Original subtitles

This is Fengdong?

What a dung hole.

Sorry, Giz, but after all of us almost dying to get here, I expected more.

Grandpa did call Fengdong "the Ghost City."

And it's only a quick stop on the way

to finding the key to The Valley of Jade,

which is hopefully labeled somewhere amongst all these ruins.

Aw, your dog caught a scent.

Again, he's a mogwai, not a dog.

And Gizmo, you've been here before?

No clue what you just said, but you said it with confidence.

So, lead on, Gizmo.

The fabled Ghost City of Fengdong.

Off to it, my new hench-creatures.

According to that old man I swallowed,

the key to the Valley of Jade is somewhere in this city's ruins.

We just need to find it.

Okay. But you don't see the confusion?

You're named radish. And he is a radish.

Right, because we're a family.

Well, we're here now, Gizmo. What next?

Sweet.

Hello, I love you.

That is what your kid siblings turned into?

Because they ate after midnight?

Whoever made your rules is so mean.

Why are they here?

How are they here? Why are they so scaly?

Did they take the train all the way from Shanghai?

I have so many questions.

And if they're here, Greene might be here, too.

This is so many kinds of bad.

So, do we run at them or away from them?

I only know how to hide.

-Oh, we're running away. -For now.

If the mogwai rules so apply, they'll have to leave at sun-up.

Right, Gizmo?

Gizmo!

We should follow Gizmo. He does seem to know where he's going.

We have done so many stupid things to get this far.

What's one more?

Your kind has been here before.

Any idea where I might find this key?

Sam has Dad's notebook, so maybe he's here too.

If only I could turn my head to look and see.

I just want to move my leg.

No, no, no, no.

I hate magic.

Whoa!

Gizmo.

Um, Gizmo. Nice song, lovely melody. But is this the time?

Whoa!

Whoa!

Fortunes! Get your fortunes here. Fortunes!

Oh! Bad omen.

You will die today.

Okay.

No, Jade or valleys?

No, we're still looking for the key to The Valley of Jade,

which I'm guessing is hidden here.

I got keys.

Key to happiness, key to wealth,

key to invulnerability.

Key to never feeling gross when you eat too much.

Yeah, this place isn't any less creepy than the last place.

You're telling me, doll.

Theodore?

Please. The name's Theodora.

You're talking outside my head.

Um.

Wow! Who's that?

Oh, pardon me.

I speak both tongues.

And the individual you seek is as always at the tavern.

May I escort you there?

It's been a long time since the spirit market has seen your kind.

You are a mogwai. Yes.

Beat it, fur coat.

I can spot a con anywhere.

Oh, no, I assure you, my lip-licking is due to an unrelated disorder.

It is a mogwai!

Mogwai!

What the large, gentle creature said to you--

Wants to eat our mogwai. Yes. Got that from context clues. Thanks.

Don't just stand there!

Skidoo.

Mogwai!

Yikes! This place is a lot more intense than my hole in the ground.

Get used to it, sonny.

Why, hello there, stranger.

What are you doing? Haven't you ever been chased in the streets before?

Only once! By you!

Lesson one. Make a mess.

Put me down!

Everything here talks?

Why wouldn't we?

Am I old enough to be in here?

Hey, pal, it's not polite to stare.

How do you think I lost my head?

Mogwai!

No one messes with my mogwai.

Thank you, Gizmo's snake lady warrior friend.

I am Nuwa,

Goddess of Creation.

You don't smell like a goddess.

You are certain this is how my mogwai opened the gate?

Again, sing and with gusto this time.

Wait! One of you screamed on key.

There you are!

You have a gift.

Use it. Or else.

Yes, yes!

Ah, ah, ah! Humans first.

Bartender. A bottle of baijiu.

My favorite fuzzy fella is visiting.

How'd you even get here?

Wait. Is The Valley of Jade okay?

You've got a human infestation?

These humans are with you?

As pets.

-Pets? -Actually, we're Gizmo's friends.

Gizmo? Who's Gizmo?

-Your name is... -Gizmo!

Gizmo is close enough.

You always were soft on their kind.

You can understand Gizmo's words?

To hear the mogwai, one has only to listen.

Also, I created all words.

Again, Goddess of Creation.

Cool. Then I'll skip to the end.

We need to get to The Valley of Jade.

Already with the favors!

Buy a god a drink first.

Speaking of... Hmm.

Come on. We came all this way so that you could go home.

Sam can help his family, and I can rescue all that treasure I deserve.

She is right.

Why waste time when we can resolve this quickly?

No!

I'm not sending humans to The Valley of Jade.

You guys ruin everything.

I'm still not over what you did to lobsters.

Lobsters?

How could you possibly think it's supposed to be food?

The whole animal has, like, two bites of meat,

which I hid inside a rock.

Then what did you create lobsters for?

Um, I forget.

Now you, my dear mogwai,

of course I'll send you back to the valley.

But never humans.

No, you should go, Gizmo.

Bartender.

Can't leave without a hug, Giz.

See? Ruins everything.

That's what your wink meant?

Normally I detest this world, but just this once...

wow!

Oh, it was my bad omen.

I hate spoiled mogwai.

Your excitement is understandable.

But remember, while in my employ, you represent me.

So, decorum.

Ooh! That is not what I... Actually, drink up.

Only one way to learn which potions are poison.

The rest of you, find my mogwai!

Mogwai? That's Sam's "not a dog."

So, this is your family business.

Three generations.

Um, new new friends?

We have to go warn my old new friends.

Oh! You'll make a fine pendant.

Actually, what the creature is saying,

underneath its thick third-coat-of-Hell regional accent,

is that he's only tiny

because the goddess, Nuwa, caught him trying to eat a furry mogwai.

My mogwai and Goddess Nuwa.

And you gained the ability to speak the Queen's English.

Well, technically, I drank a potion that granted me the gift

of understanding and speaking all languages,

but from your limited lingual perspective, sure.

I am a fan of Nuwa's work, but if she has my mogwai...

Mr. Claw!

"Miss."

Oh! I simply assumed you're all... Um, never mind.

Miss Claw, I have a new task for you and your kin.

Oh, when you run at hopping vampires,

poor Gizmo races into a Ghost City,

oh, all of a sudden you're heroes.

-But when I rush into something-- -Your wink was very confusing.

Go through the portal.

Are you kidding?

Because I invented humor. And I am not finding this funny.

The only safe place for you anywhere

is The Valley of Jade.

So, now that I've leashed up your pets...

go!

Really?

You would give up the valley for these two?

You heard them yourself. She's in it for treasure.

And he only cares about his family.

Ah! Trust me, as their creator, there is not more to them.

Humans are incredibly shallow and selfish.

Maybe we are. You know whose fault that is?

It's yours.

You don't think I blame myself for humans?

For what they did to him?

To Gizmo?

What did people do to you?

Don't act like you don't know.

You really don't know?

Bartender, a fresh bottle.

Centuries ago, after we made your world...

you're welcome, by the way.

My brother, Fuxi and I were arguing

about one species...

Humans.

Fuxi saw you as ants.

Amusing from afar.

But when they get too close, a nuisance to be squashed.

But I saw humanity as mostly good.

To see who was correct,

Fuxi and I came up with a test.

The Mogwai.

If humanity could preserve the Mogwai,

it would prove that they're ultimately good.

I created him,

while Fuxi crafted his rules to make our test fair.

Never get him wet...

...never expose him to bright light,

and never feed him during the hours

when the moon is at its highest point in the sky.

Of course humanity shortened that last rule.

But more on human stupidity in a moment.

The stakes were high.

The losing God would quit creating life.

The city of Fengdong was chosen to represent humanity.

We tasked them with the caring for this gift from the gods

by obeying its three rules.

I was certain I would win.

How could anyone ever hurt my mogwai?

I was wrong.

The humans loved this mogwai so much

that they all wanted one, so they broke one rule.

And the other two rules soon followed,

not knowing Fuxi

had cursed the mogwai's spawn to spend the first century of their lives

as destructive tricksters.

Soon, chaos blossomed and people died.

So I stopped the test

before the rest of China was destroyed.

I reverted the corrupted mogwai to their original states

and brought them to a new safe home...

The Valley of Jade.

It was my last creation since, well,

since I bet on humanity and lost.

I hung up my clay knife...

and said goodbye.

Since I didn't want to hear

"I told you so" for eternity,

I've been avoiding my brother in this tavern ever since.

Except one day a year where I travel to Shanghai for dumplings.

So now that you know, tell me,

would you send dumb, destructive humans to The Valley of Jade?

My dear, sweet, adorable, "too kind-hearted for this or any world" mogwai,

stop it!

There is not one word you can say that will make me--

Wait. Is that...

Did you dummies break the rules?

Not all of them.

Of course. And, as always, I'm the one who cleans up your mess.

Uh, you're going to clean it up with rhythm?

Why isn't this working?

Drink?

Poison!

But who poisons a goddess?

Greetings, Goddess Nuwa!

And other mortals of little importance.

Oh, no. Anyone but him right now.

My associates have you surrounded.

Hand over the mogwai and I shall grant you safe passage,

as well as an antidote to the poison in your veins.

Refuse and, If I may be blunt,

you will die!

Very intimidating delivery, sir.

Hand over the mogwai and all will be forgiven, Elle.

Oh! Hear that? The bad human knows Elle. What a shock.

Hey, that's not fair.

Not fair?

If she hadn't bum-rushed the portal, I wouldn't be full of poison,

my favorite bar wouldn't be surrounded by monsters,

and my favorite mogwai, you, would be safe at home.

If anything, my sarcasm was an act of kindness.

If my mogwai dies,

it's because of your selfishness.

Hey!

Psst.

-Radish? -We thought we should warn you.

Greene and the bad mogwai are here.

Uh, yeah. Thanks for the warning, Radish.

What or who are the rest of you?

-We're farmers. -And fabulous.

Not to jinx it,

but I think they're gonna be our new family.

Yeah, yeah. Glad at least one of us might get a happy ending.

Wait. How did you guys get inside?

We could tell you, but you might want to distract those evil mogwai.

I have an idea.

Distraction!

Bright light.

I... I did it.

Oops.

Classic humans.

Not yet.

I want to make sure we wait until the poison truly takes hold.

I prefer fights I know I can win,

especially against a Goddess.

Oh, this ring really complements my skin,

which does not go with everything.

You say she protects against all magic?

Bright Light! Bright Light!

Really? Fire counts as bright light, too?

Here I assumed arson would be up your alley.

Are you cowering?

If I were paying you, I'd be furious

that I'm doing my own bidding right now.

Where is my mogwai, and the Goddess, and those wretched children?

Where are they?

Ah, Sam Wing. Answer me, boy.

Hi, I'm Radish.

Another child?

You are not mogwai.

I know. But we're confused for them

all the time.

Maybe it's our accents.

Whoever told you the mogwai was here was wrong.

It's just us.

-Maybe you should give up-- -Stop!

Not another time-sucking word from you, human scamp!

Out! Out! Out!

Go find my mogwai.

You mean to tell me that you've been drinking

in that bar for 1,000 years and never knew it had a wine cellar?

Hey, I just drank the wine.

I don't ask where it comes from.

Is Radish gonna be okay?

What? He volunteered.

Besides, he's a survivor who found a family.

You should be asking that about us.

Sisters rejoice.

There's a furry mogwai in the market.

And Nuwa's too weak to protect it.

Who fancies a bite of immortality?

Can't you move any faster?

One more complaint and I swear I'll drop you on your magical face.

Oh! How very human of you.

Something's not comfortable and you give up.

Good plan.

Do you two even have a plan?

Oh, we did.

But it turned out to be a mean old drunk who can't let go of the past.

Both of you need to stop.

The plan is to get somewhere safe,

-away from Greene. -Bad plan.

Okay. Is everything you say negative?

Not when I'm talking to an intelligent creature.

Remember, everything here wants to eat Gizmo.

Nowhere is safe.

Gizmo's in more danger than your tiny human brains can imagine.

Fine, old witch.

You don't like our plan. What's yours?

Well, I'm not going to respond to being called a witch.

So, get me to the Bagua room

on the other side of the market, across the bridge.

It's a cosmic crossroads.

So even though I don't have magic,

there's someone there that can send Gizmo,

and only Gizmo, home.

Oh, no. Fox Spirits.

Oh, we met one of those cuties in the market.

I just want to squeeze her.

They're not cute. We have to move.

But she's waving. I can't be rude.

Hello. How are you, Mrs. Fox Spirit?

It's "Miss," and thank you for inquiring.

I'm quite well and quite hungry.

-Okay. I don't think they're cute anymore. -Go, go, go!

Nuwa!

That is for groceries,

not Goddesses.

Get it off! Get it off!

Right. You got weapons and stuff in your box.

Well, it's mostly rope.

But I think there's some explosives.

What? You've had that this entire time?

Explosives are wasted on you, Sam Wing.

Wait. We need to go further away.

Sam, give me the box. I have a plan.

After the mogwai!

-Let's hope... -...this works.

Not a Fox Spirit in sight. Elle's plan worked.

Now it's only everyone else that wants you?

How come they all know where you are?

Right. They can smell you.

You're like, super smelly to them.

We'll never lose them.

Which means I'm going to have to fight them.

Please tell me there's another way.

Gizmo? Gizmo. Gizmo!

Ugh. I can't smell anything but fish.

-This should work. -Bagua room!

I think it's working.

That was a real two for one.

Saving Gizmo and proving you wrong.

About what? That you have a plan?

We're still being chased.

What? No! That I'm selfish.

Look at me risking my life for Gizmo.

All I see is a reckless grifter,

trying to con me into sending her

to The Valley of Jade for treasure.

Hey, I can want treasure,

and want to get Gizmo home, too.

Humans always have excuses and justifications and sob stories.

But when the moment comes and it's you or them,

you always choose you, don't you, Elle?

Elle.

Hand me the mogwai,

and perhaps some of this can be forgiven.

Of course, the other monsters hate you.

See, this is why you never meet old reckless grifters.

What are you doing?

Introducing my favorite monsters to each other.

Intentionally or not,

thank you for my mogwai, Elle.

Do not let them pass.

Charge!

Still think this was a good idea?

Nah. I know it was.

Sisters, we've been bamboozled.

Huh?

Ooh, eyes.

Is that it?

I can't tell the difference between what looks magical or normal anymore.

Yep, that's it.

Great. Then you're almost home.

Sam?

Mmm.

Elle! Nuwa!

Elle! Nuwa! You made it.

Of course. What did you expe--

What reeks?

Me!

He's covered in dead fish. It's brilliant.

Ugh. It's literally the worst thing I've ever smelled.

I know.

Hey, thanks for handling the Fox Spirits. That was really brave.

-Well, obviously. -Opportunism can look that way to the naive.

-Oh! -I cannot wait till the poison hits your mouth.

Sam, help me get her to the Bagua room.

It'll be just a second while I make sure we can get in.

You're not even sure you can get in?

Are there any perks of being a Goddess?

My guy sometimes takes a long lunch. Come on, Gizmo.

Whoa!

Help! Help!

-Gizmo! -No!

Hang on, Gizmo!

What do we do?

Elle, You might want to stay back.

Um, excuse me?

Sam!

You did it!

You stupid, stupid, stupid humans.

You pushed a River Spirit into the river,

the literal source of its power.

Oh, no, no, no!

No!

No!

Elle!

Her pulse is weak.

Elle!

Uh, hold her hand, Gizmo. Talk to her.

Elle, please, hold on.

She's not breathing! I need to get to a medicine shop.

There's nothing you or any human can do for her.

Nuwa?

What have you been drinking?

Why is there a dead River Spirit on my doorstep?

-And a dead human girl? -Almost dead.

And I don't have magic right now, so you're it. We're bringing her inside.

Inside? To do what?

Nuwa, I'm your celestial administrator, not a party trick.

Don't get blood on the floors.

What are you doing?

That's basically flower balm.

She is dying.

Thank you for yelling information I already have.

That cream's not going to work.

Let me do something. She needs--

You, to let me work.

And for the record, of course, I know this is just flower balm.

I'm not done mixing, kid.

There's one more ingredient that changes everything.

What did you just put in there?

It's unpronounceable if you have a human mouth.

Elle! You're alive.

Is Gizmo okay?

Not much surprises me, Elle. But you did.

Administrator, prepare a portal to The Valley of Jade.

You're all going through the portal.

Huh?

Even me?

The mogwai is approved, but you'll need portal visas.

Lose them, I show up and detain you.

Any vandalism to The Valley of Jade, I detain you.

Take anything without declaring it upon re-entry, I--

Long bureaucracy short: try not to mess everything up, okay?

Now go.

I'll hold them off long enough for you to escape.

What! No, come with us.

How can you slow them down?

No offense, but you have no powers.

He's going to enchant my Guandao.

It won't last for long, but it might be enough.

Don't let me down.

Nuwa!

Tallyho!

Nuwa, no! Nuwa!

Come on, hurry up. They're right outside the door.

Whoa!

Nuwa, no!

Elle, are you okay?

If that's what you call it.

Where are we?

Valley of Jade!

We go.

What?

That jeweler knew his product.

This little ring is impervious to magic.

Then use it. What are you waiting for?

Excellent question.

Where is my mogwai?

You'll never be able to find him or The Valley of Jade.

Only a God can.

And you are not a God.

Well, actually, you don't know about my unique skill,

learned from years of treasure hunting and to be absolutely blunt,

pure talent.

No, no, no, no!

The man knows how to steal the show.

The knowledge of a God.

Ugh. Pearl Magic?

Including the location of The Valley of Jade.

I'm glad I ate light today.

Whoa. Guys.

Did I actually, like, really die back in Fengdong?

'Cause this looks way too good to be true.

If this was my home, I'd do anything to get back here, too.

I wish my grandpa were here to see this.

Nuwa, too.

Nuwa's going to be okay.

Probably.

No, no, no, no, no, no. No, sir.

Not getting stuck in that worried Sam head.

Not when there's so much good stuff happening.

I mean, for one, I'm alive after being dead.

Dead-ish.

Uh, still amazing.

And we're in The Valley of Jade.

Tons of people have spent their lives trying to get here.

And look who made it. A super sheltered goody-goody,

a highly-skilled, brilliant pickpocket and a pint-sized circus escapee.

Huh?

Hey! Hey, it's me!

Stop!

Gizmo? Gizmo!

Wow, it's so great to see you! Come on! Come on!

Hey, everyone! Gizmo is back!

Hey, everyone!

-Gizmo! -Yay!

Friends! Brought me home!

Oh...

Calm down, calm down. It's okay!

It's okay, it's okay!

We made it.

We really made it.

You must be the celestial administrator.

Allow me to introduce myself.

Oh, I know who you are.

I assist and open portals for Nuwa, and you are no Nuwa.

In fact, according to your life file,

you're an only child, an excellent speller

and a petty magic hoarder with only one good trick of your own:

stealing magic know-how from others smarter and more talented.

Yet, no matter how much power you collect,

you'll never fill your aching void inside because you were...

Checks notes...

...never hugged as a child.

Not even by your own mother.

There.

Hug yourself.

I'll never open a portal for you.

Why would I ever need your help...

...when I'm already a God?

Get him! Get him!

Greene!

Odd-Odd!

Jiangshi!

Huh. Grandpa was right.

He really is an entertainer.

Hey, Giz, after you're done with pretend us,

can real us get our treasure?

Huh?

Come on, Gizmo. I don't want your rock.

I want treasure, you know, to trade for goods and services

like non-stolen food in a non-shack room.

Oh!

What is this?

Jewelry?

No, that's Nuwa's!

And a knife?

Ha! It has everything.

That's Nuwa's knife? From the story?

The clay knife she used to create you?

Oh, so how does it work?

Did she use it to shape a special clay?

Or more like a wand?

What to create?

What to create?

Ooh, I know!

You were thinking of gold, weren't you?

I think about it a lot.

Mm-hm.

So let's put the knife back.

Nuwa used that to make and unmake creatures.

-And non-Gods shouldn't play God. -Yeah!

Gizmo, I'm really sorry about the butterfly,

but I was promised treasure.

-Maybe the real treasure is-- -If you say friendship,

so help me. I will--

The rocks are jade?

Sam! Sam! The rocks are jade.

Beautiful, bright, valuable jade.

Oh, it's everywhere!

We're rich! Do you realize what this means?

We can take an airship to anywhere in the world.

I can get new clothes. Oh, oh, thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

But first... Shanghai.

Straight back.

We helped Gizmo.

Now you help me help my parents.

You promised.

Right!

I didn't forget. I said I'd help you bust them out.

And now, I know exactly how we're going to do it.

You didn't know before?

I don't need to know anything ever again, because money beats everything.

Even magic.

We'll buy off Greene's goons, set your parents free.

Aw. I'm going to miss you, too, little guy.

We both are.

But I have to return to my family now.

We have to say goodbye.

No. No bye!

Yes bye...

But maybe we can visit sometime?

Yeah, probably not.

Come here.

Gizmo with Sam.

Gizmo with Elle.

Never bye.

Boo!

Sam. Elle.

Assorted mogwai.

I believe you bow before a God.

What did you do to Nuwa?

Yeah! What did you do?

What I always do when someone has knowledge I want:

I swallowed her and took it.

My plan was to gather all these furry ones,

sell their immortality and procure riches beyond your tiny, poor children dreams.

But as I've been processing Nuwa's alcohol-drenched memories,

I realized this valley may hold more than mogwai.

So it is here.

No way!

-Hello, Gizmo! -No!

Mr. Greene, you better get out of here.

This is the knife of creation.

Nuwa made the mogwai with it.

And now, I'm going to use it to protect them.

Sam Wing, your naivety is infinite,

but its charm is not. Lower the knife.

You have no idea how dangerous it can be in the wrong hands.

You can keep them safe.

I am the right hands.

I know your grandfather told you that, but he was wrong.

No, the knife belongs with someone

who has the mental fortitude to use it correctly.

It's a deceptively simple tool.

One needs only to think of something with perfect focus.

And then, poof! Creation.

But perfect focus means no stray thoughts.

No fear, no self-doubt.

Are you sure of yourself, Sam?

I've searched through all your grandfather's memories,

and he does not remember you as a very confident boy,

and I'm sure they don't either.

-Sam! -Sam!

Dad? Mom? What are they--

Creation magic gone wrong can go very wrong.

For example, let's say you want to make wings for your mother so she doesn't fall and die.

But you're also hungry. When is the last time you ate?

Wouldn't a hot steamer of bao taste good?

And now you're thinking about wings, and your mother and bao.

Delicious bao. And you use the knife.

Poof! Your mom's wings flap around,

and so does her giant bao head.

He's lying, Sam! Don't listen.

You can do it!

Use it now!

I can't... I...

Yes...

Behold, the knife of creation!

It once belonged to a God, and now it belongs to me.

Also a God!

Only one thing remains

for my ascension to be complete.

A taste of eternal life.

Mine!

No!

No! Stop, stop, stop! Stop it! Stop!

Yes. Yes!

I... I feel it!

I am immortal!

No!

No!

Brothers and sisters.

Lord Greene has entrusted us

to round up our furry brethren for his grand plans.

So, please, don't hurt them too noticeably.

Appearances matter.

Hm.

What can this knife do for me?

I already ate a mogwai, but I am still peckish.

Not bad, but I want a meal elegant enough for me.

No, no. Undo, undo.

That's enough practice for today,

my divine blade.

Now, let's make sure you know your master.

Hm...

What happened?

Where's my mom and dad?

Where's Gizmo?

Look for yourself.

-Wha... what do we do? -We?

You had the knife.

He was right there.

If you could have at least tried,

we could be dealing with a gold statue right now instead of this.

I didn't know what to do.

You shoot the knife!

It's not that simple.

What if I used the knife and everything went wrong?

You would have felt the same.

I would have used the knife without a second thought,

and you know it.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Hey, ugly mogwai.

Can someone please come knock me out?

Anything, so I don't have to hear these lame apologies?

Shush!

Another big talker?

Come on! You know what?

Why not just skip to the end and just kill me?

Oh, Elle. I am a God now.

I'm not going to kill you when you don't matter at all.

It would seem petty.

No, I came up here for Sam Wing.

I have a present for him.

I don't want anything from you.

Hm. Yes, you do.

I believe in giving credit where credit is due.

And you led me here.

I could not have achieved my one true destiny without you

and your parental leverage.

So, thank you.

Oh, Sam!

Now, goodbye. Forever.

Mom. Dad. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything.

I never should have left Shanghai.

I never should have gone to the circus.

I never...

Greene was right. I led them all here.

And when it mattered, I froze.

Sweetheart, don't punish yourself.

We're together now.

Yeah, right.

Gonna die together.

Just because you're no longer with Greene, doesn't mean we suddenly like you.

Mom, stop!

Elle saved my life.

We've got to go down there and help save Gizmo.

Hey. Hey, you guys!

That guy's cheating.

And your plan is?

To not do nothing.

Stay low, behind me.

Deal, done.

You know, it's funny how Godhood alters one's perspective.

Like my original plans for these mogwai seem adorably small,

now that I have the knife of creation.

So consider our deal... changed.

Deal!

As Miss Claw's liaison, sir,

she would like the ship now.

-Quite understandable-- -Yes, yes, I remember the deal.

But circumstances have changed. The ship is irrelevant.

I am going to open a portal straight to Shanghai

and your kind running free and wreaking havoc in my brave new world,

that's not going to work.

This is where you shall stay. In your ancestral home.

Where mogwai belong.

By your blank stare,

I assume you understand.

Mm-hm.

Very good.

Now, if you will excuse me.

I don't want to be late for my portal to Shanghai.

Ah, new plan.

Finally, Shanghai.

Then, the world.

♪ For he's A jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's A jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's A jolly good fellow ♪

Oh, my God. This is insane.

It is. But also... kind of moving.

This isn't like them.

Something is wrong.

♪ Fellow ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny! ♪

Mm-hm.

Aw...

Isn't a hug what you always wanted?

Allow yourself to accept love, sir.

You idiots!

You can't defeat me with pure force.

I'm the apex of power and intellect.

I thought of everything and more

than you puny numbskulls can ever imagine!

I even enchanted my knife,

so that if anyone tried to steal it,

it would magnetize to my hand!

No one can take it from me.

Now what?

Why are you smiling?

Oh, my!

That was my magic hand.

My...

My right hand may have held more power,

but my left can still summon enough to--

No hand!

Gizmo!

Now, Gizmo. I imagine you're a bit stressed right now.

After all, the clay knife of creation demands perfect concentration.

And like any true mogwai, our glorious

monstress-in-chief, Lady Claw,

is remarkably single minded.

Always focused on one thing...

-Fun! -Fun.

Fun, fun, fun, fun!

I know it feels like she's only doing this to spite you,

but she's also doing this to break you.

Elle! What are you doing?

Our family is quite dysfunctional,

eh, my brother/father?

Shanghai!

Go!

No!

No!

You broke the sky.

Huh?

Hmm.

Rich culture.

Fine dining.

A vibrant nightlife.

Shanghai really does have it all.

Mm, even fashion.

Huh?

Ah! This suits me much better.

You're kidding.

Hmm.

Huh?

Caca.

Now, Gizmo watch.

Why?

Why is it so hard to tie-up someone with no wrists?

Yes, you're all the one who suffers.

Please, I may be an immortal God,

but I require two hands to cast magic.

And as you can see... Tada!

No hands, no knife of creation.

Nothing but an eternity to plot revenge

against those cackling monsters of nature who betrayed me.

Maybe.

But I'm not taking any chances.

You killed my father.

Well, actually, I reduced your father's essence into pearl.

Ow!

Hey, son, I know you must miss that little guy.

It's not just that.

Oh, right. I know.

I miss home, too.

Hey, we'll get back to Shanghai... somehow.

What are you doing?

Looks like vandalism to me.

Oh, good. That's what I'm going for.

I'd ask you to help, but I know your family isn't really good at that.

Uh-huh. That's what I thought.

This is what I get for bringing you back to life?

Where are the mogwai? And the clay knife?

Broken rules everywhere. This is a disaster!

Except for that.

That I like.

Stop! I was very clear.

Any vandalism to the Valley of Jade,

I detain you.

Oh, no. I remember. Why do you think I'm doing this?

We need to get back to Shanghai.

And my mom always told me that

getting arrested, is the fastest way to score a ride home.

I am not the celestial taxi.

She's part of a different cosmic agency.

If you really want to be arrested, fine.

You shall all be detained

in the worst place in the whole cosmic universe,

which right now is...

the city of Shanghai.

Huh.

Usually, it's one of the ten courts of Hell,

but it looks like you and those evil mogwai even messed that up.

Go enjoy Hell on earth.

Thank you.

This is a punishment!

And I popped a stitch.

Day like this, I could eat every red bean cake in creation.

Yes!

Vandalism for the win.

Uh... he did send us to a court of Hell.

I can't believe we're home.

And we're never leaving it again.

I, for one, am impressed.

I underestimated these...

The name "mogwai" is too cute.

I shall borrow a term from the Royal Air Force.

These are gre--

Things are bad enough without that guy talking, too.

I've never loved you more.

Muah!

Okay. Step one, lock him in the trunk.

Step two, board up the windows.

-Let's go. -Good idea.

We should board up the back door, too.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We're not staying.

We need to rescue Gizmo and get the heck out of this city.

No, I can't.

What do you mean you can't? You have to.

This is your fault.

If we don't save Gizmo, who will?

The last time I tried to save him, I let him down.

Grandpa was wrong about me.

I didn't save anyone.

I doomed us all.

Gizmo is in danger because of me.

The clay knife is loose, because of me.

Shanghai is burning, because of me.

So what? Do better next time.

I don't want a next time.

I'll only make things worse.

You think things can get worse?

Things can always get worse.

Yeah, I know.

I was dead earlier, and now I'm having this conversation.

So what we need to focus on is our family.

Staying safe inside the shop until the danger passes.

Elle, you can do whatever you want.

Fine. Stay.

I'll save Gizmo.

Good luck reopening your business in Mogwaiville.

Buy fruit?

Shut up!

Huh?

Are you robbing me... in my city?

Somebody--

Out of my way, tourists.

Gizmo!

Sing that song we used to if you can hear me, Giz.

Never mind, I can't hear anything.

But I can see something.

Oh, yes, I'll take one of you for each day,

and two for Sunday.

Whoo! Bright light!

You mouthy mogwai, talk to me.

Where is Gizmo, or I will--

Yes. I'll talk.

Please let me talk.

I enjoy a good rampage, too.

But I'm not like my brethren.

Smashing this, saying "caca" that.

Caca, caca.

I enjoy the finer things in life.

Diplomacy, compassion, standards,

and this suit.

Gizmo?

Right, my furry father-brother is taking in a show

at Madame Claw's.

One of you owns a nightclub and is named Madame Claw?

Why certainly. My species may be

remorseless agents of chaos, but we still have names.

Caca, caca.

Oh! No caca, no caca.

There, with these boards, you can barely tell how bad it is outside.

We need more boards.

Who am I kidding? I always knew I'd go out like this.

Sam, get more nails.

Sam, look at me.

This is not on you.

You did what you had to do to stay alive.

Now go get some more nails.

Gizmo.

Sam? Still waiting on those...

-Sam? -Goodbye. Don't worry. Love you.

Sam, no!

My seat! Mine!

Password?

Okay. Gonna take a guess here.

Caca.

Yeah.

-Uh-oh. -Yeah!

Gizmo scared?

Gizmo no go. Dance, dance!

Sam, come back.

It's not safe out here for you.

Or anyone.

Sorry, I can't.

Sam Tze Wing, stop this instant.

There's nothing you can do right now except get hurt.

Maybe I'm not an adventurer.

Maybe I will make everything worse.

But I won't know unless I try.

I have to do something.

No, you don't.

Doing something is dangerous.

Doing nothing gets a bad rap.

And don't follow that lying, stealing street thief.

We're Wings.

We run away from danger.

Grandpa didn't.

And look where he is now?

You're our Sam, not some hero. Okay?

If I don't do something, who will?

Surprise!

Let go of our son!

Look out.

Mom, Dad, I'm not the...

I'm not the same Sam anymore.

So, you're saving the day... how?

I have a five step plan.

That's my boy.

Step one, find Elle.

Step one A, find Gizmo.

Boo! Boo!

Boo! Boo!

Whoa!

Hey, I hope I'm not interrupting your family reunion?

Oh!

Where's Sam?

Hey, we don't need Sam.

I'm the one getting you out of this...

Caca.

...mess.

Whoa!

At least I'm not gonna die alone.

Gizmo mine!

Gizmo... mine!

-Bright light! Bright light! -Bright light!

Elle, come to the light.

-Sam! -You came back!

I'm never leaving you ever again.

How'd you find us?

We followed every bad mogwai in Shanghai.

They're all coming here.

What's next? Burn down the nightclub?

No, step four,

steal back the clay knife.

Then burn it down?

No, step five is to turn all these bad mogwai into good ones.

Just like Nuwa would do.

They're Gizmo's family.

Eh! Fine, no fire. I'm in.

For Nuwa.

For Nuwa.

Where Gizmo?

Right, back to the plan.

Mom, step four.

Ha!

Gizmo!

Wait, where are the kids?

Mom! Dad!

Elle!

Huh?

Mom! No!

Everyone caca.

Okay, now things can't get worse.

Where is my knife?

Huh? Ah. Hm.

Gizmo!

Gizmo?

No!

Gizmo!

Mom, you're okay!

Just a possible bone fracture, definite Qi stagnation

and significant blood loss.

It's not safe here.

We need to find...

anywhere else.

So... thanks for saving my life.

I only did it to shame you into becoming a better person.

You're welcome.

Now that mom's safe, back to my plan.

I think we were on step 4.

Steal back the clay knife.

Gizmo!

Where my Gizmo?

Oh!

Gizmo!

Wow. Claw has really big feelings for you, Gizmo.

I think we need a bigger plan.

Oh!

What?

Wait, did you just say bait?

Yeah! Gizmo, bait, Claw.

You want to be bait for claw?

Hey, I understand mogwai... kind of. It could work.

You get Claw while we get the clay knife...

Then we save Shanghai by doing what worked the last time this happened.

This has happened before?

Long time ago in Fengdong.

The bad mogwai took over, but the clay knife

was used to turn them back into furry mogwai--

Nuwa!

Love your newfound confidence, Sam, but Nuwa was a god.

-We're-- -The only ones who know how to do this.

If we don't end it here, the world becomes a ghost city.

Fine.

We save the world, but they need to get to safety.

What?

Um, we're the adults.

Elle's right. You're really badly hurt.

Take Mom home, please?

And if you run into trouble,

blow this and tell them you know me.

You're welcome.

Go get 'em, Sam.

Did you just say "go get 'em" to our son?

It took me by surprise, too.

Where is your leader?

Oh.

I say she's gotten imaginative.

But soon, that knife will be mine.

I'll regrow my hands, and...

Oh!

I will silence all your kind's incessant laughing.

You took my hands, I will take your existence!

Once Claw notices Gizmo,

she walks this way, we trip her.

Elle, you need to steal a car.

-Already did once today. -Then let's get that clay kn...

New... new plan?

I make a laxative?

What if instead we trick Claw into eating fireworks, then...

...kaboom!

How's that easier than a laxative?

Oh, it's not. It's just less gross.

Either way, Gizmo, do bad mogwai have, like...

Where's Gizmo? Gizmo!

Gizmo!

That's one way to get the knife.

Let's go.

Huh?

He did it! Gizmo did it!

-Will I ever be that brave? -No.

Stay put. We'll come to you, Giz.

Hm?

Gizmo?

Gizmo!

Gizmo!

Maybe we should go faster.

They can ride bikes?

I hope you nasty hell lizards catch a deadly case of sunburn!

-Are you blowing it right? -It's a whistle!

Nobody trespasses on our turf.

Elle sent us...

You know Elle, right? Bad hair, ratty umbrella, the worst attitude?

Any friend of Elle's is a friend of ours,

And you uglies ain't our friends.

Injured or not, I can't go quietly.

I know.

Gizmo, we're coming!

What? No. How?

No hands, and you still ruined everything.

Mere mortals cannot stop a god.

Sorry. Couldn't understand you

over the magical knife in your mouth.

Let me get that for you.

No!

The clay knife.

Such an upper... hand.

Not so fast, mogwai number one.

Gizmo!

Yeah, his name is Gizmo.

History decides who earns a name,

not boys who fail or traitorous street rats.

You come closer to the honor of a proper name

more than most mogwai.

But ultimately, only I,

the immortal clay knife-wielding god

will be remembered,

for I am Riley--

Greene!

Hmm. I kinda like her now.

I respect your boldness.

It's clear that you have genuine ambition, Madam Claw.

Uh... Thank you.

So, I shall reward your boldness by delivering your dream

of seeing the world

Nah-uh.

I insist.

The weather in Tahiti is lovely this time of the day.

Bright light! Bright light! No!

Mogwai!

Kill Greene, kill Greene!

Kill Greene!

Ugh!

That's what happens when you're exposed to sunlight?

Ew!

I am never eating fondue ever again.

You don't realize how much you miss clapping

until your hands are gone.

You're a monster.

Well, actually, I'm a god.

Stealing powers from a goddess doesn't make you a god.

It makes you a thief in someone else's armor.

No one's gonna love you for that, you pathetic wannabe.

Um, Elle, maybe don't provoke him.

He's right.

You don't want to provoke a god, which I am. A god.

Then be a god.

Ugh! Use the knife to save Shanghai.

I mean, end all of this chaos that you caused,

earn people's respect.

Instead, you just keep bragging,

"I'm a god, I'm a god, oh!"

You... really do keep saying it.

Simple children, I shall end this,

and earn people's respect

by doing what you, Sam Wing, could not.

Wielding the knife with my sharp, focused mind...

to transform every last living thing in this city

into cockroaches.

What?

After I literally crush Shanghai beneath my feet,

the rest of the world will worship me

as their new god,

Excuse me.

Your fellow future cockroaches are getting close,

and I tire of all your distractions.

Got it.

Your dream is to become the god of cockroaches.

By the way,

hugging us to death with ropes?

Why not just scream, "Hug me, Daddy"?

And careful of that knife.

If you don't have perfect focus, you might bug out.

I said, you shall fear me!

Even if you squish us...

You will still be the bug.

Under all that power, you're just a lonely,

unloved, magicless little cockroach...

What? Ha!

And definitely, don't think about turning yourself

into a cockroach.

-Shut it! -Said the cockroach.

The poor, magicless cockroach.

You're the cockroach! Just stop saying cockroach.

Don't think about turning into a cockroach.

Don't think about turning into a cockroach.

Don't think about turning into a cockroach!

Don't think about turning into a cockroach.

Cockroach.

Ha!

Ugh!

No! This cannot be happening to me!

I am a god!

Should I feel bad?

No.

Those pearls. What are they?

Sam? Vomit pearls later. We've got incoming.

You can do it, Sam!

I won't let you down again.

Huh?

Huh?

I've... had... enough... Mogwai.

Hon! It's over.

Oh? Uh...

Oh, no. Sam, you turned yourself into a...

We did it?

-You did it. -Sam!

Yeye! You're alive.

I am?

I am! No more of that ugly saliva. Oh!

Hey!

Nuwa!

Well, that's one way to sober up.

-Uh, okay. And you are? -Greene's personal chef,

until he decided he didn't like other people touching his food.

But he wanted my knowledge.

I taught him pearl magic.

♪ I taught him to sing! ♪

So...

So, Greene just ate all of you to steal your talents?

Ugh! He was worse than a bandit.

We met a shapeshifter

and a lady who erased our minds with tea,

and some Jiangshi and the goddess Nuwa,

and she's over there, and we wrecked the spirit market.

Sorry. And we got to The Valley of Jade.

But it all went wrong and we came back here.

where Shanghai almost burned down.

But then we did it!

Oh, wow. All of that?

My grandson.

I'm only sad I miss seeing you on this grand adventure.

Ba-ba! The scary girl.

No, Grandpa. That's Elle.

And, It's a long story,

but we wouldn't have gotten this far without her.

Yay!

Now comes the most difficult part.

Gathering all the mogwai.

Yippie! Yay!

Is that all of them?

If not, we do it all again tonight.

Hmm. Happy with yourselves?

Another city destroyed. Yay!

Hey, it's only lightly destroyed.

"Lightly destroyed" isn't a thing!

Will you be able to cure yourself in The Valley of Jade?

Sure.

And if not, the fruit there makes a mean moonshine.

Grandpa, do you want to go with them?

See the valley you searched for all this time?

One more adventure?

Adventure? Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

But no, I've had enough adventure.

Being pearled up inside an evil man's belly,

gives you a lot of time to think.

And all I could think about was how much I miss my family.

Goodbye, Sam.

Come on, Gizmo.

I'll miss you, Giz.

Did you ever actually like being called Giz?

I didn't mind.

I guess this is it.

We can actually go back to our normal lives now.

-Yeah. -Is it weird that I'm gonna miss our adventures, though?

You really don't want to leave?

Gizmo gonna stay.

Gizmo!

Hm.

Maybe it's time to give humanity another chance.

I hope you pass this time,

because I am not coming back to save you.

Extra, extra. Read all about it.

No one knows what happened in Shanghai.

Horrible creatures attacked,

and then turned into cat-dog things.

Only questions, no answers.

Read all about it.

Seahorses, ginseng, lotus seed.

-Don't forget Mr. Shao's-- -Allergic to licorice root.

Soon, we really will be working for the two of you.

And we can finally retire.

Well, now let's get back to business.

Now, who wants to help me make deliveries?

I know the fastest way to the north market,

And I know the way that's not considered trespassing.

Hmph.

My compatriots are gone.

Yet I remain all because I alone know

how to accessorize.

Thus, is my lot in life, the last of my kind.

And that, my friends,

is why I need a change of scenery...

and a meal.