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That bitch, man. Gave me ten lei, like I washed her windshield in traffic.

Fuck, do I look like a bum?

What's up with it, though?

Eh, a fuse.

She damn near bawled. "What'd I do? I ruined the car…"

So what if you're beautiful? Your head's totally empty. Void.

What's up?

Fuck's up, man, been wastin' my time on eight-lei trips.

-Eh, it's early. -I'm busy, bro.

Wooed this chick last night, I'm going over after my shift.

Wham, bam, bottle of wine!

I'm gonna put on a show tonight, leave her in tears!

Ain't read too many books, but on this, I wrote the book!

No BS. That's how I fuck. I don't stop till she cries.

What if she doesn't cry?

What if she's got… a gland issue or something?

-What, you just keep pounding? -No worries, she'll cry!

You don't buy it, 'cause you're a wuss who's fucked three bimbos his whole life.

If she ain't crying for joy, you ain't done her right.

Well, what if she's had some trouble? And she's dating you to forget.

So she starts crying.

You think it's you when, in fact, she's just had a death in the family.

No such thing, bro. You can tell the difference.

Dunno, man, when you're all in the moment…

Maybe you're right, but 90% of the time it's me.

Got a smoke to spare?

-Nah, bro, I quit. -Bummer.

No, that's good. Know what else is dangerous?

-Drugs! -Yo, you taking me for a ride?

-C'mon, leave him be. -You upset the dude, see?

Snitch!

Thanks.

Thanks, man.

-So, who is this girl? -Which one?

-The one you're seeing tonight. -Oh, man, you should see the tits on her!

And-- hold on to your seat-- she's a cop.

-What? -A cop. Writing parking tickets.

-Get outta here. -Would I lie to you? A cop, I swear.

She was writing tickets and I chatted her up.

"Would you write one for me, too?"

Her colleague shooed me off. Came back when he left.

I've started my number.

"Drop you off after your shift? Drink some wine?"

She shooed me off, too. Came back again.

"Rockin' those bangs. So the police don't have shirts your size?"

I shot my mouth and eventually the stupid girl laughed.

And, you know it: if you laugh, you get the dick.

You don't believe me. Wait till I've fucked her once.

I need just one good day.

-Fuck the police. -Oh, good evening.

Kisses, Ralu!

-You lot ever work? -None of your beeswax.

We're on holiday.

Excuse me.

Yowza.

What a shitty evening.

-No orders on the app. -Yeah.

Made a ton of money yesterday. Too much to count.

Fucking Uber.

I emptied this guy's ashtray on his hood.

Here, on the colonnade corner.

Emptied it on his windshield.

Coward didn't even open the window, I woulda spat on him.

-Till one of them comes out at you. -I wish I had that luck!

Can't wait for one to come at me.

I'll stomp him! Won't even need money that day.

I'll whoop and piss on him too!

They're stealing money from babies with their candy and bottled water.

Hope that's all they'll ever drink!

We don't give a fuck, but some cabbies got kids!

So if you beat up Uber drivers, they'll earn more.

You fucking raise three kids on 90 lei a day.

Sure, man, it's rough. Go drive an Uber, then.

I will, man, don't think I won't.

I'll save for a car that a guy'll bring me from Germany.

I'll slay Uber! Fuck their candy!

I'll give the suckers breath mints!

-Man, I'm going back to my rides. -Me, too.

-Kisses. Talk to you later. Take care. -Hit the jackpot.

We won't talk, I'm seeing that chick.

But I'll give you the address if you wanna listen from the parking lot.

Ralu!

-Where we goin'? -Control Club.

-On Constantin Mille… -I know where it is, man!

Full of fags there, right?

-Sorry? -Didn't you hear me?

Yeah, there are some.

-And you like it with them there? -I'm looking for someone.

C'mon, chief, it's not like I'll get angry that you know a bunch of fags!

I don't give a fuck. So long as they're not in my car.

Yeah, I know a few.

There you go. You admit it.

None of my business what you lot do.

-I don't give a rat's ass. -So then what have you got against them?

Nothing man, what's with you?

They can do as they please, I just can't stand to see them.

How am I supposed to stand seeing two men together?

Have them suck face in my backseat?

Fuck it, man, I got my principles!

-Don't wanna insist, but… -Yo!

What's wrong with you? Get it: I have nothing against them!

I got nothing against 'em!

But it makes me barf, man, what the fuck?!

How am I supposed to see two men together?

What, nothing makes you sick?

-Of course it does. -See?

Just give me an example.

-I don't know. Stuff. -Name one thing, man!

I don't know! Cockroaches.

Kitchen roaches?

Yes. I get sick when I kill one and feel it burst.

See? I don't mind roaches.

Fuck 'em. Like, I don't care.

But if I throw a bucket of roaches on you, won't you barf?

You'll barf!

Same with me. If there are fags in my car, I barf.

To each their own.

Not like I mind you being sickened by roaches!

-But it's not the same thing. -No shit?

Who's gonna tell me what to be sickened by?

It's kinda normal to be sickened by bugs. Meanwhile…

C'mon, chief, drop it!

They're human, too right? That's what you were gonna say.

-I was. -Aren't rapists human, too?

But when they get ass raped in prison, that's a good thing, right?

-It's good, right? -No, that's also wrong.

C'mon. Drop it. You're talking outta books.

You know when you get to talk?

When your son comes up and tells you, "Daddy, I suck cock."

That's when you get to talk.

You go, "Well done, son!" And then talk. Will you?

No, that's not what I'll say.

I'll tell him it's his business who he loves

and he needs no one's approval.

Yeah, man. Right.

So you're okay with your son sucking cock.

He brings his boyfriend home, they go to his room,

and you're cool with that.

You hear your son scream

as he takes a dick up his ass and you watch TV.

National Geographic, 'cause you're an intellectual.

Your son screams, the antelope screams as he's eaten by the crocodile.

Fuck it. Family time.

You see a lion, your son takes a cum load.

Come on. You know I'm right.

You're all talking outta books.

Tell me what you've lived. I won't have a thing to say.

Okay, I haven't lived this.

Yes, I'd probably be more believable if I had.

-But you can't deny people… -Man, are you taking me for a fool?

Forget books and shit. Tell me what pains you!

-That you talk like this! -No shit?

-You give a fuck about how I talk? -Yes.

Because you're talking about people I know.

My friends. If you met them, you wouldn't…

You're a doll, man.

Where would I meet fags? You nuts? Get a load of him.

For real you're not a fag? You sure defend them.

No, I'm not.

This is about a principle.

-So, what, you mind us talking? -Oh, no. No.

You're answering like…

We're just chatting.

You got principles?

-How long will you be at your mom's? -I don't know. A bit.

-Want me to come pick you up? -No, I wanna walk.

Haven't I lugged these bags around enough all day?

I told you to wait so we'd go together.

-Or at least text me the shopping list. -My mom only eats when you have the time.

-We'd have gone tomorrow. -She was out of food today.

Listen, Victoria…

I get that you're tired. I really do.

But, please, stop yelling at me over the phone.

I was with a client, too.

That'll make me get there faster?

Yeah, man, I…

I got angry for waiting here like an idiot.

Everyone was going home and I was waiting with the bags between my legs.

My mom called, too. She forgot we talked at noon.

She called me 15 times today.

Please… Let's do something about this.

We fight every day.

We'd have to see each other every day to fight.

-Every time we see each other, we fight. -So what?

-What do you mean? -Yes, we fight, but…

Maybe we have reasons to fight.

You're picking on this without talking about the reasons.

I don't know the reasons. I might, if we talked instead of fighting.

You don't, 'cause all you want is to not fight.

So what, can't we do that?

What's wrong with that? I spend all night in the streets.

I just wanna get home and not fight.

Yeah, man.

This is also my fault.

What did you expect? I'm married to my job and the TV.

Let's go.

You agreed when I switched to the night shift.

I mean, we talked.

I've also had it with your constant victimization.

-Let's go. -Please!

That's it, I'll shut up now.

Let me get that.

Victoria!

I was thinking…

Wanna go away for the weekend?

Where would we go?

I don't know. Somewhere nearby, outside Bucharest.

Just the two of us.

Liviu, do you remember when we last had sex?

-OK… -No, that's the question.

-What kind of question is this? -A question.

If you remember when we last had sex.

-This weekend. -Great. And before that?

I don't know. Really, what is this?

On Saturday morning, two weekends ago.

That was this month.

Last month, it was also only twice.

I do remember.

Really, I'm a young woman, I can't…

Twice a month…

Do you understand?

'cause I don't either.

Have you ever thought how I feel?

You come home, go to bed, and…

I don't know, what do you think it's like for me?

Twice a month.

Obviously, I've considered everything.

That you're seeing someone else, going out, God knows where.

That you're sick and can't do it.

Then that you don't want me. That you're too tired.

Then, again, that you don't want me. Really, now?

How not-in-the-mood can you be?

Why aren't you saying anything? We're not fighting now, just talking.

-I got it. -What do you get, man?

You don't get it at all.

If you did, you wouldn't always be asking me what's wrong.

What do you want me to do, buy a vibrator?

That's not what I want. I want a man. I want you.

Man, I can't go back to getting rejected on job interviews,

while you eat nothing but French fries all day.

Okay?

I shouldn't work a job that's "beneath me" while you starve?

I'd rather drive this shitty car till I die.

Instead of seeing you like that again.

Good evening.

Excuse me… Is this building C?

No, this is B. C is in the other direction.

Thanks.

And I'm not playing the victim, okay?

I mean, I'm not complaining.

But when you act this way…

I really don't get anything anymore.

We do things together, right?

We take decisions together.

And now it's suddenly just my business?

-How come? -I don't know.

-Great, now you don't know. -Yes, I do know.

I don't wanna choose anymore.

It's either fries and steak for me, or steak and no sex.

I don't get what you don't get.

-Okay. -Okay.

What's okay? Nothing is okay.

"We" will somehow solve it! I'm telling you, I can't do it anymore!

"When will we," "what will we"?

-I can't do it anymore, I'm tired. -Okay!

She's texted me she's on her way.

C'mon, pal. She's been "on her way" for 15 minutes!

I don't know why you're acting this way. I mean, I'm paying for your time, no?

The clock's running.

I could've run two trips by now. This clock thing…

I'm fucking burning gas for nothing.

I talked to you nicely. I don't think you need to cuss.

We've been waiting around like idiots for 15 minutes.

Should I play a movie on my phone or what?

So, what's she saying?

Changed her mind? Changing earrings?

I will kindly ask you to watch it.

-Let's not be so cavalier… -Watch what, man?

You know what? I'll pay for the ride and call another cab.

I really don't need…

-Here. -Come on, man!

No, no, no. Here's the money. Have a good evening.

If you're getting violent, I'm calling the cops.

Hey! What's wrong, man? What'd I do to you?

Nothing.

I thought you wanted to beat me up.

I just came out to make up. What are you all upset for?

Can't we joke around no more? We're fighting over a woman?

Come on. There we go.

Come on.

Get your money. We wait for the young lady and complete the ride.

C'mon, don't call the SWAT team on me.

We hang out, as boys do, have a water. No problem!

C'mon, get in here!

That's right.

Such a nice parking lot, see?

At least admit it that it annoys you, too!

It doesn't annoy me, but it is unpleasant.

Bro, I don't want to upset you again, but y'all need to have a talk.

True.

You need to set a boundary, y'know?

Women respect this. Didn't she know you were coming?

She did, but…

I would've gone get her from the house…

She's done this to me before. But there's this thing with her mother…

She literally can't stand me.

What's her mom's business?

I don't know, it seems I'm not good enough for her daughter.

She always has a critical eye on me.

I don't know, she hates my tattoos, no idea.

Man, how old is this chick?

Thirty-two.

-Many happy returns. -Thanks, you, too.

I don't mean to pry, but if I were you…

Kept waiting outside by these two…

Easy for you to say, you're…

Good looking…

Man, that has nothing to do with it!

If a chick dumps you today, you get a new one tomorrow. Me…

I'm…

I'm kinda shy, too.

-Come on, man! -Yeah!

You're a big guy, well-dressed.

No… It's really hard for me to talk to a woman.

I always feel like I'm sitting an exam. Being assessed.

If she wasn't my colleague, I'd probably never have talked to her.

Yo! It's the same as with dogs.

They're scared of you, too! But you gotta talk to them!

Anyway, I was even worse one year ago.

But I started meditating and got a bit better.

At what subject?

No, I mean meditation,

like exercises for relaxation,

for making peace with yourself…

with the environment.

And it's really helping me with my social anxiety.

I do exercises, too.

-Really? -Kegel. Heard of them?

-Yeah, but… -Man, you know what it's like?

You do ten minutes of Kegel a day

and you last for two hours.

Know what I'm sayin'? Bam!

One hour, then you have a drink of water and do another hour. One per session.

-I don't have that kind of problem. -What, you think I do?

I don't know, I was just saying I don't…

What's she saying?

-She's saying she's coming right away. -Yes.

I rest my case.

I'm sorry, I apologize. I don't know…

I'll give you some extra on the ride anyway.

Yeah.

She's your woman after all…

I'll wait another three minutes and I'll call her.

It's 13 past…

I'll call her at 16 past and have a fight with her.

What the fuck are you doing, playing me for a fool?

Excuse me?

I had two no-shows before you.

Anyway, not your fault.

I got no one to pick on, so I'm picking on you.

I'm sorry for earlier.

At this hour, orders are complicated.

Yeah, no sweat, man. You're cool. Five stars.

You do customer service, you've apologized for your colleagues.

-Got change for 100? -I do.

Swell guy.

Yeah, it's me.

I thought I recognized you.

If you work night shifts, when do you watch my show?

I watch it on my phone when I'm idle.

I don't know how you can be so patient.

With all those thieves.

-If I were you… -Yeah?

What would you do?

Oh, no, I was just saying…

Yeah? If it were you, you'd strangle them!

They'd be shitting their pants. Admitting everything.

Bringing what they stole from home.

Man, y'all are killing me.

The streets are teeming with all y'all's opinions.

Opinion country, man! That's our country brand.

The Romanian disease.

We do all jobs better than our own.

Is Cernea still running your company?

Hold up.

Cheers, Nicky, what's up?

Listen, bro.

There's this guy at your company, I wanna have him do my show.

I figured I'm no good at it.

Yeah, man, he's got balls, ideas, all it takes.

But I don't want any trouble with you, stealing him from your fleet, y'know?

Listen, hose "thieves," as you call 'em, who put 'em there?

Weren't you the ones?

Huh?

Pal…

If you wanna knock 'em out, do it with your vote.

I try to get that through your heads every evening.

You can't change the country over a pint. You vote like sheep.

And then you're shocked by what you've done.

Did you vote?

Tell me, did you vote?

-Now you're watching the road. -Okay, man, I got it.

You got shit.

In my twelfth grade I was getting my ass kicked by the miners.

And here's Vasile, teaching me democracy.

I've been doing shows for 15 years, fighting everyone,

and he scolds me for being soft!

Wanna see my phone? See how many threat messages I get?

You know what it's like to be watched by two million people? Live?

I'll put you and President Iohannis in front of two million people.

See how much of an "Impaler" you are!

You won't even open your mouth, man. They'll carry you out of there.

What am I saying, Iohannis?

I'll match you with one of the youth org chicks.

She'll talk you into a daze.

C'mon, I'm arguing with you for no reason. You just spoke your mind.

I had a beer, too.

Here, I take it all back.

These are tough times.

Each viewer matters.

-Thanks a lot. -Lemme give you your change.

-It's okay. -No, please, I insist.

-Sir, please, your change! -Yeah, y'all, gather round!

I have found the principled cabbie!

He's Giordano Bruno.

Here, man.

Five stars. You rate me zero, I was mean to you.

Wassup, man?

Listen, I just texted a situation to the WhatsApp group

and remembered the gypsy.

Man, you aren't in it?

Well, get in!

Right, so there's this gypsy at Meridian…

Well, not sure he's a gypsy, but he sounds like one.

He sends these bitchin' messages using the app.

He's like, "pederast crossing," got it?

The pederast crossing, man!

The pede-- Forget it.

Right, so all his messages start the same.

"Y'all be careful!"

"Y'all be careful, buds,

the coppers are at Otopeni, handing out presents."

"Y'all…" What?

Hold on, someone's calling me. Hold the line.

Yes.

Right, and?

I'm not in my car.

But it can't be, I would've seen it, heard it.

I told you I'm not in my car. I'm busy.

Why are you yellin' at me for? Not my fault you're stupid.

I don't give a fuck who you are, you know who I am?

Say what?

Wha…

Yo, tell me where to come to.

Tell me where I need to go, forget…

Yo, just tell me where to go, or I'll break down your door and… Come on…

Fuckin' bitch.

You still there, man?

Man, I can't believe this.

Hoes who what to get laid

lose their phones at the mall, then say they forgot'em on the cab.

This one who just called me was all like, "You know who my boyfriend is?"

"Who's your boyfriend, ho? You know who you talkin' to?"

These hoes be playin' us for fools, or what?

Just 'cause I'm a cabbie I can't be a thug, too?

When I said "Tell me where to come," she hung up.

Fucking bitch… Hold on.

Mari!

I'm cashing in on this win and I wanna place two more.

Will you write them down?

-No, I'll write them. -Take 30 lei two times.

You still on, man?

Right, what was I saying?

Yeah, the gypsy! "Y'all be careful!"

Join the group, bro, so you'll know where to be careful!

Hold on!

Right, I didn't tell you. Speaking of hoes.

-Kisses, Mari! -Bye!

So…

Took this woman to Floreasca the other day.

Wound up with a nutjob in my car.

Didn't ask me if I was free, nothing.

Check this out. She called her ma. Called a girlfriend.

She can't breathe, she's having a panic attack.

She was going berserk, asking me to open the window 'cause there's no air…

I took her, of course, I was worried she'd seize up in there.

There's was absolutely nothing wrong with her, man!

These folks don't know what illness to make up next!

You ever heard of someone having a panic attack?

I haven't!

You think I got time to panic, man?

Imagine if you told your wife:

"Baby, I'm not driving today, I got a panic!"

"I don't know what I did, where I went, I didn't wear a hat, so…"

Hold up, man, ho's calling me again. Hold the call.

Tell me, ho! What the f--

Yes.

Yes!

I apologize, I really didn't know who I was talk--

Yeah, but I was just kidding, I didn't know she was your wife…

No, I thought…

I mean, anyone could pretend…

Yes, of course, I'm coming… No, I'll be there in 20 minutes!

Less, even! 15 minutes, 16 tops!

I'll go look for it now, look under the seats…

Yes. That's it, I'm off, I'll be there!

-You free? -Where to, ma'am?

Follow that turquoise car.

-C'mon, ma'am, cut the crap. -I'll give you 100 lei!

No, seriously.

Come on, let's not lose him!

But we won't have to fight anyone, right?

-I hope. -No.

Look, he's leaving. Come on. Please!

But I won't be running any red lights.

-I don't want any complaints later. -No, but please let's not lose him.

Could we hurry a bit, please?

-But who are we tailing? -Don't worry!

-I wasn't, until you told me not to. -No, I mean it.

Okay…

-He's calling me! What do I do? -I don't know, ma'am!

-I won't answer him. -That's best.

Yeah.

But can he see me in the rearview mirror?

-Huh? -Not you. Me, at most.

Do you want him not to see me either?

-What do you mean? -Oh, I was kidding.

-He can't not see me, 'cause I'm the-- -Oh, yeah!

This is where I failed my driver's license test.

The third time.

Oh, my? Why?

-The cop pulled the brakes on me. -What'd you do?

He said I hadn't checked for incoming traffic.

Well, had you?

I had checked a long time beforehand!

I see.

Did you eventually get your license?

-Is that the police? -The ambulance.

Did you do something?

I always mix them up: the police, the ambulance. The firemen, too, right?

-The sounds… -Are different, right?

Yes, but it depends on the car, too, though.

Yeah, no. Even the ambulance scares me.

I talk too much, right? I'm exhausting you.

Be honest.

I'm sorry, but I'm nervous myself.

I understand you, too. You have to drive all the crazies around.

-Oh, no worries. -Look, he's stopping!

Here, here. Pull over!

-Happy birthday! -Hey, what are you doing?

-You almost gave me a heart attack! -Happy birthday!

I followed you all over Bucharest with this gentleman here.

-Hello, happy birthday! -You're nuts.

-I got you a cake, too, wait! -Let's see!

Hi.

Yo, you tell your mama "hi."

-Hello, ma'am. -Right. See? You can do it.

Turn around, will you?

-What? -Turn around so I can see you.

You look like such an idiot.

Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Talking on the phone like some thug.

You're small fry.

-You letting me talk to the walls? -No…

-I was thinking of starting the car. -You start the car when I tell you to.

Look at me.

Tell me, aren't you ashamed to talk, with this face?

I'm sorry, I didn't know who you are.

"Who you are, ma'am." I'm not your mama.

-I didn't know, ma'am. -Didn't I tell you who I was?

-Well, yeah, but… -But you didn't believe me!

'Cause you're an idiot.

C'mon, hit it.

Yo, open the fucking door, moron!

Where are we going?

We're driving round town till I get tired of shitting on you.

We're going to where you picked me up. Do you remember where that was?

An address on Dorobanți, I can look it up on the app.

You do that.

Am I taking you back after that?

You're taking me wherever I want, all night.

I call you, you come, you take me there.

-Got it? -Yes.

And if you're later than ten minutes after I call,

I'll make you set your car on fire in the morning.

-You set it on fire yourself. -Got it.

Can't believe I just got angry again.

A cabbie cussing me out!

Aren't you ashamed to look in the mirror?

Spending all night holding that piece of shit! Is this a life?

Tell me?! Is this a life? Do you exist?

I work, I make a buck for now…

For now, 'cause later you'll become an architect!

No, I'm saving money for a car, to join Uber.

Cool story, bro. Won't you still be a slave then?

No, 'cause there's more money in it.

Money? You don't even know what money is. Fucking hang yourself, you zero.

Listen, ma'am…

Do you mind if I ask you something?

Shoot.

Around what time you think we'll be done driving?

Can't you hear you'll do what I want all night?

When we're done, I'll find you something else to do.

Walking stray dogs in the park. The fuck, you running my schedule?

-No, I was just asking. -What, you're busy?

Whatever could you be busy with?

-I had something to do after 12. -Like what?

Visit someone.

Unbelievable!

You don't know if you'll have a car in the morning,

but you wanna get some nookie.

-Who you fuckin', man? -A… girl.

Of course, you're too stupid to be gay.

Who, a druggie living at the train station?

A girl I just met. I wanna tell her if I'm not coming.

Nah, don't tell her.

If I'd given you the address, what would you've done?

Would you've started a ruckus?

Got a little crowbar in your trunk?

I've got a sword.

You a ninja or what? What the fuck do you do with a sword?

Keeping it in case there's trouble.

You ever used a sword?

No.

-Listen, pull over here. -What?

Fucking pull over, come on.

I wanna see it.

Right. You pull it out and scare small fry like yourself.

"I'll kill you, cut you, all that!" Show me what you do.

Yo, show me what you do!

Yeah, pal, my boyfriend's a samurai. Got a problem?

-No, I… -Beat it.

Chill, some guy'll shove it up your ass one night.

Idiot.

Were you ever in a serious fight?

Yes.

A serious fight, with men, not an old lady who was too slow to cross the street.

Yes.

-Where did you fight? -I don't… know.

-Yo, are you taking the piss? -No!

Fucking answer my question!

In my hood. I was in a gang

and two homies were dealing

and there was this fight with two guys on Zetari.

And staked out this guy Vali in his building,

shoved him inside the elevator and cut him, it was bad.

Why the fuck aren't you selling, instead of driving cabs like an idiot?

My mom made me swore I wouldn't do it.

-When the cops got those two homies. -What do you mean, the cops?

SWAT team went into their homes, it was bad.

Weren't the cops in on it?

No.

Jesus… Man, sell cheese at the market if you're stupid.

So what if you swore to your mom?

She's got a heart conditions, I don't want anything happening to her.

When they got them, I wound up in hospital with her.

She made me swear in the hallway at Floreasca.

-And I swore. I'm a man of my word. -Yeah, man, fascinating. Gimme my phone.

-What's your passcode? -2-3-5-6.

Hey.

No, I'll be right there.

No, he's… a good boy.

No, he's my guy. He calls me "ma'am." He's a sweetheart.

Listen, if you wanna hang out, tell me. I'll go see my parents…

I could also go see my sister…

No problem. You'll owe me one.

C'mon, there's a queue.

Skip the garlic, you're seeing the cop.

Never mind, you want her to cry.

Gimme a break, bro.

The chick who called to say she left her phone in my car

and I took the piss at her, know who she is?

Nelu Sarbu's woman.

-Who's wife? -Nelu Sarbu's, man.

You never heard of Sarbu's clan? Cocos, Tucudeanu…?

Laughing like an idiot. How come you don't know them?

-Maybe I'm from another fuckin' hood! -What hood, man?

They're big, they're all over!

-Right, so? -So.

I'm drivin' the nutcase round town.

Not making any plans and don't know if I can make it to…

Are you gonna wait on her all night?

Yeah. What else can I do?

Behave and fucking pray to God.

Check those chicks out. Those two, man. You think they're sluts?

You think they're sluts or going clubbing?

-Don't know. How would I? -Can't tell anymore these days.

-Back in the day, you could tell. -Yeah, back then they wore badges.

-I'll ask. -Ask what?

I'll chat 'em up

Listen. I have a question.

No.

No what?

No nothing.

You mean I can't ask a question?

That was a question and the answer is no.

-But… -Drop it, tell me what you're having.

I would've made you my wife!

What do you mean? I don't get it.

Victoria's mom grew up without a dad, too.

You, Victoria, Luiza, myself. Two other colleagues I know, too

My girlfriend before Victoria, too.

Where are all the dads, man? I feel like everyone grew up fatherless.

So what, bro? All my homies had dads.

Jailbirds, drunks. They got smacked upside the head all day.

Better off without than with a loon beating me and my mom up.

-I don't know. -Know what, man? Take it from me.

What the hell's up with you?

I… bickered with Victoria.

What about?

Well…

she's always angry, for almost a year.

Didn't even realize it. I get home beat, fall asleep at the table.

So what does this have to do with dads, you loon?

I don't know, man.

I told you, I keep thinking about it. Where the fuck are the dads?

Man, it's very wrong.

You can't just say "Better off without."

Better off with!

The fuck? Do all dads gotta be nuts?

-Yes. But you're stupid and don't get it. -Yeah, okay.

-You done? -Yeah.

No, leave that one.

Listen, why don't you do Uber?

Yeah, so? Will we make ten million more each month off Uber?

-What do we do with it? Bigger barbecues? -Yo, what's wrong with barbecues?

Precisely. What's wrong with them?

I like barbecues.

Wasn't it cool when we barbecued with Luiza and Victoria? No?

Why did Luiza leave?

-Meaning? -Yeah, Luiza. If barbecues are so cool?

Yeah, man, I was an idiot, fuck that bitch.

'Bitch,' why? Think she was better off here?

Working a whole week for a barbecue on the weekend?

So whaddya want?

Go back to having a boss,

a schedule, some guy up your ass all the time?

It was bad, but it was good, too.

Good? You spent your whole day in the car,

lugging beer crates around town to the shops like a slave.

You're missing the business cards?

-Make new ones! -Yeah, that's exactly what's missing.

"Taxi driving agent."

-I'll pay for them, it's on me. -Would you stop it with the jokes already?

I had a life. Now I don't feel like I do.

Fuck me, you got some delusions!

Oh, no! The nutjob texted me.

-Fuck the fuck off… -Wassup, man?

I left her at Dorobanți Square,

and now I gotta be on Musetesti, in Baneasa, in 90 minutes.

The fuck she do, teleport herself?

I ain't making any cash tonight.

C'mon, it's early.

-You can take a ride or two. -You paid for these, right?

Yeah, I paid for them.

C'mon, never mind, you'll pay me next time.

Hello, this is Anabella!

We're in a cab 'cause, yeah, I'm not alone!

I'm with DJ Cipi!

-My friend, Mirela, you know her from… -Hey!

We're going to Sputnik to play music.

At 11 p.m., major party, "Prosecco & Promiscuity!"

-Yo! You forgot to mention the bears! -Oh, no! I'll put it in the comments.

But how do I write this?

"Also, reminder: Our whole retainer goes to…"

-"Retainer"? You sound like my dad. -I dunno, man. The fee. The whole fee.

"Our whole fee will go to the bears."

The bear sanctuary.

-Not the bears themselves. -Why, man?

-We send it via Revolut. -Via Bearvolut!

-Like this? -Yeah, it's good.

Add the bear emoji, too.

-That's it. -Where'd you go live? On Insta?

-Yeah. -Cool.

It'd be cool to tag me, too. Like, "the cab takin' us to the party…"

-Sure. What's your handle? -Type "licar4u."

Like, "for you."

-So which one of you is playing the music? -Both of us.

Whaddya mean both?

So, like… we have this project together…

Dirty-- so, on my own, I'm DJ Cipi, and with Anabella, we're Dirty Duet.

Cool! What kinda music do you play?

Our own. Music we write. Well, we also play other stuff.

Play one of yours, will you?

How do I play it?

On your phone. Off the internet.

What kind of DJ are you, ain't got music on your phone?

-I do. -Let's see!

-Got another one? -Yeah.

Yeah, okay… I gotcha.

-Cool, huh? -Yeah, I mean, sure…

If folks listen to it, it means it's music!

But how can you listen to this?

Some folks will listen for a whole night.

Well, fuck, some folks drink piss, y'know…

So you make money outta this?

Not yet. I mean, I make some money, but not a lot.

How much do you make?

I don't know, a little.

But it doesn't matter, I'm just starting out.

You're giving some to the bears, too…

So how do you make a living? Parents helping you out to be a DJ?

-For a while, until… -Eh, see? That's stupid.

If you make proper music, you make money, too, 'cause that's a job.

Sure, you're an artist. But if you're good, you make money.

What you're doing is tomfoolery.

If you're very good, you can make money.

"If you're good!"

Jobs pay money, you gotta make it even if you're bad.

And if you're good, you make a lot. If you're very good, a whole lot!

Don't mind me saying so. You're cute and all, but…

What you're doing is fooling around on your parents' money.

C'mon, you old fart! Go!

Aw, man, this guy's so dumb, I bet he does Uber.

Right, you guys ride with Uber, right?

You took a cab 'cause Uber's gotten more expensive.

-I take Ubers sometimes. -C'mon, man, I'm no idiot.

You take Ubers all the time.

-I take Ubers more often. -Right, see?

Admit it. No problem.

Right, I almost forgot. Want a mint?

-No, thanks. -I do.

Check the pocket in front of you.

Take some for these two, save them for later.

They're not there.

Of course, for fuck's sake, this is a cab, not a candy shop!

Man, how stupid can you be?! Tell me!

They charge you 30 lei a ride

and you're happy with your candy and bottled water.

How dumb?!

I'll stop to get you two candies. Pay me five lei extra for the ride?

C'mon, I swear I'll stop. Pay me five lei extra for the ride?

-It's not about the candy. -But what?

That I play music?

I'll play whatever music you want, man.

If you pay me five lei extra, I'll even play your kind of music.

You're dumb, man.

Dumb snobs. Taken in with candy and water.

You know the price of bottled water at Metro?

Know how many candies you get for 10 lei?

Okay, we're almost there.

14.2 lei. Will we make it to 15? Let's see.

How much are you tipping me?

I'm done, i just finished my shift.

Yeah. A guy came to pick me up.

Sorry.

I don't pick the guy. Whichever taxi's available.

Got a good one today.

I don't want to go out with them anymore.

I don't mind chipping in for the bill, but I don't wanna split every leu.

Be a man and at least tip.

No, but really, now.

Are you taking me on a date or giving me math homework?

Honestly. You go, if you want to. I don't anymore.

Oh, no, that guy either. One time was enough for me.

I don't know, he's too fit.

Honestly. I didn't feel like touching him for fear of breaking something.

He, like… had all those perfect little muscles. Yeah, right.

Don't need beer bellies, but none of those himbos either.

I'm a simple, countryside girl.

If it takes you longer than me to get dressed…

-What can I get you? -Hold on a sec.

A Vogue Rose and a Monster.

-Five packs of instant coffee. -Oh, thanks.

Right. What was I saying?

I swear, in the morning it took him half an hour to get dressed.

I'd had my coffee, he'd changed five shirts.

I really can't with this type.

-Sorry. -Forty-five lei.

-What's your name? -Veronica?

Can I bum a smoke?

Thanks.

Want a cookie?

No.

You're very pretty.

Thank you.

You heard that?

Huh? What?

-C'mon, are we going? -No, let me smoke this one.

-I'm so lucky that you picked me up. -Me?

Yeah, you. How long has it been since I rode with you? Two months?

Sounds about right.

How are you? Avoiding me?

-We were out of sync. -C'mon, chief, I'm a dispatcher.

I always know where you are.

You've cut your losses.

I'm the beer belly type.

I say you got two-three more years in you.

So, you need any more innuendos from me?

Suit yourself. But I'm still married.

So, what, you think I'm marrying you? Chill, you're no husband material anyway.

Why, what's missing?

I want a guy my age, I don't fantasize about…

I wanna live, not change bedpans.

Not to mention you're already married, some other woman broke you.

True that.

Imagine me taking you to meet my dad. He's got fewer white hairs than you.

I mean, don't get me wrong.

You're super awesome.

So, what? You think I don't know it?

That's just it. That's why you're a dweeb.

No idea why I got hooked on you.

-But it is what it is, no problem. -Yeah, I don't know…

-I'm sorry. -Yeah. You know where I live, too…

I'm just saying: how much money can you make in an hour?

You're making me feel bad.

Fine, not an hour. As long as you can last.

Sorry, I really have to… Let's go.

Yeah, we're going.

You just don't wanna cross this off the list. Cool both of us off.

You fucking bitch!

Fuck these sugar baby hoes and their whole clan.

You saw that one?

Think she made the money for that car herself?

Again, you're an idiot.

Am I right, no?

How'd she make money for that car? With her ass, of course.

-Like me, you mean. -What?

Where d'ya think I got my money?

-You think I work? -I didn't mean…

What did you mean?

Yo, sucker, money's money. It's dirty no matter how you make it.

You think your money's clean?

-I work… -Sure.

But we've already agreed you don't make money.

Your owner makes money. The mayor who he bribes.

The stations where you pump gas.

-What about cops? -What about them?

The cops get money from everyone.

Well, they work the streets all day long, too.

You're very stupid.

-Please… -Whaddya want?

What do you want me to do? I was wrong, but I can't take it anymore.

"Stupid, idiot." Please!

-What got into you? -Stop talking to me like that!

I'll take you wherever you.

Set my car on fire! But don't talk to me like that.

-Aw, you wanna make up! -No!

Just stop talking to me like that, calling me an idiot.

-Whaddya want me to call you? -If I'm stupid, call me stupid.

But if I'm not, don't!

You won't quit! Am I really stupid all the time?

Don't get all worked up now!

I can't take it! Beat me, do whatever you want!

Shut it, no one's beating you. Keep driving.

-I'm sorry… -Keep driving. Talk when you're spoken to.

Did I say anything?

-I didn't mean to say I don't agree… -Really?

But there's people who work and cops who steal from them!

No one's stealing from anyone else.

See, I didn't call you stupid just now, we're cool?

-Yeah. -No one's stealing. It's capitalism.

If you'd gone to high school, you'd've known.

-I graduated high school. -Bullshit.

You were out in the yard, shooting craps.

How can I explain this to you?

Huh?

There's no clean money under capitalism.

It's all dirty. The clean money, too.

If your hand's got two clean fingers, nails trimmed,

and three dirty ones, is your hand dirty or clean?

-Dirty. -Gross! Right?

A single untrimmed nail, it's still gross.

Same goes for money.

It can't be clean if it's mixed in with the dirty.

-Right! -Right.

And then no one steals it. There's two categories of people.

Big shots and small fry.

Small fry makes as much money as their work is worth,

big shots make more, that's it.

No one's stealing from you.

You're a small fry, making as much as you're worth.

What do you do with money?

What do you mean?

I save it. I wanna get a car and join Uber.

Yeah, man, okay. What else?

Aside from this slavery.

You playin' me for a fool?

No, I'm curious.

The fuck? Thank me for talking to you.

I wanna take my mom abroad.

I wanna take her see the Vatican, in Rome.

Get a load of that!

What?

Nothing. The Vatican in Rome. Is that it?

Well, yeah, she's a Christian.

I also sent her on a tour of the monasteries.

City hall gave them some holiday tickets, but…

They ripped them off,

lugged them around in scorching heat,

in some junk busses.

She had some money from me, but…

Some folks couldn't even buy a sandwich. When they got back, I went to pick her up.

They looked really bad. Two hags started crying, a guy fainted…

Like were coming back from one of those bad jails.

But Mom was happy. She'd seen the monasteries.

-If you take her to the Vatican in Rome… -Yeah.

I don't want a poor tour, either.

I want a good hotel, restaurants.

It's sad, man.

-What? -Stuff.

This wish of yours is so cheap.

Literally cheap.

How much would it cost you? 1,500 euros? 1,000?

No! Less.

Two hundred for the flight, 150 if you book early.

Two hundred for the hotel, I want a good one.

And, like, how much can you pay for two meals per day at a restaurant?

Six hundred, 650 tops.

I can give 1000 euros right now, we just stop at an ATM, it's nothing.

-How could you? -Hold on. I won't.

I can't, 'cause I'd ruin the natural order of things.

You're a small fry who has to work to get to Rome.

I was just saying. It's cheap. For fuck's sake, it's green.

Are you eating this?

No, thank you.

How's it going?

Bad.

-What does "bad" mean? -It means bad.

I don't feel like talking about it.

I'm sorry about…

Well… what you told me earlier.

I thought about it, and…

You're right.

It's not that I don't want you anymore. Of course I do.

Maybe… I don't know, I didn't figure out what it'd be like.

I figured we'd see each other less.

But I thought if we're good when we do see each other…

No, but you're right. It's not okay.

But we'll pull through.

-We won't. -Sure, we will.

We can both chip in for that vibrator and we'll take it from there.

Liviu.

I think I want to break up.

I'll switch back to the day shift and start going to job interviews again.

-Maybe I gave up too fast. I'll go again. -Liviu.

Maybe Lica is right, too. About Uber, I mean.

It's still taxi driving, but you work more during the day, make more money.

Worth a shot, at least till I find something else.

Do you hear me?

I hear you, of course I do. I hear you.

We're not breaking up.

Victoria!

But that's what I want.

No.

Liviu, it doesn't work like that. You can't just say no.

C'mon, Mom, we can't call the ambulance every night.

Hello, ma'am!

-How are you feeling? -Better.

Have some water.

I've thought about it and I don't want us to break up.

Liviu, it doesn't work like this.

That's right!

That's right, it doesn't work like that.

After 12 years, you can't just tell me: "That's it, we're breaking up."

You can tell me you don't like it anymore, and I get it, and…

I'll try to change something, I don't know.

Maybe you want a new house. New furniture.

We'll have a baby, too.

I'm telling you I want to break up and you want a baby?

Okay, no baby. Whatever you want.

To break up.

Not that.

-Let's talk like grownups. -There's nothing to talk about.

I mean, there is, but not about this, I don't know…

We'll talk about whatever you want, I don't know…

What is it you don't like anymore?

I'll change jobs and we'll spend more time together. As much as you need!

I was thinking of…

Moving back here.

Wouldn't we have been better off

if we didn't have to come back in the country?

I can't believe you're saying this.

No, like… I mean… I didn't mean, like…

I'm not saying it was your fault. I said it back then, too.

She's your mom. It happened and that's it.

We do what we have to. We both agreed on coming back.

But…

It was bad luck.

We won't have bad luck all our lives, right?

Yeah.

I promised.

Okay?

I promised.

Yeah.

-Wassup, man? -Cheers.

Listen.

When can you pay me back?

Didn't you say that…?

I know what I said, but…

If you need it…

-I need it, yeah. -What happened?

I need it. Does it matter what for?

Yo, chill man. I said I'd give it to you, I will.

I was asking maybe I can help with something.

You can't.

Look, I'll give you two million after the weekend,

Next week, another two or three, and the rest by the end of the month. Okay?

Okay.

I wanna take Victoria on holiday.

She's tired, she's down, I don't know. I wanna surprise her.

She said she wants to break up with me.

She's not gonna, man. She's just sayin'.

I know. But it's not okay anyway.

What's she got against you, bro?

You work your ass off, 12 hours a day, seven days a week.

What else does she want?

Well, that's it. I work a lot, we don't see each other much.

-She's right. -Like hell she is.

Does money grow on trees?

-She's right, man. -She's not right at all.

Sure, you agree to get her off your case. But she's not.

Break up? Where would she find a man?

-Sure, she will. Why not? -Yeah, right. The city's full of hoes.

You go to the club, half the chicks are jail bait.

-What the… -Mark my words, bro.

-What man? We're not breaking up! -Yo!

Take it easy.

-We're not that loud-- -I can hear you through my headphones!

And you're totally clueless, of course she's breaking up with you.

Please, don't step in, it's not your business.

-Well, if you're yelling! -What are you doing?

I heard you, I have an opinion.

-Who said it was my business? -Well…

And what are you snapping at me for?

Well, no, but… It's really none of your business, ma'am!

That's right. "None of your business, ma'am."

What movies taught you such politeness?

Make sure he sees them, too.

If you wanna make it up to her, go home.

The more you let her think about it, the surer she'll be about leaving.

Why are you starin' like that? I know what I'm talking about.

Or maybe this guy knows better!

-Finish your coffee and go home. -We agreed to talk when I come back.

There's nothing left to talk about. What are you gonna talk about?

Just to… see what we're gonna do.

Did you cheat on her or you're not fucking her?

No! What? No, it has nothing to…

-It has nothing to do with this! -Of course it doesn't.

Some stuff's been adding up.

She's tired, too…

So you're going home to convince her she's tired? Or what?

I don't know.

Go home, man. Don't leave her alone.

You can't play for a draw your whole life.

Yeah.

Have your coffee and go home.

Fucking forget about it, man. Don't drink it. Just go!

-Bye. -Talk to you later, man.

-You call the chick waiting for you, too. -I don't think she is anymore. It's late.

I texted her and she said she's going to bed.

There's capitalism in fucking, too.

Big shots fuck whenever they please, small fries wait.

-True that. -True.

You a big shot? Or?

-You're out of line. -Sorry.

The question is legit.

I'm a big shot about money and a small fry about fucking. I think.

Or I used to be. I'm deffo a big shot about money, 'cause I don't work.

Otherwise, a small fry. Right?

I waited for Nelu, not the other way around.

When I met him, I think he had three women.

Yeah, but he stayed with you.

Yeah, 'cause I knew how to wait.

Whatever. It's not like I had any plans. I hadn't set out to do that.

First time we went out, I paid the bill, he didn't get it at all.

But I was patient, till he understood I was perfect on his own.

I see.

You don't.

-Why say that you do, when you don't? -I don't know.

Well, you don't get it.

You don't get it 'cause you don't know Nelu.

Sorry to say this, but…

I don't get it, 'cause…

You're with him, but you're like, I don't know…

-Like what? -Smart.

That's right. You're under the impression that Nelu is some big thug.

But I know how smart he is.

How do you think he made his money?

You know how many thugs I know, man?

Real thugs, who bend crowbars with their skulls.

Why aren't they making money?

'cause there's big-shot thugs and small-fry thugs.

I really like you 'cause you know how to listen.

-It's too much. It's not that much. -No? Have some more.

And get out of here.

-It's… -Dismissed.

-I can go? I'm not taking you anywhere? -No.

Nelu will come get me.

-If you want, we can wait for him. -No, goodbye, ma'am.

Victoria!

Victoria!

Victoria!

Is everything okay?

I don't wanna talk.

Come on, please, cut it out.

I can't talk to you.

So what do I do? Wait in the street like an idiot?

C'mon, are you playing me for a fool?

What do you want me to do? Jump over the fence? Can't I come inside?

Wait! What are you doing? Get down!

You've gone nuts.

We'll talk in the yard.

-Okay, we talk in the yard. -And you go when I tell you to.

Where am I supposed to go?

I don't know. How am I supposed to know?

But that's the only way we'll talk.

Okay, come on.

-You are not coming inside! -Yeah, I got it. Not going inside.

We talk in the yard. Come on.

How are you?

I've been crying for two hours.

How are you?

What kind of question is this?

"How are you?" What does that mean?

It means that… I care about how you're doing.

It means you have no idea.

You're just asking so you can say you talked to me.

Do you know that's what you're doing?

You come home and ask "how are you?"

What do you think I could be doing?

Okay, but what do you want me to ask?

Anything. Except "how are you?"

Okay.

I will never ask you how you're doing.

I promise. That was my last "how are you."

No, please.

Please, give me your hand.

I don't know how else to explain this to you.

I can't take this anymore.

It's nothing complicated. That's it.

When we agreed to come back, we knew it would be tough, right?

You can't be taken aback now that we see each other rarely,

that we don't do stuff together…

This is the tough part. That's what it looks like.

You know why I'm crying?

'cause you're the best man I ever met

and you never-ever hurt me in any way.

But I can't be by your side anymore.

-Understand? -No, no, no! Give me something!

What am I supposed to do with "I can't do this anymore"?

I don't understand!

Tell me what to do and I'll do it!

"I don't love you anymore"?

I do love you, but not like…

… a lover, or a boyfriend, or…

I don't know. I love you in my mind. When I see you, it all goes away.

Man!

Okay, man. You love me in your mind.

What are we talking about here? 'Cause I don't get it.

I'm your man and you're my woman, okay?

And that's all that matters.

After that, we can talk about…

anything that matters, I don't know…

About the kind of man you want me to be,

the kind of life you want to build together, anything, but…

Please, don't start with that kind of thing, like… Love…

-We're not kids anymore. -Yes, I am!

You're not a kid anymore, I still am! I don't want to build anything anymore!

I really don't wanna build anything, I've had it!

-Okay, but what do you want? -I want to… not work!

I want to stop bringing my mom her medication.

I wanna stop counting money every single day!

Most of all, I wanna stop having this pit in my stomach

every time I know you're coming back from work

and will walk through that door.

While there's a pit in my stomach.

I don't know, how about…

How about I move away from home for a while?

Give you time to chill.

Seriously.

I'll figure out where to go.

I can go live with your mom, for instance.

I'll take care of her, her medication, and all.

For a week or two, until you calm down.

-Then maybe we can go on a vacation. -Liviu, I can't go on vacation with you.

Okay, if you can't, no problem.

You go alone and we'll talk when you come back, okay?

I mean, I understand what you're saying.

No, I really do, but…

I can't… I don't know…

I mean, I don't know what to do without you, you understand?

I mean, I don't get it.

I go to work and then what do I do? Where do I go?

How are the love bugs?

Are we done? All peaceful now?

Am I interrupting?

I called you, man, but you didn't pick up.

I had this ride here, on Zambilutelor.

I thought to drop by to give you the money,

I got it from that crazy woman.

Okay, thanks.

I am interrupting, huh?

Yeah, man, okay. I'm going.

Come on, Victoria, what have you got against him?

Look at him!

-It's really not the case! -Gimme a break!

We're friends. Tell me, Victoria, what has he done to you?

-Nothing. -"Nothing"?

You're breaking up with him for nothing.

For fuck's sake, he works, brings money home.

He doesn't do hoes.

I show him some ho on the street, he shrugs like he's neutered.

-What do you want? -That ain't it.

What ain't it, Victoria? What? What d'ya want him to do?

Tell him and get upset if he doesn't. But what doesn't he do?

Shut the fuck up. You really wanna fight?

Cool, get upset. You fight with Victoria and argue with me.

-Man, please go away. -Yeah, okay.

You're both leaving.

-No, wait! -No!

You said we'll talk but you leave when I tell you to.

-Yes. -I want you to leave.

-Wait a sec! We haven't decided… -We have. Please go.

Hands off me! What are you doing?

Okay, I won't touch you!

-But we haven't decided… -What is there to decide?

What d'you want? Why are you torturing me?

-I don't wanna torture you. -You do, can't you see?

Whaddya want me to do, take vacations on my own?

What the fuck am I supposed to do there? Get a tan?

I don't wanna be with you. I don't wanna be alone. That's all.

If I go on vacation, I'm fucking the first man who gives me that look.

I don't wanna be with you, I don't wanna build!

I want a guy to fuck me till my cunt hurts!

What the fuck you just said, bitch?

Yes, just like that! Hit me!

-Yo, Liviu! -To pull my hair!

-I'll kill you! -Hit me!

-Hands off me! -Pull my hair and fuck me!

-Take your hand off me! -Okay!

Bitch, I'll kill you!

Yo, Liviu…

Yo, hands off me, you fuck!

Alright, man, okay!

-You watch out for me! -Chill out, man.

You fucking bastard…

You fucking bastard!

Hands off, man!

-You're the stupidest man I know. -Come on, Victoria.

-How can you tell the guy that if you… -Please, shut up!

-I'll shut up, but… -Shut up!

What are you doing here?

-I thought I'd help you. -Help with what?

-Who? -You two, 'cause you're my friends.

Who did you ever help?

We've known each other for so many years.

Who did you ever help?

Help yourself.

How many years have you been saying you're taking your mom to the Vatican?

Five? Six?

-I don't know… -That's how long!

You couldn't save 500 euros to take her there.

If she's so important and you keep wailing about your mommy…

-Five hundred euros! -I'll take her…

No, you won't!

You'll keep saying that till she dies,

then you'll cry, "Mommy, I didn't take you to the Vatican!"

-Yo, what's your beef with me? -I'm sick of y'all, man!

I'm sick of seeing y'all crawl like worms!

You keep lying to yourselves that you'll leave the taxi life behind.

And you lie to others, too.

Fuck you…

You know why Luiza never came back, man?

-Man, Victoria… -You gon' beat me, too, now?

-No, man, but… -How could she come back to you?

How stupid could she be?

Luiza was the smartest. She took the first opportunity out.

You didn't get it and my idiot didn't get a thing either.

"We're no longer kids!" Fuck life, family, and all of it!

-But you can't leave him? -What, did you die when Luiza left you?

No one's gonna die!

I'm 30, I've got some ten more years of being hot. I don't wanna waste them on…

Taxi drivers.

You know anything about Luiza?

Has she talked to you?

She's moved to Gent.

-Is she seeing anyone? -Yes.

-Who? -Ask her.

She doesn't answer.

I called her, emailed her…

She won't answer the phone and via email, she's, like…

"I'm fine, I'm busy."

I don't think she's coming back.

-I was such a fool, man, I really thought… -I don't care.

-I'm going inside. -Victoria, if you ever need anything…

Hi, there.

Hi.

Right…

How are you?

You high, man?

I live here. How are you?

Having a beer.

Are you pulling my leg?

-No, God forbid. -What do you mean, having a beer?

What have you done? You had a fight with your wife.

How do you know?

You're walking around town without a leash.

Yes, we fought.

Okay…

So you came here.

I've been hitting on you for a year and…

You keep fronting.

Tell me, are you suddenly in the mood for me?

Want me to leave?

None of my business. Go home, play nice.

I'll go if I'm bothering you.

Tell me, man, wanna come up?

-Oh, no. -Chill, I won't jump you in the elevator.

I was just saying you can come and we'll talk in the kitchen,

not out here on the curb.

No, I swear. I didn't even think of…

Man, you're driving me nuts. You making me beg you again.

Don't get upset with me.

Yeah.

We clearly don't get each other.

Okay.

We're gonna sit here.

And if you wanna go up, we go up and talk in the kitchen.

And then you go. Okay?

So…

She kicked you out or what?

She wants to break up… I mean…

She's broken up with me.

Tonight. An hour ago.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

But, you know, it's not…

your fault, I mean, it happens.

-It's not really like that. -Okay.

No one's ever broken up before you.

It doesn't happen, because…

It's not an accident that happens. It's…

I was an idiot.

I was an idiot and didn't get a thing.

I married her and thought she'd be the same and…

She married me and thought I'd change.

And we both got screwed over.

Change into what?

I don't know, be more…

I don't even know. Be what?

Man, I'm cold out here.

Wanna sit in the car?

Yeah. And just push the chairs back, watch the stars.

Or we look inside people's houses 'cause there's no fucking stars.

Tell me, you got a place to sleep?

I can go to my parents' in Ploiesti.

You sure you don't wanna come to my place?

No.

Then why did you come over here?

I'm sorry.

I really don't know what got into me.

Okay.

Well, I think I'll go back to my rides.

Can't sleep anyway. Might as well make some money.

Come on up.

I swear, I won't do anything to you.

I know I kept…

It was fun. But not like this.

Yeah?

I don't know, chief, I'm hitting on you, you're crying over some other chick.

It's kind of a turnoff, you know what I'm saying?

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Come on.

I'll give you a coffee, then you go, okay?

-But I'm going after that. -Yeah, man, yeah.

-Half an hour, no more. -No.

You have a coffee and go.

Yes.

Oh, no. You got scared again? I was kidding. Come on.

Okay, I gotcha.

Man, I found me the only virgin cabbie in Bucharest.

Leave him alone!

Okay!

Who you fucking, man?

-C'mon, enough! -Your mama!

-Say what, man? -You couldn't refrain for one night?

-What'd I do, hysterical bitch? -I'm living with a worm!

Who the fuck's taking you home?

Fuck your bachelor pad!

-Enough. Stop it. -We're done, chief.

'Cause you're so cool now!

No, I'm done. I'm going. Look, I'm super calm.

Here, for your next idiot!

-Delete my number from your phone! -Suck my dick!

Suck my dick too!

We're neighbors.

I don't live there. I'm going to a party.

In Rahova?

Yeah, in Rahova. What's the problem?

-What'd I say? I just asked. -Gays aren't allowed in Rahova or what?

-C'mon, pal… -Don't "pal" me. Tell me what's wrong.

Man, please, let me be.

Or what? You'll make me get out?

-No, but… -No, but?

I'm cool, man. None of my business. Big whoop, you're gay.

-You're gay, be gay. Why tell me? -Well, you look surprised.

"Wow, gays in Rahova! Never before seen."

-In the straight guy's Mecca. -Yeah, man, you're gay.

Big deal. Gimme a fucking break, I'm tired.

I've had a shitty night.

You being gay is the least of my problems. For fuck's sake.

Yeah, man, talk like a man, don't be a coward.

-Okay… -Why all the innuendos?

You think I'll bumfuck you through your jeans?

-You big hunk. -Yeah, 'cause you a real hottie.

Can I take a selfie with you?

-It'll make my boyfriend die jealous! -No, don't.

Won't be able to get rid of him after that.

-Answer him, man, don't be a dog. -Fuck him.

Answer him, man, it's obvious he wants to make up.

-Why are you such a fag? -Say what?

-Hold up, man! -Are you shitting with me?

Man, I didn't mean to…

I was just saying be nice to him.

It's obvious he wants to…

You can't play for a draw your whole life.

Lemme tell you something.

I was where that guy is right now.

This is something I lived through, okay?

Luiza used to do just the same.

I'd call her for hours and she'd reject me.

-How long are you gonna do that? -As fucking long as I want to.

Don't get all testy, man, I wasn't being mean about it.

See, he's suffering out there, you, over here. Is this good?

I know exactly what you're doing right now.

My gal used to do the same.

I'd call her, she wouldn't answer,

and then I had to go pick her up or else she gave me hell.

Fuck it. Women.

But I liked her. She had a temper.

You dig?

Okay, my buddies made fun of me sometimes, but…

I really liked her a lot.

I've had the tamed kind who never opened their mouths.

But you get bored.

Raising hell is good, too, you know.

I don't know how many times I said I'd had enough…

And now…

I cleaned up the house, painted the walls, donated all her stuff, and…

I still miss her.

She lived there for two years, but it's as if it's her house, not mine.

What's your name?

Bogdan.

C'mon, Bogdan, let's have a beer. I really don't feel like going home.

There's a shop at your destination, 50 meters up the road.

I'm sorry, I gotta get to the party.

It's not going anywhere, man.

Half an hour. A beer with the boys.

You're cute, but no.

I won't even charge you for the ride.

I pay for the ride, you pay for the beer.

No, really, I'm going to the party.

Okay, man, don't drink.

Fuck it, I just didn't wanna go home.

C'mon, Bogdan, it's right here on the corner.

Bit up the road.

-What are you doing? -Paying for the ride.

What the fuck am I, man, a leper?

Am I one of those sleazy cabbies?

-Fuck you and your money, man! -Will 20 lei do?

-I don't want any money! -Are you scolding me now?

-No, man! -Get the fare and leave me alone.

Jesus Christ, all of a sudden we're all friendly!

Yo, Bogdan!

C'mon, Bogdan, what the…

Yo, Bogdan!

You couldn't have had one beer, man?

Half an hour?

-The fuck are you doing, retard? -Who you talkin' to like this?

Fucking idiot!

Yo, fuck you, you idiot. Check where you're going, will you?

-You ran into me, idiot? -With what, you fucking retard?

Check out that priority sign there, will you?

Yeah, film me!

Film the priority sign, then come over,

lemme show you my huge dick, fucking loser!

I filmed your license plate, asshole!

Shut the fuck up, you take the tram,

but I can't work for three days, fucking dweeb!

-Look what you did to my car, jerk! -What did I do?