All language subtitles for Call the Midwife S08E05 Episode 8.5.DVDRip.NonHI.en.BBC

Who are we, after all?

Are we where we live?

Are we the rituals we
celebrate year after year

as the seasons roll round?

Are we our hopes
and our desires?

Are we what we
choose to be and do?

Or are we shaped by accident
and not our own design?

And they lived happily
ever after. The end.

Course they did. It's
why we read them, isn't it?

- I don't read them.
- Why not?

I don't believe in
love at first sight.

Who does?

But there's nothing wrong
with a bit of escapism.

I'll leave that there
for you, Lucille.

Hm!

Here's the list of appointments
for today's cervical smear clinic.

A copy for Nurse
Franklin and one for me.

Thank you, Miss Higgins.

- How many ladies altogether?
- 15, would you believe?

That's excellent!

There's always a sense of
anticipation when we start a new clinic.

Especially one as
pioneering as this one.

Let's serve tea and biscuits
straight away, in case of nerves.

We have to remember none of
them will have had this test before.

I might need a cup.
First time for them,

first time for us, too.

- All set?
- I think so.

This new cervical cancer
test will save lives, Shelagh,

so I am thrilled to be
asked to participate.

While I do not wish to rain
on your parade, Dr. Turner,

won't it also add considerably
to the surgery's workload?

I could always ask the
council to give us some support,

but I don't want them to
think that we can't manage.

They're trusting
us to deliver this.

We'll manage. I'm sure of it.

George and I have
waited a long time for this.

After we lost our first, we didn't
think we'd get another chance.

Then, when we found out,

I was scared I'd be no
good at being pregnant.

And now I'm scared I'd
be no good at being a mum.

Everything's going to
be absolutely splendid.

Baby's ticking over nicely,

and you've been a regular
at our Mothercraft classes.

I'm going to drag George
along to the next one.

I think he's a bit embarrassed
that folk might think he's soft.

The first one's ready.

There we are, ready.

Mrs. Porter is first up.

I'll call her in.

Mrs. Porter, please.

In for a penny...

If men had what
we've got down there,

they wouldn't be
getting scraped.

Consider yourself the vanguard.

A few moments' discomfort and
you're helping to protect yourself,

your daughters and the generations
of women who come after you.

You're a heroine, Mrs. Porter.

Righto.

How are we doing, Nurse?

- Ready, Doctor.
- Can we get on with it?

I need to get my sheets
out before the weather turns.

Just relax, Mrs. Porter.

The speculum
may feel a little cold.

And that's it done.

- That wasn't too bad, was it?
- I've had worse up there, believe me.

Bronwyn Parry, please.

That's me.

But my name's Lois, not Bronwyn.

Bronwyn is my mum.

She got the letter but didn't want
to come, so I'm here in her place.

Your mother will have been invited
because she's over 35 and has had a baby.

I'm very happy to say

that you're not at risk of developing
cervical cancer at the moment.

Can I just have the test anyway?

I'm getting married soon and I want
to check everything's... you know.

If it's contraception
you're concerned about,

we do have a
Women's Advice Clinic.

The wedding's in a month.

Can't you just
take a look, please?

Why? Is there
something worrying you?

I haven't had a period.

Since when?

Ever. I've never had one.

Not ever.

What color do you want?

I better take
both, just in case.

Sometimes I think it's a
boy cos the amount it kicks,

but then I think it's a
girl cos it goes all quiet

when Sing Something Simple's on.

Ah, well, whatever
it is, it'll be a little joy.

Why don't you take the
lemon? That will do both.

Give us a yard and
a half of that, then.

George will go daft when he
sees I'm knitting more cardies.

We can't move for them as it is.

I keep seeing your George
in that cafe round the corner,

tucking in to his fry-ups.

I said to him, he'd better
watch it or you'll be coming to me

for expanders for his trousers.

- Sandy Lawrence's caff?
- That's the one.

I'll be as quick and
as gentle as possible.

All done, Miss Parry.

Now,

why don't you sit up, get yourself
sorted, and we'll have a chat.

There's nothing wrong, is there?

First batch done and
ready to go to the lab.

What, is it? What's wrong?

I've just seen a young woman
who hasn't started her periods.

She's 22 years old, Shelagh,
and I couldn't find her cervix,

and she has a very short vagina.

I've referred her St. Cuthbert's
as a matter of urgency,

but she's about to get married.

Oh, no.

I do hope her young
man is a nice one.

I knew something wasn't right.

When all the girls in school
were getting their monthlies and I...

I wasn't.

What about your mother?

She must've noticed you
weren't using sanitary protection.

I lied to her.

I see.

She'd buy me sanitary towels and
I didn't know what to do with them,

cos I didn't want
her to realize.

So I said I'd put
them in the bin myself

cos I was too
embarrassed for her to do it.

I felt so bad lying to her.

You might want to tell her now,

then she can go to
the hospital with you.

No! Don't tell her! Please.

How did you get on? Did
you get them? You know...

They said I've got to go to the
Women's Advice Clinic for them,

so they'll make an
appointment and sort me out.

Good. That's good.
Hey, not long now.

We won't have to
wait that much longer.

Come on.

- That does not sound good.
- It certainly doesn't sound healthy.

Apologies, ladies.

I offer you a lift home and
you'd have been quicker walking.

It might be your head
gasket, Nurse Crane.

Morris Minors are
wonderfully reliable little cars,

but sometimes even
they can let you down.

My father's a veteran
car enthusiast.

He taught me a
little about engines.

I'm afraid you both might
have to get out and push.

This is becoming a
bit of a habit, Phyllis.

Oh, dear.

What's wrong? Don't you like it?

It's not that, it's just
er, I'm not hungry.

- I had a big lunch.
- What did you have?

Bacon, couple of eggs,
sausages, three rounds of toast.

Blimey!

I thought I was meant
to be eating for two!

Where did you go?

The caff near work.

- Does Sandy Lawrence still work there?
- Think so. Why?

Just wondering.

- Sister Frances, I have a task for you.
- Yes, Sister?

I'd like you to supervise our
Mothercraft class this evening.

It's our "bathing baby"
session, one of our most popular,

and the fathers are
encouraged to attend.

I think you'd get a
great deal from it.

I'm very sorry,
Sister, but I can't do it.

I've been petrified of speaking
in public since I was seven

and I was the narrator
in the Nativity play.

And I froze just as the wise
men were arriving at the stable.

They didn't know if they
were coming or going.

I see.

Well, I'm sure Nurse Dyer would be
prepared to offer her moral support.

Of course, I'd be happy to.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you so much.

Better get a move on,
love, you'll be late for work.

- Got the morning off.
- You're not ill, are you?

Course not. I have to go
and order the wedding cake

and this is the only
time the baker could do it.

- Don't you want me to come with you?
- No, it's fine. I can do it.

Oh. I thought we
could pick it together.

I was looking forward to it.

Sorry, Mum, but I really want
to do that one thing by myself.

We've done everything
else together, haven't we?

It's just the cake. That's all.

Miss Parry?

Hm.

And...

What do you notice
about the genital area?

Anyone?

Come on. It's staring
you in the face.

- Lack of pubic hair, sir.
- Correct.

And why might that be?

Any thoughts?

Underactive adrenal gland, sir?

Possibly, but
unlikely in this case.

Just relax, this
won't take long.

Right, Nurse
Crane, turn her over.

It appears you're having some
difficulty persuading your vehicle

to obey your command.

Thankfully your powers of observation
have not deserted you, Sister,

even though my engine seems
to have given up the ghost.

Perhaps you are being
a little too demanding.

A gentle persuasion is often
more effective than a heavy hand.

Best get a mechanic to
take a look, Nurse Crane.

I know a bloke who comes
highly recommended.

A mechanic who comes
highly recommended? Gold dust!

It's perfectly normal
to feel nervous

the first time you bath baby,

but the important
thing to remember is...

..is...

..is...

..to test the temperature of the
water before lowering baby in.

So, you do this
using your elbow.

Oh, dear! Oh, dear, oh, dear!

You'll be brilliant.
They're just people.

Imagine them naked,
then they'll hold no fear.

Oh.

Hello. Can I help?

Good morning, Miss,
I'm sorry to bother you,

but I'm looking for Nurse
Phyllis Crane. Mr. Buckle sent me.

It's about her car.

She's out on call just
now, but she left her keys.

Come in, I'll get them.

Oh, my goodness, Miss
Parry! Whatever's happened?!

- Are you all right?
- Dr. Turner, I... I have to see him.

- Please!
- I'm afraid he's not here.

Come on, George.

It was horrible.

He had these
students there, all men,

and he didn't tell me
what he was doing or why.

He found something in
my stomach, I know he did.

Here.

Don't worry. We'll
get to the bottom of it.

Hello?

Oh. I thought you should know,
you're causing an obstruction.

Oh, my apologies, Nurse.

I haven't quite mastered the
ability to diagnose my patient

without a good
look at the chassis.

Cyril Robinson.

- Oh, I better not shake.
- No, best not.

As long as you
don't think I'm rude.

Just a bit loud.

I'll keep it down.

Even though it's something
of a sacrifice, Cyril,

the last cherry
macaroon is yours.

I'm honored, Sister.

I see you have already made the
acquaintance of our dear Nurse Anderson.

She used to be a librarian
before she found her true path.

See you inside, Sister.

Nice to meet you, Mr. Robinson.

So, this is the engine.

It takes fuel from the tank

and ignites it with a spark.

So, the workings
of this automobile

are not unlike the
workings of the human body.

It requires fuel to power it,
a heart to keep it running,

lights to shine the way,

and a system that
prevents overheating.

I couldn't have put
that better myself.

You all right, Mrs. Sharp?

Sorry, my husband's late.

Oh, don't worry, I
can be Dad for now.

I don't know where he's got to.

I'll kill him when I see him.

Now, Sister Frances is going
to demonstrate the best way

to hold baby as you start
to lower it into the bath.

The important thing is
to support baby's head.

Like this.

We want baby to
feel safe and secure.

The last thing you want is a
wriggling infant near a bath of water.

That's it, Mr. Barton,
but gently.

You don't want to drown baby.

Just lower baby
slowly into the water,

so it covers their
tummy and their legs,

then gently splash.

That's great.

Well done.

Oh, that's it, Mr. Barton,
support the head.

The head. Little splashes.

You don't want to cause a flood.

What do you do
when water gets in it?

You just pull its
leg off... and pour.

Although I wouldn't try
that on an actual baby.

There you go, George.

You know, if you're not careful,
you're going to grow a pair of trotters.

Thought I'd find you here. I see
you're being well taken care of.

I was hungry.

We've got food at home.
You missed the class, George.

- Sorry, I forgot.
- Oh, charming.

Come on, we're going.

George, don't forget your
butty, whatever you do.

I'll take that, thank
you very much.

That's it, Angela, stand still.

Oh!

You've grown a
whole inch! Clever girl.

Come on, May, let's
measure you, too.

We can write your name
next to everyone else's.

Honestly, Patrick, if you could
have seen how upset Lois Parry was.

Perhaps I shouldn't have
rushed to get her an appointment.

Kenley is always a bit
of a blunt instrument.

I could've asked for a
more sympathetic consultant

if we'd been prepared to wait.

I do think any further diagnosis would
be better coming from you, Patrick.

We could get the
information from Mr. Kenley

and pass it on
with Trixie's help.

- Lois seems to like her.
- Hm. That's a good idea.

I do feel a bit out of my depth,

and I can only imagine
what that poor girl is feeling.

Dad, can I take these?

They've been in the cupboard
since the Jurassic age.

The Triassic, more likely.

I bought them in case we
ever got to the Cup Final.

- Where are you going with those?
- Clive's.

There's a few of us going round
to listen to A Hard Day's Night.

The Beatles do seem a bit
nicer than the Rolling Stones.

And Paul McCartney's
mother was a midwife.

We just have to check if
you're tall enough to drink beer.

Oh. It seems you are.

I've replaced the head gasket
and it's still refusing to budge.

It's probably the valves.

How long will that take to fix?

Two days.

Maybe three.

Two days will have
to suffice, please.

I'm not prepared to do my rounds
on a bus any longer than that.

The timetables
are a work of fiction.

Nurse Crane? Still not working?

It would appear not,
and I have rounds to do.

Well, I'm off-duty today.

Uh... uh... uh, please
allow me to give you a lift.

Very well. Thank you.

When things don't seem
quite right on the outside,

it often means that there are more
worrying problems on the inside.

When Mr. Kenley examined
you, he discovered that your vagina

was much shorter than it should
be, and he couldn't find a womb.

Do you understand, Lois?

He discovered that you
have a very rare condition.

Where your ovaries
would normally be,

he found two male
testes growing.

It's called testicular
feminization syndrome.

I know this must be
a terrible shock, Lois.

We'll help you in
any way that we can.

In very simple terms, it
means that, on the outside,

you look like a woman,
but, genetically, you're male.

No! Please, no, no.

Please, I can't, I can't...

Nurse Franklin and I
have talked about all of this,

so I'm going to leave
you with her now,

and you can take
your time and take it in.

Is he saying that though I look
like a woman, I'm really a man?

Is that what he's saying?

He's saying that you're
a mixture of both sexes.

Oh, God! Oh, God!

I don't have a womb!

How am I going to have children?

How am I going to tell Paul?
He wants to be a dad so badly.

There are other ways
to be a mother, Lois,

without becoming pregnant.

What about...

What about...

How will we...

..on the wedding night?

An intimate relationship
might still be possible.

How can we have a relationship at
all, when I'm not who Paul thinks I am?

You don't have to drive me
to every house call, you know.

I'm perfectly capable
of using public transport.

I have no doubt you'd be perfectly
capable of doing most things,

but I'm happy to be of service.

I would be delighted if
you'd do me the honor

of spending some more
time in my company.

Perhaps a visit to
the theatre this time?

Or dinner, even?

Oh, look, we're here already!

Thank you.

Oh, Patrick...

I didn't make a very
good job of that, I'm afraid.

This might make
you feel a little better.

The Local Health Authority
have written to commend us

for the way we've handled
the cervical smear clinic.

They want us to
increase our numbers.

This is good, isn't it?

Think how many more
women we'll be able to screen.

But you're going to need help.

Do you think Trixie
would be interested?

- I'm sure she would.
- Hm.

Hello, pet, you're late.

I've kept you some
tea. It's in the oven.

Thanks, Mum, but
I'm not that hungry.

- But Paul will be here in a minute.
- So he will.

Is everything all right?

Have you two had
a row or something?

No. I'm just tired.

This'll cheer you up.
The invitations arrived.

They're so fancy, Lois.
Show them, Nancy.

I'll look at them later.

Has it started? Is it coming?

No, Mr. Sharp, it's just
your wife's body practicing.

Your clever baby's getting
ready. We call these Braxton Hicks.

I like to think of them as a dress
rehearsal for the opening night.

How does my body
know to do that?

When you think about
it, it's beyond belief.

Where are you going?

Out. I said I'd meet
Marty for a pint.

I won't be late.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I... I shouldn't have.
I... I just... I'm sorry.

- I just don't want to.
- What's wrong?

Nothing.

Why does something have to
be wrong? I just don't want to.

Why don't you go and
I'll see you tomorrow?

Did I hear that Nurse
Crane's mechanic has been

teaching you all about car
engines, Sister Monica Joan?

Oh, Cyril is much more
than a mechanic, my dear.

He is a scholar who
spends his evenings

in the pursuit of learning

and his Sundays in
the worship of God.

He's a part-time
preacher, you know.

Huh. Really?

Did you know that, Lucille?

Why would I know it?

Oh, I just thought you might.

What's he studying,
Sister? Do you know?

Engineering. The civil kind.

The kind most suited to a young
gentleman of his disposition.

Well, he sounds
most interesting and...

..eligible.

Now, if you'll excuse me, ladies,
I have my own studies to attend.

Wishing and hoping

And thinking and praying

Planning and dreaming

Each night of his charms

That won't get you into his arms

So if you're
looking to find love

You can share

You won't get him

Thinking and a-praying

Wishing and a-hoping

Cos wishing and kissing

And squeezing and loving

Yeah, just do it

And after you do

You will be his

You will be his...

Oh, Lois.

Mrs. Turner telephoned
to tell me you were coming.

She was very kind.

She said I would find you here.

I don't know what to do, Nurse.

I just don't
understand any of it.

I know Dr. Turner
said that I'm...

..I'm a man inside...

..but I look like a woman...

..don't I?

I still want to wear dresses and
make-up and do my hair nice.

I still have those
feelings for Paul.

If I can't understand
it, how is he going to?

The one thing that helped me when I
was trying to understand my problem

was talking to people
in the same position.

Might help you, too, if
we can find someone.

I don't know if I could.

I can't bear the thought
of anyone knowing.

Sometimes it is easier to talk
to strangers than our loved ones.

My Paul...

..he doesn't deserve this.

We're saving up.

We had it all mapped out.

Children... everything.

He's a lovely man.

I've let him down.

Oh, Lois...

You haven't done anything wrong.

It's the way that you were born
and none of us can control that.

What about your mum?

Would you like me
to talk to her with you?

I can't.

I just can't.

All right, sweetie.

All right.

Sister, can I ask you something?

You can ask, but I can't
promise to have the answer.

It's not about me or the baby,

it's George.

It's been so hard for him,
these past few months.

I've been a bit
wrapped up in myself.

And we haven't had... you know,

for months.

In case.

And he's been
very good about it...

..but now he's
acting all strange.

He's hiding
something, I know it.

And I think he's
having an affair

with the woman from
the cafe near his work.

Whatever makes you think that?

He's developed a taste for
bacon and he's never liked it

and he's getting a bit fat.

That's hardly conclusive proof
of an extra-marital dalliance.

And now you need to
concentrate on baby.

You and Mr. Sharp can
have a thorough tete-a-tete

once baby's here and safe.

Nurse, can I borrow you?

I promised Nurse Crane I'd
get this done by tomorrow.

I just need a bit of help
to turn the engine over.

It'll only take a minute.

As long as it's quick.

Right, when I say, put one
foot on the pedal on the left

and one on the
pedal on the right.

Do you want me to do
anything with the gear stick?

No, no. Just turn the key.

You've done it?

Yeah, gently. Not too much.

Argh!

It's nothing. It's
just a slight burn.

I wasn't concentrating.

Thank you.

I don't usually injure myself.

Mind on other things.

It happens.

Where are you from?

I came over from British Guiana.

Sister Monica Joan tells
me you are mechanic by day

and a scholar by night.
Of Civil Engineering?

They're not that
different from each other.

They're both about
putting things together.

Or fixing them when they
break down. I fix things.

And you fix people.

Do you like to dance,
Nurse Anderson?

Of course. Who doesn't?

Would you like to come dancing
with me one Saturday night?

I'm a member of a
very good social club.

I am very flattered,
but I'm going to decline.

I am here to work, Cyril,

and I cannot allow
myself to get distracted.

I understand.

Completely.

Nonnatus House.
Midwife speaking.

Hello. It's George Sharp here.

It's my wife, Pam. I
think she's started.

Come quickly, won't you?

Nurse Anderson...

..from the first moment I
encountered you, I sensed a spirit.

Free.

Fearless.

It would pain me to think your time
spent within these hallowed walls

had rendered you earthbound.

You were listening, Sister.

I was in the vicinity and
words floated to my ears.

Ooh!

I promised to bring that
nice young man a cup of tea.

But I suddenly feel weary.

I must rest.

Perhaps you... could oblige?

Thank you!

Sister Monica Joan
asked me to bring you this.

Thanks.

No music?

I was thinking of you.

It is your last night.

You're my Miss Jamaica...

There's always music
in the streets back home.

I'd forgotten
that till you came.

Well, if you won't come
dancing with me to a club,

dance with me now.

What, here?

Yes, here.

I... I... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm crowning you myself

Cos you're my Miss Jamaica

Miss Jamaica

Miss Jamaica...

The cavalry's arrived.

Your wife's in the bedroom, yes?

That answers my question.

Why don't you pop the kettle on, Mr. Sharp,
and make yourself a nice cup of tea?

- Argh!
- Are you feeling all right, Mr. Sharp?

I'm fine... I'm fine. It
just comes over me.

Sister Hilda, is that you?

I think I'm dying.

Yes, Mrs Sharp, it's me, and
you sound fairly alive to me.

You go. I'll be
there in a minute.

It's... it's gone now.

So I see. How often
does this happen?

About every five minutes.

I don't understand, Lois. Why?

Why? What's happened? Why?

Why?

Because I don't have those
feelings for you anymore.

And it's not fair.

No, no, this isn't you,
Lois. This isn't like you.

- I don't believe you.
- It's the truth.

I don't believe you.

Find somebody else, Paul.

Somebody that can
make you happy.

Because I can't.

I don't want it.

What am I supposed to
do with that? It's yours.

It will only ever be yours.

Oh!

I want it to be over.
Please let it be over.

It will be. Baby can't
stay in there forever.

- Now, do you prefer Pam or Pamela?
- Pam.

I hate Pamela.

My little brother used
to call me Spamela.

Sister, is my George all right?

That's it, Pam.

Breathe with the contraction.

Let it wash over
you. That's it, darling.

Good girl.

Argh... Arrgh!

Don't you worry, Pam.

Concentrate on
what you have to do.

Contraction's
nearly gone. That's it.

That's it.

Lovely.

What's wrong with
George, Sister?

Your pulse is a little fast,
but your temperature's normal.

How are your movements,
Mr. Sharp? Any constipation?

I'd just like to feel
your stomach, if I may?

I'll send for the doctor
just to be on the safe side.

I've examined you thoroughly.

I don't think there's
anything seriously wrong.

It's more likely to
be a touch of anxiety.

When my eldest was born, I was
a nervous wreck, and I'm a doctor.

Anxiety? What, it could
do something like this?

Absolutely.

Come on, Pam!

For God's sake,
just push, will ya?!

Don't you talk to me
like that, George Sharp!

This is all your bloody fault!

I need a fag.

Aaaaaaarrrrrh!

Ooooh.

Cyril asked me to
go dancing with him.

- Good for him.
- I said no.

I wish I'd said yes now.

Well, it's not too late.

You are allowed to
change your mind.

I seem to have an admirer too.

And I think I'm being
a bit of a coward.

I shall have to face the
music, as should you.

Goodnight.

Short breaths for me,
darling. That's it, little breaths.

Pant for me, darling.

That's it.

You're doing beautifully, Pam.

Baby's almost with you.

Here comes baby.

Big push.

Aaaargh!

Look at you, little beauty.

Well done. You have a perfect
daughter, Pam. You've done so well.

There, there.

There you are.

Hello, darling.

Thank God that's over.

You all right, love?
You're very quiet.

Lois, what's...

What have you done?

Why did you do this?

Why?

Your lovely, lovely dress. Why?

Lois?

Lois, your poor father, he would
turn in his grave if he saw this.

What are you going
to get married in now?

The wedding's off.

- What do you mean, it's off?
- It's not happening, Mum.

Did he break it off?
If he has, I'll kill him!

He didn't.

I did.

Don't you want to
know what we've had?

I don't care. Just
glad it's here.

She, George.

You've got a daughter.

Tell you what, you women
don't half go through it.

I'll never moan about
a cold ever again.

Good evening and welcome.

Even at this late hour.

How may I be of assistance?

Assistance?! You've
got a damn cheek!

You and your assistance
has ruined my daughter's life.

- I... I...
- Do you know that? Do you?

I... I... I think that you...

If you had done your job
properly when you were meant to,

she would not be like this
now. This is all your fault.

- What's wrong? What's happening?
- I'm confused.

- May I ask...
- I'm glad you're here.

You need to know what
she's done to my girl.

May I ask you to refrain from speaking to
or about Sister Monica Joan in this way?

She is a senior midwife and
deserves your respect, not your anger.

Please sit down, Mrs. Parry.

I know she's old, but
she wasn't old then.

She should've known there was
something wrong with my Lois

when she was born.

She was my midwife.
It was her job to know.

She told me she was a girl.

She's got boy's bits... inside.

I had heard something of
this from Nurse Franklin.

I understand how...

..deeply upsetting this must be.

And a terrible
shock for all of you.

Please, come and sit down.

I don't have the details of your
daughter's case, Mrs. Parry.

From what I understand,
Lois outwardly looks female.

She would've appeared
to be a normal...

..baby girl when she was born

and Sister Monica Joan would
have had no reason to think otherwise.

Well, she isn't now.

Not now.

20 years, I've watched
my little girl grow.

20 years.

Then, today, because of some
bloody test, everything's changed.

Lois hasn't. She's still
the same person she was.

I'm her mother.

How did I not know?

All those... years.

If I'd had a notion, I could've
prepared myself better.

How is she ever
going to get over this?

Don't chide
yourself, Mrs. Parry.

Lois will come to understand
that you and her sister

and others will love
her for who she is.

You will be her strength,

as you have been since
the day she was born.

Lois.

Lois.

Lois.

Mum.

Mum!

What's wrong with her?

Go and phone an
ambulance. Hurry! Hurry!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Just when I think one job's finished,
Io and behold, there's another.

That's fatherhood, George.

So, are you feeling better now?

Yeah. All the pain's gone.

What was that all about?

I think it was all about
grief over your first baby

and anxiety about the new one.

Emotional distress expressing
itself through physical symptoms.

So you're saying it
was all in my head?

All that pain and
massive stomach?

It was all very real to you.

It's a condition known
as Couvade, George.

In layman's terms, you
had a phantom pregnancy.

You experienced all the symptoms
of pregnancy along with your wife.

- I felt like I was going mad.
- No.

You just have a very, very
close bond with your wife.

The only phantom pregnancy I
ever heard of was in a cocker spaniel.

Yeah?

I just couldn't face the
thought of telling another soul.

Your mother was in shock, Lois.

She didn't mean
to react like that.

I wish everything was
the same as it was,

but I know it can't be now.

Everything's different.

I'm not the same me anymore.

You're still the same
kind, lovely person,

with a family and fiance
who love you very much.

That hasn't changed.

Our bodies are only
part of who we are.

I want to understand mine now.

When you feel stronger,

we can make you an appointment
at the Women's Advice Clinic.

They'll try to help
you find a way ahead.

Will you be there?

I'll try.

Oh, hello. Is that Cyril?

It's Lucille.

If you do this work at the
Women's Advice Clinic,

it will have to be
in your own time,

as work on the district
continues to grow.

I know that, Sister,

but I want to work in a
place where women feel able

to come and ask for help without
feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable.

Where they can talk in confidence
to other women who are sympathetic

and understand some of
what they're going through.

Then you have my permission.

Why don't you go
talk to him, love?

He's been out there every day.

Waiting.

You rest now.

They said I don't have to tell
anyone anything if I don't want to.

- I'm sorry, Mum.
- Don't you dare say that.

You've got nothing to
be sorry for, hear me?

But you've lost all that money.

The church hall let me off
everything except the deposit.

Anyway, none of it matters.

None of it.

All I care about is you
and how you feel. That's all.

So don't you worry,
we'll muddle through.

We'll do it together.

Has Paul really been
waiting out there?

He has.

He cares about you, Lois.

Come and keep your sister
company while I sort the tea.

- I'm not going to do anything, Mum.
- I didn't say you were.

Don't you think
my hair's a bit big?

Deanna from the choir did it

and I didn't have the
heart to say I wasn't sure.

The bigger the better.
Deanna's done a magnificent job.

Maybe I should've
bought a new dress.

- I've had this one for ages.
- Nonsense. That one suits you.

And the color's divine. There's
nothing worse than wearing

something all stiff and new
that doesn't feel like you.

Stand up and do a twirl.

Beautiful.

You look... exactly like you.

Just with bigger hair.

Mum says you've been
standing out here, just waiting.

I wanted to see you.

Good.

Because I've got
something I have to say.

I just fixed it up. You're
the first person to ride in it.

I've known for years
that things weren't right.

But you never said anything.

To you?

I never said anything to anyone.

And there's things we never
discussed with each other,

like what would have
happened on our wedding night.

No.

I supposed I just thought I'd
wait and see what happened.

Yeah.

You know, I wondered
and wondered, Lois,

what it would be like.

What we'd be like.

And it was brilliant...

..in my mind.

Even though I didn't
actually know anything.

I wondered too.

Until I found things out.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

For you, for us. But...

I wouldn't be if I
didn't still love you.

If I didn't look at you
and feel everything

that I felt before you
told me... and more.

More?

I love you, Lois.

I look at you and everything I
see is what I saw the day I met you.

It's exactly what
I've been looking at

all the time we've been
planning this wedding.

There are things that are never
going to happen for us, Paul.

You do understand that?

We're never going to
have children, for a start.

I'm not getting married
cos I want children.

I'm getting married
because I want you.

Still?

Always.

You know, I used to think that
we were made for each other,

so if you're not made like...

..like other people,

that just makes you
more precious to me.

Will we find a way?

We're already looking.

- How do I get in?
- Just climb in.

There's nothing to it.

Come on, let's go.

- Foot on the step.
- Thank you.

Perhaps, most of all,

we are what we accept.

What we allow to be important.

What we embrace about
each other and ourselves.

There's nothing better.

There is nothing more hopeful.

There is nothing else.

You're my Miss Jamaica

I'm crowning you myself

Cos you're my Miss Jamaica

Miss Jamaica, Miss Jamaica...

Argh!

Oooh!

Watch out, son!

So our next meeting will be
to start planning May's move

to her permanent family.

- I'm not going to talk about Cyril.
- Why not?

He's not the person
I thought he was.

Still alive, then?

I'd like to rule out anthrax.

Bloody hell.