Original subtitles

NORDLE: Dodgeball coming in hot!

We know, Nordle.

(GROANS)

One left. Gretel, Bailey, formation A-12.

(GROANS)

Whoa!

And Gretel's out!

What are you guys doing?

Uh, that was formation A-11.

Ugh!

Ow!

Game over, Leroy wins.

I finally succeeded in something.

I still feel empty.

Ugh, remind me again

why we're friends with Nordle. What do you mean?

He's always causing problems.

The science fair, the lemonade stand,

the Spanish class inquisition.

At his core, Nordle is a good kid,

and I think you guys would get along if you gave him a chance.

Even if I did, he'd just find a way to "Nordle" things up.

So who's ready to "Nordle things up"?

The answer is: you two!

What are these?

Those are invitations to a soiree

at my place this afternoon.

Whoa, embossed lettering? How nice.

Trying too hard.

We'll have the place to ourselves.

Father has a... Business meeting?

Oh, that's good. Very good.

Count us in.

Well, I have some silver to polish. See you soon.

So why is it good that Nordle's dad isn't there?

He's just a little intense.

(PROFESSOR EXCLAMATION LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)

(CHUCKLES AND SIGHS)

Okay. I think I got all the evil laughter out of my system.

Thank you all for coming to my home.

Nightmarionette, whose holograms reveal our darkest fears.

The Earworm, master of mind-controlling jingles,

and La Cebolla, who can talk to onions,

and with me, Professor Exclamation, as your leader,

we will destroy Hamster and Gretel,

once and for all.

For we are...

Why does it say? Council of Dum?

No, "Dum".

See, there's an umlaut.

Council of Dum.

It's modern and hip, like Swedish furniture.

Well, I like it.

And I wrote us a catchy jingle.

? We're every bit as evil and as bad as you presume

? We're the council of Dum ?

Maybe I left my... (GASPS).

Dad, what are you doing here?

Your calendar said you were out.

Well, we were supposed to go to the Earworm's lair.

My place is overrun with earwigs. Don't ask.

So we're here for the afternoon.

But my friends are coming.

I can't let them see what you're doing.

What are you doing?

Plotting world domination.

Blah-blah-blah! Don't tell me, Dad!

Just keep your evil in the den, please.

I just wanted this chafing dish.

Where were we?

Oh, yes, my five-step plan

to take down Hamster and Gretel.

Wait, before the council proceeds,

I must raise an urgent matter.

Can we order some food? I'm starving.

(SIGHS) Very well.

Bring forth the takeout menus!

Okay, maybe they'll finish

before Bailey and Gretel... (GASPS)

Bailey and Gretel, sir.

Tobor let us in.

Thanks, Tobor. You're welcome.

Dial back that sass, Tobor.

(SIGHS) Please make yourselves at home.

Make myself at home?

I'm gonna turn on the AC

and open all the doors. Not that door!

Under absolutely no circumstances

should you make yourself at home in that room!

Okay. Why?

It's, um, being painted by very shy painters.

Tobor, escort our guests to the dining room

while I prepare refreshments.

Is it just me, or is he more high-strung than usual?

Okay, so it's three votes for pizza and one vote for burgers.

Hmm, maybe we should do another recount.

There are only four of us. Three recounts is enough.

You all figure it out. I'm going to freshen up.

? To the bathroom ?

(COUGHS)

So, did anybody get anything at the school book fair today?

Oh, I did. Check it out.

It's the Hamster and Gretel poster. Uh-oh!

AUTOMATED VOICE: Anti-superhero defense system activated.

(ALARM BLARING)

Give me that! Hey!

What just happened?

Nothing. Uh, just my house's

anti-superhero defense system.

If it senses anything

that is or resembles a superhero,

it traps it in a box and flings it far away.

Why does your house have

an anti-superhero defense system?

Um, it came with our Internet bundle.

But don't worry.

I'm sure your poster will turn up.

Ah, a poster this time.

It will burn well on the fire.

Well, this has been an experience,

but I'm gonna wash up and get going.

Oh, okay, Powder room's down the hall.

Sorry. Nordle. Well, that's a shame.

She's gonna miss Tobor's song and dance number.

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

That wasn't the cue, Tobor.

Sorry. Hey, you're La Cebolla!

Ugh, Professor Exclamation

has too many kids running around here.

Maybe we should have the next supervillain meeting in a petting zoo.

Professor Exclamation? Supervillain meeting?

(GASPS) Oh, no! Gretel!

These fish eggs aren't so bad.

Gretel, Nordle's dad is Professor Exclamation, the supervillain.

Wait, you know, too? How?

I just ran into La Cebolla,

but it all makes sense, the forbidden room,

the anti-hero defense system, plus Nordle's last name...

Wait, you knew already?

Yeah, a while ago.

Nordle made me promise not to tell.

He can't help if his dad's a supervillain.

Well, they're plotting something in that room.

You need to fly in there and beat them up.

I can't. If I change, the anti-hero defense system will throw me who knows where.

Plus, I'm pretty sure that beating up your friend's dad

at a dinner party is a faux pas.

What if we just eavesdrop and see what they're planning?

Good idea.

So, the council agrees,

a medium cheese pizza and a large pepperoni pizza.

Now we can finally get to my plan,

destroying Hamster and Gretel. (BOTH GASP)

So it all started...

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

...lost my elbows in an industrial accident. Wait, Exclamation!

I already ordered the pizza.

No, we have intruders!

(BOTH SCREAM)

Spies.

Hold on. These are just my son's friends.

Sorry, girls, you're free to go

right after I erase your minds.

We didn't hear anything.

Yeah, especially that part about

destroying Hamster and Gretel... (GASPS) Oops!

Father, do your friends... Oh! What's going on here?

Just a friendly little memory wipe.

We can't let these two go blabbing about our plans.

You'll have to erase my memory, too, Father.

Nordle, step aside.

Gretel and Bailey are my friends,

and I won't let you do this to them.

Oh, he is a good guy.

If you do this, you'll destroy

all my memories of being your son.

Even that time, we had custard

on the boardwalk before you lost your elbows.

I... I can't do it.

NIGHTMARIONETTE: I knew it.

You're too weak to lead this council.

Yes, we need someone really evil, not just sort of evil.

And I'll say, you're kind of a jerk.

Very well.

Tobor, execute order 119.

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

No, that's 118.

I said 119. Engage battle mode.

(GASPS)

Little do you know that the Council of Dum song

I played earlier was an Earworm

designed specifically to control your mind?

You will now do my bidding.

Yeah, I wasn't really listening earlier.

Ha, how do you plan on hitting me with no elbows?

Like this!

(GRUNTING)

Come on! This way.

Onions! Do not let them escape!

I can't see. It's so spicy.

TOBOR: Run. Save yourself.

(LAUGHS MALICIOUSLY)

I got you now.

(GRUNTS)

Bailey, Gretel, formation A-12.

See, that's why we do the fake left.

Good call, Nordle.

This just goes to show

that the whole supervillain thing

is a bad idea.

Ah, I planned this.

These dimwits would have complicated my scheme

to destroy Hamster and Gretel.

I brought them here to neutralize them.

And now it's your friends' turn.

(BOTH GASP)

But but you said you couldn't? I lied.

You have to change.

I can't. The anti-superhero defense system...

Wait. Excuse me, Professor, but just to be clear,

you took down the city's most dangerous supervillains?

That's right.

That kind of makes you a hero.

A superhero, in fact.

Hmm. I suppose it does

make me a "superhero."

AUTOMATED VOICE: Anti-superhero defense system activated.

Wait, not literally!

Father!

Not literally! Just figuratively. Just figuratively!

Oh, Nordle, I'm sorry.

I just didn't know what else to do.

He'll be fine.

Something like this happens at least once a week.

Maybe being trapped in a box

and flung across the world will make him reconsider

some of his choices!

You're gonna be okay?

I think so.

Guess it's dinner for one tonight after I rebuild the chef.

TOBOR: Why does this keep happening?

It's not all about you, Tobor.

Well, why don't you come over to my place for dinner?

It's taco night.

Sure, I'd like that.

Is that pizza still coming?

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

? Hamster and Gretel

? It's Hamster

? Hamster and Gretel ?

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