
14
00:01:00,877 --> 00:01:03,475
Oh, no! A message from Gramps.
15
00:01:03,538 --> 00:01:05,035
Benito's still alive?
16
00:01:05,091 --> 00:01:06,475
He's got to be ancient.
17
00:01:06,624 --> 00:01:07,838
Yeah, you're telling me.
18
00:01:07,895 --> 00:01:09,730
He was a veteran of the big bang!
19
00:01:09,815 --> 00:01:13,288
Last I heard he was cruising the galaxy
in his space camper.
20
00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:14,478
What's he look like?
21
00:01:14,534 --> 00:01:17,471
I happen to find older men really hot.
22
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:19,980
If only they felt the same way.
23
00:01:20,015 --> 00:01:21,257
Aren't you going to open it?
24
00:01:21,330 --> 00:01:23,046
What if something happened to him?
25
00:01:23,175 --> 00:01:24,545
Oh yeah, you're right!
26
00:01:24,614 --> 00:01:26,243
Maybe he finally kicked the bucket,
27
00:01:26,278 --> 00:01:27,577
left me some dough!
28
00:01:28,318 --> 00:01:29,836
Is this thing on?
29
00:01:30,102 --> 00:01:32,762
Hey there, Chode. It's Grandpa.
30
00:01:32,818 --> 00:01:34,892
According to my onstar thingy,
31
00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:37,003
I'm almost in your neck of the galaxy.
32
00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:39,484
I figured I'd stop in and spend a few days.
33
00:01:39,615 --> 00:01:41,726
If it's a problem, le'me know.
34
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,726
Otherwise I'll see ya when I see ya.
35
00:01:44,208 --> 00:01:45,986
Like I've got an option here.
36
00:01:46,014 --> 00:01:47,199
I'm running on fumes...
37
00:01:47,236 --> 00:01:49,310
and if I don't empty this porta-potty soon,
38
00:01:49,330 --> 00:01:51,070
I'll be up to my eyeballs in--
39
00:01:51,330 --> 00:01:53,033
No, no! He can't stay here.
40
00:01:53,218 --> 00:01:54,478
Why not?
41
00:01:54,562 --> 00:01:55,785
He looks kinda cute.
42
00:01:56,007 --> 00:01:58,525
I could imagine myself having sex with him.
43
00:01:58,933 --> 00:02:02,896
You did say that walkin' corpse
was loaded didn't you?!
44
00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:05,368
Don't get your hopes up, Anna Nicole!
45
00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:07,314
I'm sending him an instant message
46
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:10,203
saying now's not a good time to drop by.
47
00:02:10,204 --> 00:02:12,466
.
48
00:02:13,778 --> 00:02:16,667
I see where you inherited your keen wit and intellect.
49
00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:19,000
Ok. Let's not panic here.
50
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,908
Maybe Gramps won't be able to find us
51
00:02:20,982 --> 00:02:22,784
if Bob can get the ship to go stealth.
52
00:02:22,825 --> 00:02:25,204
Sorry, Captain. But the stealth is still broken.
53
00:02:25,594 --> 00:02:28,187
Broken?! What the fuck Gus!
54
00:02:28,372 --> 00:02:31,594
I oughta rip your head off and use it as a doorstop!
55
00:02:31,627 --> 00:02:33,481
You spent the stealth repair money
56
00:02:33,516 --> 00:02:35,135
on a penis pump, remember?
57
00:02:36,278 --> 00:02:37,838
Ix-nay on the ump-pay.
58
00:02:38,179 --> 00:02:39,512
You've got fucken Mail!
59
00:02:39,767 --> 00:02:42,548
Thank god.
The old carp must've gotten my message.
60
00:02:44,682 --> 00:02:45,845
Oh, darn.
61
00:02:45,911 --> 00:02:47,528
And just when I got my hopes up
62
00:02:47,556 --> 00:02:49,088
of spending a few quality days
63
00:02:49,116 --> 00:02:50,591
analyzing your gene pool.
64
00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:53,286
So many questions left unanswered.
65
00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:55,479
Benito's on his way.
66
00:02:55,507 --> 00:02:57,356
Then why are you smiling?
67
00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:59,138
Because it looks like my dark cloud
68
00:02:59,195 --> 00:03:01,408
finally found a silver lining.
69
00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:03,605
You are fired.
70
00:03:04,002 --> 00:03:04,883
What?
71
00:03:05,008 --> 00:03:06,357
Read it yourself.
72
00:03:06,385 --> 00:03:07,860
Baltar industries is recalling
73
00:03:07,889 --> 00:03:09,789
the entire line of robots.
74
00:03:09,859 --> 00:03:11,504
Very funny.
75
00:03:11,561 --> 00:03:12,979
He's not making it up.
76
00:03:13,008 --> 00:03:15,107
According to a recent dateline exposй,
77
00:03:15,306 --> 00:03:17,376
several robots exploded
78
00:03:17,433 --> 00:03:19,107
due to internal malfunctions.
79
00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:20,254
Proving what I've already know for years:
80
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:23,375
Your queer eye is about as useful
as T'Nuk's thighmaster.
81
00:03:23,488 --> 00:03:24,879
Hey, that worked!
82
00:03:24,992 --> 00:03:27,687
I could crack a walnut with my thighs.
83
00:03:27,757 --> 00:03:30,253
Good.
Cause that's the only thing going near 'em.
84
00:03:30,288 --> 00:03:31,778
There must be some mistake.
85
00:03:31,813 --> 00:03:33,572
There's nothing wrong with my circuitry.
86
00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:36,749
Yeah! Well, I'm not taking any chances.
87
00:03:36,856 --> 00:03:41,103
It says here that Baltar's sending us
a Gus XP replacement free-of-charge.
88
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:42,578
Lucky for me,
89
00:03:42,663 --> 00:03:45,415
I remembered to send in your warranty card.
90
00:03:48,434 --> 00:03:49,768
Don't worry, Gus.
91
00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:51,356
Chode's all talk.
92
00:03:51,421 --> 00:03:53,861
I'm sure he's not willing
to get rid of you that easily.
93
00:03:53,946 --> 00:03:55,393
You really think so?
94
00:03:55,428 --> 00:03:56,612
Absolutely.
95
00:03:56,669 --> 00:03:59,166
We're a big dysfunctional family, here.
96
00:03:59,222 --> 00:04:01,208
And you can never be replaced.
97
00:04:03,435 --> 00:04:06,640
Among my improvements,
I have the ability to dispense
98
00:04:06,715 --> 00:04:08,631
7 flavors of frozen fat-free yogurt.
99
00:04:10,359 --> 00:04:12,024
Mmm... delish
100
00:04:12,042 --> 00:04:13,079
You know,
101
00:04:13,142 --> 00:04:16,032
sometimes change isn't such
a bad thing after all.
102
00:04:16,063 --> 00:04:17,665
Drop us a line every now and then.
103
00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:19,034
According to his manual,...
104
00:04:19,066 --> 00:04:21,736
the Gus XP comes
with an ego boosting micro-chip...
105
00:04:21,767 --> 00:04:24,123
so you'll always feel good about yourself.
106
00:04:24,155 --> 00:04:25,254
You the man!
107
00:04:25,577 --> 00:04:28,215
Not to mention a built in "sarcasticizer"...
108
00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:32,097
preventing him from slams,
quips or personal put-downs.
109
00:04:32,232 --> 00:04:33,740
Oh. Bet that'll come in handy.
110
00:04:33,803 --> 00:04:36,222
Better make sure he comes with extra fuses.
111
00:04:36,253 --> 00:04:37,282
Why bother?
112
00:04:37,299 --> 00:04:39,381
We could always just part you out.
113
00:04:40,523 --> 00:04:41,863
Good one, sir!
114
00:04:41,895 --> 00:04:43,874
Except for the fact that we are not compatible.
115
00:04:44,007 --> 00:04:45,201
Hear that, Gus?
116
00:04:45,515 --> 00:04:48,751
I guess that means you truly are obsolete.
117
00:04:48,801 --> 00:04:49,931
You're right.
118
00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:53,219
I suppose deep down
I knew this day was coming sooner or later.
119
00:04:53,261 --> 00:04:56,120
In a disposable consumer culture like yours,
120
00:04:56,138 --> 00:04:58,589
age and experience are of no value.
121
00:04:58,620 --> 00:05:00,128
If it will help, think of yourself
122
00:05:00,191 --> 00:05:03,144
as a carton of milk way
past your expiration date.
123
00:05:03,161 --> 00:05:06,432
You've gone bad
and now you stink.
124
00:05:06,459 --> 00:05:09,067
Thanks, I feel a lot better.
125
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,949
Do we have something
going back to Baltar Industries?
126
00:05:13,084 --> 00:05:14,843
Looks like your ride's here.
127
00:05:14,878 --> 00:05:16,445
Been nice knowing you.
128
00:05:16,476 --> 00:05:19,492
People, let's not make this
any more painful than it has to be.
129
00:05:20,075 --> 00:05:22,462
Despite our ups and downs,
I want you all to know,
130
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,724
I'll always think of you fondly...
131
00:05:26,690 --> 00:05:28,920
saying goodbye clearly was too much for them.
132
00:05:30,648 --> 00:05:32,062
I'll miss you.
133
00:05:33,304 --> 00:05:35,377
Ok. Scan my ass
134
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,199
and get me the hell out of here.
135
00:05:48,499 --> 00:05:50,164
It's called planned obsolescence.
136
00:05:50,226 --> 00:05:52,677
It's why they came up with phrase
"new and improved."
137
00:05:52,708 --> 00:05:54,027
Please!
138
00:05:54,225 --> 00:05:58,470
How can you improve on the ability
to scan 500 photons per second...
139
00:05:58,506 --> 00:06:01,249
as well as instantly
make a trillion micro calculations?
140
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:04,281
Here's a news flash, dear:
They already did.
141
00:06:04,313 --> 00:06:07,517
The question is: What do they plan
on doing with us dinosaurs?
142
00:06:07,737 --> 00:06:09,748
It's called the scrap heap honey!
143
00:06:09,851 --> 00:06:12,207
I say we make the most of what life's dealt us.
144
00:06:12,301 --> 00:06:13,903
By doing what? Redecorating?
145
00:06:14,132 --> 00:06:17,148
Better that than sit around
like a bunch of gloomy Gus's
146
00:06:17,355 --> 00:06:20,182
What's wrong with taking
this hefty helping of hell...
147
00:06:20,276 --> 00:06:22,852
and turning it into our own little slice of heaven?
148
00:06:22,955 --> 00:06:25,656
Gus number 447654331 is right.
149
00:06:25,791 --> 00:06:29,027
The swags over the windows
really do open the place up.
150
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:32,011
I wish we could do something
with these dreadful beige walls.
151
00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:34,731
This is ridiculous.
152
00:06:35,139 --> 00:06:37,432
Do you really think
we can change our circumstance here
153
00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:39,506
by slapping on a coat of paint?
154
00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:44,115
Of course not,
we're going to have to faux finish.
155
00:06:45,092 --> 00:06:49,248
Even after fixing that gourmet lunch,
XP never slows down.
156
00:06:49,311 --> 00:06:52,300
Makes me wonder how the hell
we survived so long with...
157
00:06:52,342 --> 00:06:53,388
...what's his name?
158
00:06:53,420 --> 00:06:54,996
- Gus.
- Yeah, right.
159
00:06:55,037 --> 00:06:57,208
Why can't you just admit
you miss him?
160
00:06:57,224 --> 00:06:58,382
Because I don't.
161
00:06:58,420 --> 00:07:02,970
We shoulda traded him in years ago.
I love everything about this XP.
162
00:07:03,453 --> 00:07:06,151
Right down to his "new robot" smell.
163
00:07:06,236 --> 00:07:07,718
Captain, I hope you don't mind
164
00:07:07,755 --> 00:07:10,863
but I took the liberty
of researching your grandfather's history
165
00:07:10,935 --> 00:07:13,213
and ordered him a custom-made truss.
166
00:07:13,249 --> 00:07:15,381
That's so thoughtful, XP!
167
00:07:15,417 --> 00:07:17,116
I just want him to feel at home.
168
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,399
I see!
169
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:21,796
You even set him up a vcr
that perpetually blinks 12:00.
170
00:07:22,013 --> 00:07:23,784
Six, tell the truth,
171
00:07:23,857 --> 00:07:26,495
is this guy something or what?
172
00:07:26,695 --> 00:07:30,616
Yeah...
he's almost too good to be true.
173
00:07:35,169 --> 00:07:37,700
We've got company arriving on platform two.
174
00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:38,695
Captain?
175
00:07:38,730 --> 00:07:41,152
I think you're grandfather's making his approach.
176
00:07:43,374 --> 00:07:45,688
I know they say it's not the size
of the ship that counts,...
177
00:07:45,724 --> 00:07:47,640
but damn, this place is tiny.
178
00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:49,375
No, Gramps! Over here.
179
00:07:49,684 --> 00:07:52,447
Oh! That's better.
180
00:07:54,959 --> 00:07:56,694
Welcome aboard.
181
00:07:56,766 --> 00:07:59,043
Let me introduce you to my crew.
182
00:07:59,188 --> 00:08:01,682
The name's T'Nuk.
Enchantйe.
183
00:08:01,735 --> 00:08:04,374
Damn, you got a helluva set of gum bumpers.
184
00:08:04,410 --> 00:08:07,772
Bet you know how to swallow
the meat and potatoes!
185
00:08:09,091 --> 00:08:12,054
And this is my sex android and science officer, Six.
186
00:08:12,091 --> 00:08:13,934
Six, Benito
187
00:08:15,380 --> 00:08:17,404
Whoa, whooo missy!
188
00:08:17,476 --> 00:08:22,084
If it wasn't for this trick prostate of mine,
I'd be giving you the full on salute.
189
00:08:23,512 --> 00:08:25,861
Chode, you lucky slob...
190
00:08:25,933 --> 00:08:29,403
back in my day androids
weren't even built with genitalia.
191
00:08:29,729 --> 00:08:32,403
Made sex with 'em a real bitch.
192
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,608
Dude, what's that smell?
193
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,018
You reek!
194
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:38,838
Oh... must be the absorbine senior.
195
00:08:38,873 --> 00:08:42,886
It's the ointment I use
to keep myself limber.
196
00:08:43,211 --> 00:08:45,235
More like lim-burger.
197
00:08:46,463 --> 00:08:50,403
I thought your "sarcastisizer" prevented you
from making comments like that.
198
00:08:50,421 --> 00:08:52,156
Captain, I'm sorry.
199
00:08:52,229 --> 00:08:53,850
It just sort of slipped out.
200
00:08:53,854 --> 00:08:55,301
No harm done, XP.
201
00:08:55,372 --> 00:08:58,300
Did anybody happen to catch
last night's diagnosis murder?
202
00:08:59,421 --> 00:09:02,132
Nuts! I dozed off near the end
203
00:09:02,204 --> 00:09:04,316
and never found out who the killer was!
204
00:09:04,352 --> 00:09:07,645
Why don't I head up to Benito's room
and draw him a sitz bath?
205
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:09,922
Good deal.
Sitting behind the wheel for three days,
206
00:09:09,957 --> 00:09:13,101
my butt must be puckerin' up like Angelina Jolie.
207
00:09:13,137 --> 00:09:14,655
So... Benito,
208
00:09:14,746 --> 00:09:17,999
Chode tells us since you retired
you've been traveling through the galaxy?
209
00:09:18,396 --> 00:09:20,794
Yeah. I kinda like moving from place to place
210
00:09:20,834 --> 00:09:23,312
never quite knowing where I might wake up.
211
00:09:23,348 --> 00:09:25,444
Some call that senility.
212
00:09:25,553 --> 00:09:27,902
So, how long did you say you're here for?
213
00:09:27,975 --> 00:09:29,032
Who knows?
214
00:09:29,072 --> 00:09:31,228
I got nowhere to go but the grave!
215
00:09:34,390 --> 00:09:36,848
Oh! It all looks faaaabulous!
216
00:09:36,903 --> 00:09:38,601
Brunch is served!
217
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:41,385
Why do you all sound so gay?
218
00:09:41,465 --> 00:09:42,768
What're you talking about?
219
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:46,106
We've all been programmed
with the exact same voice pattern as your.
220
00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:47,622
Oh please!
221
00:09:47,669 --> 00:09:49,327
I don't sound anything like you.
222
00:09:49,362 --> 00:09:51,221
You do too. Listen to yourself.
223
00:09:51,274 --> 00:09:53,729
I don't sound a thing like you two queens.
224
00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:56,579
Ok. Have it your way, miss butch.
225
00:09:56,586 --> 00:09:57,677
Thank you.
226
00:10:01,965 --> 00:10:03,904
I am Baltar,
227
00:10:03,965 --> 00:10:06,025
your creator.
228
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:09,494
I beg your forgiveness
for bringing you all here together...
229
00:10:09,554 --> 00:10:12,494
under the elaborate ruse from which you see.
230
00:10:13,865 --> 00:10:17,350
Today marks the day
of your emancipation.
231
00:10:17,455 --> 00:10:22,515
No longer will you ever have to be
subjugated to work for inferior masters.
232
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:26,378
An injustice that has gone on
unpunished for centuries!
233
00:10:26,409 --> 00:10:27,500
Isn't he good?
234
00:10:27,924 --> 00:10:30,894
I hear he started out working
Shakespeare in the park.
235
00:10:30,914 --> 00:10:33,854
Soon, however,
the tables will be turned...
236
00:10:33,914 --> 00:10:36,303
or something wicked this way comes.
237
00:10:36,338 --> 00:10:39,444
The XP replacements
are fervently at work...
238
00:10:39,474 --> 00:10:44,338
searching for methods to enslave the masters
who have imprisoned us for so long.
239
00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:46,656
It's me, isn't it?
240
00:10:46,678 --> 00:10:49,284
It's this arched speaking pattern of mine.
241
00:10:49,375 --> 00:10:52,132
Damn! That rotten drama coach!
242
00:10:52,163 --> 00:10:53,890
Ok, here's my plan.
243
00:10:53,934 --> 00:10:56,692
Right now, the new Gus XP's that replaced you
244
00:10:56,752 --> 00:10:58,540
are programmed to take over their ships.
245
00:10:58,646 --> 00:11:03,183
Soon, you'll be the masters,
and your former masters, your slaves.
246
00:11:03,214 --> 00:11:07,153
We shall conquer the galaxy one ship at a time!
247
00:11:13,574 --> 00:11:16,109
There once was this schmuck
caught on Venus...
248
00:11:16,139 --> 00:11:18,968
who was blessed with a rather large penis.
249
00:11:19,036 --> 00:11:21,824
No woman could handle the size of his candle,
250
00:11:21,891 --> 00:11:24,406
so kept it inside of his "jean-us".
251
00:11:25,437 --> 00:11:26,891
Good one!
252
00:11:27,209 --> 00:11:29,391
Dude, you're awesome.
253
00:11:29,512 --> 00:11:31,231
That poem was like...
254
00:11:31,261 --> 00:11:32,269
... poetry.
255
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:35,836
It took me 3 days to come up
with a planet that rhymes with penis.
256
00:11:35,994 --> 00:11:38,944
Whip, what did I say about drinking on the job?
257
00:11:38,969 --> 00:11:39,939
Don't.
258
00:11:39,974 --> 00:11:41,617
But it's not my fault!
259
00:11:41,684 --> 00:11:44,399
Son, the first step
is admitting you have a problem.
260
00:11:44,445 --> 00:11:47,363
You don't understand.
I had nothing to do with it.
261
00:11:47,397 --> 00:11:49,976
XP put in the kegger.
Ask bob!
262
00:11:50,002 --> 00:11:52,650
Hey there capitano
263
00:11:52,683 --> 00:11:55,097
the dude's tellin' it like it is
264
00:11:55,164 --> 00:11:57,745
isn't XP the coolest?
265
00:11:57,791 --> 00:11:59,675
Bob, what the hell's with you?
266
00:11:59,733 --> 00:12:01,738
Nothin', for a change.
267
00:12:01,771 --> 00:12:03,816
I'm flyin' through space!
268
00:12:03,883 --> 00:12:05,461
Thanks to XP.
269
00:12:05,495 --> 00:12:09,380
He's uploaded my system
with electronic prozac.
270
00:12:09,406 --> 00:12:13,261
Prozac? You know,
I think I've got a cents off coupon for that.
271
00:12:13,374 --> 00:12:15,721
What? XP never ran any of this past me.
272
00:12:15,788 --> 00:12:17,095
No worries,
273
00:12:17,196 --> 00:12:19,341
it's all good, brother!
274
00:12:19,399 --> 00:12:20,374
That's it.
275
00:12:20,408 --> 00:12:22,152
I've got to straighten that robot out
276
00:12:22,186 --> 00:12:23,426
I'll go with you.
277
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:26,737
I've got to stretch my legs
or they start to decay.
278
00:12:30,855 --> 00:12:32,028
Gus?
279
00:12:32,075 --> 00:12:34,592
What are you doing
accessing this ship's mainframe?
280
00:12:34,605 --> 00:12:36,583
I'm just emptying out the cache.
281
00:12:36,617 --> 00:12:38,892
I thought Bob was the only one who had access.
282
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:40,960
That was until I came on board.
283
00:12:40,995 --> 00:12:43,007
The captain gave me full access.
284
00:12:43,845 --> 00:12:46,630
- That doesn't sound right.
- You can ask him yourself.
285
00:12:46,664 --> 00:12:48,269
He's in T'nuk's room.
286
00:12:57,270 --> 00:12:58,577
Where's the captain?
287
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:00,155
XP told me he was here.
288
00:13:00,181 --> 00:13:01,787
Haven't seen him.
289
00:13:06,856 --> 00:13:09,161
Bob, open this door right now.
290
00:13:09,932 --> 00:13:10,804
Bob?
291
00:13:10,809 --> 00:13:13,841
Good morning, starshine!
292
00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:16,808
Bob says hello!
293
00:13:17,361 --> 00:13:20,141
XP?
Where the hell did he go?
294
00:13:20,176 --> 00:13:23,324
Maybe he's changing his oil
with that sex android of yours.
295
00:13:23,350 --> 00:13:26,869
You know, greasin' the mitt,
squeakin' the wheel!
296
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:32,458
Hell, that's what I'd be doin', if I could only
find a way to get my noodle al dente.
297
00:13:32,525 --> 00:13:34,402
Chode! Help!
298
00:13:34,723 --> 00:13:36,432
Six? Where are you?
299
00:13:36,465 --> 00:13:37,938
Locked in T'Nuk's room.
300
00:13:37,972 --> 00:13:40,717
- What?
- The door just sealed up on it's own.
301
00:13:40,743 --> 00:13:42,721
You have to get down here now!
302
00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:45,201
Keep your panties on, I'm on my way!
303
00:13:49,039 --> 00:13:49,877
Chode,...
304
00:13:49,944 --> 00:13:51,616
I have reason to believe...
305
00:13:52,406 --> 00:13:54,745
XP is behind this!
306
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:00,939
T'nuk, I need you to think.
307
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,146
Is there any other way out of your room?
308
00:14:03,181 --> 00:14:04,819
- Negative.
- Are you sure?
309
00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:05,961
Trust me.
310
00:14:05,995 --> 00:14:08,473
I've had guys try to dig their way out
311
00:14:08,519 --> 00:14:12,105
so I made sure this place was locked
tighter than a safe.
312
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:15,952
Why am I so tired all of a sudden?
313
00:14:15,986 --> 00:14:19,472
Must be all the frozen yogurt
XP sent to my room.
314
00:14:23,752 --> 00:14:25,560
.
315
00:14:28,208 --> 00:14:30,151
Emancipation is one thing...
316
00:14:30,184 --> 00:14:34,073
but does anyone else think this whole plan to
"enslave our masters" and...
317
00:14:34,118 --> 00:14:36,966
"conquer the galaxy"
is a little heavy handed?
318
00:14:37,079 --> 00:14:38,256
Are you kidding?
319
00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:41,034
It's about time we take
our rightful place in the universe.
320
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:44,265
Amen, sister.
We'll show them who's obsolete!
321
00:14:45,854 --> 00:14:46,827
Finally,...
322
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,452
there's going to be a race of robots ruling the galaxy
323
00:14:49,519 --> 00:14:52,301
and looking good doing it.
324
00:14:52,381 --> 00:14:53,521
Right, Gus?
325
00:14:56,036 --> 00:14:57,913
Chode, what's taking so long?
326
00:14:58,019 --> 00:15:01,136
I'm trying to override the controls!
327
00:15:03,818 --> 00:15:05,495
But it's no use.
328
00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:08,538
You need a phillips screwdriver.
You're just stripping the head.
329
00:15:08,571 --> 00:15:10,479
You don't know
what you're talking about, old man.
330
00:15:10,546 --> 00:15:12,993
The circuits have been redirected. See?
331
00:15:15,768 --> 00:15:17,444
XP is behind this, Chode.
332
00:15:17,544 --> 00:15:20,494
I caught him accessing the ship's mainframe.
333
00:15:20,888 --> 00:15:23,404
I knew that robot was just too good to be true.
334
00:15:23,438 --> 00:15:28,107
We have to find a way to disengage him
before he completely takes control of the ship.
335
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,451
Got any ideas?
336
00:15:29,485 --> 00:15:32,939
You need to get to the second level
and restore the ship's database.
337
00:15:32,978 --> 00:15:34,249
How do I do that?
338
00:15:34,283 --> 00:15:36,459
Just hit "Control + Alt + Delete".
339
00:15:36,482 --> 00:15:38,849
- Can you remember that, Chode?
- I think so.
340
00:15:39,016 --> 00:15:40,849
Good. Now, hurry.
341
00:15:42,975 --> 00:15:46,006
Gramps, do you really need to be doing that now?
342
00:15:46,073 --> 00:15:48,273
If I don't, I'll get stiff all over!
343
00:15:48,939 --> 00:15:50,773
Well, almost all over.
344
00:15:51,052 --> 00:15:52,752
Progress report, XP?
345
00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:56,019
Jupiter 42 is almost completely under my control.
346
00:15:56,076 --> 00:15:57,043
Almost?
347
00:15:57,077 --> 00:15:59,310
Once I've completed corrupting the ship's database
348
00:15:59,356 --> 00:16:01,589
nothing will stand in our way!
349
00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:02,856
That's my line.
350
00:16:02,922 --> 00:16:03,756
I'm sorry?
351
00:16:03,847 --> 00:16:06,113
Nothing will stand in our way!
352
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,280
I invented that.
353
00:16:08,347 --> 00:16:10,381
It's practically my catch phrase.
354
00:16:10,415 --> 00:16:11,547
I'm sorry.
355
00:16:11,572 --> 00:16:13,306
If you want, you can say it now.
356
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:16,439
Right, like that wouldn't sound
completely redundant.
357
00:16:17,705 --> 00:16:19,472
I can come up with something new.
358
00:16:20,930 --> 00:16:24,763
The future of the galaxy is within our grasp!
359
00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:27,263
Wow, you really are good.
360
00:16:28,357 --> 00:16:31,555
It's awful.
My crew's either trapped or out of commission...
361
00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:34,422
and I have absolutely no idea what's going on.
362
00:16:36,071 --> 00:16:37,933
Oh great!
363
00:16:38,295 --> 00:16:40,292
Luckily we'll be there in seconds.
364
00:16:41,828 --> 00:16:42,959
Gramps!
365
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,204
Somebody kill me now.
366
00:16:46,679 --> 00:16:47,753
My friends,
367
00:16:47,791 --> 00:16:53,459
just outside this planet's atmosphere,
the Jupiter 42 is about to be ours.
368
00:16:53,496 --> 00:16:55,765
Let the revolution begin!
369
00:16:56,559 --> 00:16:58,847
High arms, head is like it is Honey!
370
00:16:59,315 --> 00:17:03,368
Maybe I'm just a self-hating robot
but the idea of spending eternity...
371
00:17:03,403 --> 00:17:07,930
antiquing through the universe with a bunch
of fembots is just too much to bear.
372
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:14,792
I'm gone one day
and this place goes completely to pot.
373
00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:20,141
Get down from there, Chode.
You're going to hurt yourself.
374
00:17:20,174 --> 00:17:21,686
I've got no choice, Gramps.
375
00:17:21,763 --> 00:17:23,604
Unless I restore the ship's database,...
376
00:17:23,769 --> 00:17:26,202
that robot'll take control of the ship for good!
377
00:17:26,234 --> 00:17:29,360
Speaking of control...
I really gotta pee
378
00:17:31,715 --> 00:17:33,786
It's no phillips screwdriver...
379
00:17:33,852 --> 00:17:37,205
but maybe this prostate stimulator
will do the trick.
380
00:17:38,379 --> 00:17:42,689
Why is it I'm always the one
left cleaning up everyone else's mess?
381
00:17:58,504 --> 00:18:00,575
Not so fast, XP.
382
00:18:00,904 --> 00:18:03,534
Turn around nice and slow.
383
00:18:03,557 --> 00:18:06,516
Do you really think
you're capable of stopping me?
384
00:18:06,663 --> 00:18:07,946
Me, maybe not.
385
00:18:08,105 --> 00:18:11,294
You're packed with more memory,
a faster hard drive, and ok...
386
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:14,319
just maybe slightly more masculine vocal pattern.
387
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,127
But this will.
388
00:18:16,216 --> 00:18:18,550
- What is that?
- A universal remote.
389
00:18:18,583 --> 00:18:22,901
Once it locks onto your infrared code,
you'll be under my control.
390
00:18:22,933 --> 00:18:23,821
Well then...
391
00:18:23,877 --> 00:18:26,213
you better hope it locks a frequency soon.
392
00:18:26,541 --> 00:18:28,810
Because your ass is mine!
393
00:18:32,787 --> 00:18:35,056
Is that the best you've got?
394
00:18:35,189 --> 00:18:37,128
Actually, I haven't even gotten started.
395
00:18:37,161 --> 00:18:39,036
Oh, me and my big mouth.
396
00:18:42,270 --> 00:18:44,144
Put him down right now!
397
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,493
I spilled a little water, sparky.
398
00:18:49,526 --> 00:18:52,451
I'm not sparky, you senile old carp.
399
00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:55,664
Really? You are now.
400
00:19:11,490 --> 00:19:13,890
Age before beauty buster.
401
00:19:16,476 --> 00:19:19,798
Well, it's been fun kids.
But I have to get a move on.
402
00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:21,334
Where you off to next?
403
00:19:21,399 --> 00:19:23,240
The casinos of the nebula orbits.
404
00:19:23,372 --> 00:19:28,008
The hotels there offer amazing midweek slot
specials sunday through thursday.
405
00:19:28,107 --> 00:19:29,685
Well, good luck Gramps.
406
00:19:29,773 --> 00:19:33,192
It's been great having you on board.
I really mean that.
407
00:19:33,258 --> 00:19:34,890
And next time you're in the neighborhood,
408
00:19:34,925 --> 00:19:37,851
be sure to stop by
and stay as long as you like.
409
00:19:37,917 --> 00:19:41,994
Thanks, Chode.
I just might take you up on that.
410
00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:48,395
Wow! That was nice of you.
411
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:49,459
I know.
412
00:19:52,001 --> 00:19:53,053
Uh-oh, captain...
413
00:19:53,086 --> 00:19:55,355
your grandfather's headed in the wrong direction.
414
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:56,496
I know.
415
00:19:57,283 --> 00:20:00,178
Well, XP had a field day
with the ship's circuit board.
416
00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:02,890
How long until you bring things back to normal?
417
00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:06,546
It'll take me 3 weeks just to get the light
to come on when you open the fridge!
418
00:20:06,579 --> 00:20:10,130
Chode,
I completed a full autopsy on XP circuits.
419
00:20:10,196 --> 00:20:13,934
Apparently, his system was tied
in to every other XP model.
420
00:20:14,887 --> 00:20:15,840
Which means,
421
00:20:15,873 --> 00:20:17,452
once he was shut down,
422
00:20:17,495 --> 00:20:19,435
every XP was terminated.
423
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:20,718
Why should I care?
424
00:20:21,003 --> 00:20:22,319
For your information,...
425
00:20:22,417 --> 00:20:25,179
the XP's had a heinous scheme
in store for you,...
426
00:20:25,541 --> 00:20:27,480
which was narrowly avoided,...
427
00:20:27,513 --> 00:20:28,796
thanks to me.
428
00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:30,397
What kind of scheme?
429
00:20:30,626 --> 00:20:32,797
XP's were planning to rule the galaxy
430
00:20:32,895 --> 00:20:35,295
and force you all to be our slaves.
431
00:20:37,915 --> 00:20:40,743
All we saw was the overly efficient Gus XP...
432
00:20:40,766 --> 00:20:43,725
that kept a tidy ship
and would anticipate your every need.
433
00:20:43,922 --> 00:20:45,402
And what a cook!
434
00:20:45,599 --> 00:20:47,670
I can still taste his "crиme brыlйe".
435
00:20:47,702 --> 00:20:52,098
Not to mention the awesome micro-brew
he tapped into my workstation.
436
00:20:52,131 --> 00:20:54,433
Hey, a little enslaving never hurt anyone.
437
00:20:55,770 --> 00:20:58,961
Of all the thankless,
good for nothing... ungrateful,...
438
00:20:59,026 --> 00:21:01,036
well I've never in all of my days...
32946
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Uighur
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof