Original subtitles

you

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hey babe I'm sorry I'm late for

dodgeball took forever chariot madam my

door still [ __ ] how is she

she's asleep Messiah Jesus yeah

insurance only covers half of it'd be

really nice to be rich when you can't

buy happiness yeah but it can buy

chemotherapy

but I don't want to change the mood or

anything but uh you know I've been doing

a lot of thinking

the Chinese Allison Rothschild I was

wondering if you still needed a

babysitter yes yes I have experienced

anything tonight yes I'm actually

available up yeah yeah five seven nine

is fine oh no no no don't worry about it

okay

all right thank you so much fight ladies

hidden tonight don't you have plans

already

oh [ __ ] I thought two years was kind of

a big deal Allison is that baby showing

tonight I made us whether I'm sorry I'm

being shitty but I need to take a job

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oh this money can buy evidence

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you

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pick you up at midnight

wait Allison I need to say something I

get that things have been extremely

difficult for you lately I get it but

they've been difficult for me too

we used to be in a relationship together

lately I feel like I'm just your ride

excuse me I know that sounds kind of

harsh but it's the truth

if we're going to be together we need to

be together sometimes I have three jobs

I can't pay for my mom I can't eat and

let's not forget the student loans I owe

from the college I dropped out of last

year I'm sorry that we can't be together

24/7 I know that you're trying and I

love you for but that's not what I need

right now when you support and $12,000

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look he could

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hello

is anybody there I have 9-1-1 dialed all

I have to do with

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it's change with me with a [ __ ]

you can either play my game and live or

I can smash her [ __ ] head right now

let me state my situation once more i

poopy you change my die back here's a

little dude shut the [ __ ] out okay I'm

gonna take my rattle away from your

pretty little face you're gonna grab the

blanket in the crib and lay it out on

the floor like a good mommy okay okay

don't make me chase you

clean diapers live in the dress or get

them

baby powder wet Wi-Fi fights if you've

done it before

get underneath

you are going to clean me and change me

if I think for one second you're going

to do you understand

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hey babe it's me I know you probably got

your hands full changing diapers or some

other babysitter stuff I don't know but

listen I want you to know I feel like a

real [ __ ] right now you're right I

can't even imagine all the [ __ ] you've

been dealing with but start over right

now I'm gonna be super boyfriend I

promise you as a matter of fact I'm on

my way over to bring some Chinese food

so I hope you give this give me a call

back I'll see you soon all right bye

love you

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shut the [ __ ] now if you promise to be

good mommy

I'll take your gag off but if you so

much as miss go [ __ ] and eat when you're

not supposed to I will put you in

timeout do you want to go to timeout do

we have a deal

now why are you here we're talking about

right now what we're talking about right

now is why you were here in this

situation right now when we get to that

part of the conversation I will let you

know why are you here ran away

I asked you a very reasonable part of

your job and you tried to make me my own

excrement now admittedly I didn't check

your references but so far your track

record is not looking very good I can't

trust you anymore you're not my first

mommy they all said the same thing they

may have paraphrased of that I am NOT a

bad person all I ever wanted

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maybe you feel me I wanted anyone to

take care of our mothers leave how can

you assure me that you won't all you

have in the world is my mom I will do

anything you want just please let me go

making this very difficult for me I will

give you one more shot and if you

promise to be a good mommy the rest of

the night I will make it worth your

while out of twelve thousand dollars

good now feed me

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outside first aren't you going to put my

bib on I don't want my shirt getting

messy

and hey Pete sorry what you're not going

to feed me because I don't like it I'm a

baby peas are good for me

please open your mouth please for mommy

if you don't open your mouth the plane

will have nowhere to land that's a good

good boy Allison I wasn't worried I

think it's picking me out a little bit

all right now are you

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do you wanna see the mess you made

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[Laughter]

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in hindsight maybe I should have called

them told them not to bother me and

people come out look at the bright side

now I get to cuddle you're inside a game

what a wonderful idea Alison let's play

a game the greatest game ever

hide-and-go-seek

first round do i I find you second round

I

where no one will find you 100

Mississippi 99 Mississippi

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45 Mississippi 44 5 4 3 2 1

I'm coming to get you now okay

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come out come out wherever you are

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time [ __ ]

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one or two

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and

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by

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you