Original subtitles

Watch any video online with Open-SUBTITLES Free Browser extension: osdb.link/ext

“3D Sex and Zen : Extreme Ecstasy”

The Amarus Bamboo Temple on the Condensing Cliff

is the most renowned temple on Emei Mountain

lt is especially popular among people from western Sichuan

lt is in its incense heyday

The Guanyin Hall on the right houses a Bodhisattva statue

designed by the famous artist wu Daozi

which dates back to 800 years ago

The Guanyin is known to have answered to faithful's prayers positively

Thus, there are countless believers

kneeling and praying to the statue

asking for a son, health

or evil spirits to be warded off

Remember, listen to instructions and be obedient

then you will grow up fast and strong

Understand?

Yes

Are you asking about your family?

Let me figure it out

Okay

we will come back later to repay our gratitude

He really answers our prayers

Go away, go!

Get out!

This is crazy. what's going on?

How dare he blaspheme against Guanyin!

You will be damned by the Gods! Beat him... beat him to death!

This is sacrilegious

The ashes is hot!!

Let's go...

what is true happiness?

Happiness today is the cause of future misery

Future misery is the result of the happiness today

Having said that

l still prefer happiness today

l disagree

Just like the Prince of Ning

who leads a hideously luxurious life

He collects the world's most precious objects and people

But do you think he's happy?

while he gratifies his endless desire

cries of discontent arise among the people

How could he be happy and at ease while his people are suffering?

How can you compare a scumbag like him

to a sophisticated scholar like me?

l won't just let go of this incident

Lin, don't you think we're too young to get married?

we still haven't fooled around enough

l'm sure you'd regret it

lf l have a lovely wife

l wouldn't mind to lose some of my freedom

Just go and take a look

You don't have to marry him if you don't like him

l'm not getting married

Master, Mister Lin is waiting in the sitting room

l don't care!

You have to go anyways. Just to see for yourself

Miss, you really have nothing to lose

No, l'm not going

But Mr. Tie is such a square

l'm sure his daughter must be a bore

and your sex life is likely to be...

My dearest Lin, how's your father doing?

He's doing great

This is weiyangsheng, a good friend of mine

He comes to keep me company

Lin, l'm so sorry

My daughter refuses to come out. l haven't brought her up well enough

You made a trip here but l'm afraid you're not meeting her this time

ln this case, let's get going. we're actually kind of busy

Come on, let's go. Oh, goodbye then

Master, Miss is on her way out to meet the guests

Now that Miss Tie is here, l guess we should stay a while

Okay

As my daughter lost her mother at an early age

she is spoiled

For matters about herself

she always has to make her own decisions

Dad, l only decide on trivial matters

But marriage is a big thing and of course, l'll leave it to dad

for a woman should comply with the Three Obediences and Four Virtues, right?

My daughter is still not married all these years

because she is my only kid

And my son.in.law has to marry into our family

The maid is so beautiful. Their first son has to use our surname

such conditions turn many men away

well... but l'm the only son in the family. So were my father and grandfather...

Throughout 7 generations, all my patriarchal ancestors are the only sons in the family

But if l have the honour

to marry a lady like Miss Tie

l don't mind marrying into the Tie's

Okay, l've made up my mind. l'll marry into the Tie's

All my children will bear your last name

l've also made up my mind

Even my grandchildren can bear your last name

But...

l approached Lin's parents first and l have to stick to that

So....

Can l borrow a piece of paper?

Miss, he is really talented

Here's a clumsy painting of mine

l hope Mr. Tie and Miss Tie could give some comments

A picture comes to life with the artist's exquisite strokes

Her eyes watery and sparkling, her lips red

Like a woman straight out of Song Yu's prose poem

Miss Dong next door, showing only her torso above the wall

Dad, l have made up my mind

l will marry no one other than weiyangsheng

And l'll also marry no one other than Miss Tie

well...congratulations...

Lin...

Mr. wei...

Let me introduce a good friend of mine

This is Scholar Shangguan Shun

My good friend weiyangshang

Nice to meet you

You too

Master wants you to see him

Excuse me

They are Mr. and Mrs. Good Fortune

They are in their 90s

and have been happily married for more than 70 years

Master invited them to give you blessings

Mr. and Mrs. Good Fortune

hope you are all well

Good, we will give you a red pocket later

My dear, look at you

you have food all over you

Excuse me

you two have been married for decades

How can you

still be so loving to each other?

l don't know

l just know that l love her very much

And when we say “make love”

you have to make, to have love

l guess...you haven't made love for many years?

How can you still be in love?

lt is no big deal not being able to make love

You will understand when time goes by

Shit

The groom and the bride kneel to the Heaven and Earth...

So cool!

wait a minute

My dear, will it hurt?

lt will hurt, but it feels extremely awesome

Thank god it didn't hurt. But...

l wouldn't call it awesome either...

l have to admit that there is room for improvement

l guess l need more practice

improvement is absolutely possible

Did you see it?

No. l blinked and it's over

You hate Prince of Ning so much

why do you want me to bring you to the Tower of Rarities?

lf l don't go in the tiger's den

how can l collect his crime evidence?

Oh yes, good point....

Your Highness, l brought my best friend here today

l guess you don't need me to explain the rules here, do you?

Before l enter the tower, l have to make a contribution to the collection

l do understand

This is from my father's collection

l know it's not anything near a rarity

lt's not hard to find a coral this big

but it's quite rare to see one that big in bright red colour

Bring over a few of those corals

that are to be packed into the store room. Let them take a look

You think a piece of junk of such calibre could get you in the Tower of Rarities?

Now you can pick any one of these rejects

as your compensation

And don't ever come back again, okay?

My ignorance has disgraced myself

l'm in no position to accept any generous gift from your Highness

l'd better get going

l thought l've had a taste of your Highness' collection

But l didn't expect to see a counterfeit hung on the wall as if it's real

This painting has been verified by many connoisseurs

The paper, ink and the brush are all from the Tang Dynasty

even the brushstrokes are signature of wu's

On what grounds do you think it's counterfeit?

Cut open the border

you'd see the painting is made up of two layers of paper

The ingenious thing about this counterfeit is the use of rare ancient paper for tracing

The rice paper on top

was used to trace the brushstrokes of wu

But the backing sheet underneath is Chengxintang paper from the last reign of the Southern Tang kingdom

You'd see plum blossom.shaped watermarks on the backing paper

The two were over two hundred years apart

then how can it be real?

Your insight is a rarity good enough

to get you in the Tower

Thank you

The original from Scholar Yan Zhun xing

This is impossible!

This has been lost for hundreds of years

The original from Calligrapher wang xi Zi

l sent someone to dig out the Emperor's grave

Spent seven years to get it

This is the best mathematician in history

l travelled all over our country

and did my calculations according to changes in the shadows

l conclude that our land is not flat

lt is in a ball shape

The diameter of the ball

from whatever direction

is about 35,000 miles....

This place is small. l don't want to be disturbed

How old do you think he is?

with all his white hair

ln his 60s, l suppose

He thinks and does math too much

his hair turns white overnight and he also turns mental

He's only 23

My place is so big and he said it's small

And if the land is in a ball shape

How come we don't fall?

Let's go

Stupid

Look

lt's a horse

Stroke the horse

ls it...

This is the legendary Blood.sweating Horse

Ha....very amazing!

But nothing compares to the Pavilion of Ultimate Bliss

You have to take some wushi Powder before you get in though

You gotta have a taste of this ultimate bliss

everything will turn beautiful

Let's drink

l drink again?

Yes, your turn

Don't go

Let me catch you, and you will be dead

Drink with me, come on

Do you know him?

That's Shangguan Shen

He was one of my guests

at my wedding

Shangguan Shen is my guest

l let him in because

he has altogether 127 wives and concubines

Apart from the Emperor His Majesty

he has the most wives and concubines on earth

But...

They aren't good looking at all

Let me make a mark on your neck

The most beautiful woman in the world

Skin fair like icy snow

Demeanour like the autumn water. Bones like jade

A fraction of an inch taller would be too tall. A fraction of an inch shorter would be too short

This is the most discerning connoisseur in the world

She is the walking example of perfect proportion

The flawless exemplar of the word beauty

but l admire her personality most

Mister, l'm terribly sorry

Go to hell!

Miss, please don't!

Stop...

Stop...

No...

You shouldn't torture her if she has done something wrong

you should just shoot her to death!

Your hand is hurting and she is not dead yet

lt doesn't work, okay?

Don't do it next time

Hurry, or else you'll miss it

well, she is not that special...

So beautiful...

Go away, go away...

Go away

Your Highness

Her name is Ruizhu

She's a part of my rare collection

Ruizhu is unique in her sexual tricks

and her ability to boost Yin and Yang energies mutually with a man

She can make any impotent man virile again

And maintain an erection as long as he wants

But she can only serve one man each day

Of course, only those who have my approval can have sex with her

She seems interested in you

l can give my permission if you want to have sex with her

Thank you, your Highness

Hey, hold on, hold on. My permission is granted on conditions

l'm all ears

First, you have to serve me for 10 years, during which time you're on call 24.7

lf you agree, l'll let you have a day's slot with Ruizhu

ls that it? That's a deal

l haven't tried even once

Don't rush it. we have a whole day

l'm afraid l can't keep it up the whole day

Don't worry. l'll take care of it

l can't hold back anymore...

Master, weiyangsheng and Ruizhu

aven't been out of the room all day...

They are still doing it

Miss Tie is a well.bred lady of excellent manners and elegance

l chose to hang out in brothels and cold.shoulder my lovely wife

Hereby, we both agree to divorce each other

From now on, each of us is free to get married again

l've made a serious mistake

l'm indebted to her for her innocent love

l really don't have any excuse

That's enough. Put your signature down

But my love for Miss Tie will never change

Cut that crap, bastard!

You have been fooling around among other women all the time

you don't even care if your wife is sick

You are worse than an animal

Yuxiang

this brush

is my favourite and was passed on to me from my ancestors

A broken mirror can be fixed

but l'm afraid a broken brush can't be

l, weiyangshang, have decided that

l shall never paint again

Miss

Miss, your hand...

lf the two of you still love each other

why do you divorce him?

lt's my fault

l can't satisfy his needs on bed

l will never be able to give him happiness

why doesn't Dong Mei feel the pain?

A certain level of pain

can create a pleasurable feeling like reaching a climax

ls that true?

Try it out and you will know

No thanks

Your Highness

can l take a look at that painting?

Harder!

Harder!

The stamp is fake

And the inscription that says it is from the Southern Tang Dynasty

is also wrong

ls it worthless then?

How much time is it off from Southern Tang?

lt's 300 years off

Congratulations, your Highness

lt's priceless

This is an authentic work of Dong Ju

This is the oldest painting on earth

but the antique shop owner doesn't seem to be very knowledgeable

as to put on a fake stamp and inscribed some bullshit on it

Oh... what a twist!

Officially one more rare item to my collection

Good. Come with me

No one can go in except The Prince

Death is the penalty with no exception

lt hurts

what should l give you as a reward? what do you want?

There's nothing else l'd ask for

Dongmei

Congratulations, your Highness

Do you know what is pleasure comes through toil?

Coffin, for you

Bird, your favourite

Now what? who's turn?

You have us waiting every time

You dare to discard this one, you are so dead

Hurry up. Don't think too much

lf l am not allowed to think, l'd rather not play

which one should l discard?

Discard this one then you have 5 chances to win. Dump ass!

Awesome!

So Big!

l want it so much!

You think she's frigid, right?

But do you know why?

She's not frigid

The problem is you

Mr

How can it be so small?

Hey you! who told you to come this way?

East side is where Miss Tie's room is

You are just a servant

you cannot come over this side

You are fired

l'm so sorry. lt's really stupid of me and l made a terrible mistake. But please, don't fire me

Dong, he has apologized

lt's no big deal

lt's your lucky day, son! Now that Miss intercedes for you, l'll let you stay

Don't you forget to thank Miss

Yes

My name is Quan Laoshi and l thank Miss for your mercy

Oh... you don't have to... Stand up please

what are you standing there for?

Go take the coal balls into the storeroom NOw!

Yes. Yes, Sir

He said he is raising money to bury his father

Otherwise l won't even hire him

what a waste to feed you. work now

This money is for him

Some tips

Okay

Come over here

Miss gives you some tip

Thank you...

Make it quick, and hurry!

Yes, l understand

Slow poke, not a smart guy

Just with muscles, but good for nothing

You are late in everything

Take it easy, my friend

How can l? l'm really looking forward to meeting this Elder of Ultimate Bliss!

He has the most mind.blowing sex tricks in the world

Let's go

Shangguan Shen

when are you going to marry your 128th wife?

Your Highness, you are joking

Your Highness. You are late

Sit

Hope you are well

Your Highness

you said that by noon today

that Elder of Ultimate Bliss would show up?

He is not here yet

How dare he comes late to your Highness' party?

As this gentleman is so desperate

why don't you

calm his nerves by drinking with him?

Awesome

Master must be enjoying himself

You have a cute and interesting accessory...

l am the Elder of Ultimate Bliss and my name is Lee Changchun

wow...amazing

You're so ignorant, kid. Don't you know the Elder of Ultimate Bliss

is an androgynous being with extraordinary sex tricks?

l'm so pleased

to have the pleasure to eyewitness that today

My pleasure too, your Highness

As l've kind of overloaded myself a little just now

l'd like to excuse myself first if you don't mind

i need a break at home

Feel free to leave

Your Highness, you are so well endowed to begin with

if you learn his tricks from him

You will do way better

Elder of Ultimate Bliss is a monster

who possesses both male and female genitals

His skills are not something a normal person can learn

You are absolutely right, Your Highness

Let's stop talking and drink

Cheers... Let's go

where are we going?

Just follow me

This way, come over here, let's have more fun

This way, throw it here

This way, throw it here

Calm down, Ma'am. we don't mean to scare you

we're here for the Elder of Ultimate Bliss

Huh? what did you say?

They have hearing problems. They can't hear you

Master!

Godfather... who are they?

l'm so scared, godfather

Godfather?

Did they call you godfather?

why don't you kids tell these guys how old you are?

l'm 14... l'm 15

l'm 16...

Huh?

They are the leftovers of my treatments

Have you ever heard of boosting the Yang by consuming the Yin?

You're saying they look that old

because you've consumed them?

Yes, l am

Go and play

okay, let's go and play...

Ah.. Master....

So, why did you follow me here?

l had the honour

to see your sex trick this afternoon

l was so amazed

l desperately need to refine my techniques on bed

that's why l want to learn it from you

l hope you can take me as your protege

These sex tricks are strict secrets within our sect and never disclosed to anyone outsiders

l'm afraid l can't teach you

l can give you everything l have

Money is not an issue here

if l learn a couple tricks from you

l will have no regret for my life

l don't mind losing all my wealth

l'd even risk my life for them. Please!

Get up please, mister

You're just too poorly endowed

there's no point teaching you anything at all

Okay, l'll teach you

But on two conditions

Absolutely, l'm all ears

First

you'd have to do one thing for me

l'll let you know

what that is later on

Not a problem

what's the second condition?

Your valet is quite hot. Let me consume him to boost my own energy!

No, master. Don't

Didn't you say you owe me so much?

why don't you sacrifice yourself and pay me back once and for all?

No! please! lt's your chance now

we are here to help

No

Do you know what this is?

what?

Ooh... Booty hurts

lt really hurts. Someone takes him to my room

Master!

Help! Master! No!

when can we start?

Not so soon! Haven't you ever heard the saying that

“a worker sharpens his tools before he can do his job well?”

Now, you'd have to go find my old friend

the medical sage Tianjizi

l'm afraid

you have to get a new cock

Huh? A new cock?

Can't we just take a few of those pills?

The pills still need their clinical trials

there might be some serious side effects

The foundation of our sex tricks is based on studies

from Emperor Huang Di thousands of years ago

Combined with studies from other countries

the root is founded on a unique breathing method

which makes the cock able to lift anything

lt will be able to control any woman and gives her extreme pleasure

Lucky! Shut up and go inside!

How can l help you?

My name is weiyangsheng

The Elder of Ultimate Bliss told me to come here

May l ask if Tianjizi is here?

So you are here for my master? Yes

But he's dead

He's dead?

what are you here for?

l'm his second apprentice, Tiancan

l'm his first apprentice, Dique

Come in first

Come on in

Since The Elder of Ultimate Bliss asked you to come here

let us know how we can help

l want to...

No fucking way. A new cock?

who is getting a new cock?

ls someone going to get a new cock?

Hey, someone wants a new cock

Come quickly and have a look....

Get a new cock? what fucking new cock?

Let me take a look at your cock first

lt is like a dead snake

what... you let me look at stuff like these, how can l get hard?

l'll make it quick and clear

From the hardness of it, l can see

this is certainly a level 2

Erectile dysfunction

what?

Erectile dysfunction?

well, level 1 erectile dysfunction

will be just like this piece of tofu

One squish and it's over

what about level 2?

lt's not for you

Level 2 erectile dysfunction

ls like this banana without the skin. lt's soft

Are you serious? l was just too nervous before

will you get hard if you are touched by a man?

Do you want me to bump you up to level 3?

From a banana without skin

to a banana with skin, how's that?

But it's still erectile dysfunction

well, then what is normal?

Normal?

lt should sound like this. This is called normal

ls there any cure?

A super pill?

This pill is passed on from our master's ancestor

lt is especially effective for men like you

who are impotence

and help them to be robust again

they can then regain the pleasure of coitus

That's incredible!

ls there any side effect?

lt has been clinically tested

by the three of us

we guarantee it works

Oh

That means all the three of you have erectile dysfunction

Bullshit! what are you talking about?

well l mean, since both of you are experts in this area

and are the greatest doctors on earth

what are we waiting for? Please give me one of those pills

You have made the right decision

Of course...

However, it is a pity

what is?

Since this is made from a secret formula from our master

and our master has passed away

what a pity he didn't leave the formula behind

we are afraid that we have to disappoint you

lf you don't have it, maybe someone else has it?

Forget about it. lt's exclusive

lf someone else has it, it must be fake

l sincerely suggest that you make up your mind

to get a new cock

Get a new cock?

we have this book as well

This is an advanced medical handbook

Our master spent so much time

discussing this book with us when he was alive

This cock.swapping thing

has been a topic that the three of us studied for a long time

we surely want to put it into practice

You mean, you've never done one?

we've done it to a dog

And my master did it once for a man before he died

Yes

l guess no one is willing to swap his cock with yours...

Can l swap it with an animal?

Theoretically, that's possible

which animal do you want?

l'm going for the obvious if l'm gonna do it

People say “hung like a horse.” l want a horse cock

Good idea. That's brilliant

Good, a horse cock is a great thing

Horse cock. Are you sure you're capable of doing the surgery?

what?

Are you discriminating against the disabled?

Before the surgery

There are two rules that we have to strictly adhere to

First

The surgery has to be done within the time when an incense stick burns

lf we run late

your newly attached cock will be useless

Or, you'd have no cock at all

Second

You cannot have sex in one month

otherwise, it'd really be useless

Now drink this anaesthetic

you won't feel the pain after that

Relax

look around and don't focus here

lt will soon be done

Okay

lt's cut

Don't feel it? Don't feel it, right?

wipe the sweat

Hey, what the hell?

By the way, how did your master die?

Oh, he failed the cock.swapping operation

And was killed by the patient

we're physically challenged but so what?

we do our job well

we are not worse than any healthy person

Oh

The cock is squished

what?

Do you think we can still swap it?

we're such cockheads, aren't we?

No worries, we still got time

why don't we put your own cock back on?

At least you have something

That's the only way. Let's do it

Hey, no...

Don't eat my cock!

Lucky! Hey, where are you going?

No, Lucky! Don't!

Go get him!

Open its mouth!

Grab that baby sausage!

But l need an extra hand for that

Extra hand?

Use you mouth! Your mouth!

Use my mouth?

Hurry up!

Got it! l got it back!

But it's just this much left

Are you sure you still want it?

what?

Gee, we're running out of time

Either of you can give me your cock!

lt won't work even if l am willing to

lf l am willing to give up my cock

l don't have hands to do the operation

lf l give up my cock

no one can run errands for me

we don't have enough time. That's right

Don't tell me it's my fate that

l have no cock

Hey, hold it!

ls your donkey a male?

The donkey, hey! Hey, where are you going?

lf it is male, we will buy it no matter how much

we can repay what we owe you

Though we lost the horse cock but we will pay you back with a donkey's

Drown her! She deserves it!

This is Master Tie's daughter

Drag her out of water. whore!

Drown her to death!

You whore, you seduced a servant in the house...

whore! which induced your father's death

You tramp! Say your last words before being executed

l have nothing to say

Okay then

Drown her again. Throw her into the water

Stop! Stop it! Hold it there

l raped her

Quan Laoshi, did you say you raped her?

Rape is a serious crime. Don't admit it if you haven't done it

That's right. Rape is a very serious crime

Now listen! l DlD rape her

You're the rapist and you'd get drowned with her. Get him!

Come on guys, go get him! Laoshi, run!

Get him. Hold him tight

Quan, l believe what you said

For a powerful martial artist like you

to rape a flimsy lady

will be so easy

This is so evident that you did it

Enough said. Let's go

Go? Yes... l tell you to go

Mayor, you have something on your...

Take care, Mayor, take care!

Shall l get paid now?

Miss Tie

Quan is selling you to me

Are you okay with it?

Help! This is really huge!

This is unbelievable

He's got guts. He really got his cock swapped

Yes, he is my idol now

Come...

Tell Dongmei to come over. Yes, master

l want to have sex with 10 women at the same time

Come, come altogether, come

l want it... Master wei, take me

Master is taking a rest inside. Miss!

You can't go in

You saved my life

just because you want to sleep with me, right?

Now, please make it quick

You guys leave the room now

l want you to know

everything l did for you was out of love

l never force any person into doing anything

this is my principal

All my concubines

come here of their own accord

So, l want you to love me willingly

lf you want me to live with you willingly

l have one condition

l can only accept

monogamous love

l will give every one of you 3,000 teals of silver

That should be enough

You get to keep all jewellery l gave you

l don't want the money

l just want to stay with you

we will not go

why are you driving us out? Don't send us away

Please...

This is the only condition on which Yuxiang will stay and live with me

l'd rather die than live away from you

Stop. All of you don't have to go

l'm actually asking them to go just now...

l think we better...

why are you still standing here?

Come join me in serving our husband

Understand

Yes

we are here for you

Yuxiang

Yuxiang

Yuxiang...

Yuxiang

Are you awake? Master, it's you...

Hey, old man

Do you want to scare me to death?

Master, it's me...

lt's me

lt's Chow Dong

Are you really being

tortured so badly?

Cut the crap. Come over here

Do you still remember that

You promised me to do one thing for me?

Yes, l do

l want you to steal

the precious metal plate that the First Emperor of Ming

gave to the ancestor of Prince of Ning

why?

Over the last couple of years, l disguise myself as a woman

and sneak into senior officials' residences to fool around with their kids

Now l am a wanted person

only this metal plate can help me

Metal plate...is it the one

that people call it “The Golden Plate of Death Avoidance”?

Hmm...

So...how do l steal it?

where does The Prince

hide his most precious items?

(what a luck that they are all drunk...)

(wow, what arrogance to keep the key around his dick!)

(Shit! lt fucking stucks!)

(Haha, can't believe it works!)

How dare you! Stealing my metal plate?

l...

Shut up!

Your Highness

weiyangshang has a habit of stealing

This time you are caught at the scene

lt's all bullshit!

Did l say something wrong?

Don't you remember

How you snapped Yuxiang off me?

You really thought that l don't hold any grudges?

You two...

Yes

we set you up

How dare you offend the Prince of Ning!

when did l offend the Prince of Ning? You didn't?

when you talked behind my back

with that stupid monk in Amarus Bamboo Temple

Just like the Prince of Ning

who leads a hideously luxurious life

He will have his retribution soon

How can you compare a scumbag like him

to a sophisticated scholar like me?

Don't worry. l am a fair person

after l take care of you

l'll take care of that monk

You will take revenge on Monk Budai? Please don't!

Take care of your own self first

This guy is called Quan Laoshi

He is the flying dagger expert at the Tower

l sent him to the Tie Mansion

to rape your wife

which induced your father.in.law's death of a heart attack

And guess what? Your lovely wife is now Shangguan's concubine

Just because of my small talks

You want to take revenge on me like this

and on my wife? Shut up!

You join with other scholars

and write letters to the Emperor to criticize me

You're just a bastard who brings sufferings to the people of this country

l am not afraid of death if l can do some good to the people

Shut up!

l am a scholar. l will not be threatened by brute force

Death is not a big deal...

Mother Fucker! Scholar?

A scholar who just fucks women everyday

and reports me to the Emperor after fucking?

lf death is no big deal then shut up!

what a loser!

Just kill me, you bastard!

Do you know how much l spent

To fix the mess you made

Lock him up! Yes

More suffering is waiting for you, loser

walk... get up

You have to teach me your secret sex tricks

l need to learn how to give Dongmei ten orgasms in a row

l'll let you go if you can do that

Su... sure!

As long as your Highness spare my life

l've offered to teach you before, but you said you're not interested

l still want to have my own children

... well... that's kind of tough

Tell the government

that we found someone on the wanted list here

Hold on, hold on! Your Highness

l heard what you say... You want the tricks but not having no offspring

That should be fine

l will figure it out

when you came here you held tight onto this brush

l know it must be very important to you

l got it repaired

Thank you so much for your care

l'll have to return the favour in my next life

Yuxiang bids farewell...

Yuxiang...

lf anything can possibly be done to save your ex.husband

l have done it already

You are just sacrificing for nothing

lf l can die with him

together on the same day

l have no regret

Please wait here

Your Highness

This is Yuxiang, the wife of weiyangshang

Your Highness

Your Highness, where is my husband?

Come and take a look then you will know

l admire his courage to do this to himself

Otherwise, when the worms reach his bone

He will die for sure

Your Highness, l beg you

please give him treatment

l beg you... why would l do that?

lf you can help him

l'd do whatever you want me to

Please save my husband

As soon as l take this pill

l'd have an erection that lasts for 49 days and nights?

Perfectly safe?

Yes, Perfectly safe

You take one first!

Shit!

Dong Mei, ask Dong Mei to come

Hurry up, ask Dong Mei to come

Right now!

Dong Mei!

Sir...please....

l am just an official to the Emperor

l'm sorry that l'm unable to help

hmm...l understand...

Bring the treasure that is passed on to me by my ancestors

Yes, master

Open the lock. Yes Sir

Okay. Go now. Yes

You're still alive? The Prince wants to see you

Although l had snatched your love from you

you have also separated my wife and l

Now l may be handicapped for the rest of my life

Are you still angry?

well...

we are square now

Okay. Maybe l've done wrong

but Monk Budai is in his Buddhist practice for 50 years

He is absolutely innocent

l know you since six years old

and we have twenty years of friendship

Can l beg you to do one thing for me?

Please go to see Monk Budai and warn him

that The Prince is going to take revenge on him

l beg you, please do me this flavour

Look carefully!

Look carefully!

How do you want to torture me now?

Let you see something

This horse is fun to play with

lf you play with its tail

The iron lotus above it

will open and close

Stop!

Your Highness, it's my fault, l deserve it

Can you punish me and let her go?

She comes and begs me to save you

now you want me to let her go

Are you two joining together to fool me around

lf you can let her go, l can do anything!

lf you want to kill me, that's fine!

l don't want to kill you

well, let's chop it off!

lf you are willing to chop your penis off, l'll let your wife go!

No problem, chop it off!

You're willing to chop your penis off?

Okay, l want to see how you can be a man from now on

Go and catch Tiancan and Dique

Old monster

do you know why l keep you alive?

Your Highness thinks l am still useful. l will do anything you ask...

Ruizhu

You dare to feed me with some random pills

l have poisonous pills too

This pill that you have taken will give you half day's life

lf you don't have my medication in 12 hours

You will bleed from seven holes and explode before you die

You need to go to The Amarus Bamboo Temple with Rizhu

and use your exclusive

sexual arousing incense

to help Ruizhu to seduce the goddemn Monk Budai

lf you finish your mission

And come back within half day

l might give you medicine

what if.....

You talk again l will kill you right away. Go now!

Don't push. l can walk

Hurry up

Are you blind? Can't you see that l am disabled?

where are you going? we are putting up a great show now

l....

Get out!

Hurry out!

Stay and see how l fool the two of them around

l guarantee you'll feel delighted

Save Monk Budai. Save him

kneel

Save Monk Budai. Save him

Stuff his mouth

Save Monk Budai. Save...

You have a great cock that you can fuck 10 women at the same time, right?

Now l want your woman to see your cock being chopped

Take Yuxiang here!

The Royal Guards are here

How is the Emperor?

Your Highness. The Emperor is doing great

we came from the Capital without stopping

To carry out this order

we can go now

Your Highness, please

Look. My dear

My dear

what a sweet couple in love

l want to hear

what you havr to say to each other from your heart

l've divorced you

why do you come here to risk your life?

After you left

l found that l cannot live without you

But now you are risking your life

for nothing

My dear, that's fine

lf l die with you at the same time, l am satisfied

Me too...

My sweatheart... My dear...

Very touching...

l am about to cry...

Cuff them

Are you ready?

Your Highness, we're almost ready

but...

although we are not great doctors

we still have a kind heart

we consider saving lives our duty

The true love between them awakes our consciousness

to separate a loving couple

or to hurt someone's lower body

to destroy their lives?

we won't do it

The second commandment of our school of teaching is

that whoever uses his knowledge to do evil

he is disrespectful to his master

He will be punished. He will be hit by five thunders

So to say, we can lose our life and shed our blood

we cannot change our code of standard!

People like us are just stubborn!

Just plain stubborn!

Yeah!

well, life is ...

Also the art of compromising

Your Highness, how do you want it chopped?

Slice it or cut into strips?

So you can disregard the commandments from your master?

The first commandment is

“the knowledge must pass on”

lf the first commandment

is in conflict with the second

the first has priority

The two of us are the only remaining students

so we must not die

Let's make it quick. where do you want to cut?

Let's go

You must keep him alive

l ask you guys to do it because l don't want him to die so quick

l still want to play with him!

Yes

what's the matter?

You two go and take a look

Yes

lt's fine, Your Highness. l... l just need a rest

l'll be okay

Okay

Are you okay?

You can go back. l am fine

Go, go... Yes

who are you? How dare you coming here without permission?

we have the Emperor's order to arrest The Prince of Ning

Put down your weapons, or else, you'll be killed

Your husband is about to lose his cock

He cannot have sex with you for the rest for his life

Yuxiang, l am so sorry to you...

Cut it

Bite it tight

My dear husband, even if we cannot make love anymore

lt is not important

As long as l know that

you love me

And that's the greatest satisfaction

They can kill us

but they cannot separate our hearts

My dear husband, l love you!

Abbot!

who is it?

My master is weiyangshang

He sent me here to bring some Buddha books to you

Your master has a kind heart

Please tell him l am very thankful

Not a problem. Abbot, l am leaving now

what's the matter...

Are you okay?

So...is it okay

...to let Yuxiang go....

Let her go?

l am a man of my word

l haven't played enough of her

Let her go! You bastard!

This is an iron chastity belt

made by the first Jin Emperor

ln the world, except with this key in my hand

no one can open it

l'm going to put the belt on her

From now on, she is unable to have sex for the rest of her life

No one can even touch her

you are an animal! Scumbag!

Go away, loser

Since you don't have your cock anymore

l'll fuck her well for you

l'll kill you

l am going to fuck her now

Stop!

Tianchan

Go

You really piss us off

Stop

Dique

Disabled but not useless

Both of us are disabled for our life

You are different. You will get punished

Punished?

Retribution?

who dares to stop me anymore!

l am going to fuck your wife now!

That's odd. You don't seem sick from your pulses

But... Venerable Sir

lt really hurts in my stomach

Now you're in such pain, l have to get someone to help you...

You don't have to get help

ln fact, l've had this weird sickness ever since l was a child

On the first day of every month, and whenever there's a full moon

my stomach hurts like hell inexplicably

How can there be such a weird sickness in this world!

But my pain will go away if Venerable Sir would help me

lf you warms my tummy up with yours

the pain will be alleviated

Huh? l've never heard of such treatment all my life

Never

Venerable Sir, just like this

Yes, just like this

lf you are feeling better, you can get up now

Not so soon, Venerable Sir

Just hang in there for a bit longer. l'm gonna be okay soon

Could you please?

what?

where did the flying dagger come from?

No, please get up

why are you taking off your clothes?

You are a woman!

Excuse me. what are you doing? Are you blind?

That's so rude. Excuse me

Help!

Help!

what are you doing?

Stop, please stop. You....

what are you doing?

Get away from me

Form is emptiness, emptiness is form...

He threw the flying daggers. Catch him

Run...

l fed your wife so well

l will kill you!

She is not that much fun

Put the chastity belt on

Form is emptiness, emptiness is form...

Namo Amitabha

Form is emptiness, emptiness is form...

Abbot, are you all empty now?

Namo Amitabha

Form is emptiness, emptiness is form...

Namo Amitabha

You won't be able to open it for the rest of your life

My dear wife

do you still remember?

A picture comes to life with the artist's exquisite strokes

The most wonderful moment of my life

ls the day when l first met you

l've been with many women

Every night l sleep on human praying mat

what l've learnt is

that physical pleasure is not real joy

Real love is the most valuable

My sweetheart

My dear

Your Highness

The Emperor has sent his Royal Guard

to arrest you

They said you are helping a wanted man to hide

Your Highness, please leave now!

Fine, you go first!

Thank you, Your Highness...

See who still wants to go!

Go

Trip me?

Abbot...

The Abbot killed himself for some reason!

Abbot!

Abbot!

My 50 years of Buddhist practice and prayer are all ruined in one night

l can't rest in peace

Abbot...

Abbot died because of the two people who were just here

Even Buddha is angry this time!

Catch him! Yes!

Go!

Abbot ... Abbot... Abbot...

Catch him! Catch him!

Chop me?

You will never have the chance in your life

Don't go. Stand Still. Stop there

Don't go. Stand Still

Stand Still

Stop there. keep chasing!

Stand still. They are here!

Don't let them go

Are you okay?

Stand Still

Catch them

Don't go

Stop

we cannot let them go

Chase him

Catch them ...

Don't go, you!

Stop there. Don't think you can go

Stand still. what?

what's going on? what is it?

weiyangshang, you are my friend

why did you bad.mouth me?

And criticized me in front of the emperor?

why are you laughing?

what are you laughing at?

l will kill your wife now

The Emperor's order is to arrest The Prince of Ning

Yuxiang.....

Did you see this? The Metal Plate!

who dares to arrest me?

kneel down now, or l will kill his whole family!

Chief Official?

Even with the Emperor's order, what can you do?

Traitor

l am killing him in front of you

Please find a way to help...

l am just a government official. l can't help...

l am going to kill you now

You shot me?!

Fuck, how could you miss?!

l will chop your penis off!

Arrest them all. Yes

My sweetheart

My dear husband

My dear husband... My dear husband

My dear husband

First bow

Second bow, third bow

Please drink tea

After drinking this tea, you are blessed with fortune. Congratulations, congratulations

This couple are in their 90s

they have been happily married for decades

They come here to give you blessings

Mr. and Mrs. Good Fortune

Greetings

Good

l will give you a red packet later on

May l ask

how can you stay in love for decades

Because l love her dearly

But, from what l can see

l dare say you haven't had sex for a long time

lf you don't make, you won't have love, right?

Chastity belt?

when we were your age

we were unable to do it already

My dear, there are so many people here

That's embarrassing

...ill...

Young man, it doesn't matter if you can do it or not

you will understand as time goes by

Let's take a walk

Okay

Fuck, what nonsense. How werid

Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/74xj2 Help other users to choose the best subtitles