Original subtitles

BETA: Chaos bots have been sent from the future

to stop the one person who can save the world.

Me?

CHORUS: (SINGING) Hey, hey, hey! Hailey's on it!

HAILEY: Teach a cat to play the piano Roller-skate all the way to Orlando

Use my ear wax?

To make a candle

CHORUS: Hey, hey, hey! Hailey's on it!

HAILEY: Win first place for world's cutest pet rock

Do a corn maze Hope I don't get lost

Eat an onion

Kiss my friend Scott?

(SCOTT GROANS)

CHORUS: Hey, hey, hey! Hailey's on it!

GREGORY: Legend shall speak of this day,

whence a hero will be not born, but made.

Let's do this.

(CAR LOCK BEEPS)

Welcome, all, to Oceanside's Annual Sandcastle Building Contest,

brought to ye by the Oceanside Shakespeare Company.

-And also, by Gravy Cakes. - (FEEDBACK SCREECHES)

MAN: (SINGING) Soggy and brown The best cakes in town, Gravy Cakes

KAI: Hey, the Banks are here.

Oh, Peter, hair's looking good, news reporter good.

Hi, Mrs. Dawson.

You better get that award-winning lemonade away from me

if you want to keep any.

Good morrow, Gregory.

My dad and I are kind of a big deal at the Sandcastle Building Contest.

We've been doing it for years.

It's become our tradition.

My dad has this cherished triple-packing technique,

which takes forever. So, we never really make a big castle,

or win or place at all.

But we do always have a good time

and get those sweet participation ribbons.

[Scott groaning]

Hey, Scott.

[Scott exclaims]

Thanks for watching Dwayne and Johnson so we can do this.

Oh, it's easy.

When they get bummed, I just give them cookies.

- [babies cooing] - Ahhh!

Nice to finally have a relaxing day to be... Holy Kettle Corn!

Beta, why are you here?

You hate the sun and people

and birds and sand.

All true, but I'm here because you need to win

the contest this year.

List item number 167.

I didn't tell you earlier, because I know how you are.

- You'd freak out. - I do not freak out!

I express my concerns loudly and quickly

because they're all buzzing around in my head.

Now this contest took on world-altering stakes.

Yes, I'm totally freaking out right now!

Hey, you got this, Hailey.

You know what? Dad and I can totally win.

Nobody here takes this contest seriously, anyways.

BOY: Hello, Hailey Banks.

HAILEY: This is A.C., and yeah, that's how he always looks.

Way back at Taylor Dyer's sixth birthday party,

I apparently beat him at Duck, Duck, Goose,

and he's claimed to be my bitter rival ever since.

I've tried ignoring him. I tried explaining

that both people have to care for it to be an actual rivalry.

But he's always just there.

Hope you brought aloe vera, Hailey Banks,

because you're about to get burned.

Why are you here, A.C.?

As you know, I have been keeping track of every competition we've ever had.

- Oh, jeez, not the paper... - On this paper.

And you are currently one up.

I am here to settle the score,

and nothing will stop me.

Aw! What the beans?

The folds keep going the wrong way,

and once you start, it's just messed up from the...

(BUGLE SOUNDING)

(CHUCKLES) We're having fun, aren't we?

Okay, we're gonna read the rules, folks.

Teams can bring three plastic shovels,

two pails and one personal bag into the area of their choosing.

All builders must stay in their roped-off area,

using only things within it to build their castle.

Exciting stuff!

Don't do that.

Architects! Nigh is the time of...

- (AIR HORN BLOWING) - Look how loud this is. So loud, right?

Can you believe how loud this is?

Yeah! Whoo-hoo!

Whoa!

(PANTING)

(GASPS)

(GRUNTS)

Hi! Good pick, Hail. Water access, shade from the bluffs,

sand is a bit loose,

but nothing our triple-packing technique can't fix.

Rookie move, picking the least level area, A.C.

You're already off to a bumpy start.

Oh, no! Whatever will I...

Wait, what's this, that just happens to be buried here?

Gee, I just hope I can guess the password

on this here control tablet.

Hey, it's my birthday.

(CHUCKLES MALICIOUSLY)

That is such a lucky break.

We're just going to have to step up our game. Hey, Dad?

And, done. First brick.

Phew! I gotta pace myself. Musubi break.

You know, Dad, I was thinking, maybe we could try

for a little bigger castle this year.

I mean, what if we just did double packing?

(LAUGHS) And make a sandcastle that will only last a week?

Isn't this a one-day contest?

Hailey, mai maka'u i ka hana.

Any job worth doing

is worth doing right.

Yeah. Dad, you know what?

I'm gonna work over here for a bit.

Scott, give me some raisins.

Wait, what is this?

This beach is crawling with carpenter crabs,

who build around their food sources to protect them.

GREGORY: Ah! A western power casts its shadow

upon the eastern giant.

ZOOT: I like those little robots.

(SLURPS)

Is that a sardine?

- Ahhh! Beta! - You are mine.

(GRUNTING)

Oh! All under control.

Thanks, Beta. Good luck.

How dare she thwart my brilliant sabotage?

This means war.

Gee, who knew the beach would be so warm?

I'd sure be a "fan" of something that could cool me down.

Pun intended and well executed.

Wow. The Breeze Blaster 4000.

The world's most powerful battery-operated fan,

which just so happens to be available

at my parent's store, Fans Plus.

What a coincidence!

Yeah, that's a huge coincidence.

I'm starting to think A.C. buried some of that stuff beforehand.

- To cheat! - (SCOFFS)

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

GREGORY: The Black Plague, the Sacking of Rome,

shampoo in thine eyes,

tragedies all but small compared to this.

What the beans? Is that sea...

(GRUNTS)

Yeah, it's seaweed.

Fire!

- (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING) - (HUMMING)

All droids to the front lines. All droids to the front lines!

Hailey, you should know, A.C.'s droids are overpowering the crabs

on the battlefield.

Yes, Scott, I can see. It's literally three feet away.

It's time. Release the twins.

Heaven help us all.

(RUMBLING)

(COOING)

(LAUGHING)

GREGORY: The crab queen's monsters all heave and smash

but unseen to all, looms the sugar crash.

What? Greg, have you been speaking in rhyme this entire time?

Have I?

(GRUNTS)

(SNORING)

Time to finish this.

The crabs are gone,

the catapults are dismantled, the twins are passed out.

Honestly, I don't want to wake them up.

- (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING) - (HUMMING)

Aquari... Aguami... Uh...

Oh! Just do the thing we talked about.

(CRYING)

That thing that you just...

Whoa.

Contest got kind of crazy this year.

What have I done?

Now, we're never going to win.

And everyone else's castles are destroyed, too.

Not everybody's.

But the wind, the water, the small-scale war?

Are no match for the triple-packing technique.

- Remember, any job worth doing... - Is worth doing right.

Whoa!

Déjà vu.

Except your dad said it earlier and we were there.

It didn't sink in with you then,

- but now you've learned... - I get it, Scott.

What ho!

This last bastion shan't be other than victor's hall.

I think you win by default.

(CLAPPING SOFTLY)

(BEEPING)

(GRUNTS)

What the beans?

Oh, yeah. Even better than a participation ribbon.

And don't forget your sweet $25 Gravy Cakes gift card.

- Who wants wet cake? - ALL: We do!

This is disgusting.

BOTH: Mmm-hmm.

KAI: Too wet.

We did it, old friend. We did it.

(SQUAWKS)

Come on, bug off, you dumb...

No, I didn't mean to... Ahhh!